[html] set after the thread in Inferni!
She'd returned to Syemv, only to stumble across Shadow's scent. Following it, she'd found her son, her only son. Or rather, his bloated, crow-pecked corpse. He'd been mutilated, ruined, it it hadn't been for his scent, which was almost covered by the stench of rot nd blood and worse, she wouldn't have known. She'd picked the boy up, cradling his broken form, sobbing, stumbling away. Surely the coyotes wouldn't begrudge her her son's body? No one stopped her on her way to her den in the city, where his smaller, younger siblings were buried, the pups she'd lost giving birth, and the body of Killane, who'd died days later. Now he would join them there, 9in the garden behind her den/house.
She kneeled, holding the corpse to her. Suddenly, her choked sobs rose into howls of anguish, loud and throaty, broken and despairing. her son, her only son, was gone. Howl after howl poured from her maw, even as something fragile snapped inside. The blood pooling under her white body wasn't his, but hers, as the fragile lives of the pups growing abruptly ended. She'd been bleeding on and off, but had wanted to find her boy before taking to rest in the den. her chance had taken it toll on her body, especuially at the shock of her grisly discovery.
She could feel the lives slipping away and her howls increaseds in volume. her mates pups, too. She was loosing everything, everything she held dear. She lifted her hands to her hair, pulling, grieving for her child, and the lives that were slowly sliding from her body. Her wordless howls became one distinguishable words befre she fell silent, rocking back and forth, holding herself. NO!
She rocked back and forth, her bi-colored yes numbly fixed on the broken form of Shadow. great, silent sobs rocked her thin frame, making look like the wan mother was having a seizure. Over and over, her lips formed silent pleas, no sound coming from her mouth. No, please...please, no. Suddenly she stood, blood running down her legs. She picked up a brick from the walkway border, hurling it through the nearby picture window. She grabbed her mane again, pulling harder, wanting -irrationally- to pull it from her head. And then the burst of adrenaline was over and she swayed, slwoly toppling over, landing in the soft snow, her blood staining the area red.
Credit to Misery!
He was a hunter now, he was able to find a skill with in a rank that he knew, and knew that he could be the best that he was able to be, he felt like this was this what he was breed for. He was no longer in charge of making sure that there was no stray members at the borders, though maybe that why the two female moved him up two ranks and not just the one, he wasn't that best at the borders so it would be horrid for him to teach others. What ever the reason was, if it be for his lack of skills in one area, or he just proved his skill into another.
The male was stocking around the lands, when he heard her howl, it sounded as if she was in some sort of pain. It didn't matter if he was upset at her and him-self for allowing that night to happen, even if it was great. He had once again brought much shame to his father's name, he was glad he wasn't around, he would have surely ran him up the flag pole and left him flapping there by his tail for sure.
He threw his hunt out the window going where the sound came from, with in seconds of starting his run he could smell the blood, and it wasn't just her's there was Shadow's. The male's mind went into a state of panic. His son, and his mate, and the smell of blood from the both. The male whimpered as he seen the house, there was window...there was a gate, the male mind raced as he looked quickly a dove to the gate jumping over it as he seen her, holding a twisted figure of a black child, and blood coming out of her, the male screamed, he worried about her, he quickly ran over to her, forcing him-self to make a quick shift. He scream in fear of her health and the health of there child, he scream because of the pain he was putting him-self though to help her.
"Deuce, what's wrong?"
As soon as he was able to the male pulled her into him, pushing her arms down holding them onto his legs, let her rip his hair out he didn't care. He thought maybe there was a child in her, from Erik one that was just really late coming?!
"Push love, Push. We will deal with the questions later, now just push."
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She continued to sob silently, even as her mate was there, taking her into his arms. She buried her face in his fur, clutching him tightly. The things slidig from her womb weren't even formed yet, just masses of tissue and clots of blood, but they were lucifer's. She could feel the flow slowing and pressed her face into his chest, sobbing brokenly. They were gone, the lives inside of her, and she felt achingly empty.
They're gone, lucifer...our pups are all gone...I'm sorry.... She spoke brokenly, haltingly, but the seizure like sobbing had stopped. She didn't move her head to look at him, or at Shadow's bloated, magled body. the image of her son's corpse would be forever burned into her mind. Her tears flowed unchecked as she clung to him tightly, sniffling and whimpering, apologizing and praying alternately.
After a longer while, she lifted her face, to look at him, her fingers still wrapped tightly in his fur. I'm sorry, lucifer....
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The male didn't let go of her, he could be strong for her, he had to be. It didn't matter if he cared about Shadow like that was his own son. Seeing the black boy laying there bent and twisted like a twig that was snapped. The male's gut twisted, he felt sick, he wanted to get sick, just to cure the feeling. He couldn't, he held back the heaves trying to be strong for her. The male rubbed one paw over her back and one though her mane, as he rubbed his maw into her, holding her against him, allowing her to sob all that she wanted, to just cry out any misery or grief that she had.
Shh...It's going to be okay. Was it though? After all the pups where put to rest, would thing ever be the same? This was the male's frist litter of pups, these...bloody masses would have grown into his offspring, they would have been his kids, his frist real shot at being a father. He sighed softly, he was scared that he wouldn't be able to come out of this okay, let alone her, she always took thins harder, the male sighed again as his voice shudder he was a lost for any thing to say or do.We need to lay them to rest.
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It's going to be okay....we need to lay them to rest. She continued to look at him, not quite comprehending what the male had said. It was going to be okay? Would anything ever be okay? The dead lifeless things had been growing inside of her, had been part of her. She'd wanted them, yearned for them. She'd prayed for them, offered anything to Rhiannon in exchange for them. And they'd slipped away so easilly, so silently. They'd never learn to walk, never learn to talk, never ropm in the family den with their siblings. And Shadow, her beloved son. The boy who looked so much like Luicfer...he had been taken away too. She was a horrid mother. She couldn't even protect her own child from that tainted land.
After a long, silent moment, she nodded. She stood slowly, woozy and unsure of her footing. She'd done this before, buried other children. Two graves from her first litter, four from her second. And tonight they would add two more. One for Shadow, and one for the formless masses that were Lucifers pups. She swallowed hard, feeling her body going slowly numb. She welcomed the sweet oblivion, welcomed the numbness. If she was numb, she wouldn't feel.
She opened the human shed. Along with rusted hunks of useless technology, there was a shovel and a pick axe. Shivering with the emotions she wasn't feeling, she handed he male the pickaxe, not entirely sure she'd stay on her feet to do this, but needing to try. Break the dirt over here, i'll move it until it's deep enough. Her voice was full of emptiness, numbness. She wanted to curl up inside her den and die now. But she couldn't, not yet. The children had to be laid to rest. She showed him the graveyard, as she'd privately nicknamed it. It was her pups, her legacy. her failures. Killane's grave was obviously well tended, compared the others. She'd taken good care of him, but he'd died days after birth. it had been a miracle the small grey boy had survived at all. She'd neglected Shadow to tend to Killane, and now she'd paid for it, by losing Shadow too. For once she was almost glad Lucifer couldn't read. The boy's full name had been killane Aatte. The other deceased pups all had her surname. The one who'd lived had Erik's name., then later Lucifers. She stood, shvel held loosely, waiting for her mate to come help her.
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Maybe he failed to tell her, maybe she just didn't care, the male snorted at her helpless try at digging a hole, maybe it would help her mental but if they where ever going to try again, the male was going to have to take care of her. Lucifer stood up, he was ready for death to come and take him away and leave Shadow in his place, he hadn't grown to want the pups, heck this was the first time she had told him about them, but Shadow...he was his boy, he helped raised him, he wanted the boy to look up at him, and just say "I love you Dad" no...some ass hole ripped that away from him. He wanted to take that being's life, but he knew that more blood split over blood would never end the cycle. Lucifer wanted to cry, his gut begged him, and prayed for him to fall down curl up into a ball and cry away the night, and cry away his life. Maybe things would be better, maybe he would make every one happier.
With a sigh the male walked over to her, with a sigh picking her up, as he dropped the axe, he would deal with her wish later, he wanted her to sit down. He shook his head. His voice shook with sadness."Sit, rest, I'll do the work, I caused it." He pinned her to the ground looking her in the eyes, locking his now cold blue eyes. The male gave a firm look, he looked at her. "For the love of every thing, you move and I will hurt you."The male walked over to the ground where she had pointed it out, as he spreed it out, there was three pups, one that knew the joys of life and two that didn't. The male wasn't going to name the two, that was the mother's job, Lucifer swung the axe down with a grunt, taking all of his hate and sadness out upon the ground, there, and then he started to cry, tears came to his face.
After he was sure the ground was broken up the male dropped the axe upon the ground and picked up the shovel and started digging, he was going to dig all three, and maybe his own, at this rate. Who ever that female and her horse was that pulled him from from the drink of death, he wanted her to come back and take him with his children, really was that to much to ask?"How deep would you like it Deuce?" Her wish was his command, he wanted her to be happy,...well as happy as she could be under every thing that happened. Lucifer grunted, as he looked to the white female, she was ill...an illness that he caused. Would this illness heal, or would it in the end kill the both of them. "Deuce....I'm sorry for being so mean, and hateful to you. I caused you to miscarry." He wasn't asking for her to forgive him, he wasn't offering up any thing that he knew that he couldn't do. After the children where resting. He would talk to the white female more, and try to work things out.
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She held herself tightly, watching Lucifer. She wanted him to come back and hold her, she was shivering in the cold, but her shudders weren't from the cold. Unless emotional cold counted, that is. When he turned and asked how deep she responded softly. That's deep enough.... So many graves, so many pups lost. She wasn't a fit mother, wasn't fit to carry. It hurt her; she wanted to be a good mother, instead she always ended up ruining the child.
She couldn't name the two bloody masses, the ones that were pups forming. She couldn't do it. She didn't know if they were male or female, if they would have looked like mother or father. She shuddered, holding herself tightly. She looked at lucifer longingly. If she hadn't been so numb with misery, she would hav been deeply upset at his words. It wasn't his fault at all...she just wasn't meant to carry pups. She didn't respond, she didn't know how.
she'd heeded his words until it was actually time to bury her son. their son. Realizing this was the last time she'd hold the boy, she scooped his lifeless body into her arms. Her baby, her son. Her sobs began anew, great hoarse gulping sobs. She couldn't bear it, couldn't bear knowning someone, something had killed her child, had left the boy in agony. She knew healing enough to know the look of a body that slwoly bled to death. her son was one of those. It hurt her.
She rocked back and forth, keening the boy's name, devastated.
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He watched her, she moved slowly, she was hurt, he could read that all over her. Seeing her only son that nearly lived to see the age of one. The male couldn't help but to feel sorry for her. Lucifer stood back shuddering, he wasn't sure if it was the chilly weather or if it was his nerve, shot and gone. The male sighed as he looked to her holding her son with in her hands, in a way he wanted to snarl and push her to sit her back down. The male lowered his head, resting his body upon the shovel that he planted with in the ground, letting her take her own sweet time, he was going to take her back to his den, let her drink her sorrow away, and then let her start the moaning process come morning.
He wasn't sure if she wanted him there, he wasn't the best at all of these emotional stuff, he was cold, he was drawn away from the world, only a few out there that he trusted. The black male looked back up, looking to her, holding the mangled body. Lucifer sighed. He walked over to the two bloody masses, these where his children..Shadow...he wanted if to be his...but when it came down to these...these masses where his.
Talking over to Deuce and Shadow, as he looked at her."Should we rest the family together?" Lucifer rested so his thighs where touching her's. He was holding back the tears. He had to be strong, he was the rock of the family.
((Bit of PP))
She looked numbly at her mate throgh bloodshot eyes, Shadow cradled protectively to her chest. After a moment, she nodded. yes, she said numbly. they should be together. His thighs were touching hers, but this time there was no romantic kindling, no flame of desire. All she wanted was her son back. His body reeked of coyote, but she didn't know who, and she couldn't bring herself to care. She clutched the body tighter, not caring that blood was covering her pristine fur.
She looked to him, he was so strong. In a way, she knew it as for her, was to keep her from falling apart, and she was glad. In another way, she wanted to see him cry so she knew he was hurting too. But she knew, at least, subconciously, that her mate was aching as she was. He reached out for the boy. After a moment, she relented the corpse. her mind, unable to cope with the brutal death of her child, the loss of her unborn pups, was shutting down.
Her tears dried up slowly as numbness overtook her mind and soul. She lowered her head. She spoke slowly, numbly. Rhiannon, watch over our children, take them in your loving embrace. Please....do not hold my sins against them. Her voice cracked, died and she sat there, on her knees, looking at Lucifer blankly, numbly.
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