She felt stupid now, she hadn't even though to go find Skoll and leave him with information on what pack she'd joined a few weeks ago. Somewhere deep inside her she still wished that Phoenix would return and she panicked when she realized that he would not know where she was if he returned to the packlands Skoll lived in. She'd waken from her dreams in a daze and too soon she'd found herself leaping out of her bed and shaking her fur out, set to return to the Shadowed Sun lands and tell him where she was thatway he would know and could tell Phoenix.. if he ever returned.
She'd hopped down the stone pathway in her yard and crossed through the open gate that sat between the stone fence. A determined look on her face as she paced across the lands towards the far reaches of the territory, closest to where the ruins of their old lands lay. It had felt good to stretch her legs and run at the ground eating pace she'd set, but within a few hours she'd begun to feel the burn as she slowed down as she came close to their borderlands. Panting as she jogged along the lands she kept her eyes open for Pilot or Skoll, really the only two she knew from these lands.
Skoll had woken up in the night as well, haunted by a dream about VoidFane, the demon spirit which had nearly taken possession of Agani's body forever, and who had sought to kill Ember Agaric...in addition to every other lycanthrope. Those dead eyes haunted him still, and despite his desire to, he still could not forget the day when some of that wolf's memories had slipped into his own through the talisman he'd created. Friend and foe alike, slain on the altar of a mad wolf's hatred and remorse.
Though the dream had been over for several minutes, the yellow wolf knew that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep that night, and so had taken watch yet again over the borders of his new home. The wind wasn't in his favor, so when he saw the white wolf approaching, he didn't know for certain who it was. He hadn't seen Pilot go out this way, and he supposed that if either of the leaders of his pack were to go out of the lands, they would have found somewhere to rest by now. Heading down the incline of the mountain, shifted and with his effects about him as usual, the werewolf went out to meet her. When the form grew closer, and he realized it was Iskata, he wasn't sure what to think.
"Iskata, I'm surprised to see you. How did your search go?" He had noticed that Phoenix had not returned, and this worried him, but hadn't said anything. Phoenix had been ill when he left, so chances were that he had crashed somewhere else to recover. Still, he would have preferred it if the brown wolf had returned by now.
She smiled as Skoll approached, the words he said she could understand, she wouldn't have expected herself back either, but she was here now, there was nothing that could change that. Nodding to the male she slowed to a trot until she was before him. Curling her tail around her feet she stared up at the shifted male, his form or weapons having no affect on her, even though she was sitting before him looking like a plain old wolf. "Everything.. went ok. I found Kansas and Ember.." she looked away for a moment as she tried to find the words to explain what Kansas had found as well. Biting her lip she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts as she spoke up again. "Kansas had returned with Phoenix and Moon over the mountain.. they'd been attacked shortly after finding Icarus' body.. Kansas made it home.. but they took Moon and Phoenix.. " she looked down at her feet as she spoke up softly, "Kansas said they'd stabbed Phoenix..." she didn't even voice Kansas' real fear as she looked back up to Skoll, Kansas didn't believe that Phoenix would be returning to their new lands.
Shaking her head she looked back down at her paws as she tried to get ride of the dark thoughts that were crowding her mind. So many things had gone wrong recently that she didn't even want to think about anything right now. Sighing softly she spoke softly as she explained to Skoll why she was here. "I.. just wanted you to know I'd joined Labyrith Glen with Ember.. incase Phoenix returns this way.." she looked back up, a slight hope in her eyes. "Maybe.. you could pass it onto him.." She knew she sounded pathedic, like a small child still believing in childhood fantasies, but she couldn't help it.
Skoll's brows furrowed, and then his eyes closed. So, that was what had been keeping him. Phoenix had found some of his progeny, but he had lost a child after all. And after finding the body of a lost child...he had been taken away. When Iskata continued speaking, it appeared that she had not lost hope. Kansas hadn't seen them kill his father...it was possible that there was still hope, though Skoll wished that he knew more of the situation, he knew that Iskata would only know what she'd been told as well.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Iskata. I haven't had a true family in a long time, so I can't say I know what pain you're feeling, but I know it must be grievous. If I see Phoenix, I will tell him." He paused for a moment, considering something. He wasn't the best at reading subtle hints, but maybe she had told him thinking that he might do something about the situation.
"How long ago did you learn about this? I'm still not in the best shape for travel, but if his assailants only have a few days' lead, and they're dragging Phoenix along, I'm sure I could catch up and be back in a few weeks..." His voice trailed off, he didn't want to leave her hope at that...he was limited, but he knew others who wouldn't be.
"If it's longer than that...I have some connections outside of the Souls' lands, fighting wolves that would be able to seek Phoenix in my stead, if it's too far ahead for me. They're good people, and quite competent." He would enlist Aivyr, Tanya and Nikolov, he imagined. The latter two were small for fighters, but when armed and together they were a force to be reckoned with. "Phoenix is a tough guy, and thoughtful enough to stay alive, especially if Moon is there with him. I think we'll both see him again, but we can help the process along if need be."
She shook her head at the words the Skoll asked. She didn't doubt he could catch up with Phoenix's kidnappers if it had only been days ago, but the truth was the truth, it had been over a month since she'd found Kansas and learned the fate her mate had befallen. Raising her eyes to meet Skoll's yellow orbs she explained. "No.. it's impossible. It's been over a moon since I'd found Kansas and discovered what had befallen Phoenix..." she shook her head sadly and stared at her paws, not wanting to let the emotion that was welling up to break lose. She had to stay strong, if only on the outside.
Raising her eyes to gaze off in the distance she spoke softly. "Do you really think there's hope out there? That he can be found?" it wasn't that she didn't believe that her mate could be found alive, it was just after so long.. if he was alive and did escape.. would he want to return.. would he start anew and discover a whole new world somewhere else. "Would he even want what's left here.." She spoke bitterly as her eyes grew dark, all she had to rely on was a flickering faith, hope,.. a maybe in the distant future. She shook her head and sighed. "Everyone's split up now.. I wonder how long before the distance seems to grow." It had been so easy when they'd all lived together in one big pack.. but there'd always been things divided in her life.. perhaps she was just finally tired of it all.
Skoll's spirits fell at the news. It had taken a month for news to reach him? Surprising, given that he numbered himself as one of Phoenix's better friends. Maybe the news wasn't being made public, but still...had he known earlier, he thought he could have done something. Nonetheless, he knew a few people who should be able to help.
"I think there is still hope, yes. I'll get some friends to start a search outside of these lands. If the people who attacked Phoenix were trouble-makers in general, there's a chance that they will have made a ruckus coming into these parts, which would make them easy to recognize." It was terrible news...he felt weak and worthless standing here, making promises, rather than heading out himself. Still...he had responsibilities here, and until Inferni was either neutralized or found a better leader, he felt that he could not forsake those responsibilities.
"As for whether or not he would want to come back, you already know my opinion of Phoenix." That was all he said on that matter. Phoenix had been a responsible wolf, a responsible father and leader, far more so than Gibraltar had ever been...at least as far as pack solidarity and loyalty went. Someone like him did not deserve to have his quality questioned so readily, at least not in Skoll's eyes. He understood her grief, but did not understand her anger at the victim. Quality people were hard to come by, but he felt that Phoenix had always been such a person.
"As for distance, it's hard to say. I always took my duties so seriously that I didn't make a lot of solid relationships in Bleeding Souls, nor did I pay much attention to the grapevine of information between the packs. I would imagine that any relationship which survived the fire would remain, provided that people make the effort to sustain them." He said a little wistfully, looking off into the deep blue of the night.
"Still, it has to be said that old relationships sometimes will take a backseat to newer ones. New friends require more time than old ones, time to solidify the friendship, where older friends already value one another, and their bond does not need to be tested as often. Over all, it may be a good thing to make new friends, provided you spare the time to keep in touch with the older ones."
She sat and stared at her paws as he seemed to lecture her about the way she was taking things, she didn't speak up though because she knew it was useless trying to explain to him something he didn't understand. Narrowing her eyes as she quietly waited out the lecture, when it was lover she raised her head and just watched the male before her. "I just hope he remembers what he left behind... if his family is to take a backseat to a new life.. " she rambled on for a moment as she realized what she was saying, and realized that she wasn't for certain what she wanted to take a backseat to some new exciting world he might be experiencing.
Shaking her head for a moment as she tried to clear her thoughts she sighed and turned her eyes back to Skoll. "Thank you.. for everything Skoll." the words were brisk as she sat there, her eyes staring into Skoll's as she tried to work everything out in her head. Jealousy was something that had been like a second skin to her as her mateship with Phoenix had progressed. It had been hard for her to deal with and almost had caused more than her own unhappiness.
Breaking her gaze from Skoll she shrugged off the emotions that her draining her. She knew she should have left quickly after explaining everything and asking his help, she knew the longer she stayed the more wrapped up she grew in her past. Shaking her head she gazed off towards the mountain wishing everything was said and done already, that Phoenix had returned and everything was back to the way it use to be.. but she couldn't help the seed of doubt that was weasling it's way into her heart.
She sat and stared at her paws as he seemed to lecture her about the way she was taking things, she didn't speak up though because she knew it was useless trying to explain to him something he didn't understand. Narrowing her eyes as she quietly waited out the lecture, when it was lover she raised her head and just watched the male before her. "I just hope he remembers what he left behind... if his family is to take a backseat to a new life.. " she rambled on for a moment as she realized what she was saying, and realized that she wasn't for certain what she wanted to take a backseat to some new exciting world he might be experiencing.
Shaking her head for a moment as she tried to clear her thoughts she sighed and turned her eyes back to Skoll. "Thank you.. for everything Skoll." the words were brisk as she sat there, her eyes staring into Skoll's as she tried to work everything out in her head. Jealousy was something that had been like a second skin to her as her mateship with Phoenix had progressed. It had been hard for her to deal with and almost had caused more than her own unhappiness.
Breaking her gaze from Skoll she shrugged off the emotions that her draining her. She knew she should have left quickly after explaining everything and asking his help, she knew the longer she stayed the more wrapped up she grew in her past. Shaking her head she gazed off towards the mountain wishing everything was said and done already, that Phoenix had returned and everything was back to the way it use to be.. but she couldn't help the seed of doubt that was weasling it's way into her heart.
OOC:
Ah...he was trying to talk about the situation with Souls in general, my bad for misunderstanding, I thought she was shifting the conversation to like..."wow, all my friends are far away now" rather than still about Phoenix. >.<
IC:
"You're welcome to anything I can do to help, Iskata," he said softly. "I think we will see Phoenix again, I know that his family is the most important thing in his life. Back when I first returned to Bleeding Souls from my last misadventure, he denied me re-entry to Storm after being threatened by Gabriel and Fatin." He said this knowing that she may not have heard it. Those discussions had been made in private.
"He took my side in all that mess, but his concern for justice and for friends came second to the security of his family. I know that those two may tell you different, but I only became a part of Storm again after things had settled down, and after he decided that my life was in danger if I remained as a lone wolf, and that his family was longer was at risk for my being there." That was the truth. It had been Phoenix's idea that he rejoin, but he had decided against it, deciding that he would be better off without any political ties. Later, Phoenix sought him out to revoke the invitation, because of threats made by Inferni with the full support of Jaded Shadows. It had only been a long while later when, sleep-deprived from his nightmares of the wars and his spiritual encounters, he had failed to detect enemies approaching and nearly died as a result that Phoenix had asked him to come back to Storm.
OOC: Nah.. she's always had friends in different packlands.. she was talking bout Phoenix.. it's ok.
Iskata just stared at Skoll as he spoke, deciding not to mention the fact that her own alpha was the wolf that he spoke out against. It was true that there'd been no friendship between Gabriel and herself, but she respected Fatin and Faolin and Skoll's situation made it hard for her to take a side, he had saved her daughter from an unjust attack yet she was loyal to her pack and to her friend. The things that her mate had or had not done were in the past, and a small part of her could still remember the things he thought of her first son, the hybrid by misforture. How he had believed that DaVinci had kidnapped Firefly and how he's spoken of it to their children... she had never forgiven him for that.. even though she should have.
Shaking her head at the words he said she looked at him apologetically but stayed silent a moment longer. "I rather leave the past behind me Skoll, I'm not going to invite trouble out to play...The leaders of Inferni.. we have our ups and downs.. but I'm not about to find myself at war with their clan again. I lost everything last time, I'm not about to give up what I have now..." She didn't want to admit the hard truth but she had to. Looking down at her paws she murmured. "If Phoenix can't understand that.. if he won't.. then perhaps he's better off where he's at." She hated herself for the things she was saying, but she couldn't deny the truth. If Phoenix was going to stand on one side of the line and that line happened to be the opposite side she was on she would stand against him. Shaking her head she looked back to Skoll. "I'm not asking you to understand the things I've been though.. just understand that sometimes you have to stop fighting the world. If siding with Gabriel and Fatin is going to be what keeps the pain and heartache at bay.. I'll be standing there." Phoenix was one heartache she'd already started on, if he ever returned it would be too late and her would would have healed. To walk down that road again would be too hard and fruitless in the end. To mourn for someone and them to return alive and whole, life would never truly be the same.
Her words confused him. His point had been that Phoenix had put his family first, even before his friends and his beliefs. Nevertheless, the point she wanted to discuss seemed to be about standing relations, and so he listened to her account, face impassive as she spoke. Her stance seemed...misinformed to his ears, as well as unfavorable. She spoke in generalities, commenting on her own inner conflict which he wasn't savvy to, but also seemed to hold the belief that he desired war with Inferni. If that was true, he would have called in favors. The same people that he would send out looking for Phoenix would also be willing to help him put down a threat in his home. But no, he had commanded the loyalists in his army to disperse. He did not want to bring war here, especially not the kind with which he was familiar. Still, while he didn't understand what exactly had brought on her monologue, he knew how it sounded. If it is easier for me, I will take the wrong side. She was much different than she had been once, it seemed. She was broken, wounded, the fire in her had guttered out.
"I make no claim to know what you've been through," he said, his eyes focusing on some far-off point, "But you should understand, I don't fight the world, I fight a part of it. Inferni isn't the biggest threat I've gone up against, and its warriors aren't the nastiest I've encountered, either. I know that with your family, you have experienced many things that I have not, but you must realize that you have been spared some of my pains, also. I don't know if you've ever killed anyone, or the most brutal thing you've ever seen, but I can guarantee that I've seen worse, and left a body count that would appall you. I have met people whose viciousness far surpassed that of any of these Inferni coyotes, their skulls on sticks not withstanding. Nevertheless, doing what I think is right is important to me, even if it isn't the easiest path to take." His eyes refocused on hers.
"I could simply slip away from all this and stop fighting altogether, stop being responsible for anyone but myself, my name isn't known everywhere, and all of my closest friends are dead or gone. But I won't. It isn't right for me not use my ability to aid others. If Inferni decides to slaughter puppies again like it did at Aremys, is it no one's responsibility to do something about that? Souls has been short a few good, responsible people for a long time, in my view. I know that makes me unpopular, but I believe it, and I can't believe any other way. The leaders of the past should have crushed Inferni when Kaena slaughtered those children. But they didn't. It wasn't any one person's responsibility, so they fled from the prospect of dealing with it. Because of that, Inferni will attack someone else the next time its leadership feels ambitious or annoyed, because the wolf leaders here have taught them through inaction that it's okay to invade them, that it's okay to slaughter children for fun, that there will be no repercussions." He paused a moment, something smoldering behind his eyes.
"Well, everyone else is free to do that, Iskata. They aren't my affair any longer. I am the guardian of Shadowed Sun, nothing more. I know what my responsibilities are, and I know where I stand. If Inferni comes here in force, I will kill as many of them as I can before I fall, even if you support their attack. I do want to ask, though," his eyes looked straight into hers. "If I hadn't been there that day, and your daughter had died, would you still be siding with Gabriel to ease your heartache?"
ooc- sorry.. wrong account...
She narrowed her eyes at Skoll as he spoke, his dislike for her choice was clear to the female but she didn't say anything right away, listening as the male gave his views on everything she just sat there until the last word was spoken. When he finished his spew she couldn't help but do anything but laugh at the yellow eyed male. Shaking her head she just let it all out until her breath was short and her chuckled faded away. "You know.. I've heard the exact same arguement from both sides.. and each one blames the other... and if someone doesn't stand up and point these things out.. this stupidity will never end and the wolves will hate the coyotes and the coyotes will hate the wolves." She said the words with a sharp edge as she stared at him. There was no hate for the wolf, but his onesided military view of the world where everything seemed to have to end with a fight was something she didn't want anything with.
The last comment he made had stung, but she knew that what he said was true, in a way she was thankful for his interference with the clan but then again Naniko probably wouldn't have had the whole clan on her ass like Skoll had. Narrowing her eyes once again she spoke with hard emotion. "I'm not siding with Gabriel to ease anything Skoll, and I never said I would support them attacking one of the packs.. if you weren't so harebrained and stuck on your wars and battleglory you'd realize that Inferni isn't out for everyone's blood. You know the precious packs around here aren't so innocent either... I wonder how many of them raise their children to hate another because their blood isn't pure. My own blood seems to feel that's the best thing there is. How do you think I feel when my own blood hates anything to do with coyotes and my own son is one. How would you feel if you saw the disgust and horror in your niece's eyes when she discovered her cousin was a halfblood..." she shook her head and scowled, turning away from Skoll for a moment she let out a hiss of a sigh. "You'd never understand Skoll..and I'm not going to ask you to, if we're going to stand on opposite sides then that's it." She stared at the ground with the hard light fading from her eyes as it seemed to be decided between the two friends.
OOC:
I'm thinking done?
IC:
Her laughter slid off his back, it was hollow and he knew it. She completely failed to address the points he'd made, everyone who argued Inferni's case always did. There simply was no argument for slaughtering children, and no one ever tried to make one, they just tried to take the discussion somewhere else.
"You don't understand me very well," he said after a few moments, shaking his head. "The person I cared for more than any one else I've met here was a coyote. I have nothing against coyotes. As for battle glory, I can't remember the last time someone patted me on the back for fighting anyone. You think you've got me figured out Iskata, but our life experiences...I suspect they are too far apart for us to come to consensus. It will be enough for you to realize that I'm not your family, nor am I some coyote-hater you need to reform. Until someone can give me a good reason to simply excuse Inferni for killing children and invading Aremys, then I will continue to hold my convictions. That is all. It shouldn't matter to you either way. I am not a leader, my words change very little in these parts."
It seemed like she didn't think there was much to understand about him. She seemed to think she had him figured out...but she obviously didn't know about Layla, or Luka, or Tanya or Nikolov. There was no point in telling her; Iskata had been drifting since she'd returned, and furthering the argument wouldn't affect any change within her. He didn't know what paths she was going to take, but she had as much as told him that whatever loyalty she had once held to him or people who believed like he did was a thing she intended to abandon, and that he'd better make peace with that.
"Go home, Iskata. I'll tell Phoenix where to find you if I see him." He rose and turned away from her, seeking to go back the way he came. She was a grown woman, what paths she chose were her decision, and he had no right to object. Even if he had, by the way she spoke, she already knew what he'd think, and ultimately that wasn't reason enough not to go down those paths.
She just sat there and stared at him, she really wasn't angry at the male, it was just hard when everyone was choosing sides and she tried to stay in the middle. Sooner or later she had to choose sides and it seemed that she'd just told Skoll she would side with Gabriel, when really she just would follow her pack loyalties, and that meant following Fatin's choice. She shook her head as she cast her eyes away, one day they'd straighten this all out but it probably wasn't going to be today.. or tomorrow.. or anytime this season. Sighing as she lowered her gaze to the ground she gave up and gave in. There was no use in even going there. Neither of them understood eachother and they couldn't force one another to give any ground.
When the command came from Skoll she bared her fangs at the male and glared at him, snaking her head to the side as she met his stony yellow eyes. She was about to make some snappy remark but at the last moment she gave up and nust snorted in disgust at the fellow before whipping around and leaving a trail of dust towards Labyrinth Glen. She didn't even want to know what sort of story he was going to tell Phoenix if he came across him first.. but right about her now as her mood was souring she didn't care either.
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