Killing ourselves for convenience

Tayui Aston · 06-25-2011, 04:58 PM

Located in Borgata Tenzontli. Set at about noon.

Tayui had been a member of Salsola for a few months now, but still had not completely met Sirius. True, she had really only joined the pack out of boredom and perhaps a twisted desire to follow Eris, but she supposed she could not be faulted for her poor reasoning. The pack itself did not promote the best of morals, so her reason for joining was as good as any, especially considering the company she kept.

Though, even that was a joke: she kept no company and she interacted with no one. She was again a social recluse, just like she had been in the early days of Jaded Shadows. Though, unlike Jaded Shadows, she didn’t think she would eventually prove herself here. She had nothing to prove to these pimps and queens and criminal queers. She was here for revenge and discovery, but she had been quite slow acquiring either of those things. She didn’t even know why she bothered to stay: she was not necessary or needed and she hardly spoke to anyone. She spent her days watching birds and reading books. She supposed she could always try to demonstrate her worth to someone, but there was no one watching.

Staring west into the calm waters, Tayui considered how she had destroyed her life and alienated herself from everyone she loved. She supposed even that Hybrid fellow had more loved ones and friends than she. Perhaps if she wandered back to Inferni, she could finally end this silly charade and move on to be with her family. She didn’t want to laugh, but she did anyways since the thought was so absurd. She let her chuckles subside slowly and her expression eventually gave way to a scowl. These parts of the pack were too beautiful and too green, with the occasional shrub and withered tree. It was too good for her.

Sirius Revlis · 06-26-2011, 10:49 AM

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ooc: you make me happy by choosing a Borgata <3

There was little that needed doing on a mild day such a this one, but complacency only made the Thistle King irritable. Perhaps he harbored an avid fear of laziness - A fear of staying too still, or of thinking too deeply, and maybe loosing himself within the confines of such stillness and depth. However, there was something to be said for Salsola's benefit from such a quality; The mafia pack flourished, a weed that grew strong amongst the brittle and cold landscape of Drifter Bay.

Much had required his attention in the first few months of life, as the pack struggled for normalcy and for power within its hazardous realm of marsh and bitter ocean. The puppeteer had made them all dance to his tune, each of the Chosen, and from such efforts had blossomed a worthy kingdom. A strange lull had now taken over the land of Sirius Revlis, and while its presence hinted at rest and stability, it stirred a loathing within the Boss.

The Ruins were empty, but for a warm breeze that moaned through the rotting carcass of the castle. Having left the skeletal remains of the one magnificent human artifact behind, Sirius planned to use this spare time thoroughly. While he had become well accustomed to the desolately beautiful wilderness that formed the Eastern Borgatas, those of the West had been rarely traversed, and he intended to seek out their secrets. As always, the pride that came with owning the land on which he walked resonated in the man's stride. The Revlis stuck to his two-legged form, clinging to the sense of dignity and civility it brought, and also sparing time to carve etchings of Salsola's insignia into random trees he passed.

It was near to the Western ocean that he heard the sound - Laughter, perhaps, but the sort that made hairs prickle on one's nape. Requiring nothing more than this distraction, the Thistle King was quick to find the source of such sound, and with it, surprise.

He had seen Tayui infrequently. She had been there at the founding time, hidden like an ivory wraith amongst those who had been selected to become a part of his royal and wicked Family. However, unlike the others, Tayui herself had not been 'chosen' - It seemed, instead, that she had chosen them. Since that time the woman had been little more than a ghost, a thought or a name that barely crossed his cunning mind. Olive eyes, laced with a ferocious and canny intelligence that she would not have seen in his youth, looked curiously to the Lady. He made no effort to disguise the sound of his approach; Although he had become a suspicious creature by nature, Tayui evaded the Revlis man's keen sense of paranoia. He did, however, remain tenaciously wary.

"Tayui," The woman's name was offered in greeting, although he made no further move to approach; Although presumptuous, it was clear that he had discovered her through no will of her own, and one's privacy was indeed something sacred to the Salsolans. However, it was expected that she would come to him, and nuzzle him as the culture of her pack demanded - Perhaps the woman had abstracted herself so much that she knew not even the ways of her own pack. His pupils narrowed, and a smile haunted the Thistle King's maw, although it projected no warmth nor unnecessary joy. She was unpredictable and new to him now, not the creature he had memories of from Shadowed Sun - and that made her, in some ways, dangerous.

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Tayui Aston · 06-27-2011, 09:53 PM

Oh, I am glad! Smile

(302).

She heard a creature approach from the sounds, and although her instinct screamed at her to whip her head around to determine who it was, she managed to compose herself just enough to turn her head slowly and respectfully. She didn’t know how much the second part of that thought was a ruse when she felt so bored with packs and the lives they led here, but she could at least play the part. She could pretend, though, it was a thought and experience she was still adapting to. She had lived her life without thought to what she said, and suddenly, it mattered more than she cared to acknowledge. But she had never been one to lie to herself, so it was high time she acknowledged that she had been a naïve, fanciful fool.

With that in mind, she felt a small smile ghost her features as she took in who stood before her. Sirius, the supposed leader of this pack, was standing prim and proper like a good soldier boy. She supposed it was hard to see him as anything more than Deirdre’s boy and Apollo’s brother. Pilot’s son, her friend, so by extension, she should feel something for him: a connection. She only felts waves of apathy tugging at her smile and demanding she free herself from this suffocating lie.

Ever aware that canine hierarchy was more strictly observed in Salsola, Tayui greeted Sirius the traditional way: she dipped her head and then licked the underside of his muzzle.

“Sirius,” she murmured almost demurely. If only. She didn’t want to be the one asking the questions, so she didn’t. She took a small step back to let him begin. If he was the one who approached her demanding an audience, he was the one who had questions; not her.

Sirius Revlis · 06-30-2011, 08:45 PM

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ooc: <3

For a moment, it seemed the woman would merely gaze blankly at him. But then she rose, as graceful as he remembered, and greeted the Thistle King in the manner with which he had become accustomed to being greeted. However, Sirius was no fool, and did not allow his arrogance to blind him - There was a hollowness to her gaze that spoke of no loyalty or admiration. The total apathy there was somewhat chilling, and as she retreated a step with only the whisper of his name, his mineral olive eyes followed closely. The Revlis man frowned.

"You sit alone so often," It was not a question, but more a musing statement of the obvious, as his wickedly quick mind sought to contain and eliminate reasons for the ivory woman's transformation. As he thought, he moved to walk about her in a loose circle, seeking to light up the buried memories that flickered behind his eyelids at the sight of the Aston woman.

She had been a friend of his father - father no longer, for Sirius was not deceived in childish pretense, and had long since realized that his bloodline no longer lay with Apollo's. The Hadden blood had never warmed his veins, for in its place was the blue blood of a maddened prince, one that he had never known and perhaps never would.

Regardless, his memories of Shadowed Sun were surprisingly pleasant, if faded. It had been quite some time since Sirius had allowed himself to dwell on his past - Ever since his return to this land, it had seemed little more than a dream. The innocent creature he had been back then had evolved, adapted to survive the harsher world beyond fragile childish daydreams. Due to his coyote blood, he had never been as proficient in size, weight and strength as others; Thus, his mind had been the key, and it had served him well. Even now, it formed memories of Tayui, both pleasant and abstract.

Finished with his pacing, the man stopped to gaze out at the ocean, as she had been doing before his disturbance. "I told you once that I wanted to be a secret agent," Black lips lifted in a mirthless, dry smile, and his gaze was flinty and hard as it returned to the ivory woman. The child that Sirius had been was clearly no longer, and the same went for the Tayui he vaguely remembered. "Things change, it seems."

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Tayui Aston · 06-30-2011, 11:50 PM

They were two predators watching one another with the precision of a raptor. Tayui could feel his gaze weighing heavily on her. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but he had a very stern expression. As she stepped back, he frowned and then spoke quickly. He commented on her recent anti-social behaviour and for a moment, Tayui wanted to chuckle in reply. Yes, of course she often ate alone when she had none with whom to eat. One ate with friends when one had friends and one made friends by eating with them. Clearly, there was a paradox inherent in the structure of the system. No matter; she didn’t feel particularly obligated to befriend anyone here.

“Does that violate some sort of custom here, Sirius?” she replied. She wasn’t sure how that had come off – perhaps a bit cold and lacking in emotion, but to her, it was a fine humorous jab. She just hoped he had a sense of humour. The boy she had once known had turned inside himself and produced the most rotten results. It wasn’t that she disliked or despised him or even looked down upon him; it was just that whatever he had been had been so much more real than he was now. He was just a boy playing dress up.

Of course, when Sirius brought that up, Tayui couldn’t help but smile. Yes, he had been so much more honest and real then. He had been full of life. She didn’t like this new Sirius, whoever he was.

“We change ourselves. We condition ourselves into becoming creatures of habit.” We force ourselves to become things we should not be.

Sirius Revlis · 07-01-2011, 06:57 AM

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She was clearly not intimidated by his presence. While that might have pleased the Thistle King in some mannerisms, for he detested yes-men and spineless fools alike, it also served to put him on guard. Her tones spoke of a lack of respect, and such a thing often lead to mutiny. Furthermore, Sirius felt contempt for lowering himself to be judged once more, especially by a gaze so hollow and listless as hers. The tall, dark-haired man had proven himself again and again, and still it seemed there were disbelievers. The wicked scars over his right pectoral marked him as a bearslayer, and the intelligence in his gaze that sometimes bordered on a fanatic madness was sheer proof to most individuals. Had Tayui not been a valuable, intriguing individual, and a ghost from the Boss' past, perhaps he would have had her punished for her general disconnection out of sheer mistrust.

But such was not the case. For while the Aston woman did not seem to project any respect for him, deep within, the Thistle King held it for her. It was difficult indeed to deserve a place of such esteem within the Hunter's mind, for he was a canny sort, more interested in the value and worth of a being than their actual characteristics. Such had proven visible in his acceptance of the man-child Bastion, a creature whose personal affections and actions repulsed the leader, but whose 'special' talents far outweighed these petty dislikes.

Perhaps she thought him wicked, then. At the woman's dry humor, black lips curved up in a smile, eyes lingering on her thoughtfully. No response was given for this, for while she may have voiced it in brittle jest, there was a sinister truth underlying. The twisted laws of Salsola provided means for what she joked of - Sirius had the ability to punish one for breathing too heavily, if he so wished. But while he was vain, and perhaps powerhungry, the Revlis man had no cruel fetishes as did so many of the madmen to have passed through these lands. His was not a reign of blood and slaughter, a satanic desire for pain and suffering - Each act of wickedness had purpose, had a design to better the strength and standing of Salsola. The slaves were practical objects, and while some might loath their presence, to the Thistle King they were little more than tools.

When had he become so hollow? The frown returned, but it was directed inward, not at Tayui. Her words echoed with sudden wisdom in his head - Refreshing wisdom. While Eris was Queen of this land, she new little of ruling, of the deep mannerisms of the soul, of the character it took to lead. She would learn, and even now was learning, but her voice was not the advising one he needed. "The truth of that statement is chilling," His voice, smooth tenor that poured from a serpent's silver tongue, filled the silence with its drawl. Arms crossed over his chest, partially hiding the scars there from view. "But you voice it as a eulogy, my dear. Conditioning is not necessary a bad thing. It helps us adapt - Helps us survive." It had been so long since he had had a civil conversation, and while the Thistle King longed for one, he was restrained by his mistrust of the ivory Lady.

The soft roar of the ocean echoed his voice momentarily, as hard eyes resumed their keen observation of the beautiful Aston woman. For a moment, sadness flickered in their cold, flat depths, but it was swallowed swiftly by calm resoluteness once more. "Why are you here, Tayui?" The question was voiced softly, laced with curiosity and suspicion. The woman he remembered had been vibrant, full of life and love - How had she found herself within the clutches of his Thistle Kingdom?

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Tayui Aston · 07-02-2011, 02:50 PM

390.

When Sirius replied, Tayui knew immediately what to say in response. She considered his tone, how his voice lowered and how his gaze was suddenly more focused. His eyes snapped to Tayui’s and she found herself again thinking that they were two raptors. They were both predators, though; she suspected Sirius had a greater perchance for cruelty. She glanced at his hands as he crossed his arms across his chest and then returned her gaze to his visage. Olive green eyes.

“Of course it is,” Tayui replied calmly. She did not mean to antagonize, but merely demonstrate how something could be inherently correct. “It is the truth that shocks and chills, but lies are what console. The truth is often the last thing one wants to hear.” Perhaps that was why she thrived on knowledge and why Shadowed Sun had never flourish. Rarely did others want to advance themselves or their knowledge and when they were given the opportunity to know the truth, they shied away, thinking that if ignorance was bliss, then perhaps they should continue on their honeymoon. Tayui had never believed it, and with no reason to improve herself and continue learning, she had grown jaded and bitter.

“It may just be. You may think I give praise, but I only wish it were something dead. Like a eulogy should be.” She didn’t know if she should continue. She couldn’t trust him and that was why she felt so little. She needed to know she could trust her leader when she herself had been one, once. He did not imbue any sense of pride in her. She was here for a practical reason: to destroy herself more thoroughly than she could have in Anathema.

“I am here to destroy myself,” she replied, voicing it as exactly as she had thought to herself. “I was bound by monotony and needed to return to my birthright. We’re creatures of chaos, not of habituality. When we degrade ourselves to such repetition, we die.” She couldn’t say that she didn’t want to die, but she didn’t want to be bored. She had no real reason for why she was here: she existed and would continue existing for an indefinite time. She didn’t know what happened after death, but she knew she would continue to live in others’ memories, making her eternal.

Sirius Revlis · 07-03-2011, 11:31 PM

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The woman seemed vague, unaware of how brashly she spoke. A slave had been silenced, his tongue removed from his mouth by Sirius' blade, for far less than the blatant disagreement with which the Aston woman spoke. But she was no slave, and the more she voiced these deep dark truths, the more Sirius found himself thoughtfully lenient toward them. It had been a while since any had dared speak so bluntly, or so eloquently, to him, and although sinister it was indeed refreshing.

His narrowed pupils sucked her in, drawing hazardously over the woman's features, seeking emotion to prove her motivation for voicing the words and intent she did. He found nothing, and was left searching.

Perhaps an individual could draw similarities between the two of them. They both seemed to be heartless creatures, flat and cold on the surface, deep and brittle within. But each had a different catalyst for the way they came to be - While Tayui was jaded and bitter, Sirius was simply wicked. Sharp yellowed teeth glinted in a hollow crocodile smile as the ivory woman finished her words, leaving him with much to consider.

For a moment, he dwelled in silence, hungry eyes vapid with feverish intelligence as they observed her. There was nothing left but the outer shell of the woman he so foggily remembered, she who had been full and brimming with foolish and optimistic emotions. The world seemed to have wizened her up, as it had him. But while he may have appreciated the unveiled truth in her statement, it was also cause for much dismay. "You come to my home, in an effort to lose yourself?" She had said destroy, but that was a word that ended in fatality, and not one he sought to employ. "No... To find yourself, perhaps. You speak of our barbaric nature, as though it was what you craved all along, darling Tayui," He mused, flickers of cold and dark humor lighting the silver slivers within venomous olive. "But what use is such a ruined creature to me? You are only a star that collapses upon itself. While brilliant, it would seem you seek little more than a fast and gruesome ending to your misery," His tongue rasped along sharp teeth, producing a contemplative hissing sound. Leaning into movement, the Thistle King began to prowl about the beautiful ivory woman in a slow circle. "Why waste your light? Adapt, Tayui. Let me help you exist again, free of this monotony you so despise. Adapt, and survive."

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Tayui Aston · 07-07-2011, 01:33 PM

592

She tried not to flinch as he looked at her and tried not to look too far away. She knew it was prudent not to meet his gaze and show him at least the respect she might show any canine, but she also understood that there was some sort of instinct borne from so many years ago deeply bred into this boy. She understood these things, but knew she could never voice them. She saw his teeth glint and felt a shudder run through her body. It wasn’t that he was looking at her in a sexual way, but he was regarding her with such concern to his own power. He knew who he was and Tayui understood her role here, too. There were no questions in her mind about who she had become or what she would be: she had re-created herself, but perhaps, not quite enough. She couldn’t just say she would become a monster: she had to become one. Words were useless until they became actions.

Sirius spoke quietly and with a strange frown. He sounded almost worried, or even sad, at what she had told him, but Tayui could not understand why. It had been her own prerogative to come here, and if her reasons dismayed him, then perhaps he was not as cruel as he thought he was.

As he continued, Tayui found herself frowning this time. She didn’t like his analogy: she was no useless star and she would not collapse onto herself. She didn’t like that he only spoke in riddles and expected her to return them in kind. She was no sphinx and he was not Oedipus; she had nothing to confer to him that was not plain and simple.

She watched as he circled her, prowling with his yellowed teeth shining. If he was trying to scare her, it was certainly working. She now understood the price for speaking the truth, and that he initial assessment was wholly correct: no one ever wanted to know the truth, not even the leader of this brutal pack. He had no need for it if he could just as easily control her minions with lies and gory promises.

“I have indeed adapted,” she replied slowly. “And I continue to do so. As I said, I have returned to chaos, where I belong. I am not confused, my boy,” she explained sweetly with a smile, “I know why I am here and I understand who I am. I seek no easy ending. If I wanted that, there are many easier solutions.” She had let herself become free from conditioning, the training, and the repetition, but Sirius only wanted to shackle her back to these old chains. He said so, using other words – adapt, survive – than she might have, but he could easily oversee a prison, the likes of which she had left behind many times before.

She wanted to say she was indeed of no use to him. She would not let herself be used by anyone, for she was free and she was herself. If he thought he could use her, or her skills in whatever ways he imagined, he was just another fool. She wanted to say so much more, but she figured it prudent to quiet down. Yes, this was why she had kept to herself and not drawn any attention: her freedom was in her loneliness, but so was her sadness. She craved the same social contact as many others might, but she understood she could not have this without losing her freedoms.

Sirius Revlis · 07-21-2011, 12:01 PM

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He was trying to understand, but struggling. There did not seem to be any greed or motivation behind her words - Having known only freedom, too much freedom, for his entire life, Sirius would never truly be able to comprehend the sense of claustrophobia the beautiful ivory woman felt within the packs she had lived in, and lived in now. He knew ownership - The slaves were testimony of that, beings that Salsola had fashioned into items, belongings, and nothing more. And it was true that his olive eyes measured those around him in worth. He had known a man in the ports of Freetown who traded such pathetic slaves for their value in other items. A beautiful woman like Tayui could be worth many sheep, or at least a good horse. But this was not a manner in which he could think of her, for unlike the slaves, she was not 'owned' by him, and nor would she ever be.

So many of them were willing to please that he had become accustomed to it, expectant of it. Nobody defied the Thistle King, not within the barbed chambers of his own kingdom. Was she defying him now? He could not be sure, and this was the cause of his struggle to understand. She was afraid of him. Sirius could smell the fear on her, could see in in the way she flinched from his cold, calculating gaze. This, too, confused him. He had been a boy once, a boy that she had spoken kindly to, and although the man had shed his skin and become serpentine and cunning, he had not forgotten the woman with the soft voice and the pretty smile. He did not seek to hurt her, nor would he. Why should she know fear?

The confusion irritated him, much like being denied a treat would irritate a spoiled child. The Thistle King was used to knowing all things within his realm, but she was an anomaly that even his genius mind could not comprehend - She was the answer to a question that he had not asked, did not know. What was she doing here? What was her purpose? Her response did not ease his growing agitation, and the man snarled silently, his narrowed pupils soaking her in. "Then what is it that you want, Tayui Aston, woman from my past?" Although he spoke in a soft tone, there was frustration evident, rippling through charming, husky voice. He stopped pacing, black lips hiding the sneer that sought to stretch across his face, leaving it surprisingly blank. "What would you have me do with you? Send you away? How can I trust you to be within my pack, if you do not accept a use here?"

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Tayui Aston · 07-26-2011, 06:44 PM

WC: 406

When he snarled, Tayui knew it was time to make her exit. Although he had been the one to approach her, she felt as though he should be the one to leave, she could not help but feel there was too much tension in this conversation. She did not join Salsola to seek stress or burden herself with concerns such as these, so she thought it would be best to leave the child-king to his own devices. She could not hear him snarl, but she could see how his body tensed up slightly, how his lips pulled back just enough to flash a bit of white, and how he stopped moving for a split second. She was glad for the warning, but was concerned of the consequences. She didn’t think she had said anything particularly controversial, but then, she supposed her comment about truthfulness and her gentle rejection of his analogy might have put him on edge. As they spoke, Tayui saw that his ego was just as big as Eris’. It would not do if she hurt his ego, for she suspected he was a truly prideful creature. While Tayui knew she was a prideful creature, they were two of a different species.

And of course, her words would have to be only half-truths, because as she had predicted, he could not bear the full explanation. Yes, she was here for many of her own daintily twisted reasons, but she did not expect him to understand. If anything, explaining why she was really here – to follow Eris, to continue spying on Hybrid, and to be honestly left alone where she could become who she needed to be – would only bring more trouble than it was worth. Besides, she had no reason to be following Eris like she did Hybrid. It would only raise questions and she had no answers.

“I don’t want anything, Sirius,” she replied calmly. “I am quite content with simply being who I am. I contribute to this pack like all the others: I attend the meetings and I participate in the suppers and the hunts. I am sorry if you feel otherwise.” She dipped her head, trying not to flinch when he sneered. “I I may, I would like to take my leave now. The afternoon sun is rather hot and I wouldn’t want you to get sick. If I may leave and let you continue you as you were, Sirius.”

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