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Alder had never lived without knowing where he was supposed to go. Of course he had become lost before, his trip into Inferni was evidence of that, but he had always know where he wanted to go. It had to hard to not have any idea, and no home at all. What would Alder do without that grounding? He feared he would simply float away into the nothing of space. It was a scary scary thought.
Now he could not help but look to Trent with a smile. He would? Alder took the words as honest, maybe even a promise. He didn't have many friends, he was a bit of a recluse and found it hard to connect with others. But he was trying with Trent, almost foreseeing then as good friends in the future. He hoped that they would be able to be. It was the first time he had ever looked to the future and saw himself being confident in another beast's company. He may even decide that Cour de Miracles would be the pack he should join. Alder would make sure to help in anyway he could.
Oddly, his confident was hit by the question of the gray and black maned wolf. Alder didn't understand why, but he felt his smile's hold slipping and he shook his head. I don't know anyone of that coloring. he replied, trying to grapple hold his smile and place it back onto his face. Trent had obviously met another friend in the eastern parts before wandering out towards the mountain. And that was a good thing, the more the merrier. RIght?
Thankfully by the time Trent spoke again the air was easier for Alder to breath and he felt lighter then he had a moment before. He glanced at the gray eyed male as he spoke, interesting in this seemingly new topic. But Alder was surprised by it and his eyes opened slightly. Alder sat up, wondering what had driven Trent to ask about mates and females. Alder had never been asked that, nor had he ever really thought about it. He had thought about love, and wondered what it felt like to fall into it. But a mate, Alder had never really seen himself with one, and simply figured it was since he was still so young. Wasn't he? Oh no, I don't. Alder replied shaking his head and even feeling comically bashful about the idea.
He had to think about his next question for a long moment. If he was to be honest, Alder had no idea. He hadn't looked at any of the females he had met as eligible or not. Was he supposed to? He wondered. One or two. He answered with a shrug, he hadn't really thought about it.
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[html] Disappointment ran through Trent as Alder said he knew nobody by the description of the man he'd met earlier. He knew he shouldn't have asked, most likely, but he couldn't help it. Even his dreams were plagued by the gruff stranger. At the time, the fact he'd witnessed Trent revulse in a puddle of his own vomit had made Trent want to never see him again, but now that time was passing the urge to go and see the male again was beginning to grow greatly and thus, his question had popped out almost without consent of its owner. Trent needed to see the man again, despite the great shame that he'd called on himself that day in more than one manner.
Too bad, he said, without elaborating. Trent tried to sound nonchalant, as though it didn't really matter whether he'd see the man again anyway. But his heart thumping wildly in his chest was enough of a sign that he was really disappointed. He hoped Alder would not notice, would not discover his secrets.
He felt like a fraud and a liar then asking Alder about the girls and asking if he had a mate of his own. He didn't really want a girl. But he knew he needed to. Maybe he could cure himself that way, if only he found out how wonderfully warming the company of a woman could be... Trent didn't want to lie to Alder, since the man had been nothing but kind to him, but felt like he had little control over the things he said and asked.
One or two didn't sound like much, but he supposed it was better than nothing. Is your pack big? Trent smiled meekly, wondering what size the packs around here were.
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Though they had been talking for some time, and Alder had found him in such a vulnerable state, there was a barrier between them. Alder could not tell what the male was feeling, and was oddly confused by it. At the point where he was in pain and unsure on his foot-paws Alder understood him the most. But now, he had more question then he had before. They were deeper ones, and he was unsure about asking even the most kosher of them.
Who was the male he was asking of? Had he gotten his name, if so why hadn’t Trent used it? There were things that he was holding back, and for a reason Alder could not untangle it bothered him. The masked male was normally so understanding, respectful of other’s secrets and wishes for disclosure. But he did not enjoy the wall that Trent had put up between them. All Alder could do was look at it, and wonder how thick it truly was.
Trent’s question brought Alder out of his thoughts and back to the reality. He needed to respect this stranger, how would the coywolf ever come to trust him if he did not? Big or small? Cours had been large before, but members had slowly floated away, for reason unknown to the male. The large male shook his head slightly, Compared to some other packs, it’s a bit smaller. But that’s how most of the packs are. Members come and go. We’re strong though, our King is honorable and cares for the pack deeply. Alder gave him a smile, wondering if such things mattered to Trent.
Did you train in anything in your past pack? Hunting perhaps? He asked, staying far away from the questions that had really come to him and away from the aspect of mates and females. He still didn’t know why Trent had brought up that topic to begin with.
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[html] Never had Trent truly been himself, and today was no exception. The shifting was confusing for the coywolf, because it confronted him with himself and with all that he was and was not. Trent felt exposed and weak, and the feeling of exposure made his defenses even thicker than normally. He was used to being defensive and different from himself, though; he'd been raised to be a noble and respected wolf - or something similar to that, anyway - to find a good female and build a legacy of his own. But how could it truly ever be his legacy if he was not himself? Instead of discussing this with his parents, he'd run away like the coward he was. Trent stole a quick glance with Alder, and then quickly averted his gaze again, feeling miserable that he had no one to share his feelings with and that he could not open up to the male that had been so generous and respectful to him so far. But choosers could not be beggars.
King? Is that the Alpha? Trent had only ever worked with a simple system in which there were Alphas, Betas, and subordinates of various status. He'd never really cared for his own rank within the pack, somewhere near the bottom, had always been a bit of a selfish coward and had not minded giving up rank for his lack of scars and pristine appearance; to the great dismay of his proud parents.
Either way, he supposed that he had not much choice than to choose this pack. Trent had nowhere to go, and he needed somewhere to go before he'd topple over from hunger and die. He was taken from his worrisome thoughts by Alder's question, and nodded eagerly, again glancing at Alder quickly before once more averting his gaze in submission. Yes! I mean, yes, I learned to hunt. I'm a good hunter. I'd probably be dead by now if I wasn't... Hunting in winter was quite the task, after all, and Trent had only left his home knowing he'd be able to fend for himself. He was still overly hungry though, and knew he would not survive much longer, in the light of his recent changes - they cost him a lot of energy - out on his own.
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Alder was one that could wear his heart on his sleeve; he wanted to connect so badly that he would try as had as he could to give himself to the other wolf. Yes, Alder was indeed fearful. He was nervous that he would be hurt and that he would be left by those that he cared about, but it still tried to be friends with those he met. It was not just the way he was raised, his brothers stronger then he was. But they were all gentlemen, remembering the words spoke by their dam and taking them to heart. But Alder didn’t know what would bring the other male out of his shell and tried to put himself in their other’s paw prints. What would Alder want if he were in that position? Space to breathe…
He nodded, Yes. He is our leader. All the packs had different ways to call their leaders, and different ranks and jobs for their members. The way Crimson Dreams was ordered compared to the Court was very different. His favorite part of the Court was his title as Marshal; though he was still al Lieutenant Alder favored his co-rank more then anything.
Trent’s voice was unlike something Alder had yet to hear from the male. It brought am instant smile on his face. Hunting was a paramount ability, and would grant him an invitation to any pack of his choice. Most leaders will like to hear that you can help the pack. You’ll be a good addition. Alder smiled, then poked at the dwindling fire. Did you leave home to find a mate and have a family? Alder didn’t know why he asked that, having been happy with the conversation moving away from females and mates. But he knew there wasn’t just one way to have a family. Alder thought of his sister, and her mate. The two females were so much in love that Alder had yet to see another couple that even came close.
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[html] Just in case he'd run into this King of the court, it would be good to know that he was the Alpha. Trent knew something about kings and queens, from the fairytale stories that his parents had told him as a child, but he did not know that there were wolves, let alone these strange luperci, that lived as though they were from one of those fairytales. Instantly Trent wondered about knights, but he did not ask about it. Instead he just listened to Alder, who said that most leaders liked wolves who could contribute. Truthfully, Trent was not so sure that he could. Besides being a good hunter, he didn't really have anything and on top of that, his shifting was still foreign, painful and sudden, and maybe it'd never get normal. What then?
Alder's next question caught Trent off-guard, since he'd nearly forgotten asking about eligible girls before. He'd mostly just done so to avoid any suspicion that he might not be entirely normal. Oh! Uh, not exactly, but... Something like that, I guess. Trent didn't sound like he was very eager to elaborate. It wasn't hard to guess that there was some ulterior reason why Trent hadn't just left his parents' pack and home, but had snuck out in the night so that they wouldn't know he was leaving. Because he just hadn't been able to face them.
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[html] End this one? Maybe we could have another?? 
Alder had his share of insecurities. He had, in the simplest of ways to describe himself, been born with them. Even as a small voiceless pup Alder had been timid. He had yearned for acceptance and he had wished to please. Alder had come to be grateful for his mother’s actions. She had told him to move away from Crimson Dreams, and even those small words were a large push for the male. He had moved to the Court, lived with his brother Haven and then moved out on his own. He wouldn’t have been able to do such a thing is he had stayed with the Dreamers. He wouldn’t have his rank and his position in the stables. He wouldn’t have Hawthorn and wouldn’t have been brave enough to come out into the neutral territory and meet Trent. They all had to come into their own, and Alder knew well how moving away (even just to the next pack over) could help to do that.
There was not much that came from the coywolf, his travels were obviously not something that he wished to talk about in detail. Alder fought to respect that, and after turning it over in his brain he was able to. He would try to remember that the topic was one that he shouldn’t bring up when they met in the future, something Alder hoped would happen. The masked male was no mind reader, but Trent’s nondescript answer was a clear message.
You must be tired. Lay down in you’d like. I have to find more firewood… Alder gave a small smile as he rose, brushing his paws on his thighs. The horse woke at his friend movements and shook his head. Alder called to him, feeling that perhaps the other male desired some time alone beside the fire.
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Yes! Since Trent ended up joining CdM, we could have one set after he joins where he goes to find Alder? :3 .. And apologise for being an ass and sneaking off. xD
[html] Trent nodded when Alder spoke, and he forced a smile to his lips, knowing it was only kind enough. He watched Alder as he left to look for more firewoods, and looked at the ground, then the dying fire, considering laying down. It was nice and warm, but Trent did not feel quite at ease. He momentarily glanced at the place Hawthorne had been before going off by Alder's side, and then in the direction that Alder and his horse had disappeared off to.
Figuring that Alder was gone for now, looking for more wood for the fire, Trent rose to his feet. He still didn't feel all too strong, but he didn't want to stay and impose any further. He had a lot to think about, such as finding a home before he'd freeze to death in his current state, and he preferred thinking alone. Quietly Trent vanished into the night, with a lot on his mind.
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