My minds a blood bath

Amaranth Catori · 04-06-2011, 04:09 PM

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WARNING This thread contains: strong language and minor sexuality starting with the 1st post. Reader discretion is advised.

ooc...I only put the warning because she may get a bit angry and swear since she has issues >.>

Amaranth had her mom here. her mother had been here since the birth and today she left to check on her family. Amaranth felt upset by this she wanted her mother here. She was upset and distraught. She didn't really have the mothering skills either.

Looking down at the ball of fluff she sighed. looking away from him towards the opening. She was suffering from minor depression her to girls had died. Here she was stuck with this ball of fluff that looked just as dog as she did. She wished to breed that trait out. She didn't want any pups to look like her yet here he was Jiva her son. Two little girls one that looked like she would turn out similar to her father and the other more like her grand mother. Lighter under a dark top.

Her mind returned to Jiva she lacked so much as a young mother. She didn't have all the built in instincts just yet. Jiva whimpered and gave little squeaks looking for Amaranth. What do you want Jiva? Amaranth snapped hating to be distracted from her thoughts. Maybe this was wrong maybe she hadn't been ready for this. picking up the squirming boy she looked at him born first he should be the strongest but that wasn't always true was it. Amaranth was the stronger and she was second born.

Watching him squirm in her hands she smiled she would make sure he was strong. Bringing him to her breast she smiled cradling him like the baby he was. Her mothers words feeding her to keep her emotions under control. "Jiva you are lucky boy your sisters were not meant for this world but you my son are." she tried to do as her mother said. She tried so hard to breath and force back her emotional train wreck of a mind.

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Niro Takekuro · 04-06-2011, 04:35 PM

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Word Count → 335 :: <3

Amaranth was not the only one saddened by the loss of the two female puppies that she had birthed. His youngest daughters never got to breath out their first breath. It saddened Niro, but he had a boy, and though he seemed helpless and weak, Niro wanted to protect his little boy with all his might. He’d been in the back working on a room for Jiva, for when he would be old enough to be on his own. He had already finished Maggie’s room, though it had not been used, and when it was she never really left it. He heard Amaranth snap at the pup and he stopped what he was doing, setting his tools down and going into the main room. It seemed her moment of irritation was over with for now. He moved over to her, to see her cradling their son.

“He’s definitely got his mother’s looks”

He said as though he didn’t over hear her anger. He sighed, wishing the two girls had been alive as well. He knew it did not do well to dwell on such things, maybe just one pup was meant for them for the time being, he knew he’d defend Jiva with his life. He would go to the ends of the earth for the pup like he wasn’t able to with his daughters.

“He’s special, and we should do what we can to keep him happy and healthy.”

He moved even closer to her, and moved behind her to kiss her cheek and watch as the squirming pup got comfortable in her arms. He knew if she needed time from holding the pup he’d hold him. He had as little experience as she had, though slightly more, though his daughters were one month old when he knew about thim. He wanted to learn with this one. He wanted to be as good of a father as he could be with this single little puppy.

Amaranth Catori · 04-06-2011, 05:01 PM

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ooc...I only put the warning because she may get a bit angry and swear since she has issues >.>

Amaranth found herself happily cradling her son. the mood swings she suffered from were swift and came and went. Her mother told her she would have slight mood swings but wouldn't be bad. She found them terrible snapping at a deaf and blind infant. She could only hope that within days she could get herself under control.

Niro had come to join her he had been working hard on their little cave really turning it into a house. looking up at him with a glare she began to speak.
"May god help him for he looks like me. I only hope that he travels on the right path" She said. She smiled looking at the pup happily filling his belly. Maybe it was this that caused her to be happy right now. The connection between mother and child. The endorphins that were released through moments like this were strong enough to turn her anger and sorrow into pleasure and joy.

She could tell Niro had heard her snap at Jiva she had never before though having Ayita around calmed her.
"Yes we do need to do everything we can to help him She said her mind frothing with feelings. Jiva stopped suckling as she looked at him. He gave this squealing yawn that mad her confused.

She found herself trapped in her mind. Horrid thoughts crossed her mind why deal with any pups now two were dead she could kill him to. She was a murder she felt that way. She felt trapped with him unable to do what she wanted. She murdered her daughters they never had a chance at life she had never given them that chance at life. Her little knowledge of mothering and her age caused the two girls to parish. Had she waited had she not been in such a rush they might be alive too.

Snapping out of it she looked at Niro. holding out the child to him she didn't want to hold him now anymore. She was finding her mind to be corrupt maybe haku had gotten to her after all. Maybe she was becoming a demon slowly only time would tell.

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Niro Takekuro · 04-06-2011, 05:18 PM

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Word Count → 331 :: <3

Niro could tell that she was having mixed feelings, and now he could understand Vigilante's worries. He hated that she was angry, that something was wrong. He hated she had to deal with two deaths. He didn't know what she was thinking about it, if he did he'd wipe those thoughts away. She handed Jiva to Niro and he held the pup tenderly, letting the boy fall asleep on his arm.

"How about when your mother comes back we go hunting? If Jiva gets hungry your mom is still nursing she can give him a little with her own children. You need to get out, if's been a while, need to let out some pent of energy."

He knew he shouldn't rely entirely on Ayita, he didn't want the woman to live with them like she seemed to be, but she was worried about Amaranth, and for a good cause, and Amaranth was finally connecting with her mother again, though in the worst way possible... Niro thought. The death of the children was something that was common. He knew this only because he'd seen death quite a bit when he was younger.

For now relax my love I'll keep him quiet and calm... are you feeling alright?

He asked, he knew the best way to get bad feelings out was to talk about them and he knew she was having some, though not what kinds. He always knew when something was about to happen with her... maybe not always but most of the time. He worked on keeping her from cracking this long, it was going to be the same way now. He hoped that having the pups didn’t cause her any more depression, but he knew it had, for he felt saddened when his daughters came out breathless. He was still feeling it as a new and fresh wound to his own soul.

Amaranth Catori · 04-06-2011, 05:35 PM

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ooc...she has lost it

If anyone could see inside Amaranths head they would take the child away from her and cast her out. She found her mind to be a blood bath. She found her self trapped on the thought of her dead daughters how she was unable to do anything for them. Though she had been the one to kill them.

Amaranth felt Jiva leave her arms and it was like her mind was beginning to snap. Niro talked about going out leaving Jiva in her mothers hands for a little bit. She couldn't do that only she could protect Jiva. She wasn't sure what caused her to want to snatch the boy from him. Maybe it was being trapped here learning how to be a good mother trying to do right.

Him asking her a question had caused her to snap knocking over the baby bassinet she had found for her babies she snarled of course she was not ok. "I'm not fucking alright all I can think of are the two girls that I murdered the fucking two girls that never took their first breath." She snarled looking at him. furry raged in her purple eyes.
"I even think about killing Jiva" it slipped she froze and found herself staring at the sleeping boy. No looking down beside her at the bed. She had to protect him, she had to keep him safe from the demons.

she had snapped looking at her soon her hands shook she had to protect him she had to.
"I can't hurt an innocent soul, I can't hurt him. I have to protect him, protect him, protect him with my life" She felt the tears welling up behind her eyes.

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Niro Takekuro · 04-06-2011, 06:00 PM

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Word Count → 705 :: Niro's not gonna put up with that!! Bad wolfies for fighting!!

Niro had not expected this reaction, though it came and hard. He could see the turmoil in her eyes now as she thrashed out at his question. He felt horrible, and even more so when she admitted what was going on in her head, he held the pup close to him, he could only keep the pup from getting the angry vibes, from getting hit by the bed that she had found for him, it was not easy to be a nuetral in this situation, especially when she admitted she wanted to kill Jiva. He held the boy to him. Niro could never let that happen. And he was silent as she went into tears telling how she had to protect him. He was silent and when he was sure she finally calmed enough, he picked up the bassinet with one hand and settled it down, where he put Jiva, and moved between the sleeping pup and his mate.

“You are not right! You didn’t kill your daughters, your mother didn’t kill her unborn and the other mothers around did not kill theirs. It’s the way of life. Our Jiva is special, he survived and if he is to live you need to stop thinking like this. It’s hard, but there is no demons inside you, or him. There are no demons inside of me. The only demon that has ever been around you is That man that hurt you so bad, He’s gone, and now we have a family of our own, that we need to protect, if you keep thinking of hurting our son I won’t hesitate to take him from you, and raise him on my own. Now stop, think use your head, I love you and I don’t ever want to do that, and I want us to be together forever. I want us to have a big family, but if you keep snapping like this ,it will hurt everyone. You are not at fault, but you are starting to make it so and I can’t have OUR son in a situation where he is at odds with himself. Don’t make me hurt our family. You are my love, but you need to understand things happen without our influence. You did everything to protect our daughters, everything to make them what they could be, but they were not meant to enter this world. Jiva was, and we need to make sure we keep him well and HAPPY”

He breathed hard, he was still between his son and his mate, and he hated himself for talking to her like this. He knew it was not the best situation to do something, but he had to, for his son’s sake. He had to get it clear to Amaranth that life never had been fair and they could only do what they could to make what decisions they thought were best. Niro hated the hatred that his mate put up with in her own body that she didn’t need to. He knew she could be the best person around, that she was sweet and kind, but when something like this happened that stressed her out, he knew it would end up even worse sooner or later and he hoped this would be the worse of it. He wasn’t sure his threat was taken well, or not, but he would surely take to being with a woman who was still nursing so that he could raise his son in an even environment. He didn’t want that though, he wanted his mate to be the one to take care of the pup and be happy. She would have to stop blaming herself, to stop thinking she was some kind of demon. He knew she wasn’t and she never was, that it was in her head all bcause of Haku, who was long dead now. He heard a whimper behind him, it seemed Jiva had awoken, and Niro turned to take the pup in his arms. He cradled the boy close and looked at Amaranth. He knew as much as she did about taking care of a child but as overwhelmed as he was, he would try his best no matter what.

Amaranth Catori · 04-07-2011, 12:27 PM

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ooc...And all she needed was a good kick in the ass. 3+

She watched intensely as Niro held their sleeping son and shifted him to the baby bed that he picked up off the floor. She needed her son and she couldn't believe what a train wreck she was. She watched him move between her and the child. He could do that she needed him.

Niro's voice broke the silence as she looked at him. He was so angry and he should be the tears welled more as she began to cry harder. She wanted him to stop yelling to stop. She didn't mean any of it she loved her son. She loved him with everything she was. Back to the wall she slid down it crying. "please stop." her whispers unheard as Niro continues his speech.

Neko was awoken by all the commotion and slid himself out from under the blankets. He stretched looking at niro then to amaranth with such a questioning look. Sliding himself closer to the upset woman. Once again looking up at her face with that look of what have you done now. He adverted his gaze to Niro who seemed to be done.

"Don't take him from me." she whispered "I need you I need him" She said. Her voice evening out as she watched him pick Jiva up. "Please Niro I love you and I love him" She said forcing herself to stand forcing herself to move to him. Would he ever trust her with him alone? Could he ever love her still for the stupid things she had said. "niro Forgive me I'm begging you. I'd die with out you or Jiva"

She reached for her whimpering son she had caused him pain today with her stress. Niro was right he was always right she couldn't think the way she did. She didn't kill them, she did all she could she had to do the same for him. "Please let me hold him" She asked calmly. Neko lept up perching himself on her shoulders. he had not known what had happened but she was calm now. She felt that she had changed and he was happy.

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Niro Takekuro · 04-08-2011, 04:21 PM

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Word Count → 270 :: <3

Niro could see that she was regretting her outburst, but he couldn't just hand his son over to her, not when she admitted that she wanted to hurt him. To kill him. It hurt him to keep their son from her. She had shown her love to Jiva but she'd also shown the irritation that soon turned into rage.

"I Love you too Amaranth, I love Jiva and I want to keep our family together, If you have anymore thoughts like that let. Me. Know."

He said sternly. He wanted to make it clear he would never let her near Jiva if she did try to act on how she felt.

"If you do love him you'll have to take care of yourself, get some time to yourself. He will be fine, I can see how stressed you are."

Niro said calmly and moved closer to her. Jiva was nestled in Niro's arms whimpering a little, but didn't seem any more distressed than that. Niro was glad that that the pup couldn't hear just yet and hoped that when he did start he wouldn't have to hear his parents fighting. He sat down next to to her, but was slightly timid. He wasn't sure if he should let her, though she seemed so despirate, he was still afraid that she might do something to the pup, but he knew her and she had calmed down, which was a good thing, but he felt apprehensive. He stayed quiet though and watched his mate carefully.

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