[html]  I promised myself I'd get this up before I went to my friends' house :o Backdated to the 9th.
Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?
Naniko had been doing all right since she and Conri's fight...as well as she could have been. When he had been taken away from her before it had been really painful..she hadn't known if she would survive it. But now that he was back, it seemed that there was just as much pain and hardship as before. This time it was her own fault, though. She shouldn't have gotten drunk and messed around with Lucifer and Kansas...shouldn't have gone to Inferni without telling him. She understood that he was mad.
She would have been mad, too. She -had- been mad. When he'd gone to Inferni he had been mauled. Somehow she had gone there, spoken to Gabriel, and left without getting a scratch on her. Maybe he didn't fight girls, especially pregnant ones.
She sat next to the lake, looking out over the waters. It was nice to have a lake when their pack was landlocked...a source of fresh water and food through even the harshest weather. Clouds rolled overhead, looming darkly above her, promising rain within the next few minutes. She didn't enjoy getting wet but she stayed where she was, watching as the first few drops hit the water. How could she have been so stupid, messed things up this badly for herself? She'd always wanted to put the pack first...and how could they run a pack together if they were fighting? She didn't know if he was around the lands or not...she'd been sleeping outside of the house. Naniko closed her eyes, feeling the droplets hitting her fur but not caring any more.
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The pain and anger had taken over, controlled him, for the better part of the time that they had been apart. He'd been staying out of the lands though lingering close enough to the borders to ensure that they were all safe and, still, no matter how badly Naniko had hurt him, he would still not let harm come to her. He loved her with all of his heart and, he supposed, that was why it all hurt so badly. Conri also understood many other things about the situation, but it was the questions that he didn't have answers to which kept him away from home. He could only recall bits of what she had told him that night. He didn't know if she said why she had done so, why they had lost their children, why everything was suddenly in shambles.
The young male knew though. Knew that if he didn't return and speak to her that things would never get better. His questions would never get answered, and they couldn't keep going at things the way that they had been. They had others that depended on them to run things, no matter if they were in a personal squabble or not. They had a pack, a family and, if anything at all, they should not suffer through the personal troubles of their superiors.
Conri watched her in silence while she sat, feeling no need to find shelter from the rain that had started, slow at first and then picking up. It fit the mood in some sort of odd way. Maybe it was trying to tell them something. He knew that watching her from afar would get nothing accomplished though, which was why he forced himself to make a move. Quietly, tender-footed, he made his way to the edge of the lake. The young hybrid stopped when he reached the very edges of the water, seating himself on the ground just a few feet away from her, and said nothing.
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Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?
She didn't want to leave the lands unless Conri told her to go. Naniko didn't know if he would do that...he'd said that he would leave, if she was remembering things right. But this was his pack, his idea to begin with...if either of them were to go, it should be her, by all rights. Plus, she was the one who had done all of this.
He'd known where she would be, somehow. She had gone in to check on Apollo every once in a while, but he was pretty independent...as long as there was food in the food cache in the basement he could get by. Soon enough he would be hunting all by himself. Sirius and Taliesin had left, two of the children...maybe he would go too, eventually. She hadn't stuck around her birthlands for very long when she had been a pup.
She could just barely make out his reflection in the water now that the rain was really falling, splashes of oranges and creams in between ripples and raindrops. He had approached her...but for what reason? She turned her eyes to him slowly, sadly. Maybe he'd come to tell her that he was going for good...but by his own choice, this time. That she was disgusting and that she would have to take care of the pack by herself. That was something that she was almost certain she wouldn't be able to do. Not without him. She always looked to Conri for guidance, with the last few weeks being the exception.
"You're here."
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"I've never been far.." He commented quietly, doing his best not to look at her. Instead, jade eyes danced across the top of the rippling water, staring down at the distorted images that it displayed back to him. He wanted so badly to look at her, to stare at her and hold her, but found that, in his head, it seemed impossible. He could hardly even think about Naniko without the image of Lucifer popping up, touching her and holding her, when it should have been himself in that image. It made his stomach twist and swirl to think about it, often causing him to feel like he would be physically ill from it, but it hadn't actually reached that point yet.
Leaning forward just slightly, Conri reached out to touch the top of the water with the tips of his fingers, running it across and breaking the ripples there before returning his arm to his lap. "I just didn't want to be around here for a bit.." He explained quietly, head tilting back to cast his gaze toward the sky. Why would he want to be here? There was pain here waiting for him. He had come back now, though, which had to mean at least something at the time.
Conri thought that he had the whole thing planned out in his head. He would come back and ask her why, get all of the answers to all of the questions that he had been left with but, as he sat there staring at the sky, none of the things that he had planned would come to him. There was only silence. Silence that he wanted to badly to break but found himself unable to do so.
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[html] Wow--the song "Apologize" matches this thread. o_o
Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?
"Oh." She said simply. She had already said that she was sorry, told him what she'd done...and he'd chosen to go. She didn't understand why he was talking to her now or why he'd approached her. Maybe he didn't know what to say? Or...maybe he couldn't open his mouth without yelling at her. But even yelling would have been better than this, this silence. Naniko didn't know what she could say to make things better. Maybe they would never get better. "I'll stay out of your way."
When she had first been stuck on her own she'd dealt with it. Naniko didn't like being without the company of others, but she had been able to get by without Kaelyn, Roman, or even Iskata. All of them had left, eventually. But then Conri had come, and she had discovered that it was all right to do things on your own sometimes...but that every once in a while, everybody needed some help. Slowly, she'd come to depend on him. And now that he was back, she had fallen into that same pattern.
She turned, taking a few steps away before she stopped. She was still turned away from him, but she knew that he could still hear her."I know it doesn't mean much...and I'm not trying to disregard what happened. But sometimes wolves make mistakes. Everything I did was a mistake. I drank...which I've never done before in my life, I fell down the stairs because I wasn't paying attention, and I made a deal with the Devil. But I can't take it back. It's too late."
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Dude, you're right. ;O
Conri didn't know what to say or where to start. He also didn't know, if he did find something to say, if he would be able to control himself of his emotions while doing so. When Naniko moved though, something hit him hard. Just as she began to walk away a pang of fear struck his chest in such a way that it almost made him lose his breath. The thought of her leaving at that moment and him never seeing her again hit his head and it frightened him. It was that same hint of fear that he had when he had been with Stygian and had been forced to come to terms with the fact that he might never see her again.
That wasn't what he wanted. He'd already lost part of her to two other people, he didn't want to lose everything. As she spoke his ears slid forward to catch her words, thanking the skies that she had stopped walking just long enough to say something. Gathering himself quietly to his feet, he paused for only a moment before making his way toward her, carefully reaching his hand out to rest on her shoulder.
"I made a mistake too..." He admitted then, his voice quiet and sad. "The pups.. I know it wasn't your fault." He had always known, even when he had blamed her for it. "I know you wouldn't hurt them purposefully, you were only trying to keep Sirius safe, and that's all that matters.." It was at the end of those words that his weakness for her had taken over, causing a quiet whine and a soft shudder of his body. "Please don't go, Nani." Because he couldn't bear to lose her completely.
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[html] I've heard it so much that I really only like the remixes now, though D:
Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?
"I don't want to make you unhappy." That was all that mattered to her. She just wanted to make sure that he was happy, and if that meant that she would have to leave, then she would go. But now she wasn't sure what to do. "I want to stay. But are you sure that you can be happy with me here? I want to change...I want to be better."
She didn't know if she could look at him. "I'll talk to you more...and we'll make decisions together. No more going to Inferni, under any cirumstances"
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For a brief moment the young male didn't know what to say. She had made him unhappy. She had made him hurt and angry and a million other things all at once, he simply couldn't lie and say that she hadn't. "I'd be unhappy if you left..." The words came finally, quiet but still certain. He would be devastated without her, no matter what she had done before, and didn't want to see her go. Did he love her so much that he would endure the pain of knowing that she had been unfaithful? It was very likely, or maybe he was just afraid of letting go.
Conri shook his head in agreement, not considering the fact that she wouldn't see it, and left his hand resting against her. "But are you happy with me?" He asked then, ears falling flat against his head. If she wasn't, they didn't have to be together, no matter how painful it would be. He had to ask though, had to be sure that it wasn't the reason that she had strayed.
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Oh, why'd you have to be so cute?
"I've never been as happy as when I'm with you. I don't know...what I was doing then. I didn't know that alchohol could do that to me--I don't remember what happened at all. And...thank you, Conri. About the pups. I was afraid of telling you that most of all." She felt hyperaware, her ears pricked for every movement, every motion that he made. If she hadn't cared so much about Conri she wouldn't have even been here, telling him this. But she needed to make sure that he knew it, too. "I am so, so sorry. And all I can say is that I'll be a better mate to you, I promise. You deserve better than that."
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Conri, while aware that she was speaking to him, made no sign that the words she spoke even mattered. He heard her and he knew it, that was all that mattered in those few moments. Trembling, the young male moved forward, pressing himself against Naniko's back, allowing the hand that lingered on her should to drop down toward her chest, bending at the elbow to lay across her in a very faint hug. No matter how good it felt to hold her, the pain was still strong, but something told him that, eventually, everything good about their relationship would ebb the pain away for good. "I'm sorry I said those things.." He spoke quietly, his voice shaking as it came.
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She leaned back against him a little, putting her hand over his. He felt so warm. The rain was coming down harder than ever but she didn't seem to notice, her mind full of other things. "I didn't want them to die...I wanted those children more than anything." She had already decided that if she ever did get pregnant again that she'd stay in her four-legged form. She wouldn't be able to work with her herbs quite as well, but it would be much more difficult for her to fall down or get hurt if she was in that form. She'd stock up on medicines while she was still able to shift, in preparation for a later time.
"Let's go home."
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"I did too, Nani.." He admitted quietly, pressing his nose gently against the back of her head. He had wanted those children more than anything, at least aside from Naniko, but now they were a memory that he wasn't going to get back. Nodding his head some, Conri moved himself from behind her, leaving his arm around her as he stepped to her side, letting it rest over her shoulders and behind her neck, which he would leave there as he walked. Home sounded like the perfect idea. He couldn't think of anywhere better to be.
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