step outside these walls

Saul Stormbringer · 05-02-2012, 10:07 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[394]
26.04.2012 . 12pm . halifax . lupus form

Dark paws were intense on the ground, devouring the miles as he ran. His own personal demon was haunting him from the camp that he'd just left, but something had changed. While she had been completely avoiding him, he could still sense that she was there in the camp. But when he'd woken this morning, he couldn't figure out where she was, because she certainly wasn't in the camp. He'd forced himself to relax- she probably just went out to hunt or something. Still, pacing around the camp wasn't doing any of them any good and Saul had told his son and his cousins that he would be back in a while, he was going to Halifax to see if he could find anything useful for them. It was a lame excuse, especially since Saul already had everything he needed and more, but he needed to get out of camp for a good while before he returned. It was wearing them all down, the weight of what was happening was pressing down on the camp because Saul and Lilin weren't speaking. It was a bad situation.

A rough pant dictated his running, the intake and exhale of his breath overlapping each other until it was hard to discern. It didn't matter to him, all he needed was to run. Abruptly, he remembered his flight from Dahlia so long ago when the changes had washed over his head like a tidal wave. He'd run so hard that he'd split his paw and he'd had to stop. He wondered if he would get that far today, whether he would run so hard that the ground bit him in return and he would bleed. The only difference between then and now would be his ability to treat himself, instead of having to call for help at someone else's borders. He must have been a pitiful sight, gasping for breath and bleeding on the borders.

A soft snort escaped him as he paws hit the cracked and broken roads that made up Halifax. He slowed automatically, instinctively easing up on the intensity of his run so that he didn't split his paws. He allowed his senses to guide him through the streets, spotting the university and continuing on until he stood outside the ruins of the hospital, wondering if there was anything in there worth looking for.

Colibri Haki · 05-09-2012, 03:25 PM

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Might try to spree this after all! :> WC: 280

The city was such a lonely place. Cracked pavement, broken glass, weeds slowly but inexorably tearing apart towering buildings of concrete and steel. It could be dangerous, too, loners often raided the abandoned places for supplies and would not hesitate to attack someone else sniffing around nearby. And still, Colibri found herself here again, wandering along the battered sidewalk. She was padding along on all fours for once; her Lupus form was small and weak, and not one she preferred, but she was feeling small and weak today and it simply felt more natural. After meeting the entrancing Lilin... her sister... Coli had begun to shift more frequently, trying to find the confidence that the Soulstorm wolf embodied. So far she had only succeeded in looking like a shabby stray.

The petite earth-brown wolf trotted leisurely, doleful blue eyes wandering across the desolate scenery. A glimpse of movement caught her attention, and she froze, ears falling back cautiously. Then she snorted derisively -- just a crow, hopping around near the old hospital building. The iridescent black bird parted its beak and cawed in warning, before noisily flapping its wings and taking flight. She bared her teeth at it for betraying her presence, but it was far out of her reach. Had the bird been scavenging old food caches? Perhaps there was something edible inside the old building. She wasn't above scavenging, not when she was such a poor hunter living on her own. Shaking her ruff, she padded forward, scenting the air. It was only then that she caught the scent of another wolf in the area, an observation that stopped her in her tracks. Had she been spotted yet?

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-09-2012, 03:57 PM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[286]
we can do spreeing Big Grin

His mind was in turmoil, the tension of their camp getting to him and it was easy to see. The usually happy male had a scowl on his face, his tail tucked between his legs as a pant shook his body. Green eyes were a little glazed, thoughts turned inward to what had chased him from his home in the first place. Not talking to Lilin was the worst form of punishment, and not seeing her was something that was beginning to chip away at him, wearing him down. The strain of his thoughts was something that Saul had always been away of- he'd always known that he turned inwards on himself when new information was given to him and he would often be found in heavy silences, thinking, turning information over in his mind to try and figure out the answer. There was no answer to this one.

The caw of a crow, and the subsequent taking off of the crow brought Saul out of his reverie and he whipped round instinctively, sensing a presence behind him. Belatedly he scolded himself- he knew he did this, became less aware of his surroundings and turned towards his own thoughts too often. His posture was defensive at first, before green eyes comprehended the sight and he relaxed somewhere. The female, as her scent revealed her to be, seemed nervous and he smiled.

Sorry miss, I didn't hear you. I'm Saul Stormbringer. He introduced himself, tail flickering softly back and forward to show his friendliness. His posture remained relaxed, although his ears and tail remained dominant, a stance he had been used to holding in the camp. Green eyes turned to her, awaiting an answer, perhaps a name.

Colibri Haki · 05-09-2012, 10:12 PM

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WC: 202

As it turned out, she had been noticed. Her posture wilted, ears back and tail stump flattened against her hindquarters. She might have tried to bluff her way out of it as an Optime, but she knew how small her Lupus form was and that she wouldn't look like much to this fit and healthy male. If he attacked, she could dart into the nearby building and probably lose him, but there was no guarantee he didn't live here and have a better knowledge of the corridor's twists and turns. He surprised her, though, by greeting her with an apology and a friendly tailwag.

"Ahh... I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm Colibri Haki, or just... Coli," she stammered, peering at him. Stormbringer sounded vaguely familiar... a long time ago, she had met a Stormbringer, a raven-black female who spent time in Dahlia de Mai. This male, with his mottled greys and whites, did not immediately strike her as a relative, but who was she to make assumptions? Most of the wolves in the Sadira-Soul bloodlines were a beautiful snowy white, and she had been born with the mud-brown markings of her sire. Genetics were a mystery to her.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-10-2012, 11:48 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[281]
weeeeeee spreeing Big Grin

He could see the submissive, nervous way to which the female held herself and the man understood. She was small in her lupus form (he assumed she possessed the Luperci gene, so few did not) that had he been hostile, she would have stood little chance of fighting. It would have been much more sensible to have been in a pack, for their protection, but he could detect no collective scent on her and assumed from the wild scents that clung to her, she was a loner. Of course, the Stormbringer Clan in the Moonstone Lakes was not actually a pack, but Saul knew they were beginning to acquire a collective scent having spent so long around each other. It wouldn't be as strong and potent as an actual pack, but it was there. Her demeanour change on par with his own and he smiled in an encouraging way before she opened her mouth and answered him. He snorted, a soft shake of his head given.

Only from thoughts I would rather escape anyway. He reassured, tail flicking easily to demonstrate his amiability at this situation. She continued, introducing herself as Colibri Haki, or Coli for short. It's lovely to meet you Coli. What brings you around here? He asked, green eyes bright and interested in the female before him. She was an interesting looking wolf- her tail was docked and she was small, willowy. He might have said she was a hybrid, but he wouldn't know much about them. He hadn't even been aware that his own bloodlines were tainted until Bran and Niernan had informed him of his traiterous blood, although Saul understood very little about the Stormbringer/Dawnrunner conflict.

Colibri Haki · 05-14-2012, 06:22 PM

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Also I fail at spreeing! xD WC: 214

"Nice to meet you too... Saul," she murmured, dipping her head politely. It had been a long time since she had gone through the motions of formality; usually her greeting someone consisted of her being a cranky loner growling at them to leave her alone. It reminded her of her time spent as a pack member; lots of bowing and scraping and being polite to wolves of higher rank that her. Following rules wasn't so bad, though... not if it meant letting down her guard a little, trusting those who shared the same territory...

The Stormbringer male seemed interested in carrying a conversation with her, so Coli neatly tucked her bobtail between her haunches and settled into a seated position. "I can't say anything in particular brought me here... just wandering, sniffing around. Thought maybe I could find an easy meal. Without attachments to a pack or family, there's no reason to stay in any one place long." True enough, albeit vague -- easier to explain than delving into the discovery of Lilin's existence, or wrestling with thoughts of her first love and whether or not she could ever see Anu again. "'Thoughts I would rather escape', yeah, I get that." She grinned humorlessly, knowing all too well the burden of an overactive mind.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-15-2012, 10:00 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[273]
no worries chicky! worlds worst post!

Green eyes were intense on Colibri, assessing although reserving judgement. Her voice was polite, although perhaps a little submissive but he supposed there wasn't a lot he could do about that. He thought about Dalgina, who had changed to much since their first meeting back in Ichika. No matter how Saul presented himself, his posture reinforcing that he was no threat and he was in fact friendly, she remained wary and fairly uncommunicative. Perhaps Colibri would be the same- Saul would remain his outgoing, confident self and she would remain quiet, a little withdrawn perhaps. The warm smile on his face remained as Colibri sat, her bobtail disappearing. He dipped his head softly, before allowing his back end to drop and settle on the floor, pale tail flickering around to nestle around his front paws. Her voice was still quiet, although not weak.

She admitted that she didn't have much of a reason to be here and he nodded, agreeing. His interest was piqued however when she mentioned that she did not belong to a pack. He understood how it was to be alone- while currently he had the Clan to deal with, he'd been alone for periods of time in his life and it wasn't particularly nice. I know the feeling. It can get lonely though... He admitted, thinking back to Dahlia and his unceremonious landing on the borders. Have you always been alone? He asked, realising as he said it that it was probably a prying question. He snorted, dipping his head in apology although there wasn't much he could say to take off any offence his question might have given.

Colibri Haki · 05-15-2012, 01:17 PM

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<3 <3 <3 WC: 230

Colibri was aware she was not being the best conversational partner out there, but she gave herself the excuse that she had not intended to speak with anyone today. Saul was a friendly and harmless wolf, and she felt a shadow of guilt for not being able to muster up a genuinely friendly response to him. He should know, though, that the fact that she was being polite at all and playing along was a feat in itself. She raised her eyebrows at his question, surprised at his forwardness. She shook it off, though, assuming he meant no harm by it. It stung a little to realize the answer was basically 'yes'.

"...Ah... well, I've been with several packs in the area... Crimson Dreams, before that Dahlia de Mai... two others when I was a pup, but something always came up, I suppose. I've been a lone wolf longer than I've been a pack one." She tried to shrug and sound casual, but it was difficult to keep the morose tone from her voice. She hadn't wanted to leave any of them, really, and it was her own broken personality that kept getting in the way. "Why, were you in a pack before?" she countered, perhaps a little too tersely. Her ears angled back in a silent apology, but she merely pursed her lips stubbornly and waited for his reply.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-15-2012, 02:37 PM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[310]
omnomnom

Their meeting was awkward- they did not know each other and Saul always understood that first meetings, especially those where just conversation was given, would always be weird. He didnt think anyone had ever perfected the art of conversation with those one did not know. A delicate line was balanced when meeting someone for the first time- those who were over exuberant on either side were usually viewed as at least partially unhinged, and those who were reserved like Colibri right now perhaps had something to hide. Saul believed none of these, accepting that first conversations were difficult to navigate when simply thrown into the situation. Their discomfort would have to be overcome if they decided that they liked each other enough to perhaps arrange a second meeting. The complexities were endless.

Her voice was once more timid it seemed, although he felt a shock race through him when he recognised her words. Dahlia de Mai? He allowed a grin to spread his lips, tail waving softly against his front paws. He reigned in his expression when she revealed that nowhere had worked out- it was sad that she hadn't found a niche that she fit in. Still, his excitement at finding an old Dahlian took over once more and as she asked about his living arrangements. He thought about where he'd lived before, his tumultuous start to life. We are similar, Colibri. I grew up in Dahlia de Mai and stayed with them until we merged with Phoenix Valley to create Ichika no Ho-en. I had a... disagreement with the female who took over Ichika when Nayru left and came to Hilburn, to live with my cousin Lilin. We recently moved to the Moonstone Lakes where we live with our family. He understood that most of that wouldn't make sense to her, but it gave a brief overview anyway.

Colibri Haki · 05-15-2012, 03:08 PM

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=3 WC: 305

It seemed they had found common ground after all. Colibri visibly brightened, ears perking forward with interest. "You were a Dahlian too? Cercelee, the first alpha, is my cousin -- I had a lot of family there, Mew, Conor and Emwe, all the Soul and Sadira relatives..." She trailed off as she realized they must have been there at different times, if Saul had actually grown up there. She had never met a wolf named Nayru. "Is... that what happened? They merged to form... Ichika?" She tilted her head quizzically at the foreign name, unfamiliar with some of the younger packs in this area. At least she finally learned what happened to her old home -- it had been disconcerting to realize there were no signs of it anywhere she looked. If Cercelee and her mate had never returned, it made sense that her old packmates would be willing to move on without them. But what had happened to her baby brother, Conor? Was he not a leader of this Ichika? Coli frowned, finding that some of the answers just lead to more questions.

Then the rest of Saul's words sank in, and she blinked in surprise. "Did you say... Lilin? She's your cousin?" Blue eyes peered curiously at the male, as if studying him all over again. Lilin was her sister by means of their father, but her other half was Stormbringer black... and apparently that made Saul her relative. What a coincidence -- Lilin had been too reserved to mention any companions by name. "I was at that lake when I met her. Did she... mention me at all?" Coli didn't want to reveal anything that would tread on Lilin's toes, not if the two cousins were living together. It was almost pathetic how desperate she was to make her sister like her.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-15-2012, 03:59 PM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[559]
beastly post!

It appeared the two of them had found their common ground, the subject that would give them equilibrium. Her demeanour changed drastically, perking forward with interest and Saul felt his own body respond, a friendly smile, the slight leaning forward, ears perked forward to catch her answer. The information she gave him was a dizzying revelation- he'd never spoken to Conor about Dahlia's past. He knew bits and pieces about the wars with Inferni but never the whole story of either campaign. To know that this Cercelee was Dahlia's founder, and Colibri was related to them, it was a privilege. Of course, he couldn't help the wince as Conor's name was mentioned. He'd found out back in Ichika that Conor had been killed- Saluce had told him with a grave face. It seemed his former father figure had a lot of relatives.

The majority of my bloodline is not here- I come from the Solbjorg valley, a long way away. Those that matter are close though.

He said, thinking of Lilin and Temeraire, Niernan and Bran, Ezra and Elias. He would have given a lot to bring his brothers and sister to his little clan, to be reunited with them too. For now, he was happy to be patient though. Her next question caused his smile to drop some- he remembered his feelings about leaving Dahlia, creating something alien. Yeah, when Conor... left, Nayru took over and Dahlia didn't last much longer after that. We moved to the mountains and formed Ichika with those from Phoenix Valley. It was strained for a while, despite our core concept of peace above all else. He snorted softly, thinking of the cliched groups that had formed when Ichika was just a fledgling pack. They'd settled down after a while, but it had been tense.

Her demeanour changed once again, something more akin to shock and Saul wondered what would have caused it. Her question confirmed what she was shocked about. Her simple question however, released numerous emotions in him that he disliked. She was, technically, his cousin. He had ceased referring to her as his cousin the night they had kissed, so passionately and ferociously. She would never be just his cousin again, although she wasn't talking to him right now- she would come round soon enough. He nodded softly, trying to conceal the lump in his throat, the water threatening his eyes, the altogether sick feeling in his stomach when he thought of her relation to him. A distant relative, we refer to most of our family as 'cousin'. We aren't too certain about where we fit in our family tree He offered, perhaps an attempt to justify the feelings he had for her.

Colibri spoke again and Saul raised his eyebrows softly. He didn't expect her to know Lilin, but he supposed it was inevitable. Nova Scotia was large, but the population was huge and he supposed it wasn't unlikely for the two to have run into each other. Her question came across as insecure and he wasn't sure what it meant. He supposed he should go with the truth as he answered. Ah, well.... She's been avoiding me and we haven't spoken in about a week... I don't suppose she'd had the... chance to tell me about you. He cringed, nose wrinkling softly. Hopefully it was an adequate answer.

Colibri Haki · 05-15-2012, 05:11 PM

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WC: 427

Solbjorg was another strange, foreign name to her. She had never spoken directly with the Dahlian Stormbringer -- her name had sounded like coal, now that she thought about it -- so it was new to her. She did miss the time she had spent with so many of her relatives around her, though. Now they were scattered throughout the land, or simply dead and gone forever. At the time, thoughts of the war had overshadowed everything else, and fleeing to safety seemed like her only option. She wondered how things would have been if she had stayed loyal to the flower pack.

"Conor is my little brother," she stated proudly, unable to hide the smile his name always brought to her face. More so than any of her other half-siblings, she and Conor had the most in common since they had both been directly abused by their father. As a pup, he had been just as shy and sad as she was still; but he had overcome his trauma and grown into such a reliable and handsome young man. Coli could not have loved him more if he was her own child. She had never told him what his existence meant to her, how she wished she could be as strong as him, but... she felt he probably understood their unspoken bond. Her expression became crestfallen as Saul explained further, and she let her gaze drop to her paws. "He left? Did he say where he was going?" she asked quietly, a small bit of hope creeping into her tone. It was hypocritical of her, she supposed, since she had vanished for more than a year without leaving any word at all. But if Saul was a packmate and friend, perhaps he had an inkling? It was sad enough to think of Dahlia falling apart, even if she had left them before that.

When Coli glanced up again, she noticed Saul's demeanor had changed. His friendly easy-going smile had faded into something uncomfortable, tense, even ill. Something about his kinship with Lilin was unsettling him. Perhaps it was not unlike her own convoluted family tree, with litters springing from incest and nonconsensual encounters. She knew better than to push the issue, so she decided to divulge the information she had been withholding. "Actually... Lilin is family to me as well. When we met, we learned we had the same father." She smiled helplessly, hoping this would cheer him in some way. She didn't share any blood with Saul, but they were in some way connected now.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-16-2012, 09:29 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[438]
<33

Their conversation was unexpected, especially as it seemed neither of them were looking for someone to talk to. But they'd struck on a common denominator and their conversation had taken off. Of course, he couldn't have known that it would stray into such uncomfortable topics. He thought that talking about Dahlia would have been good, a nice way to get his mind off of things. He hadn't quite factored in the tradegy that had led up to them merging with Phoenix Valley. He had never really addressed his feelings over Conor leaving, although he'd grieved when Saluce had informed him of the mans death. The two had been close in Dahlia, even if it was just a teacher-student relationship. His relationship with Bris had tacked him on to the edge of their family of Stormbringers and he'd been accepted. Her admission that Conor was her little brother caused his stomach to flip softly, unease filling him before her inevitable question.

Unlike some, Saul was not a lier and he was awful at it even if he did attempt to foil another person. The obvious discomfort he displayed at this topic would have been a big indicator that something bad had happened to the russet man. Green eyes turned sympathetic, albiet watery as he thought of Conor, before he took a breath. I'm sorry to have to tell you Coli... Conor was killed about a year ago. His son, Itachi Lykoi, is responsible He offered, his voice barely above a whisper as he told her of her brothers killer. He hadn't meant to be the bearer of bad news, but it wasn't fair for her to be kept in the dark because he was scared of telling her. He might not know her at all, but he knew if the situation was reversed, he would want to know.

She looked back up at him, his despair at his situation with Lilin plain and clear alongside the bomb he'd just dropped about Conor. Her words however, were a little soothing. He knew next to nothing about the man they both called father, other than his apparent lack of care for his children. Still, it was a good thing that Lilin had some relations that weren't entirely crazy. A sister... That must be a big thing for both of you to take in. He murmured softly, trying to imagine Lilin with relations separate from the Stormbringers. It would be good for her, to connect with the other half of her roots. His thoughts turned inward, although he kept green eyes firmly on Coli, trying to anticipate her reaction to Conor's death.

Colibri Haki · 05-16-2012, 02:44 PM

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sad post is sad! o: WC: 440

The news blindsided her. Coli had worried about Conor's well-being as soon as she had returned and found no traces of him or Dahlia de Mai, but she had never stopped to consider the worst possible scenario. And here it was; her brother was dead. Saul had no reason to lie to her, and the sadness in his gaze was genuine. She wanted him to be a liar, someone she could snarl at to be silent and tell her the truth instead. Angry denial started to build as she flexed her claws against the pavement, trying to process the terrible information. Conor couldn't have a son, he was too young for that. And Lykoi, wasn't that a coyote name? Impossible, Saul needed to get his facts straight. There was no way that actually happened.

But her defenses had already been shattered, and soon a hollow look of despair flitted behind her glassy eyes. Who could have done such a thing? Conor Soul was the sweetest, kindest child; he had not deserved to have his life cut so short, not by anyone. She, Colibri, was the one who deserved to die. Time and time again, she escaped the jaws of death with her own miserable hide intact, and now she had outlived little Conor. "...That's not fair," she said, voice thick with emotion. It would not do to cry in front of this acquaintance, but her vision was shimmering anyway through the unbidden tears. "Who is... Itachi Lykoi? Where does he live, why did he...!" A wave of righteous anger washed past her grief, as she gnashed her teeth and laid her ears flat. There was no way anyone who knew Conor would have hurt him. But she could hurt them, oh yes, she could make this murderer pay for his horrible crime. Even towards her despicable father, she had never wanted vengeance as badly as she did now.

Coli swallowed hard, trying to calm down and continue their conversation. It was hard to focus on anything, though, she was wracked with guilt and rage and so many conflicting emotions. It was exhausting. This tragedy had taken place an entire year ago, if Saul was correct, but it was still raw for her. "I hope... Lilin and I can become close. I lost my brother... but I gained a sister..." She spoke dully, suddenly feeling so weary and old. The world kept knocking her down, and she had less and less reasons to stand up again. "...Thoughts I would rather escape, indeed," she repeated, the corner of her mouth twisted into the barest semblance of a smile, grim though it was.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-16-2012, 03:35 PM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[446]
<33

Surprisingly, Saul understood exactly how Colibri felt. After the snowstorm, things had almost completely fallen apart in Dahlia. Conor had fallen into some kind of depression, although it could have been observed that there was something medically wrong with him. He hadn't spoken to Nayru the night Conor left and he'd never felt right asking her what happened, but it was unexpected and desperate. He'd left and the ripple effect had set in immediately. With Conor's absence, Bris had fallen further and further into herself, leaving Eclipse's care to Saul and the rest of the pack. It was like a double blow- Conor had taken the best parts of Bris with him and his parental figures had been taken out in one foul swoop. He had grieved for both of them, even though Bris was physically there, she hung on for perhaps a month before she left, leaving Eclipse with him.

Colibri's words pierced through him and he dropped his head, a wordless whine escaping. Her voice was thick with emotion and he didn't know what to do other than to agree with her. No, it wasn't fair and he'd been taken far too soon. The only thing he could think to do was apologise again Coli, Im sorry... He murmured, ears laying flat against his head. He'd gone through Conor's loss a year ago, and the subsequent degradation of his aunt had been crippling and it had thrust Saul into responsibility very quickly. But he couldn't think about how it would be to talk to a stranger and find our that Ascher had been killed. He watched as her despair turned to anger, an all consuming emotion that was clouded by the tears in her eyes. Her voice was incredulous, furious. She couldn't carry on and Saul shook his head softly.

I wish I knew. The person who told me wouldn't tell me where the boy is. He spoke truthfully, green eyes open and conveying nothing but sympathy and empathy. He understood her pain. Perhaps for the sake of their conversation, they continued with the topic of Lilin and her next words were poignant. She had family here. She has never had anyone from the Soul side of the family... He commented, although he realised it was a rather useless sentence. Her words were bitter as she reiterated his answer from earlier, given new meaning now that her brothers death was revealed. Perhaps you should get to know her better He suggested, hoping he wasn't meddling in either of their business. His interests were invested in Lilin's happiness, and he felt awful for being the bearer of bad news. Perhaps he could help them both.

Colibri Haki · 05-16-2012, 09:43 PM

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<3 WC: 348

Depression was a burden Coli had struggled with for most of her adult life. She had never known how to talk to anyone about it or fix it -- just that it was always difficult for her to find happiness in anything she did, or ever feel like she truly belonged. She was, simply put, broken. Mental disorders certainly seemed to run in her bloodline, something she hoped young Lilin would be spared from. What she felt now was far more intense than the dull ache of everyday malaise. It made her tremble from head to tail, as she numbly nodded in acceptance of Saul's apologies and explanation. Her throat was too choked up to form words. She stared blankly at a crack in the pavement, unsure if she wanted to start sobbing or smashing everything in sight. Probably both, although neither would make her feel better.

After several silent moments passed, the exhaustion took over, releasing Colibri from the throes of her heartbreak. She would have to mourn dear Conor on her own, though it would take a long time before she could even come to terms with his death. She might spend some time seeking out the Lykoi responsible for such a tragedy, although if he was truly Conor's son she wouldn't know what to do once she found him. Sighing wearily, she lifted her head laboriously to meet Saul's gaze once again. It was as though she had just aged ten years, frail and downtrodden as she looked then.

"...Lilin... I don't know much about her, but I would dearly like to spend more time with her, if she would have me. She had questions about our father, but I did not ask many about her," Coli said haltingly, remembering the sunny day at the lakeside. "I can tell already she is more fortunate than me... she has you at her side." She offered a weak smile, only meaning to imply that even a 'distant relative' had so much loyalty and love to give Lilin, making her better off than a true loner like Colibri.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-17-2012, 02:01 PM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

[399]
<33

The silence stretched before them and Saul respected the lack of communication. It had been such an unexpected twist in the conversation- Saul wouldn't have lied to her if he'd been able to go back and redo this disastrous exchange of words and information. He was acutely aware that he'd just sent Colibri's world in a spinning, crashing turn and he could see the depression weighing her down. Like a tangible black cloak on her shoulders, it was easy to see that the information crushed her. Guilt washed over the male as he waited, head still ducked and ears lain back against his head. He didn't want to be associated with the bad news, but at the same time she needed to be told. She could have spent the rest of her life looking for Conor, never knowing what had happened to him.

For a moment, he thought perhaps she might work away but she spoke, answering his questions about Lilin. She seemed insecure, unsure of her familial ties with Lilin, unsure of any kind of relationship they might have. He understood those feelings though- he felt pretty similar about Lilin at the moment. He knew what he felt for her was something far beyond that of a cousin to his distant relative. It was something more, much more that he knew nothing about. He looked towards the female, his mind whirring and throwing him images of the party, where they'd all agreed t try and start a pack.

I don't know if you'd be interested... But in light of recent events, perhaps you could use some support. Lilin and I are planning on creating a pack to the North. I would be pleased if you'd consider joining us.

He offered, hoping she would see it as a way of getting to know Lilin better, as well as perhaps having somewhere to recuperate and grieve for her brother. Her soft voice came again and he allowed green eyes to widen softly with surprise. How was it she could see what they couldnt? He snorted softly, a frustrated huff of breath before he nodded. I am the fortunate one, although she can't see that. He offered, tone soft and just a little upset. He knew he would have to return to the Lakes soon, Temeraire would be fretting and he never knew, Lilin might want to speak to him again.

Colibri Haki · 05-19-2012, 02:34 AM

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We can close this up now, if you wanna add a last post or just archive it. <3 Maybe we'll start a new thread in the packland? WC: 342

Coli could bear no ill will towards Saul for giving her such grisly tidings; he was the very picture of dejection, waiting patiently for her to come back out of her shell so that he could try to cheer her again. He was too kind, for she was a complete stranger to him. For all he knew, this heartache was something she deserved. Conor was one of the very few rays of light that could pierce the gloom she carried within her, and now he had been slain. Anu was another, her beloved, and that love had been torn from her as well through her own folly. It was difficult not to see misfortune as methodical, systematically removing whatever she became attached to. Her grieving, twisted logic told her she should no longer form any attachments at all, live only for herself, and then she would finally be safe.

Then Saul offered her another option, a generous and open choice. "...I... can't give you my answer yet," she replied haltingly, uncertain of whether she should agree to such a monumental invitation. She did want to get to know Lilin, and being packmates was the best possible way to do so. But she had not been in a pack for so long, and even when she had, her uselessness always made her a burden to those around her. Saul and Lilin could soon have their opinions of her soured. Being rejected by even them would be last straw for the melancholy wolf. On the other hand, she didn't want to disappoint Saul, not after how guilty she had made him thanks to the grim news he carried. "I'll be staying around the Dampwoods, though, so... when you're ready, you can find me there. I'll have an answer." It was the best she could do; she had so very much on her mind now, and she needed time alone to mull things over. She rose wearily to her paws, feeling drained of all her energy. It would be a long and lonely walk back.

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Saul Stormbringer · 05-19-2012, 06:10 AM

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If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd give you a morning, golden and true.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep in moonshine.

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fiiiiinishing!

His question seemed to suspend in the air, hanging over both of them. He'd meant it in a casual manner- he understood that it was a big decision for anybody and more especially for the female in front of him, but the sentiment was there none the less. He wanted to get to know Lilin's sister and felt that the two would benefit from being in some kind of proximity to one another. He knew Lilin was stubborn when it came to most things, but he hoped she would remain polite and friendly when it came to her sister. Her hesitation was enough of an answer for the moment, although verbally she seemed torn. He allowed a smile to wash over his face, genuine and sweet in return- she didn't have to make her mind up yet, they would be at the Lakes for a while longer yet.

She gave him a compromise instead and declared that she would be around the Dampwoods for a little while yet. He gave a soft nod as she stood. I'll be sure to do that. He offered as she turned to walk away. He stood himself, watching her move. And Coli? Look after yourself okay? He offered, a soft plea for her to see that while her brother was gone, she had gained some family as well. He turned back to the building in front of him, deciding that perhaps a little scavenge would be beneficial in some way before he returned to the Lakes.

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