The waste.[html]
They don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell.
Valkyrie had loved going to see the sunset so much that Ryan couldn’t help but promise to take her there again soon. And she figured with the weather seeming to be nice for the day that she would bring her daughter back to the shore. It was a slow, clumsy walk with Val at her side, but Ryan didn’t mind so much. She found that whenever she was alone with her daughter she often felt content with the world.
The two broke through the stand of trees marking the edge of the forest, and made their way along the smooth stones towards the water. Though it was neither time for a sunrise or set, the sunshine glittered wonderfully along the glassy surface of the water. The soft lull of the crashing waves made things even more tranquil. Valkyrie took off to explore and sniff out shells and such along the sandy shore, while Ryan reclined on the smooth rocks. She kept a watchful eye on her daughter, but permitted her to explore a little further today than usual.
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He knew he shouldn't even try and come close to the lands again but his mind was a constant whirlwind of the faces he'd lost to the clan and the wounds that had been left ripped across his heart. The time between the two lovers hadn't even begun to heal the wounds and he didn't think that they would. He thought if he was gone long enough that he could forget about the crimson eyed beauty that was a gem in the lands of Inferni but he was wrong, he was always wrong when he needed to be right. He sighed softly to himself as his paws brought him closer and closer to the sea where he need not tread for many reasons.
DaVinci had caught the sound of small feet across the rocks and sands as he lifted his eyes from the ground he'd been treading upon. His mind had been clouded and he hadn't even been thinking of what could happen if he ran into another out here. He paused as he caught sight of the small child before him, his ears flicking back. At first he'd thought it possibly could have been Zana but he knew there was no way he could be that lucky to come across her outside the clan lands, Gabriel would have set to watching her more closely after his failed attempted to bring his sibling home. He stopped in his tracks and called out softly to the unknown child. "Hey.." his voice low as he wondered why one so young was so close to the waves. Was there something that drew children to the ocean.. Gabriel had said that his son had found Zana there too..
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They don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell.
Valkyrie stumbled on little paws along the shore, sniffing at this and that and getting used to the scent of sea salt in her nose. She pawed at a few abandoned shells, grinning when the underside of one revealed a majestic swirl of colors. Aside from that, there was just random spots of slimy grass, dark brown in color and not really that appealing to the small Inferni pup.
Her small ears swiveled atop her head, and she looked up with temporarily blue colored eyes and smiled at the stranger. "Hiii," she cooed, smiling broadly towards the stranger as she looked down towards the small pebbles beneath her paws. There were less rocks and more sand closer to the waves, but there was still plenty to keep the young girl occupied. "Wha’s your name?" She asked the steel colored man, before shooting a quick glance at her mother. She had been warned not to talk to strangers, but Valkyrie hoped maybe she could get away with it so long as Ryan didn’t lift her eyes from her sewing…
The fabric between Ryan’s fingers was one she had been coveting for awhile now. She had finally decided to make something with it and figured a new dress would do her good. She needed a fresh outfit for this new chapter on life. She smiled to herself as she fed the needle threw the cloth and hummed quietly.
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He watched the small girl as she scampered across the sands and seemed to study everything in sight with such happiness. A small jolt ran through his mind as he wished that the small form had belonged to Zana but that was about as far as he got seeing how she wasn't Zana and he couldn't turn her into his wild and carefree little sister. He sighed softly before offering the girl a smile again as she spoke up to him, those baby blue eyes smiled back before turning her short attention back to the world around her.
When she asked him just who he was DaVinci spoke up, "I'm DaVinci.." he said softly as his eyes followed her's farther up the beach where suddenly he seemed to lose his voice. He cleared his throat suddenly and asked. "What's your name?" his eyes not leaving the form of Ryan as she seemed to be caught up in her work. He wondered if she even thought of him anymore as she seemed to be quite calm and collected sitting there working away.
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They don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell.
Valkyrie looked up expectantly at DaVinci, testing out his name for herself, "DaVincee." She saw the steel colored hybrid glance towards Ryan and instantly the little girl frowned. She was hoping that he wouldn’t notice her and vice versa. She didn’t want to get into any trouble. "I’m Valkree," she said with a big smile. The blue eyes quickly shot to Ryan and discovered her mother still wrapped up in her sewing. She smiled then, at ease for another few moments, and looked back to DaVinci. "D’you like the oshun too?" Of the few places she had been allowed to go, the shore was Valkyrie’s favorite.
Ryan slid the needle into the fabric, pulling it almost subconsciously through to the other side. It had become a rhythm, something that tended to put the young woman at ease. She had stopped her humming and let the sound of the waves lull her into complacency. Yet after a moment, the voice of her daughter carried on the wind drew Ryan’s blood gaze upwards. What she saw made her stomach drop. She knew whom it was without having to clarify. "DaVinci," she whispered to herself. She stopped what she was doing and just watched, conflicted for the moment on how she would proceed.
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DaVinci smiled at the little girl though his heart was aching. He knew this wasn't his child and he knew who it did belong to. He couldn't take that hurt and pain out on the small adventurous spirit though, nor would he ever. Instead he lowered himself to her level and smiled. "You have a pretty name.." he said softly as she had already turned the conversation to another point. For a second he didn't do anything but stare down at her, the sorrow in his eyes strong as he realized that in another life the little girl could have been his and Ryan's.. but this wasn't another world and this wasn't another life.
He paused a moment as his eyes drifted over to the waves that were lapping at the shore before he nodded and smiled a little for the kid. "I am fond of the ocean." he said before continuing. "I've got a whole beachview of the ocean where I live.." He kept himself from looking over to the woman who'd hurt him so, but looking down at the girl before him was almost too much just the same.
He sighed softly as he lifted his head and finally let his eyes drift to the woman who by now was watching him. He didn't say anything to her, just returned the gaze, his own troubled and sad as he was met with the truth face to face.
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They don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell.
Valkyrie looked unblinking towards the water, wanting so badly to venture closer to the waves and perhaps dip a paw. Ryan had told her to stay away, though, as she didn’t want the girl to accidentally get swept into the bay. The water this time of year was freezing anyhow, and Ryan planned to let the girl venture into the ocean during the summer, after she could have proper swimming lessons.
"Y’do?" She asked, looking back to DaVinci with wide eyes. Where’s that?" Wherever this guy lived, Valkyrie wanted to go there. Though the beach wasn’t far from their den, Ryan and her mother still had to make a conscious trek to the shore in order to see its serenity. The little girl watched as DaVinci let his eyes wander to Ryan. Valkyrie’s stomach whirled beneath her ribs as she too looked towards her mother. Now, unfortunately, the blood red gaze was staring back. "Uh oh," Valkyrie muttered. "Mumma’s gonna be mad."
DaVinci’s gaze was almost too much for Ryan. She remained where she was, frozen in place. She wasn’t quite sure what she would do now. She hadn’t spoken to the handsome male since he had discovered her pregnancy along Inferni’s borders. Now there was a little soul standing before him. It really did change everything. And what would she tell Valkyrie? She wanted nothing more than for the man standing before her daughter to be Val’s father. But that wasn’t the case. And the identity of Valkyrie’s real father had remained behind closed lips, except for Savina. Ryan hadn’t even decided whether or not she would tell Hybrid about any of this. Savina’s words had scared her.
She dropped the fabric to her side and slowly rose to her feet. Somehow, they seemed unstable beneath her. Even though they were surrounded by few trees and the ocean’s expanse was immeasurable, the environment seemed suddenly hermetic. Ryan had to gasp for breath as she took unsure steps towards her daughter, and consequently, DaVinci. As she came within a few yards of them, she stopped. Instead of offering a reassuring smile to her daughter whom has sunken close to the ground in guilt, she looked towards the steel colored male. "DaVinci," was all she managed to choke out, as she was sure the blood had begun to run from her face.
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DaVinci looked down at the little girl as she watched the water. He couldn't help but smile softly, wondering what the small babe was thinking and yet wishing that he wasn't forced to live this scene here today. His soul was torn in a million pieces and yet there was nothing he could say or do to make it better, though he figured it wouldn't be too hard to make anything worse. He shook his head and just stared across the waves with the girl until she spoke up once again.
He raised a hand to scratch behind one ear as he titled his head and tried to figure out how to explain where he lived. "I do.." he confirmed for her as he began to discribe the lands across the territory. "I live in Phoenix Valley, we're far to the east of here.. There's a large beach with lots of sparkling sand and large shiny rocks. We've got some lakes there was well if the waves on the beach are too rough." He didn't know why he was going about explaining the details of the lands, it wasn't like Val was going to get a chance to really explore Phoenix Valley or even meet any of his packmates and family.
He shook his head a second as both their gazes returned to Ryan as Val spoke softly, her words light on his ears as he flicked his ears back and disagreed. "She doesn't look mad.." he tried to reassure the little girl as the de le Poer lady dropped what she was doing and slowly made her way to where they stood on the shore. He was quiet as he studied the woman he still loved but had been hurt so by.
The only word she granted him seemed so caught up in something or another there was nothing Davinci really had to say because he didn't know what there was to say. Everything was sitting right between them living and breathing. "Ryan." he said steadily, little or no emotion in the name as he nodded slightly, his form suddenly stiff as his eyes washed over the form and face of the lady, wondering what she was hiding behind this time.
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They don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to hell.
Val looked to DaVinci with wide eyes as he described his home, and she wanted desperately to go there. It sounded wonderful – much better than Inferni. There wasn’t much within the clan’s borders to really take the girl’s breath away, except for the mansion. And her breath wasn’t robbed out of beauty, but rather terror.
DaVinci’s words didn’t console her, and she instantly sunk to the ground, hoping somehow that would allow her to escape her mother’s wrath. She had been warned not to talk to strangers, but yet she had deliberately disobeyed. Her imagination wandered as she searched for a plausible punishment her mother might enact upon her.
Ryan tried not to bite her lip, and looked down to her daughter for the first time after having wandered over. "It’s alright, Val," she told her now, realizing the child was aware she had gone against Ryan’s word. She looked back to the steel boy before her, and tried to put forward a smile. For a lack of better words, she said to him, "This is Valkyrie, my daughter." The words having left her lips, she felt stupid. Obviously DaVinci was aware who this child was, but Ryan wasn’t sure how she could express her feelings. She wanted him back, of course, but she didn’t think it would be right to try and do that now. Especially not with Valkyrie here. And besides, she wasn’t even sure if he wanted her anymore. She couldn’t blame him if he didn’t.
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DaVinci felt sorry for the small girl as soon as he realized that she had no clue what had upset her mother so much. He just flicked his ears back and glanced at the girl, offering that smle again as Ryan finally spoke up for the child. He hoped that she would be able to relax once she'd been granted clearance for speaking to the hybrid male but he doubted that he'd get much more out of her now that her mother was front and center.
Instead of focusing on the girl he looked to Ryan as she gave a proper introduction to her daughter. He really couldn't think of anything smart to say besides the truth. "I've noticed." he failed so miserably there but it was all he could afford her at the moment. His gaze dropped for a moment as he sighed and just stood there looking stupid. She might not know but he'd learned after having attempted to raise his own two children that the small figured could pick up on their every emotion. Ryan should have just stayed lost in her own little world further up the beach. She was probably better there.
He glanced up to where her sewing lay as he said softly. "For once you looked happy.." He wondered where she'd been while he'd been sitting in the sands with Valkyrie.
Sorry for this horrible wait![html] http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j40/k ... ump/08.png); background-position: top center; background-repeat: no-repeat;">
"Yeah, well," her voice faded as she wiped her palms against her thighs. She wasn’t sure what she could say to DaVinci, and she had clearly ruined her daughter’s fun. She wished she would have just never noticed the steel boy so that the two could have finished their conversation and Ryan could have gotten lost in her knitting. But now what. "I guess," she lied. Her daughter made her happy – happier than she could ever imagine. But of course there was still a hole torn in her heart. One she had aided in the tearing of.
"How… have you been?" She asked, feeling stupid for not having something better to say to him. She glanced towards Valkyrie, feeling anger burn in her throat as the black stripe down the girl’s spine reminded her of Hybrid. Then she turned back to DaVinci, clearing all thoughts of that monster from her mind. That was the past now.
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DaVinci's eyes stayed their stormy hue as he watched her, Val not forgotten but still just a shadow in the rearview mirror as Ryan took center stage. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips as he could tell by her very nature that he wasn't wanted her, atleast the reading he was getting seemed to scream so clearly in his mind. He'd been the one to push her away when he'd found out about everything and it should have surprised him to see that she could carry on without him. Had he done the same?
He knew the answer was no, but he'd hidden all holed up in his dark little nature of brooding and worrying as his heart ached and bled that he could believe anything if he worked at it long enough. The question that seemed to echo in the space and time made him flick his ears back as he noticed her eyes trailing off to Val. DaVinci just shook his head and asked suddenly. "Do you want me to go, I can let you get back to the real world if you'd like.." His voice was soft and simple.
He didn't know why he'd said it, he just realized in that moment that perhaps she was so much better off without him. He knew he still had feelings for the crimson eyed lady but there just came a point where fantasy and reality couldn't cross lines anylonger. He knew they'd crossed that one before they'd even began. His mother had warned him, Gabriel had warned him.. he'd been selfish and for once had wanted something where he could meet in the middle.. and he'd thought he'd had it.. but it was only a fairytale, he knew that now.
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Her gaze, having traveled to Valkyrie, shot back towards Davinci. She studied his face for a moment, trying to decipher if what he said meant more than simply just those words. What thoughts were floating in that brain of his? Why did this all have to be so difficult? "No, no.. that’s not.. no. I," she wasn’t sure what she had planned to say and now she seemed to be tongue tied. Along her cheek bones she could feel the blood pooling. She let her gaze fall towards the ground, loosing the nerves to look him in the face. "I’ll just… go back... and finish my dress." She turned, feeling defeated. Her ears drooped and fell closer to her skull, while she dragged herself back along the shore to where she had discarded her possessions. Why had she even gone down there in the first place? What had she thought she was going to accomplish? Surely DaVinci wasn’t going to scoop her up in his arms and take her off to some far away place. Their love was impossible. Besides, it was clear he didn’t want it any more. Ryan was ruining everything.
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DaVinci didn't want to seem like the bad guy it it appeared he was doing just that. First the poor child had felt guilty to even be talking to him and now here he was breaking Ryan's heart only because he knew it was almost impossible for the two of them to live this sort of life. He sighed softly and stepped forward to catch her hand before the woman moved too far. "Ryan..." he said helplessly. He wasn't in this alone but at times he just felt like he was, and seeing Val posed just a few feet away made it even more real.
"You don't have to go.. " he said, the sadness lingering in his voice as he tried to ask the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue since he'd caught sight of Ryan's daughter. ".. just.. Who was he?" He knew she'd said it was an accident, that she'd made the wrong choice and he knew that she had very low views of the man who was father to her child but somehow he felt that it was something he deserved to know.
Those stormy orbs seemed to not want to meet her eyes because he knew what he'd said earlier was a lie. He didn't want to throw away what they had.. but like he'd always walked a thin line between the two who's blood he shared their love's line was even thinner and fraying everyday. To wake up one morning and find they were to go to war again the clan would kill him and he'd rather it not do the same to her. Better to forget he ever existed than to live a love divided.
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She hadn’t expected his soft voice to save her, nor the sweep of his hand to catch hers before she had a chance to flee. She stopped, still looking in the direction of her possessions, as she waited for him to say more. To say anything. She wanted to hear the smooth voice of his again and just like it was now, so soft. It made her want to melt. "You don't have to go.. " And that was exactly what she needed to hear.
She twirled, facing him now, searching those shining eyes for the meaning behind this. So, did he really still love her? Did he actually want her? Maybe she hadn’t ruined this completely. Maybe, just maybe, she shouldn’t abandon him yet. But his question drained the blood from her face. She never wanted to have to admit it, for the sickness it brought on herself. She found herself looking towards the ground, studying the soft pebbles there, before shooting her gaze towards Valkyrie. Though she had moved off a bit from the two, she still looked up at them from the small ball she had recoiled herself into. Ryan took a step closer to DaVinci, though didn’t lift her gaze just yet.
"I’m not proud of it," she started, though she knew that DaVinci was well aware of this by now. She wanted to look him in the eye when she revealed to him the father, but she thought it might be too hard. "He," she started, glancing up to his steel blue eyes for just a moment, before averting them. "Hybrid," she finally responded, in a voice comparable to a whisper.
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DaVinci knew he was weak, he knew the woman still has his heart even though he was trying to let go. The soft touch of his hand on hers reminded him of everything she was, everything he wanted her to be.. yet was he really going to sit here and lie to the woman, to tell her that it was the best thing for them to just disappear today and never see one another again, to just forget about that moment in time when they could have believed in fairytales. Yes, or so that's the lie he tried to convince himself of every moment that they stood there.
The pain that burned in his stormy orbs at the fight he was losing in his mind and soul was too much to hide as she turned to face him. She deserved better, he knew that, and he couldn't give her the world she wanted.. nor could the boy from the wrong side of the tracks live in her dreams where she raised her daughter and found so slim breath of happiness. Real life just didn't work thatway. He watched as the color drained from her face at the question he asked. He knew he had no right to know.. but for some reason he just needed to hear it.
..and what was revealed was almost too much as a memory flashed before his eyes of a fight he'd stupidly taken part in right in the mists of Inferni's own lands. "Hybrid.." he said bitterly as he gazed away. Could have been any other male from Inferni and he could have handled it better, but no, it had to be Hybrid.
He just shook his head and closed his eyes, when he opened them he didn't even think as he asked, though somewhere in his soul he already knew it was pointless. "Come with me Ryan.. bring Val and come home with me.." He was a fool, but a fool in love was blind and he would still ask the questions that he already knew the answers to and that would just continue to break his heart.
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"Don’t do this to me," she said just barely above a whisper. She couldn’t bring herself to look in his eyes even though it was the one thing she wanted to do so badly. They wouldn’t bring her the comfort that she sought. Instead, they would break her heart’s pieces further so that in the end it would be futile to even try and put it back together. No, she just could not look up at him. Not yet, not now.
"We can’t leave our home," Ryan spoke softly, now almost dismissing the fact that Valkyrie was still there, watching from just a short distance. DaVinci was too close to her, and she was too vulnerable. Just a step further and she could be in his arms, could feel his heart beat beneath the warmth of his ribs. Just one step and all the bad could slip away. Just one step…
"I can’t leave my family." Was it selfish of her to want to stay here? Of course it was. Anselm was no longer around, and even though she shared blood with many of the clan’s members, no one really mattered to her as much as she knew the boy before her did. But then why wouldn’t she let herself go from the clan’s clutches? Something held her there. Something she couldn’t identify just now.
"I love you," recklessness, as a tear spilled past the crimson.
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D: I R Sad!
"Ryan..." He couldn't help it, she'd had him from hello and she had him twisted around her little finger now. His stormy orbs trying to met those crimson ones but was denied. He pulled her hand up to his face as he held it against his cheek, trying to find all the right words. The ones that would sweep her off her feet and bring the smile back to that face with misty eyes and the soft twinkling laughter.. but he failed, there were no words to say what he felt.
The raw ache of the wound she'd already granted him seemed to increase with every sentence she spoke, with every excuse she gave. He could feel the truth of it coming to light as she went on, the tears threatening his own eyes as his heart pounded and he knew what was coming. Was he really going to lose her to a place where he could never belong. If he could he knew he would abandon his whole world for her.. but she couldn't for him.
The cold hard truth didn't settle in until she said those three little words, the tear that spilled from behind her crimson eyes was met with one from his own stormy eyes, carving a trail down his cheek and dropping softly to her fingers as he softly begged. "They would never allow me.." He closed his eyes, already knowing Gabriel's answer if he showed up on the frontsteps of the clan's lands. "..we could never be together.." He didn't want the truth of it all to be said outloud but it was too late and he knew it.
"I love you too.." he just said roughly before letting go of her hand. He couldn't just stand there. He wasn't in control anymore, this wasn't their little fairytale. His eyes cast up to look at the woman one more time before he turned away. Why did it have to be this way he didn't know but it was killing him inside. He just wanted to be in love, with her and only her.. and yet the world was like a battleground and she was suppose to be his enemy. He closed his eyes and took that first step to telling her goodbye.. yet he couldn't force himself to move. Why was everything so complicated.
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She could feel the burn in her throat as he brought her palm to his face and then she couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t face the hurt. The tears came softly, silently, while Davinci’s soft steel gaze was hidden behind lids. Ryan studied his face now, seeing the sadness radiate from him as if it was tangible. She knew his words were true and that Gabriel would never allow Davinci here. There had been too many things to come to pass before their love, and those grudges wouldn’t die. And so in its place, they were forced to let their love die.
And so it had begun.
He dropped her hand and Ryan knew that this would be the moment that would always be carved into her broken heart. Here is where their love would end because the young Inferni woman was too stubborn to leave behind the clan. She didn’t know how she could fix this. The things she wanted could never live in harmony side by side. And so, for now, she would choose her clan over him. For now, and though she didn’t want to admit it, probably forever.
This was the end.
"I’m sorry," she barely was able to choke out. She moved to Valkyrie then, and scooped the little girl into her arms. It didn’t matter if DaVinci couldn’t find the will to move, Ryan had done it for him. She turned then, walking towards where she had left the dress-in-progress. She would take Valkyrie back to Inferni and live their with her broken heart. She knew there was no other way. At least, that’s what she thought.
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It was as though everything was in slow motion as he opened his eyes and watched the tears that seemed to cascade down the beautiful face that belonged to the woman that was breaking his heart all over again. He'd never even told her that he forgave her for the events that has transpired in the creation of Valkyrie.. but he didn't believe that he needed to.
He didn't fight as she pulled away, he couldn't. The lump caught in his throat was too much as the crimson eyed beauty from Inferni was disappearing from his world all over again. He wanted to call out, to chase her and grab the woman and child up and tell her how he really felt. He wanted to beg her to run away with him and create a whole new beginning..
...but he didn't.
Instead the Savant of Phoenix Valley stood on a quickly deserting beach and cried silent tears. He couldn't watch her walk away anylonger so the man turned his eyes towards the bay and stared out at the grey waves before closing his eyes and turning away from the whole scene before him. This was not his world, this was not his love story.
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