A wing and a [p]rayer

Soran Aatte · 07-11-2011, 03:39 PM

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Private for Mati Smile

Set on the 13th if that's ok? (Sorry Soran's right up North, it's going to take her a few days to get down lol.)

pushitinThe early afternoon sun was not as harsh as it had been in the previous days, clouds lazily drifitng across the light blue sky, softening the bright light that was eminating from the sun. The bright orb was almost at it's peak in the afternoon sky now, finishing it's climb and readying itself for the inevitable descent again. A light breeze blew across the lands, brushing past the tall waving grass and bright wildflowers. All around the carpet of green, interspersed with bright purples, blues, reds and yellows seemed to dance and play with the light zephyrs that blew past them and all around them.It was an idyllic scene, small animals played through the grasses, nibbling at the leaves of the bright flowers as they passed them by. The air was cooler today, no wobbling lines of heat rising from the ground. The ebony lady could scarecely believe the difference two days walk made to the land, the far north had been so rocky and dusty, barren and without much vegetation. And now she was here, amongst the beautiful green, lush growth gently spotted with bright, bold colours.
pushitinSoran was here, in the area she believed they called Cottontail Valley, waiting at the northmost point of Crimson Dreams, pacing along the border, just outside it of course. There was a lot of animosity amongst her family at the moment, there was something Naniko wasn't telling her, but from the way Haven had reacted to his grandmother's very presence she could guess that what had transpired would not have been pleasant. This is why she would not cross the border, she had lived here once, walked these lands without any fear or trepidation. But now she was unsure, she had come here to see if Conri was here, perhaps he had been allowed back into the lands, if the obsidian fae had learned anything of the wolves in the 'Soul's lands it was that they were forgiving and that none of them were perfect, they had all made mistakes, not perhaps as horrendous as Conri's crimes, but there may have been a chance that they had forgiven him, taken him back in. Or perhaps they didn't know what he had done, perhaps, just perhaps he had chosen to stay in a familiar area. It was a long shot, the dark lady knew that, but it was all the hope she had, perhaps Dhalia or Khaden had gone to stay there, or Brooklyn, Salem or Mati, any of them, perhaps there would be someone there who Soran could start to try and build bridges with.
pushitinHer thoughts wandered over her family, Conri, her first born, Dhalia and Khaden, one so much like her father, his red fur and unstable personality, the other so much like herself, her green eyes and black fur, she hoped that he was like her in personality as well, but maybe stronger, much better able to cope with hardships that the dark female had found herself unable to face. Her mind rested on her grandchildren, she had already seen Haven, he had grown into such a handsome male, and he had children of his own, little bundles of delight, Soran hoped beyond all things that he would allow her to see them regularly, she wanted someone to think of her fondly, and she wasn't sure that any of her children or grandchildren did that. The dark fae stretched her long arms out above her head, brushing her curled mane out of her jade eyes, hands moving down playing with the pentagram necklace and her flint necklace that rested at her dark throat, it was a nervous habit. She was tense, full of optomism but also fear that she wouldn't find anyone here, or worse, that she would, and that they would chase her from the lands, never wanting to see her again. She wasn't sure that she could take such heartache.

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Mati Church · 07-14-2011, 09:52 AM

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hi, thanks for starting Smile

It had been hard for her to leave her room, let alone the Manor's safe walls. But the woman was feeling lighter, travels to and from her home were easier now. There had been no sign of the loner, and she was glad for it. The tall woman was strong, she had come to realize, and more able then she had once thought. Last winter she had battled the snowstorm that had trapped she and two others in the Skip caves, and she had made it home. The purple eyed woman needed to remember that, and how she could indeed over come. The tussle with the gray wolf was nothing she need to be afraid would happen again, and Mati would be prepared if it ever did.

But, instead of readying herself for a fight the robust fey wandered behind the mansion. She found herself eying the summer wildflowers. A perfect sort of painting was made with the chaotic colors, and the artist stopped the urge that almost sent her back for her easel, brushes and paint. Her room was filled with the images of the Valley's flowers.

Long waves of bronze and brown fell along her shoulders, long fingers running though the thick mane idly. Her pace was slow and her thoughts reflective and deep. It took her some time before she noticed the scent of a stranger. Eyes narrowed for a brief second, but Mati forced herself to give the unseen wolf the benefit of a doubt. She headed towards the scent, and found a ebony figure in the distance. She could not help but frown, even though the woman had not broke the border of the Dreaming lands.

The Church woman was a formidable figure, taking her height from her absent yet statuesque built mother. Her arms moved up to cross over her chest instinctively, but Mati tried to keep her voice from seeming too cold and unwelcoming. Hello... Your awfully close to Crimson Dreams.

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Soran Aatte · 07-15-2011, 08:12 PM

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No problem Smile

Apologies, I did the ramblings it seems lol.

pushitinThe ebony fae had stopped fiddling with her necklaces, she had now caught a strand of her curled black mane and was twisting it and curling it around her finger, noticing a single grey hair standing out brightly against the black of the rest of her mane, instead of frowning, she smiled, she had decided to take any grey hair as a blessing, she had escaped death so many times now, she was indeed getting older; this was a good thing, she had not meant to get any older than one hour, and yet here she was, almost 8 years of age, most definately still alive and kicking. Her thoughts trailed back to her grey furred father, she remembered a vile gnashing of blood stained teeth, a froth at the corners of his mouth, his dark eyes burning into her with a murderous rage, quickly the obsidian lady forced those images back, pushing them into a corner of her mind and firmly slamming the door on them. She had not been plagued by the memory of her father for a great deal of time, she did not intend to start again now. He had been an evil creature, Soran wondered if evil was indeed inherited from one's parents, after all her father had tried to kill her, and she had in her turn killed Rokus, Hollow had brutally attcked the ebony fae and killed many, Conri had followed in his father's footsteps by attacking Naniko and killing his father. Perhaps there was an inevitable cycle of violence that could never be broken, the obsidian lady decided that she could not believe this, everything that happened was as the direct results of the ones who had committed the crimes, there was nothing in the genes to make them do that, if she believed that they were all victims of their DNA she would lose all faith in life. She was not her father, she could not concieve committing the crimes he had committed, just as Conri was not his father, he could still find redemption, if only she could find him in time.
pushitinSoran's thoughts were broken at the approach of another female, obviously of this pack, she was now close enough for Soran to tell that much by her scent. She was of an imposing height, the obsidian fae was considered tall herself, but she had always been lithe and willowy, she had never had the obvious muscles that this fae possessed. The brown fae approached and the obsidian fae scanned her with her eyes, for a moment her heart skipped, she knew this female somehow, she looked like someone she knew, like a dream half-remembered through bleary eyes in the morning, there was something about this brown female that stirred something in Soran's soul, a gut feeling, this fae would be important to her somehow, she just knew it. Then the other fae spoke and the green eyed lady realised that she should have said something, greeted this lady before she got close, it was rather rude of her to have just stood in silence on the other side of the borders, just watching her. Yes, no wonder the tone of the other was slightly cool, she had been gawping at her like an idiot, mindlessly staring at her, she was a stranger to this fae after all, some wolves did not like being stared at by strangers. She dipped her head away in a short bow to the other fae, wanting to show that she understood that she was the dominant one here, although she was many years the ebony lady's junior.
"Yes, I know I'm close, I'm sorry, I was about to call for someone to come and meet me, but I got distracted, it's beautiful here." The ebony lady replied apologetically, gesturing around herself with a long fingered hand as she spoke of the distracting beauty of the land. Momentarily she caught the gaze of the other fae, her emerald gaze meeting the other fae's purple one, her heart skipped, there was something there, she must know this fae, but where from. Quickly she averted her gaze again, dropping her eyes to the ground, not wanting to seem threatening, the ladt thing she wanted to do was to start a fight on the borders of her former home.
"I'm sorry, let me explain, I used to live here, a long time ago, I'm looking for someone, I wondered if maybe he'd passed by here. I'm Soran by the way, Soran Aatte. May I ask who I'm speaking to?" The lady asked, raising her head slightly again, perking her ears up, not attempting dominance, just, hopefulness.

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Mati Church · 07-27-2011, 10:00 AM

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sorry for the wait!

This was no ghost of the woman's past, her memories were fairly clear and she did not think she had ever met this woman. She smelt of far away, and for Mati this was just an old loner stalking their borders. She did not know what bothered the old woman, if it wasn't just the fact that she had been caught lingering so very close to Crimson Dreams. She waited for the nameless fey to speak, and it seemed to take her an eternity to do so. Mati was just about to ask again what it was that she was doing here, but then she spoke up. Though the Church woman was hardly stated by the excuse, the world was filled with pretty looking things. Loners should know better then to get lost so close to a pack's scented boundary. I suppose it can be Mati said, her tone flat. In truth Mati could be caught staring at colorful things at any given time. Her mind lost to in creative thought. But at the moment the only thing that held her attention was the stranger.

She spoke once more, and there was still the honesty in her tone that had been heard before. She tried to ignore it, part of her wishing to take the lingering hostility that she felt towards lone wolves out on the woman. But, she seemed genuine enough. Mati could forgive, and this woman did nothing to her to make Mati wish her ill. It was simply a returning member, one that perhaps lived here before her birth. Though at the sound of her dear brothers sir name Mati's defenses flared. She was silent, purple eyes looking her over once again in case she had missed an indication that they were indeed related. She hadn't missed the signs, she looked simply like a black wolf. Green eyes were a common feature, Savina held them. How was she supposed to link these ones to Haven? The woman inhaled, calming her quickly beating heart.

Mati Church.

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Soran Aatte · 07-27-2011, 11:04 AM

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This familiar fae's tone was cold as she spoke, Soran expected as much, there seemed to have been some trouble here she was guessing, from the way Haven had reacted she expected it had something to do with Naniko, she could not blame anyone for being cautious around the borders. The dark fae had indeed wandered very close to the lands, it had been an absent minded thing, but she had always found that standing close to the borders made it easier for others that she had called for to find her. But of course she had forgotten to call for anyone, she could not help it, it was the exhiliration of seeing so many familiar sights around her, so many familiar scents and landmarks, this place had once been the ebony lady's home, and it was not until she had come so close to it that she had realised quite how much she had missed it. She had so many happy memories here, her young grandchildren playing around the place, her children being here, back when there had been somewhat of a peaceful existence between her and her family, back before she had abandonded them for a second time, it was such a shame that she had done so, she regretted it desperately. Though the female could not deny that some good had come of her leaving, she could name them all in one breath, Florence, Flavian, Kiwi and Rain, her four youngest children, born so far from here, it seemed miles away now, she missed them, all she could do was hope that they too would gain the wanderlust that she had found, the itchy feet and then they would follow the map she had drawn for them, they would come and find her. She could not argue with them when they had decided that they wanted to stay, they had been born in that pack afterall, it was there home, they had no connections to this place, they had no reason to come here. Their goodbye had been hopeful and although tearful, she was sure that they would come here soon, she juat had a feeling.
"Once again, I'm sorry, I got lost in my thoughts and completely forgot for a moment why I was here. It was the familiarity you see, I'd forgotten how much I had missed it here." The lady apologised again earnestly, she didn't want any tension between herself and this reddish brown female, especially when she was so certain that she knew this younger female.

She raised her head and looked her over again, there was something she knew there, something so familiar, little movements she made, the way she spoke, there was something in her that the dark female knew so well. And once the other fae gave her name Soran's heart leapt, she knew that she had known her! She was overjoyed to see her again, her little granddaughter, now so grown up. Her first instinct was to hug her tightly against her, but she decided against that, she had already upset Noah that way, realising who he was and lunging at him in a great big hug which had done nothing but make him feel awkward and uncomfortable. But here she was, her blood, all grown up, defending her pack's borders, it was wonderful to see. Though there was no sign of recognition in Mati's eyes, only to her surname, she looked confused Soran thought, perhaps the dark lady had indeed been gone far too long, her memory washed away from these lands as so many that came before her had been. It was a shame, the ebony lady once again regretted leaving, she hated her grandchildren not knowing her, not understanding who she was. A large smile came over her face though at the mention of her granddaughter's name though, her entire face lighting up with an unspeakable joy, she looked her over with her jade eyes, trying to memorise every detail of her, it was so good to see her again.
"Mati.." She breathed, almost saying her name as it if were a prayer, only just louder than a whisper. "I knew I knew you, I knew I had seen you before. It is so good to see you little one." Soran said, using her standard pet name for all of her grandchildren, although it did not really apply anymore, Mati was far from small anymore. "I'm sorry, this must be very confusing for you, the last time that you saw me you could have been no larger than this." The ebony lady said with a smile, holding her hands out, indicating how big Mati would have been the last time they had seen one another. Though it was true that Mati and Soran had not spent much time together, just seeing one another around the lands and in passing, the ebony lady had somehow managed to spend more time with her grandsons than either of her granddaughters.
"Let me explain, I'm your grandmother Mati." The lady said, smiling at her granddaughter nervously.

Mati Church · 07-28-2011, 09:52 AM

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feel free to have to stay and protest if its her personality! ;D

The Church woman did not understand the apparent changes that went through this dark female. It seemed as if she went from caution and insecurity to happiness and excitement. The bronze wolfess, however, did not change in her demeanor. She still stood as tall and rock solid as she had when she had first approached. Despite the eager words of the older woman Mati did not take her lingering lightly, and was even more stoic at the knowledge that she had Haven's last name. Mati had thought a time ago that they needed to cut those names from their first like their adopted mother Anu. She had nothing dangling at the end, and since they were both closer to her then any blood relative it only made sense. But they hadn't, and because of that this woman believed them to be related.

She was not altered by the knowledge. Mati blinked at the black furred female, her frown perhaps growing deeper. A grandmother? Mati had never known such a thing, and she couldn't help but wonder which of her horrid parents this woman had birthed. The rapist? Or the neglectful addict?

It was not her nature to be hateful, nor mean. But the past was something that had wrapped itself around her heart and Mati would not forget. Forgetting left her loved ones in harms way. It allowed her to make the same mistakes she had before. She took a moment, watching Soran and wondering what it was that her so called grandmother wished from her. She searched, seeking out a part of her that wished to be close to this wolf...

If I were you I would not get lost in my thoughts again. She couldn't find it. Purple eyes now looked a shade darker, her arms notched a bit tighter against her chest, and her nose motioning upwards as if to send the woman off on her way. Mati did not wish for ghosts to reappear into her life, she did not wish for those things to return and this woman was a link to those bad memories.

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Soran Aatte · 07-28-2011, 12:45 PM

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WC: 895 She's going to try to explain, if she can't get through then she will leave, but Soran just joined CD... and she's called a room quite near Mati's without knowing it, so they're kinda neighbours anyway lol.

Soran had not been expecting a warm reception from her granddaughter, she had not recieved one from Haven after all. She was not expecting the reddish brown girl to leap into her arms and beg her never to go away, she had not expected a hearts and flowers reunion between the pair of them, she knew full well that she had abandoned these pups when they had been small, and that their father had proven not to be anything close to a decent wolf, let alone parent. Something was telling her that Naniko had too, proven herself unsuitable, the way she had spoken about her pups, how she would raise the result of her current pregnancy "better this time", had made Soran uneasy, she would never have said that she was anything but proud of her grandchildren, so what had made her pale almost-daughter think otherwise, she didn't think it was anything to do with her own blood, it was something to do with Nani, there was something strange going on with her, she just could quite simply not put her finger on it. The dark female had already decided to find out what was going on, and if it was something bad then Nani could expect a lecture like none she'd had before, the ebony fae wanted to help her, but that didn't mean that she would not give her a verbal butt-kicking if it was what was needed, she loved Nani, but she loved her grandchildren as well, and she cared for the unborn pups living inside the pale leader, she wanted the best for them. She just hoped beyond everything that the pale female was not planning on doing anything to hurt them. The dark female had already decided that her mothering days were over, her youngest pups now being over a year old, which amusingly was younger than her grandchildren; but if needs be she would take Nani's newest litter, raise them with her, but only if it was the only way to keep them safe.

What the dark female had not been expecting, just as much as the joyous reunion, was the reaction of the reddish brown female, she was so hostile, the female could hear it in her voice, Haven had not been happy to see her, but he had not dismissed her so suddenly. This was truley a dismissal, the way Mati tossed her head, (something the ebony fae noticed, that her father used to do as well) was a dismissal, in her mind this conversation was over. It was clear that the young fae wanted nothing to do with her ageing grandmother. The dark lady's heart sank, her ears and tail drooping, she bowed her head momentarily, wiping at one green eye with the back of her hand, she could not cry tears but she had gained the habit from reading so many human books, she wiped her eyes when she was happy or sad. A sudden moment of resolve came over the dark female and she raised her head again to look at Mati, who was stood so stoicly, her arms crossed tightly against her chest, she would go if that was what she wanted, but not before she had had a chance to explain, she was not going to give up without a fight; not after she had walked so many miles to find her family. At the very least she would explain her actions, spread her cards on the table so to speak and then if Mati still wanted nothing to do with her then at least she would know that she had tried.
"Mati... Mati please let me explain, please... let me try and tell you why I left you, then I'll go, OK? Please?" The dark lady pleaded, she so desperately wanted a chance before she had to leave.

"Look, when I left I thought it was the best for you all. I thought I had been leaving you in capable hands, your father was already out of the picture, which I can agree was best for you." The dark lady's ears drooped again slightly, mentioning her own red son made her heart sad, even though she could never forgive him for what he had done, he was still her son and she still loved him.
"I left because I thought Nan... your mother and Anu were doing a fine job of raising you, now that may have changed since I left, but at the time I couldn't stay here, there was too much hurt left here for me. I didn't mean to leave you all alone. I'm not expecting anything of you Mati, I'm not expecting everything to be magically fine between us, have you suddenly asking me to braid your hair and give you advice. But I would like something of an amicable relationship between the pair of us. I just want to talk to you, find some common ground, answer any questions you may have, then I shall leave." The ebony female stating, looking into Mati's eyes pleadingly. She suddenly wished that she had never left Dayna's pack, she missed her pups, they loved her unconditionally, she never had worked for their love, then again she supposed she had always been a good mother to them, well miles better than she had been with Khaden and Dhalia at least.

Mati Church · 07-28-2011, 03:30 PM

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ooooo this will be fun then!! Smile

also, sorry about mati XD... she'll def come around tho! thread again soon?

Mati had her own family to care for now. She had her mate, and though they had no pups to birth and tend to she and Cambria both had young siblings that they helped to raise. They were mothers in a way to those young wolves and she would use that experience to raise her own litter is they ever had one. But the woman was dedicated to her mate all the same, providing as much as she could for the fragile healer. Mati looked to Anu for a mother, and she sought out Savina for comfort as well. She did not see this dark fey as someone that had abandoned her, and did not spite her for that. She hadn't known that Soran had left them in the first place, and it was not that abandonment that made the tragic happenings occur. Her explanation was hasty and filled with honesty as well as desperation. Mati took it as if she thought that the bronze woman had expected something from her, and Soran had not fulfilled it. She expected nothing. She needed nothing from her, the world was as right as it could ever be.

All she did was bring the memories of her mother back to her.

Perhaps she should have stayed where she had ventured off to. It seemed that she had been gone long enough to establish a live beyond their world, so why had she come back? Mati shook her head, her patience for any loner had just about died when she and Cambi had met Keese. Why should that change with the appearance of a long lost grandmother? The pack needed her, and at the moment she could think of a paw-full of things that needed to be done in places other then the flowered valley. Things that were easier then thinking about Naniko and that things that had happened, thinking about how Cambria had been hurt and how those emotional scares had never left her. Mati's gaze fell to the ground, but she was only slightly broken by Soran insisting attempts to breach the large gap between them. You owe me nothing, you are not the one I blame. Perhaps that would bring the old woman some comfort. Still, Mati was not strong enough to stand before her and speak of the time they had lost and the lives that had been made while apart.

I hope that brings you some closure. Her tone was sincere, softer then before. Mati was honest in that wish, and she hoped that Soran would learn to forget the blood ties. Mati had tired, and it helped on most occasions. The tall woman nodded, hoping and figuring that the black wolf knew enough not to cross her borders, and turned take the slow walk back to Haven Manor. Perhaps she could shrug off the haunting memories of a mother once pure that turned tainted in a mere moment.

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Soran Aatte · 07-28-2011, 05:52 PM

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WC: 1071 Sure another thread would be good Smile I have room for one now if you'd like or you we can leave it a little while, it's up to you Smile

The ebony lady watched the young mottled brown and red female carefully, she looked so much like a combination of her mother and father, the dark grandmother wondered if she even had realised that. It was in the way that she stood, the way she spoke, everything about her sparked memories for Soran. She so wished that she had gotten to know her better when she had been tiny, before there were any prejudices between them, before the girl's white mother had ruined any happy thoughts for Mati, before she had known about her father's appauling actions, before everything between the pair had become tainted and tarnished with the actions of Soran's children, it was something that was completely beyond her control, but still she felt guilty. Perhaps if she had not left then she would have been able to prevent some of it happening, perhaps she would have recognised whatever it was in Nani that was wrong, that had hurt her family so, perhaps she could have caught her with a good conversation that would help her, that would have stopped all this heartache and bad feeling. The truth was that she could probably have done nothing to change what had happened, her presence may have had no effect on the outcomes of the events that had passed. But the ebony female could not help but think that had she just been there, something might be different. Perhaps then she would not be standing here, almost begging her granddaughter to let her be a part of her life. She expected nothing from Mati, but that did not mean that she did not want the young girl to be a part of her life, she wanted Mati to look on her with something other than uncomfortableness and coldness, perhaps not love and affection, not yet, but Soran could not bear the idea that her grandchildren did not want her in their lives. She didn't want her great grandchildren to never know her, she wanted her family back. That chance seemed to have passed though. She had left it too late, she felt so guilty, not just because she had lost them a chance to know her by leaving them so early, but also for herself, she had allowed herself to lose those who were so important to her, her blood, she had lost those who should have been the closest to her. It was her own fault, she had inadvertantly severed those ties herself, by not being here she had allowed such awful things to have happened, almost giving her consent through her inactivity, it was true that she did not know what had happened, but she still felt awful, she wished she had been there, there may have been some small thing she could have done to help things. Something that could have been a shred of hope for her relationships with her family now. Alas it was too late it seemed.

Mati spoke then, the dark fae's ears turned to catch the sound, she was acutely aware that this might be the last time that she heard her granddaughter's voice, she said that she did not blame her, but the coldness in her voice was still present. It occured to the green eyed lady then that perhaps she was just too much of a memory for the other fae, that she may remind her too much of her parents and their awful behaviour, that she may just be too painful a sight for the younger girl. It was terribly sad for the ebony lady, she wanted to reach out and touch the younger girl, to catch her in a hug, to thank her for not blaming her, but also to show her that she was nothing like either of her parents, she was not Naniko or Conri, she didn't want Mati to think of her that way, her son had done terrible things, things that she could never forgive him for, and as for the alabaster girl, she did not know what she had done, but she knew that it must be pretty serious if her family had cut all ties for her. She suspected that that was why Nani had left the pack as well, she was starting to think that she had not just left to find missing family and start a new pack, the dark lady was beginning to think that she had been forcibly removed from the pack, and for that to happen she must have done something awful. The dark lady knew Anu and Savina, she knew that they were forgiving souls, it would have taken something really serious for them to decide to shoo Naniko away, the fae was worried about her pale daughter, she wanted to know what she had done, no she needed to know, she needed to help her, make her see sense.

Mati spoke again and the ebony lady sighed once again, she was glad that she did not blame her, it indeed help her heal some of the guilt that was resting like a leaden weight on her chest, but the way she said it was so final. It seemed that it was indeed the end of their conversation, the younger fae turned away from her, and that was it, the dark lady's heart sank slightly, her ears drooping slightly, her tail following suit. The younger fae began to walk away and Soran knew that this was now her time to leave.
"Alright then Mati, thank you for saying what you did, it does go a long way to helping me gain closure. I know you most likely will not want to see me again, but if ever you should want to find me, know that I shall never turn you away, you will always be welcome to come and talk to me." Soran said loudly to the fae's back, not shouting her to come back, just saying her piece, wanting the young girl to know that even though she did not want to see her grandmother, that she would always be happy to see her if ever she chose to seek her out.
"Goodbye little one." She said more quietly, her voice quivering with sorrow now, she too turned her back and began to walk away from the lands, all too aware that those may have been the last words she would say to her young granddaughter.

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