some things for the rain
#1
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It had gotten cold rather suddenly. The snow from the previous night was already melting, but that routine wouldn't last long. The winter was coming, and with it, frostier weather and lesser prey. You won't survive the winter, he'd been told. Funny that there was any sort of defiance in him at all, but there it was. He could be fine if he wanted to; he could survive if he wanted. The question of "if he wanted" was very much up in the air, and it had been for a long time. The hybrid would not be so bothered if he froze to death in the coming months, but he had nothing to occupy himself with in the meantime. Maybe it was just instinct taking over -- instinct always dictated those actions that were needed to live -- or maybe it was just another excuse in the end. He decided that it didn't matter because he didn't want or need to justify himself (because you can't). He was gathering wood for the fireplace because there was nothing else to do. That was all.


It was not so hard. He was surrounded by dense forest and good-sized logs were littered all over the place. When the sack over his shoulder filled, he wandered back the way he'd come until he found the cabin again, unloaded the wood inside the living room, then head back out again. The side effect was that he was getting to know his surrounding area better again -- he had known it before, but now he would know it without seeing it. Part of him was annoyed that he was getting along as well as he was. Part of him was laughing. Laruku picked up another log and went back to thinking as much about nothing as he could.

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#2
-you looked lonelyyyy.. have some annoying not so closely related family members-

DaVinci hadn't seen his onetime hybrid alpha since that day of chaos. He'd taken Skylar off to explore the Dampwoods beyond the limestone quarry. The girl was quick on her feet and had actually managed to track down a rabbit, between DaVinci and herself the two had brought the small creature down. DaVinci had done most of the work but he'd been the one to let her take the kill, the proud look still shimmering in her eyes as she stalked along beside her father with her head held high, the rabbit hanging limply from her maw. DaVinci had caught the scent of Laruku as they moved through the territory, his ears upright and taunt as he tried to catch the sounds all around them as they moved along their way.

He had promised to show Skylar the border of Inferni from a distance but if Laruku was roaming the grounds that gave him concern to turn about with his daughter and head home. He didn't know if the hybrid was finally well or if he'd escaped from the shack but there wasn't much he could do either way if the male actually was lose in the woods. The words of the golden cinnamon male stuck in his mind as they continued to move, he hoped that they would clear out of the area before they ran into the scarred male once more.

Suddenly it seemed that Skylar heard something that he hadn't, so caught up in his thoughts and before he could do anything the girl had bound off towards the direction Laruku's scent had been drifting from. Hissing at Skylar to stop, though he knew she was already gone he did the only thing he could do and bolted after the girl. The normally shy child suddenly gave a yelp out loud as DaVinci groaned and quickened his pace. It didn't take him long to find the location of the girl, having tripped herself up in a briar bush and cried out when she'd dropped her kill. Sitting back on his haunched before the girl DaVinci chuckled as he asked. "Have we learned anything today, Skylar?"

She glanced at her father with the air of a princess as she untangled herself from the thorny vines and with the flip of her bushy tail she trotted off to pick up the rabbit once more before pausing and staring straight ahead. DaVinci walked towards her, raising his head up to see what it was she'd spotted. Through the trees he caught the sight of the male he'd been trying to avoid, Laruku at work gathering something or another. Groaning to himself the silvery blue hybrid wished that his children weren't so good at finding what he was trying to avoid.
#3
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Another effect of apathy should have been a decreased awareness of his surroundings, but it was only natural for his other senses to heighten to make up for his lack of sight -- it had happened on its own for the most part, and so Laruku could not help but hear the distant yelp and the small, pounding footsteps, followed by a heavier and older set. There was no breeze in the frosty, late afternoon air, but the hybrid straightened himself slightly and stared off in the direction from whence the sounds had come. The quiet feeling of frustration was there again; he convinced himself that it didn't matter who was there because friend or foe, he didn't really have the ability to avoid them anymore. Someone who knew him would pursue him as long as they wanted, and he could no longer fight back or run. Someone who wanted him dead would have him dead, and that would be that. He would prefer the latter to the former though.


What do you want? he asked tonelessly to whoever was there (why don't you ask who it is first, baby?). It didn't matter who it was. The blind man only wanted to get the inevitable meeting over with so he could go back to thinking about nothing.

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#4
DaVinci stepped before Skylar as she watched the male silently for a few moments. He knew now by the sight of Laruku's eyes that he was blind, something he had yet to gather at their last failed meeting. The nothing that seemed to drag on between the was broken by the words of the elder hybrid. The former packmember sighed and flicked his ears back, wondering if he should just turn around and take his daughter home or actually speak up. In the end the only thing that made him speak was the thought that it was cruel and heartless to just walk away, like playing games with a turtle on it's back.

He cleared his throat and spoke softly. "Would you have let me die?" he asked. His daughter peering around his hindleg and up at him with alarm on her face as she backed up. He knew he would have a lot to explain to his own child, but if the words the male had spoken were meant for him or not, they still haunted his mind that doubted the trust of the world still.
#5
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Laruku did not really recognize the voice. Of course, he remembered little to nothing of the incident in the diseased shack, and whatever he did recall felt more like a dream than anything else. He never did realize that it had been DaVinci that had come to see him, and so a long time had passed since he last remembered seeing the angry, hybrid boy. He probably thought he was dead, like he assumed most people were dead -- it was easier than wondering or trying to summon up the energy to care or feel guilty or anything else. Yes, the blind man answered decidedly, half hoping the answer would end the conversation, but at least part of that answer was genuine. Death was mercy after all, wasn't it? He didn't know who was there, but he would be the first to assume that he wasn't completely happy with his life. No one was. Everyone secretly wanted to die. I would have.

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#6
-distracted, sorry this reply sucks.-

DaVinc's ears flicked back at the reply he was granted, the press of his daughter's body against his hindleg made him aware that he wasn't alone this time. He stared at the male in silence for a moment before he finally asked. "Then why did you save me?" He had hated his mother since the day she'd attempted to end his life, when Laruku had saved him he'd been a sore and bitter spoiled brat and only time had healed those wounds, though the questions still lingered. He could hear Skylar whimper softly as she backed away from the two males and the conversation at hand.

He took a step towards the male as he demanded. "Why did you even save her!" If Laruku had just left Iskata to die that day then this would all be over with and perhaps nothing would have mattered in the end. IF his mother had died perhaps DaVinci would have been raised in Inferni and he would have never had a single moment's time where he'd have even met these ghosts from the past. Perhaps the hybrid was just being selfish but he wanted an answer that actually made sense. He wanted to know why, and why was always the most annoying answer to have to answer.
#7
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Honestly, the blind man doubted that he had ever saved anyone. It had never felt like he had. "Saved" was simply too positive sounding, and he doubted that he had ever really had any positive effect on someone. His words had cold and defiant, and then they had become cold and apathetic, and then they had just become cold. And then they had just become empty. I've never saved anyone. He said as much, but he doubted whoever it was that was speaking to him would understand that. Perhaps he had stopped someone from killing him -- that was what normally constituted as "saving," right? Perhaps he had guided him out of an unfortunate situation. Responsibility, circumstance. Saving implied that he had cared. He cared too much to say that he had cared.


It had probably been obligation, he elaborated tonelessly. It was probably true. Obligation and responsibility and the weight of the world had dictated his actions for a long time. It was why he had stayed so long, probably, though he supposed it could also have been because he had no where else to be. But he had had a role to fulfill since a day that had been too early in coming. He had been an icon more than a person, a figurehead that had no emotions or feelings of his own. Given back a life to do with whatever he wished, he hadn't really changed much at all, except that now he had no one to pretend to be. Without that, he was nothing, just the emptiness that had always been there behind the mask.

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#8
DaVinci narrowed his eyes at the blind man as he gave his reasons for the deeds he'd done. A bitter deep laughter drew from his maw as he spat. "Right, and I was always a happy and joyfilled child without a care in the world." He shook his head at the male as he continued. "Why would you have felt been obligated to save me..." The male knew what an obligation was but though it technically meant they had to do something there was some sort of morals involved where one would feel a need to feel obligated towards one thing or another. He shook his head at the male as he moved closer, leaving his daughter alone hehind him

Drawing to stand beside the old wasting hybrid DaVinci changed his tone of questioning. "Why didn't you get your own life.. if you seemed like you were so obligated to devote yourself to everyone elses.." He's seen the monster awaken inside Laruku so long ago, he never realized then and he probably couldn't realize now just what he'd witnessed.. but this male had lived in the shadow of duty for so long and the hybrid youth couldn't figure why the hell he hadn't made his own stake in claiming his life his own while he could.. because it didn't seem like he'd be able to now.
#9
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I wouldn't have done anything with my life, he said, though he considered that he might have hurt less people if he had stayed where Acid had left him. If he had gone the other way instead of coming home, if he had never gone back to Clouded Tears, and if he had never become their alpha. He didn't want to think about the details of it anymore though. Everything was so far away that surely it didn't even matter anymore. Everyone he had hurt was dead or otherwise gone. Everyone that had died because of his actions or his decisions, everyone that had suffered for his mistakes. They were all gone, and all that was left were his own memories and a thousand ghosts. When he died, no one would be left to know.


Why does it matter to you? Laruku wondered, not moving or averting his empty gaze as the other approached.


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#10
His ears pinned back against his skull at the words that Laruku offered him. He'd haunted the male, like a burr in his pelt he'd thought that the only other hybrid he'd known growing up was worth looking up to.. now it seemed that he'd been wrong, so wrong. His voice was disapproving and disappointing as he spoke. "You never did anything with your life." He stopped a few feet from the male as he continued. "You had us all fooled.." his voice was soft and sad as he shook his head.. the anger draining from his words as the sick creature before him just stood there.

He let his head droop as a sigh escaped his lips. He really didn't know what he'd think he'd find in meeting the male again, what kindof answer he wanted.. the truth or lies.. or if there was just some hope somewhere.. like that was a chance, a voice called back to him as he closed his eyes. The last words of Laruku hit him as he turned his eyes towards Skylar, "Because.. once I thought you were someone else.." someone worth knowing.. someone worth following.. someone to replace what my world was missing.
#11
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Can end here or keep going -- up to you?


His mouth made a noise that used to be laughter, that might have once been something like bitterness, something like irony, something like sarcasm. But this sound was only just sound -- meaningless noise with no meaning attached. I never fooled anyone, the hybrid said, If you believed whatever you believed, then you only fooled yourself. Laruku had done plenty with his life; it was only that none of them were things he wanted to say or mention or remember. And he didn't want anyone else to remember either. Saying he had done nothing with his life was really more kindness than he deserved. Ryoujoku laughed too, but it was a real laugh, the only real laugh that was left: the familiar cackle, echoing into silence.


Get out of here, the blind man told the other finally, I have nothing to offer you -- I never did. It was funny somehow, that he still didn't know who he was talking to, but he supposed it didn't really matter in the end. It could be anyone, anyone at all that had once known him, or thought they'd known him. The words would still apply. He had never had anything to offer anyone. He turned his head and kept on in the direction he'd been going.


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#12
He hadn't even known what had grabbed ahold of him and angered him so. The silvery blue hybrid just stood there as the other broke down his faulty thinking as DaVinci's fur bristled along his back. The male before him had once been something, he wasn't certain how or why but his warped puppy mind had believed once. Now as the male told him to leave DaVinci just stook there quietly, no angry words or hate. He just felt sorry for the male, he felt sorry for himself. He probably could never change that part of who he was, but instead of continue ranting and raving in the wind for a past he didn't care for the hybrid just shook his head and turned away.

Nuzzling his daughter as he reached the spot where she still lay crouched he sighed and licked her between the ears as he murmured. "It's alright Skylar.." and with a sigh he turned back to the male for a moment as he spoke. "Just ghosts from the past.." Nudging her to his feet he waited til she had taken her leave of the oldest hybrid in the ground, turning her beige orbs to gaze at him once before scampering ahead quietly while her father slowly followed, a weary feeling settling about as they began the trek home, leaving the past behind them.


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