someday the dream will end

Colibri Haki · 09-10-2012, 04:21 PM

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She is four days from her due date, heheh. x3

Word Count → 505

How much longer could she hold out like this? Coli grimaced, staring unhappily at her newfound girth. She had not been able to see her feet in what felt like seasons now, but her aching ankles reminded her they did still exist somewhere down there. She hadn't ventured to see Saul for another checkup like she'd promised him, and part of it was the shame she couldn't quite own up to -- Saul needed to focus on Lilin and their own upcoming litter, not worry over Coli's bastards. She had no idea how many were inside of her, but she felt so heavy and wide compared to her usual slight self, and lately she could feel them kick and squirm about as they readied themselves for the world outside. She didn't want to meet them yet.

She wasn't ready, and she never would be. It was terrifying to think that she would be a mother any day now. She was going to be terrible at it. Her reunion with Deuce had relieved some of her anxiety, but now the woman was gone, off with her real family again leaving Coli alone. What was she supposed to do with herself these last few days, to distract her from the dread she felt? Lilin had been a great comfort throughout the whole ordeal, but the two sisters also needed time alone to prepare for the inevitable. It was a shame Ezra had left, Coli was really starting to trust him. It was so rare for her to befriend a male, too.

The one thing she had to look forward to was losing the giant awkward belly that made it so difficult to perform her daily rituals. She was kneeling in the communal garden, struggling to balance her clumsy weight as she pulled weeds. The summer heat was fading, and it was no longer necessary for her to carry lake water to the plants, as had been her routine all season. Now she needed to prepare for a chance of frost, which could crop up without much warning in their northern clime. Mulch, or perhaps a canvas tarp, to shield their precious herbs and wildflowers from the chill, keep them safe until spring...

Cream-furred fingers grasped at the base of a stray dandelion, tugging it until it abruptly came loose from the soil it clung to. Coli made a small noise of surprise, lurching backwards as she overbalanced. She fell back onto her haunches, sitting with a bump as her breath escaped in a hiss. Her palms pressed against the dirt, righting herself with a scowl and tossing the offending dandelion over her shoulder. It was ridiculous to try and work like this, but she hated sitting around in her empty home even more. As ungainly and slow as she was, it was better than lazing about and being a burden to her packmates. Her bobtail twitched in annoyance, and she stubbornly grasped another weed, pulling at it with a vigorous growl for emphasis. She was not useless.

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Shiloh Dawnbringer · 09-12-2012, 10:39 AM

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Yaaay! ^^

Word Count → 521

Her lily was withering away.

Shiloh noticed this as she passed by the dirty old mirror she’d rescued from the depths of her home. She paused, frowning, and tilted her head to better see the little flower tucked perfectly behind her ear. It had lost its luster, shriveling slightly and turning from its lovely pink and white hue to something off-yellow and dull.

The young woman sighed, freeing it from her blonde hair and holding it gently in her hands, as if it were an injured bird rather than a dead flower. Her fingertips passed carefully over the dry, wrinkled petals, and she wondered if she might wear it a little longer, to salvage the situation. A young Lykoi woman with eyes like lapis lazuli had worn a flower as beautiful as death as in life—but the melancholy memory crossed over her face like a sad little shadow, and she set the flower on her nightstand. Maybe it was still beautiful, in a depressing way, but she knew she couldn’t pull off a dead lily.

Autumn was coming, bringing winter on its heels, and Shiloh knew it’d be hard to find a replacement for her beloved accessory. She’d wizened up when she was traveling through old human settlements, finding an artificial flower that, while not quite as gorgeous as the real thing, at least wasn’t so easily knocked loose from her hair and would never die. She wasn’t yet ready to admit defeat, though; maybe she could find another flower, perhaps one of a different color this time—maybe a cerulean blue to match her eyes, or a delicate lace white that would be nearly invisible unless one chanced to look.

She smiled at these more optimistic thoughts, and tried to remember where she’d seen flowers in Vinátta. There had been a garden of some sort…yes; she thought she knew where it was. Her tail flickering under the deep pink fabric of her summer dress, she stepped outside into the pleasantly cool day and took a little trip down to the communal gardens she’d spotted but never happened to look closely at.

Her appearance at the garden was heralded by noises of exertion, and her ears flicked forward quickly as she came around the corner to see another she-wolf hard at work, kneeling by the garden and plucking weeds free of the soil. Other than a coffee-and-cream coat, her most distinguishing feature was a swollen stomach, and Shiloh recognized this as pregnancy (and late-term pregnancy) quickly enough. She wasn’t sure whether she was disturbed or gladdened by the sight of that belly, but how she felt about puppies kicking around in tummies was irrelevant to the moment: a pack-mate was in need of assistance.

“Oh, hello,” Shiloh greeted in a sweet coo, striding quickly over to the bobtailed wolf and kneeling beside her; careful to keep as much of her dress off the dirt as possible. “Do you want some help?” she asked, and reached out to pluck a dandelion as she did so—which made it clear enough that the woman’s answer didn’t matter, and she’d be helping anyway.

Colibri Haki · 09-13-2012, 04:50 PM

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<3~~

Word Count → 507

The weed pulled free in a shower of soil, and she snorted in smug satisfaction, pleased that she hadn't fallen over that time. She was starting to get the hang of balancing with all the extra weight around her midsection, but it was still an ungainly process. Coli started at the unfamiliar voice behind her, dropping the plant with a squeak of surprise. She turned in time to see the female swoop to her side, kneeling gracefully beneath the flowing pink fabric of her dress. She was reminded briefly of Lilin, and the Soulstorm heir's fondness for that sort of clothing, but this wolf was pristine and white compared to Lilin's dark fur. The sunlight was gleaming on the soft honey-gold tresses of her mane, highlighting the dominant cream hues that made up her pelt. She was pretty, this unknown packmate, and Coli swallowed nervously as she watched the female reach out and deftly uproot a stray dandelion. How shabby she must look in comparison, with her docked tail, swollen belly, smudges of dirt in her fur from working... What did she want from the likes of Coli?

She realized she was staring, and cleared her throat, finally responding to the saccharine greeting. "H... hello," she stammered, frowning. "You're, uh... new here? You can help if you want, it's a communal garden we all share." She wasn't about to turn away help, but it was embarrassing to admit she needed it. The herb garden had gone a bit neglected these past weeks since both she and Saul had been distracted by looming responsibilities. Everyone was welcome to help out, but as far as she could tell they were the only two who did anything with it.

Coli shuffled a few paces to the left, plucking at some blades of grass that were sprouting near the witch-hazel. As she worked, she stole another glance at the stranger, curiously drawn to her appearance. Her eyes lingered on the woman's necklace, a carved wooden charm of an animal that matched the size and style of the ones Saul and Temeraire wore. She was a Stormbringer then, and someone close to Saul to have earned one of his unique carvings. Coli wore the Frithr pendant he had given her the day they named their pack, but it was no different from any of the other Thor's hammers worn about the village. She was vaguely jealous of their extended family, since she was an outsider save her relation to Lilin.

"You're a Stormbringer, right?" she asked suddenly, tapping her own pendant in reference to the little wooden cat. "You have a lot of family here already." She stared at the ground again, trying not to gape at this packmate. Coli was always exceedingly awkward when it came to meeting new faces. It didn't help that this particular face was a very pretty one. She pursed her lips in annoyance, busying her hands with the task rather than make any more clumsy attempts at conversation. Maybe the wolf would get bored and leave.

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Shiloh Dawnbringer · 09-21-2012, 04:55 PM

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Contagious awkwardness. :o

Word Count → 351

It was clear that she had startled the other woman, and Shiloh tipped her ears back in apology though she didn’t make a big deal out of the other’s reaction; she at least got even more flustered if someone made a big deal out of her own surprise, and so she wasn’t going to pester this coffee-and-cream lady with that. She instead cocked her head at the other’s question and smiled, returning her attention to the weeds as she replied, “I am.” She pushed some blonde hair back from her face and looked at the other. “My name’s Shiloh.”

She continued to work even as the other got up to tend to another area, though she quickly decided that her own lack of conversation was impolite, a great sin when meeting a new person. The bobtailed female picked up on the slack, though, and the white she-wolf took care to dust her hands off before nodding in agreement once again. “I’m Saul’s sister,” she said, glancing over at her quiet pack-mate. “And yeah, a lot of family; I guess I’d feel a little lost, otherwise.” Her shoulders hitched up defensively at this statement before falling again as she started making a pile of the weeds she’d pulled. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to join a pack that didn’t have Saul or one of her other brothers within it; or, she might be able to join and live there, but it would never feel like home like Vinátta would.

“This is a beautiful garden,” Shiloh said after a while, shooting the other a warm smile. “You must be in charge of it.” She let that praise hang in the air before grabbing for another weed; this one’s roots came loose with a clump of dirt that loosened over her lap, and she squeaked indignantly at the shower hitting her dress and white fur. Frustrated with her reaction as much as the situation, she brushed the dirt away violently then flattened her ears, remembering herself and her composure. It looked like she hadn’t grown out of everything she thought she had.

Colibri Haki · 09-25-2012, 06:11 PM

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awkward in-laws! :>

Word Count → 462

Shiloh. Coli had not heard the name mentioned before - she must have joined recently. She supposed Saul had many light shades in his pelt, whites and creams that matched Shiloh's palette. Their relation made sense, and she accepted it with a nod. Her new packmate was smiling politely, and self-consciously Coli smoothed her mane with her fingers, trying to pretend she had not overreacted. She always made a bad first impression, it seemed. She would have offered her palm for a handshake, but she disliked contact and this time she had an excuse, the dandelion in her grasp.

"I'm Colibri Haki, or just Coli. I'm Lilin's sister... uh, on our father's side," she amended. She wasn't a Stormbringer herself, that much should be obvious, despite how drawn she was to their culture and beliefs. "I guess that means we'll soon be aunts together," she remarked offhandedly, assuming Saul would have told his sister that he was expecting a litter. Coli's own pups would be due first, but she would face that challenge only when she had to.

She fell silent, turning her attention to the weeds as Shiloh did the same. A pack with lots of family. Dahlia de Mai had been like that for her; the Sadira and Soul families blending seamlessly together in the form of her father, her aunt, many cousins, even newborn brothers and a sister. Every Dahlian leader had been a relative to Coli. Finding support among them had been such a shock for her, after spending her childhood estranged from all but her father and Cercelee. She was Haku's mistake, and they still accepted her. It had been nice to have a family, for however brief a time it had been. She did feel lonely now and again, missing them. But that was the past, and she shared more solidarity with her packmates here in Vinátta. Of course, she would have her own children soon, as well as nieces and nephews by Lilin -- assuming she survived the birth, which was yet to be seen. As summer faded into fall, it felt as though time were running out.

Chocolate-brown ears perked forward as Shiloh spoke again. Coli turned in time to see her smiling warmly, praise falling easily from her lips. The corner of her mouth tugged, half-smiling despite herself; complimenting the garden was an easy way to stay in Colibri's good graces. "It is coming along nicely... I started it with your brother's help, Saul is good at gardening too. Do you, uh... like flowers? I have more at my house -- y-you okay?" she reacted, startled by Shiloh's knee-jerk reaction to the dirt in her lap. Coli tilted her head quizzically, heart pounding in her chest. Had she been stung by something?

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Shiloh Dawnbringer · 10-01-2012, 08:13 PM

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Word Count → 365

The bobtailed wolf introduced herself as Colibri, and Shiloh nodded although she couldn’t help the flicker of surprise that passed over her face when she mentioned being related to Lilin; it was as if she’d forgotten non-Stormbringer family existed. She guessed that the pair resembled each other in some ways, such as the chocolate of their fur and the blue of their eyes, although the latter was a Stormbringer trait as well. She did decide that, no matter how she might feel about Saul’s mate (that itself being undecided), those feelings would have no bearing on how she saw the Virding’s half-sister.

“Yes, we will,” the white she-wolf agreed brightly. She looked forward to seeing her brother’s puppies once they were born into the world so she might have a hand in raising them, a chance that she’d missed with her bastard nephew. She did love children, even if they tended to be a bit messy—though any child she personally knew would have good manners smacked into them. “Vinátta will have its hands full with all the puppies running about,” she added, glancing at the cream swell of the female’s belly.

Shiloh was glad to see that her compliment had gotten through Colibri’s awkward shell at least a little, although her own attentions had fallen with the dirt. She cleared her throat and continued to brush the dirt away before gracefully hurling the weed into its pile of fallen brothers. “I’m fine!” she chirped, wanting to smack herself but knowing that’d only get her face dirty and probably snowball into a rude departure and dunk in the likely-chilly lake. “And I guess it makes sense Saul would garden for medicinal herbs, at least,” she said, flowing back into the conversation. “But—yes, I love flowers. I actually like to wear one behind my ear, a lily, but it’s gone and wilted and I don’t know where I might find another fresh one close to winter.” She pawed at her hair where the flower perched and looked quizzically at Colibri before grinning. “Maybe we can go check out your flowers, maybe put some in your hair, too—maybe a lovely blue to match your eyes!”

Colibri Haki · 10-05-2012, 04:22 AM

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rawr i am a pregnant lady covered in dirt! fear meeeee. >D

Word Count → 722

It was Shiloh's turn to be surprised, and Coli quietly let the pale wolfess draw her own conclusions. She and Lilin had not known each other before this spring, but even they had recognized the obvious traits they held in common. There was a noticeable age difference, of course, but they did have different mothers... It was not until Shiloh's gaze lowered to curve of her heavy pregnancy that she got especially uncomfortable with the scrutiny, and pretended to be deeply fascinated by the weed she was fidgeting with so that she could avoid eye contact. It was clearly not a condition Coli was proud of, and she found herself silently wishing that there would be no followup questions. She nodded in curt agreement -- they would have quite a few pups born all around the same time, but hopefully the pack could support them all through the colder months. "You arrived at an interesting time," she said simply.

As always, it was easier to talk about horticulture than anything personal. Shiloh's odd reaction to the dirt in her lap was brushed aside, and Coli's anxieties were temporarily lessened. She swallowed before picking up the conversation, soft voice slowly gaining confidence. “Yeah, this is the herb garden, anyone can use it if they need to. All the plants serve a medicinal purpose. I just keep the ornamental ones at my place, I… like the decoration.” Coli was pleased to hear her packmate loved flowers, and wondered if perhaps Shiloh and Saul would garden together. It wouldn't make Coli's work obsolete, would it? The lovely young Stormbringer went on to add her reasons, and Coli tilted her head, considering the time of year. “Ah, r… roses would be the easiest choice this season… Dahlias and sunflowers bloom throughout the autumn as well, but I don’t have any. You could probably find some outside the pack if you really wanted to look.” They were all attractive blossoms, though she had no experience actually wearing them. Perhaps a sunflower would be too cumbersome.

She scratched her nose tip awkwardly, unknowingly smudging it with soil, then added in an undertone, “If your heart is set on a lily, I might have one of my blue-beads… I can’t promise anything though." She had already gifted one of her lilies to Eclipse Soulstorm, then traded a pair to Amy Sunders; she was loathe to part with another of her sentimental favorites, but the gardener also felt the need to share whatever she could with her packmates. In the spring, she could always make another trip to the southern packlands and bring home more of the blue and white lilies and irises she loved.

She blinked owlishly as Shiloh went on to suggest an accessory for Coli, her encouraging grin giving the Hollr pause. The older female had never done much with her appearance: clothes, jewelry, hairstyles, it was all beyond her ken. Her Frithr pendant and the cloak she wore to hide her pregnancy for a time were the only articles she ever owned. She had simple down-to-earth tastes and knew she was plain to look at, brown as mud. They couldn't all be pretty. Admittedly, though, a flower would be something she would like to draw attention to… Coli brushed a strand of mane behind her ear, hesitantly mimicking Shiloh’s gesture as she tried to picture herself with one. Quickly she shook her head, snorting at herself. It was a poor time to develop vanity, with her massive belly hampering everything she did. There wasn't a flower in the world that could distract someone from that.

“I’ll, uh… focus on getting yours first,” she mumbled, wiping the dirt carelessly on her thighs. The task had gone by much more quickly than anticipated, since the two wolves were so efficient. There was not much else they could do today. It took a concerted effort to rise from her kneeling position, wheezing as though the act of standing was comparable to running a circle around Vinátta. "Did you want to walk back to Jordheim with me...? I mean, I can just bring you a flower later if you'd rather..." she muttered, tucking her ears shyly. She did not want to assume that Shiloh wanted to endure her company any longer than she needed to.

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Shiloh Dawnbringer · 10-17-2012, 08:37 AM

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I suck! :C

Word Count → 445

Many expectant mothers beamed when strangers noticed that they were with child, but Colibri didn’t take the obvious route of explaining when her own were due, or how excited she was to have them. That in itself told a lot, and Shiloh could feel her face flush with a fulgurant shame as she made a note to drop the subject.

While reticent on the lives growing in her belly, the coffee-colored woman was more eager to talk about the plants. Shiloh nodded when she explained that the less-useful, “decorative” plants were back at her home and let her blue eyes sweep over the garden again. She recognized a few of them from her brother’s various pursuits, but she’d never been good at telling what a plant was beyond categorizing it as either pretty or not. “I’m glad that the pack has this, anyway,” the Risna said, looking at the herbs one last time before Colibri gave her suggestions on a flower to wear.

“Dahlias,” Shiloh echoed involuntarily. It brought her back, and she found herself wondering, again, what had become of the territory where her first pack had settled. She wondered if anyone else had laid claim to that land, and if she might be able to visit it. Doubtless the scenery would have changed, and her more mature eye would notice different things about the place than the prissy pup did, but none of that would stop the waves of nostalgia from washing over her.

Colibri did mention lilies (after smudging her nose with dirt; wasn’t she aware she was doing that? Shiloh wanted to wipe it off for her) but seemed less certain than with the other plants. “Oh, I don’t mind either way,” the white she-wolf said, gesturing dismissively. She did smile slightly when she noticed her pack mate messing with her mane, though the expression vanished into an innocent look when her gaze returned to her. She did nod, though, and knew sooner or later she’d plant a flower behind Colibri Haki’s ear and shove her into a mirror. While perhaps not conventionally pretty, not in many of the ways Shiloh was used to, she was very cute.

Shiloh rose with considerably less difficulty than the pregnant woman, and she almost reached out to help her (if she weren’t so dirty); in the end, she did stick her elbow out for the other to grab if she needed to. She paused to let the other regain her breath then smiled brightly at the other’s shy question. “Oh, of course, that’s fine!” she encouraged her, tail swaying. “I’d love to see your collection, too,” she added brightly. “Promise I won’t steal anything.”

Colibri Haki · 10-18-2012, 05:13 PM

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Nope you are awesome kthx! =) You can archive once you've read it, or post again, whichever makes you happy~

Word Count → 444

Mercifully Shiloh let the topic slip away, without any further inquiries. Coli bowed her head in silent relief, letting the light-furred Stormbringer lead them to another, more comfortable, subject. "I can tell you what they all do sometime, if you wanted to know how to use them," she added, noticing Shiloh's sweeping gaze and equating it to curiosity. They were all very useful herbs, astringents and antibiotics and analgesics... Except perhaps the raspberry bush and the apple saplings in the back, those were more for fun than anything else. Trade, she told herself firmly, they could trade fruits and jams and seeds. It wasn't just sentimentality, everything needed a purpose here to be shared with the pack.

Dahlia... Coli perked up, but said nothing at first. Was Shiloh making the same nostalgic association Coli was? Come to think of it, Saul said he grew up in Dahlia de Mai, that was when they first met. It stood to reason his littermates would have been with him. "Dahlias grow south of here, where my old pack used to stand. Flander's Field had all sorts of blooms, although I think that is a part of Cercatori now, the pack where Eclipse lives." She shrugged, trying to ignore the remorseful longing that the flower pack inspired in her. She had been so lonely there, and yet whenever she remembered it now, she missed it. She had to keep reminding herself that she was much happier in Vinátta, and that her packmates here had more respect for her. It was better here in the north.

"Erm... actually, I don't mind if you wanted to take a couple plants home with you. If you keep them indoors, they might flower during the winter..." That was assuming Shiloh had windows in her house to let the sunlight in, which Coli did not. Her garden would go into hibernation, the perennials only awakening when spring thawed out the ice and snow and brought them back to life. It was a long time to go without her flowers, and winter always left her rather glum for lack of inspiration. Things would be different this time around, though... she would have puppies come winter. Would they bring her cheer...? She sighed, shuffling off in the eastern direction of Jordheim so that the lovely Shiloh would follow her. She hoped her new packmate would be around a lot in the seasons to come -- she liked Shiloh so far, and she knew how much it meant to Saul to have his family close. Maybe if she plied the younger female with pretty flowers, she would be enticed to stay with them for longer.

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