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Sorry for the powerplay here, if you'd like it to be setup differently, let me know and I'll change it.
He laid there restfully, leaning against the trunk of one of the thicker pines, whose branches, for whatever reason, were not present below five feet. Underneath the dense needles, the golden wolf rested with the comforting warmth of the coyote woman by his side. He hadn't felt at peace like this in a long time. He hadn't experienced this feeling of belonging in forever...somehow, the familiar comforts which he built around himself by patrolling a place for months and months, making it his stretch of border, keeping himself warm with thoughts of need and responsibility, that didn't compare to this. His rationality could give him purpose, but not with the certainty that biology, that the irrational animal that needed to be needed, could.
"What was your life like, Asphyxia?" he asked wistfully, as the two of them shared one another's presence beneath the shielding canopy of pine needles. "You had a full life before we met, what has it been like for you, living in Souls, or even before?"
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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[html]  nah, it's fine. (=
You are the weapon I choose.
Asphyxia looked at him but looked away when he asked his question, "My life before you... I don't ever want to relive it. I have five children... they were the blessing, the only good part of my life. I've been overpowered by too many, but most of all... I don't remember much..." she sighed and looked at him, "I was an addict forever, I've finally quit. Most of my life... involved running away from anything, everyone that I had to run from. Then, I stopped running and body over mind, slowly I started to feel insane." The black coyote wondered what Skoll had to say about that, but she didn't really want to give him a chance, "What about you? What did this..crazy life have to offer you?"
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Glad this plot is working out =)
Skoll frowned at her words. Her life before him did not sound happy. She had bore many children, and while that was considered a blessing, it seemed that it was one of very few that she had been gifted with. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her slightly, hoping that she would feel supported by the gesture. Life was hard, and older canines had seen more of it than most others.
"You'll never have to run away again," he said, his voice quiet enough that she knew the message was just for her, and yet confident enough that she knew he had absolute confidence in the words. He had fought many, and had once slain nine wolves on the Storm border rather than giving ground. If he could do that, he could protect this beleaguered woman from the that which sought to harm her.
"Bloodshed. A lot of it. I was exiled from my pack when I was young...our land was poor and they couldn't feed me. As the most robust of my litter, I was cast out. I killed my first wolf at one year of age, and by the time I arrived at Bleeding Souls, I had killed many, many more." He said the words without pride, but without remorse, either. His tone was cold, almost numb to the import of what his words meant. "Some of them needed to be killed...I did some good, I think. Others, though...well, had I been wiser, it wouldn't have been my hand that was stained with their blood."
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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[html] so am I (=
You are the weapon I choose.
Asphyxia looked at him, took in every word he said, "If only we all were wiser at one point in our lives, but it still doesn't make me think any less of you. After all..I've killed more than I should have. All I wanted was blood, but when times came to breaking point.. I finally stopped and ended up meeting you." she smiled as she leaned into him more.
"My children... they were a blessing, but at the same time, what they turned out to be... we were born to fight, taught to be killers and especially the way I grew up, I was supposed to teach my children the same things, and they learned them. My oldest children, Faolin ended up with Gabriel and now I have two grandchildren. Hybrid...I'm not sure exactly what's been going on with him, but he loves blood, in fact he probably craves just opening up wolves for fun." she sighed, not even knowing what Garnet, Midnight or even Toxic really turned out to be.
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Skoll was silent while she spoke. It should not have struck him as odd that the oldest member of Inferni had children within the clan. The fact that one of her daughters had mated with Gabriel should not strike him as odd. He hadn't heard of the Holocausts in the same way that he'd heard of the Lykoi's, but he had no doubt they were a fearsome family also, else he doubted they would be so at home within Inferni.
"I'm glad you stopped, Asphyxia. Even if you had good reasons, I'm glad you stopped." It was true. While he expected that the killings she conducted herself may have been hate crimes, murder rather than justified killing, even if she'd had all the reasons in the world for it, he didn't like the thought of her taking lives, even if they were coyote lives. He had loved Layla like a niece, after all, and cared about Tanya and Nikolov, so race had never been a big distinction for him.
"As for Hybrid, I've never come across him. I will do my best to stay my hand should we ever cross paths, though. I would not want to hurt you, even if my duty requires that I engage him or other members of Inferni." He knew that such a thing would likely be the end of this bliss they had found in one another. If, one day, he found that his duty required the death or injury of one of her loved ones, he doubted she would be able to tolerate him any longer. The thought saddened him, though this only appeared briefly across his features.
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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You are the weapon I choose.
The black coyote smiled and kissed him slightly and just a peck, "Thank you. That means a lot because even though they are that way, I still love them with all my heart. And at the same time, it's like I don't even know any of my children anymore, like they are strangers with names that I gave to them. I've been walking around, looking for Toxic, Garnet or Midnight, but none of them I could find." she chuckled, "Maybe they are just hiding from their crazy mother." they could have possibly been hiding from her. Although at the same time, that didn't seem so reasonable considering that they probably needed to talk to Asphyxia, especially about where the hell Naloxone was. It seemed now, that she thought about her old mate less and less everyday, the picture of him in her head was slowly starting to fade, forgetting the best parts about him and the only one that would ever help her keep the image in her head was Midnight because she looked exactly like her father.
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He smiled when she kissed him, and when she laughed at herself, also. He hadn't been so casual with a woman...ever. Even his experiences with Galdra had been less comfortable than what he was feeling know, and those had been his best memories. To think that he was so blessed as to be making such wonderful memories so late in his life.
"Have you spent a lot of time apart from them? I have never had any of my own, but I know first hand that life paths sometimes split up families." It would make sense that separation would contribute to the alienation of mother from children, though it was said that the two were never completely separable. Given that he hadn't seen his mother's face in over six years, he personally doubted what was said, making Asphyxia's situation a little more troubling than the optimists might suggest.
"Maybe they just don't have the wisdom yet to choose as you have? You said that you once walked a path that was more violent than need be. Maybe they just haven't gotten to the point where they can get past that need for blood?" He knew that his own violent tendencies had been curbed to some degree when he'd met Gronnor. He still fought after that meeting, and much more effectively, but he gained control over his bloodrage, over HawkWind's gift, and had so reached a cornerstone in his life. Perhaps her children had yet to reach such a landmark in the course of their own lives.
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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You are the weapon I choose.
Her black fur softened as she pondered his questions, "Yes, I've spent too much apart from them. After the fire, we were all split up, they were with their father but only they came back, I have yet to find them and actually asked them what happened up there." but it was true, they didn't have much wisdom that she had now, that she was able to choose to be good or evil, and even Asphyxia had a hard time debating which side to choose. Considering everything, she had Skoll and to maintain any relationship with him she was going to have to take a break on the whole slaughtering thing. Although, she was afraid that the minute they didn't work out, she may go back to her old habits and be the same old crazy Asphyxia Holocaust heard of and dreaded.
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Skoll's ear twitched at the mention of a father. Was Asphyxia not single? He hadn't even thought to ask. Could he be a part of adultery? He knew that it was a crime with serious consequences, though those consequences might be different or warped somehow in the highly political climate of Bleeding Souls...more complicated but less severe punishment, he suspected.
"Your children...their father. Are you sure he's gone? Wouldn't you regret being with me if you found out your mate still lived?" He did not want to undervalue what they had been feeling for the last few weeks, but he knew he had not been a mate to her. They were different species in a land where species mattered, and the damnable politics of this place made any such union near impossible, especially with Inferni the way it was. Nevertheless, he loved her...if it wasn't all a trick of his mind, he felt like he could love her forever. If a new man emerged from the smoking ruin of Bleeding Souls, he did not want to relinquish her affection, but nor did he want to create a rift within her family.
After all, another coyote could care for her much more directly than he would be able to. He wanted to be there for her always, but until a solution to their situation was found, he knew that could never happen without great loss to Asphyxia. That was the last thing he wanted.
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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You are the weapon I choose.
Asphyxia's eyes softened and became more depressed looking as she looked down at her lap because of Skoll's question. What was there to say? She had to get over him, "If he was alive, he obviously doesn't love me anymore if he did not come to find me. He has to be dead, and either way, we are no more... clearly. He wouldn't just leave me, but he did so obviously something is wrong, and I'm sick of waiting around for him, I need to get on with my life. Plus, truthfully, I enjoy being with you, even if we have to be in secret... to me that doesn't matter because that means every time we see each other, we'd always be alone and that's alright with me." she cuddled into him, "You are what I want now. Not him, he's just another ghost, another run away, but you are the present and if things go alright, my future." she smiled at her words, you could even hear the promise in her voice.
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I thought we could stop here, or carry it on for another post or two?
He listened to her words, and slow, uncertain acceptance began to leak into his thoughts. That reasoning did not mesh with his usual stance. Responsibility was key in his life, and if she already had a family, wasn't it crucial to ascertain the fate of the father? Nevertheless, he did not want this to end, and if she believed the best course was to forget the man she had been with...he couldn't bring himself to contradict her.
He squeezed her tighter as she spoke her last words. It filled him with happiness to hear her say them, even if a part of him was unsure about this, about accepting a sacrifice of obligation for happiness. Still, this need had gone unanswered for so long, there was nothing that his rigid morals could do to stand in its way right now. She wanted him, even if her old love remained outside. The thought of the two of them doing this in the future...it filled him with hopefulness that he had lost long ago.
"Then let's do our best to ensure that everything goes well," he said, nuzzling her. He wanted Asphyxia in his future, and would do what he needed to in order to ensure that she was. Quietly, a small voice in his mind prayed that his duties would never cross this new path his life was taking. Somehow he knew that should this go against his own responsibilities, he would have no recourse from being torn apart by the internal forces within him. Asphyxia, let's never let the silly politics of this land tear us apart, he thought quietly.
~The lyrics are from the best song ever written.
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You are the weapon I choose.
The black coyote smiled as he said those words, it was true, they had to make sure everything went okay and she even had reassurance that he'd protect her no matter what. She trusted him completely and she hoped he trusted her with her words and her own promise. Asphyxia smiled and kissed him like she never had before. She wanted to give herself to him completely, and it's exactly what she did.
After departing from Skoll, she decided to take a walk, enjoy being wrapped up in her thoughts. Oh what a wonderful day she was having. She finally got to show Skoll exactly what she felt for him, ensuring him that all would eventually be fine. Everything was quiet except for the nature of the forest-like place. However, she heard movement behind her, thinking about it for a moment she was about to turn around but she felt a pain on the top of her skull and everything went black.
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