the daydreamer's nightmare is to never even try
#1
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(315) Myridearrrrr.



Vesper is by Alaine!

Vesper toyed with the end of the femur, the dancing bone-shadow thrown on the wall by the lantern’s wavering light. It was a rarely-lit thing, for she fumbled often with matches, and she didn’t need it to read by because she didn’t read. While she knew a foggy day might grant the oil lantern its use, she kept it more as a luxury on the days she could afford to beggar a match from someone. Still, the flickering light gave the long cavern an atmosphere she somewhat liked, and she would enjoy gnawing on her bone in cozy privacy.

Lupus jaws worked the edge of the bone, and her cornflower eyes shut. She had spent much of her time active lately: picking up on extra patrols, expanding her low speech with the ravens, and mingling with the other Infernians more than usual. And she enjoyed the clan, despite the awkwardness with her sister, the teasing from Helotes, and the feeling that everyone knew she was moon-eyed over someone.

However, the Centurion felt it was almost necessary to be social. She felt like she was fitting an empty space, covering the hole but not the dark hollow behind. It wasn’t until she was alone with her thoughts that she knew the reason for the feeling: the near-absence of the Aquila. Ever since the Boreas war, Ezekiel had not been quite the same, and Vesper knew she could not pick up on the slack forever.

She frowned, lips falling against the bone, and gnawed more fiercely until it cracked and splintered in her jaws. Maybe she would talk to Stark about it; in his broken speech, he offered good advice. What he would say about Inferni’s leadership, however, she did not know.

Vesper sighed then lifted her head, the femur falling on her slender legs as her ear swiveled suddenly toward the deer-flap entrance of the cavern.

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#2
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(--)

The redhead was strangely calm as she moved amongst the caves. Perhaps she ought to be nervous, but Myrika saw no other choice but to do the duty Ezekiel had set upon her. She could run away -- running away was always an option, after all -- but she did not want to. As little as she liked the idea of herself bearing the title of Aquila, as awkwardly as she felt it would rest over her, the tawny-furred woman would not leave everything she'd created and crafted and found in Inferni behind. The things she valued most could not be packed on top of a horse and carried off: not without kidnapping, anyway.

The entrance to Vesper's cave wasn't far from Ithiel's. The waves were audible on this clear, quiet morning, and Myrika paused for a moment beside the scarred Centurion's den, listening and thinking. She would have liked to come here first, but she could not, in her first act as leader, throw herself at her subleader for comforts. In truth, too, she feared Vesper might anger at Ezekiel's decision. She was the subleader; wasn't she more entitled to the leadership? Myrika bit her lip. Perhaps if it was someone else, but she did not think Vesper could be angry with her -- or at least, she hoped enough to fool herself into belief.

The tawny-furred woman hovered in the entrance, bright blue eyes appraising the leather covering. Vesper, she called, not wanting to barge in uninvited. Not now, anyway.



Myrika is by Nat!

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#3
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Vesper is by Alaine!

Her heart thumped hard at the call, and her pads itched, but Vesper only rose onto all fours and gave her scruffy coat a shake before replying down the long tunnel, Come on in. She turned in a circle and scanned her den for any mess, but the stray feathers had long since been swept out, and the only miscellaneous junk that remained was not junk at all. She sat down and pricked her ears toward the pelt flap entrance again, starting to sit down on the bone before remembering it and scooting it behind her with a hind paw.

Ignoring the clatter of the femur against the cavern wall, the vanilla-tawny coywolf adopted an easy smile. Although Stark and Helotes and others could tease her for acting like a moonstruck fawn, she did like whatever dynamic she had with the auburn-haired scholar. She just liked Myrika, and was glad for her company no matter what the reason, business or pleasure -- even if she was curious for the reason this time.

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#4
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(340) myrika you're a dork. :c



Myrika is by Alaine!

Myrika moved aside the leather flaps and slid into the dimness of the cave. Her eyes took a moment to adjust as her ears pricked upward at the sound of something hitting the wall. It sounded hollow, almost like a stick. When her eyes adjusted, Myri could not make out just what it had been, for Vesper sat before whatever it was. She smiled, a shaky sort of thing, and glanced around at the innards of the cave. Hi, she said. Perhaps this would be several magnitudes easier if she felt differently about Vesper -- perhaps not. Either way, she could change nothing about her situation now, and wouldn't have changed this particular part of it even with the power to do so.

We ought to talk, she suggested, hesitated, and decided to keep talking. It was fairly obvious why she was here -- to talk. I'm sorry to be so sudden, but -- Ezekiel has left, she said. Both ears dipped half-mast for a moment, but she forced them back upright. He made me the Aquila. She had been given no quarter in the delivery of this news, and she could not think quite clearly enough to deliver it any softer than she had. Her mind swam with possibilities -- challenge, rejection, simple flight. Any of the above might very well rend whatever bond between them null and void, and this -- more than challenge, more than losing this newfound position -- was what Myri feared above all.

I don't want anything to change, she said, quickly. I want you -- she stopped, wringing her hands together. As Inferni's Centurion, she said. At my side, she said, longing itching in her fingers. Myrika did not quite know how she meant this -- as Vesper had been at Ezekiel's side, or as Segodi and Kidorah, the last pair to rule Inferni together, had been at one anothers' sides? She decided not to clarify and left it to the pale Centurion to interpret as she would, turquoise eyes searching her scar-marked face.

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#5
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(405) D: She's adorkable. And you can has "raze just woke up" reply. *rubs sleep from eyes*



Vesper is by Alaine!

The woman stepped into the cave, the waning lantern light illuminating patches of her fur. She greeted the Centurion, who noticed that something was off and rose quickly onto all fours, blinking. Sometimes what she felt for Myrika was clumsy and juvenile, but in the darker moments like those that had hit the clan lately, her feelings turned sharp and serious in a heartbeat. She almost thought about shifting so she could offer a little more tactile comfort in a gently placed hand or a hug, but she cast that notion aside as Myri continued.

Her imagination gladly plucked scenarios out of the air for what she wanted to say and why she looked so, but the truth struck her just as hard. Her ear swiveled forward, and her pale blue eyes narrowed for a moment, not quite understanding. Ezekiel, gone? The leader that Ves had trained underneath, that had promoted her and given her a reason to respect the authority of the clan? She couldn't fathom why he'd just be gone, and when Myrika stated that she'd been made the Aquila in his absence, the scarred coyote's confusion only grew.

Why not me? was the first obvious question. But she looked at the other's intelligent eyes and red-splashed muzzle and knew: she was still an outsider, no matter how quickly she'd risen in the ranks and adapted. She had been in the clan for little over half a year, and she didn't have the familial bonds that tied the clan together. Once, that had given Ezekiel reason to promote her, but she knew that the others might have trouble coming together under a leader they barely knew.

Did he say why he left? Vesper asked instead, controlling the shocked tremor in her voice with cool ease. This was no time to panic at her friend -- at her new Aquila -- or cause her any doubt as to her new leadership.

The disjointed plea made her look up, and her shielded expression softened. Wouldn't dream of anything else, sweetheart, she replied smoothly, and came a little closer at last. The difference in forms didn't really bother her as much as it used to, and she only leaned a lupus shoulder against the other's leg. Struggling with other words she wanted to say, she managed to ask, How do you... How are you taking all this?

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#6
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(--) THIS POST SUCKS Sad

The mahogany-haired woman shook her head firmly. He didn't. I think he was... well. I mean, I we can only guess. Maybe it's best not to speculate, she said hesitantly. There was no anger or disappointment on Vesper's scarred face, and that was a relief, at least. Myrika had hoped, above all, to avoid those two emotions. They might still come, but that they were not the first thing the Centurion leapt to was a very good thing, indeed. There was more certainty in her with Vesper's affirmation of her loyalty, and Myrika's small muzzle broke into a smile, wordless thanks. She knelt down to the other hybrid's height and placed a hand over Vesper's scarred back, not flinching away in the least at the broken flesh beneath.

I'm shocked, I think, she said quietly, laughing. I didn't know he'd... do this, she said, shrugging. I'm sorry if it's hurt you, she said, frowning. I said it should have been you, but Kaena, Myrika said, frowning and running her hand over the steely-gray patch of fur at Vesper's shoulders. It was harder to think touching her, but Myri wanted to, for her own comfort. She said it had to be a Lykoi. Myrika was a Lykoi by blood, but she didn't even have the surname. She crinkled her nose and wondered if that would be the old woman's next suggestion. I don't want to change my name, she added, ears flickering downward with the idea. Tears was her mother's surname, and she would not abandon this last vestige of Rachias.



Myrika is by Alaine!

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#7
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(321) <3



Vesper is by Alaine!

The coywolf reluctantly agreed with the sentiment not to speculate. She wasn't usually a gossip, although she liked to know when and why things were going on; it was part of her duties as a scout, after all. But it would be unfair to Ezekiel to come up with rumors on his departure. That, and she knew none of the reasons could come close to the enigmatic former Aquila. Even though she had led beside him for many months, she knew very little about him personally. It was okay with her, especially now, so the loss did not bother her as much as it might have.

Her promise drew a smile from Myrika, and Vesper wagged her tail as the other knelt to her level and put an arm around her. She leaned into the warmth of the other's tawny fur and nodded as she expressed her feelings. In Myri's place, she wasn't sure what she would have done -- maybe step up out of loyalty, but there would be plenty of doubts, especially as how the clan saw her.

She shook her head quickly to show that the change didn't hurt her -- even if her mind was sparking and wondering at this -- then blinked when Myri talked about changing her name. She smirked and shook her head again, gently. Ezekiel didn't go by Lykoi, she pointed out. You're plenty Lykoi without a name, Myri. She straightened up and gently licked the red bridge of the woman's muzzle. Like there, she teased, and shrank back again, sheepish. You don't have to change anything.

Her tail still danced behind her, but it slowed as she frowned more seriously and looked at her new Aquila. Are you worried what the others will think? Her expression hardened. Because I'll open up anyone who challenges you from throat to balls, the little lupus woman added fiercely.

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#8
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(--) INSTAPOST 4U. D'AWWWWWW



Myrika is by Kiki!

With the empty time between Ithiel and Vesper, her fears and anxieties and materialized from a generalized, ill-formed ideas into specific concerns -- chief among them, what she was supposed to do, but that was one she did not voice as of yet. Instead, she spoke on petty things like a surname and changing it. Vesper's words, of course, shattered this concern, and Myri laughed, partially at the woman's simple and easy way of dispelling that particular feeling. More of her laughter was thanks to the tongue on her muzzle, of course. Of course. I didn't even... my head's a mess right now, she added, shaking her head.

Thank you. I worry over silly things, she admitted, nodding. You can tear them up, but what if they all decided to leave? She fretted over this in particular. While Vesper might be able to defend her position, neither of them could forcibly make the coyotes of Inferni remain loyal and within the clan. Some might be angry about Ezekiel, too. She did not think anyone would be so deluded as to accuse her of wrongdoing, but that possibility lurked in the background, too. Heaving a sigh, the hybrid half-leaned against Vesper, ears flattening.

I guess the thing to do is call them together and tell them what we know, huh? She wasn't looking forward to this part -- while it was necessary, she had never done it before. It was one thing to assemble amongst the crowd and look up toward someone else speaking, but to be the speaker? Myrika gave a weak smile. After I get my head together. She wanted at least a little while to calm down and collect her thoughts.

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#9
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(--) yeah i'm too embarrassed to describe the sound that came out of my mouth when i saw that <3333



Vesper is by Alaine!



Vesper grinned, both arrogantly and comfortingly, and was glad to hear the other's laughter. It was relatively easy to stop Myri from fretting over that point, but unfortunately the woman just found another to worry about -- and one that was harder for Ves to dispel with just a kiss and a few easy words. She struggled to keep control of her face, to look as smugly confident as ever, but some of her ferocity faded as she was left considering the other's concerns.


It says a lot about their character if they left, the scarred coywolf said, not warmly at all. She snorted. If they didn't ditch during the goddamn war, I don't think they'd leave because a new leader popped up. And maybe they'll be mad at Ezekiel, but he's gone, and I certainly won't them transfer that anger to you. She was a lot more serious on that point.


She nodded assent as the new Aquila mentioned calling the clan together. After that, they would just have to see how everything went. She echoed the other's sigh, hoping that Myrika's worries were unfounded, hoping that the clan would see the sense of a softer leader as they were recovering from war. Some of them might be afraid still, wanting a soldier like Ezekiel to take care of them, but Ves didn't want the paranoia to spread any more than it had. They needed to heal rather than hate.


If he's just left, you have plenty of time, Vesper reassured the tawny-furred woman, mirroring her smile. I'll even shut up and everything. Here she grinned again, leaning her muzzle gently against the other's red-striped one.

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#10
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(--) Pahahah



Myrika is by me!

You're right and right again, she murmured. She could wait days, even -- few would question a brief weakening of Ezekiel's scent; he was not alone in journeying outside of the clan on occasion. This option didn't appeal, however: she didn't need days, just a few moments here, with Vesper, as things had always been. Until she chose to leave this cave and the Centurion's side, the outside world would be none the wiser about any sorts of changes.

Vesper was certainly right: Inferni had no great exodus of canines through the war, though it certainly would have been the time for such. In her recollection, almost none had departed the clan, in fact. She considered, turquoise eyes squinting with thought. Perhaps she should be angry at Ezekiel for foisting this burden upon her? It sounded right, but as right as it sounded, no anger welled within her. On the contrary, beneath the trembling anxiety of an entirely new situation, there was a deeper sort of calm within her.

I can do this, she murmured, lightly squeezing the smaller frame against her own. We can, she added, knowing it would be her and Vesper at the head of Inferni together. This felt more right than all the rest.

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#11
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cruddy cruddy post, and myri makes ves say retarded things <3



Vesper is by Alaine!


Myrika seemed to be in thought, and Vesper took the break in words to go over her own feelings. Maybe she was a little mad at Ezekiel for just up and leaving -- although she was forgetting that many other coyotes, leaders even, had departed from the lands and returned plenty of times. At least he'd stopped to name a successor, rather than abandoning the clan to complete anarchy -- because it probably would be anarchy; as much as she could pretend otherwise, Vesper was not ready for sole leadership. As she'd already justified for herself, the clan might like her, but she didn't have the familial bonds with them to lead. Not yet.


Some confidence returned to the red-haired woman -- whether feigned or otherwise -- and Vesper grinned as she was pulled closer. We can, she affirmed. The thought that they would lead together gave her nervous warmth, which was far better than the brooding she'd done earlier. There was a lot of ways to think about it, and she wondered how quickly the clan would see it that way; Helotes was already savvy about his friend's feelings.


Wanting to laugh, the scarred coywolf twisted slightly in her arms, rearing up so she could drape her paws easily over Myrika's shoulders. Nose to nose with the woman and smirking, she declared, We'll be the most rockin' chapter in your history book.

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#12
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(--) goopy stuff is hard to write Sad



Myrika is by Kiri!

Myri knew she would not be able to do this on her lonesome. She needed Vesper, she needed Ithiel, she needed the old woman and the blind woman and the children in her home. The rest of the clan, too -- what was a leader without followers, after all? The world was full of would-be conquerors and emperors with a single tattered follower and no influences. She must not forget the individuals of the clan: they were what made Inferni, after all.

When Vesper scooted around and set her paws on Myrika's shoulders, the redhead grinned more happily and easily than she had since entering the cave, and her hands went to the woman's forelegs, running over the smooth fur and knotted scar tissue both. Her smile wavered a little, though, when she thought of the history book and how much bloodshed was written into those pages.

I hope so, she said. Despite her half-mast ears, her voice was steady and without dread. But we'll have to hope our chapter's less bloody than the rest. She did hope so, of course, but hope did not make her an optimist, either.

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#13
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Yeaaaah. xD Not sure how the mates-at-first-sight couples manage it for so loong. We can end soon?



Vesper is by Alaine!


The other's hands stroked her thin forelegs, and Vesper once again felt a tinge of regret that she didn't have the time to shift. While it did nothing to the woman's feelings, it made it so much easier to express her affection -- touching and hugging and just about any magic fingers could work. She grinned back roguishly, at least until Myrika's smile wavered.


Fire and blood made the coyote clan, but the coywolf understood and would fight just as viciously for peace as she would for victory. With you as Aquila, I don't think we have to worry, Vesper said honestly. Her tawny tail flickered behind her. Like with New Dawn -- I have friends with some wolves and understanding with others, and I know that their alpha likes you. It was a hint about how she felt about the species-war, the outdated battle between wolf and coyote. She'd already near-pleaded with Zalen to understand the coyotes' fear after the battle with the Boreas, and while there would likely never be friendship between the packs, at least she could hope for peace.

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#14
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(--) omg I have no idea. INSTANT LOVE YES? Can end here or reply again if want. 83



Myrika is by me!

The fight between wolf and coyote extended far back and beyond Inferni, and Myrika did not hold high hopes of ending the old blood feuds. Still, she could at least mitigate them during her time as Aquila, however long that might be. She knew a coyote was just as capable of harm as a wolf; there was, in the end, little difference between Canis latrans and their larger cousins, at least where Myri was concerned. Her only hope was to make certain Inferni was a safe place for its members.

She nodded, remembering Zalen and how she'd been frightened of him at first. Yes, she agreed. He thought I was nice, for a coyote, she said, twitching her shoulders in a shrug beneath the scarred woman's forepaws. We can hope for peace, but we can't force it, she said. If Inferni's attacked again, by anyone... she trailed off. She'd have to be more than a scout and a fighter -- she'd have to be a battle commander, as Ezekiel was.

She decided to make light of it. I had better pick up books on warfare, if that happens, she admitted. She'd have a lot of learning to do, if that was the case, for she could not roll over on her back and expose Inferni's stomach to attackers.

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#15
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You can archive or write a wrap-up post if you want; this'll be my last (craptastic) reply. <33



Vesper is by Alaine!


The “nice for a coyote” remark might have sent the female’s hackles up when she was a tawpie, but personally knowing Zalen, Vesper could only shake her head in understanding. Even though the dark male had been decently amicable toward her ever since their first meeting, and outright affectionate (in a feral way) later on, there was an awkward distance to him. Tradition stood above everything else for the New Dawn Alpha, and while Ves could understand, she wished she didn’t.

Talk of future war made her full ear fall back, the mangled mess on the other side of her head twitching. As optimistic as she was, it would be stupid to ignore the possibility forever; Inferni had a way of finding trouble, as far as she’d learned from Myrika’s history lessons.

Books, Vesper echoed playfully, lifting her scarred brow, and grinned. But, seriously, you can consult books and coyotes both. I know everyone here would love to help. She paused. And, speaking of them… We should probably go tell them what’s going on. Her tone was reluctant; she’d much rather stay like this, snuggling in the den for hours and hours. But duty trumped pleasure, and she gave Myrika another encouraging nuzzle and smiled a hopelessly dreamy, slanted smile as she stepped back and looked at her.

You’ll do great, Vesper said with the same concreteness of someone proclaiming a new law.


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#16
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boom!



Myrika is by me!

Myrika smiled a lopsided thing as Vesper spoke of including everyone. Ezekiel hadn't done that -- it seemed to her he tried to bear much of Inferni on his lonesome. He hadn't told her or anyone else anything, ever, as a rule, and perhaps that had been the thing to drive him out. She would not do the same. Okay, she murmured, returning the nuzzle and sighing as she stood up, resigned to their fate. The reassurance was met with a confident grin. Though she was no longer quite so apprehensive, she didn't feel nearly as good about her prospects as that grin might have suggested. Still, she had to try -- she owed it to Vesper, Ezekiel, and all of Inferni.

To the D'Neville, I guess, she said, walking slowly toward the exit of Vesper's cave and out into the sunlight. She couldn't delay this forever, and waiting longer than necessary would only make it more difficult, in the end. Better to get it over with before her mind could create ten new scenarios of utter failure.

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