i am less a man, more a wolf

Shandom Qi'Vaex · 04-07-2012, 12:38 PM

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Stormie! <3/ +502

The alabaster creature lurked on the fringes of the den area, caught in between what he wanted to be and the reality of where he was living.

New Dawn was growing rapidly, and Shandom saw the benefits for that. It was populated with more males than females, which would cause inevitable tension - the desire to mate would become overwhelming thwn the females were in heat, and there was simply not enough to go around. Years of emotional celibacy had made restraint slightly simpler for the Gamma, but he could not deny that he was an incredibly sexual being and craved the intimacy that existed during the brief act of mating. He could not help but be compelled by his carnal instincts, and so the white male often excused himself from the presence of female. Shandom chose his female friends with care - Titania, perhaps Soran, and of course Naniko - but that was all. They were all off limits in their own ways, and the white Gamma was more comfortable with that notion.

He'd heard through the grapevine of the new mates that populated New Dawn - Shadowfang and Insomnia, both of whom he'd yet to really get to know, and Augustus and Ciara, both good wolves that Shandom was excited to see together. He hadn't predicted such a mateship, as both were rather young and inexperienced, but he thought they would be good for one another. Augustus was gruff, and Ciara occasionally childish: hopefully the union of their souls would bring together something greater and better. It would be strange for the white male when puppies became a reality in New Dawn, as that was his least favorite demographic, but it was the reality of a pack and he would accept it without complaint.

But he could not deny he felt something of an outsider. The Gamma was a passionate believer in traditional hierarchy, and he separated himself from the wolves who appeared to have lost that particular notion. Shandom had his flaws - he'd partaken in drugs and alcohol, though just once - but he was, at the end of the day, a wolf before anything else, and he acted in accordance to that particular trait. There was no other way to live, at least not through his chocolate colored lenses. It was why he helped found New Dawn alongside of Zalen and Titania. He sought a life away from the human vices that, for some reason, were seeping their way into the borders he so loved.

The white male sighed and placed his head upon his paws, staring longingly at the den area. He was hidden rather nicely behind a tree so nobody could see his musings unless they stumbled directly upon the male; however, his scent would not be hard to trace. Hopefully it was obvious that he was not asking to be left alone, but merely deep in thought: if another approached him, Shandom would be more than willing to chat with his brother or sister.

Augustus · 04-17-2012, 02:23 PM

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OOC Sorry for the wait Rosie, dear! <3

Word Count → 711

Despite being recently mated the male was feeling more and more alone. He grew ever more reserved, as he had been before joining the pack. Perhaps it was because of the increasing number of wolves who came to join them? It would have made the young man happy to welcome those who crossed their borders on four legs, had they the true intention of returning to the old ways, but as it would seem not many had that particular desire. Why then, had they come? He pondered this endlessly, watching from the shadows as new brothers and sisters walked more and more about on two legs. They adorned themselves strangely, shaped their manes into absurd styles, and placed objects among their fur. That they would stand above him was enough to rouse his anxiety, but these embellishments did far more. He paced about, restless at the mouth of the den, oblivious to watching eyes. He was an Epsilon, and very few could stand to question him even if they wished to. That fact was comforting to some extent. The man did take pride in his role, as his Alpha’s took pride in watching him fulfill it.

He recalled the instance with the bear. Titania and Zalen placed the burden of its evacuation on he and his mate’s shoulders, and as always he was eager to face the challenge. He and Ciara had faced off a cougar even before that. He had proven himself time and time again as a loyal brother, and upheld his sacred beliefs. He was a far wilder creature than the rest, he could accept that, as they had accepted him, but these newcomers unnerved and, at times, angered him. He did not want to see his pack succumb to all the unnecessary luxuries and indulgences of the tainted Luperci. In months past the black and white male had nearly lost all hope of finding such a place as New Dawn, and now that he had he was loath to see it spoiled. But perhaps he was simply overreacting? He did that, more than he should have. It had occurred to him that his temper was beginning to resurface as an even greater problem than it had been in the past, and this was another cause for concern. If he did not keep himself in check he may very well find himself amidst those he despised. He did not have it in him to be Omega. He would certainly kill himself before being shamed in such a way. Even his father’s pack had had an Omega, and Augustus never envied the wolf. He was a frail and broken creature, groveling, and covered in wounds both new and old. It was the Omega Lionel punished when his young pups misbehaved. That was before they were large or hardy enough to stand the punishment themselves.

And again his past seemed to weigh on his future. His recent lapses in composure had caused him to be of the belief that striving to be something different from his father would be far more challenging than he had hoped, and even now he seemed to be leaning towards some semblance of his father’s disposition. But, was that a bad thing? His father had been a leader, albeit it a harsh one, but the son had no doubt Lionel had reason to be the way he was. The north was an unforgiving place, they had many struggles, but here it was not an acceptable attitude to possess, and he had to adjust.

It was several moments before he ceased to pace and simply sighed. He inhaled deeply, but stopped midway when he caught the scent of a brother he had not expected to be so close. His yellow eyes quickly darted about, but he saw nothing. The scent was a familiar one, however, and the young, scarred male was not startled by it. His brows furrowed a moment and he scanned the surrounding with greater care. He still saw nothing. Puzzled, he decided to call out to him. "Forgive me brother, but I was not aware of you.” His eyes still roved the terrain with uncertainty, and he began to feel a slight twinge of embarrassment at his failure to locate the arctic male.

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Shandom Qi'Vaex · 04-17-2012, 06:10 PM

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No worries! I'm filled with buckets of muse lately, don't worry about responding overly fast (: / +506

He was dozing slightly, lids grown heavy with the burden of his thoughts and the male ached to close them. His maw opened widely in a yawn and his tongue curled in the mid-afternoon sun, briefly tasting the beginnings of spring in the quickly warming air. It was a good day to take a nap, and though he'd normally prefer to curl up in his comfortable little den alcove, the Gamma thought it might be nicer to relax under this tree. It was, after all, very soft - he'd found a small patch of moss that proved just large enough for his head, and if Shandom put it down it would be endlessly comfortable... Yes, perhaps he would do that.

Just as he prepared himself for the idea of a lovely nap, the smell of one of his brothers permeated the air and the Gamma lifted his drooping head to sharply look around. Mismatched eyes fell on the brother Augustus, though it was clear the younger Epsilon would not be able to see Shandom from this vantage point. A small smirk curled around his dark lips as he watched his brother take in the scent of the Gamma, clearly searching for the older wolf. He remained quiet for a moment as he took Augustus in, eyes narrowing briefly in contemplation of the recent events in the young man's life. He was mated to Ciara. How strange and lovely that must be for the pair, though Shandom could not imagine taking that step for himself any time soon. But it was nice to see a couple in love that truly took the time to get to know each other. It seemed that so many wolves were taking the steps sooner than they should, plunging into what should have been a lifelong commitment after only knowing each other for mere days.

But that was love, he supposed. It made you do stupid irrational things and forget yourself entirely. Shandom knew that better than anyone else. Lea held his heart in her dark paws, and to this day he would still do anything for the midnight girl.

Gods above, he loved her.

Shandom shook his head, trying to rid himself of the image of her beautifully crazed face. There is no need for an apology, the Gamma said, standing and stretching himself out before he stepped from behind the tree. His posturing was proud, tail held higher than low and ears perked forward to reflect his position in the pack. It's good to see you, Augustus, Shandom smiled, moving forward to nudge the Epsilon with his nose in a friendly greeting. Congratulations on your mateship to Ciara. I'm sorry I didn't say something earlier - I've been a bit of a recluse lately. The Gamma's grin became rather sheepish, as if he were embarrassed of his outlying ways. And, in a way, he was. Wolves, by nature, were social creatures, and while Shandom was no exception, he could easily isolate himself for several days without any thought to the contrary.

image - Dawn Thieves texture - lots and taken

table by Nat

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Augustus · 04-18-2012, 12:04 PM

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OOC What? What? Auggie trying to be silly? What is this foul magic, okay not that silly, but give the guy some credit xP

Word Count → 510

It was a strange and wonderful feeling to no longer be alone in this world, though he and Ciara had many things to settle between them. Augustus withheld so many things inside him, and he was finding releasing them to be…very difficult, even to her. He did feel something in his heart for his gold-pelted mate, but his heart was a scarred, broken thing. It was something that needed mending, but sadly she had not the power to do so, though she tried. It was he that the change must come from, and he was a selfish creature, and sometimes found he did not want to let go. But change would come, whether he welcomed it or not, for better or worse. Life was like that, time was like that, and there was truth to the saying ‘time heals all wounds.’ It would be time that healed Augustus.

It was a few moments before the elder wolf’s voice reached him. His black rimmed ears turned towards the sound and his tail lowered subtly. Shandom was his elder, and Gamma of the pack, and Augustus would show the respect that he deserved, but it was more than that. He knew the man little, but he could not help but feel the presence of a kindred spirit in the arctic wolf. As if their similar heritages were not enough, Augustus saw something in the way he held himself that somehow drew him to respect the man despite any interference of rank. He dipped his head, and it lingered downwards a moment before his eyes turned to Shandom’s face. He avoided the elder’s eyes, for though the differences in their ranks were but little Augustus he felt it was necessary, and he was happy to do so. He rubbed heads with Shandom and wagged his tail. “And you, Gamma.” He replied.

“Thank you,” He said shortly, nodding briefly. “Though I’m not sure I am worthy of her.” His thoughts passed from his lips openly, and his voice was not so rough as it was when he spoke to most others. It was quiet even, and strangely fluid. “I’ve been very much the same.” He confessed, shrugging off the older wolf’s apology. “How was it you were behind that tree?” He asked lightly, raising a brow. “Not hiding from anyone, are you?” He asked with a shadow of a grin. He shook his head and chuckled once. It was a ridiculous question, and it felt strange to jest with someone else. He wondered why he’d even bothered. He most often rubbed others the wrong way, if they even dared to speak to him that was, and that brought another strange thought to him. “I’m not truly that frightening, am I?” He didn’t wait for Shandom to answer before adding, “most others seem to think I am, but they won’t admit it. I see these things, I am not blind.” He didn’t quite know where this admission came from, except for some small part of him that found itself suddenly curious about the way others perceived him.

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Shandom Qi'Vaex · 04-20-2012, 11:42 AM

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(: / +545

His mismatched eyes, one utterly useless in its explorations, quietly examined the Epsilon before him. Shandom was a man of few words unless directly approached, and in that case he opened up more easily, talking freely as long as the company was right. The Gamma liked Augustus, liked his show of subtle yet still deferential respect. It came with the burden of being older than so many of his comrades, but Shandom couldn't, and wouldn't, question it. Age was something he could not avoid, and though he'd made many mistakes in the life he'd lead so far, he was proud of himself for turning it around. There was something about the Epsilon that made Shandom think he was a kindred spirit of sorts, a brother in arms in the strangely changing world of the Luperci. Perhaps it was because Augustus wasn't Luperci and couldn't shift onto two legs. Shandom wouldn't be expected to behave in a manner that flew against his nature in front of the white-pelted fellow.

A subtle smile curled across his dark lips, and ears flicked back for a moment. You are more than worthy of her, Augustus, Shandom murmured. As long as you treat her with the dignity and respect she deserves, you will be a better mate than most. You two will have many long and happy years together. A spring of envy was evident in his voice for a moment, but the Gamma pressed it back down. So what if he were incapable of maintaining a relationship because hew as so in love with a dark-pelted woman that long ago swore him her life's enemy? Linquilea was beautiful, would be beautiful forever, and she was the perfect creature for him. He loved every move she made, every inflection of her gravely voice, every muscle that coated her too-large body. She was not traditionally beautiful, not like Ciara, but the raven-pelted murderer was more than Shandom could ever hope to be.

I wasn't hiding, no, Shandom sighed, shaking his large alabaster head briefly. He spared a glance to the pack area and resisted rolling his eyes - for some reason, he was discontented today with his family. The Gamma loved them, all of them, in the way that any packwolf loves its companions, but he did not understand them. There were so many who were just so easy in social situations and did not seem to grasp the nuances of hierarchy. It displeased him, and to keep his quick temper from jumping above his rank the Gamma often excused himself. And you're not that frightening - I don't find you frightening, at least. Cougars and bears might think differently, though. He barked a choked laugh, and it was a strange sound. No, I'm simply.. observing. I don't understand some of our packmates, to be honest. They are good wolves, and they care for New Dawn, but I feel myself an outsider again. Perhaps my values are too outdated, or too stringent, but I cannot understand the disregard for hierarchy I occasionally witness. Bitterness crept into his voice for a moment, coating the edges in rough passion that he quickly removed. I do not wish to speak ill of the pack. Forgive me, I do not speak of you, of course.

image - Dawn Thieves texture - lots and taken

table by Nat

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Augustus · 04-25-2012, 04:15 PM

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OOC

Word Count → 720

Though the uncertainty still lingered, Augustus was relieved to hear Shandom’s words. It made him feel better to hear it from another’s lips. His ears were perked intently forward and he listened to the man’s sage advice, offering a short nod of his head. “I- I can do that, I think.” He murmured. His keen ears detected a strange sort of bitterness in the white male as his sentence drew to a close, but he did not pry into it. It vanished just as quickly as it had materialized, and his ear soon twitched as if it were nothing. He was aware that Shandom had a past, but there was seldom a wolf that didn’t, especially here and now. They all had their problems, though Augustus’s were thousands of miles away, but that did not make them ‘not be.’ His father and mother were still living to his knowledge. Indeed, somewhere in the cold hard tundra lived a chaotic wolf pack, led by a sable tyrant, and his indifferent arctic mate, still spewing ignorance and lies, no doubt. He could not boast a fatal attraction as Shandom, it was true, but as long as his parents lived the uneasiness would remain. He wondered a moment what they’d think of Ciara. She’d never shifted in front of him, never felt the inclination to, but that did not change the fact that she was everything his father so loathed. Why, they’d tear her into pieces on sight. The male gave his head a rough shake. No, he didn’t want to think of it.

Augustus’s attempt at humor seemed to be lost on his companion, and his muzzle emitted an echoing sigh. He wasn’t surprised, in truth, and neither was he disappointed. It was only a passing thought, and a weak one at that. He’d have to endeavor to be more pleasant, but as things were it was a terribly hard thing to do. He followed the white male’s eyes as they strayed to the den, putting the pieces together in his head. It seemed he was not the only one disappointed by the change that had slowly begun to transform their home. It was no longer the sort of haven he thought it to be. He bore them no ill will, or at least not personally, with the exception of Cerberus and Shadow of course. There was just something about the disheveled coy wolf that annoyed him, beyond his involvement in Blind’s death of course. He was cocky and often seemed to push his luck. Plus, there was something about he and Ciara’s mateship that seemed to make the man especially bitter. And Shadow…Shadow was just Shadow, the only wolf in the pack that could hope to outsize him. Although the difference of a few pounds seemed only noticeable to Augustus. That in itself, was enough, but the fact that he had a blatant disregard for pack hierarchy and saw fit to traipse about shamelessly on two-legs, it did nothing but anger the black and white male more. His mere existence here in New Dawn was…abrasive to the scarred wolf.

He chuckled at Shandom’s expense, even offered a hint of a grin. “I’d hope so, by now. That cougar had it coming, I hear.” His attention returned to the pack and it’s occupants, and he found himself agreeing entirely. So much so he found himself shaking his head from side to side when Shandom apologized again for his scrutiny. “I couldn’t agree more.” He said, his voice possessing a hint of a growl. “Things have…changed. Or at least the wolves have. I thought it would be different here, but just give it time and the tainted creep in again like ticks.” Oh, he hated ticks. It was the season for them, too. The very thought made him itchy and he leaned down to scratch at his ear with a hind paw. He then gazed at Shandom hesitantly, remembering who’s company he was in. Shandom himself was among those afflicted by the virus. “I don’t mean, you of course. You’re not…not like them. You don’t parade it about. I have no problem with you, brother.” His gaze drifted sheepishly to the ground. “Ciara’s Luperci, too.” He soon added, hoping it would redeem him of any offense he might have caused his elder brother.

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Shandom Qi'Vaex · 05-07-2012, 08:53 AM

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Sorry for the delay, love. Finals are killing Rosie. / +565

The Gamma could sense the tension from Augustus, mingled with the nerves of a new mateship, and he could not help but allow the dark smile on his lips to curve deeper with the knowledge of his many years. The slightly larger male was one of few wolves in the pack he felt he could truly relate to, despite the fact that he was Luperci and Augustus was not. But Shandom Qi'Vaex had not been born with the virus tainting his blood; it was not a way of life for him. Rather, it was exactly how it was described - an illness, an irreversible affliction, that he'd learned he must suffer with in order to live a semi-normal life. He'd found this unique balance in the Dawn lands, he'd thought, but so many of the wolves that entered the pack after its conception were just.. Not what he'd imagined, at least. Too often he saw creatures on two legs; too often he saw these same creatures bearing humanized weapons. It simply didn't make any sense to the Gamma.

But, he supposed, part of the loveliness of New Dawn was an accepting mentality. Certainly, this didn't apply to those not of wolfish descent - something that had upset his friend Terra once - but, regardless of whether or not the animal was infected, he was welcomed into the fold. There were some packs where it would be downright uncomfortable to exist on four legs for any length of time. The Court made no efforts to be outright discriminatory, and Shandom did not believe that the mentality of any of the members was cruel or prejudiced, but the fact remained that he could not adequately live his life without feeling the eyes of others bearing down on his back. No, Shandom was a feral wolf, and wanted to live like one. How strange, though, that he had to apply the term feral to himself. He certainly didn't feel uncultured or wild - simply normal. The Gamma was still the same gentleman he'd been before the virus twisted his bones and muscles into something entirely different.

Shandom huffed slightly at Augustus' words, a sort of agreement that was used without words. I take no offense, Augustus, he sighed, shaking his large alabaster head. I doubt Ciara would, either. I, myself, was only infected for the purpose of saving my own life, and while I appreciate that the virus kept me alive, I prefer to live life on four paws, as I did for my first three or so years. Mismatched gaze shifted slightly, away from Augustus and back to the den again. The wolves who lived in there were alien to him, strange as the members of the Court with the exception of a few. Zalen, Titania, Ciara, Augustus, Soran... For the most part, those were the wolves whose company he most frequently kept. He appreciated their existence. I wish I could do something for them, though. Something that would help them integrate into the kind of culture we envisioned for New Dawn and.... well, develop a healthy respect for hierarchy. And perhaps some volume control. Shandom's last statement was joking, but he winced a bit as he remembered the loud noises his packmembers, respectful or not of hierarchy, could make. Blindness had enhanced his hearing, and it was downright uncomfortable when those around him were too loud.

image - Dawn Thieves texture - lots and taken

table by Nat

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Augustus · 05-18-2012, 02:03 PM

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No problem, take your time - - Sorry if this post is confusing, I noticed halfway through that I was looking at the wrong one. I tried to edit it a bit more so it made sense.

Word Count → 813

Augustus shifted uneasily and trained his gaze elsewhere than on his elder’s face. He didn’t like others staring at his scars, and he would not wish the same on anyone else. It was Ciara alone that he allowed sit on his ravaged side, though for Shandom he might make an exception as well. Shandom’s were worse by far, and Augustus felt blessed to have retained his sight. Had his father aimed but a couple inches higher he may have been much the same. A black-rimmed ear of his twitched as the arctic wolf spoke. “Saving your own life, how?” His interest was piqued, and he hoped that by hearing something of another’s struggles he might gain insight into his own. The conflict with Terra had blown over entirely, but it brought to light several flaws the male was not aware of. It unleashed a rage and resentment that he did not know he had, making him far more reluctant than before to speak his mind. “I will always respect Ciara, whatever she is…I would never have agreed to be with her if she were like the other Luperci out there.” He spoke truthfully. “Or weak…” He added as an aferthought. He thought again of his mate. Female’s were pretty creatures, the wolfess Blind came to mind. She had been gorgeous with sleek fur the color of dark chocolate, and a dazzlingly exotic visage, but beauty was not power, as some argued. The bear had proven that true to disastrous effect. “You are of the north as well, brother?” He was not so sure, and his voice possessed a hint of uncertainty. “I would think you understand that the weak do not survive there, and Luperci are few. These wolves here do not know what it is like to have to fight to survive. Day after day…We do what we must.”

“They have lost their way, and their ignorance will be their undoing.” The words were bitter, but it was an unsettling topic for the male. They blatantly disregarded so many of the values he held sacred. They kept weapons and neglected their own natural ones. Fangs and claws were a part of you, and therefore far more useful than any piece of sharpened metal. “You’re a credit to our race, Shandom, I’m glad some of us still remember where we came from.” The bi-colored brute did not give compliments where they were undeserved, and he rarely did so even when they were. It was a sign of the unquestionable respect he possessed for the elder wolf. Shandom spoke of hierarchy, and Augustus did not even try disguising the slight grin that tugged at the edges of his muzzle. “Oh, they will. I’ve been seeing to it.” He remembered that day and Cerberus as he perched above them, as brazen as you please. He had been swift to correct him.

He spoke without inhibition, feeling more and more comfortable, and more of the mind that Shandom alone would know what it was like. It was also practice for the discussion that he needed to have with Ciara. She suffered day by day, unable to get through to him. It was time she knew what kind of wolf she had tied herself to, and it was time for her to decide whether he was civil or savage. “I’ve not talked to Ciara about this, she doesn’t know where I came from, but you do…You remember what I had to go through to get here, brother. Don’t you?” Shandom had been there that day when Titania sought to get to know the wolves of her pack. He wasn’t looking for Shandom’s pity, but empathy, understanding, something that was so lacking from his life. “You knew Terra, too.” He recounted that day, the way he had behaved, and though he knew Shandom had not been there, he had enough knowledge of Terra to know that she would have expressed her feelings foolishly to anyone who had the ears to hear her. “I bet she spoke to you…She thought I would kill her, didn’t she?” He was almost sure of it. The conversation had taken a grim turn, but he needed this, and Gamma was a position which suggested wisdom, and diplomacy. “I told her not to come here ever again, I warned her, and when I saw her lying there, wounded.” He paused. “I would have killed her, Shandom, and not for mercy’s sake alone. She betrayed me, she brought danger upon us!”

It occurred to him that his voice was rising in tone and anger, and of Shandom's comment on volume, and when next he spoke it was a near whisper. “Was I wrong?” He lowered his head and ears along with his voice. He hoped Shandom could put an end to this internal conflict once and for all, but things were not always so simple.

Shandom Qi'Vaex · 05-18-2012, 02:37 PM

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Congratulations, not only have you revitalized my muse, you made me spit out a post that's longer than one thousand words. I love you. / +1,152

The conscious aversion to his scars was something Shandom had grown accustomed to long ago - he appeared dangerous to some, and an uncomfortable oddity to others. He suspected, however, that neither of these reasons were the ones that afflicted Augustus. The Gamma knew the Epsilon's story, knew how his face was ravaged by his father, and Shandom knew the embarrassment of scars. Some days, when his demons were darker than others, he felt the shame that others assumed he must be naturally acquainted with as he walked through the treacherous valley of life. But, for the most part, he was relatively accepting of his life's station. "After I was given this scar, I - despite my station as Alpha - was driven from my pack and my home, without treatment. I suppose I deserved it - I had killed two very important wolves. The ones who raised me, really," the Qi'Vaex man sighed, his deep voice slightly quieter than it might normally have been. He felt no qualms sharing his bloody past with Augustus. Rather, Shandom felt he might understand better than most. "I was lucky to stumble upon a pair of travelling wolves, who looked as I knew the wolf to be - upon four legs. Rumors of two legged canines had not yet reached my pack, so far removed were we. The first time I saw Tourniquet - the woman - shift..." His chuckled darkly, shaking his head in memory of the alarm and terror he had felt. Shandom had been so proud, in his youth! So certain of his own invincibility! And yet, with one simple motion, Tourniquet and Adonis had proved him entirely wrong. "Well, needless to say I was utterly horrified. But she had been a healer in her past life, and knew methods that would work in a different anatomy... She assured me the process would not kill me, and I would have all the benefits she did. I was weak, you must understand, and dying quickly... I did not have enough courage to pass into the next life, and I allowed her to infect me. Though she could not save my vision, she ultimately saved my life."

Of course, he hadn't meant to talk so much. But it was the natural way of things - the Gamma, once upon a time, had been a natural conversationalist, though the skills were much diminished with age and the sad knowledge of his own unimportance. The knowledge, though, did bless him with some degree of wisdom, and he dipped his head in appreciation and thanks for Augustus' compliment to his nature. Though, what other options did he have? What alternatives did the alabaster brute possess besides moving on with his life to try and lead it as naturally as possible? No, he had done nothing extraordinary. Instead, he'd just decided to live the life he'd always known. In a sense, we have been lucky, just as in a way they have been, Shandom murmured. They have lived in the lap of luxury, and have grown happy and carefree because of it. But we, men of the North, have had no other alternatives but to fight against the very world we live in for survival. It is not an easy existence but... He trailed off for a moment, lost in thought of the life he'd left behind so long ago. But it is a wonderful one, for me at least. I miss the tundra of the north sometimes, if I'll admit. Shandom's voice was wistful and longing for home. But he allowed his lips to curve into a sly grin if only for a moment, shifting briefly back to something Augustus had said earlier. The women there, though, are of the toughness and capability you have been lucky enough to find in Ciara. I won't deny I sometimes wish for a female of my own who is like.... Like us. He found himself momentarily thinking of Naniko, and how lovely she was despite her humanized tendencies. She was as close to ideal as it could be without actually morphing into Linquilea, his beautiful Linquilea, and Shandom glanced away from Augustus for a moment, shamed of his own tender desire for the strong Angela.

He listened, quietly, as Augustus spoke of Terra and tough upbringings. Oh, he understood, and he made quiet noises to let his brother know that he sympathized with what the pale brute had undergone. He did not so easily forget these tales. In so many ways, Augustus reminded Shandom of what he had been in his youth, of how the cruelty and desperation to protect his own gave him the motivation to wake up in the morning. The Epsilon was not a bad wolf, nor was he ill-intentioned or irrationally cruel. He knew how Augustus must have felt, seeing Terra on the ground, and perhaps a bit conflicted about whether or not he should kill her. Shandom would have done the same in Etienne - it had been his responsibility to defend the pack, as Alpha. Likewise, he would have expected his guards to act in a similar manner. But whether or not that was the right thing to do... That was the question at hand.

Shandom sighed heavily, lifting his eyes to meet Augustus'. Killing, Augustus, is a complicated thing, he began, rather softly. You are not so different from the man I used to be. He thought, then, of Terra, and her impish and childlike smile. She was a nuisance, certainly, and could pose danger to New Dawn if her intelligence were only slightly higher. But she was a jester of the highest order and unlikely to ever mature enough to be a serious threat. Shandom liked the girl well enough, but she was not someone he took particularly seriously. Terra is well intentioned, at heart. Having spent a bit of time with her, if I recall, I think you know this. Her lack of understanding for hierarchy is, here he paused, briefly, attempting to find the correct words, unfortunate. For several more moments he was quiet, debating how best to phrase the words that jumbled around in his head. I would not have killed her, Augustus, Shandom eventually murmured. If only because she is a child, and cannot understand. Perhaps, in my younger years and lacking the hindsight I have now, I would have reacted as you did. But killing her would have darkened your heart, Augustus, and it is not so easily lightened again.

She has been adequately warned, though, and the next transgression ought to be her last, the Gamma admitted, remiss as he was to do so. It is, I suppose, the way of things. That, at least, Shandom knew to be true. His heart had softened with years and bloodshed, but he was not an unwise man. Terra had enough warnings, and the tricky girl was not impervious to consequences, mentally addled though she might be.

image - Dawn Thieves texture - lots and taken

table by Nat

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Augustus · 05-29-2012, 01:27 PM

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Yay, always happy to help xD and sorry for the crap reply, I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.

Word Count → 559

Augustus was neither appalled or surprised by Shandom’s story. Although he hadn’t been the one to actually kill his brother, he’d been accused of it, nonetheless. He was also unsurprised to hear that Shandom had been an Alpha once. They had even more in common than they knew. "I was named Kinslayer before all of my pack. My father‘s accusations were unfounded, but…no one would question the word of an Alpha." The young male snorted in disgust. "Typical. I still don’t understand why." He shrugged, "and most likely never will." His eyes strayed again. "You can’t go back after something like that. And if I did they’d kill Ciara on sight." The truth left a bitter taste in his mouth. He loved the tundra, loved the struggle. It was a hard life, but living there taught him what it was to feel alive. He thrived in it. Every lesson he learned only made him stronger.

He listened to the Gamma’s words, nodding empathetically every now and again. He drew in a breath when Shandom mentioned seeing the wolfess shift for the first time. It brought him back to his very first time. Ironically, it was Terra who had shifted before him, and he nearly tore her apart for it, fortunately then, it had just been with his words. "I suppose I would have done the same…" His voice trailed off, as if he didn’t believe in his own words, the old prejudice bubbling to the surface once again. It was not something he often considered. He was a living ancestor, a rarity in the vastly populated Nova Scotia. He could trace his roots back generations, before the virus to the time where man thrived, and even beyond.

He longed for the tundra, the winter snows. He remembered digging into its depths and laying within so the snow fell around him, eventually covering his entire body until he was packed snugly and securely. His body heat would radiate off him as the blistering cold bathed the world in ice above him. It was a sort of paradise. "It was worth it." He murmured. "Life loses its meaning without it." His black dusted tail twitched a moment and the topic turned to his dear sweet Ciara. He allowed himself a bit of a grin. "Why do you think I keep her so close?" His eyes trailed to the den where she was sleeping. "I’d kill for her." When he said it, he knew it was true.

His ears perked up and the bi-colored brute reclined to his haunches. He gazed intently at the Gamma, eager to hear his wisdom. He cocked his head when Shandom admitted to being much like Augustus. He furrowed his brows a bit, but listened just as attentively. His lips twitched into the hint of a snarl, but he controlled himself in front of his brother. Terra annoyed him to no end, and her betrayal, no matter how slight still stung him. "She’s a fool." He said in a low, rumbling voice. He turned his face away, but his ears were still shifted towards the arctic male. "She was dying well enough, had this been…" he lowered his head entirely now and sighed with frustration. It was pointless to argue, and things were different here than in the north, had that not been what they’d been discussing?

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