Say it if it's worth saving me.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-01-2011, 07:55 PM

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backdated to october 30th

Word Count → 1012

While their oblivious pack mates went about their meaningless and unimportant lives, uncaring of the tragedy that was unfolding within Anathema's very stone heart, Gemma and Giuseppe were huddled together within their cave along with their desperately ill son. The small child lay half on each of their laps and covered by his birthing blanket as his wheezing breaths slowly got shallower and shorter. For all his sickness Gemma had been starting to believe that he would make it, that he would survive and pull through but in the last few days he had mad an extreme turn for the worse, the child hadn't woken up in a day and a half not even to eat or drink.

She didn't cry, she couldn't cry so her blue eyes remained tearless and dry. She had no more tears left in her. As the night wore on a cold lifelessness seeped into her bones and turned them to ice, as she watched her son die with no knowing of how to help him or ease the poor child's suffering. Then the time came that he simply stopped drawing breath and exhaled one last time with a small sigh never to return to life again. For all intents and purposes to Gemma and Giuseppe it seemed as though he had simply stopped breathing but in fact the little pup's heart had given out under the strain of keeping him alive. Still his death was painless and quiet.

Giuseppe's face was an unreadable blank mask that she could not pierce, together they had suffered through this and now it was time for them to mourn separately, she would be kind to give and give him space to grieve like she knew he wanted to, he was holding back because she was here. She took the child and wrapped his cooling body up in the blanket that he had been born onto, it only seemed right that he would be cremated in it as well. She would sort this out, she could have some along time with what used to be her son but was now just an empty shell. She grabbed her bag from the floor and turned one last time to look at the coydog, he was staring at the wall with a far away look, she left him to himself. As the skin swished closed behind her she could hear gentle sobs as Giuseppe broke down and cried for the loss and life of his firstborn child.

The blanket was clutched to her chest, a precious cargo to beheld. The woman wandered aimlessly through the tunnels of Anathema, a lost ghost or wraith searching and seeking but never finding, her deep blue gaze dull and dead, haunted. Some parts of it were blank stretches of her memory, gone and taken from her though she would not miss the hours from her life spent wandering. At some point she stopped and leaned against the wall sliding down its cold stone until she was sat on the floor. She was empty and broken, finally life had broken Gemma Sawtooth. More blackness extended and she came to with her knife in her hands and blood running from her fingers where she had sliced them by accident. She didn't feel the pain.

She stared hard at the pristine white fur that covered her, the cogs of her mind twisting and turning. It was all the fur's fault. That color had condemned her from the start, had caused all this misery and suffering, had ruined her life. Anger hardened her now and she raised the knife up before bringing it down, slicing through a clump fur. It floated from her body to rest on the rocky floor and she felt... less weighed down. As though its leaving her had lightened her soul. She pulled herself to her feet now and tied the blanket containing her son to her chest, he would come with her to her destination.

As she walked slowly along the woman continued to cut chunks of her fur away from her arms and front side. Inevitably she sometimes slipped with the crimson liquid coating her fingers and the knife dug into flesh, adding spots and blobs of blood to the trail of pure white fur that she was leaving in her wake. It took her several hours with her slow winding gait to reach the place she was heading. The waves lapped gently against the sands and cliffs, the tide was out, how lucky for her. She continued to hack away her fur until there was only a sparse layer less than a centimeter in thickness covering the entire front of her body from her neck down to the tops of her thighs, her arms were similarly bare as was the end of her tail, only now was the true damage that her long fur had hidden revealed.

The poor woman was littered with scars from the beatings she had received from both her mother and from Gabriel, her long fur had kept it away from the world but now it was bare for all to see. The only place that wasn't scarred was her face, Gabriel had wanted to keep that pretty even as he befouled her body and damaged her mind irreversibly. The woman worked for a good while more, collecting driftwood that had been washed ashore, finally her pile was big enough and a fire was started, illuminating her position on the beach. She sat down near the fire and stared into it as it crackled. Jaden's body had been removed from the blanket and the soft downy thing used to further excite the flames. She held the small child in her arms stroking the head softly as she slowly rocked back and forth, besides her a half empty bottle of whiskey sat in the sand, its lid screwed on haphazardly.

Why? Why had this happened to her? To them? Why? It was the only question she could ask now, what had she ever done to deserve this path, this life that she had been given, just why.

Matteo Trovato · 11-01-2011, 10:40 PM

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.: D8 JADEN NOOOO! :: WC :.

The day had a heavy atmosphere, Matteo noticed early on. He'd been preparing breakfast, actually, when he'd had that cold chill up his spine telling him something bad was bound to happen. He thought he'd figured it out when Miwa had gotten into an ink well (luckily made out of a washable substance, so it didn't stain her fur after a good bath). Nope! The moment things had settled after that, in the evening, he still felt that chilled feeling.

Come evening, he had to get some air. Everything had been grinding his nerves and he felt his temper biting at the back of his mind. He knew there was no reason for any drama between his mate, his friend and his family, so he left to take a long walk.

The tide was out but the rocks were slippery enough at this time of night that the veil simply wasn't safe to visit, so he took a longer walk to the Serene Sands beach. He knew the moon would be visable there behind the occasional clouds, but by the time he'd made it to the beach, the clouds had hidden any lights from view up there. No stars. No moon. Just a gentle glow from a storm brewing.

He trotted up to the beach in his optime form, bundled in a long coat but only a pair of jeans underneath, having been too worn out to bother with getting fully dressed (another habit he'd picked up from Alaki). As he came onto the light sand, a figure caught his eye.

At first he thought he was seeing things. As he took a closer look though, he realized that it was Gemma. What had she done to herself? The scent of blood drifted to him and he didn't waste another second standing there.

Gemma! He called in a worried tone, sliding to a kneeling halt beside her, hands hesitantly reaching for her shoulders, stopping before touching her. He'd been about to turn her to face him but the sight of an overly still Jaden stopped him cold; why wasn't he breathing? ...shit. Not again.

His arms started to lower to his sides but he stopped them midway, bolding moving to tug her into a (somewhat forceful) firm embrace, the still child between them but not smothered despite his condition.

He said the first thing that came to mind, It's not your fault. and left it at that. There was nothing more he could say. Not until she'd had a chance to at least react to his actions, his being there.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-02-2011, 05:31 AM

sky needs to reply to birthing theaaaddd Big Grin

3+

Again he had come in a time where she was dark in both mind and soul. Why did it have to be him? Were the fates or gods simply pissing on her without even having the courtesy of calling it rain? Did they laugh at her pathetic sham of a life as she tried desperately to attempt to wander a road of impassable objects and unmovable barriers? She didn't know and probably wouldn't until she died, tortured and defiled by her life. She barely even acknowledged him as he came to a stop beside her, knight in the shining white armor huh? Not anymore.

She continued to stare into the fire as he noticed the very dead condition of her son. The pallor of her scarred skin that was now visible through the sparse remains of her fur was a sickly grey color and her blumine eyes lifeless, as though she had followed her son into the afterlife in spirit and left the grieving body behind. Only when he had released her from the hug he forced upon her did she move at all. It was to lay Jaden's body within the scorching heat of the flames, the child's body burned fast and soon all that was left was ashes. He was laid to rest on the very beach that he had been born.

Matteo's words finally sunk in, wasn't her fault? Then who was at fault? Who had killed her son and probably torn away her last grip on true sanity, forever bumping it up out of her reach. Blue eyes searched for traces that he was lying and she finally turned her body to him, the light of the fire throwing shadows and illuminating her skin and the maze of scars. Her angry words died upon her lips before they had even been said,

"I should follow him into the abyss. I don't belong here, the world doesn't want me here, that much is clear." Her voice whisper soft and so sorrowful, longing and mourning, she pale woman truly believed she had no place on earth.

Matteo Trovato · 11-02-2011, 09:39 AM

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.: Ngh. I'll try. xD :: WC :.

He watched her move to lay Jaden amongst the warmth of the flames (an embrace in this cold season, he liked to think) and stifled a sobbish cry. Jaden hadn't been his son, but he was still his nephew, his family, an innocent soul that hadn't deserved to die. Under his breath, he whispered an Italian prayer (not a Christian prayer, mind you. He'd given up on that a long time ago).

Then his eyes flicked over to Gemma. She'd cut off her fur. He'd done the same to his hair once, so he wouldn't bother commenting. He saw the scars and suddenly understood; she'd been through as much as he had, maybe more.

Then she spoke and he frowned. Fuck the world. I want you here. He stated in a tone that demanded no argument. He shuffled forward and brushed against her, to offer more warmth and to give her what support he could offer.

Sometimes the Gods are cruel, Gemma. They play with life and death as if it's a game. We're not blessed creatures. We're not their children anymore. He stated coldly. That just means it's us against them, though. You can't give up. You can't let them win.

For a moment, he wouldn't think about Alaki, about Miwa, even Tawny. Tonight, he was focused on one person and one person only; Gemma. He gave her a moment to let what he'd said sink in, to let her reply, but as he waited he pulled her into another embrace, this one from behind, his arms around her shoulders and head beside hers.

I swear, if you find the strength to try just once more, I'll protect you. I won't let this happen ever again. No one can get in the way. Not Giuseppe. Not Alaki. No one.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-02-2011, 08:35 PM

XD Poor Gemma, she has many many issues XD
7+

Comfort. A foreign concept to her now. When had been the last time she had received such a blessing? Months ago, a night spent out on the mountains at a stupid time in the morning with a man who held a solid dislike for coyotes. Her enlarged ears and slim pointed muzzle told the tale of her dual heritage but had Gemma ever considered herself anything more than a cross breed, something of a freak, born from a illicit relationship between predator and prey. She was no fool, she knew that coyotes were food for wolves. So being both which category did she fall into? Hunter or hunted.

Still his contact was accepted, cherished even despite the rocky ground their relationship stood on. A nice and fucked up one it was too. He loved her and she loved him back but she also hated him because he loved another, she hated him again over for tossing her aside yet she'd sleep with him in a heartbeat if he ever offered regardless of how it would damage her and tear at her heart to see him go back to his other afterwards. Then there was the danger zone that was his brother, she didn't even know what to classify that as. Everything was so royally screwed up in so many different ways.

He wanted her here? It was nice to be wanted for once. He brushed against her and the touch was returned if only in a small way. Her head pushed back gently against his, accepting and complacent for the time being. Mentioning of the gods and their games had her teeth flashing at the fire, aimless and misplaced anger,

"Sometimes? The gods are always cruel, always ruthless and always mocking. They are not content to see me suffer from the evils already performed upon me, they insist on loading me with more and more." The pale fae knew what she was talking about, experienced laced her voice that was heavy with bitterness. Ears folded back against her blonde hair, the roots were beginning to show through the dye now, she couldn't care less. Where had the woman who seemed so carefree and happy gone? She was bound now, bound and gagged. Left in a darkened room to rot and descend slowly into madness.

The man shifted again and an inquisitive audit perked up from its slumber to follow him around, even within her despair and sorrow did his presence command her attention. She could no more resist the desire to follow his movements than she could her attraction to his fur coloring. Warmth flooded her that had nothing to do with the fire and everything to do with the furry chest now pressed against her back, the arms that encircled her and the head laid on her shoulder, she leaned backwards into the embrace that he dangled before her and gave herself over to him, allowing herself to pretend just for now that he really did care. Did she have strength enough to carry on after this night, to go through her life knowing that she had once again failed and that any notion of her being a good mother was shot to pieces. She could see them all, a plethora of bodies that paraded themselves past her vision, she knew every face, every scent by memory and she would never forget.

Instead of answering his declaration, it would never hold true in the light of day, she asked a question of her own despite already knowing the answer, rhetorical but still questing for a reply,

"I've never told anyone about my history. Where this whore comes from, how she got here." Her face twisted into a mask of pain as loathing filled her words, she couldn't deal with it on her own anymore, she needed to share it. After all this time keeping it contained, the hatred and anger had started to fester and decompose, it hurt and she knew it always would. The injustices done to her would never fade from her life and disappear just like the scars she carried would never heal, carved into her by force and evil. When she was young and stupid she had thought herself very special, gifted even when she had been worse than useless, she still was in fact. To this day the woman had never learned to hunt for herself.

Matteo Trovato · 11-03-2011, 10:54 PM

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.: This... sounds like some major drama coming on. xD Teo, why? :: WC :.

A warmth in the back of his mind told him how much he'd missed holding her, how much he'd suffered through their fights, her hatred for him. Now, even in this troubled, mournful moment, he felt as if just holding her would make all of his pain go away. He hoped he could somehow, someday, make her troubles leave her, so she could be happy.

Would that mean leaving Alaki for her? Killing Guiseppe if he ever threatened to come between them, if it ever happened? Would he be able to do either?

For that moment, holding her, mourning with her, listening to her voice and not her words... he believed that yes, he could, if it would stop her from dying inside.

He closed his eyes as she spoke again, calling herself a whore but mentioning her past. He'd never heard her story. She'd never heard his, at least from him. They were strangers in that way. He leaned back a bit, pulling her with him.

Tell me everything. I'm listening. He whispered, ears trained to her completely, ignoring the world around them. Spare no details. Let me in. And he left it at that, resting his nose under her cheekbone, eyes closed, ears perked, arms still holding her to his chest. He had no intentions of letting go, especially since the poor girl was naked to the elements otherwise.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-04-2011, 10:19 AM

Wc: 2050 Daymn XD this is massive.

She was silent for several minutes after he spoke trying to think of the best way to start it, to explain away the madness and sickness. But there was no way other than to jump in with both feet and take the plunge. She shifted against him, settling in to be more comfortable, never forgetting that the ashes of her son burned away in front of them while she told this story of horror and depravity. His spirit had gone to the aurora now and his body destroyed so he would never hear it, she
was glad of this,

"Death has always followed me around ever since I came into this world. Anger and pain were never far behind. I was born of rape, my father Lucifer, perhaps you met him, attacked my mother, an albino coyote and forced her into sex with him. Two months later myself and my siblings were born. Lucifer killed the male child before he had even took his first breath, he didn't want competition." Her voice was a mixture of things, switching back and force between a monotone and an emotional voice that sounded as though she were going to break down at any moment,

"My mother hated me from the moment she saw me because I was white like herself, despite being raped she now saw Lucifer as hers and didn't want me as competition for his affection. You see Lucifer had a twisted fetish, he took great pleasure in raping those with white fur and it didn't matter who they were. Male or female." His own daughter. "So my mother hated the sight of me and attacked me every chance she got, every time Lucifer left her alone with me. The only thing that stopped her from killing me was his threat that he would kill herself and her other children if I died, he didn't care about me being beaten though." She stared straight ahead of herself not seeing anything instead trapped within her own mind, the memories playing over and over. Her body twitched with phantom pain. "I was three months old the first time he forced himself on me. It hurt. A lot. After that he began to teach me. Teach me to grow up into his play thing, his sex toy. My sisters hated me because Lucifer always gave me all the attention whenever he was around. My body reacted in strange ways to this, I like to think it was so that I could cope better with the rape." Her hands balled up into fists,

"I..I went through puberty at five months old. Before I could shift I went through my first heat cycle and didn't mother just fucking love that. I woke up two days later with a broken leg." The woman had gone insane at the pheromones coming from her daughter and had beaten young Gemma senseless. The fae had been extremely lucky in the respect to it mending, perhaps the only time the gods had looked at her and smiled instead of laughing, and her arm had healed properly despite no cast. The woman subconsciously rubbed at the arm that had been broken, her left one "Daddy adored his little toy and she was a perfect little doll for him to play with. All I wanted was to please him and make him happy just like he had taught me." She snorted, that had been the happiest point in her life despite her mother and sisters hating her.

"About a month after that Lucifer grew bored of us and just left one day. It took mother a few days to realize he wasn't coming back and she chased me away. So by six months old I was alone in the wilderness with no one to protect me, no idea how to find food or water and ... " Her voice here dropped to a whisper as though she would disturb someone by talking normally "Pregnant with my own siblings." She closed her eyes as revulsion crept up her spine, "I managed to survive on my own for a week or so with my broken leg, eating carrion and finding water by sheer luck. Then I was found." She said the word 'found' with the same conviction that one might say they were whipped with barbed wire for hours, "Gabriel found me. He was some kind of jackal wolf hybrid and he thought I was his gift from the heavens. So he attacked me and knocked me out. When I woke up I was at the edge of a desert chained to a dead tree with no idea where I was." Gabriel had been a sadistic son of a bitch and had taunted her when her tears had come, all she had wanted was her daddy.

"Things happened and I was beaten for my tears and struggling, Gabriel hated excess noise and any noise that I made to him was unneeded noise. He quickly worked out that I was carrying offspring, the punishment for that was severe enough that I went into labor. It took days for them to come out, all the time he was over me with his fists, sometimes I wonder how I survived." A hand drifted down towards her stomach. "He took a great amount of enjoyment from watching me attempt to make them wake up, to lick them into life. I didn't even understand what had happened but I wanted them to live. He let me name them and hold them then took them from me and then he tore them apart in front of my face and ate them." Bile rose in the back of her throat and she swallowed heavily trying to force it back down, all she could see was the blood and flesh and bone, torn bits of her babies flung everywhere. "He left half eaten carcasses everywhere around me, just out of my reach and left them there to rot."

"He then set himself to the task of trying to make me have his children, he believed they would be the chosen ones. It took eight months for me to finally conceive. As time went by he got angrier at me for not falling pregnant and the beating and rape got worse and worse, more and more pain. Until one day he smelt that they were there, he didn't beat me after that but still took me against my will, many times a day." Her voice had taken on a hollow tone, as though she were far away from here,

"One and a half months later I still carried them until he decided to move us deeper into the desert. About two miles into the trek he found a place he deemed suitable and once again chained me to a tree he found. It was too much for my body to cope with, there was no water and the sun was so hot and at night it was freezing cold. I miscarried. Most of them were dead or in the process of dieing. I never saw him so angry before that. He tore these ones apart and ate them like he did the others, but one of them, she was stronger than the rest, she might have lived. I'll never forget that scream." The girl had let out a piercing cry as he bit into her body, Gemma had screamed with her and trying to reach her child, to save her. For her efforts she had received an open clawed kick to the stomach. She shivered and pulled at her ears, she could still hear it, it echoed around her mind.

"I named her after myself, she would have lived, she was a survivor like me. He was so angry, he attacked me when he was finished tearing apart the children. Such pain I've never felt before or since. Then he left. Just walked away covered in mine and my children's blood. He took one of the bodies with him as well to eat later. I thought I was going to die there, chained to that tree surrounded by their bodies. I couldn't wait for death, I just wanted the pain to stop, I could feel the blood slowly leaking out of me. But no, I was denied the peace of death." The woman sighed and looked at the sky wistfully, oh how much she wished she had been allowed to die then,

"Again I was found this time by a bachelor group of males. They were all hybrids just passing through the area and followed the scent of my blood hoping for an injured animal to feed on but they found me. I was still conscious when they descended upon me, I believe the first one that found me did have intentions on consuming me but he was chased away by the others who saw something else they could get from me instead; sex." Again bitterness filled her voice,

"So at the directions of the leader they demolished the tree I was chained to and managed to remove the shackles when they had dragged me back to their camp. I was looked after and healed. For the first time in my life I was treated with kindness and some semblance of respect at least until my injuries had healed mostly. They wanted someone to relieve their sexual urges and I needed somewhere to stay, I didn't know how to find food on my own so without them I would quickly die. So I stayed with them until one day when everything changed, another traveling coyote passed through the camp complaining about a male he had fought with and lost to. I wasn't interested until I heard my father's name. I was so happy to hear he was nearby and all I wanted was to get back to him, still an obedient little girl." Her face again twisted, "I asked the guy If he would help me find my father and he agreed. But the others didn't want me to go, they enjoyed having me around way too much so I was tied up. One prison for another." She fell silent for a few seconds, a single tear fell.

"Again I was forced upon against my will, I'm not sure how long I was with them by that time I had simply given up. They were happy when I stopped fighting, they got sick of fixing my injuries. I thought they were my friends obviously not. This carried on until one night they all got drunk and after forcing themselves upon me in turn again most of them passed out, forgetting to tie me back up. So I escaped and I ran as fast as I could from them. By chance I managed to find that same coyote who had told me about my father, Talnar and he agreed to help me find him. He got me most of the way to 'souls when one of them caught up, the one that had wanted to eat me in the first place. The two of them fought and they both ended up dieing. I didn't know what to do really, I was so messed up and confused, I buried Talnar and ended up using the guy that had chased me as food. It saved my life." She didn't really see anything wrong with her eating him, it was been extreme circumstances and if put in the same place again she would repeat her actions.

"I wandered into 'Souls then and over the mountains. I found my father whilst walking around Anathema's borders. He forced himself on me again and then left me. I joined Anathema and he continued to come to me until he died. Someone killed him. I found out just what he had done to so many people from one of the girls that he'd raped, impregnated and then forced to miscarry. She wasn't angry at me because I was related although she had to slap sense into me before I'd see it. She lives in that new pack over the mountains now I think. So there you go, my life." Another thought came to her and her entire body stiffened, fur bristling,

"Looks like you were right. I have spent my life popping out corpses." The words were hissed from between clenched teeth.

Matteo Trovato · 11-04-2011, 12:35 PM

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.: Jesus girl. Wall of text. ♥ :: WC :.

The most she said, the more he understood. He moved his hands to his own arms, still holding her but clutching his shirt tightly, teeth clenched. He'd met Lucifer once, back when he and Giuseppe had first joined Anathema. The devil man had given off bad, terrible vibes and Teo had high-tailed it away from him, back to the 'safety' of his brother's den.

He kept his eyes closed for a while, but at some point in her story telling, they opened to stare across at the fire, at the dark spot that was Jaden. The pup must've been a blessing and now, a curse. Like meat dangled infront of a starving dog, only to be eaten by the one dangling it, a fat man with plenty more somewhere else. A tease.

By the end of her story, she brought up the cruel words he'd said to her the night Giuseppe had come for the collar. He winced visably, lowering his head again to bury his face in the curve of her neck, a long whine escaping.

I never meant it, Gemma. I never meant it. I'm so sorry. He whispered, clinging to her. Another quiet sorry, but then he decided nothing could make up for it. Sorry couldn't cut it anymore, right? Right.

...I'm going to teach you to hunt. He said suddenly, almost randomly considering the situation. ...I'll teach you to hunt... and how to defend yourself. If you let me. He opened his eyes again, looking at nothing really but waiting silently, carefully, for an answer.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-04-2011, 01:35 PM

Xd bahaha mental breakdown time Big Grin

Now Matteo gets to play hero :3
5+

During her monologue he pulled her tighter but she didn't mind, it was nice. She wondered how she had suddenly become so mellow towards him, where had that anger and frustration gone, the burning hatred. It had died with her son she thought perhaps. She didn't have the energy to hate anymore not to do much of anything. The woman sighed gently. Her blue eyes fell onto the spot where her son now lay, burned away to nothing, she felt like she should explain herself, explain why she had cremated him and the other three,

"I burned him, and the others. I didn't want anything to find them and eat them." Her voice was tight and choked and she pressed a hand to her face, trying furiously not to let the tears overwhelm her, she was sure that once she started she would never stop. She couldn't help the small sob that escaped, the vindictiveness with that she had thrown his own words back at him at an inappropriate time had vanished completely, all that was left was the bitter emptiness like a hollow cavern that still echoed with screams, she felt his face press against her neck, heard his whine and felt the urge to hold him,

"I know, I know. I'm sorry too, I didn't mean that." Now that she had caught onto the word, she couldn't let it go,

"Yes, it would be nice to be able to take care of myself for once, thank you." Sorry, sorry, sorry. It reverberated around her mind and she couldn't get rid of it, its filled her up until she wanted to shout. It started as a gentle whisper but soon became all to audible, what was she sorry for? Everything, it came out in rapid succession, the monotonous wall caving under he emotion,

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything! It's all my fault, all of it. Everything is my fault. I'm sorry your children died, sorry I wasn't a good mother. They're dead, all of them and its because of me. I should have protected them better, I should have killed him." The poor damaged girl leaned forwards now, breaking his embrace and grabbed hold of her large ears pulling them down in despair, nails sinking into skin and drawing blood. Still she remained dry eyed while her mind collapsed in on itself under the strain, guilt consumed her up from the inside out,

"I should be dead, instead of them. I should be dead now. Yes, that's where I should be, dead with them." Without really knowing how suddenly she was on her feet and walking with determination towards the fire. She would kill herself and that would make everything alright. Then she could be with her children, her babies, if she were dead she would go to the same place as them, she was sure of this. She wanted to be with them, she had been a mother since she was seven months old, she felt all of the mother's love and protectiveness but there was no one to return it, as far as she was concerned, as far as she could understand it, nobody had ever loved Gemma Sawtooth.

Matteo Trovato · 11-04-2011, 02:16 PM

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.: For like, all of five seconds. XD Then it's his turn. :: WC :.

She started to apologize and he sensed something frantic about her voice. She was working herself up again, proved a second later as she shot forward and started pulling at her ears. He jerked, tried to grab hold of her hands to stop her, only to miss as she suddenly stood, babbling something he didn't want to hear from her, ever.

The moment she took a single step, the boy was up, lunging to tackle her back down, knowing that, if she wanted to, she could get out of his grasp easily otherwise. He'd never physically hurt her, so even the tackle felt wrong.

The moment he had her down, he sat up and pinned her arms, sitting firmly over her waist. Absolutely not. He growled sternly, ears pinned and hold firm. Dying won't prove anything. If anything, you should continue living for their sake. For Ebony, Ivory, Anne and Jaden. For every little star you've seen light the sky for you.

Tears. It's not your fault that they died. It's a damn blessing that they didn't have to put up with the bullshit we've been through. You've been through. His voice was almost yelling now, but not in anger. Desperation? Maybe.

Jaden knew nothing but love from you, Gemma. You've cared about them even though the gods won't. You're a strong, good mother. His voice lowered a bit and for a moment, it sounded as if her cries had hurt him personally somehow. You never abandoned them. More tears.

You stayed with them and saw them off to their paradise. A sob. You gave me a son and daughter, if only for a moment, you showed me how precious children are, what a blessing they are... He leaned forward now, curling up above her and squeezing his eyes shut.

I love you for that. Don't leave me. Don't give up on yourself when you're everything I believe in. Another choked sob. Don't give up, please... stay with me, Gemma. Don't leave me. I'll leave Alaki. I'll do anything you tell me to. Please don't go away. Don't abandon me... don't abandon me...

"I'm sorry that I wasn't a good mother to you, Matteo. You're my shining star and I smothered you with all of these Trovato business. I'm so sorry, my son..."

It's not your fault... Non è colpa tua... Teo could only be strong for so long. Seeing Gemma so ready to die... he wasn't some god-sent hero. The albino boy was still just a kid in so many ways.

Gemma Rhiannon Sawtooth · 11-04-2011, 03:03 PM

3+

She never expected him to tackle her but he did and she hit the floor with a startled gasp, the sand cushioning her fall so she felt no pain from it. He was angry with her, why was everyone always angry with her? She looked up at him, the picture of innocence almost as though she were a young child awaiting her punishment for being naughty. He started crying as he spoke to her, almost shouting with desperation in his voice. She could feel now, her own tears coming, the ones that had been held back for hours and hours, they poured down her face as he continued to speak to her, about Jaden, about the ones that were dead, the ones that had never lived.

She was pinned and couldn't move, like a lot of the time she had spent with Gabriel and the bachelor pack but she wasn't worried, she didn't fear him or struggle to break loose. What was this strange feeling she had for him, she had never really felt it for anyone else not even her father at the height of her affections for him; trust. She trusted him, he wouldn't hurt her. But he had done, had done to her heart. What was more important damage to the body or damage to the heart? Did it really matter? Then her ears swung forwards and all thought ground to a halt for a second. What? What what? Had he really just said that? Would he really leave Alaki.. for her? Could she actually believe what he was saying.

A single sound came up her throat, some part happiness, some part pain, hope, hurt, love, all sorts. The woman's hands began to shake. She didn't allow herself hope, and her ears pulled back again, sadness creeped in,

"You don't mean that. You won't leave him for me. Why would you, he's the Rakeeb and I'm nobody." She looked away from him for a second and then back, hurt filled her eyes.

Matteo Trovato · 11-04-2011, 04:31 PM

[html]

.: PLOT TWIST WHUT. Yeah, he's serious. :: WC :.

He stopped talking, stopped shaking for a moment, eyes opening in a snap to look at her. He opened his mouth to say something, to reassure her, but nothing came out.

Would he really be willing, be able, to leave Alaki to be with her? His ears flicked in thought. ...I hate that he's the Rakeeb. He admitted quietly, bringing his arms up and leaning back a bit, sitting straighter and holding his wrists to his chest. He never has time for anything anymore. It's like he cares more about his job than he does our family.

Teo looked away from her, mind still reeling. What would he gain? What would be lost? He loved Alaki, but he loved Gemma too. Gemma... needed someone there who'd really love her, who'd really show her how to live. An equal partner.

Giuseppe wouldn't take care of her. He didn't know how to. He didn't understand, couldn't, understand the pain she'd been through.

Alaki... could take care of himself, right? They could still be best friends somehow, right? With the right luck, maybe.

Was he really going to promise this?

...I don't want to hurt you anymore, Gemma. He murmured, shuffling off her and kneeling at her feet. ...I don't know what to do... I can't make everyone happy. He'd figured that out a long time ago.

Was he really doing this?

...I'll leave him.

Apparently so.

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