[html] Maybe Rachias wanted to believe that Gabriel had come in to do something horrid to her father, it was easy for her to imagine, though she felt the need to have the justification to think that. He had already been the cause of losing one brother, at least in her mind, and soon it would be another, and now perhaps her father also. The young woman frowned at her father's words, the lack of an answer that he was able to give her, but she didn't blame him either. "Gabriel was here to see Jasper." She spoke quietly, hesitant. She didn't want the mention of him to send her father in to another panic, but she also didn't want him believing that some kind of angel or demon had arrived just for him. It would only make things worse.
"No, I don't." She stated firmly, as straight as she could, hiding the fear that he just might die down within the pits of her stomach. The last thing that they needed was him worrying about whether or not he was going to die. "I'm not going to let you." She wished she the power to control that. She wished that she could say those words with any ounce of truth. The sad fact was, Rachias was still unsure whether or not any of them would make it. "When you get better we're going to be safe and happy and all of your friends will come to see you and be happy that you're okay." She wanted him to believe it, wanted to believe it herself, but even now she wondered whether or not he would show the same closeness to her when he was well, if he got well, that he was showing now.
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There it was again. No one would let him die. Not God, not the devil, not the cackling in his head or the coyote on the beach or the glass in the empty house, not the woman who's son he'd killed, not the man who'd fathered the same son. And not this girl. He wanted to laugh but couldn't; he could see the other grinning etched on the insides of his skull though. It was not mercy. It was not love. He didn't know what it was. A shirking of responsibility perhaps; why couldn't they see that he would only live to hurt more people? That wasn't really living at all. I don't have any friends, he told her quietly, I've hurt them all. I don't want them to come see me. Unless, of course, it was to stick a knife in him, once and for all. The only touch he deserved was the touch to kill. He swallowed again. It was the same with this girl, wasn't it?
Is Jasper okay? he wondered. Gabriel's name did not register at first. He had not seen the man in a long time, though vaguely he remembered that the dog-like hybrid had promised to kill him if he ever returned to Inferni. He had no reason to now, but perhaps he should go, just to see if he would make good on his words. Laruku gave a slow and weary smile and, with some effort, raised the hand with the broken wrist to point at the scar on the right side of his face. Gabriel gave me this, he said, only aiming to be informative. He then lowered the throbbing hand and held it at his stomach, where there was another scar. And this, he added. I deserved it though. Probably. He didn't really remember when it happened. He hadn't been himself.
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[html] Rachias didn't know whether to belive him or not. She knew that he had friends, they came and went, checking on him now and again, even the strange boy who seemed to have caused such a ruckus that day. Did he really not want them here though? "You do, even if you won't admit it." She told him quietly, finally removing enough of the blood that she was satisfied. It was as far as she would push it though, she didn't want to cause more grief. The girl turned away a moment, tossing the bloody rag to the side, by the door so that she could dispose of it at some other time. While she was turned, eyes tracing the closed door, hesitant words slipped out. "Do you want me here, Papa?" It was a question that she wasn't sure that she wanted the answer to. Even worse, it was a question that possibly couldn't be answered until he was better, at least not truthfully.
Turning back quickly, hoping that somehow the words had simply passed him by, she answered. "He's not gotten much worse." She informed him, dropping back to her knees fully and leaning toward him some. "He talks a lot in his sleep, most of the time he cries for his mother, but he doesn't wake up much." Honestly, she didn't know if him not waking up was a good thing or a bad one. Rachias frowned then, reaching carefully for the hand that pointed out old wounds, aiming to take it in her own and steady it. "Well.. I think Gabriel deserves a few of those of his own." There was anger in her voice then, quiet and held back slightly, but there was also truth. "I can wrap up your hand for you, but that will only do for a little bit." She really wished that she could do more. "Is it okay if I ask Corona to come in a take care of it later?"
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Ahren was perhaps the only person he had ever really considered a friend. Even Tsunami had been a lover before he had been a friend. Everyone else had had a different sort of title -- they had been packmates, or they had been relatives, distant and unreal. They had been passing acquaintances; they had been other pack leaders. Perhaps Satin had been a friend. Perhaps Ophelia as well. But they were gone. Probably dead. Who else was there? Iskata? A relative. Melisande. A relative. He did not want to see them. They had only ever offered him worry and pity, concern he didn't deserve, and he didn't want that. He wasn't important enough for their time, never had been. Laruku had no friends, except maybe the man next door, just as sick as he. But he didn't know if he wanted to see him either.
I don't want you to be lonely, the hybrid told his daughter, But you deserve better than me. His head buzzed, and someone laugh. (Your guilt-trip doesn't make you a better person.) He nodded vaguely at the update on Jasper. He couldn't remember if he knew what had happened to or with his mother. The weary hybrid did not respond to Rachias's assertion concerning her half-brother. Laruku didn't know what he thought of Gabriel anymore. Beyond anything else, he was grateful that the man had taken care of his misbegotten litter. Okay, he sighed quietly and reached his hand towards her.
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[html] "I don't really think there is anyone better." She told him quietly, keeping a happy sort of tone to her words. She knew he wouldn't accept them though, or at the very least he would concede defeat and let them slide. He never really seemed to like hearing good things about himself. "And even if there were, I would rather have your company any day." The truth was, Rachias had been lonely for quite a long time now, though she took the blame for most of that. Since the fire, she had spent all of her time wondering about Arkham, looking for him and worrying about him, when she could have been spending that time with her father, who was making her feel less and less alone, despite is sickly state.
Rachias smiled faintly as he held out his hand to her, taking it gently in one while the other moved to her side, rummaging through the pile of random objects there, things that seemed to have been gathered to help take care of the two of them. The most sturdy thing available seemed to be a thick old towel, which the girl immediately grabbed from the pile. She brought it to his hand, resting it over his wrist, using one finger to hold it there while the rest worked the other sides around, wrapping it up snugly. She released his hand then, slowly lowering hers, to leave it hanging in the towel, speaking again as she began to tie it up at the very top. "Do you miss Arkham?" She asked him quietly, having a hard time keeping the sadness from seeping in to her words.
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Belief was a funny thing sometimes. Even though he didn't believe her words, he wasn't sure whether or not she believed them herself, or whether she was, like so many others, lying for his sake. But he supposed he was grateful -- if he couldn't die now, then at least there was something that seemed to be keeping him sane. Her voice was soft, but it was something to hold onto in the blinding emptiness. If he could focus on it, then it was easier to ignore everything else (but I'll always be here, baby). Nevertheless, Laruku hoped that she would be able to find other people to care for who also cared about her. Maybe he was cursed to live forever. Maybe not. But he knew he wouldn't always be able to be there for her (not with me around, huh?).
He curled his hand back towards his chest when Rachias had finished wrapping it; he could feel the throbbing against the wrappings, but it didn't seem as important as the question posed. I don't know, he answered truthfully, I never knew him very well. It was pathetic, he knew, for a man to not know his own children, regardless of the excuses he'd had. I think he was afraid of me. He flattened his ears and sighed quietly. He was a good kid, though. I know he was a good brother to you. I'm sorry, hung on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it, knowing that it wasn't what she wanted to hear. In the back of his mind, he wondered where the other brother was, and whether anyone had put him out of his misery yet.
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[html] Rachias placed her hands carefully in her lap, watching him for a few silent moments. She didn't know of anything more that she could do to ease his pain, aside from letting Corona know about his wrist. It was possible that she could give him something to make it hurt less, but Rachias didn't really want to think about that. She didn't want to imagine how the sickness alone was making him feel. Blue eyes ran across his form as he lay in front of her, frowning to herself. She wanted to say something to break the silence, something that might slide her out of the sudden uncomfortable state that she had put herself in, but nothing seemed to come to mind.
Luckily for her, he soon began to speak, and a careful smile spread itself over her face. "I think you'd like him." She assured him, trying so very hard to ignore the fact that he thought Arkham was scared of him. Rachias knew it was true, or that it had been at one point, but wasn't that just because none of them ever really understood what was going on with him? "He saved me when we were little, you know." She smiled again, wider this time. "We were going to taste the colors in the water but it pulled us in. He got me out though." Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes suddenly and she used a hand to wipe them away quickly, despite the fact she knew he couldn't see them. "I think he'd like you, also." She said suddenly, quietly, before leaning in to give him a gentle hug and a kiss on the head. "I'm gonna go get Corona now." Rachias stood then, wiping away more tears, before turning to the door to leave.
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