[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... pik1-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> <3
Kansas hurt. His head hurt, his heart hurt. He never thought he’d feel this way, truly – one knew feeling hopeless was a possibility, but it was never expected. Not until it actually happened. He had wandered around the new territory, trying in vain to find someone he recognized. Today he happened to end up in a place where pathetic-looking grass grew here and there, and boulders were scattered everywhere like small mines. Dare he step on them? He wouldn’t want to lose himself, too. He thought of Phoenix, Iskata, his siblings… Were they all gone? He’d asked himself this question many times, but it never got old.
Kansas had nothing with him. His hands were empty. He sat upon a flat stone, his knees drawn to his chest. He had cried enough, and although he felt just as bad as he had a few days earlier, there were no tears left. His paw drifted to his muzzle, where the two burns on its side were healing slowly. But they were uncomfortable, and he knew the scars would be there forever. He thought of Naniko… was she here? He didn’t allow himself to hope for something so wonderful. His hand settled back around his leg, and he just sat there, the breeze ruffling his gold fur and his eyes shut tightly.
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She looked up at the bleak sky as she went, shaking her fur a little bit. She felt so dirty—her white fur was littered with small pieces of mud and tiny pebbles, a souvenir of the territory that she was traveling through. This had to be one of the messiest, worst territories that she’d ever had the opportunity to visit; the beaches were rough, scattered with sharp pebbles and mud holes that were really deep. She’d already fallen into one of them, going up to her ankles in the stuff.
It was barely warm enough for swimming, but she decided that it was something that couldn’t wait until she got back home. A leader looking the way she did? She wanted to look dignified, not raggedy. Naniko started toward the water, shifting down to her four-legged form so that it would be easier to wash. She wouldn’t have to go out as far, because the water could reach more of her.
As soon as she looked a little more decent she began to head into the grass. She’d have to get some herbs from here, if she could find them…because her stock was running low. Sirius and Apollo both had gotten caught in the fire, and now they were old enough that she could risk using a little medicine on them to ease the pain of their healing burns. She tried to avoid some of the worse, muddier places, but her coat was flecked with dark spots by the time she reached the thin tree line.
Lately she hadn’t been doing much, just hanging around Twilight Vale and running around with Conri…it was kind of nice to be out by herself. She’d heard rumors that some of her family had come around to the other packs, like Ember…and she had seen Iskata running around the woods, too. It was good to know that some of them had made it out. There were still the others, though…the ones that she tried not to think about. She wanted to save them all, and it hurt that she couldn’t.
The girl started through the rocky woods, head low to the ground. Everything smelled so strange here…she wasn’t sure if she’d recognize the herbs she needed even if she did smell them.
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... pik1-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Sorry for the wait... I'm in Virginia for my dad's funeral, and I haven't been able to write much till now.
His head was bent in his despair, and his dark brown bangs fluttered down in front of both eyes, tickling his snout so that he wrinkled it in surprise. He opened his eyes slowly, brushing his soft hair into place, where it hung like a curtain over the right half of his face. He didn't know what it was he wanted to do... Sitting here had at first seemed like a good idea. Sometimes he found that if he just put himself somewhere, a place that didn't require any caution or other kinds of distracting emotions, he could simply think. And if he talked to himself in his mind enough, he could bring himself to some sort of conclusion.
Today, he was trying in vain to use this method of thought to calm himself. However, he quickly learned that it just wouldn't work as he'd wanted it to. Every time he tried to think of something positive, his head clouded over with loneliness and longing. He couldn't spend another moment alone - so he couldn't expect to find any relief by... meditation.
A blur entered his line of vision, a flash of white moving ahead through the forest. Kansas felt there was something familiar about the stride of the wolf, but he didn't allow himself to hope. He stood, dusting dirt from his coat with black-clawed hands, and made his way toward the female, uncertain. He did not want to just chase her down, fearing this would seem weird, desperate... but wasn't that what Kansas was? He didn't care. He had to see if it was her. His long limbs brought him behind her, and though he couldn't see her face, he was almost certain that this was her. He brushed his hand against her shoulder, gently, not wanting to startle her as they continued to walk. "Are you...?" he began, stupidly.
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... ized-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> No no, don't you worry about it! Slight powerplay--if it's not okay for them to fall, then tell me and I'll definitely change it :]
"Oh God--" Before she realized what she was doing she was shifting back. It hurt a little bit, because she was trying to do it so fast...but she managed to get finished without too much discomfort. All she knew was that he was here--and that she wanted, no, needed to hug him. Her brain had already connected the fact that she'd have to shift back to her two legged form to be able to do that, thus the shifting had begun.
As soon as she was changed back she grabbed him, overcompensating in her excitement, tripping and falling and taking him with her. She couldn't believe that this was real, but at the same time she'd never felt someone so solid. He was definitely there. She felt like she could cry--she had been thinking about him so much...not a day had gone by that she hadn't wondered where he was, if he was all right. And to see him now, nearly untouched...it was too much.
She didn't realize that she was crying until she felt the moisture on her muzzle, her head buried deep into his fur. Kansas was so much more than a little-brother type to her--he was her best friend. She'd come to realize in the weeks they'd been apart that he had very much been a part of her life...a part that she'd missed so much."I can't believe..." She was able to choke that much out before the sobs overtook her again.
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... pik1-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Okay, this time I blame school.
He didn't know how she would react... Perhaps she'd harp on him for startling her, or else ask why he had touched her like that. In the back of his mind, Kansas knew she was not this kind of girl - his fears were a source of comfort. But when she uttered a soft gasp, her jade eyes wide with shock, he knew that she cared just as much as he did. In the bleak weeks before, he'd been so afraid that he would never see her again. More than anyone else, he was terrified by her possible absence from his life.
He felt stupid for being in his Optime form, stupid for coming upon her so suddenly. He watched her shift, hurriedly, so much so that he was sure it hurt her. Kansas hadn't wanted that. Before he could apologize, her arms were around him, and the teen wrapped his own hands behind her back. They toppled over, and he ended up beside her. She was crying. Oh, why would she cry for him? He'd done nothing for her; it was all Naniko teaching him, enriching his life. Why would she care for him at all?
He just hugged his dear friend and step-sister softly, glad she felt comfortable enough to cry into his fur. He didn't ever want to let her go - he feared that if he did, she would fly away and be gone forever. "Neither can I... I thought I'd never see you again."
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... ized-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Wow...I totally didn't have this in my post log -headdesk- >_< Sorry for the wait!! -just edited it in- x_X
She managed to get some degree of composure back after a few minutes, though she didn't release her hold on him. It felt like if she did, he might dissapear--or she might find out that he wasn't real at all. She was still in a state of shock, unsure of whether she was dreaming or not. She'd just thought about this so much that she was certain that now that it was happening, it was a lie. Some trick of her mind. She wasn't sure, but she'd heard things about insanity on her father's side. Maybe it was true.
Naniko's breathing evened out eventually. She was able to speak more clearly and she did so, leaning back just a little so she could look at him. "I just...right now, you were the last one I was expecting to run into" Maybe that would make her sound ungrateful--which she definitely wasn't. "It's a good thing. A really, really, really good thing. I looked around for you in the fire, but I couldn't find you. I met up with Conri and then left to search some more. I did find Dierdre...but she didn't make it. Her children, our step-siblings...Sirius and Apollo. They're living with her mother, in my pack"
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... pik1-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> <3
He loved having someone he adored so near. He didn't often let anyone get physically close to him like this - he was guarded, reserved. Kansas had grown to enjoy keeping to himself. But having his dearest friend beside him, knowing she was safe and sound after there had been so many doubts in his mind... It was wonderfully comforting. His emotions settled down a bit, and his tense body loosened up, relaxation and a euphoric sense of safety filling him. He released her, allowing her to look him over as she spoke. Kansas wished he looked better - right now he was dirty and the burn on his muzzle was far from attractive. Somehow, though, he didn't think she would mind.
He felt his heart sink, but then was uplifted again when she offered him reassurance. She'd looked for him? He felt even more flattered and surprised. Naniko had taken time amid the chaos to look for an insignificant boy like him. Kansas found himself smiling, ashamed immediately of such pride. She mentioned more relatives, ones he had never met - and also a pack. Of course there would be packs here. Enough time had passed. He wondered if she was the leader, she and Conri; it seemed likely, for they were perfect for the job.
"I looked for you, too. A few enemies of my father took us, Phoenix and Moon and me. I... I think Phoenix was stabbed, I think he's dead. I don't know what they did with Moon. And... Icarus is dead, too. I don't know about Ember." His eyes were full of sadness, but there were no tears within them. "I wandered by myself for a while, thinking. I read a little too. But I couldn't stand living by myself, so I came here... I'm so happy that I found it. And you." He looked away, embarrassed. Tentatively, he asked her the question that was on the tip of his tongue. He so wanted to know about the pack she belonged to. Or led. "Your pack... Do you like it? I mean, er, I'm glad you've found a place to live, you and Conri and everyone else."
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[html]  So beautifully wrong
They began a conversation, the back and forth coming easily to her. She was very interested in hearing how he was, how he'd been, where he'd been, what he'd seen. Everything. And she equally wanted him to know everything she had been up to, and how the pack and the pups were. She didn't notice the state that he was in, so preoccupied with the fact that he was there, in one piece. He had some deaths to tell her of and she took the news quietly. She'd known that some wouldn't make it...but knowing that she would never seen Icarus and Phoenix again didn't make it any easier to take. "I haven't seen Ember...but then, I hadn't seen her for a little while before the fire either. She came by the den sometimes...but then she stopped coming, all of a sudden." She had guessed that maybe the girl had gone off after Iskata, but wasn't sure. "I don't like living by myself either. I learned that in Clouded Tears. Every member there practically lived by themselves...it was like being a lone wolf. I missed seeing all of my packmates and family" But now she was in a new pack with a bright future. How could the future be any different with she, Conri, Deuce, and Lucifer there? They had four strong adults, and she was sure that the pack would be there to stay. There were a few other members, but she didn't know them very well; they often left the lands to go out and explore other places. "Twilight Vale is amazing, especially at night. I think that's why Conri wanted to name it that--the place lights up after dusk. I swear, you can see every star in the sky. Some nights it's so bright it's almost like it's daylight. We've got Deuce and Lucifer there, too. Deuce's two sons are there, along with Apollo and Sirius. It's really great. And we even have our own lake" She didn't dare let herself hope that he might want to come back home with her--that would be too much at once.
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This, too, was one of the things that he so treasured about her - she was so easy to talk to. Though most of their conversations had been low-key, he felt as though he could tell her whatever he wanted. Perhaps she felt the same way, on some level. He knew she was the friend of many. Kansas wanted to hear everything about what her life had been like in their time apart.
Her words about Ember were yet another blow to the boy. He tried not to visibly deteriorate, though it felt like this was exactly what was happening within him. Another sibling, a girl he'd grown up with, perhaps gone. Probably gone. He hated to imagine a world without his good-hearted sister. It had been hard enough with Firefly. "I want to see my sister again. I hope she made it. I think I'm going to look for her, just in case. "
He was glad when Naniko began telling him about herself - it was what he'd been waiting for. He had never understood why she'd been a member of Clouded Tears. From what he'd heard, its members were generally freakish and reclusive. Naniko couldn't at all be described that way. "It's good that you don't feel alone anymore."
Twilight Vale sounded beautiful, fascinating, and... calming. A place where one could have a sense of belonging. Nothing would ever be the same to him as Storm, but the idea of Twilight Vale made him smile; he already found himself exploring the idea of living there. "It's so great that you found a place like that. It sounds really beautiful. I... I need to find a place to stay soon." He paused. He didn't want to disrupt the steady life Naniko had made for herself, if his joining the pack even made this a possibility. "Is there room for more?" He really hoped there would be. He wanted to be near to his family. Her family. He longed to feel at home again.
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[html] So beautifully wrong
She had grown up with an assortment of family members, and she found it easy to take in more and more as she went on. Naniko had been raised to believe that it wasn't blood that tied relatives together--it was love. As soon as you really got close to someone, they felt the same way that family did. Was blood even that important in these times? Not at all. "I'll keep my eye out, and if she comes near our lands I'll make sure you know. I can tell Pilot to look, too" She offered. She hoped that more of the family had made it; to actually have some siblings left? That'd be great. Her younger sister Selene had run off a while back...and she hadn't seen Pontiac in months. She knew that she had another little brother, Helios, but she'd never met him. Naniko agreed that she didn't feel alone any more. When she had first met Kansas she'd been pretty lonely, with Conri gone...but now she had him to take care of her. "Conri had left...but it wasn't his fault. He was kidnapped by his brother..and his brother did some horrible things to him" He didn't like to talk about it, and Naniko had never pressed him for details. She figured if he wanted her to know, someday he might tell her. There were things that she kept from him, too, things that she kept from the world. At his next words, the white wolf raised her eyebrows. "You don't even have to ask! Any time. Now, a year from now, three years from now. There will never be a time when you will have to worry about whether or not you have a home. A place to stay. Even if you don't want to stay for a long time, just a few months...or if you want to stay forever. You're always welcomed to come to Twilight Vale and live"
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[html] http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c73/p ... pik1-1.jpg); background-position: center center; background-repeat: no-repeat;"> Want to wrap this up soon? We can do a fade-to-black where they talk some more, or whatever you want! <3
Kansas was also one who couldn't comprehend why blood relations would be of any importance. Love was love, whether you were related or not, and there were so many different kinds of love. He couldn't quite explain what he felt for Naniko, not really knowing what it was himself. All he could say for sure was that it was a combination of things; he frightened himself when he tried to label them. He was closer to her than he had been to any of his other siblings (aside from Firefly as a pup), and this was more proof than he needed.
He smiled gratefully. At this point, his optimism had diminished, thus he was very doubtful that their searches would be fruitful. But with mutiple wolves looking for Ember, he knew he could rest more easily. Perhaps he needed to let go enitrely, but his wounds were too fresh and painful for him to just forget about so soon.
Though once jealousy had tickled Kansas' insides whenever Conri was mentioned, he had matured to the point of knowing that Conri was important to Naniko - so, naturally, the male was also important to Kansas. He made Naniko happy, gave her another individual to boundlessly love. He didn't know much about the cinnamon male, but hearing that he had been taken by a family member and treated badly was just unimaginable. Kansas nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry. I'll have to tell him that myself when I meet him."
She didn't even hesitate to welcome him into her home. Just greeted the request with a smile and a cheery answer; his heart soared as it hadn't in quite a long time. He hated living as a loner; it was a pointless and grueling life. "Thank you. It means a lot to know that I can come stay with you and your family. I'll come by soon, after I've looked around for Ember and my mother for a few days," he hugged her softly, his eyes doleful and full of thanks.
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