everything used to be so perfect

Selene Vansenza · 03-17-2012, 05:27 PM

[html]

Hadley, by the Casa borders,

Leaving simply gave that wretched grey woman to advance on her beloved. Maybe taking off was simply a bad idea. Her arms had scabbed over, her bloody habit ceased for a little while. She had gotten support from friends, yet still felt unprepared for the inevitable coming pain of seeing Isa around Hadley. A wave of nausea roiled in her stomach. This was certainly fate. Selene wasn't meant to be happy with someone she loved. Sure, once happy with a man who didn't want her. Sel was aware she was acting ridiculous, yet Isa had broken the secure link of trust between herself and the mottled man back at home. As the cold breeze ruffled through her pelt, the young coydog couldn't help but shudder. All day she had prepared herself. Prepared for the painful goodbye to the one she adored. Often, her head would whip around to watch for the devilish and cruel woman, the one that had taunted her and threatened her. Shattered her soul and taken the pieces remaining. She had to speak with him though. Seek out the man who had apparently been unfaithful. Did he really have a soul? After the horrendous amount of "I love you"s and all the promising herself to him? She didn't simply waltz out and fuck around with guys, thinking of herself as Hadley's. Maybe the truth was, she wanted to be his. His only. Yet: Hadley didn't want her. Of course he wouldn't. She was just a little girl. Worthless.

How stupid she must have been! The laughingstock of Isa and Hadley's. She could imagine the man sitting with Isa...Their bodies intwined laughing about the things Selene had done, her stupid fucking innocence. Finally, Sel finally vomited in the bushes, forcing out whatever scraps of food she had consumed earlier. Even eating had become a tragedy. Never able to keep it down. Wiping her mouth, the young woman carried on.

Her feet wouldn't lift themselves off the ground, tied to this stupid worthless existence she now held. He was her existence. He was her way of life. Yet, unfortunately she had been nothing but passing game for the hybrid. Turning her sorrowful head up, the acclaimed lost soul spotted Hadley close by. Wandering closer, Sel didn't meet his eyes but spoke out softly, painfully as if a dagger had slipped itself into her heart. "I heard you didn't want me anymore." Scarlets averted themselves to the ground at her feet, her now-scarred body tense as if he would suddenly tell her to leave. She wanted him goddamnit! She wanted him to be her mate, her lover and everything else. But not someone who would tell her over and over again that he didn't want her. If he had told her that he wanted to go out and screw Isa, that wouldn't sting as much. It wouldn't be as horrible as the actual action. Instead he did. Hurt her. After the times he said he wouldn't. Sel choked on bile as she thought of Ismeme. The woman she had once entertained as a friend. No. Not anymore, and sure as hell not soon. "You care for Isa now, don't you?" The words that slipped her maw were unexpected, but all that riled up hate for Isa and the stinging and aching betrayal Hadley left her, what other way was there to go?

Selene longed to reach out and touch him, remind him how many times she'd die just for him. A choked cry escaped her lips, instinctually moving towards him. "To the end, Hadley...I'll care" Sel didn't care if he heard her or not, choking out the truth. Her expression became strangled, torn between darting towards the trees or staying with him. Gashed arms wrapped themselves around her body, attempting to hide the hideousness and everything she was from the big hybrid. He must like Isa's type anyway. Not some scared shitless little girl. Not once did she raise her voice, keeping her head down and away from meeting the eyes of brown. Whispering, softly as caninely possible, Sel murmured "How... You said you cared for me--W...Was that not true?" Sel looked ready to erupt into tears, hot angry and betrayed tears. Again, her small body trembled as if going to shatter in some wave of sorrow. She hated Isa! How could anyone do this?

Scarlet eyes swam, I've stayed yours all this time...Because I cared...Couldn't you see me try so hard? Didn't you see that I would hurt myself for you? This was it. This is what she was terrified of so many times, so many times she had told him this was her fear. Shadow had told her Hadley and herself "Were made for eachother" yet that didn't seem so true anymore. How ever fricken much she wished for it to be that way, it never was. Finally the young woman looked up to meet the eyes of her lover, her mortal executioner. Simply, she just shook her head and stepped towards him. Sel couldn't believe the pull, the magnetism around him. "Hadley..." No, this shouldn't be allowed of the chocolate hybrid, Isa had already shattered that. Stolen and devoured what was left of her soul. Looking away, her weak legs slumped to the soft ground, kneeling almost brokenly. Another reason to pass her by. So melodramatic. A coward she was. If wished, she could leave the coming evening. Leave her things behind, especially Hadley. Tears dripped into the soil at her feet, small fingers traced lines in the softened earth. How could Ismeme shatter this part of her so easily? Just a flick of her cruel fingers and some batting of her eyelashes, her world was torn apart. Large ears flattened, tail curling around her small form. He said he wouldn't hurt her! He asked for her to be his lover! Did he have a collection of women as lovers? If so: Sel couldn't be Hadley's anymore. The dagger at her waist slipped out, holding the cold metal in her hands. She contemplated cutting her palms again, distracting herself from what killed her so much. Instead she just threw the thing into the trees behind her, watching sadly as her way out disappeared. Slowly, the small woman stood, moving to stand about a foot away from his body, hands reaching to caress his face, realizing her mistake, they pulled back to hang limply at her side. "I'm sorry for being so inefficient...A burden to you...There's not a man in the world that would care for me--I can see why..."

cause when a heart breaks, it won't break even

Hadley · 03-17-2012, 05:45 PM

[html]

OOC wow that table's hard to read

Word Count → 000

Hadley had been pacing along the borders, going mad with worry. Something had happened between him and Isa when he'd gone to get supplies, and he couldn't even remember what it was. Even worse, Isa and Selene had gotten into a fight, both ending up damaged beyond belief. He knew about the fight, but Selene ending up underneath a tree with Isa as a shell near the fort was hard to explain. If it had been a real fight one should have been the victor, right? Selene had been avoiding him, he couldn't talk to her, couldn't find out what was wrong. Even worse, when he did find her trail blood ran along it.

A soft voice caught his attention. Relief flooded his features at Selene's appearance, only to return to confusion again at her words. Not want her? Why wouldn't he want her? She was the one who always stood beside him, the one he swore to protect, the one he asked to be his lover. His eyes widened with shock as Isa somehow find her way into the conversation. How had that happened? He did care for the female, but that didn't have anything with the conversation. Did it? The broken appearance forced Hadley to approach. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, comfort her, but he didn't know if it would be welcomed.

Her words of him caring for her being a lie had him vigorously shaking his head. He did care for her! How could he not? Granted, he wasn't very good at showing it. Maybe if he tried a little harder she would understand. Her words continued, and he couldn't resist. Hadley wrapped her arms around him. Don't hurt. How could he fix this? How could he bring a smile to Selene's face? He had so few words that he could speak, so few actions to express how he felt. You're not a burden.

Selene Vansenza · 03-17-2012, 09:37 PM

[html]

I use one of your tables next...

How could this situation be fixed? There was no plausible solution to this, at least none that came to mind. Seeing him just brought on much more pain, closing her eyes as another wave of trembling took her over. She was becoming weak, her appetite diminishing with the lasting hurt that they had left to her. He didn't seem to know what Sel was talking about, did Isa lie to her? No, the truthful hiss of menace had laced the grey woman's words. She had meant it. How could he keep a straight face with all this? How could he not know what threatened to take her down? She had lost. And they had played for keeps. Hadley was Ismeme's now. "Isa said...T-That-That you slept with her...I've been afraid of this." His arms were wrapped around her small broken body, it offered no comfort. Isa had been in these strong limbs. "And she...Said she could take you anytime...Because we aren't mates..." Selene wanted to be in his arms, wanted to be held. But under different circumstances. Not when she had been so tortured within. It should have given her comfort. Their love life was simply touch and go, never know what will come. And now it had. Now her life, her soul had been stolen from the grey harlot. "But it did hurt..,She hurt me...You wouldn't have...Wouldn't have-..." Sel felt hideous, her fur was caked with blood, her hair tangled so much that she was sure she would have to cut it all off. And rightly so. Men didn't like ugly women. And now she knew it. He assured her that she wasn't a burden or drag to him, simply she closed her eyes and buried into his arms. Hating how much she couldn't resist and fight against the more positive feelings towards the mottled man. "She's worth it...Not me. She beat me...She's won you. I'll never be strong, beautiful...I am a burden." Shaking her head, Selene pulled gently away, but just to stand in front of him. Not so soon. Not too soon after what had happened. Fingers reached up to touch his face softly, why was she so fucking stupid? It was this stupidity, this sort of thing that had hurt her in the first place. "I thought it was just me...I thought that was what a relationship was..." She trembled and moved back towards him, fighting the endless conflict in her mind. And she was losing. Her common sense was dying right before her. Ismeme had been in his arms, together they had broken Selene. Of course, she would either die or end up lost, without the thing she wanted most. She now knew, she wasn't cunning. She was far from alluring, and definitely unlovable. That's why he never said anything. "I am the stupidest little girl in the world..." She breathed, pulling herself back into his body. She was stupid. This would all happen again. He wouldn't think twice. Red eyes welled up with small tears once again. "I just wanted you to care...To notice me...To be my only lover and me yours..." Silently, she braced herself to be pushed away. Told off, being made sure that she knew she was hideous and unwanted. He would have Isa. At least he wouldn't hurt. This was what she truly feared, and always had feared being with Hadley. After all this time? How could he do that? After all her fearful confessions...They really went down the gutter. She didn't want to be a child, no not at all. Yet, her treatment had turned that way. "She hates me...She'll kill me for being with you...I guess you belong to her now--." The last couple words stung. Instantly having her turn away from him, trying so hard to accept her loss. It couldn't be done. It was her that challenged Isa, Hadley was forever unreachable. That was the awful truth. Selene had been a fucking coward and hid, ran away. Didn't fight for what she wanted. Held up the white flag in her stinking cowardice. Ismeme had won. And Hadley no longer was hers. Her tail drooped behind her. That day, all she wanted was to get a good dinner for Hadley and herself. Not knowing the shattering secret which had cut her soul down. "I wouldn't have ever dreamed of doing this to you...Because I love you..." He didn't love her. Those were the words never spoken, never acknowledged when Selene so hoped he would. That was true. When you jumped between lovers, you could get all the love you wanted, and never give it back. A life without hurt. She was starved of his company, maybe that was why she had tried to hold him so many times. But, she needed forever insurance this would never happen again.

[/html]

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 01:42 AM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

Slept with her? That wasn't possible. He would never hurt Selene in such a way. Never. His mind flashed to the empty space in his memories, where something had happened. Isa had said he'd been crying, calling for Selene. He didn't know what had caused that, just that it meant that Selene had been hurt.

Oh no. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Had he been crying because he had been the one to hurt Selene? Had he truly slept with another when his heart-yes, his heart, he finally admitted it-belonged to another? How could he do such a thing? His eyes widened with horror, hating himself. He released Selene, backing away. Sorry... She needed someone better. Someone that wasn't such a monster to do something like this to her. How could he? Even if he didn't remember, didn't know why, the fact was still there.

Her words cut him like a knife. No...yell at me, not you. You...are perfect. A gem. Something to hold close and treasure. A real life princess. Someone who didn't deserve this. Why did the words never come when he needed them? His heart was crushed as Selene turned away, saying that she had just wanted him. He had wanted to take her when the time was right, declare things properly. It hadn't happened. Even worse, Hadley was declared belonging to Isa. He couldn't speak, couldn't deny her. It was her right, for him having committed such a horrendous crime.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 02:36 AM

[html]

OOC here!

Her heart cried out for the man that stood before her, whenever she tried to confront things, however much they almost drove her to tears, it was her feeling guilty after. He told her it was his fault. No. It couldn't be. He had to have lost attraction for her, lost the fire she so loved to see. And here she was. An abomination of the order of the world. Someone never meant to live, someone never ever meant to love. He apologized, she just nodded. Was this apology to be honored? Soon though, he had moved away from her. Widened the small gap between them.

And what hurt most was when he said nothing about belonging to Ismeme. "That's what I thought..." Selene nodded sadly and stepped one pace back. That was right then. He cared for her. And Isa only. Jacinto had prodded her to go back, promised her happier days. What was she to do now? Head to Inferni with Jacinto to live with his mate? Selene trembled softly, this was her fate. "I guess...I'm not needed by you anymore..." She hated this...And she found herself foolishly seeking his comfort. Like a kitten searching for its nourishment, she moved back into his arms. She couldn't do this, unwanted and a burden to his life. "If you want me to stay--I will...But if I'm unwanted, I'll leave tomorrow morning." Head for the coyote clan, she wished that he would just fucking tell her that he cared! Ask her to stay, reassure her that this was the last time ever, that this tragedy would threaten her again.

Tiny hands gripped themselves together, a death grip caught between terror and fear, mixed with the inevitable links of sorrow. The flower around her neck had become a symbol, of her sorrow and the lasting adoration for the man who had gifted her with it. She so wanted to tear it from her body, but also cling close. Protect the tiny accessory as if her life depended on it. "I-I don't know what else to say..." The young woman craved to kiss him, hold him ever so close. Keep him with her, instead a hand caressed the side of her neck, wishing to smile and remind him over and over again about her love. There was nothing though, not yet. He hadn't shown anything, and she would still be the same stupid girl who was too naive to know that her lover, just wasn't attracted to her anymore. "I-I l-love y-You Hadley..." It couldn't be his fault! It had to be all Selene's! If only she had tried harder, if only she hadn't backed down like a coward...Things would be better...Not even able to handle herself any further, she hugged him tight. If this were to be their last memorable time together, she wanted to remember his scent...His gentle nature..."I don't ever want to let you go..." Sel said quietly, small tears slipping down her cheek. She could just never win...

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 11:04 AM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

Hadley shook his head. He still wanted Selene, still wanted to be with her. Selene returned to his arms, and Hadley wrapped them around her. He felt guilty holding her, holding something that he didn't deserve, something too good to be true. Her words, at least, held a sliver of hope. S-stay. Should he be allowed to say that? Wasn't it too greedy, asking her to stay after hurting her so much? She trembled in his grasp, scared and unsure.

With tears sliding down her face, Hadley finally found his words. Everything was beyond hope, a disaster. Still, at least he could finally grant her with what she always wanted to hear. L-love Selene. It wasn't even a proper way of saying it, causing him to blush deep red. At least he had managed it this time. He gripped her even tighter, for once not caring how much larger he was than her. He didn't want her to escape from his grasp.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 12:59 PM

[html]

OOC here!

How was she to simply guess something to this magnitude would occur again? If she was broken one more time--Who knew? It could be her last time. His arms were warm around her, she should be enjoying him right now! She should be kissing his face, and holding him tight. Every second her worth and self assurance slipped, why would he want her? Isa was clearly the victor and in every way much better. Was this just a game? How had this all happened? He likely didn't think of her pain hearing something like this, and he did it. She probably was nothing but an annoying gadfly in his existence, horrible and just as hideous. He told her to stay, but for what ends? How could she tell the man her fear of this all happening once more? Her life would be left in turmoil, probably ending up in Inferni instead. Why didn't he know he was all she had? Everything she had? Didn't she say sometimes that there was no one left? And this--Betrayal had hurt the small woman more than expected. Still, for some reason he wanted her to stay.

A choked sob escaped the lips of the charcoal and brown female, this was much too confusing to even think about. She should have left. Any sensible woman would know to. Prevent the chances of this happening again. But she couldn't let go of Hadley, just couldn't! She would be in her grave before anything wonderful happens. She was so terrified, Sel just wanted to leave Casa. This wasn't right, feeling unwelcome in your own home. His arms clung to her with a force startling to the broken woman, not understanding why he would do this so soon after. There was a tightness in her throat as he told her that he loved her, did he? Did he really? "You do?" Finally the hybrid found her voice, asking almost incredulously and as it wasn't to be believed. He couldn't love her. She was nothing, nothing but a mere little girl. One that was weak, a coward, and got upset much too easily. Why would he want that? "I don't want this to happen again. I-I was always scared of this..."

Then there was Isa. A woman she would forever fear and dislike, a once-possible friendship shattered as the mind of the coydog. "You've never...Touched me like that..." Not that she craved it, and hey. She could probably see why. She was a walking pile of dung in his shadow. At least to her eyes. And that was life. She should accept it by now. And here she was, a coward and never deserving someone like Hadley. The whole thing had been her fault. Why would Hadley go out and do that anyway? Afraid to touch the woman that loved him, seeing her hideousness shine through everything else. She pressed her blood-soaked body to his own. Eyes shutting in what could be a mixture of pain, self conflict, and love for the man in her arms. Red eyes still swam with terrified tears, how could she forgive him so easily? It was so stupid of her, she knew that chances she was taking. "Hadley...I-" wish you knew how much I cared...How much I wish for this to never happen again...How much I want to be just yours... Her mid continued, looking to the trees. "Love you..." Yes, she was probably the stupidest girl on the planet, however much her intellect was normal. So naive...She'll surely end up miserable again.

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 01:49 PM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

Selene continued to cry. This wasn't working. He hurt her too much. What could he do? The questioning in her voice broke his heart. He had done something unforgivable, and he didn't even remember it. Worse yet, without a memory of what had happened he could give no guarantee it wouldn't repeat, since he didn't know the reason why in the first place. Her cries about him not touching her in such a way was painful as well. He didn't touch her, because he was afraid of hurting her. All his actions to protect her had backfired.

There was one thing he could still do for her. As much as it hurt him to do this, he could set Selene free, to never have her hurt by him again. Not after this. Hadley's body stilled. Inside him he found a strength, one he had never used for himself, but was able to use for Selene. I love you. So we won't be together. Y-you find someone better. Someone who won't make you cry. Hadley released Selene, brushing the hair from her face. He studied it, memorizing the shape before turning and walking away, his steps strong and swift to leave her behind.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 02:08 PM

[html]

shortest post...ever

Her sadness instantly turned to shock as Hadley spoke those words that shattered her soul. What? Leaving her? "Hadley-No...Don't do this..." She cried out, reaching for him as he already was walking away. "Hadley-Please!" She wanted him, he was the other half of her soul! She caught up to him, trying to block his way, pain on her face. "Please don't leave me...Please..." Her strength had left her, couldn't he see that being alone was her biggest fear? She tried to step in his path, touching his chest softly. "Hadley--I love you...Please." Her eyes looked upon him with surprise. "You're all I have..." She breathed, trying to push herself into his arms.

All she could do was plead, beg him to change his mind. "No, please! Hadley!"

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 02:52 PM

[html]

OOC work on persuasion

The painful cries that echoed behind him wrenched at his heart. He was doing this for her. He wanted to explain it, to get down on his knees and beg for her to understand. Hadley couldn't do that though. He had broken her, and couldn't handle doing it again. He managed to keep from shaking, knowing that as soon as he was away from her he would break down and cry. The sound stopped, and Hadley thought she had given up, only to hear footsteps.

She spun around before him, somehow remaining elegant. There was so much pain in her face, pain he was causing, could probably never stop causing to her. She pushed herself into him, and he stood still, refusing to wrap his arms around her. Tears trickled down his face, barely noticeable against his dark fur. He couldn't take her back. He'd just hurt her again. F-find someone else... His words had grown more shaky. Hopefully she would believe it was his usual struggle to speak.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 03:23 PM

/stubborn Sel is stubborn DX, I can't ICly persuade very well...

There was no winning, losing an endless battle to get him to listen, to stay. Small hands grasped one of his own, eyes growing dull as she was losing. Perhaps that was a separated part of her mind, something else sparked, driving the young woman to try. To actually try for what she believed in. Her hands (as small a they were) grabbed and intertwined themselves into his own fingers, shaking her head as he told her to go find someone else. The phrase reminded her of being a child again, the annoying girl trying so hard only to be pushed away. That didn't matter though. She managed to look him in the eyes, "D-Don't do this Hadley...There never will be anyone else...Just you! Only you!" Clearing her brain and fighting to not spill tears all over, she continued "You're perfect for me Hadley...You're the only one I'll truly love...Please you're everything I ever wanted..." Collecting her thoughts, Sel tried ever so desperately to convert him, change his mind. Her hands gripped his a little more forcibly, he just had to hear her out!

Her tail drooped between skinny legs, ears pressed flat to her head. "I won't choose anyone else. It's just you. If you don't want me--I'll wait until you do. Even if I end up dead before then." This surprising wave of stubbornness, confused her. But Hadley just had to listen! The incident with Isa and Hadley had clear been forgotten. What mattered now was keeping the man she loved, preserving her happiness by having him. "Ever since I met you...I loved you Hadley. And that has never changed. There is never going to be someone better, never. You're perfect for me...Don't leave." Managing a pained smile, Selene looked away for a moment. "Please Hadley...I beg of you--This won't be any good for both of us...I love you." She saw the small discreet tears, and instantly a delicate hand brushed them away with a feather's touch. He was the one for her! They had come this far, and they couldn't just topple down everything! In a small whisper, she pulled herself into his body, looking up with watery red eyes. "Don't...Don't go."

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 03:44 PM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

His hand was grabbed, clenched as a lifeline. Hadley wanted to pull away, shake himself free, escape from the sight of the pain he was causing. He couldn't bring himself to do it though, unable to push her away, to untangle his hand. Her red eyes met his, brown eyes glazing over as he worked on slipping into that empty space in his mind, the place he could hide from everything, his retreat that was created while serving Amy. Again and again she said there would be no one else, but he knew that wasn't true. There were plenty out there better than him.

His eyes widened slightly as she announced that she would wait until he chose her. He didn't think that was possible. He had been trying to improve, but it hadn't worked. Would he ever be ready for her? Take her again? No, he would just hurt her over and over again. She needed someone who wouldn't do that. As she resorted to begging Hadley shook slightly, holding on. He wouldn't stop. All he had to do to keep from going back on his word was not speak, something he was very good at. He startled as tears he thought no one would notice was brushed away lightly, perfectly. He shook his head stubbornly. He couldn't give in. Not if it meant hurting her.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 04:17 PM

[html]

She trembled slightly beside him, watching him refuse her. He seemed to want to get away from her, leave her. But why? She had just confessed to so much, so many things she needed him for. Yet it still wasn't enough to change his mind. There was so much to say, so much to tell him. So much to befuddle his refusal, she needed him! He was leaving her. And there seemed to be no other way. That choice didn't measure up to what she wanted to happen though, Sel had always dreamed of being Hadley's. Unfortunately, those dreams became nothing more than that,simple wishes that were just too unreachable.

She shook quietly, listening to the horrendous drone of self-aimed sneers, the voices of her self-hate. "Hadley...Why are you doing this? I want you! I love you...And right after you admit that you love me, you push me away!" In both perspectives, it could be the most joyous day of the world for her. Having him tell her he loved and cared about her. Yet, one of the most disagreeable, he didn't want her to stay. The small coydog had to persuade him, her life was in fragments, tiny shards of once-brightly colored glass. If only he would pick up the pieces and reassemble what was left of her soul, he was the only one. "We could be so happy...Hadley--Why are you doing this?" Her hands reached to hold around his neck. What a nightmare this was...She clung to him, silently begging for the man to listen to her, not abandon her so. "Don't abandon me Hadley...Please--I need you in my life..."

Hadley · 03-18-2012, 05:29 PM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

He couldn't deny her the answer to the question that she cried out, trembling beside him. It was so hard, what he was doing. He just wanted her to be happy. Hadley didn't think he could do that. Someone else would surely be better suited to the job. What he was doing didn't seem to make sense, telling her that he cared, loved her, then pushing her away. That was him though. He didn't want to tell her that he hated her, lie to make her leave. That would be far too cruel. Not that what he was doing wasn't already painful enough.

Selene hung around his neck, and Hadley made the mistake of looking into her beautiful glistening ruby eyes. He broke down then, tears flowing endlessly from his eyes. Hurt you...afraid it'll happen again...I don't r-remember what happened... She couldn't possibly want someone so flawed that he could give no guarantees that it wouldn't happen again, not even able to recall why. He reached his arms around him, crying like a child, afraid of what he'd done, of breaking the tiny female in his arms.

Selene Vansenza · 03-18-2012, 08:59 PM

[html]

maybe some powerplay here? Tell me if you want it gone

She didn't want anyone else. Or so called "better," if there was anyone on the planet who was better, the position could only be held by Hadley. Selene feared hurting him, her own cries for his staying pushing him back. His melted chocolate eyes met her own exotic orbs, and she watched as he began to cry, break down and sob. He said he didn't want to hurt her anymore, that it would likely happen again. How could he not remember? Shaking her head softly, the gashed arms of the hybrid just press her body closer, Her heart gave a palpable tense, feeling the same as she did the day she had found him torn up and wounded, resisting the urge to try to make things better. With no avail, she brought his head into her body, holding him close to her chest and chin, a hand gently stroking his hair. His tears had shown her all the pain everyone had went through, all the joylessness and unrest. He had been hurt, she had been hurt.

She didn't care that she was holding him so close, cradling his larger body almost affectionately to her own. "Hadley...I'm sorry--I just thought--You didn't want me anymore..." Her tears had ceased for a while, who knew; they could just be all gone. A finger brushed the tears on his face away, he hadn't said he wanted them to be together again. Yet he didn't seem to be so reluctant about her arms so secure around his body. "H-Hadley? Things will be better...I promise...Don't leave me..." How she wanted to kiss his face, lap away those tears...Instead, she hesitantly settled into him, leading him to a base of a large tree to lean and rest against. "I'm sorry for how I was--I felt threatened..." Selene wasn't quite sure if he still wanted to leave her, who knew? Quietly, whispering with the naïveté of a child, Selene touched the scars on his chest gently. "Are you still leaving me?" Gods no, deep inside, the girl hoped he wouldn't. That he would refrain from taking off when she was most vulnerable. Still she could see his tears, they broke her down as well. They were both vulnerable, so broken within that the world could simply take them down. "I don't want you to leave..." She whispered simply, taking her head in her hands for a moment. The headache from earlier still pounded on, hurt like a boulder had toppled over her mind and set it aflame. He could leave. He probably still might. Or she would have to leave. The thought of readying her possessions for her way out of Casa made her whine softly in sorrow, there would be no angel to hold her at night, no wonderful man to kiss and embrace. There would be nothing but emptiness, and surely she had honored the promise of never finding anyone else.

Closing her eyes, she expected Hadley to get up and walk away. Leave and abandon her by this tree. Looking up, she realized it was the same tree she had fallen from, there was still her bloodstains upon some of the branches, where bleeding arms had grasped firm limbs in hopes of escaping the intolerable pain of Isa's words. She trembled softly, both from cold and fear. If Hadley chose not to leave her, surely Isa would want to be at her throat constantly. Better that than Hadley's throat, but all the same, both ways she could lose her beloved. Memories from before the fire seemed to come back, her mother...Oh her mother...Finally she could decipher her mother's face! The indistinguishable coyote face, the elegant way she carried herself. Funny that she had never rethought this, but her mother was beautiful. Nights before Jonito's death, he had told her of her mother's sublime beauty and charm, her intellect and cunning...Nothing of these traits seemed to be in Selene though. One word popped into her mind, a word her mother always used to say when she was a pup. A Greek word, meaning "make it so" So then she whispered it, adding onto her last words, her broken plea to Hadley. "Genestho..." Sel wished he wouldn't leave, so he had to make it so...A hand gently reached to dry the last of his tears, looking away as if still unwanted by the mottled man. He was going to leave...Wasn't he?

Hadley · 03-19-2012, 11:00 AM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

Selene pulled his head into her chest, stroking him comfortingly. The fear and pain still wracked through him, as well as the guilt for having caused such pain to her. Hadley found himself sitting down, cradled and protected by the smaller female. This wasn't right. He was supposed to protect her. How had this situation reversed? His tears were brushed away, and Hadley forced himself to still, his tears slowing down before stopping.

He was guided over to a tree, the two canines nested together. Hadley held her close, still fearful and hurting, unsure of himself. Apologies reached his ears, and he shook his head. There was no need for apology. He was the one who had done the unforgivable. He had slept with another, and didn't even know why it had happened. He felt her hand reach out, gently tracing the scars on his chest. Calmed he looked at her. Could he really leave her? Strong arms wrapped around her body, he simply held her close, letting the tears fade.

Selene Vansenza · 03-19-2012, 10:54 PM

[html]

I made you some art...It will be PMed soon Smile

All Selene wanted to do was hold Hadley, reassure him that she was no longer angry about what had happened, scarring arms gently held him to her, fingers knotting into his fur. How she had craved this! Why had she avoided him so? It had driven her absolutely mad! And she had hurt him...There was guilt there, definitely. But there was no way she would just let him go, he was the one she lived for! "Hadley..." Sel purred quietly, merely a murmur in the cold air. "I won't let you down again...Ever...I can't lose you--I'd die...I wouldn't be happy without you..." There was no reason to be upset anymore, that energy had been sapped from her weak body earlier, trying so desperate to have him stay. "Y-You know what I felt when I met you?" Red eyes glanced over to meet his own brown orbs, tail swishing softly on the ground. "I wanted to get you away from Amy...Rescue you...Make it so she wouldn't hurt you any more." But she couldn't...She had nothing at the time to offer the merchant, nothing to help Hadley escape. "I tried to make up plans and everything...But Amy was too cunning, she would find out..." He voice grew softer at the next part, instinctually clinging to his larger form. "I cried all the nights after...Wishing and hoping for you every day that you were alright...That she hadn't killed you..." Tears slowly dripped to the soil beneath her, tearing up and crying softly at the next part. "And now--Since I have been with you, I feel so thankful to have you...To hold you and you hold me...To be able to love you now...Hadley--I'd die without you." Selene held him tight, as if he would simply disappear in her arms if she didn't. "I love you Hadley...I do...M-More than the world. More than the sky or stars, or the fireflies I wish to see someday...If I could choose, it would just be you." How could she ever cope without him? It would not be possible! She didn't think of the world surrounding her, only the man she so wished to be with, and the emptiness (if he chose to walk through) if he left her. She couldn't let that happen. It would be like living without your arms, without the eyes to see. Such a vital part of her life, she'd have no soul! Things wouldn't be right. They were supposed to be perfect together! "Do you want to go back to the room? Or go to the springs?" Sel asked quietly, his arms still held around her, yet it seemed a little shaky on the fact if he was leaving or not. Small limbs and body let themselves settle into him, closing red eyes tiredly and sleepily. The last few days had been so hard to deal with, she found herself studying her lover, the soft palette of colors of cream and brown, his muscular form and floppy ear. The chocolate eyes that seemed to make her melt adoringly on sight. What would she do if this was all gone? She would never be staring into another pair of eyes other than his. Without him, Selene would be nothing at all...A mere shadow of what she used to be, turning to a dagger for comfort. Her cuts constantly itched, it took lots of willpower to keep from breaking them open with her nails. At that moment, Selene had a bit of an understanding. For the amount she wanted him, his love and everything else: she constantly pushed him back. She had been holding back on most things, shoving even the slightest desires for him whenever they came up. "I can't lose you Hadley...I can't..." That night on the mountains, she had pushed him away. It wasn't him not touching her, it was her refusing! Even when she wanted him! "I'm sorry for everything I do...Up on the mountains--I pushed you away--I wanted you...And I pushed you away..." Sel tried to explain, that was probably the reason he had gone to someone else, it was impossible to please him. Selene pushed her head into his broad chest, quietly whimpering. "I will never push you away again--I shouldn't do that to you, especially when I love you..." Reddish eyes peered up, her hands clutching one of his own. "I forgive you...Forgive me?" A tongue brushed itself over his chest, affectionately and apologetically as she held him. "I've never loved anyone but you before...Either all the guys in Italy were ugly or jerks, or maybe I just wasn't interested. Same with here, you're the only one." She mumbled idly, a hand reassuringly patting his back. She could forgive him, but not Isa. Hadley didn't remember it, maybe something had happened to not have him remember. Like how the smoke from the fire in Italy had caused her amnesia, until now she couldn't remember her mother's face. Ismeme had been outright nasty to her, taunting and challenging her to having Hadley. She shivered slightly, the springs would be a good place to go. Or the room, there was that bottle of wine from Amy that sounded pretty good. She needed to numb herself. Forget everything bad that had happened. Only remember holding Hadley in her arms. "There's wine in the room...Or warmth at the pools...Or we can take the wine there--We both need it." A small smile graced her small features, allowing some humor to slip through. "It's cold."She was much too trusting. Much too naive. But Hadley--She had to keep him around. Just had to.

Hadley · 03-20-2012, 01:10 AM

[html]

OOC here. /+000

Words just poured out, filling the air. It was as if Selene had been holding everything inside, and finally was able to speak. He wished he was the same way, even the simplest sentences holding a challenge for him. He flinched as she mentioned Amy by name, fearful that she would come now. He nervously touched the worn blue ribbon on his wrist. Looking down he saw blood on it. Would it work if the blue faded from sight? The words she spoke were heavy, striking like stones as Amy's strength was yet again put to him. At least he knew that Amy wouldn't kill him. She seemed to find him useful. But what if she'd found a replacement for him? His body shook slightly.

Told that Selene loved him more than the world, the stars, even the fireflies, Hadley nuzzled her softly. She was sweet. The question posed forced Hadley to think ahead. Did he want to return to the room? No, it seemed too enclosing. The springs as well, full of memories that he didn't want right now. Selene admitted to pushing him away when she'd wanted him, and Hadley understood. She didn't know how to be with him, how to love him and show that, simply speaking words. Hearing that he was her first love had him blushing. Maybe it was just a childish crush, it couldn't be true falling in love at first sight, first love being her one true love. It seemed too perfect in this harsh world, even as real and painful as this was. At the offer of alcohol Hadley nodded. He could use that. R-roof. Where meet. The place where he first found Selene in the pack.

Selene Vansenza · 03-20-2012, 09:30 PM

[html]

Lalalala...I powerplayed them onto the roof...Tell me if you want it gone Smile

The skinny girl would not leave his touch, her body refusing to leave his side. Her words were deep as the ocean, confessing everything to the one that deserved to hear it. How else could she explain that she wanted-Yes she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him? His gentle nuzzling became comforting now. It didn't seem like he was ready to leave her. In turn, she reached up as far as she could, stretching her chin to give a small kiss at the hollow of his neck. She could love him, how could she not? He was too perfect. Too wonderful to push away. She was an idiot for doing that before. Why did she? The past had made her tentative towards all that stuff, but this was the present and future! Hadley was too wonderful to turn away from, he didn't deserve that.

Delicate scarred arms wrapped themselves around his own. They were both scar-ridden beings now. Two of the same kind, perfect. She regretted chucking her beautiful jagged dagger into the bushes. But she would only hurt herself with it. Her sword was misplaced, running from Isa, it had fallen from her belt. Hitting her head, for some reason the tiny coydog couldn't remember the location. Eyes looked up, to Hadley's face. They had both cried so many tears today. They had felt so much pain. What made her forgive his actions so easily was that Hadley seemed to regret what had happened. She couldn't avoid him any longer.

He gave a suggestion to a location to stay at, the roof. Automatically, Selene smiled. That was where they had first met in Casa! That-That was so sweet. A blood-matted tail flopped on the ground beside her, how she wished she could be pretty for him. The roof was a perfect place. But later, she would have to bathe in the springs. Wash the scent of pain and struggling from her body. "W-Wait on the roof for me...I'll go-Get the wine." They walked towards the Courthouse, Selene silent but content with the day. He wasn't going to leave her was he? Hopefully not today. Not ever. There was times when she wanted to be more for him. A better lover when he needed her, that she could not just express her adoration in words, but in actions also. That she had been born more beautiful, that she wasn't as skinny and with an adolescent's body forever. Life just didn't go her way with those things.

As they neared the courthouse, Selene pulled away from the tall man's body. She started towards the entrance, looking back every so often to see if he would abandon her there. It worried her, that he could simply leave. He had free will, and seeing that he would just abandon her there would ruin her whole way of surviving. She ran quickly into the courthouse, finding their room and throwing open the door as quickly as she could. She breathed in his sweet and addicting scent, closing her eyes as if the world's pleasures and wonders were all brought upon the small girl. There was no time for dallying, Sel set to work as quickly as she could. Dark red eyes looked around for the bottle of wine, finding it still in the same place she had left it. Once a threat, now a therapy. She could almost thank Amy. But that wasn't really the cause. A black gloved hand scooped it up, holding it firmly in a small palm. That was it. No. It wasn't. Scooping up the blankets and pillows on the bed, Sel found her way out the window, throwing the bedding above her onto the firm shingles above her head. Thin but wiry arms supported her as she climbed onto the high place. Immediately, the small hybrid got dizzy. Heights were never a fear, but now they sure were! She grabbed her head to stop the hazy dizziness, moaning quietly in the agony of it all. When the misery past, Sel grasped the bedding and the bottle wrapped preciously into the pillow, and set a nice soft bed for the two of them. Sitting on the roof's hard surface for a while must have been a felony. Plus, it was chilly. A blanket would be perfect to climb into. The view was nice. She saw Hadley climbing up and gave a small smile, popping the top off the wine and passing it to him. "I-Uh...Was cold--The blankets would be nice huh? Comfy." Sel looked down into the fluffy warm nest, climbing comfortably into the furs to be warm. She propped herself up on an elbow, waiting for her turn at the bottle. "It's so special to have you..."

Hadley · 03-21-2012, 02:05 AM

[html]

OOC sorry replies so short

He nodded at Selene's words, and silently they moved to the fort. His mind churned with everything that had happened. Really, the hybrid didn't understand most of it. Just that there was a lot of pain. Going off on his own would be actually nice, spending time by himself. He hadn't had a lot of that recently, too worried and involved in those around him. He would have to tell Selene, of course, so that she didn't worry, but a trip away from everything would do him good.

At the building Hadley carefully pulled himself up. He climbed over to where Selene had been sitting the day she moved into his room and settled down to wait. It didn't take long for the smaller hybrid to join him, clutching a couple blankets and a bottle of wine. Selene didn't seem very comfortable on the roof, Hadley's ears flattening with concern. It seemed to pass, and the bottle was passed over to him. Hadley took a long drink before giving it back to her. He smiled gently at her words. Yes. Hearing that he was special to her had the hybrid blushing. Despite everything said he was still very shy about stuff like that.

Login




Remember me Lost Password?