this is not your dream

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 02-17-2012, 10:45 AM

ooc: i guess this would be her rejoining in a way

ic: The woman's fur was beginning to fade back, grey brown with an undercoat of russet and cream beginning to peak through. Her strawberry gold locks seemed to have just disappeared as the walnut dye had stuck so well to her thick curly mane. She assumed that soon enough the color too would fade but for now she wasn't worried. The tiny pygmy was turning home, back to the people she belonged to.

She ran her nails over the scar on her palm, the only visible sign of the pack she had resided in for the past moon. There was so much she had come to understand of the strange dark creatures of the lands, and yet even with a moon span of time it wasn't enough. She had set a limit though to the time she would stay away from where she belonged. Now she was returning to the border of lands lost. The scents seemed to have never changed but only the appearance of familiar faces would confirm or deny recent changes.

Helotes Lykoi · 02-17-2012, 11:55 AM

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Confused Helotes is confused / +340

It was early morning and the dark Lykoi had rousted himself for a quick bath in the nearby stream. He was sleepy, contemplative, as he ran the icy water through his now nearly black mane. It had been some time since he had had the time to dye it crimson, and it was so long now it begged to be trimmed. He looked quite feral in that moment, bent over the stream. Finally when he was finished he stood, and turned around to look at Yegua, who was standing silently behind him, watching. She began muttering then, softly in that low rumble that only a horse could do, and he cocked an ear at her, it seemed that a familiar scent had come to her on the wind and she pawed the ground anxiously. He walked over to her and patted her on the neck affectionately before mounting, Show me. He said, for he could not smell anything as she did.

Yegua took them swiftly over the cold, wet, dead grasses of Inferni. The clouds threatened rain, and it was still desperately cold, but at least there was no snow. Yegua made a beeline towards the borders, and it was not until they were much nearer that Helotes’ nose noticed a scent. It was unfamiliar, yet familiar all at the same time and it confused him greatly. Soon, through the light fog, the visage of a child came to his view. Yegua slowed down, and threw her head back to whinny out excitedly in low speech that it was she that Yegua had scented. Helotes dismounted and slowly walked towards the young girl.

She seemed so familiar to him yet surely he had never seen her before; it was a very young female coyote, maybe a yearling, her female form just budding under ruddy brown fur. Her brown mane looked chopped, and she smelled distinctly of Anathema, What business have you at the Inferni borders? This was intended to sound harsh but instead it came out in merely a whisper.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 02-18-2012, 12:05 AM

She almost rushed forward to meet the horse she had known so well but somewhere inside she believed this was a test as well. Her heart pounded deep inside her chest as her grey lavender orbs rose up to meet the owner of the beast she had brought to these lands. Her hand shook slightly as the male dropped to the ground and spoke. She couldn't stop her ears from folding back against her skull as he spoke. It was like he had forgotten all about her in the span of a moon. She wasn't certain what she had expected when she returned from her scouting duties but she hadn't expected the words on his lips to be so cold, so ghostly.

Darkness brewed in her greyed eyes as she swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. "Everything.. I once thought." Was this his way of telling her he'd forgotten all about her. Her tiny form wasn't easy to forget but she had disguised herself in different shades for the full phase of the lunar and in that time she had even forgotten that she wasn't the same, not on the outside at least. She just wanted to come home, to find her nephew, curl up with her crazy feline companion and return to her duties, if she really was that easy for Helotes to forget.

She glanced away as she growled. "Who did you find this time to replace me so quickly.. Helotes." She had almost forgotten the pain of his actions, but at being forgotten in such a small amount of time stung worse than anything she had ever imagined. Her eyes flashed slightly as she studied the male before her quietly, waiting.

Helotes Lykoi · 02-18-2012, 12:37 AM

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Poor Helotes, this whole situation is sad... / +340

His appearance seemed to trouble the girl, as her large ears folded down against her head. Loners and newcomers often had this anxious reaction, but this time it was different. It was as if this Anathemian was surprised at his words and… disappointed? Helotes was utterly confused, though his features did not show it. But then, words came from her lips, and those lavender eyes he knew so well turned on him and it was like a poison tipped arrow for his heart.

He stopped breathing in that moment, and became ridged, eyes widening and pupils shrinking as the shock of realization hit him. She had returned, his Zana had returned. A million questions suddenly cascaded through his mind like a rushing river; why did she look that way? Why did she smell like Anathema? Is that where she had been? He could not formulate words before she spoke again, this time with words that stung him upon his soul like a thousand needle pricks. He knew what those words meant, and a cacophony of emotions swept over him; anger at Ezekiel, for telling her about his time with Halo; frustration, that Zana would think a tryst such as that would mean more than what he felt for her; sadness, that she hadn’t even given him the chance to explain himself before disappearing from the lands for an entire month.

But she was back now, and he wasn’t confident in any of these emotions, so he showed none, and forced his mind and expression to go blank and stoic. He stared down upon her with dead eyes, Zana, you have returned. I shall inform Ezekiel. He turned then, clicking his tongue and Yegua wandered over slowly and he could tell she had been listening and was upset with him. She flicked her tail angrily as he went to mount her again, she nickered at him venomously, obviously upset that he would just leave Zana there. Helotes stood by the mare’s side for a moment, his hands entangled in her mane, his back to Zana; then with an inward sigh, he turned back to the woman he loved, Do you wish to ride back with me? He asked, a slight edge of gentleness to his voice.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 02-20-2012, 05:54 PM

She watched him, a dull aching in her chest as his expression never changed. Even when it seemed that he finally had realized who she was the male was nothing more than formal and brisk. Her eyes shadowed with rage as he seemed to have found a way to show her that she was replaceable with smooth words and lacking emotion. She too could play that game, she knew fully well as she raised herself up to her full height as she replied sharply. "No need to report to Ezekiel. He's known where I've been this whole time." Her eyes watched him, challenging him as she waited to see what would become of this reality of star crossed lovers upon their reunion. It seemed that his heart had grown cold in the winter's last lunar cycle, perhaps he had not been worth her time after all.

He turned away, preparing to mount up as she seemed to believe that was it. She was going to be left at the border with little more than an acknowledgement that she was still breathing and alive to the rest of the world. The tiny woman was prepared to accept this, for it had been one of the possible paths they would face in the future and in her time away she had grown use to the idea that while some got their happily ever after, it was far fetched for the tiny scarred freak of nature who chose to embrace what she was instead of run from it.

While he showed no signs of wishing to speak again she turned to follow the edge of their lands towards the river, knowing that she would need to find Ezekiel to report and gather Timori and her foolish cat companion. When she had turned her back to the male who once had stolen her heart it seemed that something inside him had shifted as his words fell upon her ears. She was quiet a moment before she asked. "Do you want me to?" It was not her choice to make. She would not force him into any sort of partnership, friendship, companions, lovers, mates..whatever..it had never been her choice to make, she never believed she would have a choice in the greater things in life.

Helotes Lykoi · 02-20-2012, 09:26 PM

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OOC / +244

There was a pregnant pause as she turned to look at him. His heart sped up, some semblance of emotion bubbling up in his stomach and he nearly felt sick for it. She looked so foreign in the dim light of the morning, in that strange, dark fur. It would have been like meeting her for the first time, had it not been for their frustrating history. He remembered the first time they had actually met, where she had proven to him that he should respect her, and he had become enamored with her. But now, they stood staring at each other, both too hurt, too fragile to even be in each others arms, something that he so desperately wanted.

Her words had meant to sting, he was sure, but Helotes had already known that Ezekiel knew of her whereabouts, but Helotes had never known she would return. But here she was, standing in front of him trying to look at dignified as she could, a mask that he could see right through. She was waiting for him to answer her question, on whether he wanted her to ride back with her and he knew that it was a challenge. If he were to concede, it would show weakness, if he refused, it might quash whatever hope there was for conciliation between them, but he would save face. Therefore, he stood there silent, unmoving, his eyes never wavering from hers before plainly saying, Yes.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 02-24-2012, 10:22 AM

The little woman had no clue how they had ended up here. She could think of nothing that she could have done to have driven the male into the arms of the one creature in the lands that was poison to her in every way. Yet, he had gone and those small voices of doubt had spent the last moonspan filling her world with darkness and despair. She had returned from her mission, performing her duties to the letter and not faltering because of a heart filled with rage, hurt and turmoil. Now though it was a moment in time for change and she wasn't certain what the answers would reveal.

She stood alone waiting for an answer but it almost seemed like one would never come. She was almost ready to give up on his stubborn pride when finally he granted her the right to know that he did indeed want her to accompany him across the lands. She didn't let him see the emotions that brimmed over as the first step was taken. She still knew nothing of how he really felt about her or what path this was leading down but it seemed that sooner or later she would find out.

Zana took the final step to move to the horse's side, her eyes cast up upon Helotes form as she reached her paw up, a slight tremor running through her arm as she waited for her larger cousin to pull her up onto the mare's back with him.

Helotes Lykoi · 02-25-2012, 07:12 PM

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OOC / +300

And she came to him, thank God. He had so missed the way her tiny hips swayed when she walked, and he nearly lost it, running to her and taking her into his arms and showering her face with coyote kisses. But he refrained, she frightened him, she had some power over him, and all he could do was mount Yegua and lift her up to be seated behind him. Once she was there, he gave a click of his tongue and turned the mare back towards the mansion.

There was silence between them for a long while, just the sound of the hooves hitting the dirt and the deep breathing of the horse, and to Helotes, the intense pounding of his heart. He still felt as if he might be sick, and made a note that he would have to make some tea for himself later to calm his nerves. But Zana was back, and as the cold tendrils of shock began to creep away from his heart, he became more and more elated. He had been so lonely without her, the only companion he had had been Vesper, but they weren’t nearly as close as he had been with the small Lykoi woman. Even his own siblings hadn’t been there, all dealing with their own lives. To have her back was the greatest gift in the world.

Finally, he glanced back at her, his umber eyes nearly glowing, I missed you… Zana… He breathed, his throat nearly choking up as if he may cry. He knew she was angry with him, and that him having been with Halo had hurt beyond even what he could imagine, but didn’t she know that he loved her? He needed to tell her, but he was too afraid to do so now.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 03-04-2012, 02:02 PM

ooc: you need to poke me from time to time to make me post.. con prep getting in the way.. c.c

ic: She was reminded every step of the way that she was different as she killed the distance between them. When he lifted her like she was nothing to place her behind him once more she was remind of how she was like a small doll within the clan of strong and deadly women. Ezekiel has reminded her that she was dangerous, that she was a force all her own, but when it came to her dark hued cousin she felt like she was cascading down the river rapids with no end in sight. She closed her lavender grey orbs and took a deep breath, trying to force away the turmoil of emotions that were taking hold.

She had kept her eyes closed most of the ride, not from fear but because it was easier that way. The heat that radiated from Helotes body, so close to touch, yet so far away, was still felt. The sound of him breathing, the clomp of the mare's hooves, even the late winter sounds of the world around them could drown out the whispers in her mind as for once in her life she was truly afraid. Those of Lykoi blood were not creatures to be fooled with, each just as dangerous as the next, but there was a wreckless madness she had inherited as well, from a line just as pure in it's own way. Perhaps this was not the life she was suppose to life, but it was the life she'd chosen.. and she would follow down this dark winding road until the sunlight shone again.

She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't realized that Helotes had been speaking to her, until her voice seemed to catch in his throat. She had been balanced precariously on the back of the horse, not allowing her hands to twine around his waist for fear of the fire she might start, but in that moment she almost fell from her perch, throwing out her tiny hands, her small fingers curling around his waist as her claws brushed against his skin. She could almost swear that the mare had put a little extra umph into her step to cause the unearthing but what could the small woman say that wouldn't sound like a childish accusation. Instead she was silent for far longer than she intended.

Her eyes were misty as she finally spoke, her voice thick with unspent raw emotions, "Aye, I've missed you too.." She knew that if she spoke his name that she would fall. That she would no longer be the strong willed stubborn ghost of the clan. That she would turn into something else.. she wasn't sure if he was ready for what she could become.. and she hadn't given him a chance either...

Helotes Lykoi · 03-07-2012, 07:16 PM

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Short ending post, I’m going to go post in your AW thread now/ +188

Just after he had spoken, Yegua did some smart ass move that caused the tiny woman to wrap her arms around his frame. He tensed for a moment at the touch, but then smiled and turned his head to look at her as she affirmed that she had missed him to. It warmed the icy chill that had been in his stomach and sparked a flame there, heating his body up to normal temperature and threatening to go even higher.

He did not say more until the mansion came into sight and he gave out a loud yipping call for Ezekiel. Once they arrived in to the front lawn, he dismounted and gave out a hand to help Zana down, I’m sure you are tired, but you must speak to Ezekiel. Your room is still as you left it, I hope we can talk again soon. and then he gave her another cautious yet genuine smile before leading Yegua towards the stables. The horse nickered at him softly, as if congratulating him on a job well done, but he was too enraptured in his own thoughts to notice.

Zana Avaya Lykoi · 03-08-2012, 06:22 PM

The silence that sat between them after those words were spoken seemed to drag on forever but it was a solid sort of silence, not the eerie unknown that could twist and turn your life upside down. She knew she should have fully removed her paws from around his waist but the comfort was there and it had been so long since she had felt the warmth of another. She stole a glance at him when he turned to gaze at her, a weak smile upon her lips as she knew inside she was trying to fight a battle she knew she would never win. It seemed though that the long comforting silence had finally come to and end at last though.

She looked down at the man as he offered his hand to her. She hesitated at first but in the end she allowed the male to assist her. It was like electricity when their bodies brush briefly as she caught her breath. She closed her eyes at his words, knowing they were true as she nodded in agreement. There were duties to be performed and her young nephew to collect. Her heart ached as she watched him turn away but at the same time there was the warmth and excitement at being back..being home. This was home...

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