Come so far, only to fall so far
#1
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WC:520

There wasn’t a time he could remember being this emotionally unstable, like nothing could calm him, or that no matter of mental work could undo the damage done to his mind. His headaches had returned, the maddening terrible headaches he remembered from the year previous after the accident from the blizzard. What Amata had called Seizures hadn’t returned or rather if they did he couldn’t remember. His mind was going bonkers; he couldn’t remember what he had done after he had left the pack meeting. Each time his headache came back his memories seemed to black out as well. There was simply to much for the mountain of a man, the man who prided himself on keeping himself together to deal with alone but asking for help wasn’t something he was in the habit of doing. On top of this, his shoulder was healing painfully slow, each day brought no noticeable change, each movement caused a heap of pain to cut through him like a knife.


But his heart beat like some off cue drum, the rhythm messed up and beyond repair, not from some disease, but because it was truly broken. It had all rushed up to him in one heaping pile of shit storm, Nayru leaving, Saul leaving, the encounter at the borders, the meeting, demotion, but the final kicker was his distance from his mate, if he could call her that anymore. Being punished wasn’t something he was upset about but the manner in which he was punished was unspeakable. Shamed in front of the pack and by his mate whom knew him best. He often thought of Jace as well, knowing the woman was in the same position as he was. But he didn’t go and seek her out, there was no point in chasing up allies to a cause that mattered little. It was all too complicated; if his mate didn’t happen to be the alpha or if he had had no mate at all he would have left Ichika that night and would have never returned. But that decision had been choked back with quite a bit of fortitude. It had been easier without X’y around, since she had left for her best friends pack. No border patrols, at least by him, he couldn’t speak for Jace, and without X’y around he wasn’t sure anyone else would do them, but he hoped someone was taking up the responsibility, he hoped.


But today he found himself staring idly at his shop, he wasn’t able to work, and that ate at him too. Normally swinging a hammer at some unfinished bit of hot steel was a good bit of stress relief. A long sigh escaped his throat; a hand raised up to message his temple. Nothing he had helped with these headaches, and they brought on the shakes, which aggravated his shoulder and made him feel so much worse as well. His tall and flawed form turned from the shop, unable to look upon it anymore. Too much sadness and drama to deal with, and no alcohol to escape with he was faced with another dismal day of puttering around and feeling useless.


Image courtesy of Frau Böb@Flickr; table by the Mentors!

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#2
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:]


Sage sat astride Lennon, her body swaying in a lazy, melancholy way as his long, slow strides carried her through the lands. She didn't want to do anything. She hadn't eaten since she'd gotten the news, and her stomach was rightly growling at her in protest. Normally one to eat at least one small meal every day, she had already begun to look thinner. The Ma-Tzu had even neglected her drug of choice, though a few rolled joints were tucked into her bag nevertheless. Listless, she tugged one out, eyes puffy and half-lidded, baggy as she wore a pitiful frown, tucking the thing between her lips. It took her another while to slowly dig out a book of matches, but she lit one and the end of the joint with it. A heavy cloud of smoke followed her after that first breath of the sweet musky stuff, and she was quickly puffing away at it, nursing it and clinging to it like she might a good friend, if she had any.


The Ma-Tzu's stallion sensed her depression, and would occasionally glance back at her, large brown eyes wearing the closest horsey expression to concern. Sage did nothing but stare back, unblinking, unfeeling. It hurt so much. What was she supposed to do? Go on, she told herself, but it was hard to believe, you have to live your life. She knew it was true, but she felt like she just couldn't. Sage had made a botch of her entire stay in Inferni; she wasn't even allowed back, even now, and she often wondered if Ezekiel had spies watching her and her pack. Most of those thoughts had faded now, though, and were replaced with more urgent ones. Her current pack, the one she'd thought she'd come to live and die in, seemed to be falling apart. Two deaths at the borders, the abandonment of her father, Nayru, Pripyat. She remembered Pripyat's words, his sullen welcoming. "I hope you come to find peace and happiness in Ichika," he'd said, but it meant nothing now. There was no peace, it seemed, not ever. And happiness was fleeting from her.


When she came upon Saluce, she barely realized it. By now, her mind was a thick fog, and the tight knots in her stomach were wrenching from hunger and from anxiety. Large chocolate ears swerved, barely registering, and right after soft ambers swayed hazily towards him. "Saluce?" she said, ever-so-softly. If she hadn't known better, it might have been a dream. Lennon had slowed to a stop beside the large gray figure, and as her wits came about her she recognized it truly as the newest Exultare. He was Xy'rin's mate, but it had been clear to Sage that his demotion had been a heavy blow to their relationship. She didn't want to mention that to him, though. Really, she just didn't want to do anything. She blinked, and some of the cloudiness went from her eyes. She could still see his fresh scars, and her ears fell against her head at the noticing. "How are you healing...?" she asked flatly. Her concern was true, but her heart was just not in it. Sage wondered if he would notice.


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#3
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WC:450- <3

As much as the big mountain of a man dwelled on his own problems he hadn’t been so selfish to realize that others may have been suffering as well. He wondered idly if the rift between his mate and himself would ever be repaired or if a simple repair could truly heal it. It was just his luck, to find someone he truly loved and he’d find a way to fuck it up. But he couldn’t continue to idly think of his own problems when the familiar sounds of a certain horse came close by.


His blues turned along with his head to spy her, but it wasn’t the same vibrant woman he usually saw. Well she hadn’t been the happiest the last time he had seen her. Was he destined to bring sadness to everyone? No that was another selfish thought to think he was the reason he could perceive her sullen mood. He smiled but it was the only form of genuine pleasantness he could muster to her. It had never really crossed his mind to think of the connection between this woman and the former Alpha. But it had been recalled plainly enough and he could take a guess as to why she was so sad.


“I lost my father when I was very young, I never got to really know him.” He started, completely leaving her own question of his health alone. The big brute was much more of a kind hearted beast capable of being severally wounded that some could perceive. “I can’t express how much I understand the ache in your heart, but I do rejoice in the fact you had the chance to know him Sage.” He continued, a long sigh escaping his lips, before blues looked back up to her.


“It never gets easier, when Nayru left without a word to me, I tried to take it as best I could, but Saul leaving really affected me. Two young adults, in one case my adopted son and the other one I considered my daughter even though never in any formal notion.” He said. His sullen mood reflected in his slow speech.


“Is there anything I can do to ease your pain Sage? I know I can’t bring him back all though I wish I could. You’re far to kind and sweet to have such a forlorn look on you.” He gave her horse a gentle pat with his good arm, knowing the beast was more capable of taking care of her and he guessed for now that she was in capable hands or rather hooves if this beast was leading her around and keeping her out of trouble.


Image courtesy of Frau Böb@Flickr; table by the Mentors!

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#4
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When he didn't answer her question, for a moment she was unsure she'd even asked it. Sage blinked down, considering dismounting. Saluce's speech kept her ahorse, though, and she listened, ears back and frowning. It was hard to remember that others had been affected, too. It seemed to Sage that some other absences were more noted, and it made her wonder about her father's lack of presence in the pack. He had been distant for a while, she supposed. Maybe her job had kept her too busy to notice enough, but she'd thought he would be around. She never thought he would leave, not again. She sighed, looking away. "I'm sorry... Thank you, Saluce..." she looked back at him, once-bright ambers dull and bitter with hurt " But I never knew him, I guess. Not really." Swallowing her urge to cry again, she took another shaky breath. "It's a shame about Saul, love. I didn't get the chance to know him," she said, with another pained frown. So much was sad in the world lately.


Sage shivered as a breeze pulled at her messy brown hair, rubbing her arms and leaning forward to cling to the neck of her steed. Glancing up at the sky. The sun was low but light, covered by clouds, it's face hardly recognizable through the fog. It was a chilly day. "I hope the spring comes soon," she mumbled, nuzzling against the warmth of Lennon's body. "I'm sick of the cold and the grey."


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#5
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WC:320

His words didn’t have the intended effect; he had wished they would have lightened her burden and may have brought a soft smile to her lips, but it was too wishful to think that. Sullen blues gazed up at her and her shivering form, his own fur was built for this weather but he was maybe ignorant to her own fur patterns or if she was susceptible to the cold or more so than he would have realized. Again he patted the horse before turning to the building he used as his shop. A fire could be built rather easily and he did have some alcohol there stored for a rainy day fund, and today seemed about as dark and rainy as the name sake derived.


“Would you like to join me in my shop? I could build a fire easy enough, with your help,” he pointed to his injured shoulder with a smirk trying to lighten the mood. “And I have a couple of bottles of whiskey I pilfered from town, seems much more fitting for the occasion than something as joyful as wine.” He remarked quietly. He really didn’t leave much of it up for debate, she was a distraction from his own problems, and he could easily put himself to work trying to help someone else than trying to fix himself.


“I insist on it really, I don’t get to socialize with a lot of the pack as much as I’d like and I could use the company.” He never operated as if he was currently the lowest ranked wolf in the pack alongside Jace, as much as the demotion had shamed him he acted as he always did, uncaring of rank and more caring of the respect he held for the individual. His form started it’s slow walk back to the building, the crippled man in so many ways finding a comforting swell in him from having someone to talk to.




Image courtesy of Frau Böb@Flickr; table by the Mentors!

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#6
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so i kinda winged it on the description of saluce's workshop... so if it's too specific lemme know. 8D

At the mention of his shop, she managed a glance past Saluce. Maybe she'd noticed it without realizing, or maybe she'd ignored it in her self-pity, but there it stood. A humble shack, fit for a man and his work. Heavy eyelids parted slightly to get a better look, and she opened her mouth for a breath. He went on, saying that he had liquor. A fire does sound nice, she thought with a miserable shiver, rubbing her arms. She thought about it for a long moment, until Saluce insisted. A feeble smile crept across her lips; she could use the company, too, and she was grateful for his outreach, even if she could hardly recognize it. Eventually, she nodded quietly, mumbling, "Alright," before sliding down Lennon's side onto the ground. Brittle, dead leaves crunched beneath her feet, cold on her paw pads. Patting the horse on the rump and signaling him to graze, she followed Saluce inside.


"Thank you," she managed sadly once they were inside. Saluce's workshop was nothing she would get excited about, but it had a lived-in quality that she appreciated. Maybe it was just the warmth behind the walls, outside of the cold, but either way it was welcome. She spied tools strewn about a workbench, and noted bits of various metals lying around, half-finished. "Do you make armor?" she asked quietly, embarrassed for not knowing more about him.


The chill in her bones was subsiding, but her heart was still heavy. Her stomach was still in knots, and she still needed badly to eat and sleep. Maybe tonight, she could. Sage didn't think she would ever understand her father's disappearance, and she wasn't sure if she could even forgive him again. Like as not, though, if he showed his smiling face to her again, hugged her tight and called her princess or flower again, she'd melt. He was her daddy, after all, absent as he was.


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#7
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WC:330

He ushered her inside the building, his own form drifting toward his stacked cord wood, that took up one side of the shop. Saluce somewhat selfishly kept it inside, so no one would come across the stash and think to start pilfering from it, but it also provided a means to keep it dry as well. The man used his good arm to gather up a couple of pieces and started off to the furnace. It was a simple hearth in the middle, bricks, stones and other materials made up the built structure. Without the ability to acquire mortar it had all been pieced together as exactly as he could.


“I can, I don’t make it often, takes a lot of materials to make, which a lot of them are becoming rarer and rarer. Without any good trade routes in this area, I doubt it will be possible for much longer to make even the simplest items. I tried to make some contacts at the faire but most of them where obviously to the items I required.” He explained as he piled the wood. Once enough had been piled up he fixed a nice little pile of twigs and kindling. Once done he simply pulled out a match and started working on getting the fire going.

It took a few tries, but soon enough a small flame took, that slowly started to grow into something that would provide warmth for the two. The man changed his mission once he was satisfied, walking to the back and fumbling around with a cabinet before pulling out rather successfully a bottle of whiskey. The faire had provided other things though and he had traded for a little bit of a stash while there.


“So what have you been up to lately?” he asked simply enough, trying to spark some conversation as he popped the cork on the bottle and took a swig of the stinging liquor, before offering the bottle to her.


Image courtesy of Frau Böb@Flickr; table by the Mentors!

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