Cross the oceans in my mind

Augustus · 03-29-2012, 12:32 PM

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OOC Alecrest shore, early afternoon. Auggie could use a friend... WC→ 598

Never had he felt so vulnerable as he did now. It was as if he had been stripped bare of his body, his heart laid out for all to see, scarred and bleeding. He was torn, body and soul, ripped into multiple pieces. The largest fragments of him were exultant with his new-found love. That she had chosen him, was astounding. He still could not hope to understand what it was she saw in him, but was no less grateful. Her love was a blessing from above, an balm for his soul. A smaller part of him was grieving. She’d plunged headfirst into the abyss, but she’d done so with eyes closed. There was more to him than he let on. A deep seated anger, a burning rage that was just boiling beneath the surface, crying for release. He was a monster, while weaving the illusion that he was safe. It was true that he had done much and more for his pack, already. He’d protected them from murderous predators, stepped up in their defense when outsiders threatened their borders. His actions could have been seen as heroic, but he was no hero. It was his duty, nothing more, nothing less. New Dawn was still in its infancy, and he had simply not been given the opportunity to show them the beast he truly was. It had almost surfaced when Terra crossed their borders, but the Alpha had not seen his anger in its fullest, and the rest had assumed that it was only his interpretation of his duties. But it was something far more selfish. Augustus would happily tear apart anyone who chose to betray him, no matter how slight the offense.

It was unfair to keep these feelings to himself. Ciara needed to know, but he was having trouble steeling himself for that conversation. She was bound to him now, but he was beginning to wonder how deeply she held that to be true. What if he told her something she did not like? Would she turn her back, cross a bridge that had already burned down? He sincerely hoped not. It would mean more to him than the world to have a candle in this darkness. He was not evil, but he had many flaws that she needed to be aware of. He wanted her to be prepared for all possibilities. But how did he tell her?

He was pacing on the rocky shore, kicking pebbles here and there as these restless thoughts plagued his mind. He found comfort in the salty sea smell of the alecrest shore. It reminded him of Ciara, as if she were with him, even as relieved as he was that she wasn’t. His yellow eyes, flecked with green, paused to gaze out at the turbulent sea. It was an ever-changing mass, and the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks paralleled to his racing thoughts. A fitting setting for him to stage this internal conflict. He was rarely seen at the beach, save for his patrols, which seemed to grow ever numerous as the days passed. He had been raised in the closed tundras bordering the continent of Antarctica, and the ocean was somewhat of a curiosity to him, as well as an object of unease. He had feared it once, but Ciara seemed to love it, and that opened his eyes to its wonder. An uneasy setting for uneasy thoughts, perhaps that’s why he’d felt drawn to it now. His face was firmly set in frown, brows furrowed as he struggled with truths that threatened to surface.

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