So much had happened since the founding of Cercatori d’Arte, and it seemed that the infant pack was forced to mature at an alarming rate. This harsh world spared no obstacles when it came to the young pack, and it seemed that the ragtag band of imaginative misfits was forced to grow at an alarming rate. Looking around at the d’Arte lands, the pay off of all of these hardships was evident; from the way the pack proclaimed ‘this is our land!’ with the flamboyant decoration of the border tree, to how most of the old, dilapidated buildings of Thornbury now stood proud and welcomed curious patrons. It was all so grand that you could hardly tell that the lands had been settled on the back of Tragedy.
Dawn was finally beginning to smile on d’Arte, with the return of the Takekuro-Menue-Moonsong family… even if they were still a little confused… and the pack was finally beginning to work past the horrors that had transpired here. It was all just a fact of life – not even the most perfect of packs could circumvent times like these. Not even the peaceful tribesmen of AniWaya.
Orin thought about the dismay she had seen written in the young girl’s eyes when she met Ayasha. The girl was barely a teenager yet already she was so grown up. The daughter of Ralla was forced to be brave, for her pack, and had defied all odds when she met Orin and Shawchert on the border that day, petitioning them for help. Orin stared down into Thornbury’s well, but instead of seeing her own reflection, she saw Ayasha’s pleading, blue eyes.
“Mrrrow?” Her ears perked and she finally turned away from the water, looking past the brick cylinder at an orange tomcat. She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head.
“I don’t know lowspeak, little guy,” she replied to the feline, who made a show of looking indignant as his tail twitched. He chirped again before deciding the white Luperci wasn’t worth his time. He turned and sauntered off, heading down an alley and back towards the sewing shop.
300+
Shiloh had been at it again. Walk... ignore the pain.... walk she thought as she ventured away from the house she had been stuck in for weeks. She was able to make it to the steps outside now with out much pain and she had fixed her splint so it set her ankle better. She was still feeling the sharp pains of healing on her stomach but the wounds were closing up nicely. She still wasn't able to change the gauze wrappings by herself but she knew if she had to she could how for someone to help her. She knew she would need fur clothing for the winter and was trying to find someone or a shop she could hopefully trade with when she got back to AniWaya... If she ever wanted to go back. Shiloh had been thinking a lot lately about AniWaya and the people she had left behind. She had only just seen Ayasha who was worried about her. She missed the white wolf and her family. But was going back to AniWaya worth the trouble. She told herself she wouldn't go back if Maska was in power and his guards still around.
She hobbled from one building to another and was just turning the corned of another building when she slammed right into someone. "Aieeeeee!" she exclaimed as she tried to catch her balance and grabbed at the person she had bumped into as she started to fall. She hit the ground kind of hard and stay where she fell. She had tweaked her ankle some and it throbbed something awful as she gasped though the pain that clouded her vision. She was lucky none of her whip marks had opened and as she attempted to roll over she hoped the person she had ran into wasn't staring at her like Bangle and his family had. She was already self conscious and people tended to stay away from scarred people like her.
Distracted as she was, Orin didn’t hear the injured woman walking just around the alley corner until it was too late. Something crashed into her, and Orin let out a scream. After all she’d been through, she earned the right to be jittery and scream bloody murder when something she wasn’t expecting slammed into the back of her.
She lurched forward, lunging away from danger, every inch of her hair standing on end, much like the old tom she’d been talking to would have done. Her foot paws connected with the ground once more and she spun around to confront whatever evil was after her… but found nothing more than an wounded woman.
Orin gasped, a shock of sympathy jolting through her as she saw the multiple gashes and bandages that adorned the gray woman. “Oh my GOD!” she yelped. It never occurred to her that the woman might be self conscious of all of her bandages. Instead, Orin did what Orin does best, react emotionally.
She moved to the woman’s side and crouched down. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what the woman had been through, or how badly it must have hurt her to be knocked to the ground like that. She held her hands out, trying to stay her. “Don’t move, you’re hurt.” Well DUH! “Stay here, I’ll go get help.” She was about to take off, to run to one of her pack mate’s house to find someone who could check the scarred woman over and then carry her back to her shelter; the very shelter that she’d been cooped up in for days and that was probably giving her cabin fever by now. Still, Orin didn’t know any of this, and she was far too tiny to pick the woman off of the ground herself.
300
The strangers exclamation didn't help Shiloh at all. She tried to roll over again and managed to get to her side when she felt the stranger touch her, trying to keep her from moving. It was in that moment she found out that the person she had bumped into was a woman... and she looked ready to bolt. "Wait... Don't leave me.... Just help me onto my back please," she said reaching for the woman. Shiloh looked up at the woman softly and noticed that her front had gotten dirty again. She would have to have someone change the bandages again and she sighed as her ankle throbbed painfully. She knew she must look horrible for the woman to react the way she did.
"They aren't all that bad Ms. Most of them I got months ago from a fire that took my family from me. The newer ones were from....a beating I didn't deserve. My name is Shiloh Grant of AniWaya... what is yours? she asked softly, never taking her jade eyes of the white and cream female. There was something about her that reminded her of home and she didn't want her to leave her just yet. She touched the woman's hand softly, hoping she didn't cringe away from her. Maybe this woman could be her new friend. She always wanted new friends. Shiloh was still new to these lands and she wondered how far she was from the bathing pool. She wanted a bath badly. Would this woman help her to it? Only one way to find out. "I was looking for someone that made fur clothing for winter but now that I am dirty again I need a bath. Will you help me?" she asked looking away. She was ashamed she had to ask for help. She was tired of being weak.
ooc: Wow, your rp really inspires me. I already love this thread.
700+
IC:
When one foot was off the ground and the Tundra woman was poised to rush off, the woman suddenly cried out 'wait!' Orin jerked to a stop and turned back to her, staring down at the woman with concern. The gray wolf's condition was horrifying, how could she afford to dawdle? Orin was about to ignore her request and run for help anyway, but something in that broken face made her stop. Perhaps it was the depth of need in the woman's tortured eyes. Something there held her steadfast.
“I won't leave you alone,” she promised as she crouched next to the woman. Why didn't she want help? If not for the woman's bandages, Orin would have sounded the alarm then and there, thinking someone must have come into d'Arte and attacked the woman. But the bandages were there, these were aged wounds that somebody was caring for. Still, they looked like aged wounds that would renew if she stayed out here like this.
Not all that bad? Orin looked her over again. Maybe she hadn't seen herself in a mirror yet. Well, I sure as hell am not going to be the first to show her. Yet something in the back of Orin's mind told her that the girl wouldn't be all that shocked. Some of her markings were old, healed-over wounds that were now bare scars where fur would never grow again. It was horrible; it was ugly. The second Orin birthed the thought in her mind she felt ashamed, and she banished it, mentally admonishing herself for insulting the helpless woman. She shouldn't think these things about someone she didn't know, about someone who couldn't help how they looked. Still, it was there, niggling at the back of her thoughts and tearing at her conscience.
She supported the woman as she adjusted, helping her roll over like she asked and making sure it was as gentle as possible. Her small hands were careful when she touched the gray one, but she couldn't help but cringe, knowing she must be hurting her bruised flesh no matter how hard she tried not to.
A fire – so that was this woman's monster. Some fiend followed each of them, as Orin learned, but this one was a different kind of beast. She wanted to make some comment to ease the woman's trouble, but there was nothing she could say that would take away what happened. Before she had to think of something, the woman continued with her introduction.
“Ah!” Orin gasped and covered her mouth. “AniWaya? I heard about you when you first came here. Isn't there another... there were two of you, right?” Her golden eyes began to well with tears and she fought to hold them back. The woman's plight caught Orin so off guard. Their story had touched Orin so much so that she had gone on a mission to the Tribe lands just days after Shiloh and her mate sought refuge in d'Arte.
Orin's eyes flicked to the bare, fire-gnarled fingers that brushed her own, but didn't pull away from the touch. If she was still feeling any revulsion from the scars she wasn't showing it right now. “I'm Orin Takekuro, a founding member of Cercatori d'Arte.” Why did she introduce herself like that? It caught her off guard, but she shook it off in a moment.
“I... I want to help you but honestly I'm terrified of hurting you more. Won't you let me get someone else?” She saw a look in the woman's pale green eyes, and whether it was real or imagined, it captured Orin. How could she deny helping the woman? Just one look at what some monster had done to her mangled body, and Orin was dedicated to the cause. “Never mind. I will help you. But you can't say that I didn't warn you. I'll do my best. Where did you come from?” She asked as she took the woman's arm and, when she looked ready, slung it over her shoulder. “Do you have a tub back there?”
She situated for a second, and then made eye contact with Shiloh, ready to help the woman to her feet as soon as she gave the signal. “Whenever you're ready.”
She was gentle as she helped Shiloh roll over on to her back. Shiloh watched her and found herself wanting to touch her more then just the gentle hand stroke she was able to give her without her cringing much. She knew this woman was worried about her injuries but she was getting to the point where her pain was making her numb. She wanted to tell the woman everything. How she felt about being here, how she felt about Saxif not being around and how she truly felt about Kavi. She wanted to cry and let herself go and this woman who reminded her so much of her mate being so close and being willing to help her despite her fear of hurting her made her want to weep. So to keep herself from crying she concentrated on the woman's question.
"Isn't there another... there were two of you, right?” she had asked. Yes there was two of us. she thought to herself. Saxif... she was getting the feeling that Saxif didn't want her. Weeks. It had been weeks since she had seen her. " Yes... there are two of us. My mate Saxif came with me. She is one of the reasons I live right now," she said softly. Just thinking about Saxif made her heart ache and Kavi threaten to take over. Shiloh was losing faith and love in her mate and she knew things had been rough but to leave her like this... it was hurting Shiloh more then her wounds.
She almost missed the pale woman's words as she told her her name and that she had helped found d'Arte. She repeated her name back to her to remember "Orin Takekuro. Nice to meet you Orin," she said with a smile. The woman was so worried she would hurt her Shiloh had to stiffle a laugh. When Orin took her arm in her hands and put it over her shoulder Shiloh was more then ready to get of ground. "I am more then ready Orin. The ground is making me itch. Dirt in my fur. I don't honestly know where I came from. I don't know these lands. I don't know anything. About my pack.... or my mate or anything for that matter! I have a lame arm from a rape that happened two months ago. I now have a broken ankle that I have been trying to walk on and failing. My mate...." she paused as a wave of utter sorrow and grief went over her. Why was she telling Orin this when she had just met her?
Because this raw ache is breaking me down and slowly killing me she thought as she wrapped her arms around Orin and broken down. I am going to scare her away. I should have let her leave me down she though as she leaned against Orin and cried. Cried because her emotional pain hurt more then her physical. She wanted Saxif back in her life but more then anything she wanted someone to look at her and not see her as a monster, a this ugly mishappen being she had been burned and beaten into.
It was true; Shiloh was scaring Orin, but it was for reasons other than those that made the grey one fret. The very sight of the woman was a reminder of the danger that loomed just around the corner and of the things that could happen to her or her daughters. It told her that Cercatori was not the safe haven that it seemed. Sure, they had a measure of protection inside their pack’s borders, but both Orin and Shiloh were living proof that borders weren’t always enough to keep evil out. Some terrible thing was happening to Shiloh’s pack right now, and it could happen to d’Arte at any minute. For all they knew, Maska’s goons were on their way here right now. The world wasn’t safe, no matter how hard they tried to make it be.
Orin tried to swallow - a simple task made laborious by the sudden dryness of her mouth. She looked away as she hoisted Shiloh up, trying to diffuse her fear. She didn’t want to upset the woman any more than she already was. The girl had suffered extensive injury; just looking at her Orin wondered if there was a time in her life when she ever wasn’t injured… and she knew the answer to that. No. From what Shiloh had already revealed in their brief moment together, she knew this woman would never live another moment of her life without injury, even after the lacerations on her body are healed.
She talked about her mate and Orin thought she caught a hint of hurt in the woman’s voice. Was something wrong? The two had escaped AniWaya against impossible odds… Had something happened to Saxif? Had she been hurt and Orin didn’t know? She started to regret asking after the other tribe woman, but before she could think of some way to make it better, something to say to take away some of the pain she knew Shiloh felt, the woman said it… ‘…from a rape that happened two months ago…’ and she bristled. Every muscle in Orin’s body went rigid the moment she heard the word, her eyes glazing over as every last ounce of blood in her body ran cold. She felt her stomach lurch, and for a moment she thought she would vomit. She glanced around desperately - turning her head away from Shiloh in case she threw up - and labored to gulp down air.
Shiloh was worried about looking crazy… what about Orin?! Together they were a sight. Orin pinched her eyes shut, working to numb the emotion that swelled like a tidal wave… and just then she felt something… arms around her.
The warmth of the despairing woman enshrouded her as they embraced, and she opened her eyes to see the side of Shiloh’s face as she hugged her. Instinctively, Orin wrapped her arms around the broken woman and held her tight. She wasn’t all together herself, and certainly wasn’t the best choice for a crutch, but she would do her best. With Shiloh’s pain overwhelming her, Orin was helpless to her own, and it wasn’t long before she wept too. Tears matted her cheeks as she stood there, trying her best to hold Shiloh upright, and show her that she wasn’t alone.
Finally, after several minutes had passed, she dared to say in a raspy voice, “Come, we shouldn’t be out here like this.” And she moved - still holding Shiloh tight - towards the end of the alley. With the one woman leaning on the other they walked slowly, and when they entered Thornbury’s shopping square Orin glanced around, unsure where to go.
The woman wanted a bath – she deserved a bath, but Orin didn’t know where to find one. Of course she couldn’t bathe in one of the pools in the forest, her wounds wouldn’t allow that. They needed someplace with a tub but Orin didn’t know of one. Still, they were out here, exposed to the prying eye of the world. She wanted to get Shiloh inside. “This way,” she said, and directed Shiloh to one end of the U-shaped district. They soon reached a wooden structure built on top of a stone foundation and Orin helped Shiloh up a handful of steps. She hesitated at the doorway though and a tremble racked her. She glanced at Shiloh out of the corner of her vision, hoping the woman didn’t notice. Could she go in? Orin bit her lip but looking at Shiloh gave her the strength to unlatch the door and take the woman inside.
The room they entered was dark and chillingly silent. It was clear that no one had been here for months, for the aisles of bookshelves were once again soiled with dust and cobwebs. The air was stale, but mostly the bookstore was unchanged. Orin offered Shiloh an old chair and then peered around with wide eyes.
“It’s like… it’s like nothing ever happened here…” she whispered to herself. It took a moment for her to remember Shiloh was there too. She shook her head, trying to ignore the thick knot that was forming in her stomach… trying to disregard the temperate but quickening tremble of her limbs.
“Has something… happened… to your mate?” she inquired, turning to face Shiloh. Why did the mention of her mate make the tribeswoman cry for so long? Her face was twisted with worry. She wanted to ask her more, to press her further about the things she said in the alley, but she didn’t know where to begin.
900+
Shiloh leaned against Orin as they embraced each other. How long they held each other Shiloh didn't know but as her pain escaped her and she let go of what emotional pain she had been holding back for weeks since she arrived in CDA. She cried for her weakness, she cried because she had let Rain win by not only breaking physically but mentally. In Orin's arms she almost felt whole again and she didn't understand why she cried too. For once Shiloh didn't feel alone and misunderstood.
Shiloh was so lost in losing herself in Orin's arms that she jumped a little when she spoke to her, her own voice gone, her throat to tight to say anything as the woman helped her out of the allyway. It was a slow task, Orin acting like a second leg as Shiloh tried and failed to stay off her throbbing ankle. "This way" she heard Orin say and they walked for some distance before coming to a empty building or at least Shiloh thought it was empty as they went up the handful of steps and to the door. Orin paused and Shiloh felt her start to tremble. It was only for a moment and Shiloh watched as Orin bit her lip before opening the door to what seemed to be a really old bookstore. Shiloh hadn't read a book in months and missed the worlds that some of them could take her.
Orin helped her into a chair before looking around. “It’s like… it’s like nothing ever happened here…” she heard her whisper and Shiloh knew this place haunted the woman much like being in her home land did. Shiloh tried to find her voice and was able to croak out a question. "What demon haunts you here Orin?" she asked looking down as she felt Kavi swell inside her. She wanted to take over but Shiloh wanted to get to know Orin before she let Kavi out. She noticed the woman's shaking limbs and knew something bad had happened to her too. Orin turned to her and Shiloh looked up to see a deep sadness and much worry playing across her face. She could smell Orin's worry as she asked about Saxif. A whine escaped her and tears threatened to consume her again.
"My mate is alive and well if that is what you are asking. She just... can't stand the fact that I have a split personality. Kavi keeps her away and I haven't.... she can't.... I am unloveable..." she stuttered to the alabaster female. She looked down her arms, then to her bandages then to her ankle. Physically she didn't understand why Saxif had even claimed to love her. She was not beautiful, not like Orin who bore not scars, or at least none Shiloh could see. "I am a monster..." she whispered looking down
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700+
Her eyes scanned the slate colored face, narrowing to focus on the woman in the half-light that streamed into the old bookstore. The shutters had been closed for some time, and the only daylight that made it in now only came through a few select slits in the louvers and the small opening of the door that had not closed behind them. Orin felt like the bookstore mucked the sunlight, that not even those sunny rays could penetrate the darkness that still lurked here.
There was another darkness here too, one Orin didn't even know about, didn't even suspect. As she stared into Shiloh's eyes she had no idea that the woman was waging an internal battle against an alter ego that struggled to come out. Orin had her own second personality, but it did not fight with her like Shiloh's. Desdemona had been her protection, her assumed identity when she ran from the devil. Now she didn't need Desdemona anymore... she had become Orin Takekuro once again. At least, that's what she thought... Then again, there could be more to it. After all, her own daughters still went by the Moonsong name, and Orin still hadn't picked up all the shattered pieces of her former self. It was all evident in her appearance, and her lack of love for this place now.
“I...” she looked away, eyes staring blankly at the shadowed bookshelves. “..don't want to talk about it.” She was quiet for a while, then turned back to Shiloh, her face a hard mask. She wanted to focus on the AniWayan's problems, not her own. It was much easier to relate silently than to tell her story.
She was glad that Saxif was well, for a moment she worried that something had happened to the woman that she didn't know about, and it felt like a small stress was lifted from her shoulders. Orin settled onto the floor at Shiloh's feet. She sat Indian-style, facing the tribeswoman.
“A split personality?” she repeated, surprise obvious in her voice. Her eyebrows pinched together and she cocked her head, concerned. “What do you mean? What's it like?” Back when Orin actually did read she had downed many a tale that had a character with multiple personalities, and they were always portrayed as the villain. She chewed on her lip again, concerned – but not so much for herself in Shiloh's presence as she was for Shiloh herself. Then she suddenly remembered... “My friend Mars... He is like that. He is Mars and he is Bartholomew. He used to be a member of this pack.” Her voice was suddenly thick with emotion. Mars Russo was one of her dearest friends, and she had met Bart once as well too before she even knew about the Russo's little problem. But she hadn't seen him since before she fled from Cercatori. Come to think of it, she didn't even know where he was now.
“He's not a monster, and I don't think you are, either,” she couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking Shiloh was ugly. There was nothing she could do about that. At first sight, the woman's extensive scarring was frightening at best. Still, they weren't Shiloh's fault, and it was obvious that if the scars weren't there the woman would have been pretty. Actually, she was. Orin surprised herself when she looked at Shiloh's face, seeing not just the scars but the woman behind them. She was tortured but innocent, and there was a beauty there all her own. She reached out to her, taking her hand.
“You're not a monster, I promise you. And if she thinks so then she doesn't deserve to have you. A monster is somebody like... like the man who would kill an infant. Like the bastard who killed my son.” She nodded slowly, her eyes burning embers as she relived her nightmare. “Took him from this very room while I was trapped up stairs, only days after giving birth. I managed to get out and followed him to the flower fields, and that is where he took his life and then told me that he would kill my daughters, too, if I ever came back. Or like the 'men' who would hold down a woman-” her eyes seemed to say silently 'like us' "and take anything they wanted from them. Even knowing they were already injured, knowing just how helpless and broken they already were.”
It was the first time she had ever come close to telling another living thing about Lucifer. Everyone knew about the rat, Argul, who had killed her son Demetrius. But no one knew about Lucifer, and until know she planned to keep that secret.
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Shiloh looked down and away before letting Kavi take over. "Much like this. Hello Orin. I am Kavi. Shiloh tells me about you all the time," she said softly before bringing her emerald eyes up to Orin. She hoped Orin wasn't like Saxif and could handle her coming out. For a moment Kavi saw Saxif and her anger towards her and she tried to get up, tried to move away from the woman. She knew she was going to hurt her with her words much like Saxif and Kavi knew she couldn't handle another rejection. She whimpered and tried not to do or say anything that would lead to Orin hurting her. Kavi had been scared to come out even with Ayasha who had understood her and taken her in and loved her. "I mean you no harm Orin. I was made to protect Shiloh. She is so fragile and easily hurt by others words. She has gone so long without Saxif in her life she is slowly fading away. She hurts and I try to ease some of her pain. Shiloh stated that she was a monster because its how Saxif sees me. I am the monster living inside her mate but in retrospect I am her mate. She can't accept me there for can't accept Shiloh," she said, her voice cracking with the pain she felt. She wanted nothing more then to be seen as Ayasha saw her. She meant no harm to anyone.
As Orin told her she wasn't a monster and explained what a real monster was Kavi took the woman's hand in her own and held it. Orin had been raped too. She understood why Shiloh was so broken. They had both loss much in their lives but Kavi sympathized more because Orin had lost a child. Shiloh had been raped but hadn't gotten pregnant from it. Kavi knew a small part of Shiloh longed for a child and she still wondered if Saxif would have loved her if she had gotten pregnant with her rapists children. Shiloh had lost her virginity because of him and her craft, her arm too weak to carve anymore. Kavi saw Orin as someone that would love Shiloh despite Kavi being here with her and Kavi wanted to stay with the woman. She leaned forward and licked her cheek softly before rubbing her cheek against Orins. "Just so you know.... There is always someone here for you if you need me. Shiloh cares for you already and the two of you have just met. Don't do anything that might hurt her. She needs a friend like you," she whispered before letting Shiloh take over.
Shiloh was confused for a moment but she buried her face in Orin's neck and breathed her in. She smelled unique to Shiloh much like Saxif did but there was another wolf's scent on her. Someone else was with her. Shiloh pulled away and drew her ears back. She wanted Orin to herself. Orin was the only one who understood her and accepted her. She hurt so much..
At first she was confused when Shiloh’s alter ego began speaking, then surprised. Unable to hide her emotions well, Orin’s face reflected her shock with wide eyes and a parted jaw, but just a moment later as Kavi kept speaking the emotion melted from her face, mutating back into that same concerned look she had for Shiloh. When she met Mar’s alternate personality she hadn’t known it was Bartholomew at first, but this one openly introduced itself. At least there was no beating around the bush here.
Despite how strange the whole thing was Orin didn’t reel away from Kavi in horror. Sure, not very many Luperci had multiple personalities – at least not many that she’d met – but that didn’t make her necessarily fear them either. They were different, that is all. For all Orin knew Kavi was the real personality and the broken Shiloh was the alternate. The only reason she didn’t suspect was because both personalities seemed to insist that Kavi came after Shiloh.
“Hello… Kavi,” she said, a little hesitant, then smiled when she spoke of how fondly Shiloh thought of her. A frown crumpled her features though as Kavi continued on. Saxif loved Shiloh but couldn’t accept her for all that she was, because what she was included Kavi. Had something ever happened between Saxif and Kavi to make that happen, or was the woman just afraid of Shiloh’s defense mechanism? Before she could press a question, Kavi continued on. “No, Kavi, you’re not a monster. You’re right, you are her mate, you’re part of her. Saxif needs to see that.” She quickly agreed, somehow sensing that Kavi would only be there to talk to her for a short time.
Then the woman leaned in closer, nuzzling her cheek and planting a sweet kiss there. She was surprised but did not reject the affection, even returning the nuzzle in the most wolfish of ways. “I won’t,” she promised. “I wouldn’t hurt her.” And somehow, she knew when Kavi left and Shiloh returned. It was subtle, but it was like some sort of strength inside the woman fettered away. Then Shiloh leaned on her and breathed her in, and Orin was certain Shiloh was back.
“It’s okay,” she reassured her. “I just met Kavi, everything is fine. There’s nothing wrong with her, nothing wrong with you.” She raised a hand to gently brush the back of Shiloh’s neck, but then the gray woman pulled back in alarm. Orin gasped softly, confused. She had no idea that Shiloh was reacting to another scent in her coat. “What’s wrong? What is it?”
400+
Shiloh didn't like this stur of emotions. She was mated to Saxif. She loved Saxif dearly but Orin.... Orin understood her, Orin didn't shrink away from Kavi. Orin cared... but Orin was obviously with someone. She knew that they could only be friends but a small part of her wanted Orin. Wanted the understanding and care and now sense of completion that Saxif was not giving her. But she had one main scent other then her own on her. A male. Shiloh looked away and attempted to speek. "You...have a males s...scent on you... I.... forget it," she stuttered and pushed herself up to look at some of the old dust covered books. She was avoiding telling Orin how she really felt.
tell her Shiloh. Tell her how you feel. I want her. I want to be with her she heard Kavi talk to her in her head. but unlike you I don't. I want to be with the woman I love. Orin understands us yes but she is not for me. Saxif is. You know better. You know I love Saxif Shiloh shook as she talked to Kavi mentally. I will have her Shiloh. She can give us so much Saxif can't. She can love us! Kavi yelled before taking over again. She stood up straighter and turned to Orin. "I want you Orin. Saxif can't love us like I know you can. I can't let Shiloh push you away. I won't," she said hobbling over to her and lean over to look at her in the eye. She wanted nothing more then to kiss Orin, feel her touch. Feel something. She leaned in and licked from her from her cheek to her nose, pressing her nose to hers much like Shiloh did with Saxif. Shiloh kept her weak and sickly because of her love for Saxif. She didn't want to get better if she was not there. Kavi wanted to get better, wanted strength and protection. She was willing to to anything to be with Orin. She cupped the womans face softly before nipping her ear playfully. Could Orin love her?
Of course she had a man's scent on her, everyone knew she lived with Shawchert. She was confused for a moment, nearly being a nose blind woman herself, unknowing what exactly Shiloh was talking about. She glanced down at herself as though she could see something wrong with her, and then turned a confused look back to Shiloh. She nodded slowly, unsure. “Yeah... Is it Shawchert? I live in the treetop terrace with him. We're raising our daughters there.” Who else could it be, she wondered. She couldn't remember working closely enough with any other males lately, at least not in a way that would put their scent on her coat. Then again, she was a pack wolf, and moments of friendly greetings were not unheard of. It could be anybody. Was there someone in particular that had made Shiloh upset? Maybe someone who had been less than gracious to her when she and Saxif first sought refuge in d'Arte?
While she puzzled it all out, Shiloh struggled to her feet and moved away from her. Orin just watched her go, not sure exactly what was happening. With Shiloh's back to her she had no way of knowing that Kavi was secretly speaking to her; and Orin might not even know Shiloh well enough yet to detect it anyway – if such a thing was even possible. Orin watched the woman as she was swallowed by the shadows that mottled the bookcases. “Shiloh I'm sorry... I... did I do something?” She started to ask, not wholly sure what she was apologizing for but wanting to fix it anyway.
Then suddenly the woman turned and, with a speed Orin didn't know was possible for the injured Luperci, was suddenly up against her. She gazed up into her eyes in surprise, another gasp escaping her. At first she didn't know Kavi had taken over again, and wouldn't have known had the woman not spoken of Shiloh.
“Shi... Kavi,” she stammered, trying to find the right name. Her heart fluttered in her chest, suddenly alive with a strange excitement. Still, she didn't understand what was happening, and when the woman started to kiss her she was slow on the uptake. She responded enthusiastically to the affection... at first, anyway... before realizing that it was going a little farther than typical inter-pack expressions. She tried to lean back, raising her hands to gently push Kavi back.
“Wait, stop,” her voice was soft, careful. She didn't want to reject the despairing woman or her counterpart, but once she realized what was happening she couldn't let it go on... even if some quiet part of her wanted to. Her heart still tripped, and she wasn't entirely sure it was because she'd been taken off guard. “Kavi, hold on. Think about this for a minute.” She set her small hands on Kavi's shoulders, staring into her eyes, her own amber gaze glistening in the half-light. “We've just met. And I'm... um...” Different? Normal? Not like you? None of those were right. “I'm seeing someone, and so are you... er... so is Shiloh. This is...” Weird? Wrong? No. “...too fast. Think about Shiloh, think about yourself. You want to protect her, and that's what I want too.” How the hell do you reject someone? Especially another woman? Another woman who you might not wholly want to reject... “We've been through a lot of the same things. I see you, and you see me. I can't even describe how amazing that feels! But this... we can't jump into what you're asking. We barely know each other. I have daughters, and a...” Well, he wasn't her mate. “And I live with their father.”
600+
Kavi pulled away from Orin as she explained herself. The way she felt against her.... She whimpered at the thought of someone else touching her, loving her. She shouldn't have acted so irrationally, it was not like her to jump without some forethought but Shiloh had pushed her into wanting Orin more with her arguing. She looked down at Orins small un-scared hands and looked down at her own scarred pink ones. She understood her. Orin could see her and Shiloh and still touch them without cringing. She didn't judge her and as she listened to Orin explain that 1. they were going to fast and 2. Shiloh still loved Saxif and 3. Orin was living with her daughters father. How in the hell was she going to get Orin to see she would be there for her?
"We can take this slower if you want Orin. Or if this really bothers you tell me to leave and I will. Shiloh will not remember what just happened. As for your family.... Shiloh has always wanted one. She could would take good care of them as would I. Shawchert and Saxif are not a problem if you really want me. I need this understanding and trust and care from someone Orin. You are the only one who truly understands why I am here in the first place. But these... feelings are real. This right here is real," she whispered huskily to her before nipping at Orin's neck and growling a bit. Something about this woman made her feel alive and Kavi loved the acceptance Orin gave her along with the affection she craved. Why couldn't she have her?
“Well... I guess...” She stopped. What was she about to say? She didn't know. It couldn't have been, we can take it slow. She didn't want to reject the woman – either woman – but there was no way she could ease this situation with a mild promise. For one, that just avoided the situation for now. For two, what was it she was going to promise her? [I]'Sure, we'll see where this takes us?'[/b] She couldn't say that. She was involved... and she had never loved a woman before, she didn't know if she even could. In the short time they had known each other a profound fondness had blossomed for Shiloh and Kavi, the women had been through such similar tragedies, and it was amazing to see that someone had lived through what she herself had survived, but she couldn't just make wild commitments because of that.
“No, I can't,” she cringed even as she spoke the words. She didn't want to see the hurt in Kavi's eyes. Could Shiloh hear her too? Did she think she was being rejected? How could this be happening just minutes after she'd promised never to hurt her. “I can't make any promises like that. My life is... complicated...” – and boy did it just get worse – “...and I don't know how to just 'take it slow.' We can be friends, I'd love to be with you and Shiloh. There's plenty we can do together here and I can help you during your healing but I can't make that kind of a promise.”
Kavi kept nuzzling her, kept nipping at her, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fully convince herself that she didn't like it. Still, she had to put a stop to it. She already felt bad for hurting them, and if she let her keep going she might give the woman false hope. She took a step back, “Please, stop.” She held her hands up, palms out as she appealed to Kavi for understanding. “I don't want to hurt you.”
300+
Kavi understood now. Orin stepped away and Kavi knew that even though Orin cared and understood her, she couldn't love her. She didn't hide her pain as she backed down."As you wish Orin," she said, letting Shiloh back out finally.
Shiloh had been struggling for control since Kavi took over and fighting her mentally had left her both mentally and physically weak. She slouched just a bit before reaching for Orin. "O...Orin he...help," she whimpered before starting to fall. She could see it all happening in slow motion. The ground rushing up at her and her powerless to stop it. She didn't understand why she had gotten so weak, why fighting against Kavi took so much out of her. What had she done after she had taken over? She reached out for something and caught her hand on a shelf.... No not a shelf but the books on the shelf. As she fell she lost her grip and they fell with her. She softened her fall by putting the other hand out and she whimpered as the books hit her back, sending dust into her nose and open mouth. She had already had a dry throat but now... she needed water bad. She breathed hard and started to pant as the stress of fighting Kavi made her shift to her lupus form. She was starting to feel weaker and a pain blossomed in her chest, making her curl up in pain. Something was wrong. Terribly terribly wrong.
She watched the disappointment in Kavi’s face thaw into a blank stare as the woman was caught between consciences for the briefest second, and then she could see the transformation in the eyes as Kavi’s strength melted and Shiloh’s fragile mind came back to the fore. She had no way of knowing that the girl would be drained when she returned.
Shiloh faltered and Orin noticed just a moment too late. A weakened voice muttered feebly, and she saw the gray woman totter to the side. She reached out, grabbing for Shiloh but her fingers just brushed her back as she fell over. Books toppled down with her and the months of dust that had collected make smoke screens that were impossible to see through for a few seconds. Orin hacked as the dust disrupted her lungs.
“S-ugh ugh ugh- iloh… Are you ugh ugh ugh alright?” She coughed, covering her mouth and trying to catch a breath but unable to. Each time she sucked in air the dust thickened in her lungs, and she had to crouch as her stomach strained with the cough. But crouching didn’t help as the dust began to settle in her area. She reached out blind, feeling for Shiloh. Finally one careful, searching hand felt fur, and then skin. She patted gently and realized she was touching Siloh’s hand.
No, wait… Not hand, paw. Shiloh changed? The dust in the air was finally thin enough for the pale light to silhouette the woman. Orin gasped, knowing that something was horribly wrong. She had a feeling that the woman hadn’t intended to shift, that she would have said something if she had. Quickly she grabbed book after book and threw them over her shoulder, each hitting the ground behind her with a raspy thunk.
“Shiloh! What’s wrong? Say something!” She begged the woman as she moved towards the shadow of her head. Was she even breathing? Yes, Orin realized she heard panting. The dust hadn’t cleared enough for her to see the desperation in Shiloh’s eyes. She took a guess, “Did the books hurt you? Did part of the shelf come down?” Little did she know she should probably be running to find a healer.
300+
super fail post. Sorry nuki
Shiloh curled up even more as it felt like her heart was being crushed. a heart attack again? she though as Orin's voice became muffled over the beating of her heart. The woman was taking the books off her and asking if she was ok. "G....ugh ugh ugh... et he...help O....rin, she was able to cough out as her chest started to grow heavy. This wasn't the first time she had had a heart attack. She had a a small one when Saxif came to see her for the first time in months.
She knew Orin would worry about her and she hoped the woman could leave her alone long enough to get help. it will teach you to try and fight me. Next time it might kill you if you try to go against me. I will take the pain away for now but don't try me Shiloh. she heard Kavi say as she passed out. This was the first time Kavi had openly hurt Shiloh and Shiloh knew something was wrong with Kavi to make her lash out at her like that. She didn't understand.
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