[html] private for Maria
For the lupines of the new Insieme clan, the last few days had been hectic to an extreme. Laying claim to the land, securing borders; establishing ranks and rules and festivities. They were all building their lives anew together, a task every bit as difficult as he'd imagined it. The stress was taking its toll on all of them - Giuseppe especially could feel himself stretched thin physically and mentally. And yet, the exhaustion was bittersweet; he was more content now than he had been in months. Perhaps it was the fresh air of the New World or the rekindling of familial ties.
Family was still a novel thing, however. The peace he and Maria had found upon the night of their reunion was short-lived. A tense void replaced it, full of things unsaid and (on Giu's part) old suspicions revisited. Still, Giuseppe was avoiding the confrontation he knew was necessary for healing, because even this half-relationship was better than nothing at all.
Finally one morning before the heat of the day, the broad-shouldered Luperci went to look for his lady-love. She probably wouldn't be far, not with her leg still tender. Perhaps the beach he'd check first, among the post-dawn seabirds. [/html]
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Maria had gotten up fairly early. Sleeping was rare these past few days and getting up early was going on, as well, and this morning was not different. Every morning, her leg felt better but most likely due to the rest she got over the night. Leaving the house, their house, Maria found herself comfortable on the shoreline, just out of reach of high tide before it decided to go back into the ocean. Her leg splayed out and a hand rested on the thigh where the bone had broken. With a deep sigh, she turned her head to see her husband coming in her direction. Maria would normally smile in the direction of Giuseppe, but today it was not the same. Today, he didn't have the expression she wanted to see. In the back of her mind, she knew what was coming and she feared for the answers she might not have.
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The fates and furies were kind, and Giuseppe found Maria seated on the shoreline. Her loveliness in the morning light did some serious damage to the strength of his resolve. He strode forward though, with much the same expression as one facing the dentist. He'd feel so much better once the rotten tooth was removed, but going through the process was hell on earth. Giu sighed and winced.
He sat down opposite to his wife, but close enough that he could take her hand in his. The action was awkward - the picture of someone attempting tenderness who wasn't quite used to it and wasn't quite sure how best to approach it. "Dobbiamo parlare." His voice was quiet, but tempered with steel. He had questions that needed answering, and prayed the answers were of the variety he wanted to hear. [/html]
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Giuseppe came to her quickly and she watched him with her golden teal eyes until he came to sit down. When he laced with her fingers, her eyes dropped and she stared down at their grasp and her thumb rubbed across the backside of his hand. At his statement, she grew scared of what was actually going on. She looked up to see her lover's face and her lips twisted, her eyes pleaded, and she was afraid. She silently ran questions through her mind on what he might want. Was he leaving? She sighed and searched his eyes, squeezing his hand. She didn't vocally ask him about what was going on, part of her knew, but she hoped that he was not going to leave her for their homeland because this was too hard. She had made it this far but she knew she couldn't take care of their whole family, Anderung and Ari included, on her own.
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There was fear in her eyes, plain as day. Giu was in turn distressed - he wanted honesty from her, nothing more; nothing less. He could not smile reassuringly, but he gently squeezed her hand in return. "Devo sapere..." He was alarmed when her gaze turned down -- it was easier to hide truths behind a hidden eyes -- but relaxed when she faced him again. If nothing else, they were more on equal footing this way, neither hiding; both exposed. "Devo sapere perché lei mi ha lasciato, sostiene in Italia." There was a certain tension in his voice, one part anger and one part fear. [/html]
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Maria sighed and picked her eyes up, focusing on him. The statement was not as bad as she might thought but maybe the worst was coming later. She smiled a little, though awkward, but nonetheless smiled. She wanted to tell him but didn't know how before and eventually it would come out. But what if it was not good enough for him? Back home, Giuseppe had been a bit demanding and dominant in their relationship and she always had to strive to please him. Though here, in another land, he seemed different. "Non ho voluto a," she said, honesty in her voice. She loved him too much, had a family with him, and couldn't have easily thrown it away. "Ero con Beppe nella città e lei sa come curioso è... Ha preso su uno delle barche spedendo fuori da e sono andato dopo che lui ma era anche tardi, E non potremmo ritornare. Siamo stati con un pacco dove il fuoco era," she explained with a sigh, staring at him and hoped for the love of their relationship that it was good enough. "Poi ho rotto la mia gamba quando viaggiavo e ho speso dei mesi lontano da lui su fino alla destra prima del fuoco quando l'ho trovato," she added on. "Ma l'ho trovato poco prima del fuoco ed adesso... siamo qui," she finished, wrapping up with another sigh.
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[html] I apologize if Giu's character seems a little inconsistent; I'm still hashing out the details of his personality.
Maria smiled, a gesture which Giu was not entirely sure how to interpret. Perhaps they were both trying to comfort the other's fears in the language used when words failed. For his part, the smoke-toned male sat still while she spoke, listening with a frightening intensity. "Perché lei non ha inviato la parola? Qualcosa, niente?" Suspicion hedged into his voice for the first time; all of the doubts that had been building up since she disappeared finally finding cracks in the dam of his emotions. How could he convey to her the roller coaster ride of what he'd gone through? First, the fear that something had happened to them; that he had been a young father and now a young widower. Then, when there were no trails of blood, the rash, hot anger when he was sure he'd simply been left for another man. Those were the most harmful days, during which there was a lot of alcohol and a brawl or two - and one tight scrape when it was good that his brother was looking out for him. The worst came last though, a stifling depression that made even the sunniest day seem winter-gray. Eventually he'd came here, only to repeat the whole damn process over again.
And thus his questioning began. [/html]
To lazy and tired for a translator, so pretend she is speaking in Italian. =p
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Then the doubt came. The part that made her withdraw when her response was not good enough. Her head turned and she focused on the coast to try and think of something to say. "It is not as advanced here as it is in Italy," she said, words rolling off her tongue. When speaking in Italian, it came so naturally, while her English was choppy. Her hand slowly pulled away from her lover, turning to stare at him. She knew he thought the worst and perhaps had she put more effort into it, something would have come out of it but she was also discovering herself in the new land. "Getting anything back over there was pretty nonexistent when we got off the boat. We weren't even supposed to be on there!" Maria shuddered and the movement was obvious. The ship's crew had not been the most friendly and after they had been found had been quite a downhill and it took all her strength and convincing to let them ride along in peace. Her hands gripped each other and relaxed in her lap, pulling her gaze away from him. She could barely handle sitting here in the conversation with the man she loved whom doubted her motives.
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Giu's temper flared. Her answers were frustrating in their simplicity and yet plausible enough to hinder white-hot anger. Oddly, anger was what he wanted; to rant and rave and blame someone for the hell his life had been over the last few months. A newfound sensitivity stayed the worst of his wrath but did nothing to hide the dark suspicion that now laced through his baritone voice. "Ma dove lei viaggiava quando lei ha rotto la sua gamba? Perché lei lascerebbe Beppe in primo luogo?" He drew up his knees and rested his elbows there; his body language reflecting the turmoil of his emotions. Suspicion and anger a-plenty, but also an emotional pain so severe it made his body ache. Loss is a harsh teacher, and it was beginning to look like another lesson was heading his way. [/html]
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Maria’s face twisted at her constant accusations. Giuseppe was not letting up, was not giving her a break and she felt like she was beginning to break down. This had not been what she wanted at all and when he slipped back, Maria jerked her hands away from his and shoved them into her lap. Her odd colored eyes glared unhappily forward and at her husband. "Ho inteso vedere ciò che era oltre il pacco che abbiamo unito. Non sono andato lontano. Ma sono caduto ed un pacco mi ha portato, è occupato di me finché potrei camminare e ho lasciato quando mi hanno detto non a appena così potrei ritornare a mio figlio," she spat in his direction. She made sure to say her son rather than their son because Maria didn’t feel like he cared anymore, making him the victim when he ha dno idea what she went through during this process.
"Il Beppe è un ragazzo forte. Un uomo forte. Ho lasciato il pacco che ha ricevuto me prima che mi hanno detto dovrei. Ho sofferto per ritornare a lui," she added. Her hand dropped to touch her thigh, where she had broken her leg, and turned her gaze. In a fit of anger, however, she stood up quickly to get away from him. "Lei non ha idea che sono passato attraverso. Che ho sentito. Lei neanche si preoccupa," she said in anger, this time turning away from him and walking off.
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[html] minor powerplay D:
Giuseppe had always had quick reflexes. Maria rose and turned away, and his anger flared like fire in the wind. She'd hardly gone a step or two before he grabbed her by the upper arm and half-turned her to face him. "Lei ha qualunque idea che sono passato attraverso?" he hissed at her, turning her own words and flinging them back in her face. "Lei entramba la sinistra. Andato. Non ci non era niente; nessuna parola, nessuna lettera, niente. Che ero supposto per pensare?" His temper twisted and rose as his voice rages with quiet intensity. Shouting had never been his style; but his tone was still a fearsome thing. The serpent in his voice quieted now though, the rage run its course as it was replaced with another, stronger emotion. "Dio Maria buono, ho pensato l'avevo persa entrambi."
He cared. He always had cared, though perhaps he had never been the best at expressing it. The men of his household were not exactly schooled in the ways of empathy and sensitivity. Giuseppe's upbringing had been rough-and-tumble, where loyalty played a greater role than affection. The last few months had changed him somewhat, although probably not enough to satisfy Maria's needs. He could comprehend what she and Beppe went through but still be blind to the depths of her emotions.
Giuseppe let his hand drop, afraid he'd hurt her more in his blind anger. He felt ashamed for having grabbed her, she whom he'd sworn to let no harm come (and some job of that he'd been doing, lately). It was his turn to look away and sigh, afraid he'd gone to far. When his next question came, the venom was gone from his voice. Tenderness and concern might have replaced it, buried beneath a thousand layers of gruffness. "Come lei ha doluto la sua gamba?" [/html]
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She half expected him to get up but had not expected the extra movement from him. The jerk surprised her and she yelped, half worried by his actions. The way she twisted made her leg ache and cry out against her movements but for a moment, it did not exist, and she stared at Giuseppe instead. His round of emotion made her shake her gaze and find something else to look at. He was back to himself again and how he was the one whom been affected but she was tired of arguing about it. Just as he let his hand drop, she jerked her arm away from him and stepped back and out of reach of the large male to keep her distance. Maria had never been afraid of him but after pulling her back like that, she didn't know what else he was capable of.
She was quiet for a long moment after his final question. Everything changed about him but she was still concerned on his anger, trying to pull away from that too answer. Her arms reached up to cross over her chest. Just thinking about the incident made shivers run down her spine and her squirm in place. "Pioveva e ho scivolato da una scogliera," she said in a quiet voice.
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Maria's arms crossed protectively over her chest and Giuseppe stood utterly still, as if any movement from him would set her a-running. He did wince when she spoke of slipping on a cliff, an instinctive reflex at the thought of it. A thousand things ran through his mind, a thousand things he ought to say and ought not to do, a thousand fears of loss. For a while, he found he could say nothing. He still had a question or two, but was afraid that further inquiry would push her away from him forever. And so finally he said simply, "Sono spiacente." For what? The answer was ambiguous; for everything, for nothing; for hurting her, for not being able to understand. An imploring look skittled its way onto his features, but he found he could not bring himself to meet her gaze. [/html]
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Giuseppe’s apology made her look up and search his face. He had turned away from her and Maria reached out, stepping closer, to lift his muzzle to face her. "Mi sono così," she said, dropping her hands to touch his fore-arms. She felt it had taken him a lot to apologize to her for whatever reason, leaving her to fill in why he was sorry, but regardless it was the effort. She declared both of them being selfish in this situation, whereas back in Italy she would put all the blame on herself, but now she was defined and more of her own person. Someone else was just sharing with her. "Era il choc culturale quando abbiamo preso qui... non era facile," she said, pulling him close to her. "Ma lei è qui adesso, giusto? Siamo insieme. Lei è l'un amo. Lei dovrebbe sapere che io non la dorrebbe mai ciò ama, non apposta," she finished, falling quiet. She had suffered without him and realized she could also live without him, but it had been hard. And to be together again and to fight had hurt her all the same. She wrapped her arms around his neck to draw him close, not wanting to let him go. She just wanted to heal, wanted to move on, and begin her family again.
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They were each of them changed. Giuseppe might be blind to the subtleties of the alterations of their personalities in the months they were away, but even he could sense a difference. Maria appeared to have gained a backbone and their arguments were no longer largely one-sided. How oddly fitting that he had discovered how much he needed her; enough to curb his blindly rampaging personality. Between the two of them, they might learn the art of compromising, the blessing and curse of diplomats everywhere. In any case, the two of them had the potential to grow together, which was a somewhat healthier relationship style than they'd practiced before. Here, they might begin anew... even if that new beginning was somewhat more than they'd bargained for.
For all the subtleties that were lost on Giuseppe, he understood the nearness of her body that followed their quasi-reconciliation. He firmly but gently wrapped his arms around her as she pulled him near. "L'amo anche, Maria. Appena non partirmi ancora. Non mai." His own insecurities came out, the probable cause of the argument in the first place. He hadn't been sure of her love, and had lashed out in the only way he knew how. Communication of emotions wasn't exactly his strong suit. "Era cattivo quando lei ha lasciato. L'ho mancata e Beppe così molto..." His voice was quiet now, scarcely above a whisper. He pulled Maria closer -- or was she pulling him? -- searching her face as he did so. Still, the motion was extremely hesitant, as if he was a newcomer to the dance between lover and loved. Giuseppe's face came to rest mere centimeters from hers, waiting. [/html]
Done?
Maria didn't have anything else to say. They had a feud and worked it out, for now, and she hoped that was good enough. She wanted things to be like they once were and they could be happy. She knew it would be tense for a while and maybe they could work together to fix things, as a family again. She simply nodded, though, in response to his statement and she nuzzle into his muzzle that she missed him as well. Maria had no words for this and she leaned in close to hold him, her arms tightly around his neck. She pulled away and laced her fingers in his hand to walk with her back to the house.
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