from the edge

Talitha de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 12:29 PM

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mall-caps;text-variantmall-caps;">IT'S ONLY cript;">FOREVER, NOT LONG AT ALL

Her visits with Enkiel had become more frequent as the summer dragged on, even though she'd tied herself to Cotl — the handsome jackayote was proving to be her only true friend who expected little from her, while everyone else just wanted and wanted and wanted. She found herself in better spirits on the days she spent with her cousin, even if it were only for a few hours. Perhaps that's why she'd gone to see him so early, her day preparing for a meeting she knew she had to have. It'd been so long since she'd really sought out her father — after his injury, when the dog witch had come to heal him, they had spoken in the confines of what had once been his den. He didn't reside there now, leaving a cold place in what had once been a haven for her.

Bidding farewell to Enkiel, she hesitated in her choice to visit him. Her disgust still remained, and she expected his anger had not lessened. Still, they were family, and she found her resolve as she sought him out in silence. He was only a few rooms away from her original destination — if he had been farther, perhaps she would have changed her mind. As it was, she came to a halt before the door to what was now his space, small hand clenching as it rose to knock against something. Secretly, she hoped he wasn't there. She hoped there would be no response, but she knew better than to rely on her poor luck.

"Daddy? Are you in?"

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 12:49 PM

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His days drew long, for the heat of the summer was oppressive. Gabriel slept often, and at night tried to wander through the familiar forest. It surprised him that his shoulder grew stronger, though he did not tell his medic. It wasn’t as if he had stopped limping. There was little Gabriel could really do to aid the clan besides offer his advice—Ezekiel was doing fine as Aquila, even if the boy doubted himself. People left. They always left. Gabriel had no doubt that this would pass in time. Summer made for weak-bonds. Winter brought those who needed aid.

He was laying on the day-bed, a massive wolfish thing than claimed it was not that. Gabriel had a book under one paw, reading silently. The hybrid considered going to find food, and at this point heard the footsteps near his door. Talitha. Curious as to why his daughter might be seeking him out, Gabriel pushed the book aside. “Come in,” he called, stretching to loosen his stiff muscles.

Talitha de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 01:00 PM

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And as she expected, he was there. She entered the room silently, loosing her auburn curls from the tie they'd been up in so that they returned to their place about her shoulders. Her eyes spoke for her as she studied the sight of her father — her concern was still there, fear that he would leave her as her mother had and as Ezekiel was starting to. Truth was that Gabriel had left long before her brother, and she kept herself wrapped up in illusion that she was loved by the gruff Aquila Emeritus. This illusion, her fears, did not translate into body language — once inside of the room, she seemed poised and confidant as she always attempted to be.

"You look better." Her words were simple, unadorned with emotion as she looked for and took a seat near the worn bed her father stretched out on. The action was becoming more difficult as the end of her condition drew closer, eliciting a grunt of exertion as her muscles were allowed to relax. A smile tried to hold on to her jaws, but it slipped away as easily as it came. There were many things she'd done to invoke the wrath of the monster she knew as her father since their last meeting in his den — she'd abused one of his children with words, she'd blackmailed her brother, she'd trespassed into lands of physical comfort that even she was disgusted by. Yet all she came for was the present, rather than the past.

The first matter was not the most obvious, as she had no desire to talk about her impending motherhood with him just yet. Instead, her mind jerked towards something else, something that she still could not understand the reason for. "I picked a significant other — Cotl Ulrich." Significant other, so much less than the term mate but more easily used by the princess. She didn't love Cotl, not like she had loved the corpse hiding in the ground near her den, but he was tangible and steadfast and her choice had offered her some peace of mind even if it would not do the same for her father or brother — she was sure she'd never please Ezekiel with a choice in lover anyways.

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 01:13 PM

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Even with his absentee lifestyle, Gabriel had seen Talitha’s growing belly. He disliked the fact she had conceived without a mate, but he was not one to speak of such matters. Anu and Alaine were proof enough of that. Of course, Ezekiel and Talitha had known both parents up until they had been sent away. Perhaps it had ruined them, doing that.

So it surprised him to hear she had chosen a man. The coy-dog with the odd eyes and twitches. Gabriel’s face betrayed his dislike for this decision almost instantly, and he grunted. “You choose a dog,” he said flatly, amber eyes gleaming with a deep anger. His voice did not rise, nor did his body show aggression—but it lingered deep within him none the less. “And a man with some sort of compulsion to spit and shake. I wish we had more men for you to pick from,” the graying hybrid added. “You deserve someone better.”

Quickly, he looked at her belly. “Are they his? Is that why you chose him?”

Talitha de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 01:27 PM

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Her motives were unclear even to herself, but the entire situation displeased Gabriel, that was clear enough. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his face, listening to his words as he shot down her decision to 'grow up'. It seemed she could please no one — Ezekiel seemed to find her choices in lovers distasteful and now their father agreed. She had chosen a dog, yes, but hadn't he done far worse in the past? Twice over he had betrayed what he claimed to be, but perhaps it was the fault of Faolin; in leaving him, had she caused his mind to twist in such a poor way? Yes, it was Faolin's fault, it had to be — her father, mortal as he was, still held place on the pedestal his daughter had placed him upon, and on most days he could do no wrong.

A slender hand rubbed uncomfortably against her neck, where the silver stag head hung on a thin chain alongside the twisting branches and dark garnet of her other jewelry — since the death of her mountain man, she had worn it in an attempt to keep him close, but felt it was doing more harm than good. Her throat cleared, eyes allowed to close in order to hide what she didn't want him to see. "It doesn't matter what I deserve, there isn't better or worse here. You both want me to pick...what, a coyote? There are none here, despite what we claim to be. Hybrid and Enkiel...neither of them offer a solution — Enkiel is family and I...hate Hybrid." That was clear enough.

Her toes curled anxiously as she wondered whether or not to lie to her father — that decision was clear. "They...aren't his. I chose him because it was time for me to grow up, and he...offers stability here. Without him, I have no reason to stay if you or Ezekiel leave me. Inferni won't be home without you...Cotl will make it home, even if he isn't what I really want." It wasn't completely true — she was fond of Cotl, moreso than she was of the other men she'd slept with in the past, but her heart was hidden under the earth with the dead Winters boy resided.

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 09:21 PM

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It was unfortunate Gabriel had begun to see Talitha for what she was. He loved her dearly, but unlike her foolish brother, the dark wolf-coy knew what she had become. Nothing she said was taken for what it was—nothing was ever as simple as she made it seem. Gabriel studied her as best he could, listening to what he knew was the truth. The clan had shrunk terribly in these past few months.

So she carried another man’s children. It was no surprise; Gabriel suspected his daughter would take after her mother, after all. How similar they looked. The amber-eyed man grunted lightly and looked away. “I don’t suppose it matters whose they are then. You are Inferni’s first daughter, and its princess. They are clan children, ultimately, and that is all that matters.” Shifting his weight, the aging warrior looked back to the woman that had once been his little girl. “Are you taking care of yourself?”

Talitha de le Poer · 07-23-2011, 09:52 PM

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Lying was an art that Talitha had fast excelled in, alongside her skills of deception and secrecy. How she had managed to go for so long without the notice of her brother and father rested entirely on the fact that she hadn't truly settled down in Inferni until recently — she'd gone for years without exposing them to her ways. But Gabriel was a smart man. How long had it taken for him to see what she had turned into? Did he blame Faolin in the way Talitha did? Or was she simply useless, a shame upon her lineage.

She was glad that Gabriel didn't press for information about the father, as she had no desire to broach that information. Only Enkiel knew. Only Enkiel would ever know, and he had been adamant that telling others was not in her best interest. She knew he was right — it was bad enough that she played the part of whore, but to acknowledge the shameful heritage her children would hold was simply too much.

Gabriel's words struck a memory, causing the red-eyed Imaginifer to look up sharply and focus on his face. Princess, Inferni's princess — this was something she often entertained in her own head, but she hadn't heard the words from another since she was a child. It'd been Gabriel then, too, who told her what she was. It'd been Gabriel who'd created the self-important monster that his daughter had become. A smile twisted onto her face for the briefest moment, until she remembered what she carried. "Yes, clan children...your grandchildren." Her words faded into silence as she tried to bring forth something else that didn't want to come.

She cleared her throat before proceeding, eyes turning down to the floor and away from her father. "Promise you'll forgive me once they're born — I'm not like you, I don't have restraint." Of course, he didn't truly have restraint himself, and she would not explain herself if her fears were realized.

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 12:18 AM

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Of the eight (though he knew only of seven) children Gabriel had brought into the world, Talitha and Ezekiel were his only true heirs. They were the only ones not born bastards. This made them unique, made them his true heirs. Both children had known what it was to rule Inferni—Gabriel did not understand why Talitha had stepped down, but assumed this was for the best. He was, after all, no longer a part of the leadership here. Still, he was proud of the two of them; they had survived wars and the wilderness and grown, despite their flaws.

Her smile brought a faint echo onto his face, a little thing that took away some of the age from him. Yet she seemed conflicted, and Gabriel tensed at this. She would not look at him. My God, what has she done?

A riddle. A clue. What did she carry? Certainly not wolves, he hoped. She was too outspoken to seek them out. If it had been rape, he would have known. Ezekiel would have slaughtered the bastard with Gabriel’s blessing. It was clear to him she was pained by this and had made some sort of poor decision, but to attack her now would be to push her away. Gabriel sighed and slid from the bed, half-limping to his taller daughter. “If you are happy and they are healthy, then it doesn’t matter.” For now, at least, this was not a lie.

Talitha de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 12:33 AM

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Her lineage was everything, though it was a flawed line that she clung to. Gabriel was her only tie to a history she had never been a part of — he carried blood she was ashamed of, blood shared by generations of wolves that had only recently found itself thinned out by the genes of her coyote ancestors. It was with this in mind that she had crafted her choices, in both mate and father of her unborn children, as appalling as her decision had been. The dead lover did not have a place in her family tree — Caillen Winters was a ghost, and his children would have no place in the world of their mother. That was why she'd sought out another, a creature that still made her skin crawl.

She was drawn from her thoughts as Gabriel slid from the day bed, hobbling toward her with words of comfort. Her happiness, their health, that was what mattered. Happiness was fleeting in the mind of the princess, but she had tried to adhere to all advice given to her by her smart healer cousin and damned if she would fail again to bring living children into the world. If he only knew what demon she had invoked to gain them, however, would she still have a home there? After all she had said and done to him for his transgressions?

Slender fingers found his fur as they always did, an action of a child who needed a foundation. "I'm never happy. Happiness is useless." Negativity was like a second language to her, one she tried to keep down around the masses. With a tone that hinted to an apology, she allowed herself to try and lift her pessimism from the air. "Enkiel's been helping me — I won't lose these ones like I did the last. Not after what it took to get them." Her words were vaguely cold, referring to her unborn offspring as if they were furniture or a badge of status — not status for herself, but for the de le Poer line, for Gabriel who was growing old and had yet to see his children's children. At the expense of her sanity, she refused to see her family end so early.

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 12:45 AM

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Perhaps, in some way, he would understand what drove his daughter. All things drink from dead waters when driven to desperation. Talitha was no different; she believed her duty to her family was the singular driving purpose in her life. If she discounted her talents and her skills as she did, this was all that remained. A womb, a carrier—she could pass along holy blood and bring about children who would succeed the de le Poer name. It might even save her, these damned things, if she learned to love them.

He was used to her shadow, and so dismissed it. It pleased Gabriel to know that the little healer was caring for his daughter. Enkiel was still an enigma to him, and to imagine he might find kinship with Talitha of all people was astounding. Still, her moods had improved slightly since they had begun spending time together. This couldn’t be said for Ezekiel, who had become short-tempered and reckless as of late. “Make sure your…mate feeds you well. You don’t want that brother of yours hovering over you; your mother hated my persistence,” he added with a light chuckle. “Of course, I was feeding her and three other mouths, so that made me a bit crazy.” Especially with Andre behaving as he did.

Talitha de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 01:01 AM

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Her father spoke with faint mirth and she allowed her features to brighten with the plastic smile learned from watching her brother. "I enjoy Ezekiel's attention; it's a shame he's my brother, he's absolutely perfect." Sometimes she wondered if she would feel the same were the situation different — if he wasn't family, would she give the Aquila a second glance, or even a first? The depth that she loved her brother at transcended all other emotion, but she realized that the love she had was there simply because he was her brother. If he hadn't been, she would have never cared. Of course, she believed that would have been better — her fears lingered around the idea that some day Ezekiel would find another, replacing her in his life. Worse yet, in his heart.

"I'm sure I'll be fine; if Cotl slacks off, Ezekiel would take up the job. He loves me, even though we don't get along." The idea that they didn't get along was a hard one for Talitha to swallow, as she put all of her effort into maintaining her brother's happiness. Still, it was true. She had ruined something and though he continued to tell her he loved her, she could tell when he was angry. She couldn't remember when he had been angry with her in the past. The idea of it caused her false smile to fade. "He's going to hate me — I haven't told him about Cotl yet."

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 01:31 AM

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The faint idea of incest was ignored—Gabriel had dreaded such things in the aftermath of whatever it was Kaena’s last brood had produced. He had not seen what had become of Rachias and Arkham, but there had been signs; faint little things he found queer. So unspoken went this fear as it had in the past. Ezekiel and Talitha were better than that.

Gabriel’s faint smile faded slightly at the girl’s mention of her brother not getting along with her. That was new. They had become inseparable since his return. Something had happened, and likely, it had to do with Gabriel’s own infatuation. Ezekiel no longer vanished for days at a time, nor did he ever bring the smell of the Court back with him. Talitha’s voice broke his concentration on the matter and refocused it on the idea that she would be hated for her choice of a mate.

“He won’t like it,” Gabriel said plainly. “But it is not his choice to make. One day he’ll pick someone too, and then you can both dislike each other’s choices. It’s park of being a family.” A faint joke, one he accompanied with a tail-wag.

Talitha de le Poer · 07-24-2011, 01:42 AM

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She couldn't disclose to her father what had occurred in the forest, between her brother and what had once been a hulk of a wolfdog. Gabriel was, in some ways, close to the situation — while he didn't leave the lands any longer, she did not trust his loyalty to keep his mouth shut to the woman from the cesspool of hybrids against the sea. Caillen was a ghost, and his ghost was a secret for only Ezekiel and his sister to witness. She had promised, he had listened, and she would not betray his confidences by speaking the words to anyone until she told the whore woman herself.

He agreed that Ezekiel would disapprove, perhaps more so than Gabriel did, but offered his own insight into the matter. His words left her cold, a stubbornness that was not unfamiliar in the woman filling the air around her. "He won't find anyone — he's already promised he'll never leave me again." Had he really? Had he used those words, or had she imagined them? It didn't matter — what mattered was that she refused to lose him to anyone, from outsiders to another woman on the inside of the clan. That moment hadn't come yet. She wasn't excited for it.

Her head shook once or twice, tossing auburn curls around her face before they came to a stop. "There's no reason for him to dislike my choice — I don't love anyone but you and Zekie, there's no reason to. I've seen what love does. I won't let it ruin me like it's ruined you." Ruined. Yes, he was ruined by the concept of love — perhaps her uncle had been right to think she was afraid to love, but it didn't matter what fear she might have had. The simple fact was that Gabriel had once been more...and what she perceived to be love had taken something from him over the years that she couldn't quite place.

Gabriel de le Poer · 07-27-2011, 08:27 PM

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She seemed to believe that her brother would never fall in love. Gabriel only smiled that same knowing smile and let it go. One day or another they would have to face each other as they were. He kept smiling up until she brought up his own volatile love-life. Then his expression fell; he breathed out a sigh and shook his head. “Whatever the reason,” he said, cocking his head slightly. “You two will sort it out. You’re a lot like how Corona and I were,” the graying hybrid went on, voice trailing off.

He studied her still-growing belly, then looked back up to his daughter’s face. Oddly, only pride gleamed in his eyes. “You’ll do fine. I want you to have healthy children, and I’ll do what I can to help you once they come. Though it will be strange to be a grandpa,” he added with a chuckle.

Talitha de le Poer · 07-30-2011, 02:39 PM

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He smiled at her foolish notion that Ezekiel would be forever hers, but she tried not to see past it. Somewhere inside the russet princess, she knew — she could only offer so much without crossing into a world tha would have her wholly rejected by the golden Aquila. Her love for her brother was recognized by the de le Poer, yet it was something she'd tried to move past. Ezekiel could only love her less. Losing her own emotions was an attempt to save her heart from disappointment, but her fantasy continued on that Ezekiel would only ever be hers. It hid the truth. Ezekiel, like so many others, would leave her behind even if only in the realm of emotion.

Her mood improved at the comparison between herself and Ezekiel to Gabriel and Corona — her favored aunt. Of course, she wondered silently who resembled who? Physically, it was obvious. Internally, if she truly thought, was obvious enough as well. She resembled her broken, Shadowed father. Ezekiel, while strong and intelligent, did not seem as dark. Regardless, she tried to smile. "I miss her. I could talk to her. There's so few people I can talk to now." She couldn't talk to Gabriel, not as deeply, lest she reveal the secrets that would tarnish her further.

His pride confused her as she watched his golden eyes study her before returning to her own crimson gaze, but she was relieved that it was not disappointment. If he believed in her, then she was determined to do well, but she wondered if she was capable. "It had to happen sometime." Her words referenced both her age, as well as the loose standards she expected her father knew she had. Andrezej had ruined what might have been a stable heir with greedy, hurtful fingers that were still often felt by the maturing woman. Still, she felt it was her fault that she was incapable of 'getting over it'. "I'm sorry. For how...difficult I am to spend time with. And for how wrong." Things she wasn't truly able to control.

Gabriel de le Poer · 08-15-2011, 11:48 PM

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She was not the only one who missed his golden sister, and Gabriel desperately wished she had not taken after their father and been given to run. He doubted he would ever see Corona again, and this tore him apart in a peculiar way. He brushed his tail across the worn wooden floor and shrugged again. “You’re not half so bad, Tali. That brother of yours…” he added, trailing off with a good-natured growl. Ezekiel had taken to pestering his father often, though these days, he was preoccupied and distracted.

The former Aquila continued on, and spoke long into the afternoon about the things he had learned from his own experience with the two of them, even though it had been short. Gabriel advised her on how to eat, to make sure that she spoke with Enkiel often, and how best to keep herself. It was heavy conversation but they sometimes broke into silence, and between them, this was comfortable. They retired to the porch, and there Gabriel dozed comfortably while his daughter took to drawing.

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