In a place I could not find, nor heart obey
#1
1. Character Name: Pepe Sadira
2. Character Birthdate (including year): I don't remember! But lets just say January 23, 2007
3. Whether s/he is a regular wolf or a Luperci : Luperci
4. Gender: Man
5. Your e-mail: waywardsonsays@yahoo.com
6. A secondary form of contact (AIM, MSN, Y!M): wayward son says
7. How did you learn/hear about 'Souls?: Used to be here.


It was cold, and the landscape wasn't anything like he remembered. He walked carefully across the snowy lands. The soft, cold storm of white made him blend in. His pelt was the color of the snow that fell silently and covered the ground. Beneath his feet it crunched. He walked with his ears up like the sails of a ship, searching for a sound. He pressed his nose to the ground, seeking a scent from so long ago. He knew these lands were not like the ones he had lived in before.

When he had tried to find the lands of his childhood, they had been twisted and dead. Obviously some tragedy had fallen there. His heart contracted in his chest with guilt, almost killing his hope. But he had to hope. He had to believe that he would find her again, or else all his efforts would have been for nothing. He chose to hope, although his deep ocean blue eyes were hard and shiny with emotion.

His heart fluttered when he thought he caught a whiff of a familiar scent. But he couldn't be sure. And what if Iskata didn't want to see him again? He had left without a word. It had hurt him to leave, although it hadn't been his intention. He had been lost. But still, he hoped that there was still love for him in the heart of the wolf he still called his mother.
#2
Iskata had been laying on the porch again, wrapped in blankets the silvery slate grandchild had placed about her. While Skylar sat on the edge of the porch and tried to catch snowflakes on her tongue Iskata was sitting there in her own world. The wind brought the scents of the packlands to her as she yearned to pace along the lands and roam the borders. IT had almost been half a moon since the 'accident' and the healing wounds itched as her binding tore at her soul. She wanted to be free of the confinements and the blindness that had claimed her sky orbs far too early than they should have. Life was cruel, but this wait was even cruel to the Matriarch.

Her sightless eyes stared off into space as a strange yet familiar scent hit her nose. Raising her head quickly she attempted to rise from the blankets, the tug at the stiches was ignored as she limped to the edge of the porch. The protests of Skylar, who was so suddenly beside her and trying to turn her away was ignored as she tried to place a face and a memory with the strange scent. The pain brought tears to her eyes as she took the steps one by one and pressed on towards the borders where the drifting scent was coming from.

Skylar rolled her eyes, though her grandmother couldn't see and piped up softly. "Wait.. you're.. gonna need me.." she regretted the words before she'd even finished saying them but there was little to be said but the truth and she'd always been told to be truthful when possible. She saw the Matriarch square her shoulders in determination as she moved in that lurching gate towards the edge of their lands. Lifting her nose she caught the scent of a strange and assumed that what what her elder was after. Moving alongside her grandmother Skylar let her silky tail brush against Iskata's foreleg and shoulder as she paced the woman, not letting her roam too far off her mark.

Iskata was quiet as she felt the ever so soft guiding presence beside her, yet before she could come to realize that she had arrived the silky touch disappeared as she felt Skylar shuffle uncomfortable beside her. Iskata turned her face towards the owner of the scent, the brilliant red scars of the bear's claws that had clouded her vision were brilliant against her silvery gold fur as she called out. "Hello.." It had slowly begun to come back to her but she wasn't certain as she questioned him. "Pepe?..." the disbelief was more than apparent as she tried to stand strong in the face of knowing she must look horrible in the eyes of the stranger whom she couldn't even see.
#3
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OOC Edit: Stupid Gwen had her Account permanently logged in to my computer. im sorry. - tom



Mom.

He could hardly believe his eyes or his ears. He stood, frozen in memory, frozen because he couldn't get enough air in his lungs to take a full breath. He had dared to believe and it seemed that reality had dared prove him right. He just didn't know what to do. His heart pounded in his head. He felt nervous, happy, confused, and disbeliefing all at once.

The familiar, comforting scent filled his senses and he smiled widely with the serious expression leaving his face. He had grown older while he had been gone. He was no longer the gangly stick thin pup. He had grown to be a large male and he was nearing his prime. He chest and shoulders were broad and muscled with strength and his blue eyes no longer bugged out of his head like they didn't fit there. He was much taller too and had grown into his paws.

He saw Iskata walking through the snow and he knew for certain his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. She was still that beautiful golden color that he remembered, which had led him to calling her his Firefly when he had been a pup. He saw that there was a younger wolf also following her and that she seemed to be helping Iskata. This startled him and his tail lowered to the ground, his ears were swiveling.

"Yes, Mo-ma'am," he had almost slipped up by calling her mom. He bent closer to her, unsure of whether or not he should be close to her. Did she hate him? "I missed you so much," he said with strain in his voice, needing to tell her the truth even if she didn't want to listen to him anymore. "What happened to you?"


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#4
Inspite of the pain that seemed to have surrounded her life as of lately the memories of the small child who'd loved insects so freely had brought a slight smile to her lips when he confirmed what she'd only been hoping. She felt Skylar shift and move away from the two as he asked of her condition. Her ears flicked back as the happy memories were wiped away with a quick brisk brush of the slate as she shook her head. She couldn't even come to admit to them all the full story, the truth of how she'd been cornered in the entrance to the bear's den and held there long enough for the bear to get his claws into her flesh as the bastard flitted from sight.

Wrapping her tail around her bad leg she shifted all her weight to one side as she frowned. "It was an accident.." she said sadly. "I ran into a bear outside our territory." There was really nothing more to talk about. She'd survived, not by much but she was still here to tell the tale. She shifted her sightless eyes to the side, catching the sounds of Skylar as she began to lay down in the snow, hoping that the girl wouldn't pipe up with the rest of the story, of how close she'd come to not being here. No words came though and Iskata turned back to the scent of the boy, now a full grown.

Her weak smile returned as she tried to push it all aside, "I've missed you too Pepe.." she said, wishing that she wasn't in the state she was, wanting to rush forward and find comfort in a lost child now returned. She asked instead, "Where did the winds take my little Bumblebee?" So often he'd played at being bugs, bees, flies, crickets and hoppers. All sorts of bugs she'd have to avoid trampling with the pup underfoot at the same time. It was amusing but tough work still... but he was here now and she hoped it was for good..
#5
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"Funny you should mention bumble bees..." Pepe said "That's what got me lost from Storm. I got too curious around a beehive. The bees swarmed out all around my face and stung me. I couldn't see anything. I ran for a long time, until they left me alone. But my face was too swollen for me to open my eyes. I wandered around for days until I could finally see, and when I could open my eyes, I couldn't recognize any sight or scent." No. He didn't like those memories one bit. The normally gentle puppy back then wouldn't have dreamed of hurting a bug. But he had been so enraged after the bees had driven him away from Storm that he had ripped the wings off of the next bumble bee he had seen. He remembered that he had cried then, both because he was sad and missed his family, but also because he felt like he lost of part of himself that made it so easy to love everything. That experience had changed him.

He looked at her face and the red lines from the bear attack. A low grumble came from his throat, very low but a definite sign of anger toward the animal that had done this to his mother. But he stopped all of that at once. He didn’t want anything to cloud this perfect moment. He had searched and searched and waited forever. Now he could make things right again. He remembered the happier times when Iskata and Phoenix had been expecting a new litter of puppies in Storm and how accepting Iskata had been of his eccentricities. It seemed like all of his happy memories had her as their shining center.

He came close to her and very carefully rubbed his nose against her ruff and tried to avoid the clawmarks. He breathed in her wonderful and familiar scent and he whispered to her. ”I would go the whole world just to find you, Firefly lady. I am so sorry it took me so long.”

There was a little choke in his voice, but the words were steady and solid. And he meant them. If he could help it, he would never ever leave her again.


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#6
She should have figured that the boy wouldn't have left on his own, when he was young he seemed so happy and alive that she had been heartbroken when the small boy had disappeared from her life. To hear the story outloud made her wince to try and imagine what it must have been like to be lost and alone after having belonged somewhere. She knew if she did actually stop to think about it she would realize she knew how he felt already, her very life now felt so wrong, she felt so lost and alone, even in the mists of it all. She managed another slight smile as she admitted. "I'm glad you found your way back Pepe.." Iskata knew once that their family had been complete, a mother, a father and children.. now they were scattered to the wind and few remained close though deep down she knew they'd always be family. Now though the father had disappeared to the winds and it was Iskata alone who stood to greet the long lost child.

The soft growl that had emerged as she spoke of the accident made her pause a moment and yet it seemed that the so abrupt noise disappeared just as quickly. She cast her face to the side, she could tell he was sizing up the damage that had been done to her and she knew that she was no beauty to the eyes anymore... but everything had already happened and there was nothing that could be done to change the past. Her paws worked at the snowy ground below her as she came to realize that she really didn't know what to do anymore. Here she was one of the leaders of the pack and yet she had to be lead to and fro.. she couldn't see to patrol the borders and there was nothing she could do to help with the chores that came with working the lands anymore. A heavy weight lay in the pit of her stomach as the truth of it all came raining down.

Wrapped up in her own sorrows the scent of the grown child and the gentle nuzzle were almost too much as his soft whisper met her ears. She shook her head softly, almost about to weep as she said, "I'm not the Firefly lady anymore.." her words sad, [b]"that would be my daughter.." She turned her eyes towards Skylar as she was wrapped by the scent of Pepe, so familiar and yet so strange now. "This.. is Skylar, DaVinci's daughter.. my granddaughter." It was strange to admit such things, to realize over and over again that she was a grandmother. It was a happy feeling and yet as well after the accident it made her feel outdated. She turned those blood tinted orbs back to Pepe as she tried to offer him a real smile. "You're here now.. that's what matters Pepe.."

She heard Skylar move, probably in relation to having been announced to Pepe and offering her own greeting to the male. Iskata was quiet a moment and allowed the two the chance to exchange their own greetings, when Skylar had finished she asked softly. "Have you truly came home Pepe?" She didn't want to get her hopes up but she wanted him there.. more than anything she needed her family more than ever now. She'd lost enough with her sight and usefulness to their pack.. to have the family disappear as well would be the death of her.
#7
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Pepe listened as Iskata spoke. She sounded so sad, as if that sadness seeped into her core being. He didn't remember the vibrant woman sounding like that in the past. Even though when he was a puppy he could tell she was a little troubled when they first met, she had become so content afterward. The white male remembered Phoenix and Moon and Sun, and how Iskata had been expecting a new litter of puppies. If Phoenix had still been around, he would never have let anything bad happen to his mate, Pepe decided. So Phoenix must have scattered to the winds like he had. He wondered where the man was, but he didn't want to ask Iskata. She seemed so sad already.

His ears pricked up as she spoke of her daughter. "The puppies!" he said. "I guess they'd be full grown now. For some reason I expected they'd still be small. Did you name your daughter Firefly?" It warmed his heart to think of it. That maybe even though he had been gone, he still remained in his mother's heart enough for her to remember what he used to call her. And to think enough of that name to pass it on to her daughter. He drew away from the cocoon of Iskata's comforting and familiar scent enough to smile and nod at Skylar. He was very grateful for her taking such obviously good care of the woman they both loved. It showed on his face.

"You'll always be my firefly, Iskata. My light in the dark." he said.He turned back to the gold and silver lady. "I want to stay here, with you. I want my life to be the way it should have been..." He hesitated. "If you'll have me."


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#8
Iskata's world had been sad for a length of time after returning back to the lands and finding their old home in ruins. Over time though the world had opened up before her and hope had restored the woman to her once happy and carefree nature.. the accident had marred the woman spiritually and physically and now it seemed that she was falling once more into the painful loop that was the phoenix's death and rebirth. She lowered her sightless gaze as Pepe began to speak, asking of better times and the life he'd missed out on.

She smiled wistfully as she shook her head. "They are grown and have lives of their own in different packs... old enough to have mates of their own and thinking of families too.." A weak sigh drifted from her lips as she nodded at the last question he had asked. "I named her Firefly.. and she's even more one than I am.." The young girls brilliant coat was like gold in the light, the cast of bronze making it even more amazing. While Iskata's own tones paled beside her daughters she never was jealous. There was nothing she cared for when it came to beauty, though she herself had once been vain. It would have been so funny now.. if she could even pause to imagine it all... but nowadays there was nothing she could see when she tried to look beyond the darkness.

She drew back when the sudden warmth of his touch disappeared. She knew he was still there and yet it scared her that one could be so close and yet you still felt so lost. The gentle words of her young man filled the air as she felt a tear slide down her cheek. "I could never turn you away Pepe.. as long as I'm here there will be a home for you." It was the only thing in her power, the only thing she could do. She was useless on the borders now, she was useless on the hunt and in a fight. She could make him one of their own and she would.

Moving forward slowly until her nose pressed against his fur the Matriarch said softly. "Welcome to Phoenix Valley.."
#9
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You're always gonna be home to me. He didn't say those words. He couldn't really. He was all choked up once again and he didn't really want to show it. How his world could turn around in the space of an hour just floored him completely. He wanted to scream in triumph. He wanted to embrace Iskata and never let her go. He wanted to run in a million directions, but instead he stead there still as stone. He didn't want the moment to pass him by. He wanted to remember.

"Phoenix Valley, huh?" he said, after a minute. He liked the name - it reminded him of his would-be father figure. He had never really grown close to Phoenix, though he had liked him after a while. He remembered how jealous he had been of the older brown man spending time with Iskata. But he knew for a time that the man had made Iskata happy, so he would remember him with some fondness.

He suddenly turned very serious. "Mom, I know I've been gone a long time. But I wanted to ask you, if I could be Pepe Sadira." He hadn't called himself Pepe Sadira since he left Bleeding Souls. But he always felt as though being a Sadira was part of his identity. He wouldn't feel right calling himself Pepe Sadira unless she said it was okay though. It was important to him.


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#10
She smiled unseeing at the boy who was now a man, she wished she could see how he turned out, the pain and ache in her heart and soul telling her she'd know this feeling too often in the near future until she grew numb to the pain or learned to embrace it. Either way it was going to be a long hard winter. When he spoke of the name to the packlands she wrinkled her nose and admitted. "I didn't name the lands, Deuce did.. though it's fitting.. after the fire and all." Though she didn't like the constant reminded of the male that had left her far behind on his crusaide the pack had been like the fire bird, their past lives dying in the flames and from the ashes they were reborn.

Iskata could sense the sudden change in his voice as he spoke on. She flicked back her ears at the worlds he spoke and for a moment she almost had blurted out, asking why in the world he wanted to be a Sadira, but instead she just sighed softly and smiled once more for the creamy ivory boy. "You'll be inviting yourself into a huge and strange family if you do that.." she warned him, the words were backed up by a giggle from the younger Sadira girl who didn't share the name, but the blood coursed through those veins.

The silver and gold lady's ears flicked to catch the soft sound of her granddaughter's laughter as she nodded to Pepe. "Sadira it is, but don't expect me to take you on tour to meet all the relatives you've collected now Pepe." she teased softly, another reminder of what she could and couldn't do. She'd love to introduce him to the family, the other packs and the puppies that were just brought into the world and the ones to come.. but she couldn't... she never would again see the beauty of a newborn child. She tried to push thr thoughts aside, this was suppose to be a happy reunion..
#11
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__Out of character speech.



It seemed there was a story behind the name of his new pack, but not the story he had been thinking. He didn't like the note in her voice as she steered away from the topic. He wondered what might have happened once more. He felt a pressure in his chest, an unreleased rumble of a growl lurking there. But he swallowed it down, not wanting to startle her again. The last thing this reunion needed was the note of anger. There was already negativity in the air, lurking just beneath Iskata's smile. He was sure of it.



"Strangeness is just the spice of life," he said and laughed. Honestly, he was relieved when she didn't say no to his request. He hadn't really expected her to, but it was nice to hear her acceptance. It was all he had ever really wanted How big was the Sadira family now? He never really thought much about it before. He knew that there was Iskata, her litter, and Davinci. And apparently Davinci had had at least one puppy. The white man had no idea what he was getting into.




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#12
-ooc, close?-

Iskata knew how protective the young Sadira had been over her when he was younger but now it seemed that he hadn't outgrown that factor. She smiled weakly at the thought as she turned her face away, she could feel the weak rays of sunlight on her muzzle and across her brow but she couldn't see the glory of it all. Closing those sightless eyes she just sighed softly and began to move away, flicking Pepe softly across the side with her tail as she wished him to join her.

Skylar moved to one side of the woman and watched Pepe for a moment. She knew she really wasn't needed anymore but she'd grown so use to being around her grandmother that she wasn't exactly ready to move away yet. When he laughed after the small little comment he'd granted Iskata she wrinkled her nose, she didn't want any strange new surprises popping up just yet. Iskata had stopped suddenly, causing Skylar to be standing before her as Pepe was lingering behind, the voice of her grandmother making her ears flick back as she listened.

Her ears twitched slightly as she smiled at Pepe. "Just keep that spice in moderation.." she said lightly as she shook her head and asked. "Are you ready to.. see your new home..." The words were bitter tasting in her mouth as she titled her head towards the lands that were their home.
#13
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__Out of character speech. Yeah, lets end it here. Smile



Pepe felt as though he was seeing the sun after a long cold winter. He had never imagined things could turn around so quickly. But there she was. Maybe not the woman that he remembered, but the woman he would love regardless. He wasn't sure that there was anything Iskata could do to change the way he felt toward his mother. She would always be beautiful to him.

"I would really like to see our home!" he said with excitement. He felt like the young bugloving pup he had been before getting lost, before the fire, before the world had turned a million times and changed. Bouncing slightly, his tail wagging madly, he gently nudged Iskata to show her that he was ready.

This was an adventure he felt as though he had waited his entire life for.

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#14
Welcome to 'Souls!

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___1. Make your first IC post within five days.
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