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The light bathed the trees and the grass all around the white wolf. The leaves cast oddly-shaped shadows on the ground below, dancing a slow, steady dance, one with the motion of the wind. The female stood quite still in the dim light, somewhere between a late dusk and an early evening, listening to the song of the woods around her, remembering the songs of times long gone. The sky was painted with a variety of pastels, and Urma's amber eyes traced the outlines of the colours against the cream-coloured clouds that glided slowly, in and out almost of the remaining light, so that the colours of the sky seemed to be caused by the clouds, like light reflecting through enormous prisms.
Urma hadn't left Crimson Dreams since she had come here, with the rest of her pack. She had been both drawn and frightened by the road back to what she had once associated with Shadowed Sun territories. So, to pass the time, she had dug herself a den, in a small secluded area at the base of a tree, hidden by a couple of bushes, somewhere near Rabbit Lake. It was the sort of place that had a sense of tranquility around it, and it was cool and kept safe by the density of the tree's leaves through which sunlight, even in the middle of the day, was barely filtered. She wasn't far off from the majority of the pack, but she had kept well to herself, busying herself through the woods and approaching the Lake only when others were not around and going for small hunts that would keep her hunger at bay. She wasn't being anti-social, but she knew that if she faced all the new faces now she'd only find herself terribly lonely.
At one point she had wanted to go searching for Naniko or Savina or Pilot. But then, time and time again, she had reminded herself that it was probably not the best time, since the pack was just blossoming and they were all very busy, and although that in itself should have been a reason -maybe she'd be able to help them with something- she had used it as a means of shutting herself away more. The solitude only served as a reminder of the other one time when she had hid in herself and had been on her own, and she did not want to do the same again now. This time her thoughts stayed outside Europe, and sometimes she'd find herself lead by them to wander around the pack searching for somebody that, as soon as she spotted, she hid from. She felt that changes were rushing in one after the other, and she knew she could tell him, but then she knew she couldn't.
Now, as she stood at the entrance in her den, lying flat on her stomach, head resting on her front paws, she thought of when would be a good time to make it up to him for what he had done. A while back, in between Shadowed Sun disbanding and Crimson Dreams taking its place in her life, she had followed Naniko's advice and had gone on her own, guided by other wolves' instructions, to Halifax. And she had found what she was looking for, and now that she had it neatly packed in her den, wrapped up and waiting for him, she found that she felt it would mean nothing to him, or mean too much of the past, and anyway she hardly had it in her to even create herself the opportunity of giving it to him. She gazed in the direction of her den, down the entrance, repeating in her head how many steps away from her his gift was, and thinking how far away that same gift that meant so many things was from him.
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He raised a hand, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes with thumb and forefinger. Though he was glad that Crimson Dreams had finally been established, things weren’t going exactly how he had planned. Oddly he still felt secluded as if he didn’t quite belong. The fact that he was a sub-leader among friends didn’t seem to help at all either. He wasn’t sure why his life had taken this turn, but it was as if he had fallen into a rut after Dierdre’s disappearance and he just couldn’t seem to crawl out of it.
He let both arms fall to his sides as he let out a deep sigh, barely noticing just how breath taking the sky had become. Instead, he trudged along as if somehow he would find the answers to any and all of the questions he had. His hair cascaded into his eyes, but he merely blinked and shifted his head so that the tufts gently blew to the side. The silver stud in his lip shimmered for a moment as he suddenly turned on his feet, the pastel light from the dying sun given his fur a golden sheen.
He studied the ground beneath him, unaware that he was closing the distance in on one of his fellow pack mates. Before he had a chance to realize this, Urma came into his view and he was looking over to where she had dug her den. He offered a smile, moving closer and crouching down near where she had laid. "Hi there," he offered, suddenly glad he wasn’t alone anymore.
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Urma had been concentrating on the shape of a cloud for sometime now, letting her thoughts drift away, and in certain aspects it seemed as if she had been separated from her own ideas, as if they belonged to the sky as well as the clouds. However her ears picked up the faintest sound, and she spotted Pilot a fraction of a second sooner than he spotted her. She had been running away from him for quite a long time now, and seeing him, suddenly coming in her direction, noticing her, stopped her from moving an inch. The gift suddenly sprang back to life in her mind, and a small sense of panic washed over her, the anticipation, the dreading of a reaction.
She stood quite perfectly still, looking at him, a bit oddly, if anything, counting his steps against her will. When he finally sat down near the place she was resting in, she wagged her tail, letting it beat against the ground underneath her for a few times. She smiled when he greeted her, a genuinely happy smile, hiding the fear quietly nestled beneath it. "Hello," she responded, letting the answer sink in, letting the sound of her own voice after his brush against her ears after what had been some time. "It's been a while," she continued, voicing the thought she had only just had. I missed this, she thought to herself, glad that she could finally look at him, not just glance and hide away.
Urma stood up on all fours, her smile widening. "It's good to see you," she said, barely able to contain her eagerness to close in the distance between them and snuggle up next to him. Her own thoughts made her realise how impossible such things were, how far away from her. She turned around and, in a rush, went in through the entrance and out of sight in her den. A few seconds passed before she emerged, carrying a considerable package, wrapped up in purple paper. She carried it up to him and placed it neatly on the ground in front of him. She looked up to meet his gaze and smiled, although this time her smile was shy. "Ever since I came to Shadowed Sun, I felt I owed you so much for everything you did for me. But I had no idea what I could do for you, in return. I've been meaning to give you this for some time now. But then everything that's been happening lately... she trailed off, before continuing, "I went and bought it at Naniko's suggestion. She helped me figure out a lot of things about..." you...and me...maybe, she thought, "...everything." She paused to take a deep breath, her heart pounding hard against her ribcage. "I hope you're going to like it," she finished lamely, before lowering her gaze to the ground sheepishly.
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OOC: The package contains a case, and inside that case is a violin =)
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He crouched down near her, resting his forearms on his thighs as she responded to his greeting. He always felt a bit warmer when she was near, but he didn’t want to admit to himself exactly what the feeling was. Nothing could replace Dierdre, but maybe he could make some room in his life and let in someone new. He really needed that, but he was too scared to admit it. "It has," he offered, watching as she moved and ducked away into her den. He didn’t worry, but silently waited for her to emerge. He assumed there was something inside she needed to fetch.
When she exited her den and placed the package in front of him, he easily let himself sit upon the soft earth. One leg was pressed against the ground as if waiting to make a pretzel with the other, however, that one was bent at the knee and Pilot rested a forearm upon it. He smiled at the gesture, listening to the soft words she spoke. "Really?" He asked stupidly, smiling almost sheepishly. He reached out a hand and drug his fingers along the smooth surface of the purple paper. He looked up to Urma with a genuinely soft smile and spoke gently, "Thank you."
He began to unwrap the package, peeling away the paper to reveal a darkly colored case. He didn’t know what was inside, but just this was enough to bring back memories. In his den had been something very similar, though it had been in much worse condition. The case was still fairly intact and the corners of the fabric weren’t fraying at torn stitching like his had been. He continued, finally able to open the case when all of the paper was removed. Inside was a beautiful violin and he shook his head. "You shouldn’t have," he told her, but his voice and smile said otherwise. He was truly grateful for this heartfelt gift.
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Urma waited restlessly for Pilot to open the gift, her heart pounding hard against her ribcage, waiting for a reaction. His soft voice, the polite, warm statement, made the white female smile slowly. She looked at him, her expression a mixture of her own thank you-s, her own hopes. "I'd like to hear you play it once, if you wouldn't mind. At some point, maybe," she said meekly, her thoughts drifting into a future where she could lay her head on his lap and listen to the soft sounds of the violin as Pilot played it for her. But those thoughts were probably going to remain just that. How could she possibly tell him how much he had become to her in such a short time, how much the revelation of this had taken her aback.
She edged a bit closer to him, leaving only the violin in its case standing between them. Her eyes glowed a rusted shade of amber in the sun that barely came through the dense tree leaves. A multitude of feelings stirred inside her. She watched him, and her eyes betrayed a mixture of fondness and dedication. Looking at Pilot was to Urma like feeling. She only had to look at him to feel an immeasurable amount of happiness invade her senses. She felt silly, looking at him, so silent, as if she wanted to say something through gestures that she could not put into words, which was probably the case anyway. Only she felt compelled to say something. All the running away from Pilot, all the trivial conversations hiding just a bigger fear of the truth meaning her rejection... It was all part of some kind of pretense that Urma had grown weary of. She enjoyed his company, she felt something completely and utterly beautiful for him, and the silence of it threatened to tear her apart.
Maybe the moment wasn't right, but then when are moments right to do something? The fluke, the risk, the spontaneous decision to act in a certain way is what, later on, makes a moment the "right" one. Urma knew this, somewhere in her heart, as she stirred a bit and placed a paw over Pilot's slowly and gently. "I missed you," she said, in barely more than a whisper.
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"Of course. I’ll have to practice and remind myself how to play. It feels like forever ago." He reached out a hand, letting his fingers slide across the smooth wood surface of the instrument. He smiled up at Urma once more, wondering how he had been so lucky to find someone as kind as her, before he added another, "Thank you." He shut the case then, not wanting the gift to steal any spotlight, and watched as Urma scooted a bit closer. That was something he didn’t mind one bit.
Deep in his heart he could hear himself protesting – What about Dierdre! Remember Dierdre! He blocked it out though. He would need to lock those memories up and throw away the key. It was old news. Pilot needed to start living for here and now. He decided to do just that then, and forget about the past. He had barely even noticed that her paw had found it’s way to his. He looked up to find her soft amber eyes, and he nodded. Is it too soon to say perfect? "Let’s stay up all night with the stars."
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Urma wondered whether it would be a good idea to ask when the last time Pilot had played the violin had been, but she decided against it. Any talk about the past now felt as if they didn't want to move forward in the slightest. From what she had gathered, mostly due to her conversations with Naniko, Pilot had his own ghost to haunt him, and Urma found it easy to sympathize with him, given her own past cast shadows on her present still. Realistically speaking, the white female knew only too well that she could never replace Mörker with anyone else, mostly because she felt it unfair that she try to do that knowing full well he was dead now, and he would have been happy had she found someone else, as long as she kept a lingering memory of their times. And Urma didn't have it in her to simply push him out completely-- she doubted she could have, even if she wanted to. She had only found out so much about Dierdre, but the fondness with which Naniko had talked about her made her seem a very good wolf. Of course certain question had always risen-- how come Sirius looked so foreign, appearance like, if Dierdre had been as white-furred as Pilot? But those question didn't change her opinion on Pilot, and she felt that if he had the answers, he'd share them with Urma when he felt it was the right time.
Now this moment, in its simple, shy, childish almost, manner, invaded her body, numbing her senses in a pleasant, relaxing way. Although the feel of his paw underneath her felt very soothing, for the first time she remembered she could do more than this. She looked into his eyes, and spoke softly, "Would you mind waiting a bit?" She lingered with her paw over his one moment more, seemingly unable to take it away, even for a little while. In the end she got up on all fours and went down in her den. In a small satchel she kept a number of odd things, which she only used in Optime form. Using another entrance to her den, that went a bit around the tree, she went out with the satchel, and sat down, her back against the tree trunk. This way the bushes around the tree, as well as the tree itself, kept her out of sight.
Urma closed her eyes, concentrating on what she wanted to do. Her change came a bit more natural to her than it had in the beginning-- seeing so many wolves find comfort in it had motivated her to shift more often. Usually she took to spots outside Shadowed Sun and practiced shifting, then spent hours in her Optime form enjoying the luxuries of better dexterity, before shifting back and returning to her den, a bit exhausted. Now, as she felt her body change, her hair spread itself around her a bit awkwardly, her ears adjusting to the new shape of her skull, the shifting process brought nothing but a foreign kind of familiarity, as opposed to the fear she had once associated it with. It took her about seven minutes to shift, give or take. She then began to take some of the items out of the bag. She ran a few fingers through her hair before braiding it into what came out as a long, smooth braid. Every here and there she'd place a few beads, as a touch of colour. It only took her about two minutes, which, with the time she had spent in her den bringing up the satchel, would make it somewhere around ten minutes since she had left Pilot. She started to feel bad, and panicked about him leaving. In a rush she threw the satchel through the entrance around the tree, before emerging around the tree, nervous but clearly out in the open. She hurried her pace until she was in front of Pilot again, and sat down, folding her legs under her. She smiled, a bit flustered, blushing a bit. She pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes, and extended her hand so that it touched Pilot's again. Her index finger traced the outline of Pilot's. It felt nice to know now she could entwine her fingers with his. She smiled, feeling a bit more confident seated in front of him, in the same form.
Only now did she realise evening had quickly settled in, leaving only rosy hues that were diminishing on the horizon. The sky became darker, and she smiled once more. "I'd be more than delighted to spend my night out, watching the stars...." she said, as a late reply to his offer, then thought about her answer more and continued, "...with you." Her hand lingered on his, before slowly encircling his wrist. She edged a little bit closer, paying attention to somehow move around the violin instead of moving it from its place on the grass. She looked over his shoulder, and saw the territories that belonged to Crimson Dreams, like the grass they were on now. She looked up to the sky, whose glow seemed enchanting. She longed to lay down next to him, her head on his chest, and watch the glittering stars above, the sparkling embers that made her feel so small, in comparison. Then she slowly lowered her gaze to meet his once more. "Thank you... for taking me with you." She meant a heartfelt thank you that he had brought her here, within Crimson Dreams. You take her of me, like no one has. Even he took care of me differently. If I could only stay here, with you, forever. I needn't feel small again, if I had that.
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"Of course," he replied, watching as Urma disappeared into her den. He let his silver gaze linger there for a moment, before looking back to the violin case. He ran his fingers over the soft black and pictured the shiny wooden instrument safely cradled inside. He had to wonder where she had found such a beautiful item – most things in the city seemed to be either broken or long since stolen. The gesture was incredibly heart melting and he knew that he was making the right decision by letting his heart fall into her hands.
He cast his glance back to the den every so often, expecting to see the white princess emerge. When she didn’t, however, he wasn’t alarmed. Even though Dierdre had left him, he knew that Urma was coming back. He knew deep in his heart that she wasn’t the type of girl to leave him alone and heartbroken. And ten minutes later when she did finally return to his side, she looked more beautiful than ever. He couldn’t tell if it was the playful colors in her hair, the curves of her body, or the radiance of her lovely face, but she was glowing. He eagerly waited for her to sit next to him and when her hand found his, he instantly felt like the luckiest guy alive.
Her words were so soft and sweet, that Pilot wanted to scoop her into his lap and hold onto her forever. He couldn’t believe that someone could be so sincere and kind about things. "Thank you for staying with me," he said back to her, voice gentle in the calm, warm autumn air.
He slid his fingers away from her palm for just a moment as he carefully moved the violin case to the side. Moving closer to her, Pilot reclined back, cradling his head with one arm, while the other snaked around her frame. "You look so beautiful," he told her, coaxing her with a gentle tug to lay with him and watch the stars blossoming overhead. Maybe it was the dusk light, but things just seemed to be so perfect here with Urma by his side.
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