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ooc: Form, Optime.Time: 9:00pm.
AWay'sr night by the fire on their trip, he would sit near it and with draw from the satchel bag he brought ( mostly for food purposes) the poorly carved chess board and pieces that he had made. As he laid it out on the ground in front of him, he removed a smaller bag from within and placed each of the pieces out on the board. The white ones, then following it, the red ones which would carry the smell of his own dried blood.More a crusted burgundy now than the pure brilliant crimson they had once been. As each piece was laid down, the last two on either side were the king, and the queen. He now understood the board a little more than he had during its initial design.
He did not look up to see if X'yrin was doing anything, simply because his thoughts were elsewhere. Though like most nights he had not removed himself from her presence to sleep elsewhere. After all, if he removed himself from her, it would indicate that he was bothered by being around her. And that was something that he was trying to erase from his mindset. He stared at the board and placed his first claw on the Red Queen, Thana held that rank for the moment. Though the idea of the woman being Jadens former lover, and being in the same vocational type as him had made him begin to consider the idea of the yellow dog once again. If Jaden had reputation like that then the idea wasn't completely out of the question...his eyes drifted over to the white queen, further taint applied to the piece if it was true.
His eyes drifted to the Red King, there was still no role applied to that piece. However he was beginning to consider that much like the duality between the queen and the knight. Jaden might well represent both sides of the board. Red King and White King. But for now that was something to consider later, to be put on the back burner. His eyes drifted to the white side of the board once again. Before there had only been one rook, but now with his brother back in action there was two. Both on either side of the king and the queen. One of the major issues that he had been having lately was the lack of accountability for the actions of the alphas. If he ever was going to challenge one of them for dominance, he would have an advantage in his brother. However....the king and queen were capable of moving forward, keeping them from harms way in the rooks move.
In which case...he was going to need at least two more pieces, he eyed those that lay directly in front of the king and the queen. Barring their movement, enlisting help....that might be more difficult for him than it was for his brother. However, the pack was still getting off its feet, new members could arrive at anytime....to bring them into his own " faction" would not be difficult. Particularly if they saw the same problems and weaknesses as he, and no doubt his brother did. However, that was when and if and had very little to do with what was required for the moment. The Red Queen would make her move and regardless of what that move was, it would have ripples in times to come ripples that needed to be anticipated. If Jaden truly had been in love with her the effect it might have upon the white, and perhaps red king would depend entirely upon his relationship with the white queen. If X'ies was to throw a wrench in that relationship, or indeed place a sort of crack in its foundations once again, he might be able to manipulate the wave of those ripples a little more.
But then again came the question of self contamination, the white queen was already dangerous enough as it was. Her rejection was required, she had made her choice and he wanted to make sure she was aware of what that choice was, and what the effects of it would be. Self contamination of course, was in reference to the problems he already had in corrupting his true required nature, and the possible contamination of a lesser species she had gotten from Jaden. His claw moved from the Red Queen and was placed firmly on the top of the white, his glazed eyes changed, the fog clearing as an inferno rose up from the pits of his stomach, the piece beginning to shake under the pressure of his claw.
----------------"I know now why my Shepard asked so much of you. Because that bond had already formed...and had I stayed...had I not left you, there is not a doubt that the bond would have transformed us beyond what we are now."
" Then why did you leave, was I so worthless to you? do I remain so worthless?....Why do you always leave me behind!?"
"Do you understand now?"
"I will never understand, you...or your choices..I loathe to think you as a fool, yet are you so blind that you cannot see what is right in front of you?..."
“A bond can run both ways… if it began that way, then it would not cease"
"......You love me....then...why...why did you make me aware of everything?, I lived in blissful ignorance before you brought me into this hell....now...I must fight against this, what I am.....you made me aware of the consequences of your choice, you made me aware of what I was to lose.....our bond....means nothing....it must cease...it must...winter...must come to my mind, and my heart...".
------------------
A small crack formed in the piece of the white queen. Removing his claw from its head his eyes returned to their fogged and hazed complexion. A moment of weakness, the lack of solitude and close proximity to that which he loved and hated in equal measures made it worse. But he would endure. He was Lambda. He would remain stalwart, even if inside the walls of his fortress crumbled as the vast schism between the two continued to grow.
Word Count: 1066.
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ooc:
Alone again as they had been often as children, but there was no joy in this private setting with but the evening to play witness. They had left the sanctuary of home with a purpose; to establish and reconnect. To begin the draft for bridges so that opportunity could benefit and flourish hardily. But it was not all in purpose, but a selfish attempt to reclaim what was lost... or at least damaged.
The night by the firelight were heavy on her mind and the events there after plagued her. Though the teeth encircling her neck were to be worn as a treasure, they felt like a sin... a blatant display of disloyalty to he whom she cared for so deeply. Since that night her mind had been conflicted, warring with what she knew and what she thought she knew. Toying with a reality she did not want to acknowledge but had to account for. And of course, there were her feelings. Her wants...her love...seemingly broken to pieces when she wished it whole so that she could give it to one, not two. The scent emanating from her body only exacerbated her present situation; all sides enraged and fueled with hormones wanting to lead over the other and dominate her actions. An internally wreck within, but simply a picture of thoughtful externally.
The facade was only broken by the muffled sound of splitting wood, pulling both her ears and head toward her travelling companion. He remained close, a tactic of displacement to ensure not to rise suspicion. Misleading for any other, but the Exultare knew her Lambda all too well. With eyes reflecting the glimmer of the firelight, she let her eyes rest upon his muzzle gently contorted in thought. They did not move to speak to her, though she desired them to open to hear his voice. There were no words to expect, only the sound of his voice that she had heard whilst growing. Just the soothing octave that gave her calm and comfort even when to all else his tongue was feared for his lash.
She looked to him with a longing in her eyes she could not yet place a name to but knew its feeling well in her age. It was a look not readily abated and it was one that could not pull her eyes away. "X'ies..." the Nomad Shepard uttered softly to her loved, and cherished friend. "...will you speak to me?"
411 words.
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ooc: Form, Lupus. Sunrise.
Silence was good, silence made it seem as if he was alone. It helped him to block out the other thoughts, helped him concentrate upon the game. Things had shifted on the board, became more complicated. To him now it seemed that there was no longer just a singular board but multiple. The terrible thing about this was that the primary or secondary board was mainly focused on internal conflict whilst the other was based upon another pack. Internal and external conflict were dangerous things when placed together. He had to concentrate on crushing the opposing pack, members of Vinatta. He began to think upon what he had already learned about them, their leadership was short sighted and had somewhat of an isolationist policy. Combined with this policy it would seem they did not teach their children to respect border policy. That could be problematic and advantageous- just as he began to consider this a voice filled with weakness and doubt permeated the air around him.
His ear would twitch, but he would not turn, seemingly too concentrated on the chess board in front of him. But likely X'yrin would know him too well, the concentration on the game was not out of his own thoughts of what would need to happen. But rather it was a distraction to the situation that they now found themselves in. The fact was if he didn't talk she would force him to. The situation that she had placed him in already was in itself a way of forcing him to talk, she was the leader. He the subordinate. To this end, he would reply. " I will speak as you require it, what use do you have of me?". This was the Lambda response to the alpha, not the response of a friend to a friend, or...a lover to a...well...he didn't know how to describe that portion of their relationship.
For the moment, he kept his mind in business. It was a suitable distraction.
Word Count: 340.
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ooc:
Familiarity was foolish to hope for, but as of late she felt she played the part of a fool rather well. His voice was not grating, but the sound no longer soothed her ears when it was received. Rather both ears veered away and laid against her red mane...akin to cowering though they did not shake. What hope was found in her eyes remained though the glimmer of confidence had waned. As an Alpha, a Shepard... she was not to exhibit uncertainty to her subordinate. But as a wolf at risk of losing her friend, she was terrified she was not able to retain the stability of their crippling foundations and bonded friends. Where was she to begin? What could be done to help salvage this? By the tone of her companion's voice, what attempt she came up with would not be easy.
"X'ies please..." she breathed, exhaling her desperation as she again looked to him. The board was a rouse, this she knew. His ears were trained and they would listen. "It is just you and me... like it used to be when we were younger. You know you can talk to me and not address me so formally." Bravely, she extended her hand toward him, pulling herself forward by the action to her knees and began to slow shuffle around the fire. When she was within reach, she paused in front of him, placing a hand upon his leg whilst the other reached for the dark feather still woven in his mane.
"You have never been one to speak like that to me..." the feather twirled around her intruding digit. "There is no reason for you to start now."
282 words.
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ooc: Form, Lupus. Sunrise.
The moment that she touched him, the world seemed to go grey. There are some points in time where its as if everything begins to slow down. For X'ies though this was less of a slow down moment and more of a time completely came to a halt. She was touching his leg, his hair, getting intimiate with him. This was not the intimacy one shared with a friend, this was a prospective mate. And all at once, everything that had been building inside just came to the surfcace. It was like what had happened with the piece on the board. There was just an internal snap.
And...with little to no warning the cold, calculating X'ies Lambda placed both hands on the chess board. Stood, twisting around...and smashed X'yrin in the face with it. He had tried hard,, tried so hard...but now everything was falling into place. Before his feelings had been at contest with his logic. But now that he had time to think and consider since their previous conversation. Both had came into one. Yes, he loved X'yrin and was infected by that emotion. But it ws not just that hurt of being rejcted that left him scarred, was not just that love that made him furious. It was the fact that she was rejecting their genetic right, their predetermined requirement. She was taking years of Nomadic perfection and smuthering it under....normality. Together they had their bond, and through that both his father and hers had seen the potiental for something more. X'yrin had been the result of a breeding between a Lambda and an Exultare, already the fruits of both her intellect and strength were showing. So what if that genetic line could be further purified. What if that power could be further enhanced? The genetic legacy of their forefathers. She spat on it, and she spat on their bond when she chose to take something so...inferior.
The clash would begin seconds after the inital blow. This was nothing more than a stunning blow, he knew if he was to fight her head on without resorting to his foul play then he would lose, as things stood now however he had the advantage. He would charge her, using superior body weight to tackle her to the ground, keeping in memory what he had learned from his lessons as a child WITH her, watching her fight even now. He would use this moment, of he weakness to wrap a single grey clawed hand around her throat, his thumb claw poking into the left side of her neck hovering over the jugular. All around them, the scattered chess pieces lay his fogged eyes gone, burning into hers. "...You wish me to speak?...then listen...you are a fool...a pathetic fool that spits on her ansestors....who spits on what she loves...and I love you...so what does that make me?...a creature worse than such a fool, or one who cannot help but hold on to the facade of what should be? of what SHOULD have been?".On the asusmption of course that the Queen would fight back he would continue the force of pressure down on her neck, displaying his physical potence as of yet untapped. As a final display to get her to sit quietly he would snap at her face with his own fangs, holding little to nothing back...Do you think your alpha would hold you like this curious one?....no, your words would sting him and he would let go like a frighteneed pup, he would roll onto his back...for he is no leader, he is your footstool...but let it be known that I will not be treated like that....and if I must challenge your insignificant lover for his position then I will because no longer can I tolerate to see such weakness leading our pack...no longer can I bare this contamination within you, or within me....Your time is over...decide what you want, or I shall decide for you".
He could not move his hand away, but there was no doubt in his mind now about what needed to happen. This problem had to be solved here, and now. The way he was acting reminded him, and perhaps her of his own father. The man was normally stotic, much like X'ies however he contained inside a cold fury, very rarely seen or released but when it was, it was feared. For unlike X'ies, that man had trained to tap into his physical side, a goal that X'ies wished to complete. A genetic legacy he would fulfill.
Word Count: 758.
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ooc:
Violence was often the answer to the Exultare. Over the slightest dispute or the largest, it was with their honed forms and impressive strength that they found resolve over a multitude of issues. Though it was often among themselves that these perceived barbaric tactics were enforced. Outside with another family was almost unheard of, save when it came to the relationship between a certain pup and the dark furred companion. As adults one would have assumed they had gone beyond that practice, but as time was becoming more proficient in telling, this was not the case.
She would have rather that talked with words, not physically. But as it was no her choice she was forced to endure what came of the brash decision made by her subordinate. As a friend, the blow to her face and actions swiftly followed were nothing short of a shock to her system. But it was instinct that demanded the automatic retaliation response. As the board connected soundly with her face and stars danced before her eyes, she reached out blindly to take hold of the offending muzzle, trusting known movements of force to ensure her grip connected. But her claws fell short, and as a Shepard she was enraged to not only miss her mark, but to have been attacked without provocation. At least...that was what her mind initially believed.
Held down by his weight asserted into her, she was allowed only the movement of her head as she craned in vain to snap at the face hovering over her. Defiance reigned where instinct would have demanded submission, the cultivated mind of the Exultare demanding she fight even when the posture of their stance left little room to do so. Still her anger fueled her, coupled with the smarting pain of her face. X'yrin seethed beneath him with lips peeled back and fangs snapping violently but catching not but air.
She heard little more than the snap of her own teeth, muting all else for the sake of limiting distraction. Her mind centered on escape and nothing else, until the disciplinary bite on her muzzle forced her to still and into silence. Still she seethed but with the maddening cloud dissipating from her eyes to give way to clarity underneath. Her ears came forward then, twitching painfully as they were grated by harsh tones, not really comprehending but hearing until her mind was forced to grasp what was said. And then something new touched her eyes and body was a whole. It forced her heart to race and eyes avert not in submission but in shame. Shame that the predicament had come to this and she had forced the conclusion the pair found themselves playing a part in now.
No different than times before, she did not know where to begin...how to proceed. Time, however was not in her favor. The pressure upon her throat impressed this fact, coupled with the mild deprivation clouding her eyes and forcing them to close. Each breath was a gasp for air, a grasp for clarity. If a decision was what he needed now, she did not have one readily to give. She could not deny his words... none of it. Her Shepard would not have allowed this corruption, this blind acceptance of a feeling she still did not understand. A feeling she arrogantly hoped to harness and spread without consequence. She hadn't thought once to regret exploring beyond the limitations of a bond toward something more until she was made to witness its effects first hand; what would happened it a love was not returned as it was wanted.
And he did love her. Just as she knew he did. As it was plain in his eyes as it had been when they were young, too ignorant to understanding its implications or its consequences. They had delved without knowing... and she had forsaken that.
For this, she would look away in shame and submit, calling attention to her wrong with pathetic whines but little more than that. "I cannot call you wrong..." she managed to breath out, then inhaled sharply again. "Our family would not have tolerated these turn of events. I would have shamed them for accepting love over practicality and tradition. Substituting weakness for strength." Again, she breathed. "But X'ies...you cannot fault him. He is a male ruled by his love and his pursuit of happiness. If you claim to love me...to know what love is, would you not do the same to ensure that happiness or that your love was returned?" This time as she breathed, she raised a hand to take hold of his wrist hoping to relieve a bit of the pressure forced down on her.
"For you...I would. I would act against what I knew was demanded of me. I would go against what was practiced...just as you are doing now."
817 words.
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ooc: Form, Optime
As the seconds passed the inferno that was his rage seemed to burn itself out rather quickly. The lack of her touch on his flesh calmed him somewhat. The expression of how he felt did much the same for him, however X'yrin did nothing to cool the anger that flowed through him, her resistance was in built and he could not falt her for trying. But now as she spoke all she seemed to do was attempt to relive the pressure on her throat that she may speak.But the words that came out of her mouth disgusted him. She was selective in her talk, she avoided the question that he posed in an attempt to misdirect, to buy herself more time to answer, but he would give her no quarry. "...Indeed, a man who is led by love...and such love he has to share!....I assume you know of his former mate?...the female Thana?...". The meeting between Thana and X'ies had been short but he had gotten enough information from the female to form a good enough assessment.
"...From what she told me....she was happily mated to Jaden before he decided to explore additional options with you...fresher meat....but even then it would seem he chose to continue with her whilst...examining you...I had to commend the girl for breaking it off with him after discovering his...betrayal...".
There was a smug feeling to this, Xyrin would be trained to withstand the physical assault, but how would she bare against the mental and emotional barrage of the Lambda? The introductions of doubts, ideas. All of which would tear her heart bit from tender bit. " More interesting though I find that Thanas story sounded all too familiar when it came to the history between her and our alpha...a bond between warriors who share the same skill sets...in fact....she tried to kill me after I mocked her...and her movements were OH so similar to a certain yellow dog we both know...". X'ies would tilt his head and stare into the females eyes. "...I have my suspicions that the yellow dog and Thana shared more than just similar history and skills....". He let out a laugh, one that almost reflected that of his Hyena friend. " I'd say...they've probably shared a bedfellow too". He prepared himself at this point for a violent reaction, he knew that the mention of the yellow dog would stir up the darkness inside of X'yrin as it had before. But the thoughts and implications of what could have happened between her apparant beloved and a creature she deemed to be lower than dirt...well that would send her into a rage that would have rivaled his own.
"....I feel this...contamination for you..this love....it draws me and makes me do these things....this feeling is both new and old...and I can say honestly I have felt this for no other, and in the name of our anseestors..I am unlikely to feel it for anyone else, answer me now!...Do you still deny me?".
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ooc:
There was no immediate escape from this situation. A long time coming and it was here staring her mercilessly in the face with something akin to disgust in his eyes. It pained her, but she could not look away. A Nomad knew when to accept their punishment even when it was a kind they were not used to. The crimes, the embarrassment to a family was dealt within them, hardly outside the eyes of their kin. But this perversion was overlooked now. Regardless of their families, she reacted with the posture of one taking their punishment. Still and shamed, ears forward though they twitched in pain.
She would only look to him when he cursed her beloved and dared speak of Thana. The surprise on her muzzle was too pure to be feigned. True alarm for what she heard...what he sought to poison her ears with. She had known of the love between Jaden and Thana. She had accepted it then just as she had accepted that their love was for the time not meant to be. But she had made herself blind to the extent of that love. In a childlike way, she blanked the reality, the possibilities of copulation from her mind for the sake of her heart and mind. To even hear it implied turned her stomach and contorted her lips to grimace. Like a child fearful of some terrifying thing she closed her eyes as if to will the mental image away. These were just assumptions...not truths. He did not know the relationship shared between herself and Jaden. This was his jealousy talking and she had to believe that.
But the captive did not call her conqueror wrong. Instead she shut her eyes tighter and pressed her ears against her autumn crown, forcing her head away to such an angle that the slightest pressure would steal her away from the merciless world. Though what kept her clinging...what pulled her from the self-made darkness was the recount of the yellow dog. The story that sounded all too familiar. She had silenced her suspicion before, believed it was nothing more than her friend seeking to stir trouble. But hearing this again alongside what was learned of Thana and Jaden... a creeping feeling worked along her spine, seeping into her fur and flesh to touch her heart.
'You dont know this for certain...' words rarely used outside of her own Family were spoken in defiance without her muzzle needing to part. They were sounds joined with the gestures of her face and nothing more. It was doubtful he would understand, but how the vulnerable part of her wished he could 'hear' her to keep her broken spirit from sounding. She could forgive her beloved for his love of Thana...but for the love of a dog. Was she cruel for not believing her love was strong enough to pardon him for that? And if it were true.... Sheer terror shown in her eyes. He had touched her. He had loved her. He had held her in his arms and taken her... perhaps as he had done the dog.
No. He couldn't have. She would have known. She would have smelled it on him. These were the words of a wolf that lied.
But when had she even known for X'ies to? Taunt her, be cruel to her...but never lie. And if these words were true; from this contamination, how was she ever to be clean again? Stained permanently by whom she loved. The disgust was beyond belief that all the Golden Queen could do was smile.
"You would take a bitch contaminated by a male that ruts with dogs...?"
615 words.
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ooc: Form, Optime
Her face, satisfaction filled him. She was filled with pain, pain like hee had been feeling in his silence. Cooped up so that he did not have to face the stark reality of what was going on below the mountain. Though that atisfaction, it did not last long, the calculations in his mind brought him to the inevitable conclusion that he perhaps needed to end all this. " This face, it wasn't the face she showed me when she feared losing me....this...this is the face of her love for Jaden, and the pain of losing him....the pain of his betrayal....is this what I look like?". It was horrible, it was weak, it was pathetic....but overall it was true, honest and brutally painful.
Then her words confirmed to him the fear that had overladden him, confirming what her face told him. Regardless of her thoughts and feelings on this trip, on the nights before. She had culminated her love for Jaden and mated with him. And was perhaps even carrying his seed now. It was now, too late it normally took multiple times to mate, but even if it had only been one. The chance was still there, and not only was she contaminated by a male who mated with dogs. She was contaminated by an inferior specimen. She...she was lost to him. Emptiness filled him as the rage in his eyes faded, returning to the clouded look that had been on them always and before. His ears for a brief moment faced down as his heart slowed from its race, to the drum beat of war.
"...You idiot"
Said blankly, said plainly removing his hand from her throat, standing and backing away from her as if she was contagious. "..I still...love......Even if I did take you now though..., that look on your face...you never had it for me...and you never will......you should stay with your dog rutting mate, I think you've given me my answer...whether you knew it or not".
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ooc:
His insult was generous. Soft in comparison to the obscenities bombarding her mind. But through it, she smiled. Eyes closed embracing the darkness as she was made to feeling the contamination within her. Well enough she knew the change within her body, to adapt the seed of life and begin the process into more. She knew she was without it...void again...empty. Perhaps this time it was for the better. Undoubtedly her mind would not be able to handle impregnation from a male that rutted with dogs. Still she could not get used to the thought... but bringing it to mind only made her smile grow and the sickness in her stomach churn til it rose into her gullet.
When the pressure was gone, she would have been able to rise, but the strength to do so was gone as was the care...the initiative. The first time since leaving her home she felt utterly lost in mind and wanted nothing more than to return and call for her Shepard, her father. And fall into the comfort of his chest. Inhale his scent and hear his comforting words and know that all would be alright. The ancestors would guide her to a resolution that would mask her shame.
How foolish was she to cling to that...
"My Father would call me a fool..." the uttered softly, dispelling that fanciful thought of the contrary. "He would cast me to the Unspoken until I was redeemed...and still he would not look to me as he once did. Nor do I believe you will look at me the same." She laughed softly, but it was an empty and tired sound...void of life...encompassed by pain. "I would not blame you...I've been tainted in a way that shames our ancestors...and it came about without my knowing." From her lain position she turned her head to the night sky, looking deep into the faces of their ancestors though her amber lights were blind and unseeing. "I am bitter they did not guide me away from this defilement. But perhaps it was my punishment for betraying our Family. They are not so forgiving...our forebears."
Within the darkness she sought the branding eyes of the Lambda. "I do not deserve your love...despite my own. Less you risk defiling yourself...and I cannot allow that. Nor can I look at him as I once did without disdain for what he has done to me. What I kept from him for so long...would become the downfall of my body and my soul. The Nomads do not forgive taboos committed even in ignorance. I would not expect you to either...regardless if you loved me...or I loved you."
457 words.
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ooc: Form, Optime
Finally it seemed that the female understood the magnitude of everything that had occured. But this was her lesson, her punishment. And part of him believed that she deserved every single part of it. She looked up into the skies and spoke of the ansestors leading her to this, cursing her for her betrayal of the family." For her betrayal of me" The despair in her voice was clear yet he could not help but take it with a pinch of salt, he imagined that when they returned to the pack the Issum and her would have some fight and then he would give her the big baby eyes and she would forgive all transgressions. But would she forgive such defilement?"...Regardless of what you have done curious one...of what contamination exists within you...it is as you said...I cannot pretend that this will go away...you are wrong to think this is your punishment from the ansestors...this punishment is shared...we both betrayed the family, and now I suffer alongside you".He could not pretend that he found the idea of her being bonded with the alpha disgusting, worse over the concequences of such acts.He approached cautiously and bent down to her level.
"....And now, the vulture circles....picking at the remnants of anothers meal..."
Shame, in his voice, tinted with anger laying just below the surface. "...There are poisons that can remove the...effects...of your contamination upon your body". He referred of course to any pregnancy she might currently be going through. " But we both know it runs deeper than just flesh...For that burden there is only one true salve....Be mine curious one, and we shall bring you back to the glory of the strong.....we shall...love you, even if I must endure your shame".
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ooc:
How did one begin to purge the contamination embedded so deep within? Physically, nothing of it resided within her but emotionally... mentally...it was there forever staining. It was that that forced her eyes away from him and into the darkness of night again. Some comfort could be found in the darkness, but it was not enough to draw her away from the present and into the dream were all was well. Defilement was not easily dismissed.
And it was as he said, it would not go away. The sound of his voice pulled her gaze from the stars to his finding the same pain within them that marred hers. The same consequential light of betrayal as a result of their innocent love at so young an age. She wanted to say to him that he had nothing to suffer for, there was no punishment for him to endure. But she would have been wrong in that regard. They were damned as children, following a course of the heart foreseen by their Shepards and left to flourish in its due time.
A beautifully tainted blossom, this had all become.
"A poison..." she lowered her head and left it veiled beneath the shroud of red. "Kill was is not even there. A means to destroy the contamination if only enough to make the carcass desirable. Is that what you want...Lambda X'ies? Destroy my body to become yours?"
237 words.
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ooc: Form, Optime
The last of her words stirred suspicion within his mind. She claimed that there was no child to purge within her body, yet the fact that she would use his second name in such a manner, as well as pose the threat to her own body as well...almost to disuade him. "....You introduced me to this cold truth called love....had I not known of it...had you left me oblivious to its touch I would not share this pain....I would have continued in child like innocence...". He touched her face gently, though his words and his eyes were hard....In this world of cold reality...in this world where the words between us should be enough to cement truth and guarantee everything....". His hand moved down towards her chin and balanced it there. Staring into her...through her.
"...The guarantee of your love was empty....in this world...I need evidence of truth...void yourself of his seed...regardless of its fruitition...this...is what I ask of you"
Perhaps indeed he was asking too much of her. Perhaps he should have trusted in her more. But there was more to this than just emotion, he knew that females would go to any means to protect their young, and X'yrin...if the family as it was, was anything to go by. Wanted children, perhaps it even was the true reason for her foolishness, her idiocy. A desperation to be a mother. But it was this desperation that he needed to be sure of, "...But if it is asking of you too much, then I am sure..there are others who will care less".
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ooc:
His touch was soft, but it was misleading to the true emotion that resided within his voice. There was anger there the likes her ears had not before beheld. And the disgust lingered on, resonating in her ears, made lowered by the stillness of the night. As if the world had come to a standstill, this cruel, cold world that thrived on complication. On drama and pain. In the silence she could hear the pounding of her heart, the soft exhale of each painful breath as she forced herself to live on through this agony.
His distrust was more painful than the blow to her face, the steely grip upon her neck. It was an emotional pain she had not learned to defend against and was left raw and open to the damage with no salve to remedy the wounds. And he would hurt her still in ways only the young and eager could not understand. Had the ancestors shown her a bit of mercy and blessed her with life, she would have cursed them and all that breathed for setting her with this decision now. She brought her arms to wrap around her empty womb and felt the absence and shuddered. What would she lose but her dignity? What more humiliation would she have to endure to rid herself of contamination?
Pleading for mercy was undeserved but her eyes betrayed her for request. Though she tore her eyes from his and settled to the ground, it was too late. That light had shown; the silent plea voiced when the strength of her own cords left her. Until she came to a conclusion.
"...you are merciless..." she whispered, holding tighter to her barren form. "Had I life within me...you would see it destroyed to ensure there was only my flesh to feast on. ...even when I show no result of...contamination. If only to be convinced that I do not deny you...
"So be it."
326 words.
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ooc: Form, Optime
X'ies would growl as she spoke to him, how quickly things turned once again, she did this but grugingly. "..How quickly you forget foolish woman, it was this defense. this desire for that which does not yet breathe that got you into this mess in the first place!....".X'ies knew that the Nomad rule concerning puppies was that life was precious, it was after all the main reason he had found the female of the warrior pack a perversion, as she patrolled whilst carrying the future of her collective. The Nomads however were a collective, five families who each had differing opinions and view points on just what each rule meant. X'ies full heartedly followed the Lambda interpretation of this teaching. " I am only as merciful as nature requires of me, and more merciful than our family would have been". X'ies believed that life was precious but for that reason its sanctity needed to be preserved. Life was not something created out of a foolish endevor, not something to be rushed because of a desire to bear it. Life was something that needed to be created for the purpose of furthering the pack, furthering the family and giving the next generation the best chance to survive.
But ultimately, she had agreed to it. And he would ensure that she went through with it before mating with her. He would not mate with her whilst the seed of the dog rutter still crusted on her insides. He then took a step in, touching her arm and then had it move down towards her hand. He looked around at the scattered chess pieces with some discontentment in his eyes. " These things are neccisary, but if it would not be too prudent of me...then perhaps you can grant me a true request". His eyes looked to the ground, then back up at her. " Would you sleep with me tonight?...lie with me as we once did in the sun, now in the shade of the moon....I would do it once again...but aware of its meaning...".
Word Count:.
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ooc:
Mercy was a term based on relativity, as were most concepts in this life she was coming to understand. He was merciful in that he was not punishing her as her Family would have, but he was cruel in what he asked of her. Yes, the desire to carry life had brought her to this, but it was love, passionate, complicated, dreadful love that allowed her to depart from her known ways and give in that what she perceived as better.
Necessary, he called these experiences, this pain. This bitterness coming to the surface…the feeling of helplessness…hopelessness. Contamination and seeking redemption. They did not feel necessary, but beyond her world of ignorance, she could see it as such. It was this that she needed to return to herself. Perhaps in due time, she could come to thank him in the soundless way they had communicated as children. But for now, she could not look at him, burdened with shame; a Nomad with its right to be called thus stolen. An Unspoken.
As he touched her arm, she felt her ridge rise in alarm, her body already bracing itself against another attack in the form of recoil… but felt not the lash, but a tender touch along its length til his fingers intertwined with hers. Her mind was in awe, but face dared not reflect it. She listened to him though, turning her head and ears to that she may better hear, then her brows peaked at his request. Of all that he had asked of her, he would request this innocent act. Replay an innocent time in their youth but with the knowledge of what that serene moment had meant. With the terrible things spoken from his mouth, it seemed almost unbelievable that he would ask for something so sweet…so kind.
Limp fingers curled within his grasp, stealing from them the stability she hardly had for herself. “I would do any and all for you,” she whispered, still reluctant to meet his eyes. “I would not deny you this.”
339 words.
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ooc: Form,Optime
She was angry, bitter all these things that he could not understand. But it was perhaps in this obliviousness that she found the means to forgive and accept what he asked. He had no idea just how much his friend had changed since they were young. The world had warped her, she had been clay in its hands from the day she left, and now expecting to see the same shape, he found himself looking at something entirely different. What was it that set them apart, was it that X’ies had stuck to the ways of the nomads even during his travels? Or was it simply that he had not encountered the same problems she had?
Once again he took the change and brought himself back to the familiar form that his friend and he had taken all those years ago. Was it simply a coincidence in this that it was his favored form? Once the change was complete he laid down near the fire, an inviting spot for her to take. Words were not required now, only silence and those things that were unspoken but clear. There were many things now in the future that lay unclear, particularly just what would go on between Sangilak and its neighbor. But for now, for this moment none of that mattered. In the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of two pieces that lay burning in the fire itself. The Queen, and the King. Inwardly the grey wolf thought.
” Checkmate”
Word Count: 276.
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