Hiding Shame

Noah · 02-06-2012, 11:47 PM

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Maddi | Taking time during Noah's grounding | / +312

The silver male was to be around the pack lands, he was already shunned from the pack den, pack meals. Anything that had to do with the pack the male was not allowed to be in, he was not even going to try to fight his way back into what little good grace the black leader had for him before all of this mishap happened. The silver male stood upon all three paws as he took his back paws and pushed his weight down onto them, in the mud. The male balanced upon his one silver front paw as he kicked in the mud till there was a dip. The male turned around, lowering his nose to the ground sniffing at it. He sighed and pushed his nose down and then rolled it to the side, letting his body follow along with the head.

Once upon his back the male rolls one side to the other till he was a muddy mess. He whined as he rolled over to his stomach pushing his nose though the mud. The silver male did not understand that going to see his old mate that promised to follow him was such a big deal. He did not understand that there could be something as strong as borders when he had helped start the pack, he was a part of it when the two leaders made both pack leave the lands that they had called home for so long, to make the powerhouse pack.

Oh, but now look at how the mighty has fallen…He wished he knew the way to show everyone around him that he was not that type of being to look for a fight, he did not want to start a fight. He just wanted to find out why Rendall had not followed him, and what happened to the love that they once had.

Soran Aatte · 02-07-2012, 06:38 PM

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Yay! The old team back together! <3

The sable female had been concerned by all that had gone on in the last few days, seeing Noah there, taking his punishment, wanting to speak out for her step son, to make everything alright for him, but also knowing that it was not her place to challenge Zalen's judgmen; and also agreeing that what her silver, three legged dear one had done was so very, very against the rules that he deserved punishment, had he been a trespasser on their lands then he would have received far more trouble than he seemed to have from going to Ichika. The truth was that the pack's laws were there to protect them, to keep other packs as well as their own safe, Noah had broken this rule and had therefore deserved to be punished, but still, it hurt Soran's heart to know that there was no way for her to ease his suffering. She knew the male better than most, she knew that he would have not gone to those lands wanting to pick a fight, he would have gone with good reason and that reason would have most certainly been a non-violent one, but still he had broken two pack's laws and therefore he had had to be punished. Still, it was something that the ebony Beta wolf felt a little torn over. She had decided that she would go for a walk this day, to get some fresh air and to clear her head, the snow around the lands seemed to be melting, which was a good thing for the dark female, her leg was all but completely healed now, only a sudden twist or slip could elicit the sudden pain that made her lips curl into a sudden snarl; without the snow there was less chance of this happening. The lady slowed to a amble as she padded along, moving into a far more relaxed gait, she had managed to get lots of fresh air into her lungs, so she felt that she would be allowed to slow down for a little bit, it was then that a very muddy brown creature caught her eye.

She paused for a moment in confusion before padding over to the messy creature, she furrowed her brow a little as she across at him, it took her a few moments to realise that it was Noah. Her poor stepson, she gave a little whine of sadness looking at him there, if it had been under different circumstances she would have assumed that he was playing, but somehow she felt that this was some kind of act of sorrow, of pennance perhaps. The jade eyed female gave a small sigh and crossed the remaining distance between the pair, she looked down at him, her eyes giving away a small hint of sorrow as she looked at him.
Noah, what are you doing? She asked, her brow furrowing in confusion and mild sadness, somehow she felt that this might be her fault, at least in part.

WC: 502

Table by the fabulous Alli
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Noah · 02-07-2012, 11:21 PM

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WC:000+ - OOC blah would go here

The silver male wanted to lose everything that made him who he was. He was a reject within the pack lands, and he was not even really a member of it. He was welcomed to the pack den up until a few days ago. He was at the bottom of the feeding pile, and now the silver male was lucky if he was left a bone or something to eat. The male wanted to mask him-self in mud and just lay there and rot away, the smell of the mud would be the best thing to mask the scent of the dead body right?

The out casted Omega looked over to where he had heard the voice. He lowered his head down quickly running his muzzle thought he mud trying to hide, trying to get away from yet another lashing. Granted none of the verbal or psychical lashing had come from her, or from the young alpha female. The male still feared that everyone was out to attack him, it was just like living in Unwritten all over again. ”I just….I j..just better keep my mouth s…shut.” He whimpered, after having the fight with his mother, and the last attack upon him where the black leader had pushed his face down in to the mud. ”I need to be t..thankful for a p..pack.” He had been wondering if he would or even could make it out on his own as a loner. It had to be a better life than that of an omega in the pack.

Image courtesy of SantiMB .@Flickr; Table by the Mentors!

Soran Aatte · 02-10-2012, 03:44 PM

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OOC rambling.

Seeing the mud covered form of her step son, a wolf who had made a mistake and broken the pack laws so horrendously, well it broke the dark Beta's heart. Just looking at him there, so pathetic, so broken, trying to mask his shame in layers and layers of mud was almost too painful to look at; he deserved the punishment that he had received, had the ties between New Dawn and Ichika not been so friendly then he could have brought the wrath of a whole pack down upon the new pack's heads, that had not happened though, Soran knew well enough that Noah had not been meaning to cause such trouble, that he had had no malicious intent, but still this had to happen. Soran hoped that in the end Noah would see that, that he would manage to redeem himself in the pack's eyes and be stronger for the whole experience, somehow, just somehow she believed that he had a strength in him that even he did not see. He had managed to survive his brute of a father and the ebony pelted female was sure that he would manage to survive this as well, she just wished that he would see the strength within himself, the strength that was so evident in her own jade eyes, and that he would draw on that strength now and fight his way back into the pack's favor. It might take a long time, but the male would be able to do it, however it was not going to happen if he stayed here and wallowed in self pity, no, something had to be done, he had to see that this was not the end, that there was hope for him yet. The sable female looked at him, in response to her speaking he seemed to bury himself deeper into the mud, as if he was attempting to hide from his coal pelted stepmother. Soran looked him over with sad eyes, velvety ears turning to catch the sound of him speaking, the stutter that she found so endearing was present once again, it had been lost when he had gone off the rails, drinking and taking drugs. Again the dark female's heart softened to him, he had been an idiot, he had brought shame on himself, but he was still the same male underneath.

The words that he spoke seemed so full of remorse that it made the dark female move closer, she dipped her head and sniffed at him, he barely smelt of the pack at all, the mud masking the scent as well as his silver fur. She nudged him gently with the tip of her snout, prodding him gently, trying to provoke some kind of reaction from him.
Come on. No walllowing here, you will never manage to redeem yourself in our Alpha pair's eyes if you hide yourself away like this. Besides it's cold, you mustn't stay here and get wet, you might freeze to death. On your feet, there's no good to be done by laying here feeling miserable and sorry for yourself. Come on, on your feet, that's an order young one. Soran spoke, her tone was warm and loving, although it was tinged with a sternness that showed that she meant what she had said, there would be no more laying in the mud feeling miserable, even though it was very hard it was time for Noah to dust himself down and carry on. The dark female let out a little whine of encouragement and nudged him again with her snout, this time at his shoulder, trying to get him to stand. This was going to take some work, but she was determined to help him redeem himself, he was family after all. She was going to put him to work in the lands she thought as she licked the mud from her muzzle.

WC: 651

Table by the fabulous Alli
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Noah · 02-11-2012, 08:10 PM

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WC:330

Noah was not able to re-call any of the events where he was consumed by the drugs and drinking, it was like his mine had turned the lights out on that time frame and he would never be able to get that time back. This was not something the male would care to think about, he did not know what he had done, or what happened to him during that time frame. That was a very depressing time for the silver male to think that for yet another part of his life he was not able to remember any of them.

Feeling his drying mud coat being touch he jumped forward tucking his tail under him (well the best he could with the mud that was turning into more of a cast) with a yelp. It wasn’t that he did not want touched he had just gotten nips and bites left and right since the new month. To the point that was all he had come to expect from any one anymore, once she had pulled her muzzle away from the male he looked at her, and went back to making more of his coal grey coat hidden in mud.
The male could hear that part of her voice that was Soran the beta, telling the male to get up. He knew that part of her was not something he should fight, so to his feet he rolled, holding his head down he just wanted to die, really. He had just wanted to talk to Rendall, to talk to her to see her, smell her and touch her.

The silver male, well now mud colored male turn his head away from the female. He knew why he was being punished…he had always thought about his actions, he was always the level headed one. Maybe was why he was taking this so hard….he made one move, one single move that was an act from his heart and not from his head.

Soran Aatte · 02-13-2012, 07:26 PM

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Soran felt the male flinch at her touch and it broke her heart a little more, she hated to see him like this, to see him so broken, to see that he had come to expect bites from those around him. The sable Beta would not bite him though, in this case she felt that the best punishment for the male would be constructive, using a method that would teach him, that would make him a better wolf in the pack's eyes, to get the pack to see him the way that she saw him, through the eyes of a mother, to see his strength, his courage, the goodness in him; well that was the only way that he was ever going to be able to redeem himself. Soran looked at him after she had spoken her order, noticing that he seemed to be ignoring her, she watched him, her brow beginning to furrow, she would not bite him, but that would not stop her from clipping him around the ear if he continued to ignore her in such a manner. It broke her heart to see him this way, but it angered her a little to see him not even seem to care, to have given up, she could not let him do that, she knew that he had great potential, she felt it whenever she looked at him, she just wished that he could see it too. The sable female was about to repeat her order, more firmly this time, but the male rolled to his feet, a small smile crossed the beta's lips as he did this, it seemed that there was hope for him yet. Slowly she moved towards him once again. Looking him over, he had made an impressive job of covering himself in mud, coating himself almost completely; it seemed that he had been wanting to hide himself away. Soran could not help but sigh as she looked at him, he knew he had done wrong clearly, the sable mother could tell that much. But she wanted to know why he had done it, why had he trespassed when he so clearly knew the laws? What had been so important to the silver pelted male that he had risked far more serious punishment than what he had received?

She looked at him for a moment, the ball of mud that he had became, he did not seem to want to look at her, perhaps a sign of submission, but Soran had a feeling that it was more from shame.
"Why did you go there Noah? What were you trying to do. I know that you could not have done it through malice, were you trying to visit someone?" The Beta wolf asked, her green eyes filling with curiosity and sadness as she looked at him. At that moment then the Betess began to formulate a plan, perhaps she would find a way to redeem him? To save him, she would have to put him to work, but there had to be a way.

wc: 509

Table made by the wonderful Vannah <3[/html]

Noah · 02-14-2012, 10:19 PM

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---. WC:353

The male was use to the nips, use to everyone in the pack taking out the wrath of the winter months on him, he was growing to believe that was the norm for him in life any more, the past life where he had a mate...Had love and respect seemed like a distance dream, a Cinderella style dream, where once he woke up be was back to being nothing. The male was growing use to the ways of the lands now, he figured he was a waste of breath and space and by the good will of the leaders he was still allowed to stay in the lands, though it was probably more so of how it looked to others. The old gimp, half blind, half deaf male was being allowed the rights to pretend he was a pack member; to pretend he had other’s that cared for him.

The male did not want to be looked at by anyone, it wasn’t just her, though he did not like how she was mated to the one person in the whole world that he thought would love him for who he was, and not shame him and hate him for who his father was. The white female that was her mate, and his mother had told him that everything that had gone wrong in his life was because of his lack of faith in some random goddess, and because he looked so much like his father that he was a worthless being.

He shook his head slowly to where it was almost a sway with his motions. ”Don’t matter…” The male sighed, he knew what he did was wrong, he should have made Jace aware what he was doing so she could say he was there as her guest, she knew him well enough that he wouldn’t go around hurting the members of the lands. ”I messed u..u..up I k..know I’m the p..pack’s s..stupid slow wolf. I am h..h..here on the g..g..good graces o..of all the l…leaders.” He spoke, his voice was a true and honest as the mud that was on his coat.

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