Hate me in ways, ways hard to swallow
#1
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ooc: This takes place after the pack hunt and his private thread with Cercelee (postdated Jan 8th)- he's still really pissy, so anyone can pick a fight with him, or calm him down (so he can go apologize to her next!). C:

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier


In his high temper, Slay had already left the coastal sands far behind him. He ran the whole distance of the Flander's Field in record time, paws slamming hard against the snow-covered ground, spraying shattered ice in his wake. Winter already had him on edge, with its oppressive snow and the memories of his birthplace; he hadn't needed the venom-coated words of the one woman he actually cared about added to the pile.


The sun was setting as he reached his favourite haunt, the Dahlia graveyard. The statue of the Virgin Mary loomed above him, her facial features long-since worn away by the elements of nature. Slay drew his lips back to snarl at her - for once, not comforted by the human statues that littered the area. He didn't handle anger well, never had, always masked his feelings and bottled them up inside. Every once in a rare while, he would let them release... An explosion of catharsis, usually a flurry of violence did the trick. But there was no one here to fight with. It was like the pack had vanished, all gone off to do their own thing. Cercelee had managed to piss him off in a big way, when he had already been upset. So what if he liked Cwmfen? Cwmfen liked Haku! And Cer had no right to be jealous, because she was crushing on the golden boy, Ril'o! Life was so damn complicated!


He drew to a halt, broad chest heaving with his heavy breaths. His thick winter coat was still bristling as he replayed the squabble in his mind. She had provoked him, but he had definitely lost his temper first. Usually he would disappear around this time - whenever he felt too uncomfortable around others, he would simply skirt the borders of their land and stop interacting with everyone for days... weeks... even months, like during the war. He would just wait for things to settle down. But he was too restless this time -- he needed to get this out of his system before he ended up killing someone!

The arctic wolf watched his breath freeze in the cooling January air, watched as the shadows from the icy tombstones lengthened across the white ground. He was built for this weather, but he hated it. Maybe he would feel less antsy, less jealous, when he could see the grass again...

"I can't wait for Spring," he growled.



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#2
My post in no way compares to yours, but I couldn't resist.

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Hanna had chosen this day to visit the graveyard. It technically was not her right to be there, as she'd passed the boundaries, but she wasn't far in, and if someone had a problem with it, she'd leave. Her back was resting against one of the cracked and lop-sided stones, her satchels on either side of her, and she was staring up at the Virgin Mary. Her weathered face gave few answers when one wanted them, but the statue itself was still lovely despite the wear and tear. For whatever reason, the still of the cemetery brought her peace, quieting whatever emotions were running rampant through her head and giving her ample time to work through them.


The sound of tromping feet made her ears twitch, and her eyes soon followed their direction in time to see the large black-and-white wolf that had helped start Dahlia de Mai along with her sister, her neice, Cercelee, and Hanna herself. She stayed still for a few minutes, letting the man begin to work out whatever was troubling him. He growled up at the same statue that Hanna had been studying moments before, and then quietly responded to him, alerting him to her presence. "I can't wait either. So many things come into bloom in the early part of Spring." She smiled warmly at him, then went on, greeting him. "Slay. How have you been?"

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#3
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ooc: Yay! ^_^

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier


Slay glanced up in surprise, not having realized he wasn't alone. However, it was the last wolf he expected to see relaxing in the graveyard he frequented - Hanna, one of their founding members, and one of the first wolves to have left the pack. The surprise took the edge off his frustration, and he let the bristling of his ruff flatten out unevenly before he spoke.


"...Hanna! I didn't realize you had returned," he murmured, trying to be polite. The warmth in her voice pleased him, although it also came as a surprise. He didn't know much about the herbalist, other than her being Colibri's sister, and that she could handle herself in a hunt. A small smile graced his black lips at the memory - their first pack hunt, in which he and Hanna had delivered the final blows to their joint kill. Then, as now, they had been as opposites - Hanna preferred the artful flexibility of the shifted two-legger form, whereas Slay still stubbornly refused to leave all fours. They never did have trouble getting along, though - some instinct had told him from the start not to use his flowery compliments as he was wont to do around females, and perhaps because of that, she was willing to take him seriously. Perhaps this meeting was exactly what he had been looking for.


"I've been better, myself," he admitted ruefully, settling onto his haunches a few paces away. A chill winter breeze whipped through the burial ground, ruffling the male's impervious fur. "All this infernal snow, and no signs of it letting up, either. I'll be much happier when the streams are running again, and all this cold goes away..." Slay couldn't keep the bitter note from creeping into his tone, although he had no intentions of dumping his problems on the enigmatic healer. His turmoil was of the internal sort - nothing that herbs could do much for. Still, he was already feeling more calm and rational... Having someone to keep one's company was an invaluable tool.



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#4
Typing with a baby on my lap, apologies if I miss a typo, lol.

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Her former pack mate relaxed visibly after his awareness of her presence, seemingly happy to see her. She started to give him a hug, and then realized that it was rather awkward, with her current shape, to do so. Smiling at him again, she began the downward transformation into her four-legged form, her mane shortening into a mere ruff, and her fur becoming silkier from nose to tail. The entire process took less than ten minutes despite the fact that she normally resided in her Optime form.


Once she'd finished shifting, she moved to the man's side, giving him a hearty nuzzle. She liked Slay, and had since she met him. He was a likable fellow, easy-going, from her point of view, and she valued the fact that he remembered her. Grinning apologetically, she said, "Despite its values, that form has its limitations." She took a pace backwards, sitting and curling her tail around her, before continuing.

"Unfortunately, I'm not back completely. I've been living in a cabin where Whisper Beach, Shattered Coast, and Ethereal Eclipse all come together, but I've been hanging around the borders to be near in case of emergency. I couldn't deal with all the stuff happening around here. Something made me feel..claustrophobic, and I fled to the Halcyon Mountains for a couple months, right around Samhain." Her mismatched eyes found his blue ones, holding the gaze for a moment before retreating lest he mistake her intent, while she listened to his admission of not doing well and the bitterness of his dislike for winter.

She, too, cared little for the season, since it was the time of death. But after death comes rebirth, and the female knew that winter was necessary. "As much as any healer dislikes winter, the season of death, one must realize that without death, there can be no rebirth."

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#5
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ooc: Aww... I'm trying to keep a guinea pig from gnawing through my husband's laptop cord (since mine's already broken)... Not quite the same situation, but you're forgiven nonetheless, lol! xD

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier


Slay watched silently, feeling a flicker of gratitude as Hanna unshifted, reverting to her natural four-legged form. He had only seen her this way the first time they met, and that had been from a distance. It came as a small surprise to realize that she was a year older than him, and that she too was without a mate. Perhaps being alone wasn't something he should feel so self-conscious about. Fulfillment came in more ways than just one. It wasn't a huge comfort, though - Hanna had her talents to fall back on, and as an herbalist, would always be wanted and treasured among wolves. Slay had little such talent to offer.


When her transformation was complete and she was back on his level, Slay gladly returned the friendly nuzzle. The dark-furred female was now smaller than him, something he was quite used to. "Claustrophobic, eh? You don't have to tell me twice," he said wryly. He could relate to that on several levels - he was feeling pretty trapped at the moment, what with all the drama unfolding around him - not to mention the actual fear of closed spaces he suffered from. The arctic wolf had never been able to sleep in a den or a human dwelling...


"...It must be nice, then; having a place to go to that's away from it all. I'm a little envious, Hanna." He smiled honestly, ducking his head with an ounce of embarrassment. "I went missing for a few months during the summer, but in the end I came back to the pack. I can't leave, but I don't feel comfortable staying, either. It would be nice to make up my mind, like you did." He sighed heavily, letting the frigid air condensate his exhaled breath into a cloud of white. Everything was black and white during the winter.

"'The season of death', huh?" he repeated softly, letting his pale blue eyes wander. That was an apt description - the leaves were long gone, abandoning the bare trees to icicles and wind. Small creatures were either sleeping or desperately scavenging, easy prey for the lean luperci. Slay had thought of winter as static - a time when nothing changes, and all is frozen. But Hanna was right. It only lead to more change in the end.

"Are you happier now?" he asked suddenly, turning back to hold her gaze. "Do you like not having ties to pack life, or is it something you miss? I don't mean to pry, but during the time I knew you, you always seemed... distracted. Much like Colibri was..." He let his white-tipped ears drop to a respectable level, not intending to badger her with personal questions. He wanted to know, though - if he had chosen not to return, would he have been better off? He hadn't spoken to Hanna's sister since the white Alphess left them for some man, and he had heard no news of her life since. It was all so confusing, why people did what they did. He had never thought it cowardly, though, to quit pack life - it was merely a different option...



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#6
Of lunch and computer changes, lol. Do you guys have any messengers? I realized I'd never spoken to ya much oocly. My messengers are in my profile, feel free to add me.

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The man admitted to envying her her freedom and her solitude, and with a flip of her tail, she shyly stated, "If you ever want to get away, I'd be glad to share the place with you." And it was the truth. She had Tobias, but other than that the two-room shack was getting a little lonely. Hanna wasn't sure how Slay would take her statement, as an open invitation, or an open flirt, but it stood no matter which.The validity of her statement shone in her eyes, which she raised to his again as he looked away to study the surroundings. She gazed evenly at him, waiting for him to continue, letting him have his thoughts.


When he did look back to her, it was with a question as to her happiness. He elaborated on his query, and then trailed off, seeming a little abashed at his curiosity. She smiled yet again, unable to contain herself, and then moved forward to give him a reassuring nudge. "In some ways, Slay, I'm happier than I could ever have been here in Dahlia de Mai. I don't have to answer to anyone, and I can come and go as I please without having to worry about missing this thing or that which I should have done or attended."

She never had felt like she could please everybody and herself, and had largely given up her self to care for others. She went on, "In other ways, I'm so lonely. I don't have anyone besides my bird to talk to, most times, no one to hunt with me, no one to sit and just be with. Part of me wants to join a pack, but another part of me is afraid to put myself in the same position I was in here. It's not fair to those around me." She lowered her head, as upset with herself as he'd been for dumping her feelings on him.



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#7
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ooc: I'm on a borrowed laptop, so I don't have my messenger right now... ^^;

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

Slay blinked, pleased by her response. He could stay with Hanna, whenever things got too rough here? That was a wonderful idea! He made a mental note of the location of her cabin, promising himself to visit sometime. He flashed her a full grin, gratitude in his ice-pale eyes. "I may just take you up on that," he warned her playfully, slipping into his old habits. She'd surely kick him out of her home fairly quickly, but it would be a pleasant visit nonetheless!


The dark wolf was very frank with her answers, an honesty that Slay wasn't accustomed to but found refreshing. She looked a little flustered towards the end, as though she hadn't intended to be so open, but Slay returned her friendly nuzzle in a reassuring way. "That... makes a lot of sense, Hanna. I suppose freedom comes with its own brand of loneliness - you have to decide which you'd rather put up with, too many faces or not enough." He paused to consider his statement - which mattered more to him? He had run away from home at a young age, and spent most of his life alone. Now that he was getting on in years and had nothing to show for it, he was starting to lean in the opposite direction, valuing companionship and bonds much more than he used to. There were times when he saw the family ties spread across this land, and wondered how his old pack was doing... although those thoughts never lasted long.


"I feel a lot better now!" he crowed, startling a nearby flock of sparrows into flight. "Thanks for wasting some time on me - you've helped me more than you know." He would stay, of course. Dahlia de Mai had become his home. And if he did value her friendship, he owed Cercelee an apology... Fate worked in strange ways, indeed. Hanna had been the last lady he expected to meet in the snowy cemetery, and yet, had the best possible outcome.



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#8
This post kinda stank. I don't think I should have replied; and if you like, we can end here.

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The female found herself hoping that his stays with her would be often and long. The sentiment slightly confused her; she'd not had any boyfriends or mates, for that matter, had never had her first love, and so did not realize the meaning of her feelings toward Slay. She didn't know what to do with those feelings, either, and simply sat on them till she could sit and wonder on her own.


To his statement regarding too many faces or not enough, she agreed, remarking, Yes, I'd much rather find myself in the company of a few good friends than in a pack of a million, or all by my lonesome. His face was serene, and then a smile graced his lips, causing Hanna's mouth to smile widely as well. That was the thing with smiles. They were the best kind of contagion, and the only one she'd ever allow any patients to be infected with.


Hanna chuckled at Slay's declaration of his better mood. She was pleased that she'd been able to help him, and scoffed when he deemed it a waste of her time. "Slay, spending time helping others is no waste of my time." Silently, curiously, she added to herself, Especially not you. Her day had been well spent in Slay's company.

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#9
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ooc: Nah, I can wrap it up! C:

I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

The arctic wolf was pleased by Hanna's happy smile and cheerful demeanor. It was like they had both buoyed each other up, each one helping the other, until they both felt the same lightness. Slay could ignore the winter weather for once, and simply enjoy the company of his long-absent friend. He did not, of course, pick up on the more subtle nuances of the encounter -- the easy-going male was unfortunately oblivious to the feelings Hanna was beginning to develop. His own needed to be sorted out - they were still far too jumbled up to make any sense of...


"Well, in that case, milady, you're welcome to my company at any time," he drawled with his signature roguish grin. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again soon..." He laughed and gave her one more playful nudge, as a sort of parting gesture. Then in high spirits, Slay padded away from the wintry cemetery, off to seek his fortunes elsewhere.


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