ooc: Secui form as always
When times were bleak and the sturdy ground beneath ones paws crumbled away to sand, there was a line to grasp; a metaphorical tether to stable ground to pull oneself back upon their feet and find comfort in walking once more.
Before coming to these lands, she found no need for such a line. She had but herself and the wisdom of her beloved father to bring her peace in the most desolate of times. She had wandered the Endless Path alone without regret, without sadness, without loneliness and found herself to be whole when she awoke in the early mornings and returned to sleep so late at night. Dare she confide to the ancestors that she was happy before her paws led her to these strange lands ruled by incentive and ambitions. For she had only herself and none but the path that guided her. And during these trying days, she scraped at the earth hoping to encapsulate that fleeting moment again, to find that genuine bliss that could be found within herself.
But the ground underpaw was always that of the mountain leading her toward the borders of danger. Toward the known and unknown, the treacherous and vile, and still like a moth to the flame she was lured to it with blind eyes and heavy feet. It reminded her of how she walked before but in the recesses of her mind she knew there was an end to this path, a destination marked with tawny scarred fur and a kindred soul that reflected her own. If she could look upon her mirror image within this realm of danger, she might find that bliss she desired to calm her restless spirit and make her truly see clearly again. For all that consumed her eyes now was the desolation of this place and not the wondrous beauty she had experienced along the flora and stone marked borders. Perhaps if she looked upon her mirror image, she would not feel the regret bubbling within her come to surface. Perhaps she would not admit to failure and return down the path she knew towards home.
The air of regality had fallen away rendering the creature that walked with a sullen gait humble and meek within the thinning verdant fields. Her lengthy stride was hindered by the limp of injury. The gash upon her shoulder had never been left alone to heal for as her body constantly moved and was taxed by the labors of duty, it grated and bleed, mended then reopened, spilling droplets of precious blood over again til her very scent was marred copper. It ached terribly, but was a sweet reminder of the ancestors mercy despite the pain it brought her. It reminded her that they still watched over her and in the midst of her personal plight were kind enough to grant her favor; the sight of her friend… the soft touch of his kindness. A reminder that despite his leaving, she had not truly been abandoned.
Along the slope of the mountain she came to rest at last, drawing her haggard form to the ground as she lifted her head and called for her reflection.
(419) Lupus form as always. <3 She's decked out with the stuff in her avvie.
Vesper is by me!
Life had taken a turn for the worst, but Vesper had always been adaptable. Certainly, it might have been easier to fight for her life alone, to scuffle and sneak away to lick her wounds alone, but loyalty had found its way into the former loner’s heart. She was inexplicably tied to the Waste she walked through, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to depart even if she’d wanted to. And so she worked as hard as ever, making her rounds until her paw pads were cracked and bloody, her new scars aching as she hunted, her mind catching only snatches of sleep. Battles had always been her forte, but war was a more taxing thing.
The coywolf loped tirelessly along the northern border now, staring at the foothills of the mountain. It had been a moon or more since she’d crossed it to visit her friends, but circumstances prevented her from running out there now. One of the wolves would catch her, and while she had once dreamed that her Exultare friend could come down to aid them, Ichika no Ho-en was realistically too peaceful to participate in the fire clan’s wars.
She sighed, and stiffened at a sound coming from her left. Or she thought it was a sound; the ripped-off ear couldn’t catch noises like it used to. She swiveled her head and good ear, almost shaking, but yet another cry, long and wolfish, rose into the sky like her raven.
A shiver of fear or rage would have shivered through any other Infernian’s spine, but Vesper only brightened anxiously at the call as she recognized her friend’s magnificent voice. Glancing along the border once more, making one last sweep, she leaped toward the slopes of the Halcyon range. The beads of her rosary shifted around her neck as she made for the familiar territory, her fur spiked nervously as she watched for signs of an ambush. She knew her friend was the good kind of wolf, but that didn’t mean the enemies couldn’t take advantage.
She found the great golden shape at last, panting from the effort of her sprint and sneaking closer with tentative steps. X’yrin, she breathed, her blue eyes finding the gash on her shoulder and taking in the exhaustion of her frame. What… What was wrong? What had happened? Had anything happened; had the wolves attacked Ichika too?
She decided to forgo more words as she stepped forward, nuzzling into her friend’s russet mane and whimpering softly in greeting.
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ooc:
On the cusp of desperation she peered across the distance to the skull lined borders awaiting the surface of her kindred soul’s reflection. She waited so quiet and still with hardly the whisper of breath escaping her flared nostrils. What movement there was came from the subtle twitch and bend of her ears, vigilant to the sounds of the afternoon and what message the ancestors may deliver to her. As far as her ears could tell, their voice came as that of her Eurasian howl, faintly screeching as he cut across the sky chasing the fanned tail of his young apprentice as she circled the endless blue in acrobatic bouts.
The golden eyes needn’t see these acts now to know they had transpired, for they were the repetitive movements she had seen before and she could hear the elation in both their voices. Her eyes were better used to scan the distance, combing the terrain for hide or hair… then slightly they widened as they spied the pale fur a part from the dulled ground. Despite her eagerness, the she-wolf remained seated. Both body and mind weighed, she was fixed with only her tail free to display her content in seeing her student turn independent again.
The questioning tone was met with a tired smile. So much to say was left on her tongue unwilling to divulge when the memory would serve only to depress her. She rounded her shoulders, the torn and the scarred to dismiss what worry had come to the female’s face and thoroughly embraced her comforting touch as she neared. Her head gently fell atop the tawny shoulder nuzzling into the weathered fur in greeting and reverence. Quietly she whined her endearment until the necessity of voice became too much to ignore. Her kind had no gesture for the complicated musings that plagued her, for she had never witnessed a need for them among the Nomad. No one had never felt so out of place. No one had ever needed such assurance.
“With the passing of Winter and the coming of Spring… I have found these lands have become stranger to me that the lands I have not crossed.” Carefully she withdrew her head to look fondly into the soft pools of blue. “The Endless Path does not call to me… but a whole different path that has no better end. We call it the Lost Way…” softly, the she-wolf smiled. “…and I cannot bring myself to turn from it. With no guide to pull me from it… I fear I am well on its way to stray down its darkness. But I had hoped to find another route back to the one I knew. It is… just difficult to find it when the path is shrouded…”
(313)
Vesper is by me!
A muzzle pressed into her tattered tawny fur, and the pair shared their wordless whimpers. Vesper could appreciate this simplistic closeness with no other coyote, she thought—and definitely no other wolf. It was different from what she had with the young scouts, and Helotes, and even Myrika. It was instinct, and friendship, thoughtless and blissful.
It ended all too soon, the golden woman speaking of the trials that the change of seasons had brought, drawing away. The hybrid pricked her ear to listen, her scarred brow furrowing lightly with worry and a desire to understand the enigmatic words. The Endless Path had ended for both of them when they joined their respective packs, even if part of it would forever live on in their souls. She knew she could not rejoin it except in her dreams and her ideals, and when X’yrin finished she was at a loss of what to say.
Why have you become lost? Vesper asked helplessly. She had been lost once, confessing under her Shepard’s stare to being conflicted about what she wanted in life, but she’d found it again. She swallowed after a moment, not sure if she should dare add what she knew. When I saw Kiara, she said there was…trouble adjusting in Ichika.
The responsibilities of a leader fell heavily upon a lone wolf’s shoulder most of all. They might have more knowledge and experience from their wanderings, but they always found it harder to bear the weight and interact with their new family. Ves knew she still had shortcomings as Optio, although she was finding her footing within Inferni more and more each day—especially with the disaster to bring them together. The beads around her throat suddenly had more weight, and she wondered if she should tell X’yrin about the dangers that plagued her clan now. Her pale eyes flicked to the side.
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ooc:
There was no answer to the why, only how she had come to wander down this negative path. Selfishly she could blame it all on her coming to this place rather than remain in the North were life was simple and well known. But her heart would not allow her to think such a way…
“Why…” she repeated softly with eyes wandering from the soft blue of her companion’s to the earthen hues beneath their paws. Her ears twitch uncomfortably at the mention of the young mother and again she found herself suppressing a growing sense of betrayal. Calmly, she soothed that surfacing beast and breathed the air wrapped in the scents of blood and her dear friend.
“I sought to make something that was not mine to have… the ancestors have shown me this and have guided me toward this undesirable circumstance. I have walked blindly, searching for the Shepard’s path but could not find the warmth of his steps… only the alien cold of the unknown. And yet…” again she inhaled their melded scents and released a taxed breath. “I did not have the support of those I cared for to bring me back toward the familiar. Even whom I loved left me to wander in the darkness without a light or scent to guide me…” As she spoke of him, she could not swallow, she could not breathe… she could not show anything other than the calm, placid face of understanding as if she would have done the same in his position. In her heart she knew this not to be true, but she could not let the pain of his loss show, nor let it affect her any longer. So she smiled a small, weary smile and looked to her friend again.
“As I pup, I was told the path of the Shepard would be mine to partake upon, but always in my mind’s eye did I believe I would have the shadow of my Shepard, just as his Shepard followed him. Perhaps it was my own fault for believing this would follow upon these strange lands… and clung to it so desperately that all else went ignored.”
(312) Exams make Raze's posts sad.
Vesper is by me!
The scarred woman always felt reluctant when it came to asking hard questions or addressing difficult occurrences, but she knew not to flinch away from what she wanted or need to know. She knew that it would hurt X’yrin to speak more of this, and her lowered gaze and twitched ears showed some discomfort, but if she better understood, she could better help.
The Nomad spoke, and Vesper thought back to her own leader’s surprise that those of the mountain pack had stepped down. Would she find a crumbling pack if Ezekiel left and she was forced to reign alone? The difficulty of such a thing was beyond her, and she listened with sympathy until her friend mentioned the departure of someone she loved. She was transported to winter, to her friend’s pride, the smell of her mate on her, and her lip curled with disapproval, as if she wanted to bite into the grey male then and there.
Everything had fallen away, leaving X’yrin alone and smiling softly in the face of it all. She was a Shepard without those to lead, a mentor without a guide, one who had left the Endless Path to find a broken destination.
Oh, X’y, Vesper breathed. She was at a loss for more helpful words, and she snuggled close to the golden wolf again, licking her wound and tucking against her for comfort. Why had she risen where her friend had fallen? Both came from the same world, both had claimed positions of power in their new families, but now… Are you going to leave? she asked softly, thinking of the spacious land beyond the mountain range and isthmus. Nova Scotia was a land of false promises to the Exultare, but what about beyond?
I don’t want you to leave, she added almost inaudibly, selfish and childish. I want to help, but… You were always my Shepard. I don’t know what to do.
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ooc: x.x how late is this reply?
There was comfort found in camaraderie, and though it was pleasant she could not escape the hurt she endured knowing that she could not receive this reassuring touch from anyone she still knew. The pups were innocent in this, void of understanding as to what brought their caretaker to feel like this. Their only understanding was that the male they had come to see as father was gone, and the woman who cherished them unconditionally was hiding her hurt as best as she was able from their prying eyes. But they did not know why circumstances had become as they had. The woman could not take comfort from them, but give it instead and assure them that all would be well despite the apparently contrary to these claims.
And so she was made to find her peace, her comfort, her strength in a student she had taught to be strong and take from her what understanding she could offer though the woman had only given her riddles and scenarios to craft a broken story. But within the tale, her tawny friend had taken the thoughts that had burdened the autumn woman for some time; would she leave this place? Cast everything aside and start again on the Endless Path? Or return home and give into destiny with her heart broken and purpose unfulfilled? Would she leave this all behind and forget the wonderful and terrible experiences she had had upon these strange lands that had come to feel like home? She had left a home that had far deeper bonds than here... what was stopping her from doing it again?
Her head came to rest comfortably atop the crown of her student and friend. Her torn ear did not escape the tongue of sorrow nor could her friend not feel the uneven beats of pain in her chest for the damage suffered by life's trials. And its pace quickened its erratic rhythm as those soft words reached her own lying ears. The woman was not so vain to place herself in a state of awe at such meaningful words, but she could allow herself to feel them modestly and stir a true heartening smile. "It is the responsibility of a Shepard to see to their student's happiness as well as teach them the skills of their Family." Gently, she nuzzled into the lone torn ear, again dislodging loose strands of auburn mane to come cascading around the secluded pair. "...I believe I have done well to see to one of these tasks... but would fail at the other if I went against my dear friend's happiness."
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It's okaaay. <33
Vesper is by me!
Vesper breathed in her friend’s scent almost desperately, knowing that there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to again. There were many factors at play, one of the strongest being the threat that had come to her clan. Her rosary was heavy around her neck at the thought, but she knew that she would do everything to push through. She had few friends beyond the coyotes she called comrades now, but they were far away and deserved her love just as much; she had finally found that balance.
X’yrin nuzzled at the tuft of fur and scar tissue where her ear had once been, but the gesture was comforting. She spoke softly, saying that a Shepard had responsibility for their student’s happiness as well as their abilities.
The coywolf brightened at that, ignoring her own selfishness in favor of bliss, and licked the golden woman’s cheek. If the time truly comes where you have to walk the Endless Path again, I promise that I won’t stop you. Her vow was solemn but warm; she knew that she needed to let go sooner or later, not cling like some cub to its mother. But until then, I’ll help you the best I can to overcome this.
Her smile died when she realized that this task would be impossible right now. She drew back slightly, glancing over her shoulder in the direction of the stakes lining Inferni territory. Many more skulls would decorate them soon—she hoped.
Inferni has fallen on hard times too, X’yrin, she confessed, unable to keep the secret any longer. We’re… We’re at war. The beads pressed against her throat when she swallowed.
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ooc:
Her own dismay sounded like a fickle thing when compared to the severity of the words that left her friend’s lips. War. Though her very title among the Nomad was derived from this word, it still coursed a chill down her spine when uttered alone. She had only the tales of war to go by, the travesties of battle that left many scarred and wounded mentally, physically, emotionally. Her favor towards the wolf despising pack was nil at best save for the female within her embrace, but the horrors of what she had heard followed war…she wished upon none.
And it was with this confession that the woman truly noticed the beads around her beloved friend’s neck and how much pain it caused her. But it was a different kind of pain, one that simply removing the rosary would not alleviate. A burden of responsibility was not easily lifted. “At war with whom?”
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Vesper is by me!
Vesper had been worried for as long as she’d been with the pack that Inferni would turn its sights on a weak pack, living up to their bad reputation. She knew enough about its past wars from Myrika, and while many were instigated by others, the coyotes’ paws were not free of blood. She’d fretted about the Aquila declaring her friends’ pack an enemy more than anything; she had no desire to fight friends, and thoughts of being labeled a traitor had kept her up many nights before her promotion.
She was spared that, but the enemy they faced was full of hate. Her ear flattened at her friend’s question, and she spoke dully. Wolves. A group of them from the southwest, from outside of this region, mean to wipe us out. It was clear from the quiet acid in her voice that “us” was a much greater population than simply the long-lived fire clan.
Her blue eyes fell to the earth. Even if we survive—which we have every intention of doing, no matter what it takes—I worry about the others. Not all of us are so full of hate, X’y, but these wolves… Hate will begin to fester now if it didn’t before. I’m worried what will happen after this is all over. If there even would be an after. Inferni was strong, and it would survive, but despite her own strength and ability to crawl from mortal harm, she didn’t know how she was going to come out of this.
How many more scars would she bear, and which cut would prove fatal?
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ooc:
The blood coursing through her veins did not flow freely without the burden of a history of vengeance and cruelty. The Nomad believed no species was without its wrong brought on in history at one point in time, and to believe otherwise was surely in ignorance. She did not favor the coyotes of Inferni because their hate was stemmed from past experiences, allowed to fester in an environment encompassed by disdain for the larger beasts. She had grown angry to learn of this blind prejudice but nothing had been done on her part to dispel it, except for the friendship she had made with one neither fully one nor the other, but a seamless compilation of both warring worlds. She would have been foolish to assume this bond alone was enough to motivate the abolition of a lifetime of hatred. And foolish still to believe that any other this was fostered without fault of her own kind.
But in hearing the enemy opposing the clan, the Exultare felt neither anger nor sadness, but disgust. It was true; if there was not hatred before, then there surely would be now and what lingered would only fester as one kind sought to thwart another. The end result would be catastrophic if not permanently scarring the clan and impressing upon the ignorant that these actions were ‘right’. She could not begin to understand the toll this situation placed upon the shoulders of her friend… or know how long she would be able to endure it.
The Nomad lowered her muzzle to gently lick the cheek of the Infernian lead, offering not condolence but strength in so soft a form. “I cannot claim to know what the ancestors foresee for you or your family Vesper. But I know these trials are not without a purposeful meaning. It may look that at this end there will only be a widening rift between the shaky co-existence but there are ways to lessen its damage. Hatred is a beast that will not release its bite because we wish it to, but must be encouraged through understanding… and at times through what were once believed to be unthinkable means.”
Lifting her muzzle, she offered what she could make of a smile for her friend. “It is the duty of a Shepard to see to the happiness of their student. I have faith, that led by you your family will survive this conflict, but for your happiness, I offer my aid in seeing to the conditions of its end.”
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(365) Oh so rambly Raze.
Vesper is by me!
It was a bloody cycle. Prejudice led to violence led to prejudice, and every individual felt justified: a wolf raped my mother, coyotes destroyed my home, a hybrid slaughtered my children. In the end, it always came back around, and no true instigator could be found other than the fear that existed in all of them—the inherent xenophobia that was deep instinct for the animals. That was how she knew it would never end, no matter how much the luperci evolved socially. The same bestial mind that forced them to hunt and fight and reproduce drove away the sick and the strange, killing away any potential threats before it was too late.
Heavy thoughts, and far too heavy for the young coywolf. She was not meant to stop and ponder all this; she was meant to defend those she loved and prepare herself for whatever came as a result. She was a scout, a fighter, and a leader.
The golden wolf spoke words of reassurance, but they fell flat. Understanding meant nothing, and it was almost impossible to achieve; one action led to a million. She’d heard of individuals who brought down the destruction of their entire packs because of their actions, and she knew she couldn’t do it. Inferni would always be the band of outcasts, not quite full coyote but not wolf enough to matter.
Let them hate, so long as they fear, Vesper thought, and she understood a long line of Aquilas and warriors before her.
X’yrin smiled at her, and she tried to return the expression, but she ended up shaking her head. She didn’t know just what her friend was offering, but she knew she could not ask the Nomad to fight. The reasons were more for the pride of the clan than her Shepard’s happiness; she really wanted to accept all the help she could, but this was their fight.
Just be here for me, the tawny coywolf entreated, her ear falling back and a whine leaving her. Just be there when this is over. That’s all I can ask. She would need healing, and she couldn’t do it all on her own.
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ooc: And she's SO going to check up on her in the near future. T_T X'y loved her Vesy.
The request of her dear friend was simple, but not so easily fulfilled given the burden placed upon her worn shoulders. Yet it was a request the Nomad had every intention of fulfilling regardless the means or what it took to succeed. Be there for her student… her cherished friend when all this madness came to an end. Offer what strength she could provide to ensure the leader remained upon her feet.
Her smiled turned sad then, envisioning the possibilities of what could become of this tragedy befalling the yotes of Inferni. What they would suffer through… the pain they would endure… all to ensure that their way of life prevailed against this senseless attack bred from prejudice. She could not foresee how much, but knew this blow would strike them soundly for the attacks of the ignorant and vengeful were never reasonable and soft. She would rather lend her strength even to the kind that despised her own if it meant alleviating but an iota of the difficulty these trials would bring.
But she wanted only for her to be there at the end…
“Of course,” she swallowed thickly, forcing down her collected pain and coaxing a gentle smile to life upon her muzzle once more. “You need only call for me, my dearest friend. I will be there when you need me.”
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