the time of your life (you just can't tell)
#21
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If he ever forgot his own name, what would he think upon hearing it again? It wasn't fair, of course, that he should be walking away from Maluki now. It wasn't fair that he should withhold him answers when he had once so desperately needed them himself, but being forgotten was the one thing he wished he could force upon everyone he knew, so naturally Laruku would want to shy away from answering. It would have been better if he had said nothing at all, if he had just shrugged and pretended that he didn't know -- perhaps Maluki deserved to remember and to know, but really, the blind man had to wonder whether he really would have wanted to remember if he knew. Jefferson did not seem so bad off, and it might have been inevitable that he remember if he stuck with Iskata long enough. Laruku didn't need to be a part of it. They didn't need to spend another night nostalgic by the lake again.



Maybe it was Laruku that didn't want to remember after all. He wasn't being fair, but it wouldn't be the worse thing he'd ever done, to lie to his once-brother now. He kept walking, but it wasn't like he could move very quickly anyway. He couldn't see or know where he was going, after all. Ceres was the alphess of Clouded Tears before she died. Her death upset a lot of people; I suppose you were one of them. Every word he said conjured up images of a thousand years ago. It had snowed that evening. It had snowed, but he had been warm then. Colibri and Acid had been betas for a time, but they'd both disappeared by the time Ceres died. He was saying too much, he knew. He was giving away far too much information for him to just be a stray pack member. It was more than obvious that he had been a part of the pack for a good while. When Maluki remembered, he would know.



I didn't know you, Laruku said, Not long enough. His voice was empty because he felt empty; all the life and feeling were as detached as the memories. It was mostly true, anyway. What did he know about Maluki? He knew who his parents were, who his relatives were, where he had been born. He didn't know his favorite food or his favorite color, his favorite place to hunt or to sleep. He didn't know what his dreams had been. He didn't know much of anything at all. I don't know what happened to your life. Only you can answer that. It was a hypocrite's answer. If asked, Laruku wouldn't be able to tell anyone what the hell had happened to his own life.

Everything was empty.
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#22
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wc242

escape is never the safest path

He was cold, listless in all his replies. The shoulder seemed constantly turned in Jefferson's direction, and the words that crept from Laruku's throat were hardly any more specific than before. So his grandmother was the alphess, his parents subleaders. It made sense; he was the product of an important family. It made sense. It was why he knew so many faces without knowing who they were--he'd once had plenty of connections. Laruku was still avoiding him, avoiding the answers; Jefferson could have cared less if the stranger didn't like him or couldn't face his past properly. He should have seen it further than that. The hybrid ignored the ear that twitched in irritation. This creature was not getting away.

"Enough!" He growled, voice reaching its climax. The hybrid dashed in front of the blinded figure well aware that he could not see him there. His brows furrowed, his fangs gleamed. He was no threat, but... he was losing some patience. "Enough of this avoiding! I don't care what the hell happened to you in your past. We bear the same bloody stars and stripes on our bodies and yet you won't even share with me what is mine." His green eye flashed. "I want to know who they were, Laruku. My parents. My pack. My everything-that-I-can't-remember. Are they dead? Alive? Damnit, stop pretending you don't even care. Hell if they say memories can be curses. Having none at all is a plague."

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#23
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Laruku stopped when the other cut off his path, but only regarded at him with the same empty expression. The blind man wasn't sure when he had last been angry, but that particular emotion, more than any other, felt far away. He had no right or reason to be angry; the other man did, but slightly younger hybrid still had no interest in divulging the whole truth. He was not the only source of information in the world; if he really wanted to know, there were other places to look. Laruku was certain of very little these days, but he knew that he didn't want to be found. If he was lost to his once-brother now, then he wanted to remain that way. The world had never been made so that everyone could be happy. Why should I have all the answers? he asked evenly, apparently unphased by Jefferson's impatience.



They were not the same. They never really had been. Clouded Tears is gone, just like the rest of the packs that used to be on the other side of that mountain. I don't know anything about your parents -- maybe they're alive, maybe not. That, at least, was true. He had not seen Acid since he had been four months old. He had not seen Colibri since... he didn't remember when he had last seen her. Perhaps it had been shortly after Ceres's death. That had been almost three years ago. A lifetime ago, a thousand lifetimes ago. I'm sorry I don't know all the answers to your questions, but you and most of your family disappeared a long time ago. They were dead to each other. Laruku preferred it that way. Life went on. If he had to bury the past, then he would bury the whole past. The hybrid wanted to continue walking away, but there was no real way for him to escape until Maluki decided he was done asking questions.
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#24
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I think we could end it right here, since Laruku has nothing more to say. I'm good with what we've got though. Big Grin From here, Jeffers can easily start filling in blanks.
wc293

escape is never the safest path

"Why should I have all the answers? He was right. Jefferson was expecting too much out of this stranger; they shared a lineage somehow, somewhere, but they were still somehow strangers. Laruku seemed to want nothing to do with Maluki or who he was now, even though Jefferson had opened up quite a bit without any intention to and dropped his guard for the longest time. He appreciated what had been said. He appreciated that he could now begin putting two and two together, instead of throwing guesses into the dark. He was finally appreciating that he had ended up in this sorry old valley, gimped and starving, and had given living there a chance. The brute would never have admitted it, but this new life was something he'd wanted for a long time.


"Fine," he muttered, letting his eye stray to the ocean again, taking a moment to watch as the waves rolled so peacefully. Time would go on. It was willing to leave him behind again, but this time... he wasn't about to be abandoned again. "You've told me what I needed to hear. That's what matters here. I'll find Iskata for the rest." He scowled. "Thanks." The creature turned, suddenly eager to return to Phoenix Valley where more answers possibly laid, hidden from his sight until that very moment. He began his limp away, passing the fellow hybrid as he went, but after he moved a few feet, he stopped and glanced over his shoulders. "Don't get yourself killed, scrappy. I'd be disappointed if you died off before I did." Perhaps it was an invitation to meet again, perhaps not. That was the wisdom of Jefferson; he was always enigmatic in his sarcasm. That said, his legs began moving again.

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#25
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Fine, thanks, and don't die. All of those sentiments were too familiar. It was all anyone had to say to him anymore, and he had only one response for all of them. Laruku dipped his head slightly, almost as if nodding, and turned slightly before continuing on his aimless way. He had nothing more to say if there were no other questions. Vaguely, he wondered why everyone was so keen on keeping and wishing him alive; no one had anything to gain from his presence anymore. He was helping no one, hurting no one, and was more a ghost than anything else. It was only for their own peace of mind, he supposed. Otherwise, he'd just be another name to the wind in the past, someone to be forgotten quickly. He would die someday. Whether that day was before his fake brother's death didn't really matter to him. He didn't intend to see Maluki again if he could help it. If the other wanted to dig up what he could of his past, that was fine, but Laruku wanted to keep his buried. He had grown old, and he had grown cold.
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