Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name

Savina Marino · 08-03-2011, 01:50 PM

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Back-dated to yesterday?

The sun was steadily making its descent from its apex as Savina walked down south beside the river. Even though her pace was fairly leisurely the Consul had a set destination and purpose—she needed to talk with her son. Not Silvano, but her first born. She was glad that Gotham had recognized that he had a problem and had come to her. The mother had expected that he would need some time to himself to figure things out and was not surprised when he settled down in the abandoned military base. However, now too much time had passed. Gotham's own personal brand of solitary confinement might have been healthy for a bit, but now it was going too far. He couldn't continue to cut himself off from everyone.

The Lenape River that ran peacefully by her side was like an old friend guiding her to her destination. Of course the Consul knew this land by heart, but she enjoyed being near water whenever possible. The Lenape might not have been the sea, but it lead to her precious ocean, and that was close enough for the Marino. Soon enough the overgrown camp came into view. Her body moved like a shadow between the dilapidated buildings and broken down machinery. Savina did not spend much time here, it had always given her an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that said you do not belong here. Ebony nose twitched when she caught the scent of her blue-eyed son. Gotham, accented tones called out softly.

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Gotham Phoenix · 08-03-2011, 08:39 PM

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Yes please! <3 And Gotham in my head is this mix of Gil Grissom and some teenage basement dweller. XD

It was uncommon for Gotham to wander far from his home. He had set up the room in a way he quite liked, filled with books and more books and a few insects kept in large glass containers. When he did go hunting, he stuck to his lupus form and kept to the south of the pack borders. Few people came so far down, and when they did he avoided them. Months had passed since he had tasted alcohol, and he was better for it. Now he could remember things, not simply the holes in his memory that so often arose when he drank.

The afternoon found Gotham alone, as he often was these days. His Optime form was massive, broad-shouldered and thickly built, but his previous definition had softened. This did not bother him—it felt good to be average again, to put on weight that had been lost when he substituted food for fire-water. Dark fingers turned through the pages of a large book, filled with pictures of butterflies and moths. These bugs were his favorite, moths in particular. Today, though, there were simply common butterflies.

His mother’s voice startled him, causing the dark wolf to drop the book. Bending over to pick it up, he sighed and began seeking her out. Worry and apprehension twisted his face, turning his blue eyes dark. “I’m over here,” he called back, taking care to brush the grass out of his book (but not fix his tousled hair); priorities, after all.

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Savina Marino · 08-04-2011, 04:13 PM

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Lmao! XD Speaking of insects and moths, we had one of these on our sliding glass door the other day, was cool :o

Ever since she had lost Denali, and nearly Artemis as well, Savina had been even more protective of her children than normal. Some of her panic about their well-being had subsided to a normal level, but the worries still lingered as they do for any parent. It was a little difficult to find a balance between being nurturing and protective but not smothering, especially in the case of her eldest litter. Cambria, Amata, and Gotham were fully adults in their own right and could run their own lives. Most times they had given her no cause for concern. Cambi and Amata particularly seemed to have things more or less together. It was only her son that had stumbled and until now she had felt it best to give him his space.

A short distance away she heard something fall to the ground and soon after Gotham's voice called back to her. Four limbs shifted quickly into two and a cascade of wavy raven hair fell down across her shoulders. Savina swept hair away from her eyes as she walked a little further and found her son with a book in his hands. The mother smiled warmly at her child as she approached him. One hand reached out to lovingly touch his face. I'm sorry if I startled you. At least she hoped that was the reason for his anxious expression; she never wanted her children to feel uncomfortable in her presence. How have you been? Emeralds looked into the dark blues with curiosity and hope.

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Gotham Phoenix · 08-07-2011, 12:38 PM

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That's awesome :O

The woman that approached was smaller than her son, but she carried herself better. He admired this in her, just as he admired the fact that his mother had maintained her position and this pack for as long as she had. It therefore further shamed him to recall the mistakes he had made, which had kept him self-contained for so long. Gotham smiled back at her, enjoying the touch of her hand, and he shifted his weight almost nervously . It had been a long time since she had come to visit him, and that meant she wanted something.

“Good, good,” he replied, tousled hair falling into his face. “I was just reading, and didn’t expect…well, anyone. People don’t really come here.” That was exactly why he had made it his home. While the human objects offered little more than oddly-shaped interests, he did find that the solitude was comfortable. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.” His voice betrayed the slight trepidation lingering within him. This wasn’t anything serious, he hoped.

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Savina Marino · 08-11-2011, 05:13 PM

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Yarp! Sending you a PM after I post this, btw.

It would be a lie to say she hadn't felt some disappointment at learning some of the behaviors her first born son had engaged in, but that did not mean she was ashamed of him. He was her son, and she would always love him. Plus, he was just as mortal as the rest of them as just as susceptible to follies and mistakes. Savina had made her own share of missteps and her own demons that shamed her—her behavior this winter had been one of them. The Consul had let her grief rule her and blind her to the need of her other children and her pack. It was an oversight she did not intend to make again.

Gotham was nervous, she could read it all over his body language. He likely knew she had come here for more than a simple visit. The mother hoped this would go well. It is a long way from the Manor, she stated obviously as she brushed the hair out of his face. Once a mother, always a mother, no matter the age of the progeny. I am doing quite well. Things have been quiet, normal. We all needed that after this winter I think. Her eyes trailed over his large physique to check his outward health before returning to lock onto the shocking blue pools he had inherited from his father. I thought you needed peace and quiet to sort things out, instead of me fussing over you. A somewhat sad smile crossed her face to show that she might have rather done the latter.

Might as well just say it, the Italian decided. You can't keep cutting yourself off from everyone Gotham. I know the patterns you got into scared you, as well they should have, but this is not the way either. Her slim ebon hand cupped his cheek. You need to return to the family and pack that loves you, in spirit and not just body. Savina could not bear to see her son waste away alone down here in these ruins.

300+

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Gotham Phoenix · 08-18-2011, 11:49 PM

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I am so slow. I am sorry. LOOK HE'S JUST LIKE MOMMA

Her gesture made him sigh and look away from her. It was embarrassing for him to have her fret over him, even now. A large hand rose to rub at his elbow, and he watched her expression change in subtle ways. Savina’s sudden change in conversation made his ears fall back in a puppyish manner, something he would never have displayed around anyone else. She was right. He knew she was right, but he was not here simply for himself.

“I’m afraid,” he began, pausing to take a deep breath. “I’m afraid that I’m going to make another mistake. Alcohol, women…they do something to me. I don’t know what is it.” He stepped away from her and shook his head, white teeth peeking from under his muzzle as he bit his lower lip. “I think there’s a monster inside me,” Gotham went on, finally looking to his mother. Her eyes were so different than her own. He sometimes wished he had green eyes, he had been stronger like her. “I don’t know how to control it. So I came here to keep you guys safe.”

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Savina Marino · 09-10-2011, 06:54 PM

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I'm the slow one x_x; YAY HEREDITY! X3

As his face turned to look away from her, Savina dropped her hand back down to her side. Gotham wasn't a boy anymore, but a grown man, even if he was still finding his way. She had to remember that. She would embarrass him otherwise. It was simply in her matronly nature to be physically affectionate to her children. His admission of fear honestly took the Consul a bit by surprise. Her son being scared had not been one of the reasons she had contemplated for his hermitage. But of course he would be afraid. Savina knew what it was like to fear yourself and what you could be capable of.

We're mortal, we cannot help but to make mistakes. It is what we choose to learn from those mistakes that matters, Gotham. When her son said he thought he had a monster inside of him though, a rigidness ran down her spine and pupils grew small in the sea of green that housed them. Her own demon was not something she discussed with her offspring. Savina was not proud of the dark force that dwelt in her. If anyone deserved to hear about it though, it was Gotham. Then you must learn to control it. Just...just as I did. An odd darkness had fallen over the woman's features. How she had hoped that her...problems had not passed down to her pups. It had been too much to ask.

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Gotham Phoenix · 09-16-2011, 12:12 PM

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foreverslow

Mistakes. All he had made since he had gotten it into his head he was an adult were mistakes. What if he had gotten that girl pregnant? What if, what if? His head was full of what-ifs and doubts. Black ears turned down into a mess of equally dark hair, his mother’s son in all ways but his eyes. Even these, though, were not like his father’s. Gotham was darker—perhaps because of the wickedness that lived in his soul. The weakness.

His mother’s reaction and response did not fall lightly on Gotham. He recognized these small things, as he had always looked for such small things in the world. Hesitantly, his large body stiffened. Was she angry at him? The dark wolf looked away, troubled. “I…I think I’m getting better. I haven’t had any urges in a long time. I started collecting bugs,” he admitted, feeling foolish and childish for resuming the hobby. Perhaps that might make her happy, make her shake this shadow that he sensed was wicked and awful and full of a darkness he had no desire to see.

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Savina Marino · 10-03-2011, 06:40 PM

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ditto

Perhaps it had been a mistake to keep her demon so buried around her children. If she had confided in Gotham earlier about her problems, would he have taken the path that he had? Savina did not, and could not, know the answer to that question however. There were thousands of decisions she had made she was unsure of, but she had made them and now she simply had to do the best she could with what she had. It was not an easy mindset to get into and often still she struggled with it. Her son needed to try as well.

She could tell immediately that the turn the conversation had taken made him uncomfortable. It was not easy to talk of these things, but they must, for both their sakes. That is good. You've always enjoyed insects, she said kindly. Savina wanted to encourage him in this, but that did not change the fact that there were more serious matters for them to discuss. We have to talk about our problems, caro. I know it isn't easy, but if we keep them bottled up inside of us they'll never get better. I learned that the hard way. She extended one arm and pushed up the thin fur, revealing the criss-cross of scars above her wrist. Her monster had nearly gotten her killed that day, and she had never forgotten that painful lesson.

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