it's cut me down

Selene Vansenza · 03-24-2012, 06:39 PM

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Ismeme

This day just couldn't be helped, the foul mood that had overcame the dusky hybrid that morning just couldn't be satiated, numbed or dulled. There was no reason, no reason in the world that Selene would let herself be pushed out of her home, just because of some jealous woman who wanted to be with her Hadley. Couldn't she understand boundaries? That the small hybrid's bond with Hadley had been founded a while ago? Why threaten that? Why hurt in such vivid pain because of one stinking person?

There was ideas to confront the grey wolf, to tell her that whatever the fuck she was doing was wrong. That this whole series of pain was meaningless, just for one man. Hadley was all she had, and he had left to travel. Selene could still feel his tantalizing kisses down her neck before he went, how he told her that he would come back to her. And now she held onto those words. That he would come back to her. Not Ismeme. Still, the worry didn't falter, didn't leave the heart of the indifferent coydog.

Feet padded softly down the halls of the Courthouse, quiet and almost ghostly from the rest of the world. She had to leave the indoors for a while. The large ears atop her head remained flat, this really was no place for her. Not right now at least. She reached the grounds outside, and spotted her creamy horse wandering not too far from the fort. Cooing soft words in Italian, Selene climbed onto the back of her stallion and galloped off towards the trees. She was deep in the mysterious forest, the canopy of trees overhead giving a darkening shade over the coyote femme's body. She ceased and dismissed the thought of dismounting Uka, it was safer this way. One hand wound in the mane of her steed, the other placed exasperatingly on her scalp. This was not feeling much like home. It just wasn't. Not with the threats, not without the knowledge that Hadley cared. So there Selene sat, her horse grazing gently on the fresh grass from the coming spring. There was

Ismeme · 03-24-2012, 10:15 PM

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OOC here!

Isa felt horrible about her fight with Selene, even if she couldn’t remember it. She wanted to speak to her, explain what had happened and apologize to the brown femme she had once considered a friend. She knew that Selene more than likely hated her and wanted nothing more than to kill Isa but she desperately wanted to set things right. She did have sex with Hadley and it seemed Selene was either his mate or his lover. Isa had never intended to break up a couple, she had no idea how it even happened.

Determined to set things right, Isa went searching for Selene. She was expecting to get chewed out or even attacked and had no problem with it. She knew she deserved anything Selene would do to her. It didn’t take long for Isa to pick up her scent and she quickly followed it, heading into the trees. She slowed down when the scent became stronger. The shade from the trees cast a shadow over Isa’s pelt, which appeared to be dull ever since she sank into a depression. She crept forward slowly, but made noise as she walked so she wouldn’t frighten either Selene or the cream horse. Normally she appeared to be strong and beautiful with her shiny silver coat and slender figure but with her coat seeming to be a dull grey and her still being pretty thin, she appeared to be more sickly rather than beautiful. Isa looked up at Selene and spoke quietly to her, nervous. ”Um..Selene? She had no idea where to start but decided to let Selene get out any anger she had towards her out before she would try to explain herself.

Selene Vansenza · 03-25-2012, 12:23 AM

Atop her regal steed, the woman was not meant to fit there. Like an ugly stain upon fine ivory linen, like a jagged piece of puzzle that was from the wrong box. Anyone could get the analogies. She was immensely a horrid mess. Her arms and legs had scarred, she had done nothing but added horror and an air of ugly to her demeanor. Small hands gripped her horse's mane like a lifeline, this was her only way of comfort, an animal that didn't understand her emotions that drove her to such trembling.

A voice stirred her from where she was, idly letting Uka take her to wherever. It was Isa. Immediately, Selene's face contorted into a show of dislike and disgust, mumbling a curt "Now what do you want?" Why was she here? Why was she acting like it didn't happen? It was the worst thing that had occurred! Sel said nothing else, pointedly not meeting the eye of the much taller wolf woman. It had hurt her, plain and simple. Now the world seemed to be on shaky ground, not stable enough for the crashing of some stupid event, one that had her cry for days and cutting her body. "If it's to ask for my permission. No."

OOC: my replies are turning to poop... ;_;

Ismeme · 03-25-2012, 12:42 PM

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OOC Your replies are fine hun ☺

Selene showed obvious disgust when Isa spoke up. It was expected; Isa had been prepared for more anger and a fight though. Isa looked down, unsure what to say to the femme she had hurt. Her arms and legs had noticeable scars, which seemed to have been done by her own hand. Isa hated herself for somehow driving Selene to that. Isa looked up and Selene was making it clear that she would not meet the silver girls eyes. ”I’m not looking for permission for anything. I’m sorry Selene, I had never meant to hurt you. I’m not sure what came over me but I swear, I had no intention to bring any harm to you.”

Isa lowed her head and tucked her tail between her legs, submitting to the brown girl. ”I’m not sure what happened between Hadley and I. There is a large gap in my memory from when I was with Hadley. There is also a gap where I..where I guess I fought with you.” She looked up at Selene, not expecting the brown femme to believe her. ”Is there any way you could tell me what happened? What did I say or do to bring you to hurt yourself?”

Selene Vansenza · 03-25-2012, 06:21 PM

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A fight was not anything that the small woman wanted, but the obvious irritation with the taller she-wolf was like a flickering wildfire. How dare she! Seek her out like this, when most aggravated and upset. The coydog fought her hardest to not spill tears all over the place, being seen as weak was not the way to go. Selene fought to not walk away with her horse, to gallop off and leave Isa in the dust. Then the perpetrator spoke. How could she not know? It was impossible! Most had controls over their actions, and knew why they had happened. Like her cutting up her arms, she knew why she did that. And had a reason to. The sincerity of the light woman hit her though. Hadley had also mentioned not remembering what had happened. "Hadley left." Sel mumbled slowly, already she missed his warm body.

Cooling herself, the hybrid stepped down from her milky steed, but kept close to his body. "Yes the fight...Whatever you were doing, you threatened me...And then I threatened you..." Shaking her head, Selene kept herself distracted, throwing her mind to other things to keep from crying or losing her temper. "But I ran off...Because I knew that if Hadley had a choice, you're the stronger counterpart. Not me." A growl laced her words, again her worth was nothing but rotting disgusting trash. And if Hadley were to come back, would he go back to Selene? Or Isa? Or someone else in the pack? "So he's gone for a while. And until he's back, I'm not even sure if he wants to be with me."

000

OOC goes here.

Ismeme · 03-25-2012, 08:07 PM

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OOC Sorry it’s so late

Isa could see Selene was struggling not to let tears fall and wanted to reach out and comfort her but knew she would probably not be allowed anywhere near Selene. She looked down when she mentioned Hadley leaving. ”I know. He brought me back here right before he left.” She didn’t want to mention the affection that both her and Hadley had shown each other. She wasn’t even sure what it meant. Isa was completely confused about her feelings Hadley, not sure if she cared about him as a friend or a possible lover.

She had threatened Selene? ”I apologize for how I acted towards you Selene, if I was aware of what was going on I would have never done whatever it was I did.” She was being sincere and hoped that Selene would see that. Isa shook her head when Selene said Isa was the better choice. ”I barely know him. I have seen him twice since I’ve been here. There is no way he would choose me. Besides, he loves you Selene. You are the one he will choose, strength has nothing to do with it.”

”Of course he wants to be with you Selene. You’re beautiful.” Isa couldn’t help it any longer, she stepped forward and held the brown coydog in an embrace. ”I truly am sorry Selene. I know you probably still hate me but I’ll be here for you if you ever need anything. Anything at all.”

Selene Vansenza · 03-27-2012, 06:51 PM

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Everything just gave the small hybrid the impulse to scream and drive her feelings into the wolf's head, show her why this was all wrong. Her growing uncertainty of the fact that Hadley probably wasn't going to be with her strengthened, in every way Isa was better. And she, Selene the meek: was nothing but dirt and weakness. Small hands clawed into her own palms, just fighting to run away. Get away from such reminders of her failure and weakness. Ismeme apologized, all she could do was nod her head. Words couldn't explain the tears that dribbled down her face at that moment. "Strength has everything to do with it. What could he have with me? A weak coward?! He won't want me. He'll come back and see me...I will be nothing...And you, he will want you."

Isa said she was beautiful, and quickly she shook her head in refusal. "If I was beautiful, he would have never done that...I can see why he wanted you." There was only one time Selene had actually slept with him, and it was under the influence. There had been chances. And Sel could admit that she had killed those chances by expressing her worth, well her non-worth. unexpectedly, the silver woman wrapped her arms around Selene. The hybrid stiffened in the touch, this wasn't right. "But you still want him! That's the thing! I can't win this...I just can't--" That was her undoing, the hybrid pulled sharply away, nails scraping into her arms. "You don't understand...Do you know how it feels...To he used all your life? Worth nothing but trash, a toy to those sick beings? A puppet with no will of your own? When I found Hadley...I felt free. That I can have one corner of the world to myself, to care for and be cared for...I was so happy--Then I find, that he was with someone else...It changes everything...I've got nothing--And when he comes back, he's likely going to choose you..." Tears ran rampant down her small face, stepping backwards towards her horse, her body trembling. "I'd have nothing..." Sniffling, the hybrid dropped to her knees on the ground. "I'll never live up to you...I'll have nothing left..." Selene flashed back to when he had said he would come back, but hadn't said to her. If not, it was easy to leave Casa. Live on her own for a while. Who would want her? Likely no one. Sel felt overly pitiful, wanting to believe Ismeme, but It was so difficult! "I don't want to give up...But trying, and winning has become like grabbing the stars...Impossible."

434 +3
's all good bro! Talkative Sel is talkative

Ismeme · 03-27-2012, 11:27 PM

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OOC here!

Selene began to dig her claws into her palms and Isa reached out, wanting to help but unsure what to do. Isa stood there and listened to her little rant before finally speaking up. ”You are not a coward Selene and you aren’t weak either. What the hell makes you so sure he wants me, or that I even want him for that matter? I barely know him Selene.” Selene continued on again. ”Surely he told you that he doesn’t even remember it. Neither of us do. Clearly we were really there mentally and probably emotionally too, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.”

Selene stiffened when Isa wrapped her arms around her in an attempt to comfort her. She pulled away sharply as she continued to try to prove Hadley would want Isa instead of her. She mentioned being used her whole life and Isa’s ears pricked up as Selene described exactly how Isa had felt every day until she killed her father. Finally, Isa became fed up with how Selene was acting. ”Selene just shut up!” She surprised herself with how harsh she had sounded. ”I do understand Selene. I know what it’s like to be used, to be a puppet, to be nothing.” Isa spat out the last word, her anger for her father showing in her words. ”I was his to control and abuse until the day I sunk my teeth into his neck. And to this day he still fucking controls me! I can’t escape him even though he’s dead!” Isa finally broke down into tears, the memory of the time she had with Hadley coming back as she remembered her father’s ghost showing up.

Isa looked Selene in the eyes as she spoke. ”Selene, you are a beautiful, strong girl. All you need is to be able to see yourself the way others see you. You don’t know if something is impossible until you actually try. And be thankful you were able to escape from your demon.” As she finished her own rant, Isa turned her back to the woman and sank to the ground in tears.

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