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fwee! corsair's entrance! 
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I have nothing. Nothing to love, nothing to lose. So why do I still hesitate? There’s nothing left for me here, except suffering and pain. It hurts…. It hurts so much…..
Paws scraped along the ground as Corsair staggered along, lurching like a drunk. It was primarily caused by malnutrition and the heavy heart he held. The sorrows and ghosts of the past that he insisted on dragging with him pulled him down, beckoning to him. They called, inviting him to join them, to become merely a memory, lost within the dredges of time. He was tempted too, so tempted to end this pointless existence, but he couldn’t do it, couldn’t take that last step off the cliff, couldn’t ignore his body’s pleas and starve himself. Soft, harsh laughter poured forth as he slammed sideways into a wall, sliding down the front of it. Corsair felt exceptionally lethargic, more so than usual. Was this yet another starvation attempt? Probably. How pitiful. His vision was starting to blur and he could feel his energy depleting. Might as well end this stupid notion now. After all, it would fall through eventually and it was better sooner than later after all. Corsair turned his head slowly, but he could see nothing but ruins surrounding him. The remains of something that had been grand once upon a time. How fitting that he was here now. It reminded him so much of himself, left to rot; something for time to slowly dispose of. He smiled self-deprecatingly and continued on, forcing his body into fluid motions, instead of the jerky swaying it’d been performing before. His pawsteps were just about silent as he went into stealth mode, but the occasional slight limp produced sounds that normally wouldn’t exist if he’d been fully fed. There probably wasn’t anything here to eat, but just in case there was, he wouldn’t want to scare it away now would he? Corsair kept low to the ground, gliding forth like a living liquid shadow. He’d always been best at stealth, silence and that sort of thing. It’d been useful and still was in avoiding unwanted sociality, not that it had been its original purpose.
Remembering that, he felt a pang of loneliness and paused momentarily, melancholy etched in the weary grooves of his face. It wasn’t that he outright hated company. It was just…better off this way. After all, from what he’d experienced, he felt as if he were a living breathing curse. Anyone who came near him would end up in disaster and he himself was never to find happiness. After all, that’s what curses did, wasn’t it? Made sure joy and ecstasy were kept at bay? A faint smile touched his lips as he remembered what his mother had once told him. They were of Roma lineage, and their family name, Maudire, was French for curse. There was a traditional family myth about how they obtained it. Legend said that their ancestors had been able to curse others, whether it be for misfortune or unhappiness, but at the same time, they were able to lift curses. This was apparently passed on to the descendants, but it had gotten lost somewhere along the line, diluted no doubt by the many cross-breedings into the family. Such an amusing little story it seemed now. It was too bad those far-back ancestors never considered the possibility that they could be the curse, rather than have the ability. Or maybe it was only him, somehow obtaining a gene that had been twisted along the way down to him. Corsair laughed quietly to himself. Even to his own ears, it sounded hollow, drained of anything except for the deafening tone of loss and yearning deep in its core. Eyes filled with dejection, he continued on, moving through the ruins like a ghost that belonged, keeping mostly to the shadows, scanning the remains of the broken-down neighborhood even with the knowledge that there was no prey to be found. Out of sheer fatigue, he finally settled down on a broken pile of rubble and sighed. ”Can pain leave on its own? Can misery? I feel lonely….so alone….” His lilting voice whispered the words, to be swept away by the winds again, unheard. Or was it? Corsair suddenly felt disturbed and very uncomfortable, as if he were being watched by phantom eyes.
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The dark form moved like a shadow, though not nearly as quiet as one. She was not used to her paw-steps making this much noise; at least when she was on four legs. Garnet was trying out the Halfling form, something she hadn’t done before. So far, it was pretty good. Though her body didn’t have the endurance her normal lupus form did, this new one was much fast in short bursts. She had found that out by chasing a rabbit, and catching it. Normally she wouldn’t have been able to grab such a quick creature, but today she had, thanks to this form. The coyote mix paused for a second to stretch and shake her mane. Thank-fully, it was getting cooler, so Garnet didn’t have to worry much about overheating from her black fur now.
The she-coyote paused and cocked her head to one side, ears flicking. For a second there, she could have sworn that she heard laughter. Garnet tried to sniff the air, but there wasn’t much of a breeze and she couldn’t smell anything past the rabbit in her jaws. She walked in the direction she suspected it had come from. There were ruins this way, some human building far older than the mansion or just more poorly built. Once amongst the rubble, the coyote picked up faint words, though she couldn’t make them out. The black female moved around a large boulder and spotted a wolf lying on top of some fallen stone not far away. Her blood-hued eyes flickered with curiosity as she moved into view of the stranger and put down her rabbit. Garnet saw his poor condition clearly even though she was standing a few dozen feet away. ”So, what the hell happened to you?”
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-nomnom- Swifteh! 8D
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Sleep….it tugged at him with the promise of replenished strength, but he was afraid to accept its wickedly tempting offer, afraid that it would turn into an eternal slumber. Despite the fact that it was what he wanted, what he’d been wishing for, the end to his pathetic existence…he was afraid. ”I don’t want to die…” Wasn’t that what everyone thought at their last moment? Yet, he was so lethargic, his body nothing but a deadweight. He could hear a voice and there was….light? Corsair opened his eyes slowly, aware of how heavy his eyelids suddenly were. He was so sick of this unhealthy lifestyle, but he couldn’t seem to snap out of it. The blurry images were starting to focus themselves and realization crept in, albeit at a snail’s pace. Corsair could see her clearly now, the inky blackness of her fur and the vivid red irises. It was an almost cruel joke, how her colors represented the stereotype of Death’s, yet he was glad that she wasn’t. Anxiety hit him just about as soon as relief did. If he wasn’t dead, then she’d be affected. Tawny golden eyes widened in alarm and he tried to snarl, but all that came out was a ragged, feeble whisper. ”Stay away! Don’t…come close. I’m…fine.” Corsair tried to move, to stand up and melt away like he always did, but his attempts were in vain. His body refused to obey him and he was infused with a growing sense of betrayal. After all this time, there would be more pain, more bloodshed, and he would feel the guilt for it all.
Again, he’d re-live the hell of having regret chew at him, corroding his soul. What’s wrong with me? There has to be something wrong…or else this wouldn’t have happened. The old questions would gain new meaning once more and the misery would come back tenfold. He couldn’t live through that again. Not a second time. In spite of all this, he felt a slice of joy from the panic creeping in at the edges of his mind. It’d been too long since he’d talked to someone, to have his words directed to a substantial being other than himself. So he was glad, even if it only a warning. Corsair had felt so lost…so alone during his solitary journey. He’d talked to himself of course, but that wasn’t the same, and he’d sometimes wonder if he was slowly going insane, and whether or not that was his punishment. Could you have a punishment for simply being alive? At one point, he’d have laughed at the idea, seen it as an amusing statement and nothing more, but now he was seriously wondering. After all, from the moment you were born….no, before you were even born, nature constantly tried to kill you off, so why not a torturous verdict that kept you alive, but literally in a living hell? It would make sense wouldn’t it? In any case, if something like that did exist, Corsair was fairly sure he was a victim of it.
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At first, the coyote thought that the other male might have died. Was it possible for someone to die that fast? Just, slip away like that? Garnet seriously doubted it. The other stirred slightly, showing her that he was indeed alive, though for how much longer she couldn’t say. He tried to sit up, but seemed too weak to do more than force out a whisper. The black female moved a bit closer and placed her foot on the dropped rabbit. ”Like hell you’re fine.” She said sharply, huffing at him. ”What’s your problem? Too weak to hunt or have you just given up?” Her red eyes flickered with strange intensity as she spoke; it was almost as if she was getting angry at him for wanting to die.
But then, why shouldn’t she? Garnet was of the opinion that you got one life, so you had to do the best with it. There wasn’t anything better to look forward to after death, and you didn’t get another chance if you fucked up. The weakest, lowest thing for anyone to do would be to give up, or to commit suicide. Life all by itself was a fragile thing, and balancing act, and one misstep or mistake will send you falling off into a dark abyss. If this stranger was of the opinion that Garnet was going to let him die, he was terribly mistaken.
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Corsair and Garnet should have a series of topics where Garnet tries to get him out of his "paranoia" slump. He'll try to avoid her every time of course, but she can eventually persuade him to re-enter society by joining her pack. ;3 It'll give her a chance to say some intelligent stuff and insult him too! xD
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Corsair felt…pathetic and trapped, like a butterfly who’d been pinned down, wings fluttering uselessly and weakly against the backdrop of the board. He watched blankly, through unfocused eyes as the female’s mouth moved, the words coming out sharp and reprimanding. A buzzing noise filled his ears, her words sounding like they were being said through a screen of static. Her eyes seemed to burn with an angry glow as she spoke, glaring at him accusingly. He flinched under their gaze like a child caught stealing sweets, yet he smiled. It was by no means cheerful and could be more accurately described as eerie, the emptiness of the smile almost frightening. ”No…I suppose not. I haven’t been fine for a long time really. You could say that I’ve given up….but the truth is, I gave up a long time ago…or at least tried to. To date, I haven’t been able to succeed.” He paused and then smiled again, his eyes dull and blank. ”I don’t know why not….it’s not like I’ll be missed. After all…there’s nothing left, but you really should stay away. Its contagious if you must know…” His last words were rather vague and it would be hard to determine what he meant by them, but he didn’t feel like explaining, or rather, didn’t have the strength to. Corsair was worried that for every minute she spent in his company, the more her life would be ruined and the worse the destruction would be.
He didn’t have any proof that it would happen again, but he didn’t need any. Just the possibility was enough for him to isolate himself from society. That didn’t make him any less surprised though, and he was….surprised that is. He hadn’t expected to gain such enjoyment from a simple exchange of words from another being. It just went to show how much he missed having a normal social lifestyle, where you inter-depended on other wolves for your survival. Packs were out of the question though. Even at the rare chance that the curse had never existed, or was no longer there, he’d die of paranoia before he even managed to spend two nights within the pack. Would he ever return to society? Someday…but someday seemed awfully far away at the moment and if he kept this kind of thing up, it would never come. Observing the dust particles floating in the brilliance of the sun with lifeless eyes, Corsair considered this. Despite possessing enough intelligence to know that his death would never change what had happened before, he still felt as if he were an abomination better off dead than alive. After all, wouldn’t it be nice if everything plaguing the world just disappeared? Then again, he’d once been a firm believer in logical thinking rather than stupid wishful dreams, but so much had changed…and he along with it.
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Garnet raised an eyebrow at the other."Fuck. If you're just going to be that way, then I guess there is nothing I can do. Go to Hell." She started with a snort and stalked off.
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End of this thread. I'ma start the next one after this post.
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Corsair blinked in surprise at the harshness of her tone and her selection of words, staring as she whirled around and stalked off. Yet, as he watched the black wolf's retreating figure...he couldn't help but feel a bit of sorrow along with the relief her departure brought. It was true that he didn't want anyone near him because he was afraid of what might happen, even if he had no proof, but merely her company had been nice...while it lasted. Still, this was best right? For him and everyone else, because he was a disease....a parasite that gained nothing but misery, yet still latched firmly onto it's host. What a fitting analogy, he thought to himself. Despite the self-comfort he was attempting to conjure, Corsair still felt empty somehow...deprived, as if he were a child who was just offered a small taste of a sweet, only to have it ripped away.
He shook his head violently at this thought. It was bad to stay in this frame of mind. If he kept at it at this rate, he'd end up longing for the forbidden and he didn't need any reminders as to how that was going to turn out. Staring forlornly at the spot where another living thing had just stood a moment before, he sighed. "She wasn't very pleasant anyways." he whispered to himself, the soft voice holding remnants of bitterness. Even when he noticed the rabbit that the other wolf had been considerate enough to leave, despite how she acted, he felt no joy, but the void in his heart became even more profound. "Yes...that's right. It's just another reminder." To him, the rabbit may be food, but it was also a symbol of mockery. It was simply another thing that taunted him and the horrible way he was living his life, another thing to infuse doubts in him, but it failed, as usual.
With unsteady steps, he walked over and settled down to eat. He wasn't focused on the taste so much as simply filling his stomach. Food no longer held much joy for him, but was more like a chore. A depressing way to think about it, but in his distorted mind, eating was simply something you had to do to survive and even so, he barely ate enough to survive. The perfect example was this instance...where he'd been so close to collapse. Corsair didn't enjoy the suffering he was putting his body through, but he supposed it was just something he did involuntarily. Redemption perhaps, that he was doling out unto himself unconsciously, since he couldn't seem to break out of the habit. He smiled, the familiar aura of unhappiness engulfing him in its embrace.
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