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Coli had only been accepted to the pack a little while ago, and yet she was already straying... The slender girl let her hand trail against the cold surface of the building she stood before, her warm blue eyes wandering up the wall she considered scaling. It would be a foolish venture, she decided, and instead stepped softly through the snow along its length. She did not know the building was a university; a place where humans had once flocked to learn, to mature, to better themselves. All she knew was that the edifice was strangled by vines of ivy, and that plant life was fascinating to her. Winter had all but killed the flora on the outside, but through the cracked windowpanes, Coli could see the vegetation indoors merely had a little frostbite damage. If she could claim this place as her home, she would have gladly. But alas; it was too far from Dahlia de Mai's borders, and she had promised to remain with her dear friend Cercelee, even at the cost of Haku and Firefly's violent hatred.
Haku... She could never keep the twisted male far from her thoughts, try as she might. Every reflection she glanced at held his face for her - she looked uncannily similar to him, with the warm chocolate-brown fur, melting into the soft cream-toned underside, licking up her throat, down her belly, to the tips of her toes... From a distance, she knew she could even be mistaken for him, albeit a shorter, younger, more feminine version. He had apparently kept her a secret from all who had known him - she had been an accident to begin with, and then to top things off, he had left her for dead more than a year ago... She shivered from the haunting recollection. It was something she had never been able to get over, something that was constantly etched into her thoughts and actions. She had become a fearful, withdrawn shell of a woman, choosing the companionship of plants over other wolves. "Pathetic" was the word her stepmother, Firefly, slung around so frequently in her direction. She wasn't wrong.
"And now, to be a sister... What does it mean, to have younger siblings...?" she mused aloud, her voice hesitant and soft in the deafening silence. There wasn't much wildlife in the abandoned human district - aside from a smattering of solitary birds, the werewolf was by herself. She bit her lip, worry written across her delicate features. Now that she was accepted into the pack, wasn't she expected to participate in her family's comings and goings...? Shouldn't she play some role in her newborn brothers' lives, despite the fact that she had been disowned...? She had always wanted a family of her own; children to raise and to love unconditionally, although now she felt too emotionally crippled to love anyone or anything. She didn't even know about Haku's other illegitimate offspring - only that this was his first official litter, since he had finally taken a mate (one younger than his firstborn daughter, she added bitterly). "Is family supposed to be this screwed up?"
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300+ ... Alexey's a loser. xD
Dalhousie University had always been off limits for Alexey; until now, that is. The ability to shift was something she’d only recently acquired: opening doors and manipulating objects were actions that she’d never executed before, up until a few weeks ago. And even now, she still had a hard time coordinating her movements. Putting one paw in front of the other was a lot simpler than trying to keep your balance on two legs. Often enough, she found herself staring at her feet to make sure she wouldn’t end up falling on her face. It was hard work, especially with all the ice and snow covering the ground. She’d slipped a grand total of six times that day, earning her a few bruises here and there. The Circèe could only hope that all this slipping and falling wasn’t all for nothing.
She was treading carefully along one of the university’s main walls, occasionally pressing her hand against the rocky mass to keep her stability when she heard a voice from around the corner. "Is family supposed to be this screwed up?" Alexey couldn’t help but let a light-hearted chuckle escape her maw. It seemed she wasn’t the only one with family issues. The tawny woman quickened her pace the best she could until she reached the end of the wall. Poking her head around the corner, she finally laid eyes on the troubled soul. Her resemblance to the Dahlian Lillium was striking, but Alexey simply brushed it off thinking that the chocolate femme standing there was a sister of his. “Hey!” she called out, maneuvering herself around the corner while holding onto the wall for support.
There was a lot of ice in the area, but she did everything in her power to keep from falling and making an ass out of herself. Lexey smiled sheepishly as she inched closer to the other female. She was almost there, thank god.
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;P Lol!
Pointed ears pricked up at the sound of someone approaching. There was someone else out here? Had she been followed? Nervously, Coli waited until the wobbly figure came into view, and then relaxed as she saw that the stranger was unaccustomed to walking on two legs. She looked to be about Coli's age, probably a few moons older - but she was that unfamiliar with the Optime form? Granted, Coli had remained shifted for almost a year now, and would likely be wobbly when she returned to all fours, but... It was a quirk that rendered the tawny girl harmless, so Coli approached with minimal fear. That wasn't to say 'fearless', though...
"H-hey..." she called softly, stepping alongside the roughshod wall to meet her half-way. As the females drew nearer, Coli realized that this must be one of her packmates - the familiar scent of Dahlia de Mai hung about her fur, as soon it would adhere to her own. "C-colibri Haki, Filix," she stammered, shyly averting her baby-blue eyes. "I go by Coli, though..."
She was terribly timid around - well, anyone. Was she supposed to surrender her rank? She knew she was at the bottom of the pack anyway, not that it mattered. Anything to stay out of the Lilium's way.
"Y-you'll get the hang of it, pretty quickly," Coli added, letting her long hair obscure her face as she ducked her head, letting her ears fall back. At least it wasn't as cold this morning as it had been the day prior, so she didn't have to add uncontrollable shivering to the list of annoyingly fearful tendencies. After all the time she'd spent in solitary confinement, she could hardly be blamed for her social anxieties - but it didn't make joining a large pack any easier, especially one with so many family members.
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Alexey found herself mimicking the other woman’s movements as she inched closer. Good thing she hadn’t decided to try this at home. The Circèe could only imagine what would’ve happened if Svara had found her unable to walk properly. That little brat would’ve had a field day for sure. Lexey still couldn’t understand why she was tolerated within the pack. Young or not, the adolescent needed to change her attitude before she got herself into some serious trouble.
Her smile widened when the female introduced herself as Colibri Haki. A new pack mate, huh? Lexey was pleased to see that this one seemed to have her head screwed on right; she had a few confidence issues obviously, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with good company. “Nice to meet ya, Coli. I’m Alexey, Circèe and Caregiver of Dahlia de Mai.” she said softly while searching for the girl’s hidden baby blue eyes. This was unreal. The chocolate femme was obviously related to the Lillium, and yet their personalities were like night and day. “You’re related to Haku, I’m assuming? Are you a sister of his?” she inquired, not stopping to think that her new pack mate was young enough to be his daughter.
Coli’s nervous tendencies reminded her of Adelaida a little bit. Her sibling’s social anxiety was nowhere as extreme, but there was still a slight resemblance. Alexey was used to it by now. She knew not to invade the other girl’s personal bubble.
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"Alexey... That's such a pretty name," Coli sighed with a touch of envy. Her own name wasn't bad, but she lamented the fact that she hadn't been given a real surname. Not Sadira, not Soul, but the made-up one, 'Haki'. That way, nobody knew where she came from. Even her mother had been 'Jolie', but since her dam had passed away with all her littermates, they had never met. Perhaps she worried too much about unimportant things, but she just wanted to be normal again, and it really felt like nothing could fix the gaping hole inside her...
Alexey was very friendly, though, and what was more, the fellow Dahlian wasn't an intimidating figure like all the others she'd met so far. She shyly brushed the long hair from her face, letting her blue eyes shine freely. "And... you're the Caregiver? Does that mean... you get to look after the pups?"
Oh, could this new face give her information about her new brothers? She knew there were two boys, but still, she hadn't even heard their names. She couldn't go near the cabin, not with Svara and Firefly and Haku all hating her as they did. Maybe... Maybe if Alexey didn't mind... "Maybe... sometime I could see them with you?" She shuffled her footpaws with embarrassment, looking down at the snow powdering atop them. 'Caregiver' sounded like a wonderful co-rank. It... wasn't something Coli deserved, though.
Haku.
She said his name so easily, Alexey did. She couldn't help but flinch at the word, though. Coli let her head hang, mumbling, "N-no... I'm not his sister." She hated to correct the older girl, but she couldn't let the lie remain between them. The truth would come out easily, what with the uproar her re-appearance had caused in the pack. Losing the nerve to admit what she considered a terrible truth, the chocolate-and-cream femme wrung her hands, falling silent.
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Alexey flushed with embarrassment at the compliment that came her way. “Thank you ,Coli,” she murmured, obviously taken aback by the other female’s nice words. Her smile widened as her new pack mate mustered up the courage to finally exhibit those penetrating blue eyes. “You’re much prettier when you’re not hiding behind all that hair,” she said honestly. Lexey nodded energetically as the chocolate lass questioned her duties. It pleased her to see that Colibri was genuinely interested in those puppies, unlike the majority of the pack. Those poor cubs were going to need plenty of affection since Firefly and Haku were far from being model parents. Not to mention, Svara was a terrible influence too. Alexey shared Cercelee’s worries; Emwe and Conor were going to need a miracle. “I was actually planning on paying them a visit later on. Would you like to tag along?”
And then, out of nowhere, Colibri became withdrawn once more. Alexey noticed her flinch right when Haku’s name was brought up. At first, she couldn’t quite understand what was going on but then it finally dawned on her; her smile faded with the sudden realization of who this girl truly was. “Daughter?” she said hesitantly. That would explain the blue-eyed woman’s genuine interest for Firefly’s children. But why on earth was she so terrified of her own father?
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Coli squeaked in surprise, an embarrassed flush creeping up her countenance. "Al-Alexey, don't be ridiculous! I'm not pretty at all!" She waved her hand dismissively, distressed by the direct observation. She was often grateful for the screen of long hair that could hide her from the world when she no longer wished to see it; it took a conscious effort to reveal herself, so to speak. The fragile soul would take a long time to mend... but a good friend could do wonders.
Coli was glad for the quick subject change - jumping back to the topic of her newborn brothers. Her heart fluttered with excitement at the thought of meeting them for the first time, and she let her hands clasp together anxiously, elated by Alexey's thoughtful invitation. "You... you wouldn't mind? And, and, w-will the parents be home? They won't want to see me, you know, and I don't want to get you in trouble..." She did not know how either of the mated pair had been handling the new family - Firefly seemed like the sort of wolf that would want to get out of the house as soon as she could, stretch her legs and enjoy the freedom from her big pregnant belly. Coli felt a pang of jealousy, considering that her Sadira relative was several moons younger than her, and already blessed with children. They were Haku's children, though; nothing to be jealous of. She had come close to bearing that particular blessing herself...
As Alexey's smile faded and she guessed correctly, Coli nodded numbly. She had to explain that relationship so many times in the past few days, and it only made her feel worse and worse about the situation she was in. Any day now, Haku would fly down on her from above and force her to leave, or hurt her again. She hadn't the nerve to confront him - only to let her best friend Cercelee know why she had been missing for a whole year. "We're... not on speaking terms?" she whispered, smiling bitterly at the understatement. "I only just met his mate, but she hated me on sight, so... I haven't gotten to see my new brothers. I don't even know what they look like, what their names are. And, really, should I see them? If my father disowned me, they're not really my siblings, are they?" She kicked a bit of snow with her footpaw, staring unhappily down at the ground.
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Alexey roared with laughter as her new pack mate dismissed the compliment. Obviously, flattery wasn’t something the girl normally dealt with. Fair enough. The Circèe moved on, not wanting to make Colibri more uncomfortable than she already was. She nodded once more, as to confirm the fact that she didn’t mind if the chocolate female tagged along. When Coli mentioned the parents and how they wouldn’t want to see her, Lexey’s ears perked up curiously. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t they want to see you?” she questioned, slightly taken aback by such a statement. Firefly and Haku weren’t the easiest people to get along with, but Colibri was part of the family after all. Why couldn’t the Lillium’s presumed daughter see her brothers?
Colibri provided the answer to that question. Her reply was evasive, but it was enough for Alexey to get a rough idea of what was going on. Haku had reacted harshly when Firefly had told him she was pregnant. He had never wanted those puppies in the first place. Lexey assumed it had been the same with the blue-eyed girl. And on top of everything, her new friend had run into Firefly. The tawny femme didn’t even want to think about that encounter. “Firefly doesn’t like many people. Don’t take it too personally.” she explained, trying to soothe Colibri’s emotional wounds. “You have two healthy brothers and,” she paused, pursing her lips together before continuing. “and one sister who didn’t make it. I don’t think Firefly has named them yet. “ Alexey frowned as the Filix mentioned how her father had disowned her. How could he? “I think you should see them even if you’re not on speaking terms with Haku; they are still your siblings after all. He tried disowning them too, you know. It just didn’t work this time.”
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Coli shrank back at Alexey's loud laughter, startled by the abrupt sound. She relaxed after a moment, realizing that the young woman hadn't meant to scare or insult her by it, but she was still left wondering how she was supposed to react. She herself hadn't laughed in a long time...
Coli stifled a little gasp, her hands flying up to her muzzle. "A sister?" she squeaked, her blue eyes filling with sadness. "I didn't know that Firefly lost one... I would have had a sister...!" She shuffled her footpaws in the snow, gazing down at the ground. That was a surprise... Well, Haku wouldn't want another girl, would he? He hadn't been too fond of his first... Alexey continued talking, and Coli listened quietly. She felt a small flicker of anger when the pretty Koios femme mentioned Haku's reaction. "What do you mean... it didn't work this time? You mean because of the pack being there? That... makes them lucky," she breathed, leaning heavily against the rough wall of the building they had met beside. "Me, Haku, and Cercelee lived all alone together in the middle of nowhere. When Da- I m-mean, Haku, started acting funny... like he wasn't himself... I got Cercelee to run away from home, so that she'd be safe. I guess if we had been in a pack, both of us would have been safe..." Coli's posture slumped, wilted by the unfortunate circumstances that had left her such a fragile shell of a woman. Perhaps she had been wrong to come here after all - seeing how everyone seemed to be better off than she had made her feel jealous and lonely. Unless that was the result of living a year of complete and utter solitude in the forest...
"Alexey, do you have siblings? Is that what you would do in this case, go see them no matter what? I... I want to, but, maybe it would be better if they didn't know I existed... They could pretend they had a happy family, a normal one..."
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Alexey watched the chocolate girl’s reactions intently. Everything about her was so expressive, her eyes never failed to mirror her thoughts and fears. The Circèe couldn’t help but wonder how her new pack mate would hold up within Dahlia de Mai. The pack had its fair share of unruly members; especially that brat named Svara. Lexey could already see the little bitch taking advantage of Colibri. But maybe she was just being paranoid. Maybe the Haki female did have a backbone. Only time would tell.
The tawny girl hesitated before speaking, weighing the pros and cons of telling Haku’s daughter all about the recent birth. She felt it important to mention the Lillium’s reaction though, hoping that it would allow the Filix to see the softer side of her father, “He wanted nothing to do with them at first but he’s slowly warming up to the idea. Haku seemed crushed when he saw the dead puppy,” she said carefully, not wanting to get into too many details.
Alexey listened quietly as Colibri opened up a little, quite intrigued by her story. She was a little puzzled by the vagueness, not understanding what the blue-eyed lass meant when she said that Haku started acting out of character, like he wasn’t himself. She was also taken by surprise when Colibri mentioned how she knew the Rosea. Seems like the girl was lucky after all; with Cercelee as her friend, the Lillium would refrain from picking on her. “So what happened? Why didn’t you run away too?” she questioned, anticipating the second chapter of this novel.
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Sorry for making you wait! ^^; This is kinda rambling, too...
The young woman swallowed, her long eyelashes fluttering nervously. Alexey was a good listener; attentive and polite, but always knowing when to interject, to keep her story rolling. Coli hadn't really explained her full story, not to anyone - Auntie Mew didn't want to hear it, lest it tarnish her image of her little brother, and Cercelee hadn't the time to sit down and catch up. "Why... didn't I run away too? The thought never crossed my mind," she murmured, brows furrowed. "I guess I thought he would track us down if both of us left... Silly of me, because I don't think he would. He had sent us off together to join a pack, and it was some time later before we came back to him. I'm sure he was happier on his own." Coli let her eyes flutter closed, trying to picture how it had been back then. She had been happy with their little family, playing boldly with Cercelee, her cousin who was like a sister, and spending time with the capricious man who had sired her. They had been getting older, maturing, becoming more rebellious and intelligent, and it was putting a strain on Haku, who seemed to resent fatherhood more by the day. Or was it just that he was battling his own demons, and took it out on the girls? Most days she didn't blame him for his temper. It was hard for a daughter to hate her father without a real reason...
"I... anyway, he... Well, we fought a lot, once Cer wasn't there anymore. He had such a short fuse; everything was an argument. I had recently learned how to shift, and - I don't even remember what started the argument, but - he snapped..." Coli bowed her head, fiddling with her claws. She didn't mind telling Alexey, but she had the sinking feeling that the girl would be disgusted by her afterwards. It wasn't exactly something she was proud to admit to. "He... I don't know what went through his mind, but he attacked me... Physically, he assaulted me, beat me to the ground. I was terrified, and couldn't defend myself at all. He had never hit me before, and he almost killed me that night. I couldn't stand up afterwards, not for days... and..." Despite her fragile psyche, Coli was not one to cry. The last time she had shed tears was after that night, realizing that she had been left for dead. Her voice trembled, but did not break, and she softly finished her tale of woe. "I was laying on the floor... and then... he decided to... dominate me," she finished softly, hoping that Alexey would know what she meant. She had only once used the ugly word "rapist", and that had been when Firefly and Svara had so vehemently defended him. "There's not much to tell after that - he left, never came back. I didn't think I'd ever see him again. It was a year before I got up the courage to look for other wolves. I was lucky to have lived, I guess... but it's not really living to be afraid of everything, is it?" She watched as her breath crystallized in the chill air. "See why the boys might be better off without me around...? I've often thought that no one would have missed me, if I had just died that night like I should have..."
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Alexey almost instantly regretted her question. What Colibri was about to reveal was going to change everything; most importantly, the way she would perceive Dahlia de Mai’s Lillium from now on. Lexey had been able to accept the fact that the second leader in command wasn’t a saint, far from it. He was a murderer and he was cruel. But a rapist too? The more Colibri talked, the more Alexey’s head seemed to spin. She couldn’t change what had happened to the girl standing before her but she could prevent it from happening again, or at least try to. Her new pack mate took a short pause, long enough for the Circèe to catch her breath. “Does Cercelee know about this?”
No, she couldn’t. The Rosea had morals. What had Firefly gotten herself into? It wasn’t even about her. If the Acer wanted to put up with Haku’s bullshit, then it was her decision. But what about the two boys? Would they remain unharmed? Alexey wasn’t even sure if she’d be able to respect the Lillium like she’d done in the past. She took a deep breath and remained quiet for a moment, hands clenched into fists as she thought things through. “You’re not really afraid of everything if you mustered up the courage to come back and face him, right?” she said, glancing up to meet Coli’s eyes of blue.
It was the truth. Colibri Haki was a strong woman, at least in Lexey’s opinion. “You should leave that decision up to the boys when they get a little older. If I were you, I’d do everything in my power to be part of their lives and protect them from harm,” she explained, choosing her words carefully. Alexey thought of her siblings and how they often fought over trivial things but she couldn’t imagine living without them. “To answer your question, I do have siblings; one sister and one brother. Adelaida and Sankor. You might run into them if you stick around long enough. They annoy the hell out of me but I can’t imagine what I’d do without them,” she offered with a smile.
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OoC: So sorry for the wait, hun. ^.^;
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Coli fiddled with her claws, her head still bowed so that her long mane of hair cascaded about her face, silky-chestnut strands hiding the sadness in her expression. Alexey was bothered by the news, although she did not immediately show disgust towards her acquaintance. Would she pretend that it was okay to still be friends with Coli, even if she was a tainted soul, something irreparably corroded? She could only continue to drag others down with her. She was not yet established in this pack; it might be kindest to disappear somewhere, never to show her pathetic hide again.
"Cercelee knows," she said simply, catching a snowflake on the tip of her claw. It quickly melted, and she let her hand drop back to her side. "When I arrived at the pack land, a few days ago, I was harassed by Firefly and Svara. Cercelee showed up to dismiss them, and I let her know. She told me that I was still expected to be obedient to him, since he's the Lilium and I'm a newcomer. Then she had to go." All right, maybe that wasn't fair. It wasn't like Cer didn't care or anything, she was just trying to be diplomatic. It was strange to see how much her childhood friend had matured in the year they'd been apart. And how Coli hadn't grown up at all, other than learning to shift. The girl didn't know that Cercelee had become so enraged by the news that she had flown off and attacked Haku, physically scarring the man in several places. All she knew was that her white-furred cousin had been scarce since Coli was admitted.
Alexey spoke again, saying the last words Coli expected to hear.
“You’re not really afraid of everything if you mustered up the courage to come back and face him, right?”
Speechless, Coli brushed the hair from her face, meeting her intense amber gaze. No, Alexey was the strong one here. Surely if she had half of the Koios girl's confidence, she would be able to get her life together. Shaking her head mutely, Coli really didn't know what to say in response, couldn't even muster up a weak denial. Thankfully, the subject turned back to siblings, something she had inquired about before the story.
"Adelaida and Sankor," she repeated slowly, committing the names to memory. "I... hope I do get to meet them..."
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300+ We’ll end it here.  We can have a more recent one soon!
She wasn’t surprised to hear that Firefly and Svara had picked on the woman before her. Firefly had probably done it out of spite just because Coli did not have a positive opinion of her mate. As for Svara, well, that kid simply did not have her head screwed on right to begin with. Alexey could also understand why the Rosea had told the girl to respect her father despite everything he’d done to her. She could not afford to have one more rebel running around; Dahlia de Mai was already chaotic enough. Somehow, she doubted Cercelee would simply overlook such a thing. The two leaders had always dealt with their problems privately and it would probably be the same in this case.
Coli seemed genuinely interested in the rest of the Koios family; it made Alexey proud in a way. When the chocolate female mentioned that she hoped to meet them one day, the caregiver had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying something mean about Adelaida. She loved her sister, yes, but Ade wasn’t really someone many people got along with. The tawny girl suddenly wondered if her masked sibling had made any friends at all since joining the ranks of Dahlia de Mai.
“You’d like Sankor,” she offered instead, focusing on the normal one. Her brother had no enemies that she knew of. His flirtatious and charming attitude had him on everyone’s good side. “And Ade, well, she has problems getting along with people.” She left it at that. Degrading her sister would make her look bad; Coli could make her own opinion of Adelaida. “I think I’m going to head home, Coli. All this standing around on two legs is making me tired. I live in the small house by the cemetery by the way. If you ever feel like stopping by, feel free to do so,” she offered with a smile before turning on her heels and walking away from the blue-eyed girl she now considered her friend.
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