WARNING: This thread contains material exceeding the general board rating of PG-13. It may contain very strong language, drug usage, graphic violence, or graphic sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.
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Jace Wolfe
Word Count:: 500 || OOC::
She ran, in her dream she ran as fast as she could. An unseen menace chased her through the dark and forbidding forest. Unseen he was but she knew the cruel and mocking laugh that followed her like smoke, always taunting and never left behind. Lucifer chased her through the darkness that seemed to be caused by his blackened soul and pelt. All around her the laughter seemed to come from, echoing through the trees until the female hybrid was completely turned around in her own mind and was unknowing of which way to run and which way she had come from. Panic set into her bones, making breath hard to take in and quick to leave, short bursts of air that neither soothed her burning lungs nor cured her aching muscles.
In the darkness something moved and she automatically reached down for her knives only to find that they were missing from their sheaths. A cold wind flickered against her fur, and through the blackness the squeak of a newly born pup floated to her, she had heard it only once before yet knew its owner as though it were her own howl. She staggered towards it, suddenly her legs didn't want to support her weight. She reached the bundle of fur as the suffocating gloom and picked him up. As she did a flash of silver caught her eye and in a motion quicker than she could react to her own knife plunged towards the child in her arms. Sensing his own death coming for him her son squeaked again, a high pitched cry that spoke of the pain to come and his helplessness against it. The sound tore at her heart and yet she wolfdog was riveted to the spot, unable to move as the deadly weapon came down.
She woke with a start, a gasp falling from her lips and her arm already raising as though to ward off a blow that would never come. Her heart pounded its high speed beat in her ears as she swung her legs off of the bed, the wood floor was cool against her paws. Behind her the slow, even breathing of Temo was all that broke the silence of the room. From the window she could see that the sun was nowhere close to rising and the moon still visible in the sky and stars twinkled beside it. She listened to his breaths, timing her own in to fall with it and slowly the calm tempo slowed her rapid heart and stopped her hands from shaking but there was no escaping from her emotions. Rage and grief burned through her, branding her on the inside in a familiar way that also somehow managed to be completely new as well.
She sighed deeply and laid back down, the old bed creaked and protested under the fresh application of her weight but only while she was moving, as she lay still once more its complaining stopped and it settled down.
finally, i can write again. at least for the moment. | +332
His heart was beating fast pumping fear throughout his body as he raced through the woods. He could barely see where to run in the near total darkness. The trees seemed to reach out to grab him or trip him. The trees that were his friends had now seemed to turn against him. "Why was he running?" he asked himself, "What was i running from?" Before he could think of an answer the fear was replaced by something else. He was still running, not away from something, but towards something. He was now filled with a desire, an evil desire. The ground seemed to shake beneath him...
Temo woke up with a start, his heart felt like it was trying to pound it's way out of his chest. The bed squeaked and shifted as Jace settled back into bed. He realized that it was Jace returning to bed that had woken him up. He laid there quietly watching her silhouette lay next to him as he pushed the fading memories of his nightmare into the dark reaches of forgetfulness. His heart calming to a more normal and restful pulsing.
As he laid there in the dark with some moonlight shining into the room, his thoughts turned to why he had a nightmare. He could not think of anything that had happened recently to cause it. He had been feeling like Jace and he were slowly drifting apart for a while but with the pack move to the new territory and the claiming of a house to be theirs seemed to have turned that trend around. Jace seemed to be coming back to him and he was happier now, so why was he having night mares now. His thoughts drifted around but could not put a claw on a reasonable explanation other than it was a dream and sometimes they are nightmares. Temo closed his eyes to the moonlit dark and fails to go back to sleep.
She felt him snap to wakefulness from slumber, his motions jarring the mattress and heard his breathing quicken. She sensed within her soul more than felt with any of her senses the nightmare that had haunted his sleeping hours and disturbed him so. Now that her mind had been woken to the world it refused to switch back off and the niggling awareness irritated her. Beside her Temo's breathing did not deepen or slow to indicate he had fallen back to sleep, it seemed they were both going to be kept awake by their night terrors. A second time she sat up and shifted her legs off of the bed and onto the floor, ashen fingers rubbed at her eyes and in the moonlight that poured in through the window, the scars Lucifer had inflicted onto her back shone with an eery luminescence that belied their evil nature.
Weight settled onto paws that splayed under it as she stood slowly and gracefully, her bushy tail flickered behind her as she padded silently to the door of their bedroom. She could feel his eyes on her back, the dark gaze burned into her and made her shiver just a little in a kind of anticipation. Her head turned slightly and her words were barely a whisper but he would still hear them, lupine ears assured that,
"Are you coming?" Not waiting for an answer she slipped quietly out of the room, she didn't need to hear him answer. She knew he would follow. The hallway was cast in shadows turning the world into a mirage of black and white, her own whites were dampened down in the dark. The kitchen was the same as the hallway except the moon's light that streamed in gave it a silvery glow, her eyes saw through the gloom so she had no need to light candles. She rummaged about and found one of the waterskins they kept, pouring the cool liquid into a metal pot she awoke a small fire and set the pot into it to boil the water. She returned to the cupboards, searching about for the unopened tin of cocoa powder she had seen earlier, expecting Temo's arms around her waist any second now.
ooo 2 posts in one day, who am i and what did you do with the real temo? | +303
Temo felt the bed move and heard the springs squeak when Jace got up and out of the bed. He did not open his eyes as he remained laid on the bed but he knew where she was. His ears heard her pad across the room and his whiskers detected the minute air currents that were produced as she moved and his nose twitched as he breathed in her scent. While he laid in the bed his eyes moving under their lids as they followed her, he pondered what she was up to and considered if he would follow or not.
His eyes opened and looked at her questioningly when her words "Are you coming?" floated to his ears from across the room. He watched her form disappear through the doorway and as his eyes looked upon her back and saw the scars his mind flashed some images of the nightmare that plagued him this morning. He mentally pushed them back to the dark recesses of his mind.
After a few moments he could hear her messing about in the kitchen sounding like she was cooking something. Temo swung his legs out of bed and stood up. He reached for the ceiling and stretched his spine out, some joints popping as he stretched. He slowly padded his way through the black and white world of night out of the bedroom and down the hall, the moonlight streaming after him. Making his way through the kitchen to Jace, his nose picking up the scent of chocolate mingled in with smoke. His arms encircle her around the waist as he gives her a hug from behind careful not to pull her away from what she was doing. "What are you doing? he asked her as he peered over her shoulder.
She was spooning the chocolate powder into two chipped and aged mugs when warm arms enveloped her waist and she relished the sense of calm and security that came with it. She leaned back against his chest for a second before twisting around in his arms and nudging his nose with her own, a fun smile twisting her lips,
"You'll just have to wait and see." But instead of turning back to her work she leaned forwards into him and rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent and letting it permeate her entire being. She pulled her head back a bit and stared into his dark eyes, displaying only tenderness and love in her gaze and murmured words of love and affection in her native tongue, the language slipping off of her tongue several times easier than english did. A hand drifted upwards to rest against his furred cheek.
Over in the fireplace the water in the small pot began to steam giving her some idea of how far along it was in boiling, drawing her attention away from the black wolf within her grasp. With a small disappointed sigh she made to pull away and return to her task of making hot chocolate for them both,
"You can sit down if you want, it'll be ready in a minute or so." She grabbed a towel from the side and moved to pull the pot with the boiling water in it from the small fire, the warm glow of the flames illuminating the room with its flickering orange light, creating a restful atmosphere. She felt herself finally relaxing from the terror of her nightmare, muscles slowly loosing their tension as she added water to the two mugs containing the chocolate powder and stirred it with a spoon. Her ears flicked as she heard the whisper of Temo's footsteps as he moved to sit down upon the sofa. The spoon was deposited in the unused sink and the two mugs picked up, they were big mugs with large handles, perfect for clunky luperci hands instead of human ones. She handed Temo his own steaming cup and settles down next to him.
A quiet chuckle eminated from his muzzle at Jace's reluctance to tell him what the drink was that she was making. Temo padded over to the sofa and sat down being careful not to sit on his tail and bending it painfully into a kink. With his head laid back and eyes closed, he rubbed the sleep and reminants of the bad dream from his eyes with his hands.
His ear twitched at the noise of the spoon being deposited into the sink with a clank. When he heard her padding towards him, he lifted his head up and opened his eyes. He admired her approching form as his olfactory senses caused his nose to twitch at the pleasant odor of the steaming mugs wafted in his direction. His ears perked forward with interest as he took the mug that she offered him.
After waiting a few moments for Jace to sit down next to him on the sofa and settle herself on the cusions. He breathed in the chocolate scented steam that was rising from his mug before gently blowing across the surface of the dark liquid contained within. With a quiet sip, he took in some of the hot liquid and let it roll around on his tongue before letting it run down his throat to his stomach. He had chocolate before, but not as a hot drink. "This is really good," he said with a whisper so as not to spoil the quiet and happy moment that they were having with the hot chocolate.
With his eyes closed and head laid back he looked almost innocent, it made her smile, she alone knew the truth of his desires but that still didn't stop her from occasionally viewing him through the eyes of others, now was one such occasion well until he brought his head back up and stared at her with an open look of admiration, she gave him a grin and sashayed her hips some as she walked. She exhaled happily as the chocolate tingled on her tongue and leaned back against the sofa, relaxing into it.
Now that the dregs of her nightmare had finally been washed away and real life came flowing back to her she could tell it was time again, time to procreate and pass on their lines to the next generation. She could tell Temo felt it as well, it was hidden in his movements and the way his nostrils flared every so often. She rubbed her head against his arm like a large cat, murring almost inaudibly. She felt almost callous, it had only been several short months since their first had passed on and the shock and despair of it still stung but the wolfdog was not seeing that now, all she could see was something else to fill the empty hole and heal them both.
He sipped at the mug of hot cocoa and rolled the liquid around the mouth with his tongue. The aroma and taste of the sweet liquid chased away the final wisps of the nightmare into oblivion. For a few moments, he had no worries to worry about. He cleared his mind and focused on the chocolate taste that permeated throughout his mouth, forgetting his fears and worries for a few moments.
All too soon, his mug was emptied into his stomach and his mind came back to the here and now. There was something that was nagging at him. One of those things that sit at the back of your mind, in the dark. One of those things that you know you should know but do not know.
His innocence and inexperience was not helping his thoughts try to order themselves. An ear twitched to her direction to try and hear her murring and his sigh of quiet happiness was almost as silent as her murring against his arm. Then, in the quiet moment they were having together, everything in his mind clicked together. Temo realized what Jace's body signals and scents were telling him.
Temo's breath caught for a few moments as the revelation brought forth all the memories that he had suppressed. That night under the log where Jace told him about the rape. Where they made love and after it was to late, how much pain she was in then. The memories of the pups that died seconds after birth. The anguish he felt seeing her in such pain. He could not bear to see her in such pain again, in such anguish again. He now knows what her body was wanting, but his love for her and the memories and fear of causing her pain and innate desire not to cause her pain and suffering is preventing him from supplying.
She heard his breath catch and felt the tension spike through him, her own body tensed up in response unwillingly and uncaring of the female's mental direction. She leaned forwards and placed her still half full cup onto the floor, cursing softly as the chocolate liquid slopped over the rim and onto her paws and the carpet. She frowned and her ears fell backwards as she moved closer and took his empty cup from his paws and also set in on the floor next to the couch. She shifted herself and moved so that she was straddling his lap, one leg at either side of his, bent at the knee so that she was almost kneeling on the sofa.
She cupped his face in her hands and placed a soft doggie kiss on the edge of his nose, humming softly in her throat. Huge and sad eyes stared out at him with unshod tears glimmering in them, she hated to see him so upset. Pressing herself in close to him she stroked his cheek with soft touches before whispering in an almost strangled voice,
"Please, tell me what you're thinking, what you feel, I need to know." Maybe if she understood how he was feeling these emotions then she could help him work through them, she hummed again low in her throat, this time a children's lullaby she knew from her birth pack.
His eyes watched her hands as they took the cup and set it on the floor. then they watched her as she positioned herself on his lap facing him. His eyes close as her hand strokes his cheek. His eyes open and his ears rotate forward as she spoke to him. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out trying to calm his inner turmoil. He was not sure himself and she was asking him to explain it to her.
A wave of sadness washes over him and his ears droop and the sadness swirls around in the back of his eyes. He had spent his young life and early adulthood alone and keeping is thoughts and emotions to himself. This was going to be hard as his fears rise up that she would take what he says wrong and be hurt by his words. Or worse.
"I..." he started but could not continue. He averted his eyes and takes another deep breath and slowly let it out. He takes her hand that she stroked his cheek with into his hands and gently held it. Bringing his eyes back to hers, "You were hurt," his voice was quiet, "and I was part of that." He paused for a moment in an attempt at collecting his thoughts. "I felt real bad causing you pain, making your injuries worse and, in some small way, i feel I violated you because you were injured."
He went quiet for a moment before he continued, "Then...," he continued but his voice failed him. For a few moments, he remained silent with his head down and eyes closed. When he raised his head back up and looked her in her eyes, his eyes wet with tears that he was fighting back. "Then..." he started again, "Then, when our first pups died at birth," he finally whispered out. "You were in pain, in anguish." Temo took a deep breath, "I... I thought I had lost you." This was hard for him and he hoped she would not hate him as a tear managed to break through, "I... I cannot put you through all that pain, suffering and anguish again." his voice a whisper, "I do not want to hurt you.".
She waited with the patience of a human saint as he tried to gather himself together. Then again as his words failed him and he looked away from her as though the contents of the room could give him his answer. Her paw squeezed around his reassuringly as he took hold of the ashy grey appendage. She knew that he had trouble saying what he felt and not keeping it all inside but she also knew that if he did not share then eventually destroy him on the inside, eating away at him like some carnivorous and vile insect.
His words struck home true and hurt her, guilt clawed at her insides. It was her fault, everything was her fault, her stupid pride and false sense of safety had killed their first children and made his perceived violation of her necessary. She had made him hurt her and now it was killing him. Flashback burned within her eyes and she saw the violence that had been craved on that night by her and the knife she had almost sunk into his black furred head, the very same one that sat on the floor next to their bed. His words were obscene and yet non truer had been spoken, as she had said to herself, everything was her fault.
Her free paw reached up and caressed his cheek brushing away the tears that fell, she did not like to see them falling, and again was struck as she had also caused the need for this conversation, pressuring him into talking. Pain, violence and blood were her rewards or perhaps her punishment. Was Jefferson right? Was she truly mad and evil inside? Quietness was the essence of her voice, for speaking too loudly could break their fragile strings, but because it was quiet did not mean it was dead and the impact was as though she had screamed the words out loud instead of whispered,
"No, never. I'll always accept you into mine heart and mine body, no matter what state i'm in." She was a coward, this she knew. She had left her sister to die at the hands of the patrol when it should have been her bringing up the rear, shielding her younger twin. She had left Temo to deal with his demons alone, whilst she had wallowed in her own self pity and the uselessness of her supposedly fractured mind, now she could see herself again putting him through the torture of thinking his beloved had descended into lunacy. Shame prickled up her spine and she shifted slightly, flexing paws that she could no longer feel through the pins and needles.
"Their death was my fault. I was stupid and arrogant, I thought I could protect myself but clearly not." And she had killed them, she might as well had put a knife to their throats and spilled their crimson lifeblood onto the ground. She was not worthy to carry children of even the most disgusting of monsters, let alone the one who deserved the most from her. But here she was again, demanding things from him that she knew caused him pain and sadness and as though drawn to it like a moth to a flame she could not throw away its idea, this was her chance at atonement, to do right again by him showing that she truly was a creature of selfish desires and uncaring feelings, she buried her head in his chest, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. Coward that she was,
No, you can't hurt me. You never hurt me, you saved me from myself and from the demon. Pain kept me alive and sane but you never hurt me."
took me forever to write this post, and it's crap. sorry. | +247
He could hear their hearts beat in the quiet that followed. Temo moved his free arm to encircle around her shoulders. He hoped it would provide some comfort for her, as it did for him to hold her. A few more tears rolled off his muzzle before he managed to stop them. The universe shrank down to only include them. Only their breathing and hearts beating filled the quiet that permeated their universe.
Temo sat in the quiet holding Jace, not knowing what to say. He had not expected this reaction from her. For some reason that he could not fathom, he had expected her to be mad at him. He felt that things would go wrong whenever he talked about his feelings, the few times that he tried, it had always gone wrong somehow. He breathed a silent breath of relief that she was not mad at him.
The quiet seemed to drag on and he still did not know what to say. His voice almost a whisper, as if trying not to disturb the quiet around them."You are my heart, my soul, my life. I do not want to hurt you and it bothers me so when you are hurt." He went quiet for a few moments more and continued, "The fault is..." he faltered for a moment, "The fault is ... ours." he managed to continue. "We both are to blame and in that, I feel I had failed you."
She felt his arms go around her shoulders a heaved a deep sigh before lapsing into a heavy silence that weighed down on her shoulders like the tree that had crashed down upon her during the snowstorm, she had felt the pain of that then as well. Like him she had no idea how to progress with their unwanted and frankly now hated conversation. She wished she had never gotten up from the bed to wander out here, she wished she had simply jut turned over and cuddled him and gone back to sleep even if it was back into the grip of her nightmares and horrors, anything was better than putting him through this, maybe Lucifer had done more to her thank simply put scars onto her back and unwanted children into her stomach,
His voice was a whisper but their closeness allowed no room for misinterpretation or mis-communication, the words he spoke made her heart swell and then deflate in the span of a few seconds, was he saying that he didn't want to try again?
"I can't promise you that everything would go perfectly, I can't promise that all would survive or be alive, the weaker ones often don't make it, that is life's way, the strong survive and the weak perish. Every woman knows this, there will always be the ones that die before their time but that doesn't mean that they are any less loved or.. or that they are forgotten but we have to move on, for both our sakes, we can't live in this shadow forever or it will consume us and force us apart. I don't want that." This was her last attempt to convince him to try again, if he refused then she would ask again no more, now and in future, potentially binding herself to a life without children.
All he could do at the moment was to hold her close to him. He did not know what to say nor did he know what to do. The sound of his heart beating seemed to fill the room and pounded in his ears. The feeling that she was slipping through his fingers, that there was a possibility that he might loose her had returned. The tears welled up into his eyes once more.
The silence dragged on before he found his voice again, "I am aware that everything does not always go perfectly and that sometimes they do not make it, for whatever reason." A quiet pause as he took a few slow breaths. "There are two in my heart now and there will always be room for any that do not survive. Yes, the pups not surviving was heartbreaking, but that and what happened before was hard on you, both physically and mentally." He went silent again as a tear escapes his eye and rolls off his muzzle.
"At one time, it seemed that I would never have an opportunity for children of my own, then, while traveling through the countryside, I met a wolfess and she brought that dream back to me. Then it happened and you seemed so lost and distant, the dream was fading away. I would love to have children, but I do not want to loose you if there are complications caused by the injuries that you received those months ago. Loosing you I cannot bear to even contemplate. "
It was like a load taken from his shoulders and he felt free now. It was like he could breath easy again and he hoped she can understand his feelings better. Temo lowers his head down and lightly kisses the top of Jace's head. He tightens his arms around her and hugs her tighter. He whispers into the top of her head, "Please do not be angry with me, I do love you a lot."
The tension that was permeating the room seemed to have drained away. Jace seemed to have relaxed in his arms, at least that is what it seemed like to Temo. After a few quiet moments together with her in his arms and his chin rested on the top of her head, her scent once again started to permeate throughout his being. Temo stood up, awkwardly because he was still holding Jace and was trying not to jar her. He sidles down the hallway to the bedroom and set down onto the bed. Still holding her in his lap, he nuzzled her ear and cheek.
after a god awful wait i can finally write for this
5+
Subtlety had never been a characteristic he had owned really, preferring direct methods of communication so his words were short and to the point, easily understood. She wanted to rid herself of him as much as he wanted to be rid of her, which was never. If they had been within the confines of her birth home it was likely they would have had to lose many litter's worth of children before any managed to survive through the arctic winter. Her own mother had been incredibly lucky, so much so that some had suspected that the gods were involved somehow and that Jace and Elsie were prophesied children, extremely special and to be worshiped in some manner. Not only had her first born survived but both born alive had lived on to adulthood, the small boy had been stillborn. Jace would have been able to cope better being immersed amongst the women of her birth pack, the ones that knew and understood and that could have helped her and stopped her sinking down into depression that eventually pushed her to murder. None that lived in the Denahlii pack did not understand the heartbreak and sorrow of losing both the young born and the old that were past their prime, it was engraved onto all their souls, a tattoo that would never wear out or fade with age.
Alone within her customs and traditions now, the hybrid had to hold up the weight of keeping them sacred, a feat that was very difficult for many she was not qualified to perform or were in fact impossible to perform without other pack members there. The birth of new children, the next generation would lessen her burden as well as revive her lost heart that had died with the other two, despite the blood introduced from outside they would still belong to the arctic pack. The shewolf clung onto him as he stood and returned them to their bedroom and sat down on the bed, a soft sigh left her maw as she brushed her hands over his shoulders caressing the fur covered muscles,
"I promise you I won't do anything to put myself in danger, I'll keep myself safe this time. When I'm further along I'll stop going to the borders and stay at home, I'll keep them safe." Her nose trembled and twitched as though she would start crying again but she held herself in check, no more tears would fall tonight. Instead she took several deep breaths to steady herself, breathing his life and soul into her so that it bound her to him in chains of love and devotion, letting it fill her up and make her whole again in a way no one else could, not even her lost sister. She closed her eyes to the world around her and simply existed.
Her breaths quickened again from the slow, relaxed state as he nuzzled against her, she pushed her head back against his gently, her eyes closing with a soft murr.
"That is all I ask of you," was his quiet reply into her ear, "And I will stay around close by and help protect you, and protect them and help in caring for them and you." he finished his quiet response into her ear. He closed his eyes and gently put his cheek to her cheek and nuzzled at her neck just under her ear. The massaging feel of her touch on his back, shoulders and arms was something that he had missed and almost forgotten about all these months that they were in their own depression.
Her scent that he breathed in and her gentle touch relaxed the tension that had been building up in his muscles and thoughts from before they had started their talk. His muzzle came up to hers and he nuzzled her muzzle in a wolf kiss and his hands moved slowly up and down her back and combed his fingers through the fur of her back and shoulders.
He could sense her breath was quickening as his was following suit. He could feel his heart was beating a bit faster as he could feel the sensation of need grow in his groin. He pulled her in tighter to him and her touch against him was electrifying to his skin. He spent several long moments just holding her close to him and continued to breath in her scent in through her fur as he nuzzled her.
The pheromones that her body were putting out got into his blood stream and started their work on him. He gently picked her up and shifted her from his lap to the bed where he sat next to her and continued to hold her to him and nuzzled at her neck and let his fingers explore her back and shoulders and run through her soft fur.
She clutched him to her closer, he was her anchor in a sea of bad feelings and numbness, keeping her afloat and stopping her from drifting off to be consumed by the tide and waves. He was her lifeline, her anchor to the shore and the lifeguard that carried her back to land despite the risks to himself. She pushed her face close to his and hummed gently. The spark that had drawn her to him as a scared and frightened young girl was still present despite the hardships they had endured together, they had grown up together from that moment on and now he was no longer a boy and she no more a girl, they were man and women. If anything their troubles and pain had strengthened that bond and fueled the already burning passion.
They were carved from stone together, still and silent with only the sounds of their hearts and quiet rush of their breaths to break the calm that settled. His paws began to move and hers followed his lead, caressing fur and skin, feeling the heated flesh beneath her palms. He was like a drug to her, and she was an addict. Constantly craving more and more of him. Only this high had no end or side effects apart from making her dopey and soft, the inner ice chipped away. She didn't feel the need to reply to his words other than with a soft purr.
