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700+, Private
He had taken care to avoid the stronger traces of the marked female’s aroma. Truth was of course that the scent was somewhat a drug to him as they revived the scene of a night with two bodies entwined together so tight. The Lilium of Dahlia de Mai was a simple creature with a hollow heart, so whenever these rare moments where a light flickered and made his heart beat happened, a teasing echo remained to remind him of what he could never have. Usually he had discovered it was more the thrill of the hunt that intrigued him, and not the reward itself. The cocoa male was actually not sure any longer. He and Firefly had collided so often lately. There was nothing left of what was sacred, if it were, he was sure they would break it. He held the largest portion of the blame, but Haku could not change what he was. The poison had dug deep into the relationship with his mate, and he was far from a medic. Haku did not fix things, his way was to trash them to the ground and eliminate the obstacles. Such a tactic could not be used here, and it steadily increased the general feeling of frustration the male was collecting these days.
He had approached the velvet female’s fresh den as silent and unnoticed as a prowling cat. The odd obsession about Cwmfen nic Graine seemed to find its strength in the night. His paws had danced around in the snow on the way to the female’s home, choosing their path carefully to not accidentally crack a hidden twig, or make a dump sound in fresh and slightly sodden snow. He was a black silhouette in a scenery pained in white and black with puffy snowflakes doing pirouettes all around him. His ears flickered gently and sought the back of his chocolate skull. The cottage where he had come from was cold. Firefly was merciful and left him be, and he was grateful. The snivelling devil of a child was acceptable company, but safe asleep snoring like a whale in the room she had claimed as hers after he had made the mistake to lock her in there the first day when she had arrived in Dahlia. Haku did not know how to act around her, to be honest, because he knew little of how to truly act like a parent. The word parent and puppy was worse than any curse word. He was in the middle of it all.
A slight crack from above sent his face up to gaze into the dark branches of the guilty tree. That was right; Cwmfen had a little feathery pet, did she not? Even though his eyes were remarkably efficient in poor light, he could catch no movement. His hackles rose slightly as a chilly breath from the wind made an attempt to get under his skin. It was cold, even for the man with the arctic genes. Fair enough, the male could survive stronger cold with ease, but he preferred a decent temperature a few grades above that of this chilly night. This was foolish. It was an odd time of the day to show up at her doorstep, and he was actually not certain that she was here at all. The brown and vanilla coated neck stretched slightly as he lowered his face to gaze down into the darkness of the den. His nostrils flared as the strong scent seemed to cluster his arteries painfully together with additional anticipation. Anyone home? The male’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, only slightly bolder than the silence that ruled the sleeping land. He should not have come.
The air between them had been cool enough during the pack hunt, but Haku always looked for more. If he could not detect it, imagining it could be a possibility. He gave a mental sigh at himself, because truth was he did not know why he was here. There was nothing right about this. It was just a question of time before he lost control over his swollen up mate, but with a large belly and later children, he assumed she would be relatively easy to have under control. He had halfway forgotten what they once had had, so he cared less of what would become of her than he should. Right now nothing mattered but this.
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700+
Cwmfen nic Graine lay alone in that earthen abode. The she-wolf had decided to dwell in her den this night, for the temperatures had begun to drop once more. The night was dreamless, and she slept now in a comfortable darkness, untroubled by the heartaches of the day-world. Her breathing was slow and level, barely audible, and the whisper of her life seemed insignificant in the dark dwelling. The air about her was soft and warm, for the heat radiating from her flowed lazily in tendrils about the chamber. The black fae’s body was tired—though not quite exhausted—for the early hours of the day had been spent in rigorous self training. Often, she spent her days thus, for it kept her mind busy—occupied with the breathing and rhythms of her body. Especially after the hunt, the female had needed such preoccupations to still her free and wild heart, and each night since she had slept heavily and alone. Having worked herself to near exhaustion, she slept even now, and her roaming heart slowed for those few hours of sleep.
The one-eyed Raven roosted in the branches above the large tree whose roots were intertwined in the earth about the warrior. The pied bird was awake, his one eye watching the approaching shadow in silence. The black bird was still, as lithic as the unmoving hearts of stone. The single eye observed what he now understood to be the Lilium of the pack, and his silent, keen mind found this approach intriguing. Yet, he remained silent, thinking only of the female that lay dormant in the earth below.
She dreamt then. The light was permitted through the fluttering of the Raven’s wings as they parted, and his crawing echoed in her cleared mind. His feathers brushed against her maw, a gentle yet urging touch that moved her to stir. Yet, through the flurry of the feathers, it was difficult to see, and she caught only the faint memory of a form and scent. So when Haku Soul whispered in the dark, the female had already begun to resurface from her dark oblivion. His whispered call cut into her drowsy mind. The white orbs opened, now fully awake. The prone female lay there for several moments, listening in the darkness. Was it part of the dream? The female was unsure, and she lifted her head from the earth, as she turned to consider the mouth of the tunnel. The faint air that came from the world above brought a faint but fresh scent—the same one from her dream. She recognized it immediately, and something caught in her. But before she could think otherwise, she had risen and was making her way to the mouth of her den.
It was not long before the woad-marked wolf appeared at the entrance. The white eyes immediately beheld the form that stood before her, and she stopped, hesitating at the threshold. Her heart skipped a beat as Fear tickled her. Why is he here? All her hard work to keep herself in that strenuous preoccupation crumbled as she breathed in his scent. Slowly, the she wolf let out a quivering breath, but she could not move from the threshold. "Haku!" the silver toned melody breathed. "I must admit.... I’m surprised to see you." Her voice was quiet, curious. She wondered what the Lilium was doing at her doorstep. Memories of her Long Nights came uncalled to her mind, and she blushed. Hoping that he wouldn’t notice, she looked away (having found that her gaze had been locked on his blue eyes) and slowly stepped out from the tunnel. The full cold of the night ran its fingers through her fur, and she shivered, for she had been accustom to the warmth of sleep.
The woad warrior felt a longing rip at her soul as she looked back to the mocha-cream male. But she simply said, "I haven’t really made myself presentable—what brings you here?" As she spoke in a deliberately vague way, the black female brushed a paw over her head an ears in an attempt to rearrange her fur. As she did so, the white orbs stole a glance at the male, and she found that she was as timid a creature as she ever was.
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700+
The Sadira male did not allow any movement as he stood at the entrance of the den. Maybe if he kept still and closed his eyes time would stop and prevent him from going on with this. Moment passed and fooled the male into believing that he could manipulate time. A soft sound from the dark hole caused his chocolate ears to perk forward. An invisible switch was turned around and his blood started to heat up in an uncomfortable pace. The brute’s body flung itself a few feet backwards from the den mouth when he fully realized that he actually had found her. The long forgotten coward somewhere inside of him wanted to flee the scene, but such a move was far from an option. He had found her and exposed himself. He would just have to face it and try to not stumble. When the jet black figure with the unique markings and dazzling eyes finally rose up, his eyes were unmercifully glued to her and refused to find shelter elsewhere. A light ache in his chest made him realize that he had held his breath, so a silent yet long sigh emptied him before he started to breathe once again. Every breath teased him with her natural perfume.
Too concerned about himself and his own posture, the male failed to pick up the finer details of the female’s reaction. She had stopped at the threshold, at a good distance, but Haku more or less saw her as too close. He decided to stand his ground, and mask the uncertainly that seemed to bloom more brightly in her presence. Her melodic voice reached his trembling ears and made him feel worse about the time he picked for his visit. I’d be surprised if you weren’t.. Fe managed to push out the words without revealing the effort it took to do so. The roses that bloomed on the dark female’s cheeks were hidden by the darkness and went more or less unnoticed, and all he could think of was that he hoped his own slightly heated cheeks were well hidden as well. Her light orbs fled, but he could not gather enough self-control to do the same. His breath had slowed down and moved in a steady rhythm, attempting to calm the rest of the male’s body. This was silly.
Her next reply automatically received a small smile from the larger wolf, but though it was an automated response, his smile was slightly warmer than the average he threw around other individuals. It caused a feeling similar to shame to nip at his neck. The dove should have nothing to fear. She would be presentable enough in every form and condition. His eyes were caught by the brushing motions the female made as she brushed the fur by her head lightly. It was a good question, and he was unsure if he could provide her with a satisfying answer. He felt something he had stamped as loneliness, and he wanted company. He could have chosen other individuals, but the thought of Cwmfen had swept all other names away. He was a leader and had been around for a while, but the male had very few he could call friends. He had always been the lonely wanderer, and though his long journey had been put on hold, he was still as alone as ever. Deuce had been rejected, and Firefly was mad. Mew had a male visiting and the rest of the pack was out of question
I think I maybe could need a friend. His words were as honest as anything. He did not expect anything of her. In fact, he somewhat hoped she would dismiss him because of the late(early) hour and tell him to come back another day, a proposal he would accept but not proceed with. He was tired of the chaos he had resurrected. When the demon slumbered there was no comfort for the remaining pieces of his soul. Another reason why he was here was to maybe mention what had happened between them. She was a pack member, and could not be avoided(plus, he did not want to avoid her), so they had to figure out what would happen next. The pretending-like-nothing-ever-happened plan would probably work, but he wanted to take it up with her nevertheless, to make sure she was okay with it all and that they both were at peace.
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500+
A friend. A light smile briefly brushed against her lips ash she turned her eyes momentarily to the snow covered earth. Simply a friend? She knew that as long as he was mate to Firefly that she could do nothing—and she would do nothing. Both were her superiors and both were in such close proximity, as they all were wolves of Dahlia de Mai. Perhaps she was simply a silly girl newly come into woman hood who had shared a single night with her Lilium. She had needed him—well, the ancestors dictated that any male would have been sufficient, but she could not think of any wolf better to have been fated—but she knew that that had been a dangerous thing. Love ties were not the same here as they were where she was from, and she did not think that Firefly would tolerate him going to any other woman. And while she knew that Haku was not one to resist his needs, she thought that perhaps there had been something. Perhaps—
Perhaps she delved too much into things.
But she knew that all creatures needed companionship in some form. And she considered the male again. He was not a tame creature, she knew that—everyone knew that. His habits were no secret. His pragmatic mannerisms were quiet obvious to the black female. While she knew very little of this male, she suspected that he was one who would not approach another if he did not wish. He would not cloud things, not say things that he didn’t mean. And yet all these were speculations. I know nothing of him, she reminded herself once more. Briefly, her mind remembered the conversation she shared with the Crimsonian Geneva. Love was between two friendships. Love? The warrior mocked herself. She didn’t even know what that was...
"I could be that friend." Her words were quiet, kind. She understood what it was to be his friend, and what it meant when he had said it. The woad warrior smiled to the chocolate male, regretting that she could not have him. The female trotted over to where he had moved and sat beside him silently. She was careful to provide enough distance between his body and hers, so that none of her fur brushed against his. Often, she found that all she could offer was a presence at the other’s side. She found that such a presence meant more to her at times than words, and she hoped that he felt similarly. She valued friendship greatly, and she hoped that he would find that friend that he needed in her.
Cwmfen, however, wondered why he had decided at this time of day to approach her thusly. Would not such a request be ideally appealed during the lighter hours? She wondered if she had done something to offend him—perhaps that night that they had shared was in question?—and gently inquired as to it. "Haku, is something troubling you?" The slight Caledonian lilt danced lightly upon the cold air as he spoke. She turned her head to look at the large male briefly, and then she returned her gaze to the snow. Such a similar night, and yet so different.
"Haku, I’m—" Sorry.
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300+, sorry for the wait.
It would not be bold to state that few wolves saw Haku this ‘fragile’ (In his own masculine and specific way, of course). Usually he was empty and stripped for such lousy needs anyway, but things seemed to continue to heap up, and with the beast sleeping deep somewhere, its absence allowed for thin threads of basis emotions to get through, and he became slightly troubled. He was officially mated with Firefly, but right now he was quite certain he wanted this female more. He was a monster that usually took whatever he wanted and threw it away afterwards without a second glance, but without the demon and in the current circumstances, his choices did not seem as easy as they did. Cwmfen had made it special because she had mentally stood back once before she suddenly gave herself to him that night too long (though, not long at all) ago.
She offered her friendship, and he let the ghost of a smile touch his lips, a lot of gratitude in such a small, curved line. It was short lived, as she let her asking shove away the night’s silence. Then, even worse, she started off in an apologetic tone that made his ears flicker backwards in a sudden cold stroke of discomfort. His mind examined itself and found out that it was lost. Indeed, something was troubling him, but worst of all was that he could not share anything fully with another being. The beast had been someone to hide behind and reveal every tiny bit about himself. Firefly had been someone he could reveal more to than the rest, but that bond had been broken by him and he was unsure if it would ever be right again. He was not even sure how much he cared about her overall anymore because of the litter and the sharp words they always exchanged whenever they saw each other.
One needs two willing souls for the sin we committed, if you are talking of what I think you do. He sighed softly, wondering where this was going, where he was going with all this. This was not his table, running around and worrying, feeling. Firefly had known what he was before he had asked her to be his mate, so could he really be so brutally blamed? He was not a pleasant individual, and his actions screamed of his twisted ways. This was not the worst thing he could have done to her. would do to her.. Do you regret it? A question that; no matter what answer, would not matter much to him all in all, but it was a good and seemingly caring question to ask, and curiosity always seemed to kill the poor cat, although this was a rather harmless question.
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Sorry for the crap, OnO
500+
There were many things that she wished to tell him, to explain to him. Why had she been in the forests in the first place, why she had allowed herself be taken by him, why she had allowed him to betray his mate. Why she did not feel troubled by such betrayal on her part. Countless times between that night and this night, she had considered her self, had sought in herself the reasons for why she felt that way about the male. It was irrational, and yet, it seemed as if there could be no other way. The female felt that she had never been so conflicted. And now she knew why her father was so interested in their family line. It was a strange thing, and yet not unbelievable to the woad warrior. But with passing time, she would have to take precautions, for she could not help but be a superstitious creature. And yet, she was not afraid to dip her hands in blood.
Cwmfen caught the brief, practically indiscernible smile that touched his lips. The black female knew of the darker habits of the other. She had listened to the song of his soul, and had heard its devil’s chords. And so she received this small gesture with an understanding of its worth. And yet, that gesture was gone, replaced by a more troubled expression. Had she been in another form, she would have touched him for reassurance. Yet she feared what that touch would bring to her, and she remembered what it had brought on that night. Cwmfen sighed quietly to herself as she was unable to push this chocolate male from her mind.
Sin. His blunt diction brought the reality of her actions to her. Was it truly sin? She was unsure. For her, she had merely gone through the rites of passage. The only sin she could find was that she had seduced—though not necessarily intentionally—a mated wolf and had thus betrayed them both. Viewing the matter in such an ethical view did place her in the wrong. And yet, she did not think of it that way. Sincerely, it was not something she could find. And while she would have preferred to give herself purity to a male that perhaps would end up to be her own mate, she did not regret having given it to Haku. Promiscuity had never been one of her main concerns, yet,she had concluded many times before, she found Haku to be beyond desirable. But she could do nothing about it, and so she was silent. Quietly, at length, she said, "No," and was certain that it was true.
Cwmfen allowed the silence to follow, and she filled it with the things she wished to say. But Haku had come to her, she believed, as merely a friend, and she did not want to make this meeting about what she wanted to say if he had something that needed to be said. Her gaze, which had been turned to the ground, lifted and sought the blue eyes of her Lilium. She wanted to know what was there in that darkness that she so easily drowned in.
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500+
Haku did not believe in such things as sins. There were only actions, good and bad, but sin? What did it mean? Haku was who he was, a nearly full bred sociopath, and there was just a touch of emotion every now and then when the beast within slumbered deeply. He had put his words as he did because he knew his morality lay way below any normal canine’s. He did not regret what had happened, and besides, what was done was done, and there was no way it could be changed or undone. Haku had made a choice, and in 95 percent of all cases he stuck to it and took responsibility for what he did. He was good at beating around the bush if there was info he’d rather not share with someone, but if Firefly ever came and confronted him, he would not deny his side jumps, his many lovers. In many wolves’ opinion, he was a sinner. He knew that.
He cocked his head slightly when her one word answer was presented to him. Very well. Then why do you apologize to me? His ears waved backwards. His two thirds piece of a tail placed itself obediently halfway around his paws as he sat down on the cool ground in an attempt to ease the upset nerves in his body. Their eyes met, and the silence roared in Haku’s ears, far more powerful than any sound. He decided to throw one of his small problems at her, curious of how well the role of a supportive friend would fit her. Even though his world was swirling around in a chaotic whirlwind, other aspects of life seemed more promising. The pack was growing again, filling up with unique and blooming individuals of all types.
To be honest, the brown male had often wondered why he was still here. Sure, he had family, but Sadiras were all over the place, and he was not the family man. There had been a time where the majority of the pack (with the exception of Firefly and maybe Mew) had despised him. Maybe not that harsh, but he knew that most of the members had not felt comfortable with him around after what had happened to the Inferni couple. Rumours had made Haku’s name loathed and hated, also amongst wolves, who had found his acts hideous. Why he had gotten the leader position and why the pack had followed him, he had no honest idea. For now, Dahlia slowly because more like a proper home to him, even though Firefly was roaming around with a belly full of parasites. It seemed more and more of the newcomers accepted him, and even some of the older ones seemed to slightly warm up.
If you go back to the Inferni versus Dahlia war. My actions.. do you think I’m a monster? Even those that had kept from the conflict knew what the chocolate male from Dahlia had done to the coyote mother and her child, what he had done to Asphyxia. Actually, Haku’s actions in general, because he had done a lot of things (and when Colibri Haki would join in the near future, there would be more). Only reason why the latest half year had been so still was because of his position in this back, and the increasing slumber of the devil in his body. Did Cwmfen have the guts to serve the truth in his presence?
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500+
Cwmfen looked peered into those blue orbs as he met her gaze. She found in there a darkness, a tainted soul that seemed to burn everything in touched—a pulsating clump of molten iron wrought of black flame, powerful and yet always hungering. His deeds and his need to obtain his desires seemed a part of an unending thirst, satiated only by the completion of the deed—only to lead him to search again, to sate the unending starvation. He was like Tantalus, doomed for all eternity to never sate that desire. And she saw all these things, but she did not shrink away. There was no doubt in her mind of the danger that he presented, and she did not doubt that he would take from her what he wished. And still, she did not retreat, but peered deeper still into that darkness, herself desiring something she could not have.
Sighing, she averted her gaze and at last she allowed herself to answer. "I apologize because I know that in this age, what I have done—what we have done—is inexcusable. The consequences of our actions are not our own—they belong to others too." To Firefly, and thus to Dahlia. The female recognized the conflict that could arise from such things. She had recognized them the night she had given herself to him, and yet, she had allowed herself such a thing. And while it was for the ancient rites of passage, she doubted that anyone else would see it that way. Yes, she saw these things, and yet, even within her voice, she lacked the inflexion that would allow herself to be ‘redeemed’ in such societies.
The War between Inferni and Dahlia de Mai. She had joined the pack just as the War was ending, but she had heard some of what had happened, and had picked up the rest along the way. From what she had gathered, the chocolate Lilium had committed a great crime—the great crime perhaps. And yet, she did not see him as a monster. Perhaps she was a fool for not recognizing him as such. Perhaps she would pay for it later. The woad warrior did not believe that he saw something in her, something that intrigued him beyond what was ordinary. She did not doubt that she had been nothing more than another female upon which he had exercised his will, a female that had given herself to him even knowing of his mateship. The only difference between the others and herself was that she resided in the same pack, and thus she presented something of more consequence than the others, though she did not know what that consequence was. She asked nothing of him and expected nothing, for she never expected anything of her desires.
The white eyes returned as she spoke in response. "I have heard of what you did then, and I have heard of what you do now. Perhaps I am the fool to say, but even so, I cannot see you as the monster. Your actions are unrefined, but you are not dead yet." If there was anything that the female held in high regard, it was precision. Precision in anything at all, but especially in action, in the physical sense. Did he not have this if he were not yet dead? Or perhaps he was merely lucky. But a light smile came to her lips. "And yet what I think—does it matter? I am but one wolf, and I am of little significance. I believe in a different order of things—a simpler order of things. Survival may be at its core, however primeval it may be. If you are still alive, is that not admirable? I am not a human, and I have little to ask. I am a wolf, and I live now."
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500+
He heard the female’s answer, but he did not agree. What had happened concerned only these two wolves. Of course, Firefly had a right to rage because they were mates, but mateships could be cancelled. The rest of the pack had no business with their private lives as far as Haku saw it. True, it could create difficulties between some members, but Haku had sacrificed too much of his true self when the war was over and he had stayed leader. He refused to give up the improvisational side jumps just because certain members of Dahlia disapproved of it. If they had issues, then they could come to his face. The pack did not have to know anything of what had happened between those two. He had made sure to lie low while Cwmfen’s scent had clung to his pelt like the best of perfumes. Perhaps it was just that he did not want to see the consequences.
Her last answer made his ears perk slightly. Very few did not know what he had done, and he had been the talk of the lands, Haku the monster. No one cared of all that damage that Inferni had inflicted upon Souls’ members. Cwmfen’s opinion was actually of significance. Of course, she was but one wolf, and there were a larger number out there that would come up with a completely different answer. Cwmfen’s answer weighted more than theirs. Therefore; it mattered. It did. He was slightly surprised of her complicated yet so simplistic answer, and his impression of the marked warrior continued to rise. The male gave a shrug, letting his gaze wander off into the dark forest. They still had him as their leader, which had to mean that he at least did something right. Either that or they were afraid to ask him to step down. He did not bother pondering which one was the truth.
The problem is that the wolves in these lands do not wish to be wolves anymore. Was not that the truth? Inferni would always be a splendid example of this. They had terrorised wolves for years, but nothing was done, except for small vendettas that dwindled into nothing. The most natural thing would have been to chase the whole clan away, or determine every member with claws and fangs. It never happened. Haku had taken a bite, and had received nothing but a polite hostility and disgust from the rest of the wolves in these lands. It was sad, what they all tried to evolve into. The humans were dead, they wouldn’t come back. The cities would crumble and it was only a matter of time before nature fully took it back.
Phoenix Valley held animals, it was not natural. Although he could see the use for it, especially in the winter, he would never have done such a thing himself. If the rumour of Aniwaya was true, then it was even worse. Horses were food, not some servant carrying a wolf around on its back. He could not grasp the point of that. He would have to take a trip over there to see the circus with his own eyes.
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500+
Cwmfen thought that the other may have disagreed with her view. She doubted that he would, as he would not have done much of what he did—what he would do—if he even cared what consequence his actions would have. And perhaps he would be right. Perhaps it didn’t matter at all. But the female was different from the other. If there was one thing that she valued most, it was respect. The blue-eyed Lilium had respect, and yet he committed crimes of the utmost disrespect. His actions should have been abhorrent to her, just as the acts her father were despicable in her mind. But she found it different some how.... Perhaps, as in war, each situation, each personality, was judged differently. Perhaps she had merely judged him in a different light. Whatever the case, the female was not disturbed by the actions of the male. Perhaps she would pay for it later.
To the rest of her words, he merely shrugged. However, it was his silence that she accepted as his response. A light smile, tainted with a touch of iron, tickled her lips as the white orbs turned to the earth, watching nothing as her gaze turned inward to her mind. She was silent, and she listened to that soft, whispering snowfall with eager ears. The silence seemed more important, the stillness even more so. The world was such a simple place, and that simplicity was the thing that created the complexity. Yet, there were many who sought to make the world into something it was not. She felt that that was what was happening with Haku, and perhaps that was even what drove him. The freedom that he had could only bring the consequences that followed him now. Briefly, the fae’s eyes turned toward his partial tail, and she wondered how it had come to be that way. She wondered if there was some sort of symbolic meaning that coincided with the reality of his life.
"Indeed..." the female murmured quietly as her gaze made its way to find the face of the other. "I too have seen it. And perhaps it is inescapable. Perhaps one day we will end up like them." There was a strangeness in her voice, and it seemed to resemble contempt. Them, as she had named, was the humans. Their remains littered the world, and the world slowly covered their traces. But the humans had been the superior race—or so they had believed—and she could not help but wonder if the cycle were to continue. The wolves ran the world now. But for how long? The white orbs held the irony of her thoughts as she watched the Lilium silently, wondering of many things besides.
"Wolves are meant to be free. And yet here we are, living in the confines of society. I feel its uses, but I feel the discontent in my heart...." And that alto melody turned down a remorseful road as she gazed down its empty path. Destruction seemed in evitable. Her eyes, which had become unfocused, regained their clarity as they returned to the present.
Her mind returned to the issue that had characterized the beginnings of their conversation, and she brought it up once more without declaring it openly. Perhaps he would not understand the ambiguity of her statement, but she doubted it would be so. Haku would know. "What would you have me do, Lilium?" The silence that followed was strange and hollow. She felt she knew already what the answer must be, and she regretted only that it must be so.
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I am so sorry for crappy and short post, but I will be very scarce for over a week, and am therefore trying to reply to the majority of my threads tonight. 300+
He frowned slightly when she suggested that perhaps the wolves would end up like the humans. It was a depressing thought to imagine that they would end up the same way. Hopefully that would include the wolves wiping themselves out in the end. He surely hoped so if it got that far. He liked to think that the humans had been punishing for their arrogance and for almost ruining the earth. Unlike every other animal on the planet, the humans did not adapt to the environment. They had been just like a virus, spreading slowly at first, then increased the speed, poisoning the earth in a horrible pace. It seemed there were several species that would not mind continuing where the humans started. Wearing silly clothes and using human equipment. Haku did so too, yet he could live without the fridge, without his stove, without his house.
He understood what she meant, and once again he agreed. He was discontent and he was disappointed. Wolves were not humans, it was as simple as that. Yet they seemed to want to live in a society with morality, yet when some threatened it, they did nothing. Haku wanted to see Inferni burn, wanted it so much he could feel it in every bone in his body when his thoughts lingered too long with the infamous coyote clan and its past. A bunch of worthless shit was all they were, the wolves. He wished he had been born with coyote blood running through his veins. Everything would have been easier, and he could have fully embraced his passion.
The question shook him back to the current scene in the middle of the night. Cwmfen’s eyes were misty and visible while the rest of her was not. He could never fully grasp how beautiful her eyes were. For one night she had been his, and for that, she would always belong to him in one sense. Nothing. What was there to do? Haku had no regrets, no issue with the difficulties that had rose because he had eased his ache for her by bedding her. I’m sorry we did not meet before. In a way, his words were useless, because in the moment, whenever the feeling switch inside him was turned on, he could say quite some things and actually mean it. Right now he desired Cwmfen more than anything, wanted her more than Firefly.
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Don’t worry about it! OoO I understand, ^=^
500+
Nothing. The female’s eyes watched the ground as a small smirk tickled her maw. So simple. And was it not? This matter did not have to be complicated—he was right, she realized. Neither of them regretted what they had done. They had merely shared something one night, and that was all. It was not nearly as bad as it could have been. Then why did she feel so discontent? She did not know what she had expected; it was not even that this was not it. Perhaps it was something else. The female wanted to look back up at the male as if to search for something, but he would give nothing to her. But the warrior was not bitter for it. She knew what was going to happen from the morning after they had lain together. It was no surprise. There was just something that was lodged in her soul, something that she had never quite felt before. Regret. And it was not for that night. Perhaps it was for all the nights after, and all the nights that would come. All the nights she would spend alone. But she was a naturally accepting creature—she could grow accustom to solitude once more.
Cwmfen looked up, a little too sharply than she would have liked. She wondered if he meant—truly meant it. But then, she knew the male well enough to know that he did not waste his breath with trifle things. He would not tell her what he wanted to hear. He would tell her what was true. And yet, she was still uncertain. But the warrior was a rational creature, and she could not dismiss that single remark. The black fae tried to peer into those blue eyes once more, to search for an answer once more. But once more they were impassive to her, and she was forced to drop her efforts and return her gaze to the earth. "Do not be sorry," the melody sang at length. Then with a sigh, she said, "You have already tasted the best of me—I have given it to you. I’m afraid there’s nothing more." The she wolf believed herself to be a simple creature, and she was. There were not many things that the female required, and what she did require were not difficult to meet. What intrigued her was a different matter. Haku had intrigued her, and still did. But she knew the binds of mateship. She would probably never feel him again.
Abruptly, with fluidity transcending most earthly creatures, the female rose. She turned. She turned her body about to face him. Their noses nearly touched, and she lingered there, almost hesitantly, as those white orbs stared him down. There was no plead in her eyes, but there was no mirth either. They seemed devoid of everything that should be there. Only a faint, tentative longing flickered in those opaque depths as her gaze brushed against the Lilium’s blue eyes. Then she moved forward, closing the distance between them as if she were afraid that any more delay would have been fatal. She pushed her maw into the side of his mane and then through so that her neck was on his shoulder, so that her chest was against his. Cwmfen had never touched him in his lupus form, and she felt, perhaps irrationally, that this would be the last moment of opportunity. She wanted to know what it could have been like for their fur to mingle once more. She closed her eyes and felt it, and loved it. Loved him. Having held her breath, she let it out slowly, breathing into his chocolate mane. She breathed in his scent deeply and was comforted. She was comforted in his darkness. A soft whine escaped her, and slowly, reluctantly, she withdrew.
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300+ Sorry for wait, dear
He bit his own tongue easily when the female reacted to his words. The male happened to regret the things he said, but they were seldom untrue. Haku knew how to bend the truth well, but he never gave a direct lie. Certainly not to any of those he considered friends (whatever meanings he put into the term ‘friendship’). He kept his gaze on hers with pretended ease, determined not to falter so that she could not dare to doubt the honesty of his words. Her reply saddened him a bit. Why did the marked fairy underestimate herself so? She did not see much importance in herself, seemed to see herself as quite simple and common. She was wrong, he knew she was wrong. She, amongst very few other wolves, had captured his attention, and very few managed to do so. Perhaps she was not as special as he wanted her to be, but still special to him, and that was it.
He simply shook his head slowly at her words, but his movement ceased as she turned to face him properly, oh so close to him. He swallowed, somewhat uncomfortable with the female’s sudden move and the possible intentions behind it. He was a weak man, and she had shown him something he would love to see again. He fought to not step back away from her, or, maybe closer towards her. He believed he could see longing in those misty eyes, and he did not completely succeed to hide that same expression in his own sky blue eyes. Then the female moved and brushed up against him, her muzzle in his mane and her warmth struck him and gave him the sensation of electricity. Damn it.
It took all his willpower not to throw himself into action and try to create another long night of simplistic harmony and love. There had been no love the first night, only lust and desire, but as he had gotten to know the faerie better, he could not stop caring for her. As she withdrew, he moved slightly forward to try to maintain the touch. He wanted to protect her and soothe her, anything really. This alone was clear signs that announced that he cared. Haku did not care, Haku did not love. ”I’m sorry." He simply repeated the apology, and clumsily tried to dig his muzzle into her jet black and marked mane. Haku needed professional help, because he seemed to be unable to control himself. "I can't." Yet, it did not seem to stop him from doing things.
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You’re fine!
500+
As she pulled away, the cold air rushed in to rob her of his warmth, and it slipped away even as she tried to keep it. The air’s breath brushed between them like a sigh, a sigh of one dying and accepting it. The woad-marked warrior refrained from releasing such a sound, and she turned her white eyes away as he apologized, for in that apology, there was a strange finality. That finality that she felt was somehow knew, and yet, it was all too familiar. She was silent for a moment as she lowered herself to sit in the cold earth, as if in defeat. And yet she knew not who had defeated her, or how she had been defeated. And yet, she felt as if it were so, as if some beast had thrown her down and pinned her to the cold earth with a blade in her shoulder. She released a soft breath as his muzzle brushed against her mane, and she looked up as the chocolate Lilium spoke again. Her gaze was slow, however, and only finally, after a long moment, did she bring her gaze to meet his blue eyes.
"I understand," the alto melody replied at length. But it was a lie—the first lie, perhaps, that she had expressed. She did not understand why, and yet, she thought she did. She had seen the conflict rising within him, and she knew that such conflict resided with thoughts concerning his mateship. But that had never stopped him before, had never held him back. Perhaps, she thought, with pups squirming in the golden wolf’s stomach, he was seeking to change something. But why, and she wondered again, why must he begin with her? Why not with someone else? Why had he bothered to come at this hour of the night only to reject her? The female did not understand his logic.
But perhaps she was being illogical. Perhaps she was being selfish. And so she did not allow him to see her disappointment, her discontentment, for she did not wish to encourage the conflict within him. She saw the self restraint and self control that struggled to change him, and she did not want to break them (or did she?). And so she hid her thoughts from him and merely smiled, and it came easy knowing that it was for his benefit.
And yet, she was not surprised that he could not. Somehow, it made sense to her in her rational mind. That night beneath the light of the full moon had been of simple and pure lust. Perhaps she had been the only one who had desired something more—nothing quite so binding as the mateship that now bound the chocolate and cream male, but something more still.... But there was nothing more to be had, and she could accept that. Perhaps if she had known nothing, it would have been easier to accept. But she learned that night of the art of making love, and one did not forget such things. The body would soon hunger for it. Just as it did now. And the warrior laughed at herself, for she was a martial artist, and she should have required no other art.
The female regarded her superior. Perhaps he had come to her to challenge himself, and perhaps he had won. But if he returned, she did not think that she would refuse him, for she did not hold any bitterness or resentment for his choice. Rising, the female’s tail flickered behind her. The black fae was unsure of what more could be said or done, for he had already completed his task. She tilted her head slightly but was silent. Perhaps there was something else.
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500+
He did not like this. He hated weaknesses, and it was not hard to spot his worst one at the moment. If he had not been officially chained to another female this would never have been an issue, but the consequences of his many one night stands had slapped him in the face several times, and the last thing he wanted was an army of bastard children taking over this whole goddamn land. It was not right to Firefly. Not that he usually cared about what was right or wrong, but he was no longer in a position to do everything he wanted. He could just pray that Cwmfen was the last female that was able to tempt him as much as she did now, but he highly doubted it. Wolves were not as simple as they once had been. Now they were complicated beings, and Haku could go from canine to canine and find rubbish, but there were jewels among the boring gray rocks, and that was what kicked his hormones into motion. He loved what he saw in Cwmfen, just as he had loved the things he had seen in Deuce, Tayui and of course his own mate.
The black flower said she understood, but did she really? He surely did not, so how could she. Well, she was a female, quite a bit more complicated than most males. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, male power. Cwmfen could never understand his logic because usually there was none. He did not know why he was here in the middle of the night, and he would never figure out the reason why his paws had brought him to her home. Maybe it was the simple fact that it was not worth it. She was a woman, and she was able to create life itself, and he could not spread his sick seeds in Dahlia de Mai. One thing was strangers and wolves outside Dahlia, but he could not bring this mess into Dahlia. There were methods to prevent any fruit of sex, but it simply was not worth it. He could not fool around with members of his own pack, fucking up everything he touched. Dahlia needed to be spared, because he had made a promise to serve this pack. He had failed, but would try to keep from making the same mistakes again.
What else was there to say. Haku had nothing he wanted to share with the female at the moment. Maybe he had come here for clearance, an answer, something, but he had not received anything but more thoughts and a stronger desire to make love to the strange beauty one more time. He could not stay. ”I’m sorry for waking you up, my lady.” The male mumbled hoarsely before he pulled away from her and breaking their eye contact one last time. He did not look up at her again when he turned to leave. ”I'll leave you now.” As if it was not obvious, idiot. With that, he perked his ears and left the scene, a limb tail revealing his sad mood. He would go home and burnish his fucked up honor.
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