In a forest

[Raymo]

With slow passens Raymo was walking in a friendly attitude, in a big and living forest. He lifted his paws gently and with each step he felted the sweet and soft grass under his paws and claws. He heard the birds singing and raymo saw some bunnies and anther little forest animals running from him.
When they spotted him. The just run for there lives. Lucky for them that he wasn't hungry today. But it was fun too see them running that made him laugh. He was a bit thirsty ,Hopefully i will find some water soon. Thought raymo by himself. when he continued his walk throw the forest. Not so long when he thought that.
Raymo notice a sounds of water near by that was falling from a great height. That meant he must by close too a waterfall. He was a bit thirsting from the long walk throw the forest and grassfields.
He slowly lower his walking pas. Too see where he was and where the waterfall was. Raymo had a little smile on his face. Around too see where the sounds where coming from.
Its was really a nice day the sun was shinning and a little summer breeze that was playing with his fur. But it was a bit warm today.
Raymo toke a deep breath en smelled fresh water not far from him. He make a left turn and went throw some Busch and fond a pool of fresh water with a waterfall close by. When Raymo was at the edge of the stream of the pool. He lowered his head and take some swallows of water.
When he had enough he take a jump from the edge and toke a dive into the water. it was a bit warm today so a nice cool swim was more then welcome and earned today. Raymo swimmed a few baths and went a few times underwater before he went on the land again. Raymo shaked the water of his dripping body and fur. after he was done. Raymo walked too a tree too lay down in the shadow too rest a little bit.

['Souls Mentors]

Hey Vincent! Your writing is starting to get better! You still have some common, general errors that need a bit of work, though.

Here is a useful page for learning the differences between "to", "too", and "two". It's easy to get them confused when you are first learning.

This is another good website for learning English. It has lots of pages of info on just about everything in the language.

I mentioned this one before, but this page of the RP Guide is really helpful for beginning to improve your writing!

Below I have included a quick review of your post, with corrected items shown in bold, and a description of how to fix it beneath.

For the most part, though, you really just need to pay closer attention to your writing. Re-reading your posts before you submit them is a really good way to catch many of these errors.

With slow passens Raymo was walking in a friendly attitude, in a big and living forest.

Passens: Did you mean paces here? Also, it is grammatically sound to say "in a ____ attitiude" but it's more common to hear people say "with a ____ attitude."

He lifted his paws gently and with each step he felted the sweet and soft grass under his paws and claws.

Felted: Felt would be correct here. Feel is one of those many awkward, irregular verbs in English. Feel/feels/felt.

He heard the birds singing and raymo saw some bunnies and anther little forest animals running from him.

Other?

When they spotted him. The just run for there lives.

"When they spotted him, they just ran for their lives."

"When they spotted him" by itself is a sentence fragment, or an incomplete thought. While these aren't always incorrect, in this case it is incorrect. Here's a tip for you, from the site I linked: "One way to recognize sentence fragments is to learn which words often signal phrases or incomplete thoughts: although, because, especially, even, except, for example, if, including, instead of, so that, since, such as, that, which, who, and when. Not all sentence fragments have such tip-off words, but when you see a sentence beginning with one of these words, you should check to see if it's a complete thought. "

But it was fun too see them running that made him laugh.

To/too/two are often confused -- try to make sure you have the right one. You make the same mistake a few other places, too:

Too see where he was and where the waterfall was.

Around too see where the sounds where coming from.

He was a bit thirsty ,Hopefully i will find some water soon. Thought raymo by himself. when he continued his walk throw the forest.

Okay, here it gets a little rough. I have corrected it for you:

He was a bit thirsty. Hopefully, I will find some water soon, thought Raymo to himself as he continued his walk through the forest.

When a character thinks to themselves, you should treat it almost like dialogue. For example, if there is a word like "thought" after the character's thought to indicate that they are thinking to themselves, you should end the thought with a comma. For example:

Wow, these mountains are really tall, thought the coyote to himself as he continued to trek up the side of the peak.

Also, through/throw are sometimes confused -- when you throw something, you heave it from your hand and send it into the air. When you go through something, you pass in one side and out the other. You've also made this mistake a few times.

I also notice you using "en" instead of "and" on occasion:

Raymo toke a deep breath en smelled fresh water not far from him.

Should be:

Raymo took a deep breath and smelled fresh water not far from him.

Basically -- try to re-read over your post. If you think something sounds awkward or off, try to re-word it yourself, and use grammar references as often as you can. :3

IN CHARACTER

[html]

It had been nearly a full day since he had eaten, and so Enlil was quite hungry. Through the forest he moved, quickly and deliberately; one hand carried a fishing spear. The other hand moved to his stomach to silence it's growls for food; the river was nearby, surely he could find some tasty fish there. The rust-colored Optime man was on a mission.

The trip to the river wouldn't take long, despite being slower on two legs than four. It didn't matter much to Enlil; he enjoyed the walk, most days. The air was cool, and as he neared the river, the scent on the breeze became more marine. The reddish wolf moved his head into the wind to catch something else on it. There was a strange smell there; unfamiliar, but definitely canine. Silent, Enlil changed course slightly to move towards the nearby waterfall. He couldn't fish too well here, with all of the moving water, but it certainly was a nice place to relax.

Relaxing must have been what was on the stranger's mind, because there beneath a tree lay the source of the scent that had caught Enlil's attention. A ruddy brown and creme hybrid of some sort, curled in the shadow. He looked mostly dog, but Enlil couldn't be sure from the distance. The stranger's fur was clearly damp, though; someone had enjoyed the water.

Not wanting to disturb the sleeping man, Enlil instead moved quietly around him, golden eyes alert and keeping watch of the stranger. His gaze fell to the water, and he lowered his spear towards the surface, peering in intently. Perhaps he might find prey here despite the falls.

[/html]

[Raymo]

Raymo was enjoining the shadow where he was lying in and was getting a bit tired. He notice the he eye’s slowly getting heavier before he felt too sleep. Hes chest went slowly up and down when he breathed in and out but it didn't take long before Raymo had company from a other canine. His nose slowly picked up the sent of the stranger that was visiting him.
When the visitor had turned his back too him and went too the water to go fishing. Raymo slowly op ended his eyes and looked around. Raymo looked a bit lost around, too see what has made him awake. When he notice the sent and spotted the rust colored-Optime. Raymo stared had him for a bit and guessed that he must have smelled him or have heard him. Whent he whent by.
He was fishing and he looked friendly and it was a long time for Raymo that he had somebody too talk. Raymo lifted his body from the ground. A bit careful Raymo approach the canine that had a spear in his hand. Why go fishing when you can go on hunting. Raymo thought. ‘Hi there.’ He said when he was close by, and looked at the Optime. Raymo lowered his tail a bit.
‘Did you made that spear?’ Raymo was a bit confused about this. Why use a spear when you have strong claws and sharp teeth. But that was his thought the Optime looked a bit hungry. Raymo look over the water and saw some fish in the water. but they we just little one's not enough too feed a canine like him or the other one, that is with him now.

['Souls Mentors]

So sorry for the wait!

I notice you are often using "he" and "he's" in place of the proper word, "his". When you say "his", you are implying something that belongs to him (Raymo); i.e. his eyes, his fur.

You're still confusing "to" and "too" a lot, but this will be refined with practice, I'm sure. You're also confusing "sent" and "scent". When you "send" something, it goes away from you. When you use your nose to smell something, the thing you smell is a "scent".

I also notce you used a past temse word in your dialogie. You wrote, "Did you made that spear?". But it should be, "Did you make that spear?". Dialogue should be spoken as if it is happening right now (in otherwords, how you would normally talk).

I've made some more corrections below.

You have written:

Raymo was enjoining the shadow where he was lying in and was getting a bit tired. He notice the he eye’s slowly getting heavier before he felt too sleep.

It should be:

Raymo was enjoying the shadow where he was laying in and was getting a bit tired. He noticed the he eye’s that his eyes were slowly getting heavier before he felt too sleep fell asleep.

Technically, you could say "fell to sleep", I suppose, but it is much more common to say "fell asleep".

Next:

Raymo looked a bit lost around, too see what has made him awake. When he notice the sent and spotted the rust colored-Optime.

One main problem here is that these two sentences could be combined into one. While the grammar you were trying for here is not comepletely wrong, it is a little wonky. I've corrected it below.

Raymo looked around, a bit lost, to see what had woken him when he noticed the strange scent and spotted the rust-colored Optime.

.

I notice that you're also using periods to separate sentences instead of commas sometimes, like here:

‘Hi there.’ He said when he was close by, and looked at the Optime. Raymo lowered his tail a bit.

It will flow more smoothly if you use a comma to separate these ideas, like this:

"Hi there," Raymo said when he was close, looking at the Optime man and lowering his tail a bit.

If you read each sentence individually, it should be able to make sense alone. When you're reading through posts, try to note the positions of the punctuations; commas denote a short pause in a sentence, while periods denote a complete stop.

You're doing a good job keeping your character's thoughts, actions, and speech seperate, though, which is great. I don't mean to discourage you, by any means; you have done a great job so far learning the language. It takes a lot of patience to refine your English writing skills, even as a native speaker.

IN CHARACTER

Enlil was quickly becoming discouraged by the small numbers of fish in this pool; he would have to move farther downstream to find anything worthy of a meal. Downstream had been the wolf's original destination, anyway, before he'd become distracted by the sleeping earth-colored stranger. Gold eyes stared hard into the water, attention fully focused on the moving shapes beneath. With a quick, powerful thrust, his arm flung the spear into the water, but struck nothing. With a sigh, Enlil turned from the water's edge, ready to move on.

In his focus, he must not have heard the stranger awake, for when Enlil turned, the hybrid was standing several feet from him. "Hi there," came the stranger's simple greeting, and Enlil stopped and straightened, smile spreading across his face. At least his company was awake now. "Hello! I'm sorry if I've woken you," he apologized, waving a hand. It hadn't been his intent to disturb the man's slumber.

Tanned paws still held the spear tight, and as the stranger questioned it, Enlil's eyes swerved to examine the object closer. No, he hadn't made it, though he'd wondered who had. Enlil probably could have easily made the simplest form of the tool himself, but this one was a bit nicer. It was hand-carved, with intricate little designs throughout the handle, and a deadly stone tip. Hefting the weapon vaguely into the air, he shrugged. "No, I did not; I'm not very patient with wood," he admitted.

Honey gaze fell between the stranger and his resting place, admiring his choice for a napping station. The clouds were not threatening today, and the temperature was quite bearable. "Nice weather for a nap, isn't it?" Enlil asked with a grin, lowering the spear to a more comfortable, less threatening position. Perhaps after his meal, he could use a nap, too.

[Raymo]

Raymo felt a bit threatened by Optime. That stands before him he was a lot biger than him. And then with a spear in his claws but he had something friendly that calmed him a bit down. With a peaceful look on Raymos face. Raymo looked at the spear, it was handmade. It had little designs throughout the handle of the spear and a Sharp and deadly stone tip. The unknown then turned to him and a smile spread on his face and he apologized. for the fact he had woke him up, Raymo grin at hem and said. ‘It’s oke. I am glad you did, else i have waste a nice day.’

And he took a less threatening position, and admitted that he was not very patient with wood. Raymo friendly nodded and smiled and with a grin he said. ’Nice weather for a nap, is not it?’ Raymo glanced at the sky for a moment, and nodded in agreement it was. "Yes it is the weather is nice and the temperature is bearable." Raymo Said with a smile. "Any luck with the fish?" And turned his gaze on the water and the waterfalls for a short moment, then Raymo turned his gaze back to the stranger in front of him