I am but a shadow

Anann Kelevra · 07-28-2011, 03:29 PM

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for Alder<3

Anatoliy had tried to persuade Anann to stay in the house and rest, or at the very least accompany him down to the shore while he worked on restoring the sailboat he had acquired into something sea worthy and for the first few days she had relented. Submitting to the male's desires to stay close and where he could keep a protective watch on her. But the atmosphere that surrounded them was often full of tension and awkwardness as Anann still tried to keep him at a distance, even if only on an emotional level.

Today she was determined to go to the stables. The walk from the house in Lunenberg was almost twice that, if not more, than the walk would have been from her own cabin and her pace was slow. Many might not have recognized the Kelevra as she made her way along the well worn paths. A creature once defined by her confidence and pride. Her head was no longer held high as she went, but drooped below her shoulders and her tail sagged behind her as bandaged legs carried her onward. Slow, but steady. Rem plodding along behind her.

Upon reaching the old race track she headed out towards the paddocks where she knew there to be a large shade tree. A familiar pair, mother and son were easily spotted out grazing. Noire had already shed his baby coat to reveal the light roan of his rump. Anann sunk to her belly in the cool grass under the wide shade tree, her head resting between her paws. The walk had been more tiring than she had expected. Once she was settled and Rem convinced she perfectly fine where she rested the stallion took off, nimbly jumping the fence to run over to Lumiere and Noire.

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Alder · 08-02-2011, 12:41 PM

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<3

The day to day for the man had become fairly routine, and he couldn’t be happier with that. While other’s found a schedule mundane Alder thrived on the structure and liked that it was up to him to determine when he had free time to relax. He could accomplish so much if he just stuck to the timeline in his head. The stables were clean, and though the projects to keep the old structure standing were many Alder was keeping the place erect and even improving (as best as he could). In his blue eyes he saw accomplishment at least.

It was just another day, his list of things scrawled out on an old piece of tattered parchment and pinned to a post where that he passed often. An old piece of pencil sat near by so he could scratch out what was finished. And the Marshal had quite a few lines drawn across it.

A blue eye glanced at it as he passed, a whistle on his lips and he figured that it was time for a break. He placed a shovel, its handle patched with a long length of rope and a thick branch to make it long enough for the tall male, against the barn’s wall and headed out to the track. He walked slowly, fatigue and heat setting in but his steps were still light and easy. Alder had an idea, though not too original, but his thoughts went to the paddocks where there was a large tree and a mother and foal that he could visit.

He saw the other wolf, her scent alarming him at first and then he saw the golden pelted creature beneath the tree and beside the three horses. Alder took to a jog, hurrying towards them and hopped the fence, startling the family of horses unintentionally. Alder broke the silence fist with low-speech to calm the three and then questioned Anann. Are you alright? His voice was thick with concern and he feared that she was ill. Things had not been right with the wolfess, and Alder had missed her presence among the stables.

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Anann Kelevra · 08-04-2011, 03:25 PM

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It was Lumiere that Rem greeted first as he trotted up to the pair. A gentle touch as their velvety noses met and the stallion moved on by to stand beside her to nip lovingly at her her withers. The roan mare returned the jester of affection as little Noire pranced about them, his high pitched neighing demanding attention. The sight of happy trio was spirit lifting for the amber femme, though still not enough to bring a smile to her solemn features. She could only think of the new buds of life that grew within her. It wouldn't be long until those lives were bounding around the legs of the large horse much like Noire. It should have been a happy thought, but it somber to the amber woman. There were no promises for the lives that grew within her. The mother could not even promise that they would be loved. How could they be?

The broad head of the secui female rested heavily between her bandaged forelegs. A thin layer of the salve that Alaine had provided could be seen spread over the worst of her muzzle. The soft flesh of her lips was still the bright pink of healing and tender, but were healing quite nicely. The top of her muzzle and along the bone on the bottom of her jaw was the worst and was still scabbed. The bandages on her legs had not yet been changed and so it was hard to tell how well they were healing, but swelling had gone down and they hadn't seemed as tender in the last couple days. The large head raised up at the sound of hurried steps approaching, the chain that still hung about her neck rattled lightly with the motion. Fear had risen in her momentarily, even though the bastard that had put her in this state was known to be dead, killed by the hands of her King.

Alder's masked face was unmistakable and her hammering heart quickly settled. Anann pulled her legs under herself a little to better support her raised head. She tried to offer him a reassuring smile, though it was weak and the expression pulled lightly at her lips. Never reaching her eyes, which were still filled with the grief that consumed her. "I'll be fine." she answered in a meager tone. Any that had known Anann would easily see she was not the same beast she had been only weeks before. In time, perhaps.

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Alder · 08-11-2011, 02:09 PM

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<3

Alder knew better then to believe her. She been through a lot, and that was simply the physical he could see. But the boy's meek personality was afraid to breech the wall the surrounded her and what had happened to her was frightening ground to walk upon. Yet he cared too much just to believe the lie. Well, perhaps she could be fine in the long run but that was months away. Alder went to his knees beside her, the soft ground beneath the tree curving from the weight. It was him, wasn't it? Alder said, deep voice a mere whisper. Alder had never risen his voice to any other creature besides Keese, he had never been so mad when the gray male had spoken harshly to 'Thorn. Now, that was returning. Burning steadily behind his initial fear and his sorrow for her condition.

The marker were everywhere. Her face included. Alder blinked, and felt the urge of tears at the corner of his eyes. She had always been strong, but he couldn't help but grieve for her and feel the pain that the sight of her wounds brought him.

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Anann Kelevra · 08-13-2011, 09:09 PM

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Anann resisted to edge closer as Alder knelt down. Ever since she had become aware of Keese’s presence in these lands she had done her best to distance herself from those she called friend and family. Now though, she was broken and sought the small comforts she found in the familiar presences of those she knew would bring her no harm. Yet, Anann held few regrets. Her solitude had left her vulnerable, but she had kept her pack safe from being used against her. She knew she had hurt Anatoliy when she had left him and bid him to stay away, but she was thankful, oh so thankful, that he had listened. For Keese never would have hesitated to use that love against her. He was her greatest weakness, but he would not have stopped there had he felt the need. No, Keese would have used any of those she cared for against. Knowing all to well that Anann would be one to sacrifice herself for the good of others. It was not only how she was raised, but it was breed into her nature.

Anann gave a solemn nod to Alder’s question. There was no doubt of who it was he spoke and there was no need to ever speak that bastards name again. And now our King’s hands are bloodied, thanks to me. She felt guilty for the act that Vigilante had been forced, in her eyes, to commit. She should have been stronger, should have known better. She had been foolish to think that Keese would not stoop so low. It should have been her hands to be coated in his blood, that should have been her burden to carry.

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Alder · 08-19-2011, 10:29 AM

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Alder sat back onto his foot paws, and listened. She was cracked, on the outside and in. He could see beyond the solid gold of her eyes, the once bold and proud gaze that even held a bit ferocity were far less bright. Alder watched and was scared at what he saw in her. Anann had always been someone he had looked up to for strength, and this was giving him the same sensation that one might feel when seeing their parents cry. She spoke, guilt riddling her tone.

Alder leaned in close, sitting on his tail so that he was beside her now. It was like there was a secret around them, like he didn't want to her to exposed to any wandering eyes that watched her seem so defeated. Their King had killed him, it was obvious from those words. Alder cringed at the thought of killing another wolf, he could never have so much courage. But he knew right from wrong and those who did wrong needed to be punished. He is our King for a reason, he is dedicated to protect us. Like a mother or father protects their pup. Even Anu would kill for him, this he was sure of. One does not take up the rank of alpha unless they are willing to protect the balance of the their pack, death was the most extreme of that position but it was still possible.

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Anann Kelevra · 08-21-2011, 08:35 PM

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heh her eyes are dark brown actually, but your not the first to think they are gold lol

She should have known. She should have known from the moment he set foot on these lands that he would not leave. Not without her or as it had come to be, the child. Death had been the only thing capable of diverting him from that path and that should have been her burden to bear. She had been too late; over confident that she knew his limits. She wondered too, how different things might have been had she let Anatoliy and Vigilante drive him from the lands on that fateful day. One of many what-ifs. Still, Anann knew that she had followed her heart and more importantly no one else had been hurt.

Not physically.

Anann knew there was truth to Alder’s words. She had known what it was to be a leader and she too had taken lives for the sake of her people. She gave a slow and gentle nod. Such wise words from such a youthful heart. But it was not just the guilt for the blood on Vigilante’s hands that burdened her. She had hoped to carve out her own path, but destiny had played it’s cruel tricks and it seemed now her fate seemed set. It was the hopelessness that devoured her.

How have things been here? Noire is doing well?” She did not wish to dwell upon herself any longer.

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Alder · 08-25-2011, 10:43 AM

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woops! sorry

He was like his mother, and the boy would not push her to speak more about what had happened to her. Alder did not have the mind that would image all the horrid possibilities of her abuse, he wished deeply that she had only been abused as far as her scars could tell him. But the emotional depravity that Keese had forced her to endure was beyond the sweet boy's mind. So when she turned the subject over to the horses Alder was slightly relieved. Maybe she wasn't as hurt as he had thought. But that still didn't ease his concern for her.

Very well. Stuck to Lumiere's side though. he smiled small light grin, but it passed in a mere moment's time. They are a happy family. He commented. thinking back to the act that their King had been forced to commit. Forced was the wrong mindset, Alder truly believed that he was bound to the oath of protector just as his big brother was. A King and Knight must protect, and using violence was simply one pitfall of that dedication.

He wondered as he watched the horses, listening for their words (which were few and far between), if the roan mare and the black stallion were in love. He didn't know what it was like to fall in love, but the two were so close and kindly affectionate that it could be assumed. Do you think their in love? He asked her, his heart lightened slightly by the new topic.

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Anann Kelevra · 09-05-2011, 12:09 AM

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hmm what do you want to do about them?

Soon it would be time for weaning. Though there was no real need to press the matter as it could be left to take it’s natural coarse. So long as Noire was not too attached to his mother and Anann reckoned that he wasn’t. For Rem had managed to bring Noire to visit her once already. Who knew how many other times that colt might have been out without the knowledge of the Marshall. Rem could be rather sly about such matters. Alder was right, they were a happy family. Although Anann was not completely sure as to what kinda of an outlook horses held on family. She knew the creatures to be intelligent and did not think such a concept was beyond them as some might. Rem seemed to have a love of the youth of any species, really. Though he had never given any the sort of attention he gave to the roan pair. It had been Heath and Lumiere that had lead her here. She missed her friend terribly, but she was glad that he was not here to see her like this.

I do. She had taken her time in answering the question after having given it some thought. Their love was perhaps different than that of canines, for the herd animals were never known for the monogamy. Whether that truly changed the emotion any or not, though she really couldn’t say. She knew love, and she it’s pain, but she was no expert. I have never seen him treat another as he does Lumiere. A single mare does not usually hold his interests for long.

Anann was glad for the simple conversation and comfortable company. A pleasant distraction from the rest of her life and the new lives that grew within.

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Alder · 09-26-2011, 08:52 AM

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sorry for the wait!

It wasn't easy for the boy to look at the golden woman. Her scars tempted to make him shiver with fear, and he thought of the wolf that did those things to her when he looked at them. They were still red with pain and tender with the beginning stages of healing. Alder tired to focus on the horses, normally an easy task, and tired to be happy with the knowledge that she was indeed healing.

So Alder thought hard on his question and listened intently to her answer. Maybe they were in love, maybe it was the colt that kept them together as an obvious pair. Maybe it was their imagination creating this relationship. But the woman agreed, and Alder smiled softly. He was glad that someone found love in the world. The large wolf was not one know how such things developed, nor how they felt. Naive and still far to immature to truly know it was all just a fantasy.

I wonder what its like to be in love. He pondered aloud. The words had been spoken and in an instant Alder grew bashful, his face felt warm and his ears lowered slightly. Blue eyes avoided the female, looking at the horses instead. It was such a contrasting topic from what brought them together in the first place.

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Anann Kelevra · 10-01-2011, 03:49 PM

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<333 no worries!!

Anann could not help but give a light smile at his question, but it was far from mocking. She had waited years herself to know such a feeling and though she knew love she was still unsure how to put such a thing to words. Her own eyes were focused on the horses as well and so she did not notice the signs of Alder’s slight embarrassment at his own question. Anann was not one to often shy from eye contact, but she did not often like the looks she saw in the eyes of others lately. The pity and sadness that lingered in the eyes of others as they looked upon her. She did not want them to feel sorry for her; she didn’t need their pity. But she did need their company and support, even if she would not admit it. She would have truly be lost if it were not for those that still cared for her.

Thinking on Alder’s questions as the silence drew on, though not uncomfortably, brought back many pleasant memories from when she had first met the Russian that had won her heart. In hindsight it was easy to see that the attraction had been there since the first day they had met. At least for her it had. Back then it had all seemed so confusing. She had hardly understood her own feelings and had been so uncertain if Anatoliy had shared them. Getting past that barrier had been nerve racking, but afterwards it was so much more. Anann had never been happier than in the months before Keese showed up, when she had shared her home with Anatoliy. Still there was no simple summary for the emotion itself that came to her mind.

”Someday you will know.” She said softly, but with certainty. ”It can be confusing at first and often hard to distinguish from simple lust. You must trust in your heart to know when it is real. Even then it was not so simple. ”Love is a wonderful, powerful thing, but it can also be frightening at times.” In a way it was a weakness and Keese was right to say she had gone soft. Now that she had know love and had it in her life she feared not knowing it and the emptiness that would bring.

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