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indentIt was odd how fast and how much things had changed with just the arrival of a single wolf. Phasma was confused suddenly, questioning her place within her own pack and questioning the faith that she had in Phoenix as an Alpha. Of course, Phasma didn't want her thoughts about him in a position of power to affect their friendship but she also had to accept the fact that it likely would. There were so many different views on the story of what had happened but they all eventually led to the same conclusion. A pup had trespassed into Inferni and Skoll had gone in to save her. It was most complicated because Phasma would have done the same thing herself, gone in to save the child, but that didn't mean she would hurt to children in the process.
indent"Phoenix? She called out as she neared his den, her voice somewhat quiet as to not disturb the children that she knew might be inside. Four paws brought her to slow down once she was a few feet away, though she didn't make herself comfortable as she might have at any other time. It would most assuredly be best if they took a walk while they spoke, kept their conversation private. She was concerned, certainly, but that didn't mean she wanted to stir up panic or trouble within the pack, she needed only to express her extreme concern.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">Being an alpha was like being caught in a constrictor’s grip. There was so much that Phoenix wanted to do, but could not because of his rank. It was his job to set an example for the other wolves in his pack. He had to be constantly on guard not to stagger, and yet he did so anyway. His own opinions didn’t matter any more; indeed, he had to stifle them and replace them with a code of conduct that he didn’t always agree with but had to follow for the sake of peace in the lands. Unfortunately, the new leader of Storm was just now figuring that out.
He was not totally blameless for his inexperience. While Gibraltar was around he should have paid closer attention to how his leader conducted business. When he’d banned Skoll all Phoenix could see was the shocking severity of the punishment, not the (logical, if not heartless) reasons behind it. Storm was supposed to be a neutral pack, and he had almost broken that tradition. But that had been the reason he’d asked Phasma to come to Storm and help him lead the pack. He knew he needed her experience to guide him until he learned to manage Storm on his own.
Unfortunately, that had not happened. He’d been expecting his “gamma” to come back out of the woodwork, and had been preparing what he’d need to say. “Phasma,” he greeted, sounding a bit more cold than he’d intended to. He didn’t want things to be this way but his hand had been forced. “Let’s take a walk.” He said nothing after that until they were out of earshot of his den. Finally, though, he sighed, as said, “When I asked you t’come here an’ help me run Storm it was ‘cause I didn’t think I could run it myself. I wanted your help, Phasma. I wanted you t’help keep me from makin’ any mistakes—not run t’the other leaders of Storm as soon as I made a decision you didn’t agree with an’ tell ‘em what a bad alpha I was.” | [/html]
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I wasn't aware Phoenix knew that Phasma had spoken to anyone.
indentIt seemed that she'd been correct in assuming that Phoenix would be at his den, he now had a rather large family to care for, and when he moved from inside she greeted him with a very faint nod. There was a strange look on her face, something embedded in the back of her aging eyes. It was concern mostly, something swirling about inside that could almost feel the potential danger that was looming in the distance. She didn't like the feeling of the fate of Storm hanging on the shoulders of a wolf who wasn't even a pack member. He spoke and she nodded, noting the tone of his voice in comparison to how he usually sounded. It was odd, really.
indentThey'd moved a good distance away by the point that he'd begun to speak and, as always, the raven woman paid close attention to what was said. As the words continued, though, Phasma's steps slowed to a stop and a different look soon took over her features. It was anger, hurt even, and she scoffed. "I came here to help Phoenix. I did what any good Alpha would do. I didn't go running around announcing to the world that you're a horrid Alpha. I went to get both sides of the story, to hear what was done and why, and I came to my own conclusions about what happened." She paused then, taking control of an anger that she hadn't felt before. "And I came to talk to you about it. If you can't appreciate that, the way that I do things, then I'm not sure why I'm here."
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">There had once been a time when Phasma had complimented with the word "wise." He had denied it then, knowing the truth about himself. The truth was that deep down he was still a nervous little boy, afraid of failure. Certainly, he'd learned a few lessons in his hard-knock life but he had no great sage. Now, he wondered if Phasma had changed her mind and considered him an abject fool. He certainly didn’t seem to trust him or his judgement at all any more. It was a shame it all had to happen this way. She had lost faith in him, and, unfortunately, the feeling was mutual.
The massive male had never seen Phasma angry before, and her reaction made him freeze in his walk. Fortunately, she’s already stopped walking, and he turned around to face her. After it was apparent she was done, Phoenix looked her in the eyes. There was turmoil swirling inside her head, but Phoenix felt the same way himself. “But you ain’t alpha,” he pointed out. He was, and she was the Gamma. It was her task to gather information on the other packs and clans for him, not the other way around. “An’ you didn’t come t’me til now, that’s th’whole point. D’you have any idea how much conflict I could’ve avoided if you’d come t’me an’ told me how you felt a lot sooner? I respected your opinion, Phasma. That’s why I asked for your help.” Respected being in the past tense. Now, he and Phasma would have to rebuild their trust of each other… assuming they hadn’t passed the point of no return already. He certainly hoped not. | [/html]
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indent"I may not be Alpha but perhaps I should be." And there it was, the first time that Phasma had ever spoken out of anger and not out of sense. How dare he. It was all that she could think, really, as she stood staring at him. It was suddenly very obvious that he didn't understand and, sadly, Phasma suddenly felt as if he hadn't even tried to understand. Calming herself, though only slightly, she took another breath and spoke once more. "I would hope beyond all else that my leadership would do the same as I. That they would go and find out everything they could before deciding what they thought about my judgment. What I did was more for myself than it was for you, else I could've just decided that you were a moron and nothing more."
indentThe calm woman, the one that would rather retreat and keep everyone safe than fight, was practically spitting her words at him. Here he was, angry because he thought that she assumed him incompetent, when he was now himself assuming. "I'd actually decided that perhaps you hadn't thought it through completely in how sudden it all happened, that maybe you needed a little guidance in thinking of all the things that could happen. That is why I came to you now, after I'd made my decision, yet you assume that I set out to turn everyone against you." She shook her head then, obvious that her anger had turned more to hurt than anything. "Perhaps I should have stuck to just thinking you a moron." Quiet and pained came her words then. She was ready to give up. Why stay with an Alpha that had so little faith in her?
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">It was a complete shock, seeing Phasma speak so rashly. Back in the day he’d admired her for her rashness, her calm ability to keep going on despite the hardships in her life. He’d believed that if either of them had their act together, it was her. Now… he wasn’t so certain. Her words angered him, and a quick retort rose in his throat—“You couldn’t even keep Syemv t’gether, how do you expect to run Storm?”—but he reigned himself in, as he’d conditioned himself to do. To give in to negative emotions was to lose control and put himself in danger. That was the attitude that kept him alive as a young, and that was the attitude that still served him well as an adult… most of the time.
Still, he was not completely above emotional reaction, and his eyes narrowed as she spoke. “That might’ve been a good idea,” he said, “’Cept you never came t’me t’get my or Skoll’s side of th’story, not that I recall. I’ll admit, I didn’t expect my decision t’become th’big deal that is has, an’ I admit, I hadn’t thought it all th’way through. But, I was there when Skoll was banned. I know more about what happened than you think. Skoll didn’t have any business over in Inferni, yeah, but he did what he bleieved was th’right thing t’do. Gibraltar was originally gonna jus’ demote him as punishment for puttin’ Storm at risk. He didn’t ban him until Skoll started speakin’ disrespectfully towards him… in fact, right now you sound jus’ like he did that day.” It was a surprising comparison, one that Phoenix himself didn’t even realize until he brought the memories up and compared them to the situation at hand. Oh, what twisted irony this whole damned situation was. | [/html]
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indent"I heard what Skoll had to say, believe it or not, then again I suppose you weren't there to see that." How else would she have found out about it had they not spoken of it? "And I would have expected you to appreciate the fact that I had enough faith in you to not need your side of the story. Maybe it wasn't what everyone wanted, perhaps it seemed more rash than anyone might have liked to think, but Gibraltar did what he thought he needed to for the protection of everyone, whether it was keeping Inferni out of Storm or keeping away someone who had the gall to threaten the Alpha." She eyed him for a moment then, watching. Words could be twisted things, spoken two different ways to try and soften the meaning.
indent"Then I'll save you the trouble of making a decision you'll regret, since you disliked Gibraltar's decision so much." Not another word was spoken. Not a nod or a passing glance. Phasma turned then, not bothering to give heed to whatever else he might have to say, whatever it was he was going to do now. Despite her best efforts, everything she had done to try and make her see the whole thing more clearly than before, they were not appreciated and Phasma wouldn't stay for any more of it. Again the wandering lady, again without a home. It seemed destined now.
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[html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... efinal.png);background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-bottom:140px; background-position: bottom center;">As much as Phoenix tried to stay himself, he knew he was not acting like the same wolf that he was two months ago. His life had finally began to seem like a worthwhile experience. Children, a mate, and friends throughout the land. In the time since being placed in charge of Storm he’d lost weight, he’d lost three of his children, and he’d lost his peace of mind. Pretty soon the “piece of” part would be redundant. As much as he knew the idea was silly, there were times when Phoenix actually did wonder if the world was out to get him. Being paranoid was no fun; he needed some time to relax and think things through but as of yet he hadn’t found a chance to get away, even if just for a few minutes.
He wanted to remain friends with Phasma, he really did. He didn’t want the burden of leadership to take away one more thing from his life, but it seemed like this was inevitable. Shocked, he watched her walk away. It was not until she was almost out of site that he realized that she was actually leaving for good. “Wait…” he said, weakly—too weakly for her to hear him. This was not how he’d pictured their “talk” happening. He wanted to air his grievances, but he’d expected her to as well, then hopefully they would come to a meeting of minds and newfound understanding of each other. Instead, he’d attacked her and she’d responded with anger and left. His ears flattened as the burden of his job increased a hundred fold with the departure of the wolf he had hoped would help him run Storm, instead of this tragedy.
Sighing, he turned away to return to the one place where he still felt happiness: the side of his family. It was too late to go after her now, and even if he did he didn’t know what he could say at this point to save the situation. “Dammit, Gibraltar,” he muttered. “What were you thinkin’?” | [/html]
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