small mercies

Anann Kelevra · 08-24-2011, 01:59 PM

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Private; miscarriage thread
Date: 8/15

Most days she was content to just be near him, watching him at whatever it was he was working on for the day. Her moods had improved since their talk. The air around them seemingly cleared of the tension that had been so stifling before, now that her pregnancy was open between them. Today was one of those days were she lingered nearby as the soft breeze coming in off the ocean was cool, heavy laden with the salty scent of the waters. It barely ruffled the dark amber fur of the she-wolf as she lay in the sheltering shadow of one the few trees along the shore. Anann watched Toliy as he worked on his boat, unable to much more than that. Without dexterous hands Anann found she was little use at all and could seldom offer any real help. She could still hunt on her own, though Anatoliy had discouraged her from this. Her large size was not suitable for hunting smaller prey. It was not nimble nor quick, but a massive hulking weight that could easily down a doe on its own. A task the Russian had insisted was not fit for a woman in her condition and she knew her love only had her best interest at heart. So she listened and submitted to his wishes.

Mentally, Anann was recovering. Anatoliy had given her the thread of hope she had needed. Without his support she would have been lost. The playful glint was leaking back into her dark brown eyes that had been dull and the smile that had become so rare was re-appearing with more frequency. Though the cloud that hung over her had not completely vanished. She was not feeling completely well and in the past few days her appetite had all but disappeared. There was an unease in her abdomen, but she had thought little of it. Anann assumed it was only her body adjusting to the growing lives. The threads of pain that cut through her in waves had started off light, hardly even noticeable, but their severity and frequency was growing.

Dark ears twitched back as a rather strong cramp cut through her. The pain no longer a dull nuisance, Anann felt sure something was not right and after the spasms of pain stopped she hefted her large form to her feet. "Tol," she called out softly, "I'm gonna head back for now." She would say she was fine, just a little sleepy if he questioned further and made her way back towards the inner streets of Lunenberg. She wouldn't make it far, just beyond Anatoliy's sight when the next spasms of pain hit her. Her legs shook under and buckled as it washed over her. A soft whimper leaked from her lips. As it faded instincts grabbed hold of the woman and lead her deep into the thicker portions of timber far from the scent of others and away from the house she shared with Toliy.

It was clear to her what was happening to her. Even as her mind was fogged with pain and even stronger instincts. She followed them, scrapping together a makeshift bed of leaves and other foliage debris. Circling a couple times before laying down atop the pile in the secluded and seemingly untouched thicket. Wave after crippling wave of pain washed over her. Her unwanted burden was expelled from her body, their lifeless, shapeless masses concealed within the rest of the nasty mess.

Time had lost all relevancy and Anann did not know how long she had laid hidden. Her body ached and she felt exhausted from the endeavour. Eventually the spasms of her core subsided and she stood up on shaky legs after she had cleaned herself. She covered the remains with the remainder of the improvised bedding and crawled from the thicket she had hidden herself in. She was disoriented at first and felt beside herself as if watching from the sidelines and with no control of the prior events. Evening had already begun to settle over the land as she walked the rest of the way home. Unsure of how exactly to tell Anatoliy what had happened. She felt no sorrow or sadness at the loss of her unborn children, only a sense of relief, though a pang of guilt came with it.

She nosed the door open, unsure he had returned home before her. "Anatoliy?"

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Anatoliy Russo · 09-17-2011, 11:34 PM

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:CCC sorry sooooorry sorry

Anatoliy had been working as diligently as he could with the sun beating hot down on him. Sweat was beading where his fur was the thinnest on his face, but he did not mind it as he toiled away. Occasionally he would wipe his brow clean and glance up at Anann with a light grin. But he would always turn back to the boat. It was almost done. Anann's voice cut through the air and she seemed to skulk away from the shadow trees back to their current home in the small town. He nodded at her in acknowledgement, knowing her life right now was not an easy one. Her pregnancy was coming in strong and she was surely feeling the pangs of it. But she had been scarcely eating lately and that worried him. He would get her something nice tonight and make sure she ate it.

He worked a bit longer, and then put away his tools. It was too sunny for him and he was growing more and more concerned for the woman who was back in his life. As soon as he entered the shadows, he felt the cooling relief it brought. But when he returned to the house, he knew she was not there. Her scent was strong but fading slightly from the day. She was not here. Heading through the home to the back door, Anatoliy walked around the town, smelling her scent more here and there. Something else was in the scent and it was a coppery smell. It unnerved him. "Anann?" he called out, almost frantic. She was not home, she was not where she ought to be. His worry was mounting.

Then he heard her call his name as he neared their home. He sighed in relief and approached her, worry in his eyes. "Anann.. vhat took you so long to come back?" He could smell the blood on her; it would be hard to wash away. "What happened?" he said with increased force, concern evident.

Anann Kelevra · 09-23-2011, 04:30 PM

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<333 no worries

Worry. Worry and concern were etched in hard lines across his face as Anann looked up at the Russo, turning away from the door. She wished Anatoliy would not worry for her so much. Wished that there had never been a need for him to feel such concern for her. She took a few steps forward before she jumped up. Fore-legs gripping around his waist, Anann buried her honey cream face in the pale fur of his belly. The awkward embrace was the best she could manage in this form, but she needed him and hugged him in this manner for an extended moment before she pulled her head away to look at him. To look at those beautiful golden eyes and his handsome face. I’m sorry, Anatoliy. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I lost them, Anatoliy. I lost them. Still emotionally numb from the event Anann did not know that she would ever mourn for the loss of the unborn children. She did, however, feel overwhelming relief. Her life was her own again and she could only assume that Anatoliy would feel the same. Surely he would not mourn the loss of Keese’s children if she did not. ”The key, do you have it?” Vigilante had left the key with Anatoliy and at the time she had refused to let him remove the chain around her neck. But now they were free from Keese’s burden. It was time.

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Anatoliy Russo · 09-23-2011, 05:38 PM

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The woman came at him, and before he could stoop down to her level, she awkwardly wrapped her paws and legs around his waist, burying herself in his belly. Surprised, the man absently put a hand on her head. Whatever was wrong, was not bad enough to hurt her that much. She was moving about, but still the man gave her a worried glance even though she could not see it. His face had a slight smiled on his lips, but it faltered when she looked up at him with those golden eyes of his. For a moment, Anatoliy did not understand. He was confused. But then it dawned on him. The smell of blood, and her sudden depression. The pups she carried were gone.

Anatoliy almost breathed a sigh of relief, feeling a grand weight come off of his chest. He had been afraid he could not properly care for the children she would have. But now it was Anann he focused on. But before he could console her about the loss of the pups of a rapist kidnapper, she mentioned the key. "Zhe key?" he mimicked, brain only mildly focusing on what she meant. "Oh, zhe key." He disentangled himself from her limbs and gently set her on the ground. Finding his spare pants, the man dug in a pocket and found the tarnished key. "You are sure?" he said, not hiding the hopefulness in his tones. He had wanted that chain off her when he found her in the shack.

Anann Kelevra · 09-26-2011, 05:39 PM

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He did not say anything after she had explained and she didn’t need him to. It was still obvious that he shared her relief. Anann could see it the way his face lightened and feel it in his body. She gave him a small, yet hopeful smile. Her unwanted pregnancy of another man’s progeny had been a heavy weight on the both of them. Freed from that burden Anann hoped that now she could reclaim the simple life that the two of them had known and shared before, but first she still needed to shed the chain bound around her neck. It had been a mark of the burden she had still carried and testiment to the claim of ownership that Keese had refused to forfeit. It’s weight, the weight of guilt on her heart that she had ever let such misfortunes befall on them and the betrayal of her body in giving life to the undeserving seed of that bastard. It was time to shed all these things and so it was eagerness that she had quickly shifted focus to the key.

Dislodged from her rudimentary embrace on Anatoliy, she quietly padded after him. Amber tail swayed behind her in a gentle wag as the Russian rummaged in a pocket of his spare shorts and produced the small key. Though he hesitated, asking if she was sure even when he had been reluctant to leave the chain bound when Vigilante had first brought them news of Keese’s death and the recovered key. Anann nodded, ”I’m sure.” A soft smile on her lips and those dark brown eyes appeared brighter than they had in moons. For the first time in what felt like an eternity she was once again free.

Besides the links of chain, there was also thin sheet of soft metal was also closed in the clasp of the lock. Resting nearly unnoticeable across the top of the lock. Scratched into the surface was a desperate man’s claim to a woman he could never hope to own and to the children that would never know life.

Anatoliy Russo · 09-30-2011, 07:20 PM

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Smiling with almost pure elation, the Russo knelt beside the woman he had rescued. On his knees, he could barely feel the rough dirt floor below as he gently nudged her toward him. With one hand cupping the cursed lock, Anatoliy forced the small key into the hole with metallic scrape. He turned it and heard the locking mechanism release with a satisfyingly loud click. It released, the metal slipping. The chain fell like metallic rain, clanking to the ground as the lock released its hold. The sound was beyond satisfying as the Russo gave a sigh of relief. He had not realized he had been holding his breath in the first place.

The Russian hybrid took the chains and coiled them around his hand. It was heavy, and it was still rather intact. Useful, even. But he did not want to look at them ever again, and the lock too. They would need to dispose of the evidence of crimes unmentionable. But where was appropriate? That was for later, this was now. "Zhere," he said softly, running a gentle hand across her neck where the chain had sat before. "No more of zhe eyesore."

Anann Kelevra · 09-30-2011, 08:33 PM

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Anann couldn’t help but smile back at him as Anatoliy knelled down next to her and she took a couple lick at his face before he was able to take hold of the lock. Once he did she stood still as stone, even her tail halted it’s wag as he worked to insert the key and give it a turn. The metallic sounds of the mechanism could be heard as the key turned, resulting a click before the weight of the chain simply fell away. It was then the large, yet gentle hand of her love she felt running along the path in her fur where it had laid for so long.

Anann gave a soft chuckle as he said the eyesore was gone and she took his words out of their intended context. Out of all her forms, her secui was the least attractive. Large and bulky there were hardly any feminine aspects to it’s appearance. It was not what Anatoliy had meant, she was sure, but she still intended to shed her halfling form as much as the chain that had helped bond her to it. She took a step back as she focused on the change, but her energy and strength were low. The process took a little longer than it normally should have and left her feeling even more drained.

Still it was worth it as she was able to stand and wrap her arms around the man she loved. Anann wasted little time in planting another lick on his face before burying her nose in the soft fur of his neck and chest. ”Thank you.” she said softly, little more than a murmur. ”For everything.” It was amazing to her that he still chose to stand beside her after everything she had put him through, everything Keese had put them through.

Anatoliy Russo · 10-01-2011, 08:35 PM

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The chain was gone and so was the claim Keese had on Anann's life. The children neither one of them rejoiced to have were gone as well. There would be no reminders of what the man had done to both of them, except for the scars both of them had, mentally and physically. He dropped it to the ground, and then stood as he saw the woman shifting her form. There was nothing wrong with it, but it was not the one he himself preferred for either of them. As she changed, which took longer than usual, the man watched her with a smile on his lips. He was relieved that there was nothing standing in their way now, after so long.

Anann rose on her two feet at last, and wrapped her golden arms around him. She gave him a loving lick, and buried her face into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her as well. He held her against him, knowing she must have been tired after her ordeal that day. They would need to clean up, he felt. If only they had a hot springs where they could cleanse themselves in heat and water.

Stroking her back, the Russo felt almost as though he ought to cry. He had missed the feel of her around him. She pressed against him, and she felt warm. "You know it vas all for you..," he said softly, stroking her hair. "You know I love you." His words were warm and sincere as he pulled her away slightly, hands gentle on her shoulders.

Anann Kelevra · 10-05-2011, 10:25 PM

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You can probably wrap it up with your next post <333

The feeling of being wrapped in his arms again was absolutely surreal after all that had happened in recent months. Anann gave him a tight squeeze as she felt his arms come around her. Her head rested against his chest and tucked under his chin. She had missed this feeling so much. Closing her eyes, Anann thought it possible that she could fall asleep standing here in Anatoliy’s arms. ”I know.” She said softly, but with soft whine that was more of a huff as he pulled her away slightly. ”I love you too, Anatoliy.” A soft smile on her face, though touched with fatigue. Gently she bumped his chin with her nose before giving him a kiss, though she was quick to lean back into him and rest her golden amber head against his chest. ”I feel so tired,” the words spoken into the fur of his chest. She wanted to lay down and her body needed the rest but she did not want to let of Anatoliy either. She was so content to listen to the drum of his heart as her head lay against his chest and the feel of strong arms wrapped around her. ”Lay with me?” She asked as she pulled away to look up at the Russo. Heavy eyelids left her eyes half covered already. The day had taken its toll on her and her body now demanded it’s rest.

Anatoliy Russo · 10-06-2011, 05:25 PM

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I'll let you archive it when you're done reading or let me know or whatever.

Anatoliy smiled absently as she tucked herself into him after he told her he loved her. It was always true and he doubted that it was going to change any time soon. He stroked her hair gently as he closed his eyes. The scent of stale blood was still there, but the Russo figured that there was just not enough energy left in her to take to the stream. They could that later. He gave her an extra squeeze as she asked him to lay with her. While he was not that tired, he knew she must have been exhausted. It was a miracle that she had been able to make it back and shift to boot. He knew from back home, that the women after birth were tired and longed for sleep.

The Russo scooped up the golden woman into his arms, carrying her laughing, protesting body to the bed a few scant feet away from the two of them. Twisting so that she slightly on top of him when he fell to the bed, Anatoliy lay her against the wall, wanting to play the guard. He stroked her hair again, taking her by the hand as he inhaled her scent. "Don't need to ask." He had a smile on his face, which seemed so foreign to him now. Maybe soon it would be nothing but common.

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