Bliss was something she hadn’t experienced for the past two weeks; Teddy had been preforming admirably to keep her fat and happy, going as far as to help build a birthing bed in the corner. But something in her was screaming, she could feel it, something was wrong; it had started as a tickle at the back of her neck the first day. The next day the pain had started, since then during times when she could actually get up and out of bed she had been reading any and all things she could to figure out what was wrong. Some advice said nothing was wrong, some advice, she dared not think about. Today though she felt terrible, her body was a fire centering on the obvious belly she now carried. She was sick and she knew it, somehow she had contracted something with her weakened immune system and now she was just getting worse.
She leaned over the bed and threw up, bile slipping from her mouth but little else since her appetite had gone to nothing a week ago. Demi was burning up, having trouble breathing and she could only figure that she had contract Pneumonia. The goddess knew this wasn’t good, her body was already taxed and this was creating trouble, she feared for the babies in her stomach and feared for her own life too. At this stage in the pregnancy she was supposed to be gaining weight but her form looked thin and diseased. A few days ago she had made Teddy move out of the room, for fear he might contract what she had, needing him strong to care for her, even if she made him where an ill-fitting mask.
She swung her legs over the bed and onto the floor, head in her hands, tears flowing before the first searing pain struck her. Her little lithe frame staggered, a squeak escaping her lips before another overtook her again. Panting she stood staggering toward the birthing box. This was out of her control, her body was aborting them, the terrible thing about being a Doctor was knowing what she was going through. At least in some small part a women going through this without the knowledge of what was coming could still have some small hope but she couldn’t have any. These weren’t birthing pains, these where miscarriage pains, the body terminating the pregnancy to save itself. Some part of her, instinct seemed to impart some old wisdom that this was nature, to procreate the species she needed to remain alive, but her tears weren’t for her sake, but of the precious little babies that had to suffer because their mother wasn’t healthy enough to deliver them into this world.
Several more electric jolts shook her body, the contractions coming quickly before she screamed out meekly as the first of four lifeless bodies was pushed from her. It all happened very quickly since the need to deliver them safely had gone away, the need to save the mother coming before the children. And then it was over, her form exhausted, breathing haggard, the constant asthma sapping every bit of energy she had. Demi couldn’t even sit up to look at the lifeless children, she could only softly call out to the one person she knew she needed.
Something was very, very wrong. It had been getting worse for the past two weeks, that much was evident. She hadnt said anything at first, instead throwing herself towards books of medical advice. And the warrior male had become more and more anxious. She was wasting away, her appetite vanished despite his insistance that she eat. It was no good shouting at her- it was painfully obvious that she was ill. He'd continued with the preparations for the birth anyway, but it was with a sad and heavy heart that he knocked the last nail into place. It felt more like a coffin than a birthing pen. He didnt know what was going to happen, he was neither psychic or supernatural. It was a gut feeling that told him Demi was going to die soon. Either her or the children she carried. When she'd banished him from their room the male had protested heavily, but there was nothing else he could do but obey her commands. Feeling so helpless and afraid were things the black male was certainly not used to. He'd thrown himself into manual work, moving around the half finished stables and paddocks that were now in Matteo's care instead of his good friend Liev's. In a few short days the black male had finished up the paddock fencing, releasing the large herd of sheep that had been roaming the mountainside with little care for their own safety. The horses were still cooped up down in the dark- horses were a hot commodity these days it seemed. But he'd finished the large block of stables early that very same day. He found the manual labour good for switching off.
Hot from the work outside the dark male sought to cool interior of the howling caverns. It was then that a piercing scream echoed in the tunnels. His stomach leapt through his mouth to perhaps hit the floor, the fear moving him so deeply he was frozen for just a second. And then he took off, shifting to his rarely used lupus form to navigate the common room he had to pass through to get to her. He burst through the door as she called for him and he skidded to a halt beside her head. She looked so sick, so lifeless. He sat, white gloved hands stroking her face softly as he tried to pull her closer. As he tried to move her, her back end came into veiw and the four lifeless bundles covered in fluid on the floor. His stomach lurched once more, but he was lost for words. In the privacy of his own home, tears spilled over sparkling blue eyes as he looked from his mate to his dead children, unable to speak.
It seemed like a life time before she heard and smelled the familiar presence of her mate. Her limp body ached for his touch, and her eyes partially opened, with tears staining the fur below them. She had failed him, she wasn’t strong enough to bring his children into this world, and all she wanted to do was kill herself for it. A paw clutched at his arm, as she looked up at his face, seeing the tears on his face. What could she do, what could she do to ease his pain.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t strong enough” she squeaked out, words choked with grief, her body to sore to move and snuggle into his chest. This wasn’t supposed to be how it went; they were supposed to be parents now, where supposed to be a happy couple raising their children. The one thing she was supposed to do to make that happen she wasn’t able to do.
“I don’t know what else to do” she squeaked, trying to find some sense in it all. Demi was still too weak to move much but already the urge to clean herself, and some remaining motherly instincts telling her to move and remove the dead children where hard to overcome.
She looked so weak and fragile, laying there in a heap that didnt look exactly comfortable. He wondered if she could move, but he didnt want to pick her up just yet. Despite his need to have her against his fur, despite his desperation to hold her against him, so tight that she might accidently slip inside his own skin and stay nestled against his heart for a long time, he knew he couldnt move her. She was too fragile, too breakable. And what if she flipped out at him for trying to take her away from their dead children? No, it was better to stay here, with her clutching his arm and him gently stroking away the tears as they fell. His own tracked down his cheeks, dripping onto his chest. Her squeek made him start, a look of intense disagreement over his face, How dare she blame this on herself.
"Don't you dare Demi... Don't you dare blame yourself for this. You were sick, there was nothing that could be done."
He argued, although there was no malice or anger in his voice. It came out in an altogether more pleading tone as he tried to pull her just a little closer. And in that moment, he was sure the feeling was mutual, but he wanted nothing more than to crawl inside Demi and disappear. If they both did it, they would both be gone. Her helpless words caused his gut to twist and he looked at her, wishing beyound doubt that he knew what to do as well. But he didnt and he shook his head softly.
"I dont know either Demi... I don't know what to do."
He thought about calling for Naniko, but he knew the white woman would blame him for it. He hadnt looked after her properly, hadnt fed her enough, overfed her. He felt so wrong sitting there, not knowing what to do. Blue eyes settled on the four bundles of mucus and fluid on the floor, hurting deep down within him.
Just having him there seemed to be enough to comfort her. They where destined it seemed to never be happy. She just wanted a litter of puppies running around in their likeness, wanted to see how much he would grow up into the man she had only had glimpses of and now it was foiled. Demi cried silently, no moans escaping her, just tears running down her cheek. But Instinct again drove her actions as he form shook for a moment in the grips of a change, limps shortening and re-aligning to her lupus form, her stronger form. Instantly she felt more energy just from the shift but her eyes still looked up at him before feeling the coming urge again, letting nature do its own thing.
She stood, surging into his arms, nuzzling her head under his. Demi couldn’t explain the urge to shift, but could only reason that she would have if the puppies would have survived. Now though there was no reason to clean them, or make her birthing den clean, or dote over them, or to gain relief by having them drain the milk from her.
She licked his muzzle, the little wolf fitting easily in his strong arms, she couldn’t dwell so much on what had happened she reasoned, if she had died the children would have too, and Teddy would be left without her.
“We’ll try again love” she whispered, feeling stronger just being curled up in his arms.
He had no idea what to do. Numbness and helplessness came hand in hand as they sat there, Demi still partially in the birthing area that had now become the epitome of sorrow for the both of them. While his strong arms longed to hold her, to keep her safe, there was really nothing he could do. She crawled towards him and he wrapped himself around her. He buried his head in her fur, wincing when the decaying scent of their children hit him full on in the face. They weren't going to stay there for very long, that was certain for the male. He almost didnt notice Demi shifting in his arms until her paws touched him. He curled her tighter then, swinging his legs round so that he was no longer sat on them. He didnt need to be told that she was in more pain than he was, and she was still sick. So he held her softly, trying hard to stop the tears leaking down his cheeks. He was angry, rage filling his veins with roasting blood. But there was nothing he could do about it. Her weak voice came to him and he looked down at her softly. Despite just having miscarried a litter of puppies, the female was confident that they would try again.
"Not yet Demi, not yet."
He said softly, feeling the kiss on his muzzle only through a numbness. There was still something they needed to do. Much as he was loathe to move her, Teddy got up smoothely and carried her over to their bed. He lay her on top of it, stroking her head softly before he returned to their children. Grabbing a piece of clothing, he wasnt sure what, he carefully scooped the half-formed bundles up and wrapped them firmly in the cloth. They needed to be buried. He glanced over at Demi, inviting her outside if she wished to come. If not, he would call her when their grave was dug. Tucking the pile quietly into the crook of his arm, he bent and kissed her head softly, before exiting the den.
It took him only a few moments to get outside in the fresh air. It wasnt right to bury them right outside to entrance to their dens, that was no right at all. But higher up in the mountains their spirits would be free to roam as they wished. He climbed a little while away, before very carefully placing the bundle on the ground. He shifted down into his Secui form, thick claws attacking the earth with the rage he felt deep inside. He would bury his children, then he would return to the sick mother who was so weak right now.
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