I Feel Like A Monster
#1
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Ready, set, drama! Lol.



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For all the days that Cerberus ruminated over the afternoon of the bear attack and chided himself for failing to save Blind, today was the worst. The ill feelings didn't register as pain in the coywolf's mind this afternoon, however. Instead, they morphed into an ugly monster of anger and self-loathing. Ceri's posture remained hunched and his expression spiteful all the day long, as if he weren't even himself. His lip curled up in an almost permanent snarl, and what was left of his ears laid flat against his scarred skull – he clearly didn't want to be bothered today.


And yet, perhaps a little positive company would have done him good? After being wordlessly demoted to 'just-a-buddy' status in Ciara's eyes and spending enough time on his own to stew over it, loneliness was doing nothing for him but worsening his anger. What did she not see in him? What was she so convinced he couldn't offer her that she'd unquestionably attached herself to the side of another while he was gone? Didn't she trust him? Didn't she care? Cerberus could feel something tweaking inside himself that he knew would prove to be rather destructive, and his inability to deal with loss in a proper way was the source of it.


Eventually the coywolf decided it'd be beneficial for him to release his pent up energy by going for a walk. Nudging himself onto slightly shaking limbs, he gave his fur a rousing shake before trotting down the hill toward New Dawn borders. He wouldn't pass them, for he wasn't entirely sure what the restrictions were for an Omega as far as matters of where he was allowed to go were concerned. But he would at least wander far enough that he could smell the salty waters off in the distance, the waters where he and Ciara had played the night they met. In all its demented glory, this was Ceri's way of clearing his mind: returning to the places that harbored the memories that served as a foundation for his distress so he could replay them in his mind, and perhaps think on what he would have done differently. Step after step brought him nearer to the place where he'd called for an alpha many days ago, and eventually the scent of saltwater danced around his nostrils. Carefully he settled himself onto the ground beneath a towering pine tree, lying on his belly, and carefully he dug his claws into the soft earth while pining away over everything (and everyone) that he'd lost.



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#2
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I think that this thread requires the sad table lol. So nice to have you back <3


The ebony Beta had risen early in the morning, something that was more than a little habitual for her now, she was usually one of the last to bed in the evenings, waiting until long after the sun had set; and then she was usually the first to rise, often beating the dawn, awakening long before the sun had raised itself from its lazy bed in the sky. She had been a little worried recently, Ciara had been injured, she had dragged herself into the den not long ago, looking for the sable female's alabaster mate, naturally that made sense, Deuce was the pack's healer after all, but of course that did not make it any better; the young girl had broken ribs and had been a bloody mess when she had arrived in the den, Soran had already started to see the young female as something of a daughter, to see her injured was heart breaking. It was also worrying for the coal pelted female, there had been a cougar far, far too close to their lands, that was what had injured Ciara, the idea that there was a danger lurking so close to the lands was playing over and over in the dark female's mind, what if it had gone unnoticed and stalked into the den? What if it had killed someone? Ciara had been lucky, she had been injured but she would live, this time everything had turned out ok. But that was not to say that it would not happen again, they would need to be more vigilant in the future. Soran gave a heavy sigh as she walked, she was still concerned, what on earth had happened to Blind? She had not seen her daughter for what seemed an age, the dark female knew that she had been busy with her duties, that she had been around the lands, often in a solitary manner but still she had expected to see the dark girl in passing at least. The ebony wolf missed her and hoped more than anything that she was well, perhaps she would go and seek her out later on, yes she would make a final pass of the borders near the sea and then she would go back to the cave and call for the young girl, she would see how she had been and mother her as she often did.

And so the sable female set off, her long legs taking her across the lands quickly, her paws landing on the ground softly with each careful step. She smiled to herself as she walked, despite the worry; a small flower fell from one of the trees and landed gently on her snout, she shook her dark head and gave a small chuckle as she did so; somehow that seemed to be a good omen for her, perhaps everything really would be alright after all, perhaps she would come across Blind on her way through the lands now, they could have a catch up. Perhaps there would be no more cougars trespassing on the lands, she hoped so more than anything. It was as she thought this that the wind seemed to change, bringing the scent of a member of the pack to her nostrils, mingled with the salty tang of the sea air. She smiled to herself, she was getting to know the members of her pack again and it seemed that this was yet another wolf that she needed to meet properly. She quickened her pace slightly and padded towards the scent. She smiled as the scarred, alabaster male came into view, he was laying down, clawing slightly at the earth. Soran slowed her pace and ruffled her fur slightly, her tail beginning to wag as she approached the male. The ebony Beta moved into a dominant stance, her ears perked high on her head and her tail raised as she walked, she was the Beta wolf after all and needed to give the impression that she was indeed dominant to those around her, even if she saw them all as a large family. Anyone that knew Soran well would know that of her anyway, would know that she was their superior but that she never saw anyone as inferior. She smiled as she approached, moving to sit near to the male, but far enough away that his privacy was maintained.
It's a bracing day is it not? Soran asked, her tone warm and pleasant as she looked the scarred male over.

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WC: 752
Table by the fabulous Alli

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#3
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Thank you darling, it’s nice to be back!



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Cerberus had been lost in his thoughts for quite some time it seemed before the voice of another distracted him. It was female by the sound of it, although unfamiliar. The scent of New Dawn teased his nostrils as she approached, easing his nerves, and he eventually turned his head to see a lovely charcoal wolfess pad his way. It amazed Ceri to find that, while he thought he’d met everyone, new members of the pack seemed to pop up out of nowhere time and time again. Looking her over now, he realized that he certainly hadn’t met this she-wolf before, but she seemed to possess all the prowess of a high-ranking wolf, so immediately he flattened his ears and lowered his head.


It is a bracing day indeed, he said, but I love it that way. How are you, dear sister? Cerberus rose to his feet and turned to face the elderly woman, but kept his ears flat and tail tucked all the while. His eyes, too, did not fully meet hers, but instead rested in a calm gaze on her shoulders. Ceri always believed in showing respect to those older than he, so even if he was not an Omega he would have submitted. But, for some reason unknown to him, Cerberus felt as if this woman deserved a great deal of respect regardless of her rank. There was something…familiar about her.


The lightest of breezes tousled Ceri’s fur, and he thought for a moment that he heard the wind whisper his name. He peered up at the sky, almost as if expecting to see the speaker resting among the clouds, and then turned away with the taste of disappointment on his tongue when he saw no one. Warm-toned orbs fell back on ebony shoulders then, and he smiled invitingly at the she-wolf. Come, sit a while, he said. Tell me your story.



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