Angry Tears

Adelle Vilhelmsen · 08-13-2012, 06:08 PM

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out of character

It had been a month since Grandpa died. A month, and the pain was still as fresh. Acknowledging that he was dead had become easier, but the ache in her body seemed determined to remain. No matter what she did, Adelle remembered his last moments. Remembered the horror as she learned that Lorenzo was responsible for his death. Remembered being carried away, not allowed to remain with Grandpa as his body burned.

Crying had relieved some of her grief. Adelle had grown solemn now though. Most of her time was focused on training to become like her grandpa. The ax that he'd swung in battle almost always was strapped to her back. She ate as if she was constantly starving, putting on weight as muscles came out. Her secui form was monstrous to see, every part of her clearly built. In her other forms the thick fur made it look as if she had turned to eating to cover her sorrows, but it was far from the truth. Calmly she walked through the courtyard, mind razor sharp as she thought about throwing ax practice.

Neela Garcia · 08-16-2012, 08:03 AM

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OOC.

Word Count → 400

After the first month of bad temper Neela finally seemed to have mellowed out and was able to just lay down and relax, rather than pacing the borders constantly. In actuality her mood was less predictable than ever; rather than the predictable bad mood from before Neela was alternating now between being in a good mood and being in a VERY bad mood almost at random.

Still today Neela was in a good mood and was making the most of it, sunning herself in a patch of soft grass just outside the fort. She was chewing on a long, thick bone as she rested, the leg bone of a deer Tony had hunted. The bone caused Neela to look a little ridiculous; it was longer than she was wide and the only comfortable way to lay while gnawing on it was flat on her back. She didn’t particularly care how she looked though and the sun on her belly felt nice, so all in all she was quite enjoying herself. Neela had positioned herself by the gates in the hopes that somebody else would have little to do today and she could beg some company but so far she had had no luck.

The bone had long since lost any scraps of meat or flavour that still clung to it and Neela was now simply chewing for the motion, something to keep her busy. There was little else that she could do nowadays; it had become evident that either she was in for a large litter, the pups had inherited Tony’s size or both. Her stomach was swollen to a point that even the dullest of Luperci couldn’t fail to recognise it for pregnancy and Neela could barely manage more than a fast waddle nowadays without bouncing her stomach on the ground. Stuck in Lupus form and limited to walking the range of activities Neela could partake in to occupy her time were vastly reduced, which left her as she was now, lay down chewing on a bone when there were far more useful things to be doing.

It was frustrating but at the same time she welcomed it somewhat. Rest and relaxation were good for pregnant mothers and between her own stocks of fish and Tony bringing her food she had little to worry about in that department. She was bored, yes, but otherwise she had everything she needed.

Adelle Vilhelmsen · 08-16-2012, 06:55 PM

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out of character

Adelle stepped past the gates, glancing down as the bright colors seized her attention. It was something that didn't belong in the scene. Nostrils flared, breathing in the air. The icy eyes settled on the collie, not quite recognizing her bloated shape. She was pack, and Adelle knew she had known her before. How was the problem. Adelle trotted over, still looking over her curiously. The ginormously fat dog was chewing on a bone, and looked quite pleased with herself about it as well.

Neela? It took a moment, but Adelle realized the dog hadn't just gone and bloated up. She was pregnant. Very pregnant. There would be more puppies soon. This should have cheered Adelle up, thinking about having another playmate, but she just stared, not really feeling anything at all about the news. Enjoying yourself? It was supposed to be polite, but there was so little emotion in her that it sounded as bitter as she truly felt.

Neela Garcia · 08-29-2012, 11:29 AM

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OOC.

Word Count → 275

Neela was engrossed enough with her bone that she wasn’t really paying her attention to her surroundings and so the first she knew of Adelle’s presence was when her name was called from somewhere behind her. Neela yelped in shock and dropped her bone, squirming about on her back for a few seconds like an upset turtle before she managed to drop down onto her side where she could see Adelle.

Adelle’s voice was far from what Neela remembered of the young girl though, hollow and devoid of the happiness and energy that had filled it before. Neela had heard of the death of Adelle’s grandfather Regner but she hadn’t seen Adelle since the death, hadn’t seen how much the girl had been affected. She winced when Adelle spoke again, the bitterness in her words clear as day. ”I, yes. It’s good to see you Adelle.” Neela stammered. She was always awkward around those who had recently suffered deaths to those close to them, not knowing quite how to react, ”I’m sorry about your grandfather.” she offered after a few seconds of thought, trying to figure out what to say.

Neela hesitated for a few seconds, wondering whether to keep to herself and leave Adelle alone or try and talk to her. A small part of her, soley focused on the threat Adelle could prove to her and her pups is she turned angry and violent, urged for the former. But, Neela thought, large as she was Adelle was just a child, a child who had just lost the only parental figure she had left. Gently she spoke again, ”How;ve you been holding up Adelle?”

Adelle Vilhelmsen · 08-29-2012, 12:21 PM

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out of character

She hadn't meant to surprise the pregnant female. Adelle stepped back, watching as Neela rocked back and forth, the bone falling to the side as she struggled to get back up. She was awfully vulnerable like that. Just one step forwards, and the pups could be killed. A slit with her claws, and the life would be over. Why was life so easy to take? Why was it that when she looked at it a chill ran through her body, knowing that everything before her could just be taken away. All her life she'd trained as a warrior, knowing that one day she'd be expected to take a life in battle. She just hadn't realized what it meant to watch someone die.

The collie's words were shaking, traveling all over the place as she struggled to speak to the dog standing before her, detached and distant. Sorry? Her voice was quiet, icy eyes looking over to Neela. The color had always been sharp, but her gaze was even more intense in this moment as she listened to the hollow apology. There was nothing to be done after all. Me? I'm just trying to keep living when the world should have ended! It wasn't fair!

Neela Garcia · 08-29-2012, 01:06 PM

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OOC.

Word Count → 540

Neela shuddered at the cold look Adelle was giving her. Her body moved unconsciously, curling up around her stomach as best she could and shifting to put it facing away from Adelle, lips curling the tiniest fraction to expose razor sharp teeth – Neela had made a point to keep her teeth in good condition since being confined to Lupus form.

Neela shuddered at Adelle’s answer to her question. The words themselves were taken straight from the mouth of a melodramatic teenager but between the recent death and how much Adelle obviously believed them had Neela worried. For almost a minute she was silent, staring eyes scrutinising Adelle before she let out a low sigh. ”It hurts, I know, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m not going to bullshit you and pretend it will get better quickly, or that it will ever fully heal, but it will get better.” Neela forced herself to untense somewhat, releasing the tight curl her body had taken but still keeping her stomach away from Adelle, ”Death is a part of life always lurking in the shadows to strike when you least expect it. The world cares little for the likes of us, it will go on long after me and you and everyone we’ve loved is long dead, take it coming from someone a hella lot older than ya kiddo”

Often it could be said that Neela looked younger than she was, she took good care of her body and fur to make it so, but at the moment she looked and felt all 5 of her years and many more, old and tired. ”All my family is dead, aside from Tony and those I carry inside me now. My father died before I was even born, my mother tried to kill me herself and my mate and son died because of me. Every one of their deaths hurt, even my father who I’ve never seen, even my bloody mother who I had to kill in self defence! She was a murderous bitch but she was family. If you love someone you’re opening yourself up to hurt when they die, and if you stop loving people that you’ve lost, let life beat you.” Neela sighed again, a long, deep, weary sound that forced its way past her lips. She hated talking about death. ”We just have to carry on best we can when it happens, remember that one person dying isn’t the end of everything and look to those who’re still there.“

Neela hesitated for a moment but then continued, admitting something she had never done before. ”When my mate died I was alone, I had no one. I was just drifting about on my boat. Didn’t take care of myself, even tried to kill myself at one point.” Neela twisted her paws over, showing thin pink lines across where her wrists would be if her Lupine form had wrists as such. ”I got lucky; I botched the suicide and my drifting brought me here. You’re not alone Adelle. Your grandfather is dead but you have an entire pack that cares about you, and doubtless many more outside it. The world will go on, you have to drag yourself along with it.”

Adelle Vilhelmsen · 08-29-2012, 02:17 PM

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out of character

A shudder made it's way over Neela's body, the slight shaking observed by the chilly female. Yes, her words were cold, but she was who she was, and Adelle was not going to apologize for the discomfort another experienced because of her sorry. A slight smile tugged at her lips when she saw the flash of Neela's teeth. She wouldn't hurt a pack mate. She wasn't like Enzo, doing something so stupid and appalling. The pregnant dog was safe from Adelle. She didn't plan on lashing out with more than her tongue, which was enough to send shivers through the other's body.

Silent hung in the air, thick and choking. Perhaps her death would come now in this moment, screaming at the world it's impossibility. Neela's words wasn't what she wanted to hear though. The world should end. It shouldn't go on when something so vital to it's existence was now gone. Angry Adelle pulled herself up, Neela continuing to talk. Older, yes, but not as old as Grandpa, who knew everything. She didn't care for death. The news shocked Adelle in the end, deflating a little. It's good that you're here. Her voice was soft, thinking about what it was like to lose everyone she loved, something she had experienced herself so recently. No family, just her pack.

Neela Garcia · 08-29-2012, 06:28 PM

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OOC.

Word Count → 491

For a moment Neela was scared that Adelle might actually attack her, the young girl puffed up and angry at Neelas words but as she carried on speaking Adelle seemed to deflate, going from angry to sad. Neela didn’t say anything in response to Adelle at the end, instead she quietly pulled herself onto her feet and plodded over, bumping Adelle’s thigh lightly with her head and resting it there. She wanted to do something more to try and comfort the girl, to hug her or something but her pregnancy and choice of Lupus form for it denied her this, so she just offered what comfort she could.

”Life is a cruel cycle of pain, at the heart of it.” she said softly, ”There are good moments yes, things that make it worth living but in the end it is how we deal with the bad that defines us. It’s cruel that you’ve had to experience this so young, but that’s how the world is sometimes.” Neela herself felt depressed somewhat now, talking to Adelle had drawn up unhappy thoughts she normally tried not to think about. ”Someday I will be dead and my children will be hurt and angry, maybe even having his conversation with you or one of the other pack members, and then one day they will die, leaving behind children of their own and it goes on and on and through it all the world remains uncaring. The humans are gone, wiped out completely. An entire race destroyed itself and the world barely skipped a beat. Much as we love them, if the loss of an entire species didn’t stop the world, one Luperci won’t change anything except for us.”

Neela was tired today and even this short burst of standing was taxing her legs so she sat down heavily, leaving her flank resting against Adelle’s leg. ”I didn’t know your grandfather well but I knew him a little, knew of him. Regner was a strong man, but well aware of his mortality; as much as he tried to hide it from you. He was dying long before he stepped into the sparring ring with Enzo, he tried to hide it but it was obvious if you looked for it. He was old, he hid it to save you as much pain as possible, he loved you.” Neela’s words were guesses, made based on observations of Adelle’s grandfather during the time he had been alive but she hoped that they were accurate, that they helped, ”It’s natural that his loss hurts you but you need to deal with the pain. What would he have wanted you to do? I’m not going to presume to answer the question, I didn’t know him well enough, but think about it. Would be have wanted you to mope, lose yourself in despair or would he have wanted you to pick yourself back up and honour his life, not bemoan it’s loss.?”

Adelle Vilhelmsen · 08-30-2012, 12:47 AM

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out of character

Adelle crouched low, leaning back into Neela's solid body. It was warm. Again, the thought of how vulnerable she was passed through the adolescent's mind. Why was life so easy to take? Why couldn't it stay? Questions someone her age shouldn't have to think about, questions for those who were older, closer to death. Listening to the cycle just refreshed her rage. It was all so pointless! Why did it have to happen! Why?

Her eyes flashed, ready to strike out at the world, hatred for it's manners. Neela remained with the angry female, just resting against her while Adelle stayed crouched, muscles tensed. The collie's words were surprising. Adelle's eyes widened, hearing something she had never heard before, had never known. Grandpa had been dying? She didn't know that. Grandpa was dying? She hadn't known. She hadn't even suspected, her world turned upside down. I don't know.

Neela Garcia · 09-11-2012, 11:21 AM

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OOC Laughs

Neela paused for a minute, wondering if it was wise to continue down this path before deciding that any attempt to dodge the question was more likely to anger Adelle than talking about it. ”Of course you didn’t. He knew exactly what signs he was showing, how to hide them and didn’t want you to know. He was… less careful around other members though. I saw him coughing once, a few weeks before he died, his hand came away bloody.” Neela shuffled uncomfortably, wondering how Adelle was going to take that piece of news.

Neela stayed silent for a moment more, not quite sure what to do or say to try and help Adelle more, ”I.. if there’s anything I can do to help Adelle, you can always come to me and ask.” she said awkwardly; now that she had run out of things to say she wasn’t quite sure what to do, but she didn’t want to just go and abandon Adelle while she was upset.

167+

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Adelle Vilhelmsen · 09-11-2012, 06:11 PM

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out of character

Hide it from her? Why? Adelle knew Grandpa. He'd been at the center of her world, her idol. To hear that he was weak, that he'd been dying all that time was a crushing blow. She wasn't quite a child anymore, but she still had rage inside her, body growing stiff as Neela went on. Everyone had known, and no one had bothered to tell her? I'm shifted! I took a warrior's oath, and I've even fought in battle and won. There was no need to treat me like a child!

It was shameful. That it had been known to so many pack members, and she'd been kept in this perfect bubble. The shock and pain of his death had been so much to bear. Neela's soft words on top of that just heightened her emotions. She growled at the pregnant female. Of course. I'm just some ignorant youth who can't do anything on her own! That's why everyone kept the truth from me! It was hard to stay still as she was, and not strike out.

Neela Garcia · 09-17-2012, 08:38 PM

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OOC Laughs

Adelle had been non violent so far but even so being aggressive with her was, as unstable as she was and as indisposed as Neela was, was a very abd idea. Unfortunately Neela’s hormones didn’t particularly care whether it was a bad idea or not, and the derisive tone rankled at Neela’s pride, especially coming from one so young. ”That’s meant to be sarcastic but you’re proving it true!” she snapped in response to Adelle labelling herself an “ignorant youth”, the beginnings of a growl accompanying her words as her fur bristled, ”You think a ceremony and a fight makes you an adult in anthing more than technicality?! You think it gives you experience and knowledge on how to act or why people do things?! You think it prepares you for what you have to face in life?! You are ignorant if you think that.”

Neela’s gums lowered to cover the teeth they had begun to reveal and the collie exhaled forcefully, making a visible effort to calm herself. When she spoke her voice was softer, and sad, ”You’re too young to know how a parent thinks, or a grandparent.” Neela shuffled her feet on the ground, fixing her eyes on the scuff marks and away from Adelle, ”You have no idea how important it is to us that our children be happy, how much joy just that brings. I can’t say anything with certainty, but in Regner’s place I would have done the same and delayed telling you for as long as I could. He wanted as many of his last moments with you as possible to be happy, not sad, not overshadowed by his death anywhere except in his mind.”

284+

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Adelle Vilhelmsen · 09-18-2012, 12:34 AM

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out of character

True? She honestly thought that Adelle was some shallow child to be kept safe? It cut deeply, a thunderous growl building up in her chest. Hearing the ceremony that she'd taken so seriously talked about in such a light manner only increased her rage. How dare she talk like that! Adelle had taken that oath with complete seriousness. She had accepted the responsibilities of an adult on that day. The pack might not rank her as one, but Adelle most certainly viewed herself as one.

Her rage boiled over, teeth revealed. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to dwell on her grandpa's death. Adelle had accepted some of the things that Neela had said, and perhaps would even be grateful for the knowledge later on. Right now though she was out of control. Shut up! Adelle's voice was a roar, striking out. Hitting a branch it snapped, the crack ringing through the air. Eyes wide Adelle realized how close she'd been to hurting a pregnant female. Turning she ran, unable to face it any further.

Neela Garcia · 09-30-2012, 08:39 PM

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End here methinks

As soon as she had said the hasty words Neela knew she had made a mistake, and it seemed her attempts to smooth it over had been insufficient. Neela was already cautious, her muscles bunched and ready, so when Adelle roared she was already on her feet, jumping backwards as swiftly as she could. Her teeth were bared but before she could do anything, before she could do anything, Adelle ran. Neela stared after her dumbfounded, too shocked to even attempt a pursuit. ”Adelle!” she called, coming back to her senses, to no avail.

Neela waited for a moment and then slumped down to the ground, splayed awkwardly on one side and muzzle resting on her paws. That hadn’t gone the way she wanted; Neela had wanted to help Adelle, not upset and anger her, but her temper had gotten the better of her. Neela’s bones was still lay nearby but it didn’t seem to appetising now so she ignored it, instead slowly pushing herself to her feet and slowly plodding off towards the fort, her tail limp and mind weary.

Word Count :: +000

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