[M]One Moment at a Time
#1
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WARNING: This thread contains material exceeding the general board rating of PG-13. It may contain very strong language, drug usage, graphic violence, or graphic sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

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ooc: Back-dated for Aug. 30th. Early Evening

Summer's warmth had given away to the coming cool breeze of the following season. Clouds began to gather together, blotting out the radiant sun to shroud the earth under a chilling blanket. With each breath was the promise of something colder. And to a single earthbound form, the shiver coursing down her spine was a tell that her time to breed was nearing its end. And again, there was nothing to show for it. What chance there was had been void days before, an act to purity herself of the defilement done to her for the sake of appeasing her cherished friend. But he no longer seemed like the boy she had loved as a child. This enlightenment to love had changed him, turned him into something darker because still....he did not understand and tried with his might to make of it what he could based on what he readily had available to him. Perhaps he was wrong in his understanding of love. Perhaps she was as well...she did not know. What she knew was only what she was willing to accomplish for the sake of another's happiness. Her redemption be damned.

But in this selfless act was lost the opportunity to fulfill what she desired most of all and what her body commanded of her after remaining barren for an unfair course of time. A pup was all she wanted. It was what brought her into this debacle in the first place. Just a little life of her own to care for that came from her own body. She had given up trying to call this desire out of love for twice now it had left her with nothing and endlessly wanting. Perhaps it was better that she called it a duty to her forebears, or perhaps a means to bridge relations with others as it would have been done for the Nomad Family. She had thought about it, since returning. And favored the idea ever since her insides were purged to nothing.

Mayhap it was another selfish bout coming forth, but it was one born to appease both duty and her want. Now all she needed was to step toward it.

Her steps did not carry her toward the Northeastern border, but to the west along the treacherous face of the mountain. Discretion asked it of her to do so, instead of calling out for her Lambda counterpart. She did not want to raise the curious ear nor create a conflict when one had only just been abated. The woman was utterly tired of fighting the endless battle and just wanted something for herself. And it was in courtesy that she trudged the path upon four, still weakened limbs to speak with her companion and let her intentions be known. As Shepard, the act was not necessary. But as his friend, she felt she owed him at least that. She growled softly for the inhabitant of the mountain to hear then came to rest upon the nearest flat to grant her body the rest it still needed.

509 words.



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#2
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ooc: Form, Secui






It was strange, here now in what he was begining to call home. The two had returned in agreement that they loved one another, she had voided herself X'ies having been witness to the deplorable act. And yet now that they were back, it seemed that the schism between them had not closed entirely. He had not seen her in precious few days, and her time for heat was fast closing. Perhaps she had changed her mind and returned to Jaden after all? For the moment, he was careless. Simply staring down at what was left of his chessboard. The actual board had remained intact, but several of the pieces were missing. He thought it suitable to reflect the ways of things, chaotic. Without clear order. Regardless, X'ies had gotten what he had set out for and this made him content.


Several times he had thought of seeking out the Queen in her chambers and then mounting her there and then. Persue his dominance and sink the seed of supremacy into her core. His eyes locked onto the rook as he stared at it, his own piece perfect in its own way...was changing. Ever since the realisation of what he felt for X'yrin, he had become more ruthless, more aggressive. It simply wasn't like him, whilst normally his attitude was provoking, there was method to it. Now his logic for controlling this aggression and need for dominance was difficult to understand. But there was one thing he knew about it....he liked it. When he had struck X'yrin, when he had held her down to the ground...that had given him pleasure. But what had given him more was when he had stripped away her defenses with his true fangs, his words. He had tortured her, skinned her alive and left her to the salt wind. And then as if his cruelty could not get any more intense. He had taken from her the one thing she had left. Hope. A soft snicker from his muzzle, he had taken from her hope for bearing a child. Regardless of whether that child was born pure and strong or not. He had taken his fathers teachings and used them to his advantage, though he imagined that his father would likely praise him for the act, even if he also scolded him for the reasons behind it.


His eyes skimmed over the rest of the pieces upon the scattered board. The king was gone, and all that was left was the knight piece for Jaden. " King has been stripped of his power...likely by the very Queen he once adored...". Of course, literally he did not expect this to happen, X'yrin would keep the family together, however he imagined that she would be expecting him to take the King. And he would, in time...but it would be on his terms. He imagined that soon Jaden would connect the dots, likely after another attempt on X'yrin brought forth nothing. And when he did, he would come to him and it would bring forth aggression. The tactician would be ready, making sure his pieces were in place so that the knight could be taken with ease. His thought process was broken by a low growl nearby, a grunting sound as if to say 'Get over here'.X'yrin, and likely she was in a mood of either contemplation and sour thought, or was still sick from the purging and wanted to climb the mountain no more.


X'ies would abide her 'request' either way and would move in the direction of the sound. When he found her he would stop momentarily, his golden companion was easy to spot, and yet he would show no excitment as he approached her, his face stone cold as always.Intertwined into his mane were the bits of vulture feathers that she had granted to him, he had recently cleaned giving him a more regal and powerful appearance.However if she had expected from him the same kind of love that she had seen from Jaden, that of an over excited puppy then she would be sorely wrong. As he reached her, he would bring his head down to meet hers, and move slightly across to the side passing her muzzle. A sign of silent affection, words that didn't need to be said. "...Have you aught to ask of me?". Straight to business. X'ies was X'ies, Lambda through and through.


Word Count: 708

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#3
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ooc: Back-dated for Aug. 30th. Early Evening

The female was exhausted in mind rather than body. The strain of climbing the mountain did nothing to her endurance at best, but the slow pace had certainly given her time to think on how she would present this matter to her….her friend? Her lover? Certainly not her mate because the Nomads did not believe in such things. Lovers for the season, yes. But deeply bound souls for the duration of their lives…no. They did not. It was impractical to settle with only one when there were opportunities to birth a great family with the provided genetics. To keep a single bloodline would have been…selfish. They both knew this. But how was she to refer to him now if not the conventional title bequeathed by the wolves of this land? She did not know, and in truth she was too tired to ponder on it. Rather she let her mind wander with hope to the opportunity that could be had through the union of pack leads and the children (she prayed to the Ancestors) that would come from the coupling. But could it be done without contest? To answer this question was why she had climbed the mountain.

Laying with her belly pressed against the cool ground, she waited for the Lambda to approach. Her eyes were closed but senses still stretched around her, feeling the subtle vibrations of the ground as he walked and marked his earthen scent as it drew nearer. His touch was like electricity that jarred her eyes open and forced her to look at him with surprise laden within. Her ears fell back then as he spoke so cordially; the voice of a Lambda instead of that of a lover. Hearing it gave her intentions more merit than before, noting with a heavy heart that despite her sacrifice she was still unworthy of his true affection.

Softly, she sighed. “I have had time to think of the future of our Family,” she began, breathing deeply the mountain air as she tried to regain her strength. “We may not need the aid of others now, but should the time arise, I intend for us to have the loyalty of another. Zalen of New Dawn, he is a capable leader and one worth the consideration of a Shepard. He no longer has a mate or children to carry his name…and… I have favored offering myself as the bearer of his line…as well as my own.” The Issor raised her head, finding courage within her decision to look the Lambda in the eye. “With the season changing, my readiness to receive will end. I…intend to do this before then, so long as he is willing, to begin that alliance that would stand our Family and New Dawn alongside each other. Given…what has happened between-“ again, her ears lowered. “-given what I have done to myself that none but you would know, I felt that you should be informed should any…complication arise. I know that you are sickened by my defilement and have no desire to continue your line with me… but I hope you will continue to serve this Family, and its Shepard during this vulnerable time…should it come to pass.”


533 words.



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#4
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ooc: Form, Secui





X'ies chuckled at the sentiment, honestly chuckling was about all he could do to stop himself breaking out in laughter. Not many a time was it when the Lambda laughed and unfortunatly his sense of humour was not quite what X'yrin would anticipate as normal. She wanted to breed with the leader of New Dawn because he didn't want her, or at least she anticipated that was the reason. The woman assumed far too much, she had purged herself and now that was complete he would be willing to join with her. Though the idea itself he found funny, that she would use herself as a tool to bind relations between two packs because she was too contaminated. He wondered if she had listened to herself at all lately, whilst X'ies had no real information on the leader of New Dawn the first questions he had to ask himself included genetic strength, just how worthwhile would the breeding be? Second just how strong would such an alliance be? If this male from New Dawn was known for sparing mating then he would likely look for a more in depth relationship with the Issor that just simply would not come to be. From that point of view the bond would then be weakened from lack of resiprication. On the other side of the table however if the male was known for spreading his seed far and wide, the bond would be again weakened by the lessened meaning, what was one child out of many?


Regardless of her lack of foresight in this matter. X'ies could see what she was trying to do. And even if he did not agree in the emotional conncection portion, the manipulation of a bloodline from that point of view could be used to guide the male to do things that they wanted. Even if X'yrin was unawares of the chess masters manipulations, he could exploit such a thing for the benefit of the family. " Oh I see, so you wish to mate to cement a relationship with another pack". Totally not an excuse for her to have children, again the inner notes of sarcasm played heavily. "..Well if that is your decision that is acceptable, so long as you have no other motivations in doing so". He was of course refering to her desire to give life, silently reminding her of the trouble that such an urge had gotten her into before. With that he began to walk back to his living area, calling back as he reached it, taking an item in his jaws and dragging it back over.


"...Of course, knowing that you now have intention to mate with another... I assume that my past few days making this for you have been for naught, I did plan to present you with this to declare my desire...though it took slightly longer than I thought, perhaps now knowing this...too long....however I suppose it shall make a suitable blanket for myself during winter".

He would reveal to her the fruits of his labour, the Nomad's Aspect. The mantle of the Shepards. His mating gift to her.


Word Count: 522

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#5
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ooc: Back-dated for Aug. 30th. Early Evening

He was laughing.

A scathing remark. She would have anticipated that instead of laughter, but then again the Lambda had not been acting like himself lately. Secluded rather than prying. Silent instead of letting the hard lash of his tongue grate the ears of his fellow Nomads. Undoubtedly this new understanding of his feelings had led him to this... but to such an extent as he would laugh in the face of his Shepard?

"X'ies please..." the woman's face had contorted into a desperate frown, ears lowered and eyes averted as she again subjected to this humiliation. Perhaps she had become masochistic since his admittance into the pack. Time and time again enduring his wounding treatment...granting him amusement. "You know why I am doing this. If any could see through my intentions it would be you, why else would I have come to you?" Though her pursuit had been noble in her eyes, a means to honor their bond as...something, if it was just a laugh to him, than she could do without it and look to her sacrifice as another means for him to stake his claim over her. The very least she could do was retain her dignity if not her pride.

She had had enough. Despite the protesting ache of her limbs, she pushed against the ground and forced herself to stand. Every second she wasted here was a second lost toward her readiness to breed. As she was given his back, she turned hers in retort taking the first step in descent of the mountain. With ears pulled back to received his words, but did not truly listen until she grasped the muffled sound, indicating there was something in my mouth. She turned then to look at him, humoring his last word as she always did. The tired look in her eyes gaze way to surprise that sparked a bit of life within their dulled hues for but a moment.

The garb was known to the Nomads. Well known to adorn the shoulders of the Shepards in all forms, the main body of it catering to the Family they led. And he had made one...to convey desire. But for what? His desire to lead? She studied the mantle, seeing the main body was that of a bear to represent the tenacity of the Exultare. Her gaze widened as the chill of realization coursed down her spine. His desire for her? "Truly?" Was all she could think to utter immediately, disbelieve apparent in her voice. Her paws led her to face him and draw her closer to the pelt until she felt the coarse hairs of the bear beneath her nose and could still gather the scent of the wild upon it. "This is why you have been absent? You were making this?" 'For me?'


468 words.



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#6
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ooc: Form, Secui





" Pray tell what else you think I was doing?, I had said if you purged yourself I would be with you did I not?...have you known me to spin false truths or to go back on my word?".


X'ies was a manipulative bastard, but rarely was it that he found himself speaking that which was not true. Truth after all was a maliable thing, why lie when you could simply shine another light, another perspective on what was true? Regardless he had always been honest to X'yrin and now standing before her with the gift he had crafted, and what was she telling him other than her desire to mate with another male. Regardless of the reasons, it was rather insulting to him; if the grey wolf hadn't known his childhood friend better it would have been taken as ' You've taken too long, so I'm going elsewhere so they can give me babies'. A scowl formed upon his face, and had he been a lesser man he would have retracted the gift and kept it for himself. But such things were childish, and he kept in mind the reason why he had made it in the first place. "..But yes, I spent my past few days away making this...I killed the animals needed for the pelts...the owl feathers are strung from my own collection, and you will see the feathers of your vulture friend in there as well...If it is not obvious by now, this is my gift to you, to declare my intention to mate. Though it seems like a somewhat pointless venture now, still the season is not over for some. Perhaps there shall be another I can use, like you to strengthen our pack relations". Again, the scowl on his face but it did not last for long.


He would leave her with the gift and trod back up the incline towards his 'usual spot' on the mountain, the very same spot where he had first discovered these emotions. This contamination, this curse. Perhaps he would find another, but would they be as suitable a vessel? Perhaps not.


Word Count: 324

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#7
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ooc: Back-dated for Aug. 30th. Early Evening

When one complication would end, another would take its place. A never ending cycle that made the woman sick to her stomach and want to be done with it all for a moment’s internal peace. What had she expected him to be doing all this time? Certainly not making something for her. Perhaps spending time with the strange African wolf or fashioning the pieces of his chess board. She did not know, nor did she care. She had only the assumptions that were made by the circumstances as they were. He had demanded she purge herself to show her love… and yet he did not come to her knowing her dwindling condition. She believed it was the disgust from the purging that kept him away, not this grand gift that he made for her.

And he would further salt into the wound, daring to say he could find another as the gift was wasted. Her head and ears dropped and tail slumped between her legs. Why…why could he not forgo his hard tone and speak to her as a lover would? Why did he have to bring insult, upon insult, upon hurtful word? Was this the show of his love for her? This…indifference?

“I just came to speak to you, X’ies…that was all.” She looked down at the gift he had left for her, then to his back as he walked toward his earned domain. “…that was all.” Her tore her gaze away from the mantle, then let her form follow into a descent down the mountain façade. Perhaps whomever he took to mate with would see the work spent into the cloak and come to praise him for his skill. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything more, less she risk her words again being used against her. She was tired…so very tired. And sought only the simplicity it seemed the Ancestors would not grant her.

317 words.



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ooc: Form, Secui





X'ies heard her words, to many these things would not be as easily read. But the moment he heard the tone of her voice. X'ies froze still and turned to face her, she was walking down the mountain, her body langague was one that gave the impression that she was tired, but not in the traditional sense. Rather it seemed that she was tired of trying to force water out of a stone. He hesitated for a second as there was a twist in his stomach. On this spot he had discovered just what it meant to have loved. Just what it felt like, and why he had followed this female..why he had come running when she had popped onto his radar again.


The grey wolf turned to follow before he even knew what he was doing. " X'yrin! Wait". Beyond those words he hadn't really thought about what he was going to say next, his practicality once again flown out the window as he was stripped of his defenses. "...I...the....the coat...it was made for you and no other...I...would not have it worn by any other......just as...jus-". His eyes darted from the side to the ground, ears pinned against his head in what would appear to any other as visible fear. "...Just as I would rather not.....have any other...to be with....to...bare my children...". He looked back up at her once more, eyes returning to fog as he found himself again. Strength returning to his voice.


"Will you mate with me?"


Word Count: 299

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#9
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ooc: Back-dated for Aug. 30th. Early Evening

Even when she left in peace, she could not have that exit without a final word. Mentally, she could not take much more of it, but she stopped on his word none the less and again turned to humor the grey male. She said nothing, for there was little more to say on the matter, but it was perhaps a fortunate decision that she did given the weight of the words he had for her.

With voice naked of malice and jumbled, he tried to convey his thoughts but in a haphazard mess that had the Nomad pulling her ears forward in strain to understand. But they relaxed again and desperate expression became that of shock. Consistency. Just a little of it was all she asked for, but when it came to the Lamba it was nigh impossible. Even an expected retreat could not be had without something more to hold her in place. And such a hold he had on her. The very pull of his impassioned eyes and gentle tremble of his voice was enough to keep her listening…and not only that. But surface within him what his hardened exterior at times did well to conceal.

Then just as quickly as it was seen, it vanished from his eyes with but a trace of it lingering within the azure fog. But she was not sad for the loss. Upon her lips was a soft smile birthed by hope; hope that he was not lost to darkness and what she hoped to feel from him was still a very real possibility. He did want her…he did care. If that brief show upon his face was not enough to convey this truth, then she was at a loss to grasp for anything other.

His eyes were fixed upon her once more whilst her own lingered on the paler grey of his muzzle, the whole of her maw drawing nigh as if spellbound, caressing along the corner of his jaw granting him an answer in her own, silent way.

338 words.



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#10
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ooc: Form, Secui

The sound of drumming in his mind the sound of his heartbeat racing away. Thats all he could focus on right now, all he could latch onto to keep himself from falling into the ravine, the schism that had formed between them. She answered his question and drew near, the gap between them closing. And yet even as it did some small part of him willed that it remain open, it warned him that closing this gap would lead to things that would ultimately give nothing but despair. That this was, was a form of defense, a mercy to them both to prevent worse things.


But this part was ignored, and how could it not be for even as a creature of logic. X'ies was bound by internal rules, and as things between them grew to this climax, all thoughts flew out the window as a plathora of new things began to crawl their way into him. He would follow her action, but his was different. His muzzle moving along hers then to the lower portions of her neck, guiding, seeking. Like he was exploring her, learning her. A child looking over something for the first time, for indeed...this was the first time he had ever felt anything like this. It was all new, exciting..and wonderful.

Word Count: 216

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#11
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ooc:

He was more new to this than she, and knowing this her ears were lower not in shame as a whore would for her vast experience for something beyond the purpose of procreation, but in disappointment for herself; that the male before her hadn’t been the first she shared this experience with. And in regret, for had she remained with the Nomads, there would have been him and no other to contest his claim over her. No distraction from their affections toward one another.

There were more pleasant things to let her mind wander on, like the soft, exploring caress trailing down her jaw and into her neck. The warmth that tickled the flesh beneath with every exhale both new and…exciting. The unpleasant ‘what ifs’, the regrets faded to naught, as her mind was set adrift within the gentle rolling waves of ecstasy and was pulled further from the civilized shores into the vast seas of the wild and instinct.

Curving her head down, the female very sweetly licked the side of the grey’s muzzle then parted her jaws to take him very lightly by the maw in a little tug to lead him as she stepped forward towards his abode. Surely her gesture would convey her anticipation, but even then some sense remained to retain an air of calm, so that she would recall the precious mantle and take it from the ground before fully departing into the Lambda’s secluded refuge.

242 words.



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#12
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ooc: Form, Secui

There was disgust in the back of his mind for everything that was about to take place. Love itself was an object of disdain, not something that he wanted to experience. But there was little choice in it for him, as he gazed upon the golden female, brought her scent into his nostrils. All he could think of were the line of those who came before, the men who had used her. Used this, receptical. His eyes looked up at hers, clouded in the fog of his own thought, for her this might indicate a moment of hesitation for what was to happen. And perhaps it was, he began to wonder about her, and about just what she actually knew about love. He broke his stare, circling around her in a similar way, keeping close his muzzle brushing against her fur and flesh, a prodding that held the care of a mother holding her child, but kept the affection of a surgeon preparing to slice open his patient.


He knew what he held for her was love, it was an invisible obsession that had spanned his near five years of life. A loyalty alien to the grey wolf, one that he knew for none other save himself. That was his love, honor to this one even if she had abandoned him, left him. Forsaken him. He remembered her crying in the lake, he had held her that day and felt the maggots crawling up his chest, love. She had spoken of it, but he began to wonder if he was the only one on that day who had actually felt it. X'ies was an expert in words, he knew more than many their power, their meaning. Most of all though he knew that certain words, without action to back them were hollow. He reached her back and stopped, looking at where he was supposed to go. Silent. Wondering. X'yrin used the word love, yet how many times had she used it? Had she used it so much that it had lost its meaning? Did she even know what love actually was?


As he raised himself up, bringing himself onto his hind legs briefly, and mounting her. He felt a great sadness spread through him. This moment, it was one that was supposed to be special, at least if the term love was to be used. In the Nomadic culture it was little more than an act of reproduction, and he tried to keep that thought in his mind even as the feelings burned through him like the sky of the autumn evening. How many times had she said it? To how many? Just what actions had she committed in truth to fill her hollow words? She had told him her feelings, then forsaught him and mated with Jaden, only to give him up when she discovered the dishonor attached to him. She had purged herself, but had said that she was empty, the act whilst cleansing in body, meant little in soul. She had abandoned him. And in some ways....even now as he thrust into her, completing the act of entry. The lack of resistance her body gave only served as a stark and final reminder.


Her words were as hollow as he wished his heart could be. He remained abandoned.

Word Count:578

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#13
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ooc:

The bonds that tethered them together were tested within the seclusion of his domain. She had called herself one that would do anything for he whom she loved, but to what extent had yet to be defined. The Issum still knew nothing of her anger or the Family as a while. Only the grey would and her entangled in the complicated web spun by the Ancestors with Fate intervening. Knowing this…readying herself like this…could this count as a betrayal against the love she strove for? Did that kind of love even matter any longer? …did she even know what love was? Had she truly felt what was long ago described to her?

The air was still with a pause as the muffled approaching claws against the ground were momentarily silenced. Then a weight dropped against her backside, lacking the sweetness, the finesse of a lover claiming what was his. The entry was void of the garnish of endearing touches or words, just a dry, effortless slip into the moistened orifice. There was purpose, and that was all. In the moment that should have brought her happiness…them happiness, a blatant sadness touched the female’s face, drawing her ears back and lowering her head in undeniable submission. The Shepard had already fallen far in consequence to her actions…what was another demeaning step if only to spark some life into him. She would not beg him to reciprocate. It was not who the Lambda was. The Family were cold, calculating, logical in all things. It should not have surprised her despite his confession that t same behavior would be maintained turning mating.

Within her pitiful stance, she braced her weakened legs against the ground, letting her claws grab to the soft parts of the ground as an anchor whilst the rough pads applied friction to hold her still. So enthralled in the moments before, she hadn’t thought what went into the act of mating…only the physical bond that formed, that touch of another, the overwhelming pleasure. Without that now, she perceived only the physical, the actions that went into keeping her steady. It was…dull…but purposefully. Nothing glorious about it.

356 words.



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#14
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ooc: Form, Secui

The Lambda would always think, such a thing was an integral part of his being and to take that away was to take out a large chunk of who he was. But thoughts always developed, branched, very rarely did they ever stay in one spot, and this was the line of thinking that led the Lambda to his next point, a point of forgiveness for X’yrin and her actions. Things were in constant flux, things changed who could say what was to happen tomorrow when even the events of the past were uncertain to all but those individuals performing their actions and roles. In truth, he would not be able to know if what X’yrin said was true. But for now all the grey wolf could do would be to know himself just what he felt, and express it the best way he knew how.


In his family, more so than other Nomads, emotion was something repressed. For X’ies he thought that this occurred when they were taught the actions of physical and mental torture, Taught to see pain to such an extent that it reduced their ability to feel, lessened the blow of psychological shock. So when he fully embraced what X’yrin had told him was love, this feeling of absolute magnetism. He would become caring, something thought not possible, at least for one like him. The submission of X’yrin and he movements, he had noticed them and did his best to comfort her, bringing his head upwards towards her, at first not moving himself beyond this action. Staying still even as the two were together. He positioned himself on her in a way that his head was rested just at the base of her neck, his chest against the flat of her back, so that upon his chest he could feel her heart, and upon her back…she would feel his.


This moment of bliss complete, he would lick the spot where he lay, and began to move inside of her. ”I do not know what there will be in the future for any of us…but…I will be there with you X’yrin..”, A moment of bliss as his lip twitched, the closest to a smile the Lambda would get. “..As I always should have been”

Word Count:438

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