05-27-2012, 04:22 PM
June 1
Getting ready for the ceremony was hard. There was so much for him to do, cleaning the room, making sure the bed fit in comfortably, making an area for Cadmeia to stay in, clearing a place for for her. He'd informed the leader of his intentions to take Isa as his mate, and managed to track down Thana. Hadley still needed to get ready for the pups, make sure there was food, and convince himself repeatedly that this was the right thing to do. It was so hard, worry filling him. He wasn't a very good partner, not capable of caring for someone else. He could make things with his hands, yes, but fighting and hunting were weak points for him, even with others taking the time to carefully teach him.
The large male left the fort behind, walking through the cool night air. He had to get some space. Hadley wandered past through the woods, no true aim in his walk. It was quiet and peaceful, relaxing for him. Sighing with relief he reached a small hill. Trees dotted over it, just leaving the moon and the stars as his companion. Looking up he thought about how his life had turned out. None of it was what he had expected. Being spurned by his sister, the life of drinking and partying, captured as a slave, falling in love and leaving her to fend for herself, turning to another. He was even going to be a father, something he was so afraid of. He had proved himself incapable of love, hurting Selene like that. Yet he was being asked to love such a precious young life.
He was afraid. It was true. The scarred hybrid had never been particularly brave, turning to drink to drown out the pain of his sister saying that she hated him when he'd done everything he could to make her happy and protect her. He'd surrendered to Isa when pushed as well, betraying Selene. Who was to say it wouldn't happen again? Curled up he watched the dark sky, wishing for answers that he didn't hold.
One of the stars moved softly. Blinking Hadley wondered what it was. The light was soft, and it didn't fall down like he had thought it would. Another star moved, this one drifting lazily down. Gazing at the hill Hadley's breath caught. The hill was alive with tiny flickers of light, drifting through the air. He watched with wonder as they moved, miniature stars dancing on the ground. Hadley had never seen anything like it. His throat caught, realizing what they were. Fireflies, the ones that made dreams come true. Selene had spoken with such longing to see them. They had finally arrived, and she wasn't there. He was sitting there alone, and would never share them with her.
The loss of his love finally hit him. Hadley had been holding back, preventing himself from breaking down. First he had stopped his tears for fear of making Selene stay with promises that he could make things better, when he knew he was worthless, would only hurt her again when the beautiful delicate female deserved so much more. Then he was holding back with Isa, afraid of hurting her if she ever realized he didn't love her as he should have. Isa, strong and graceful, always caring for everyone else with no one to care for her. He had tried his best to care for her, hiding his hurt. Now though, with the knowledge of never having his dreams come true, with no need to hide himself, he could finally, finally cry.
Tears flowed silently over his face. His body shuddered as he looked over the landscape. The fireflies continued their dance, so distant and mysterious despite being so close. He couldn't reach out and touch him, couldn't claim his dreams. He couldn't love, he was going to hurt someone he cared for all over again. The tears ran on as he watched, the night passing by slowly. One by one the lights flickered out, and as dawn's light finally reached, slowly touching up the hill, Hadley's tears dried. It was going to be okay. He was going to take her as his mate, and he would care for Isa with every fiber of his body. He would make sure their pups were happy, and never experienced what he had. He couldn't promise love. He couldn't even promise to do what he wanted well. But he would try. Standing Hadley turned, leaving the fireflies behind. It was time to work.
Getting ready for the ceremony was hard. There was so much for him to do, cleaning the room, making sure the bed fit in comfortably, making an area for Cadmeia to stay in, clearing a place for for her. He'd informed the leader of his intentions to take Isa as his mate, and managed to track down Thana. Hadley still needed to get ready for the pups, make sure there was food, and convince himself repeatedly that this was the right thing to do. It was so hard, worry filling him. He wasn't a very good partner, not capable of caring for someone else. He could make things with his hands, yes, but fighting and hunting were weak points for him, even with others taking the time to carefully teach him.
The large male left the fort behind, walking through the cool night air. He had to get some space. Hadley wandered past through the woods, no true aim in his walk. It was quiet and peaceful, relaxing for him. Sighing with relief he reached a small hill. Trees dotted over it, just leaving the moon and the stars as his companion. Looking up he thought about how his life had turned out. None of it was what he had expected. Being spurned by his sister, the life of drinking and partying, captured as a slave, falling in love and leaving her to fend for herself, turning to another. He was even going to be a father, something he was so afraid of. He had proved himself incapable of love, hurting Selene like that. Yet he was being asked to love such a precious young life.
He was afraid. It was true. The scarred hybrid had never been particularly brave, turning to drink to drown out the pain of his sister saying that she hated him when he'd done everything he could to make her happy and protect her. He'd surrendered to Isa when pushed as well, betraying Selene. Who was to say it wouldn't happen again? Curled up he watched the dark sky, wishing for answers that he didn't hold.
One of the stars moved softly. Blinking Hadley wondered what it was. The light was soft, and it didn't fall down like he had thought it would. Another star moved, this one drifting lazily down. Gazing at the hill Hadley's breath caught. The hill was alive with tiny flickers of light, drifting through the air. He watched with wonder as they moved, miniature stars dancing on the ground. Hadley had never seen anything like it. His throat caught, realizing what they were. Fireflies, the ones that made dreams come true. Selene had spoken with such longing to see them. They had finally arrived, and she wasn't there. He was sitting there alone, and would never share them with her.
The loss of his love finally hit him. Hadley had been holding back, preventing himself from breaking down. First he had stopped his tears for fear of making Selene stay with promises that he could make things better, when he knew he was worthless, would only hurt her again when the beautiful delicate female deserved so much more. Then he was holding back with Isa, afraid of hurting her if she ever realized he didn't love her as he should have. Isa, strong and graceful, always caring for everyone else with no one to care for her. He had tried his best to care for her, hiding his hurt. Now though, with the knowledge of never having his dreams come true, with no need to hide himself, he could finally, finally cry.
Tears flowed silently over his face. His body shuddered as he looked over the landscape. The fireflies continued their dance, so distant and mysterious despite being so close. He couldn't reach out and touch him, couldn't claim his dreams. He couldn't love, he was going to hurt someone he cared for all over again. The tears ran on as he watched, the night passing by slowly. One by one the lights flickered out, and as dawn's light finally reached, slowly touching up the hill, Hadley's tears dried. It was going to be okay. He was going to take her as his mate, and he would care for Isa with every fiber of his body. He would make sure their pups were happy, and never experienced what he had. He couldn't promise love. He couldn't even promise to do what he wanted well. But he would try. Standing Hadley turned, leaving the fireflies behind. It was time to work.