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She shivered as the screams sounded again. It was like she was trapped in a world where a brainwashing company was too cheap to buy several tapes, so the victims saw the very same images hundreds of times each day. She replayed it, each time crystal clear as if she was there yet again; she must have been raped five thousand times since the actual violation. Every muscle in her body spasmed as she shuddered and curled tighter into a ball, her bushy tail pressing hard against her hindquarters as she hid her head between her forelimbs and her chest. Why her? What had Andrezej wanted with her specifically? His goal had not seemed to be just to rape any female he came across. It had definitely been here who had been chosen.
She moaned quietly as she unfurled. Sleep still wasn't coming to her; she felt like she had boundless energy but was tied down by the knowledge that going too far by herself might coax him out of the shadows for another round. Talitha shivered again as she thought of him hiding in waiting for her, and he stood up slowly and dragged herself away from her circle drawn in the sand. Her father was usually around, keeping a watchful eye on her — what would have happened to her poor dad if Andre had killed her? — but all she felt when he was around was guilt. If she had never gone to Dahlia de Mai and got captured, there was a chance it never would have happened and she wouldn't have had to worry Gabriel so badly.
She moved, but she moved like a dead body animated. Her feet dragged through the sand and her head hunched down helplessly. She looked as if she could collapse in any second, and it was likely that she would if she went too far. Fatigue and hunger were getting to her, but she couldn't force herself to eat and she absolutely could not sleep soundly at all. [/html]
[html]  ooc: Whether Squirk is visible is up to you. Sometimes it just seems like Sirius is talking to himself
He wasn't sure which place to pick, so he hadn't decided on a permanent sleeping place. Each night he had ended up in a different part of the territory, so he had made a small bed for himself and slept there. In Shadowed Sun he had always stayed with his father, but he was learning to get along without him. What Sirius had wanted to begin with was more independence and freedom, and to learn more about himself and the coyotes. He'd only been out of the den for two months, and he'd already lived in two different packs...and now this clan.
Anselm had been bringing him food, something that he was both grateful and embarrassed about. He ought to be able to catch something on his own. For his age, Sirius was only around the size of a large housecat. He'd tried catching chipmunks before, but never squirrels. He got the impression that Squirk wouldn't like it if he brought one of those back with him...his ghost companion took that shape most of the time, the shape of a squirrel.
Apple-green eyes observed the surroundings as he padded through a new portion of the territory. He hadn't come across anyone else since seeing the creature at the borders, something that he found a little odd. There had to be more coyotes around somewhere. If he couldn't find anyone, he would start toward Shadowed Sun. Anselm had said that he had to go back and tell his father where he was living now, so that he didn't come looking for him. Sirius didn't think Pilot would do something like that; he had another son, after all. Why worry so much about Sirius?
The young male padded slowly through the sand, his companion seated upon his shoulder. He always felt a lot braver when Squirk was with him.
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Her head lifted up a little bit to see the young coyote — obviously younger than her but not by a tonne — but the desire to acknowledge him was almost nonexistent. She mentally shook herself, sending spots of colour through her memory that ate away at Andre's face and eliminated the horrible images, and her tail gave a swipe at the air. All four paws moved in tandem and she slowly made her way over to him, lowering herself more and more as she got close until she was practically on her belly right in front of him. What if he tried to rape her like Andre had? She swallowed her fear and looked up at the chest of the coyote.
His copper fur caught and held the sunlight as she stared up at him from her fallen position, and her red eyes had only the slightest light of curiosity. Who was this kid? Her nose reached feebly for his chest, but she stopped herself short, looking further. The bottom of his muzzle didn't seem as slender as it should be, as if he was more than just any old coyote. Talitha's head lowered itself back onto her feet as she waited for him to walk over her and move on, or violate her, or do whatever a coyote faced with what could have past as a begging dog would do.
She may have been Gabriel's daughter, and may have once demanded and commanded attention with a sharp eye, but she was nothing more than a broken baby in a shattered cradle now. She had to pick up her pieces, but how, she couldn't say. And she was waiting for a response, any kind of response, from this other child.
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From what Anselm had said, life in Inferni would be rough. He'd been preparing himself for that. Sirius was already used to being by himself, as he'd left his first pack only a few weeks after leaving the den...but this place was so different from every other area he'd lived in before. He wasn't in his element. Sirius knew next to nothing about coyotes and hybrids, though he knew that he had some coyote in him. He hadn't really been around anyone who liked coyotes, either...so it would have been awkward to ask.
The young hybrid raised an eyebrow at the behaviour of the female in front of him, taking an unsteady step backwards. What was she doing? He'd never seen someone act this way before. "Are you's sick?" He demanded. Maybe there was something wrong with her--maybe she had a stomach ache or something. His father had always given him herbs whenever he'd gotten sick...but he didn't have any with him. "You're weird."
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For half a moment, she was hopeful; his green eyes had fell upon her. He was acknowledging her presence, and without hostility or ill intent. As much as Talitha wanted to stand up and be strong and take charge like she always would, she merely gave a very, very hopeless little smile that winked out of existence the moment he stepped back. From there it was another two blows, one to lower her eyes and one to lower her head and her ears. You're weird. You're weird. You're weird. Are you's sick? You're weird. Sick. Weird. She trembled a little; was this what life was gonna be like? She, being afraid of the judgment of another being simply because he had shown promise in not being a bad man?
I'm not weird, she muttered defiantly into her feet, but fighting spirit was sorely lacking. Her overly submissive posture was not one to be ignored but, as he had moved back, so too did she shuffled backward over the shrubby grass and the buried sand to be a good distance away. Once there, she stood a little, but the shaking was obvious and she probably looked more like a beggar than the daughter of Inferni's king. She had certainly always been pretty bad at playing the role of princess, following an ideal lifestyle of yearning to be a guardian with the slightest newly sparked interest in instruments, but not quite as bad as she was now that she didn't look like a princess.
I'm not, she quietly assured him, despite her eyes screaming out that she was far from okay.
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He didn't understand what was going on. He'd never seen someone act this way, and didn't know the reasons behind what Talitha was doing. She seemed kind of pathetic to him, the way she backed away from him. He'd only gone back because he had thought she was sick...he didn't want to get whatever it was. But she wasn't sick? Then why did she want to back up from him? He wasn't that bad a guy. And now she was shaking, too. What the heck had he done?
Whatever it was, he wanted to make it better. But what medicine was there that could help someone who was shaky? Maybe she was shaking because she was cold. "You look funny, too." He stated when he realized it, making a motion toward himself. He looked different, and so did she. Neither of them were full coyote, but both were living in these strange lands. "You's cold? I has some furs in the den...I can get them for you?"
She looked scared, even more scared than he was. But she smelled strongly of Inferni...she wasn't new. Sirius came a little closer again, but slowly. He didn't want her running away again before he could help her. "I am sorries that I maked you afraid or cold. I is not having a place to sleep, and I is looking for one...I did not see you at first."
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It wasn't your fault, she said quietly, standing only a little bit taller. Normal Talitha would have happily grabbed the situation by the tail and faced it with fists balled up, but Raped Talitha was unable to compose herself long enough to even sound fiery like she normally would. She wasn't cold, and so she refused his offer with a shake of her head. Gabriel probably would've been disappointed in his daughter, knowing she was so unresponsive to another kid to have fun with, but the circumstances excused her lack of motivation completely. His words would once have offended her, and also once may have provoked a lecture, but now she simply nodded. She supposed, compared to most coyotes, she did look pretty odd.
Oh... C-can I help you look? She needed to do something productive. Something to get her mind off those groans and that cackling and snarling and the fists that had pounded relentlessly into her. She needed an escape, and Sirius was about to help her create that escape, if he would invite her company in his search. If not, she would go back to reliving the torment and hoping it disappeared of its own accord eventually.
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"You can comes with me. I has to find a place farther away from the other wolfs...Squirk doesn't like them" His ghost companion was usually hovering somewhere around him, but today the creature was off doing other things. Sirius had been afraid of Squirk when he'd first met him, but after time had realized that the apparition wouldn't harm him. Now he was so used to having him there with him that it was odd for Squirk to not be around.
Most wolves couldn't see his companion, but Sirius knew that it was possible. He'd seen other woodland creatures look straight at the squirrel. "I am...hungry first. Needing eats. You knows of a good place to find food?" She was older than him, so maybe she'd seen something around.
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This distraction was good; it was working. She even managed to look quizzical when the name "Squirk" was tossed in her direction, and she caught it deftly and turned it over her mind before looking to him for the answers she sought. She couldn't see anybody else with them, but maybe Squirk was his brother or something that he needed to protect. Or maybe Squirk was an inanimate object, a pet rock or something akin to it. In any case, it would probably be rude to ask who he was, in case he was some kind of imaginary friend that Talitha was unable to see (she was guilty of having had an imaginary friend in Dahlia de Mai that had disappeared by the time Andrezej was done with her) and therefore a perfect opportunity for offense to be taken. Okay, she said, opting for the more neutral answer that revealed nothing.
As for a good place to find food, well, one could argue that Inferni wasn't the best of places for food. Coyotes lived off of things from the sea and sometimes they stole. A lot of times, they hunted in the forest, and that was the exact direction in which she turned. The animals like the trees more. It was probably an amazing change on her part; she didn't sound broken anymore, at least not for the moment. She sounded as if purpose flooded her at all angles, as if God was leading her properly once more and wasn't letting the Devil penetrate her paper thing defenses. She smiled a little at Sirius, speaking softly as she did: We need to get to the forest before we'll find more than mice.
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[html] ooc: After this we should totally have another thread where she meets Squirk. o.o
He was excited about the prospect of finding food. Now that he had admitted to his hunger it welled up even more, distracting him for a few moments. Animals liked trees better? That made sense...because he liked the trees too. Sirius looked to the area that she was referring to, beginning to walk toward it. With her help, they'd be able to find something really fast, he hoped. And then they could look for someplace for him to stay.
A thought occurred to him as they walked. She had to have a sleeping place, right? "Where do you live at? Does you live in the caves? They is strange and dark...and I isn't liking them much" He scanned the forest around them, looking for any sign of movement. Maybe they could catch some rabbits, or something.
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The "strange and dark" caves were something like anything out of her dreams; they were comfort to her. She stayed with her father in them, and soon would be joined by her mother, but that was yet to be foretold. It was yet even to occur. She didn't really consider the question for long, but took her time in responding simply because a green bug that looked a bit like a leaf had caught her attention, shuffling easily over a fallen branch and stopping when Sirius' shadow fell over it. She was mildly intrigued by the way it became stalk still, and she almost could have giggled, if she could remember how to laugh. The screams in her head were mostly silenced, and while she knew it was temporary, she was more than glad for the time away from it all.
My dad and I stay in the caves, she said quietly. If it wasn't obvious who her father was, that was okay; she would more than happily tell anyone who asked if they weren't unusually suspicious. Anyone, that was, excluding male wolves. But Sirius was not a male wolf, and must have had some coyote blood, or else he would not live amongst the Inferni members. He smelled like two different things, like Gabriel and like somewhere farther away, but she couldn't place it. Her distinct lack of taste for travel certainly kept her cooped up in the general area of Inferni. The furthest she had gone was Dahlia de Mai, and that had neither gone over well nor been simply because she felt like going somewhere else.
If you don't want to live in the caves, I could help you dig a den in the forest or... Or... Something. She still couldn't believe she'd opened up easily to him, but without Andre's face in her head she could unwind a little. It would get worse, but she didn't quite know that yet, either.
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"Oh" He said shortly. Sirius wondered for a moment if he'd offended her, but she didn't say anything else about it. Maybe she didn't like talking about her father...that's why she hadn't offered any more information after her first statement. "My father lives in Shadowed Sun, and my brother lives in Twilight Vale. I's never meeted my mom, but my gramma Deuce is in Phoenix...something. A newer pack."
He looked around the forest, lifting his nose to sniff at the air. "I think I smell rabbits nearby? I'm not sure. And yes! That sounds like fun to me, if you wouldn't mind doing it. We can find a spot here today and maybe you can come back to visit me and we can dig?"
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I don't know any of those places, she admitted. It was absolutely perfect; she didn't explore and her dad said wolves were to be treated like the enemy if they acted at all slightly hostile, even if that hostility was the product of just any old bad day. She hadn't really gone anywhere but Inferni and Dahlia de Mai and surrounding area in a long time, since they had first crossed over the mountain, save for wherever it was they had fled to. Shadowed Sun sounded interesting, and she decided she'd go see that when she got a chance to. Twilight Vale had a more eerie name than anything else, and so she decided that was a place she didn't really want to visit. Either way, she probably would never actually make her way out to either pack. She preferred to be static in Inferni and to not have to sleep alone without a companion.
Oh, of course I'll come help. Anything to help someone she didn't know, and it was also a good way to make her stop thinking about Andrezej. Someone who didn't know what had occurred who had access to her mind might have thought she was absolutely obsessed with him, maybe madly in love with him and wishing she could have sex with him. That was kind of how her thoughts went, but it was the exact opposite; reading one's mind had nothing to do with the emotions, so it would bring about a lot of confusion if mind readers did exist.
She smelled the rabbits too, at that moment, and nodded. Her toes tensed a little as she moved in the direction the scents were coming from, unable to properly judge how far or how close they were. Therefore she moved slowly, hoping not to stir them up and cause them to flee before their reaction time caught up to... Well, the reaction. The chthonic scent of their blood in their veins, both sickening and sweet, was too easy to detect, but how close were they really?
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