the mind is like a tomb
#1
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anyone welcome! Smile

It was a stark contrast, the beautiful pink and yellow flowers and Skye's own mind. Her pups were never far from her - only a week old, they were now cradled softly in her lap, sleeping soundly and peacefully. Their breathing, barely perceptible, was the only sound in the brightly colored fields. As she stared at them, Skye considered herself lucky, very lucky - but she did not feel it. Tragedy had struck too many times for the artisan pack, and she felt each like a blow to her. She was the only lucky one, the only one to have escaped her birth with no faults, no obstacles.. but it did not feel it.

Although it was truly a beautiful day, in the most colorful and lively part of her pack, her eyes filtered the beauty and saw only gray - her mind was like a wall. It was the first time she had truly left Thornbury after her birth, but the stone walls and streets still lined her mind.

It seemed as though she was powerless, powerless within her own home - the tragedies that had hit, so close together, so hard on each other - the summer was ending, signifying an easier season in the winter, but the pain that swept through the pack still lingered on the streets and paths, on the forests and the fields.

Blood stained the pack, and her own heart - foolishly she had grown close to another, to Jazper. She knew, she had known that nothing more could ever happen between them. She knew that. But for some inexplicable reason, for some foolish reason in her mind, she had still hoped. And now she was alone, alone with her young, while others were still yet together, but without the product of their love. It was cruel.

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#2
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Hotaru had woken up from her well deserved nap to find only two sleeping puppies and no male. Confusion led to a spark of anger as she realized that once again, Levent had left with Aysun to who knows where. The blind female shook her head, cursing her own stupid luck for picking such a stubborn male. Even so, she couldn't really stay mad at him. Levent was doing what he thought was best for the puppies, even if Hotaru didn't agree.


The young mother had noticed an odd behavior in Aysun. She wasn't as active as her brother, but the past day or so that listlessness had increased. Hotaru wasn't sure what the lack of energy meant, and her paranoid mind sent off warning bells. Telling herself that she was being silly and settled her mind by checking on the sleeping Aiden. After deciding that he was a little cold, she covered the nearly moon old pup and set went outside to take a walk.


Rather than have one bird accompany her, Hotaru left Kelia and Fawkes at the house. She always had one watching the pups, and having both watching made the new mother feel better. Skye's scent caught Hotaru's attention as she meandered through the town. Skye had also given birth, and it hadn't ended as tragically as Eclipse's. Hotaru turned, following the trail with a hint of purpose. As Skye's friend and subordinate, it was only proper that Hotaru extended a congratulations to the leader.


At last, when the scent of milk, puppies, and Skye became strong, Hotaru stopped. Skye was close, she knew it. "Skye, do you mind if I join you."


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#3
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It was not long before the scent of one of her packmates grew near - Hotaru. The woman, although not the most sociable in the pack, was one of the most loyal, and one that Skye considered a close friend. She knew that she had had her pups as well, and hoped against hope that things would turn well for them.

"Not at all," Skye said quietly - almost imperceptibly quietly for a canine who had all his senses, but Hotaru, with her heightened sense of hearing, would be able to hear the words. She stroked her pups almost robotically, although the tenderness and softness in her hands and touch was not compromised. She loved the pups, with all her heart - it was a mother's instinct. They wriggled under her touch, let out tiny sound to let her know that they were awakening.

"How are you today, Hotaru?" she asked in an equally quiet voice as she had the first time. Her pups had quieted down a bit, now simply wriggling in her lap, but without aim - they were still so young, and so vulnerable. She would not, could not, fail them.

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#4
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The Maven felt that she and Skye and formed a strong friendship, one that had been carefully crafted and nurtured over the past several months. When Hotaru had first arrived in the pack, she had closed herself off to most of the pack members. Thankfully, in the recent months, the blind female had opened herself up more and while she couldn't be considered the most sociable wolf, she had taken the time to converse with the pack. Hotaru had grown especially close to Skye, viewing the leader wolf as not only a friend, but one who deserved her respect.


Skye's voice was quiet, filled with pain and the weight of her position. Things in d'Arte had never been very good, at least as far as Hotaru knew. From the very moment that she joined the artist pack, it had been one disaster after another. To make matters worse, all of the hard decisions and responsibilities fell on the female's shoulders, a burden that was supposed to be shared by two. Hotaru sat down next to Skye, her face showing some subtle hints of the worry that she felt. Soft squeaks and high pitched whines came from the pups that Hotaru could only assume were close by. Aiden and Aysun made similar noises, although Aysun had not been as active lately. She hadn't been eating as much and moved very little. The new mother was worried, but she pushed the thoughts out of her head to focus on her ailing leader.


"I am as well as to be expected. Aiden and Aysun are handfuls, but nothing that I cannot handle. What of yourself Skye? You sound... distressed?"

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#5
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She knew of Hotaru's pups - healthy, as of now, at least. It was a blessing - a proper mark on the blemish of the health of the pups in d'Arte as of late. Hotaru was among the last people Skye would wish ill on, and she wished nothing but good health and smooth sailing for her and her newfound family - Hotaru truly deserved it.

She smiled as Hotaru described her pups - handfuls, were what they were. Esmeralda and Ares had been better behaved, but it was to be expected, as they were just born. Those who were older.. that was something that may take a bit of getting used to. The smile was fleeting, however, and short-lived - the weight of reality once more crashed down upon Skye, and her countenance reverted to its former, blank state.

"Don't worry about me, Hotaru," Skye said to the high-ranking female; she meant it. She did not mean for her packmates to worry for their alpha. The last time that had happened, with Shaw, things had ended disastrously - without perceived strong leadership, a pack was doomed to fail. She would not allow that to happen with Cercatori d'Arte, not under any circumstances.

"Pups are surely a good sign," she said to the female, stroking Esmeralda behind the ear. Perhaps with all great new things came a certain loss.. the cream leader only hoped that the losses would not remain so great.

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#6
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Skye's voice was quiet and she urged the Maven to forget her worries. However, Hotaru just shook her head. Although she had never been an alpha or lead a pack, Hotaru was sure that Skye was under a lot of pressure. How could she not be? Especially with all that had happened. Eclipse gave birth prematurely, loosing every pup she had. Shawchert had left the pack after the murder of a puppy. Jace had attacked her own pups just before giving birth. To top it all off, the pack was growing to a prodigious size and it all rested on the female's shoulders. "Skye, as your subordinate I follow your leadership and respect your judgements. But as your friend, I worry for you. You are under a lot of stress and there has been perhaps too much drama inside the pack. You deserve to be happy and have some a few hours to rest and relax. If there are any troubles you wish to get off your chest, I would be more than happy to listen. It is the least I could do to repay your kindness."


The conversation turned to puppies and the grey mother couldn't help but smile. Her thoughts turned to Aiden and Aysun. She had to get back to them soon. It was hard to leave their sides for even the most minor of tasks. Her heart clenched and longed for them, but Hotaru knew she should be supportive of Skye. "Yes, puppies are a wonderful sign. What of your own? I'm curious as to what they look like."


Without her eyesight, Hotaru had to rely on other's for a description of her world. She missed the colors and shapes, the simple shades of a leaf or colors of one's fur. She could only see them when her eyes were clothes and she was in the throws of sleep. Even then, the colors of her dreams could never compare to the real thing.


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#7
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Skye bowed her head although she knew that Hotaru could not see the act. Hotaru had always been loyal to the pack, and that Skye valued above all. She trusted the blind woman - she could not see with her eyes, but that made her sight more powerful in other ways. Hotaru was her friend, someone she could trust, and that was something that was rarely said for anyone that Skye knew.

"You are a good friend, Hotaru," she said quietly. "I worry for the pack. I cannot lie. I worry, but I know.. that all will be well, soon." She raised her head, looking out over the immense field of beautiful flowers. "Cercatori d'Arte has survived everything that was thrown at it. With members like you.. Taliesin.. even the newer ones, but who are so hard working; Honrin, Eclipse.. I know that we will survive this as well." This, she firmly believed, even if the stone of her mind would chip away at her soul. Cercatori d'Arte did not have good members. It had the best.

She looked down at her pups once more, as Hotaru asked her question. "Esmeralda is cream, with dark spots on her legs and tail. And her head is red, like mine," she said. "Ares is dark, dark gray, like his.. father.." she said, allowing Hotaru to ask if she wished, "but with cream on his head, and his chest." They were a perfect blend of her and Jazper.

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#8
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At last, Skye opened up her thoughts and worries to Hotaru. The simple act of trust greatly honored the blind female and she listened diligently as her leader spoke. To be treated like a confidant and allowed to hear the worries of her alpha and friend made Hotaru feel like she was really part of the pack. For the past few months, the Maven had been working hard to make sure that she knew everyone in the pack and could be an active member of d'Arte. But hearing Skye's words, hearing her concerns brought about a sense of wholeness that Hotaru hadn't felt in a long time. It was like listening to her mother speak, and offering comfort by just being there.


"Do not exclude yourself in that equation. It is thanks to you that d'Arte has survived, and it is thanks to your leadership that the pack has remained strong. Myself and many others, owe you a debt of gratitude." Although it wasn't Skye that had allowed Hotaru to enter the pack, the female leader had been patient enough to put up with all of her stunts. Hotaru had spent a long time being bitter and angry at the world. She had done a few things that many would frown upon, yet Skye never scolded her or abandoned her like Cain had. The leader had been patient, and Hotaru would never forget Skye's kindness towards her when she needed it most.


The new mother listened enthusiastically as the pups were described. Hotaru could guess who the father was, especially by the description of the pups. They sounded like a blend of both parents, and were a union of two packs. Smiling, she said, "They sound like they are beautiful. I hope that they live to see more moons than you or I."


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#9
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The female smiled then, something rare for her nowadays but there nonetheless. She smiled, glad that Hotaru thought her a good leader. She did confess to herself then that she had been feeling doubts.. that she wasn't as good a leader as Shawchert, or Jazper, or the others that led other packs. She felt that a leader should have no room for doubts - only for protecting the pack. But Hotaru's words brought her a comfort that she hadn't felt in a long time, and she was grateful for it.

"Thank you, Hotaru," she said earnestly. "It means a lot that you think so."

She smiled down at her pups, sad that Hotaru could not see how beautiful they were. "As do I," she said. "Yours as well," she said, turning to Hotaru, pride for the packs' youth in her eyes.

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