bury your head

Myrika Tears · 03-02-2012, 03:42 AM

[html]

7 June 2010. Near Thornloe.
(331)

The day was upon them at long last. The simple knowledge that today, she'd be leaving and heading east, heading toward where their mother was supposed to be, along with all the rest of her family -- no matter how frightened she was of them, Myrika looked to the future with feverish hopefulness. Alongside it, of course, panicked anxiety bubbled and gurgled, broiling in the pit of her stomach. These feelings had brewed for months, and now the day of their departure served as alembic to her feelings of apprehension and hope both.

More than she wanted to arrive in this new place, however, she wished to leave behind this old place. Their small cottage was peaceful enough, a place of pleasantry and good memories, but the rest of Thornloe... Myrika was not so sure. Leaving today meant she'd go quite a few months without seeing Alina anymore. The petite girl, with her straight hair the color of sunlight itself, seemed to never tire of reminding Myrika how ungainly and big she was, especially for a coyote. There was at least this piece of good fortune, and though Myri did not like to admit it, leaving behind Alina and her vicious pack of supporters was enough of a boon without all the rest.

She picked up the last of Eira's hooves and inspected it, using a thin piece of metal to pick at the dirt and occasional small rock stuck between shoe and hoof. She had done the same for the other horses, and this was the last of it. And then... what? There was little else to do but up and go, she thought. The mahogany-haired woman took her time with this last hoof, sliding the little bit of metal here and there until Eira grew impatient and snorted brusquely, pulling her foot. Myri released it and stood, frowning. A moment later, she turned back toward their cottage, moving toward the entrance to see Cassie's progress.

Myrika is by Alaine!

Cassandra Asylum · 03-02-2012, 04:10 AM

[html]

She did not really want to go. The cottage was familiar and beautiful and perfect in all the little ways that she was sure only she noticed. In the mid-summer morning, the weather was crisp and pleasant. The partly cloudy sky kept the sun at bay outside, and the breeze weaving in through the open windows kept the air in the house moving. It rustled the leaves on the sprig of mint flowers that sat in the living room, and everything was just the way she wanted it to be. She had no particular love for Thornloe or the inhabitants there, but they were not members of Thornloe. They were a perfect little family at the top of a gentle hill, and she was sure that leaving would not improve upon anything.

Cassandra had never known her mother, so of course she could not miss her. Her father was not perfect, but it was so clear that he tried hard, and she found it easy to forgive what needed to be forgiven. And so, she supposed, that was why she was leaving. The albino girl would leave her home because she had been given the choice, and she would choose not to be left alone.

She folded the last blanket and packed it carefully in the canvas bag. There was room left, but what else to bring? There were dozens of things still in the room, of course, but if the essentials were done, how was she to choose between the rest? Standing, she surveyed the room, but felt distant and unfocused. Books were heavy. Pointed tools needed to be carefully wrapped, as did quills and ink. How long would they be gone, anyway? Footsteps coming into the cottage came as a welcomed distraction, and she turned around as her sister appeared. "We have some room left, but I don't know what to bring," the girl said quietly. "What do you think?"

[/html]

Myrika Tears · 03-02-2012, 04:45 AM

[html]

(306)

Myrika is by me!

The cottage had served as the only home Myrika had ever known. Her earliest memories were of this place. As most did, she looked back upon the past with golden fondness, forgetting whatever hardships they had endured at the time. As she stepped through the doorframe, the innards seemed almost gloomy. Though their things, still quite filling the room, were warm comforts, the cottage itself seemed small and dreary to Myrika, who even then needed to stoop a bit to avoid hitting her head on the bared wooden beams.

Her sister turned, seemingly come to the same conclusion Myrika had outside. She deliberately interpreted the question in as literal a manner as possible and surveyed the room, her turquoise eyes eventually returning to her sister. She shook her head slowly, mahogany curls moving with the motion. I think that's it, she said, lifting her shoulders in a rather helpless shrug. The tawny coyote offered what she hoped was a smile of reassurance toward her pale sister, though she was uncertain how it fit her face.

She wished she could bring more books, but as it was, she'd settled for just one. They were valuable and one of her favorite possessions, but they were also heavy and did not fare well on hard trails. She moved to one end of the little room, looking over the assortment of them stacked haphazardly along the rickety shelf. I think it might be good, she began, throwing a glance back toward Cassie before returning it to the books, to get out of here a while. This was nothing new she said, but in the high tensions before their departure, the comment might come across differently. The mahogany-haired coyote offered it in the hopes it might provide strength, but good intent did not always end with good results.

Cassandra Asylum · 03-02-2012, 04:59 AM

[html]

Certainly she believed that there were faraway places that were just as beautiful and perfect, and which could be come just as familiar. She had read, she had listened, and she had imagined, but reality was a different thing from dreaming. Dreaming was safe and without challenges, and she already had an idyllic place to wake up to and a warmer, larger bed to crawl into if things went wrong. She knew that reality did not have the same safety net, and even with her father and sister there with her, things would not always be easy. She was smart enough to know that she'd been very lucky so far.

Cassandra watched Myrika gravitate towards the books and pulled her ears back briefly. "Do you think we'll find her?" That was why they were going at all, right? If their mysterious mother wasn't to be found, how would they know? When would they come back? Would Kharma give up, now that his daughters were grown? Or would he keep searching and wait for them to tire? Were they ever coming back to the cottage? No one had said much on the issue, and the girl did not want to ask. She thought she already knew, anyway. And she wondered, if their mother had never left, whether they would be leaving Thornloe then at all.

"Do you really think we'll only be gone 'a while'?" Her voice was soft, as it always was, but full of many things that did not come to surface.

[/html]

Myrika Tears · 03-03-2012, 06:20 AM

[html]

Myrika is by Alaine!

She reached for one of the books, brushing a finger against the hard cover. It was darkened and dotted with signs of age, the sturdy cover even warped in one corner. What would it be like, never seeing these books again? The woman thought it entirely possible they were leaving forever, and perhaps even some tiny, yet unknown part of her was already committed to never returning, but Myri's conscious mind had every intention of coming back. Her chestnut-splashed muzzle curled into a frown, and her shoulders seemed to droop.

Maybe. Probably not, she said, unwilling to lie to her sister outright. But it's worth trying, even if not, she added, and not too quickly. She did not wish to defend their choice to leave -- what else was left for her and Cassie once Kharma was gone? Their family was not liege to Thornloe, but the pack had treated them kindly enough -- were they supposed to join up? The thought sent a flutter of nervousness through Myrika, who could not imagine belonging to the same pack as her tormentors.

And we'll be back, I'm sure of that, she added, now smiling. The tip of her tail even wavered, and she turned back toward the ghost-pale woman. But it will definitely be good to have a break. Vacation, like people used to do, she said, gesturing vaguely back toward the books. These were her only source of knowledge where humans were concerned; she had no inherent understanding of their culture, of course, but it seemed one which seemed to require constant toiling would also require breaks.

Cassandra Asylum · 03-03-2012, 06:02 PM

[html]

Most of all, she wondered if their father believed he would find his wife. He had stopped telling them stories about her months ago and seemed to have made an effort not to mention her much. She had been absent in their day to day lives for as long as she could remember, so it was an easy thing to forget except in those quiet evening moments when Kharma sat alone and was silent, with distant, sad eyes looking out the window. If Cassandra felt anything towards their mother it was resentment for leaving, not her children, but her mate. Kharma had said she'd left to find something, but what could possibly be more important?

Most of all, she wondered what their father thought might happen if they did find her. Would they return here? Would they be a whole, complete family at last? Would Rachias want that?

And if Kharma didn't believe (and who would blame him?), then what were they looking for, really?

"It's false hope, if not," the pallid girl said. "If we don't think we'll find her, then it's just a pretense." Perhaps there was bitterness in her voice. "We could just call it a vacation, if that's really what this is." Calling it a search left it open ended. Calling it a vacation meant that certainly, absolutely, they would come home, and that this was still home.

Cassandra leaned against the armrest of the worn old couch; it was a faded teal with some tacky sort of pattern on it, but it was comfortable. "I guess it will be nice to see beyond these hills, but..." She frowned and shrugged, not looking at her sister. "I don't know. I think daddy should try to find someone else..."

[/html]

Myrika Tears · 03-04-2012, 04:00 AM

[html]

(--)

There was some troubling truth to her pallid sister's words, and Myrika hesitated a moment, seeming to churn over this last from Cassie for too long. Her blue-green eyes looked down to the floor, following the lines of the wood flooring. She looked up as the red-eyed girl -- woman? Were they old enough to be called that yet? Myrika didn't feel like it, but she supposed they both looked it, for the most part -- readjusted on the couch. Then, with Cassie's words, the tawny hybrid jerked, moving to clasp both hands around herself. She hunched even harder and her face showed obvious displeasure in the idea.

Aaah, no, she muttered, shaking her head. What if she was weird? Or mean? Or what if she didn't like us at all? What if they had kids and liked them better? There were a billion things that could go wrong that way -- it was much easier and neater for them to pursue a ghost, wasn't it? Even as Myrika said and thought these things, she knew they were wrong. Even then, she was not ready to admit such. She couldn't imagine their father liege to anyone but the fantasy-mother she'd cooked up from memories and letters, but maybe in time she'd adjust. I'd rather it was just us for a little longer, she said lamely, sounding even to her own ears as though she plead to convince herself.

Myrika is by Nat!

Cassandra Asylum · 03-06-2012, 05:06 PM

[html]

She used to fantasize about it sometimes, the eventual return of their mysterious mother. Kharma had said that Myrika took after her, and so Cassandra had imagined an older version of her sister with white streaks in her hair and bluer eyes to her turquoise. She had imagined a cheerful, girly voice with a bubbly, youthful laugh, full of the kindness and optimism their father always spoke of. When Kharma stopped telling stories, she was left to make up ones of her own, but over time, as the months passed and no one came, the stories in her head became darker, less pleasant. There had to be a reason no one came.

"Our mother could be like that too," she said. "Weird, or mean, or with other kids. She could have changed. Found someone else. Why else? If she isn't dead." Cassandra stood from the couch suddenly, tail twitching. "Sorry," she said hurridly. "I just... I like it here. I like it with just us, too, and... I don't know." The albino girl didn't really know what she was trying to say. She didn't usually say so much, and perhaps that was exactly the reason why. Her words never came out the way she wanted; she stumbled over them, and she had a hard time standing behind them. Frequently, it felt like she only knew how to say the wrong things, whether they were insensitive or just inappropriate for the situation.

She went back to the bags and started to double check that everything was secured and properly tied and closed. "Are the horses ready? Do you think they know they won't be home a while?"

[/html]

Myrika Tears · 03-09-2012, 07:31 PM

[html]

I powerplay you. BYAHHH DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. No seriously, kick me if need edit.

Myrika is by Raze!

Myri had not thought about these things, and it was plain to see on her stricken face. Her tawny ears were all but invisible in her hair, and her mouth was grimly set, both corners turned downward in a frown. She shook her head at her sister's apology -- though the words provided a hurtful realization, it was better to think of these things now and prepare for them rather than being blindsided when they came, she supposed. The woman followed her sister's movement with her eyes first, then her feet, creeping over toward Cassie. The rust-hued coyote wrapped her arms around her sister's cloaked shoulders and hugged her from the side, though whether the gesture was in reassurance of herself or her pale sibling was not certain to even Myri herself.

I like it here with just us, too, but it will be just us -- for a while, anyway. I hope, she added silently. It'll be okay, she added, more firmly. Stepping back, she put a hand to the side of her face, looking toward the window, where she could just see the beginnings of the horse's small paddock. They're ready and they know something's up, but I don't think they know they're going anywhere, the woman said, shrugging. The horses seemed to sense their owners' excitement and anxiety, and of course, they read these emotions, but Myrika doubted horses were smart enough to guess at the inner workings of a Luperci mind, if horses were at all capable of guessing.

Cassandra Asylum · 03-12-2012, 03:25 PM

[html]

Argharblargh! Can end this? I guess?? XD

Truthfully, Cassandra did not know how much belief she had invested to all the terrible reasons she'd come up with for why their mother might have never come, but regardless, the bottom line was still that there had to be a reason, some reason, any reason. Because for Rachias to have abandoned her family without one would be the worst thing of all. The albino girl wanted closure for her father, and to a lesser extent, herself and her sister, more than she wanted her fairy tale mother, a nuclear family, and a "perfect" household. Her family was already perfect, and a mother -- a good one, as Kharma described, or a bad one, as she sometimes imagined -- would throw off the dynamic they already had. She didn't want things to change.

"You're right," she mumbled, turning to hug Myrika back, making an effort to be less clingy than she normally was. They were adults now, right? She couldn't let her insecurities dominate her anymore. She sighed and echoed. "It'll be okay." The red-eyed girl pulled back and spared a faint smile. "They'll know something's up when they're loaded up with all these supplies, I bet." She fetched one of the bags and slung it over her shoulder, then picked up another two to carry in her arms. "Come on. Daddy will probably be back soon."

[/html]

Myrika Tears · 03-15-2012, 04:00 AM

[html]

HERP. SURE. Also awkwardest WoTD use evar? Y.

Myrika is by Kiri!

Her sister seemed to relent, though Myri herself was not absolutely convinced their journey would come to a good end. Maybe it was a good idea to stay home and pack up, but part of her also could not accept the idea she'd live here, on the outskirts of a pack, for the rest of her life. Perhaps even eventually, someone would take a liking to her and want to become her mate -- making her a part of Thornloe. The thought was iniquitous, and it almost made her shiver. She withheld and smiled instead, for the pale coyote's benefit.

Yeah, for sure, she said, though her voice sounded faint. She wanted her father to hurry up and slow down at the same time -- they should get going, and they should never leave. Myri almost regretted their insistence at accompanying Kharma on this venture, but she refused those feelings. Regret was for old people, and she was young and full of possibilities and likelihoods. Show-off, she said, louder and grinning with her sister's chosen amount of bags. For her part, Myri put two over her shoulders and scooped up three, though she almost dropped one of the three on her way out the door.

Login




Remember me Lost Password?