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Days had passed. Months, weeks, or maybe even years. Conri wasn't sure anymore, he'd lost track of time so long ago. All he knew now was light and dark, days of cold and hunger and sleepless nights. His time was spent wandering the lands, lurking in the shadows and watching the world around him. It had been weeks since he had spoke, or at least on his own, and days since he had managed to eat. His body was failing him, thin and brittle, and weakness had put a stop to most of his wanderings.
It was bright out, even beneath the shade of a tall tree, where Conri had come to rest that morning. Tired eyes stayed squinted closed, head resting back against the cold trunk of the tree. Even through all of it, the delusions and the weakness, he still clutched that baseball tightly. It had been given to him by a stranger that he could vaguely remember, but he did recall the actions of that day. The sound of the glass shattering and wood splintering as he wrought havoc in the tiny toy store. The bat rested over his outstretched legs, hand tightly around the handle. Ears twitched carefully, in unison with the sparse sounds of birds who hadn't flown south for the winter. They were conspiring, he knew, and he was spying on them.
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So sorry for the wait on this reply hun, how're you?
push it inSoran had awoken far too early this day, the image of Hollow laughing as he held their dead son in his hands, twisting his frail neck as she had done so soon after he had been born, around and around he had twisted it, until his orange red hands had been stained dark crimson with Rokus' blood. Blood that was on the ebony lady's own hands in reality, true it had never been there in the first place, not physically, the little male pup had never bled, he had just died in her hands, as she crunched his frail neck. The guilt was killing her, she could not believe what she had done, killed her own newborn son for a crime that he had not committed, for something that was not his fault, for simply looking like the perfect blend of his dark mother and his rapist father. Had she been in a better mindframe, sober, not wracked by her self hatred at being too weak to fight back against the brutal attack that had created the pups, she might have let him live, had she been sane at the time she would have stayed, she would have nutured her younger litter the way she should have. She had gotten her comeuppance though, the litter that she had wanted had died, she had lost them and her new mate with them, and now she was plagued by dreams, unable to forgive herself she doubted that the dreams or her own guilt would ever stop.
push it inBut as the jade eyed lady had awoken so abruptly, before the sun had even begun to rise over the horizon, she had decided to go for a walk, she had slung her canvas bag across her shoulder and made her way towards the city. After all she had been planning to increase the library in the manor since the first time she visited the lands, since her son had been the Alpha there and she remembered where she could get the books from, the University. And so she had begun to make her way, walking quickly, the pair of silver hoops in her left ear twinkling as the sun had finally begun to rise. As she walked she was already planning which books she would collect, she would find herself some more music books for her flute, she hadn't played it enough in such a long time, she had decided to start again. And she would bring some novels back, some picture-filled story books for the pups, she would get them involved in reading whilst they were still young, she wanted them to be as enthusiastic about literature as she was, she wanted to teach them to read. She was sure that they would be heavy but that wouldn't matter, she had no problem carrying them back to the manor, her canvas bag would hold them and it would be worth carrying them back, the rewards would be much greater than the awkwardness to bring them back.
push it inAnd as the tall lady thought about what she would bring back, what she would read to the pups first she caught a familiar scent. Her heart skipped a beat at the same time her stomach turned, a sudden rush of overwhelming motherly love mixed with the sudden nausea at the memory of what her eldest boy had done. But still, despite knowing what had gone on between him and Naniko, she couldn't stop her first instinct, the instinct to run to her boy. And so she did, her feet moving rapidly, racing through the lands until she skidded to a halt in front of him. He looked so different, a shadow of his former self, withered away, like a house that had been burnt to the ground, just the charred remains of what it had been. And suddenly she knew, she had wondered whether she'd be able to stand seeing him, knowing what he had done, she had wondered if she would be able to stand before him and still love him. But at that moment, looking at him, her baby, her child who seemed so broken, so lost, so frail, she knew, she loved him still, she had the overwhelming urge to mother him, to care for him.
“Conri?” She muttered, moving closer to her broken baby.
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No problem. 8D I'm good, trying to get back in the swing of things even though I'm working a ton and things are hectic because of Christmas and such. XD
Dry eyes rolled carefully in his skull, sliding this way and that before finally settling upward, staring at the trees that shrouded him. They continued to whisper above him, none-the-wiser that the sickly hybrid might be listening in, and Conri gave a twitch of his ear at this fact. It must have been some type of code, something that other species wouldn't be able to figure out immediately if they just so happened to come across the birds and be able to understand them. Luckily for Conri, he could remember the little things, and would remember the secrets that they passed when he finally managed to figure out their code. The chirping and singing stopped suddenly, drew hushed and then finally disappeared, and Conri drew his gaze back to the forest, where he could hear the sound of footfalls growing near.
She came then, like a ghost in the morning fog, until the point that she stood in front of him. Jade eyes watched her a moment, studied her, but there was no recognition there. A phantom was what she was, he was almost certain. Could this be what the birds whispered of? It changed when she spoke, the quiet caring of her voice even though her eyes seemed torn. That went away also, though. As he sat watching her, something in his head snapped, and there was a sudden hint of recognition there.
Eyes welled up with tears suddenly and flayed ears splayed out to the sides in sadness. "Momma?" He asked suddenly, teeth clenched as he spoke, because he knew he didn't deserve to say such a word. He wanted to scream at her, to tell her to turn and run away while she could, before he managed to hurt her also. Conri knew it was to late for that though, that he had already hurt her in the worst way possible. "I'm sorry Momma.." But sorry would never be enough.
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I'm glad that you're ok  And I know about christmas being hectic, I have like 10 presents left to buy and have now officially run out of money :S
The ebony lady stood before her son, swaying slightly, unsure what to do, there was no recognition in his eyes, he was more broken than she thought, he didn't even recognise the woman who had given him life. As she watched him her heart ached, her red boy looked even more destroyed than he ever had, even when he had killed Hollow, even when he had accidentally brought death upon his father, he had not seemed this ruined, filled with guilt and remorse yes, but Soran did not recall any moment when he had just sat there slumped, to her he had the look of a man whose whole world had crumbled away from under his feet. Sorrow brimmed in the the dark lady's own eyes, she had wondered if she'd hate him for what he'd done, she had wondered if she'd ever be able to forgive him, but looking at him now, nothing but love and pity filled her, she wanted to hide him away and protect him. She did not know what she wanted to protect her red boy from though, the world had indeed turned him this way, it was cruel and unloving and he was a victim of this, but what he had done he had done himself, he had taken Naniko by force, hurt her, abused the love she had had for him, she did not know if she could protect him from the darkness inside himself.
And then as the obsidian female watched, she saw the change in him, the realisation in his eyes, the way his expression changed, he knew her, for a long moment she had been certain that he had no idea who she was, she wondered if he would attack her with the wooden bat stretched across his lap, or chase her away, for she had no idea what he was capable of now... would he attack a stranger? Then again he had attacked his mate, the female that he loved, why not his own mother? It was a worrying idea, but a valid one none the less, but she doubted that he would harm her, she used her hope that somewhere buried in the ashes the real Conri, the Conri that she knew was there still to quash the fears and waited for him to speak. To show some sign that he did indeed know her, though his eyes gave a lot away and the sudden change in the way his ears were postured, the sorrow now eminated from him and the ebony lady's heartache increased tenfold, she just wanted to look after her boy. She wished that she could go back in time and change what had happened, perhaps if he had been feeling so much anger that he wanted to attack someone he could have come to her if she had stayed. Soran wished beyond everything that she had stayed now, she had let all of this happen simply by turning her back on her family, she had been selfish because she had done something evil, undoubtedly evil, she had killed her youngest son whe he had been tiny and feeble and helpless... and without crime as well. And she had allowed herself to be blinded by her own guilt and grief, she had allowed herself to wander the lands, being of no use to anyone, even herself, and while she had been gone all of this happened. She hated herself for leaving her red boy when he was going to need him most.
In a jarring thought the ebony fae wondered if this had been what she looked like, Conri looked like he had not eaten for weeks, that he had not washed in that time either, his eyes had been blank and lifeless, she knew that when she had found out what she had done that she had retreated into herself, she had been less than a shell of her former self. She wondered if this was how she had been, gaunt and weak, dishevelled and dirty, not really registering anything around her and not caring when she did, she had the worrying thought that she might have been looking into what she herself had been only a month ago. And then Conri spoke and she felt herself shudder, his voice was so different from the happy one it had been, the warm tones were all gone, it was raspy, weak and filled with such pain. Despite the worry and disgust the ebony fae felt towards Conri, despite worrying that he may hurt her and hating the crime that he had committed she was unable to stop the sudden maternal love that bubbled through her chest spreading to her limbs. She sprung forwards, throwing her dark arms around his slight frame, silent concern washing through her as she felt how frail he was beneath the muscles of her own body, she knelt beside him, holding him tightly.
"I know that you are sweetheart, I know that you're sorry.” She whispered, her own eyes welling up with salty tears. "And so am I
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Sounds about right. XD I've got $15 left to do me until my next paycheck, spent everything else on Christmas. XD
He wondered, for a very short moment, if she would strike him. If she would grab him and scream at him and yell until her lungs could burst. In a way, he wanted her to. He deserved it, just like he had deserved it when Savina had attacked him that day. He should have stayed that day, at the edges of Twilight Vale, and been persistent. Savina would have had to kill him then and, perhaps, things would have been better off that way, for everyone. Instead Conri had degraded into nothing more than a useless bag of bones, just a burden on anyone and anything that happened across him.
She came at him suddenly and Conri responded by taking in a quick breath, holding it there to ready himself for whatever might come. Instead a good beating, which he wouldn't ever blame her for giving him, he was met with embrace instead. The warmth was odd against his cold skin, it felt unnatural and wrong, and for a brief moment it turned his stomach sour and made it feel as if it was flipping over itself. He wasn't sure what to think or how to react, but finally he exhaled and leaned in to her just a bit. He never expected to feel love again but he could feel it plainly from the woman who knelled at his side, even if he wasn't deserving of her love.
Finally, Conri leaned himself back again, resting his head back against the tree. Deuce wouldn't do it when he had asked her to. Savina hadn't done it, but maybe she would. Maybe the one woman who had been wronged and understood, who had seen what he had the potential to become, maybe she would do it. His hand moved across the bat, pushing from his lap and to the ground to lay in front of his mother. "Do it Momma.." It was all he could manage to say before closing his eyes, resting his hand still in his lap. She could bash his head in right there and save the world, it was just that simple.
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Hey, so sorry for the wait, Christmas and New year has been crazy (so much family kept appearing to spend time with us) and the laptop has been playing up again.
pushitinSoran felt warm salty tears begin to trickle down her cheeks as she held her red boy. The small rivers of tears wet her dark fur as she looked at her boy, so broken, such a shadow of what he had been, for this she would always blame Hollow, for although he had given her the joy of having her eldest son, he had been cruel, he had taken him and he had spawned that psychotic child that had taken Conri and tortured him, surely that had had some effect on her boy's behaviour. Yes, Conri's father had a lot to answer for, more than a lot, had he not already had karma take its revenge upon him, taking his life from him, the ebony lady was sure that she would have hunted him down and killed him after seeing her boy this way, so broken. Her shoulders shook slightly as she cried, silent sobs, for what Conri had lost, for what she had lost, for what the world had done to them in it's cruel twisted way. She wished that she could bundle her son up in her arms and take him away from all of this, take him to a safe place where he would never be hurt again, she wished that she could turn back the clock and take back all of her leaving, so much would not have happened had she been here, she would have been able to fight off Stygian, she would have been here to stop Conri raping Nani, but she wasn't there... and there was nothing she could do that would ever change that. The thought made the ebony grandmother cry even harder.
pushitinAnd then Conri did something that she had never expected, not from him, not even after all that he had been through, he rolled the baseball bat toward her and asked her to kill him. The ebony fae's heart broke at that moment, realising that her son had been reduced to what she had been when she had been pregnant with him, a suicidal wreck, for that was what she had been, she had injected and drunk everything she could in order to forget everything, the pain, the sorrow and the guilt, she had waited for the darkness to engulf her, she had awaited that blissful day when she slipped beneath the veil of consiousness for the last time, ebbing away from life. It killed her to know that Conri was having similar thoughts to her, that he actually wanted to end it all. Part of the lady was so pained that her son, her baby had been reduced to this, just a shell of himself, waiting for someone to come along and end all of the pain, but part of her was angry, surely he knew that there were better ways than this? Surely he knew better than to just give up? After all she had not, and despite all the pain living had caused her, it had also brought her immense joy, it had brought her three children, two of whom she was proud of and loved desperately, the third she was unsure of, and it had brought her grandchildren, who were little specks of wonder in the dark pit that was life. How could her son ask her to do that? How could he expect her to end all of what he was? To just let go of her eldest son, her darling boy?
pushitinWith shaking hands the lady reached for the baseball bat that lay across her son's lap, her fingers closed around the cool smooth wood and her eyes darkened. With the slow deathly movements of an executioner she stood, lifting the baseball bat onto her shoulder. She stooped slightly, her dark lips planting a tender kiss upon her son's forehead and then she straightened up, and tensed her muscles, raising the baseball bat, the weapon of death, high over her shoulder. She swung it deliberately and quickly, instead of aiming for her red boy she swung it high, letting it go at the apex of it's swing, the wooden bat flew from her hands and through the air, flying through the trees. Soran took a deep breath and turned back to her son.
"How?! How could you ask me to do that Conri?”
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She placed a tender kiss there on his head, something like she had done long ago when he was a child. It brought a motherly sort of feeling with it, filled with love and everything that was right with the world. Conri wasn't deserving of such a kiss, that he knew for sure, but it was to be expected from a mother who was about to take the life of her eldest child. A child that had gone down a path that wasn't meant for him. Or maybe, it was meant for him. It was his punishment for taking the life of a man, murderer and rapist or not, that may not have been meant to go so soon. He was destined to go down the path that his father was meant to take, at least in his mind, because he had taken the man's life.
Resting against the tree with his eyes closed, he was painfully aware. He could hear the faint movements that she made as she stood, feet crunching in the light snow beneath them, and then the bat as it cut through the air the first time. It was a faint sound, he could barely hear it, but it was quickly taken over by a louder sound, slicing the air as she moved to swing it. Knowing what he knew, that he had asked his own mother to take his life, that the bat could be coming down against his skull at any moment, Conri didn't even flinch. He sat still, rather, only breathing lightly and, when he thought that it all might be over, he breathed something of a sigh of relief.
The crack of the bat never came though, he could hear it in the air again and then, soon after that moment, he could hear it clattering against a tree in the distance. Pained eyes opened and sought out her form just as she spoke and Conri could only frown. He should have known there wasn't an easy way out. "I don't want to hurt anyone." And it was really as simple as that. His father had hurt many and now Conri had raped his own mate, he had taken lives. How many now? Two? Three? He couldn't really remember anymore, all he knew was that anything else might be prevented if his mother could take pity on him and kill him.
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I am so sorry for the wait on this hun, it's been crazy over here with exams and snow and all sorts!
pushitinSoran looked down at the pathetic mess her son had become, and she pitied him, of course she did, seeing her son fallen so far from grace, so far away from the heaven she had always hoped for him. But despite this she could no kill him, even if it were to be a mercy killing, she loved him too much, he was the one child she had that she had spent quality time with, she was the only one whos childhood she did not regret, he was her little saviour, her little shining light. Perhaps her motives were selfish, she needed him to live, she couldn't cope without him and so she would not kill him today or any day, no matter how much he felt he deserved it. So, in a mother's pure loving cruelty, she would keep him alive, drag him through the days until time healed him, because she loved him and she knew that it was for the best, even if he were to disagree with her views, she knew that it was the right thing, he was such a potential shining light, she couldn't be without him, the World couldn't be without him. The ebony mother would help him become what he was always meant to be, she knew there was good in him yet, she could see it in him still. The remorse in his eyes spoke volumes, he was not evil as he thought, he could not be, not while he still had guilt, unlike Hollow and Dhalia he knew that he had done wrong, the ebony lady doubted that he had laughed and jeered and been proud of his actions, as his evil father and psychotic sister would have been.
pushitinAs Conri spoke his dark mother fell to her knees beside him again, her hand reaching for the soft fur of his cheek, touching her palm to it lightly with as much gentleness as she could muster. Here he was, broken, with many evil acts under his belt, but here he was, her son.
"You wont hurt anyone else my darling, we can make sure of that together, I can help you. I want to help you, despite all you have done I still love you. I need you to be around Conri, you used to be the thing that kept me going you know, when my whole world had fallen apart, let me be that for you, let your pups be that for you. Please. Just don't give up yet. There are still ways to be good again my son. Redemption is not an impossible task. You just can't give up, I need you here, your pups need you here, there is so much left for you to do, I just know it.” Soran pleased with her son, her dark hand still resting upon his cheek, her green eyes brimming with tears as she though about losing him, she couldn't bear it, the idea of a world without him.
"You're not your father Conri, you're nothing like him, you're not cruel or viscious like he was, you're not weak enough to die so easily... You're better than him, prove it." She whispered in his ear, before leanign away from him again, moving to kneel in front of him, her head bowed.
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